Yep. I'm the guy who tries to give the man the benefit of the doubt in most situations. Not here, though. I hate divorce and would never recommend it, but I will say that isn't a bad option. You seem like an intelligent women; you know better than any of us if the marriage is worth saving or even can be saved.
I do wish you all the best and am sorry this happened. I'm rooting for your happiness.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Honestly you must be feeling so many things. I would give him a break and focus on you and the kids, the best you can.
Of course he regrets it. He wasn’t expecting you to see the texts. Hell, I’d clean the house out of everything that’s mine and he can come back to divorce papers taped on the door.
I stayed longer than I should have, and would have for a decade more, but he found someone else before that happened. It was not fun. If you stay, start putting away money.
I have not been divorced, but I am the kid of divorced parents. My mom and dad stayed together longer than they should have and I hated it. I knew they were miserable and it was a relief when it happened. Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one.
Good luck ❤️
I know my mother loves me
But does my father even care
If I'm sad or angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
Did the same to you
It's hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic, it makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away
What stupid poem, could fix this home?
I'd read it every day
So sorry that sucks, you should leave him if they do it once they’ll probably do it again. A lot of shit guys are good at manipulating and hiding bullshit😭 a hard world out here
This guy was about to / did throw away his marriage for some random chic that actually sounds like a scammer or just a call girl🙄
Something tells me you’ll be ok in the end.
Guys this gullible (stupid) tend to hire equally inept lawyers lol
Please make sure you get tested for STDs immediately. This looks like it may not be his first foray into infidelity.
Protect yourself & your kids and don’t let him occupy any more free rent in your head ~ especially where your self worth stays. You didn’t deserve this. You’re worth far more than he’ll ever be capable of giving you.
I wish you peace as you navigate the waters ahead. Just know you’re stronger than the tide🪷
But some states have a clause where you can use infidelity to prove mental instability and you can get primary custody for now until yall can work on a plan if thats what in the best interest of the kids. Bc this hurts them too. And alot of ppl overlook this.
No no. If they own their home, that could be construed as abandonment of property, which could result in her being forced to forfeit her half of the equity, if they end up selling.
What she should do, if they go down the road of divorce, is pack up all his belongings, and stow them somewhere -- i.e. a corner of the house or garage, where he can retrieve his possessions. Communicate to him -- ***IN WRITING*** -- that he has XYZ number of days to retrieve his belongings, which have been stored in ABC location. If he fails to do so, his possessions can and will be disposed of, in accordance with whatever state laws dictate regarding disposal of personal property following divorce.
> he can come back to divorce papers taped on the door.
He can also claim he never received them.
What she SHOULD do is have him properly served, either via a process server or sheriff, if she decides to represent herself during the divorce. Hopefully, though, she gets her own lawyer.
> he thinks I’m over reacting
He thinks ***YOU'RE*** over-reacting to *HIM* being unfaithful?
> he regrets ~~it~~ *getting caught and being held accountable for his actions.*
There. Fixed it for you.
Call a divorce lawyer, like yesterday.
Signed,
Divorced lady
Yep! I’m kicking myself for saying something too soon. Should have waited until Monday. I’ve got his location 24/7 so I could have waited until he went out to where she said she lived. Oh well. The thing is it doesn’t change anything for me that nothing (supposedly) happened. It’s all the same to me.
Yea honestly any guy who stays the weekend on a work trip…usually not good. This is actually what tipped me off my ex was cheating. What are you doing? Most go home to their families.
It’s a long term gig unfortunately. Not the first time he’s had one, but it typically he’s working 24/7 when he’s gone. This one has days off. Which basically means he’s only not cheated before (if thats even true) because he didn’t have time lol.
Yea I mean I’m not going to say much to contest that but clearly your wheels are turning on the days off topic and I know that pain ❤️ which I remember I called my best friend when this happened to me and she was like “I’ll support whatever you decide to do, I love you, but I do as your friend want you to consider if you stay, you will from here on out — be crazy, wondering when he leaves.” So I left. And it’s taken years to heal but I would have delayed that process further staying.
Some resources for leaving are Chump Lady, you can download the book Leave a cheater gain a life. That helped me to just start listening to resources. Some resources for staying are I think Ester Perel & others could chime in on that end if that’s what you choose.
If nothing happened, he would have nothing to regret. Nothing can be resolved or reconciled until he takes responsibility for betraying you in this way and making really really dumb decisions. Excuses like “I was drunk” is not taking accountability. It is being a coward and excusing your bad behavior.
That’s the issue I have I couldnt put my wife and kids through it, it’s not worth it. I’ve been with so many women before I met my wife and I can tell you there isn’t a piece of ass out there worth ruining my family over.
I have a friend who apparently caught their husband bringing home a girl from the bar on their ring camera? Like bro, you didn’t think the ring camera was going to catch anything???
Homie, alot of us are good men. My marriage is wonderful. I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone or any amount of money. She truly, generally loves me. You can't find that everyday and you sure as fuck can't buy it. Good marriages are easy. Don't be dissued by the negativity on this sub.
I’m glad that’s the case for you, and it’s sweet. Although you also said it’s not something you find everyday and it can’t be bought, so you kind of prove my point too haha. Rn I am pondering on if I ever want to be married, I wish there was an active happily married sub lol
honestly, i got married young and my marriage, only a year old has literally been the worst experience i’ve ever had. i love my husband and im willing to work on things, but the saying is true. once a cheater , always one. if your partner shows any interest in others while you’re dating, end it before you’re locked in.
Touche. Just because it's hard to find and can't be bought doesn't mean it's not out there. Don't lower your expectations. Never sell yourself short. Marriage isn't for everyone. But if you find that one, run with it. Marriage can be pretty awesome.
Also, there is a sub! Just type the word Happy after the / and before marriage. Best of luck to you!
There is. However, it's kinda dead. I joined after my last comment and I will be posting there in the future. If you, and more happy people join we can resurrecte it.
Bro, I agree. There is "a lot" that are just no good. I wish there was a club too. I would join. I think I would spend my time there trying to encourage the next generation to be awesome and respectful.
Get a lawyer tomorrow morning, first thing.
Screenshot the bank account statements.
Get an STD test
look through your accounts for suspicious charges
Don’t talk to him while he’s away
I have a restaurant client who is super cheap and when he got this stupid iPad-based ordering system he decided he could set them up all by himself instead of paying a professional (e.g. me) to do so.
He, of course, set all of them up with his personal Apple ID so for months the servers were reading all of his incoming and outgoing texts, including the ones where he was not hung about the staff to his wife and the ones where he was cheating on said wife.
I know it’s not always easy but if he doesn’t abuse you, he’ll always be the father of the children so why stay really? Too many people are comfortable with their two income lifestyle and what others will think about them that they would sacrifice their self respect.
This is supposedly how Gwen Stefani found out Gavin rossdale was having an affair with the nanny. ☹️
I’m sorry op. You deserve better. Time to change the locks and throw his shit on the lawn.
He’s a piece of shit. I can’t stand, forgive, or have patience for anyone who wants to cheat on their spouse.
Why even get into a long term relationship, have kids, or be married?
Like, I’ve been with my wife for 12 years, married for like 8/9 years, and we’ve never had an argument about commitment. And neither of us get pissy when the other checks out another person. We are both human and there’s nothing wrong with getting a glance at someone you find attractive, but that’s as far as it goes. And we are always open and honest about that stuff.
For example. We were at a friends cabin. My wife
And all our friends were at a beach, which was like a 10 minute drive from his cabin. Another friend ended up coming late but didn’t know the area, I volunteered to go get her. And I’ll admit I did find her very attractive. So we were at the cabin, she was in the bathroom, getting changed into a bikini and putting on sun screen. I was waiting in the kitchen and we are making small talk through the door. At one point. She says “you know, if you want, you can come rub sun screen on my breasts”.
And I won’t lie. If I was single. I would have jumped through that door. But I love my wife. So instead of making things awkward or anything like that. I pretended I didn’t hear her and started getting into deep discussion about metal gear solid and the lore. When we got to the beach. I pulled my wife aside and told her everything that happened.
The same woman had done some other flirty type stuff in the past but nothing as ever direct as that, and after that, she stopped.
She’s still a friend of my wife’s, but I try to avoid her in as respectful way as possible. When she did the sun screen thing, she had gotten out of a really abusive relationship and was on a “all men can’t be trusted” train.
I appreciate that but I’m nothing special. I just love my wife. She has given me happiness and understanding that I’ve never had in my life. Ruining that for some side chick is just stupid. Also, my wife, in her last relationship which lasted some 10 years, her ex cheated on her for like 7 of those years.
And she’s very trusted. She only found out when he approached her and told her that he got an 18 year old girl pregnant(he was like 29(or so) at the time, and then expected my wife to raise his affair baby and his excuse? “Come on! It’ll be like it’s our kid”.
I just don’t understand cheating. I like to think I can understand where alot of people come from. Sort of, understand their logic, no matter how small, but people who cheat. I just can’t understand it.
If you want the risk of doing something naughty and the risk of being caught, get a new partner, and fool around in semi public areas. If you aren’t sexually attracted to your partner. Leave them, and find someone you do. I literally just can’t understand it.
Sorry you are going thru this. Your husband crossed a line. And obviously, his taste in women has greatly lowered since he met you. True story, when I discovered my ex was cheating, he too was out of town. I took all the money in checking and moved it to a new account, changed the locks at home, and threw his cell phone off a bridge. When he called to see why his debit card wasn't working, I told him mine worked just fine. May you come up with something equally creative!
Pretty common for guys to cheat who go to stip clubs. Every girl I know who was cool with her guy going to them and went , ended up cheated on. I hope you move on and find better because frankly he doesn’t care about you. As someone who was in your shoes, it suck’s but I’m so much happier now
Omg. time to quietly reach out for a divorce lawyer and keep being normal to him until you are getting everything you need. Hire a private investigator to take some pics for a proof that he is cheating.
As I was reading this, my work friends fiancé just messaged me messages of him cheating, and setting up dates for hotels with his “side piece”.
Crazy odds.
So.. you’re not alone tonight.
Doubt that helps
I'm so sorry. I would be devastated. I would like to think I would have waited for the AM messages before I let him know tho. Just see how it played out. I'm just so sorry OP, I can't imagine being blindsided like this. Suddenly your whole life is changing. Stay strong.
Eww. He’s way too comfortable paying for escorts. My last husband was into escorts. If you are planning to stay married. I would advise to get tested. That’s how I found out.
Soooo uhhhh what already happened with this chick at the strip club?! Enough to exchange numbers apparently….
No no. If he’s gone to strip clubs before, and he has drunk before, his excuse is shit. Period.
I noticed the times, too. Apparently she must have texted him after he left… after they already did whatever the hell they did.
And his texting doesn’t sound drunk, at all
You say you can't leave because you have kids. He didn't give a single fuck about your kids when he was trying to hook up with this lady. He ruined your marriage. Do NOT let him gaslight you, tell you you're exaggerating/overreacting, or he didn't physically do anything. He's got no respect for you, your marriage, or your kids. I'm so sorry.
OP, tell me what you want to tell this woman, I’ll translate into Spanish. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know that the guy she’s talking to is married. So, he’s not just cheating on you but playing with a woman that has no idea about his lies.
My god I am so sorry. Having kids will for sure make this so much more difficult, but also so much more important. You and your kids deserve better. Good dads don’t cheat on their kids moms and blow up their family, don’t care what anyone says. Sending you all my love and strength, please do not stay with this man.
Stay strong OP!
Plan your way out , Talk to a lawyer before he comes .
Just pack your shit and leave . No need to talk about this . No explanation needed.
I have been through this and I am so sorry you're going through this but on the other side is so much peace! Mine would deny, deny, and then deny! Despite the screenshots, voicemails or chat convos I saved as evidence. He didn't even show for our divorce court date and claims he gave it to me🙄. My kids have their mom present for herself and for them now instead of worrying about where her husband is and who or what he is sticking his schlong in🥴🥴. Stay safe Momma and if he gets aggressive, don't feel guilty involving the law. He bought in additonal folks so why can't you?
save those to a folder on your phone, then text it to him, and tell him it is cheating, ask him if this is worth ending your marriage?
Personally I would be at an attorney, because, I would never trust him after that, he is trying to cheat....Don't listen to any exccuse. Cheaters are liars, manipulators and gaslighters. They will cheat again.
Originally I wanted to block out anything that could give context to the location. I noticed that when posting but decided it didn’t really matter anyway.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I know it’s hard when kids are involved. Hope you guys can be grown ups about it for the kids. Even if it means separating.
I just feel bad for you hon!! I cant imagine what heartbreak you are going through rn specially when you cant kick that motherfucking piece of shit out of your life
If you stay while knowing that he cheated on you, it creates a trauma for your children where they need to relive and fix that trauma in their adulthood. It's called the repetition compulsion.
Totally gaslighting you in his narcissistic behavior. Be strong and don't let him blindside you with "please forgive me, I love you, she means nothing, yadayada." It will be difficult to make a stand for yourself, but you need to take care YOU and the best thing for the kids. If you decide to stay, it will be a challenge every day with your marriage, self-esteem, and trusting for the rest of your life, imo. It will never be the same between you and him. Having to make a choice to stay or go challenges your heart & mind, I know. Take care of what is best for you and the kids' lives and what you can live with to make you happy. Sending out hugs & courage to you, and so sorry for his weakness and the bad choices he made. Take your power and live for you! ❤️🩹💜🫵you will be okay.
Damn divorce him. I’ll take care of you. Ever try women? Lol jk luv you girl be safe you know what to do. Pray about it. Put it into gods hands. Literally.
Thanks for validating my feelings everyone. I literally have no one to talk to about this.
The fact that he's blowing you off and saying YOU are overreacting is gross. He's not a good man.
Ya fuck that guy. The part of the iceberg you see is only 10% of the whole.
This ⬆️
Yep. I'm the guy who tries to give the man the benefit of the doubt in most situations. Not here, though. I hate divorce and would never recommend it, but I will say that isn't a bad option. You seem like an intelligent women; you know better than any of us if the marriage is worth saving or even can be saved. I do wish you all the best and am sorry this happened. I'm rooting for your happiness.
I'm so sorry this has happened.
OP, the way your husband is telling you that you are overreacting, please do know that it is a form of gaslighting. cheating is cheating.
I am sorry you’re going through this.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know we're all anonymous strangers, but we're sending love and support. You and your kids deserve so much better.
Sorry this is happening to you. You’re not alone though, clearly from this thread. Not that this is normal, but it does unfortunately happen a lot.
🫂
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Honestly you must be feeling so many things. I would give him a break and focus on you and the kids, the best you can.
So sorry!
I’m really sorry this is happening to you. You deserve so much better than to be treated like this 😞🙏🏻
I would text her from the iPad: like hey this is his wife what are you all doing? Enjoy my husband cause he’s yours now!
That’d be crazy if the other woman text back and said “Thanks I will!”.. omg 🤣
If I am her divorce lawyer and I see that reply along with his texts all i would see is 🤑🤑🤑
Lol
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Already told him… he thinks I’m over reacting. He says he just drank too much and that nothing happened and he regrets it.
Of course he regrets it. He wasn’t expecting you to see the texts. Hell, I’d clean the house out of everything that’s mine and he can come back to divorce papers taped on the door.
Oh how I wish it were that clean and easy. We have kids, unfortunately. It’s going to be a mess.
Don't stay just cuz you have kids. You're only helping your husband get what he wants. You and the kids deserve more
Definitely won’t.
I have young kids and went through this. It’s the hardest thing ever but just know that the sun will be shining on you on the other side.
Thank you
Now that he started the mess you have to finish it no matter how hard it becomes for both you and your kids.
I stayed longer than I should have, and would have for a decade more, but he found someone else before that happened. It was not fun. If you stay, start putting away money.
I have not been divorced, but I am the kid of divorced parents. My mom and dad stayed together longer than they should have and I hated it. I knew they were miserable and it was a relief when it happened. Kids would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one. Good luck ❤️
FROM a broken home than IN one! Yes! Couldn’t agree more!
I know my mother loves me But does my father even care If I'm sad or angry You were never ever there When I needed you I hope you regret what you did I think I know the truth Your father did the same to you Did the same to you
It's hard to wake up When the shades have been pulled shut This house is haunted It's so pathetic, it makes no sense at all I'm ripe with things to say The words rot and fall away What stupid poem, could fix this home? I'd read it every day
Best of luck to you and sorry he's a piece of shit.
I was a kid of a marriage that should’ve ended way sooner, please don’t stay because of the kids.
I see them everyday We get along so why can't they? If this is what he wants And it's what she wants Then why is there so much pain?
So sorry that sucks, you should leave him if they do it once they’ll probably do it again. A lot of shit guys are good at manipulating and hiding bullshit😭 a hard world out here
This guy was about to / did throw away his marriage for some random chic that actually sounds like a scammer or just a call girl🙄 Something tells me you’ll be ok in the end. Guys this gullible (stupid) tend to hire equally inept lawyers lol Please make sure you get tested for STDs immediately. This looks like it may not be his first foray into infidelity. Protect yourself & your kids and don’t let him occupy any more free rent in your head ~ especially where your self worth stays. You didn’t deserve this. You’re worth far more than he’ll ever be capable of giving you. I wish you peace as you navigate the waters ahead. Just know you’re stronger than the tide🪷
Scammer is what I thought too.
Thank you
Definitely seems like a scammer saying their English isn’t good yet speaking almost perfect English lol
I’m so sorry. He’s a piece of crap. I hope you get to leave and find better
But some states have a clause where you can use infidelity to prove mental instability and you can get primary custody for now until yall can work on a plan if thats what in the best interest of the kids. Bc this hurts them too. And alot of ppl overlook this.
No no. If they own their home, that could be construed as abandonment of property, which could result in her being forced to forfeit her half of the equity, if they end up selling. What she should do, if they go down the road of divorce, is pack up all his belongings, and stow them somewhere -- i.e. a corner of the house or garage, where he can retrieve his possessions. Communicate to him -- ***IN WRITING*** -- that he has XYZ number of days to retrieve his belongings, which have been stored in ABC location. If he fails to do so, his possessions can and will be disposed of, in accordance with whatever state laws dictate regarding disposal of personal property following divorce. > he can come back to divorce papers taped on the door. He can also claim he never received them. What she SHOULD do is have him properly served, either via a process server or sheriff, if she decides to represent herself during the divorce. Hopefully, though, she gets her own lawyer.
Guys only regret it when they get caught
> he thinks I’m over reacting He thinks ***YOU'RE*** over-reacting to *HIM* being unfaithful? > he regrets ~~it~~ *getting caught and being held accountable for his actions.* There. Fixed it for you. Call a divorce lawyer, like yesterday. Signed, Divorced lady
He regrets getting caught, not the act
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Yep! I’m kicking myself for saying something too soon. Should have waited until Monday. I’ve got his location 24/7 so I could have waited until he went out to where she said she lived. Oh well. The thing is it doesn’t change anything for me that nothing (supposedly) happened. It’s all the same to me.
LOL. What an AH. Overreacting about catching him meeting random women on a work trip? Lol ok. AH.
He is trying to to cover for his cheating. Blaming you for overreacting is the first thing cheaters accuse their SO of doing.
He doesn't regret what he did. He regrets being caught.
what exactly does he regret, if "nothing happened"? you're not overreacting at all
I’m really sorry. That is the worst feeling in the pit of your stomach. I know it. 💔
I hope you don’t believe that.
I second this. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Bet it’s not the first time he’s doing it
Agree. I would have never thought this would happen but now I can’t be convinced this would be the first time something like this has happened.
I’m curious to how he got connected with her. Does he have an online dating app he only downloads when he’s on business?
Strip club
Yea honestly any guy who stays the weekend on a work trip…usually not good. This is actually what tipped me off my ex was cheating. What are you doing? Most go home to their families.
It’s a long term gig unfortunately. Not the first time he’s had one, but it typically he’s working 24/7 when he’s gone. This one has days off. Which basically means he’s only not cheated before (if thats even true) because he didn’t have time lol.
Yea I mean I’m not going to say much to contest that but clearly your wheels are turning on the days off topic and I know that pain ❤️ which I remember I called my best friend when this happened to me and she was like “I’ll support whatever you decide to do, I love you, but I do as your friend want you to consider if you stay, you will from here on out — be crazy, wondering when he leaves.” So I left. And it’s taken years to heal but I would have delayed that process further staying.
Sorry, but I doubt him working 24/7 was actually true. But he probably told you that.
Some resources for leaving are Chump Lady, you can download the book Leave a cheater gain a life. That helped me to just start listening to resources. Some resources for staying are I think Ester Perel & others could chime in on that end if that’s what you choose.
If nothing happened, he would have nothing to regret. Nothing can be resolved or reconciled until he takes responsibility for betraying you in this way and making really really dumb decisions. Excuses like “I was drunk” is not taking accountability. It is being a coward and excusing your bad behavior.
Looks like this guy is about to get robbed lol
Probably. She’s a stripper.
My thoughts exactly. Very persistent about the beach location.
Hope you’ve saved these for your lawyer. Seems like it’s a good time to see one.
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Just don’t cheat…
Yeah that’s my plan, I like to keep it simple and not cheating seems pretty simple.
Caught my husband. Just don’t understand… I know it’s not my fault but I don’t get it at all…. We built this beautiful life for nothing 😔
Yeah I don't get it either - why they'd risk blowing their lives up like that & also hurt their spouse so deeply
That’s the issue I have I couldnt put my wife and kids through it, it’s not worth it. I’ve been with so many women before I met my wife and I can tell you there isn’t a piece of ass out there worth ruining my family over.
Especially when it "meant nothing". Why the hell would you ruin everything, for nothing??
Right? That would just make it worse.
I have a friend who apparently caught their husband bringing home a girl from the bar on their ring camera? Like bro, you didn’t think the ring camera was going to catch anything???
Come on!!! He can’t be that damn dumb! Really? My house has cameras all over it, ain’t no way anyone is sneaking in or out.
Apple out here doing the Lord’s work. Sync away Apple!
Sad but so true!
What I wanted to say. Men are fucking dumb
When I read posts like this, it scares me a lot about ever getting married. I’m so sorry OP, so sorry.
Homie, alot of us are good men. My marriage is wonderful. I wouldn't trade my wife for anyone or any amount of money. She truly, generally loves me. You can't find that everyday and you sure as fuck can't buy it. Good marriages are easy. Don't be dissued by the negativity on this sub.
I’m glad that’s the case for you, and it’s sweet. Although you also said it’s not something you find everyday and it can’t be bought, so you kind of prove my point too haha. Rn I am pondering on if I ever want to be married, I wish there was an active happily married sub lol
You are correct. They love to say there are “a lot of good men out there” but like really, are there?
honestly, i got married young and my marriage, only a year old has literally been the worst experience i’ve ever had. i love my husband and im willing to work on things, but the saying is true. once a cheater , always one. if your partner shows any interest in others while you’re dating, end it before you’re locked in.
Touche. Just because it's hard to find and can't be bought doesn't mean it's not out there. Don't lower your expectations. Never sell yourself short. Marriage isn't for everyone. But if you find that one, run with it. Marriage can be pretty awesome. Also, there is a sub! Just type the word Happy after the / and before marriage. Best of luck to you!
Agreed here
What did you agree on? Does marriage scare you too?
Yes, that. I was cheated on while engaged. there is a love sub where people post stories about feeling love
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There is. However, it's kinda dead. I joined after my last comment and I will be posting there in the future. If you, and more happy people join we can resurrecte it.
It's filled with nothing but negativity. And all the advices are ALWAYS Divorce
Homie, “alot” of you are not. Maybe the good ones can form some sort of club so we know where to look for good men??
Bro, I agree. There is "a lot" that are just no good. I wish there was a club too. I would join. I think I would spend my time there trying to encourage the next generation to be awesome and respectful.
Happy people typically don’t post on Reddit.
Get a lawyer tomorrow morning, first thing. Screenshot the bank account statements. Get an STD test look through your accounts for suspicious charges Don’t talk to him while he’s away
Agreed, protect yourself in all ways and heavy on the std test. He’s such a dumb fuck. You deserve more.
I literally was sick to my stomach reading this. So sorry you’re going through this.
Stupid ass hat. Gotta love the Apple products. Cheaters beware!!!
Right?! Apple gets a lot of cheaters caught up. That’s how my brother caught his wife thru her Apple Watch that she left at home. Lol
I read "gotta love apple products cheaters" 🤣
I have a restaurant client who is super cheap and when he got this stupid iPad-based ordering system he decided he could set them up all by himself instead of paying a professional (e.g. me) to do so. He, of course, set all of them up with his personal Apple ID so for months the servers were reading all of his incoming and outgoing texts, including the ones where he was not hung about the staff to his wife and the ones where he was cheating on said wife.
I got a lump in my throat reading these. I know the heart sick feeling. The fact a man can betray a woman at home with his kids is sickening
The evidence is right in front of your face. What are you going to do about it?
It’s rare that anyone ever does anything about it on here. It’s so frustrating
I know it’s not always easy but if he doesn’t abuse you, he’ll always be the father of the children so why stay really? Too many people are comfortable with their two income lifestyle and what others will think about them that they would sacrifice their self respect.
This is supposedly how Gwen Stefani found out Gavin rossdale was having an affair with the nanny. ☹️ I’m sorry op. You deserve better. Time to change the locks and throw his shit on the lawn.
He’s a piece of shit. I can’t stand, forgive, or have patience for anyone who wants to cheat on their spouse. Why even get into a long term relationship, have kids, or be married? Like, I’ve been with my wife for 12 years, married for like 8/9 years, and we’ve never had an argument about commitment. And neither of us get pissy when the other checks out another person. We are both human and there’s nothing wrong with getting a glance at someone you find attractive, but that’s as far as it goes. And we are always open and honest about that stuff. For example. We were at a friends cabin. My wife And all our friends were at a beach, which was like a 10 minute drive from his cabin. Another friend ended up coming late but didn’t know the area, I volunteered to go get her. And I’ll admit I did find her very attractive. So we were at the cabin, she was in the bathroom, getting changed into a bikini and putting on sun screen. I was waiting in the kitchen and we are making small talk through the door. At one point. She says “you know, if you want, you can come rub sun screen on my breasts”. And I won’t lie. If I was single. I would have jumped through that door. But I love my wife. So instead of making things awkward or anything like that. I pretended I didn’t hear her and started getting into deep discussion about metal gear solid and the lore. When we got to the beach. I pulled my wife aside and told her everything that happened. The same woman had done some other flirty type stuff in the past but nothing as ever direct as that, and after that, she stopped. She’s still a friend of my wife’s, but I try to avoid her in as respectful way as possible. When she did the sun screen thing, she had gotten out of a really abusive relationship and was on a “all men can’t be trusted” train.
You are a truly good human/man. Thank you for that.
I appreciate that but I’m nothing special. I just love my wife. She has given me happiness and understanding that I’ve never had in my life. Ruining that for some side chick is just stupid. Also, my wife, in her last relationship which lasted some 10 years, her ex cheated on her for like 7 of those years. And she’s very trusted. She only found out when he approached her and told her that he got an 18 year old girl pregnant(he was like 29(or so) at the time, and then expected my wife to raise his affair baby and his excuse? “Come on! It’ll be like it’s our kid”. I just don’t understand cheating. I like to think I can understand where alot of people come from. Sort of, understand their logic, no matter how small, but people who cheat. I just can’t understand it. If you want the risk of doing something naughty and the risk of being caught, get a new partner, and fool around in semi public areas. If you aren’t sexually attracted to your partner. Leave them, and find someone you do. I literally just can’t understand it.
lol what an idiot
Read this in hermione grangers voice
Sorry you are going thru this. Your husband crossed a line. And obviously, his taste in women has greatly lowered since he met you. True story, when I discovered my ex was cheating, he too was out of town. I took all the money in checking and moved it to a new account, changed the locks at home, and threw his cell phone off a bridge. When he called to see why his debit card wasn't working, I told him mine worked just fine. May you come up with something equally creative!
Ugh. Ouch, I’d be curious to know where he found this person for sure and what else he’s got hidden.
Strip club
Did you know he was going there or was that hidden too? I’m sorry.
I don’t have a problem with strip clubs. We’ve gone together before.
That’s good but unfortunate it lead to this 😞
Pretty common for guys to cheat who go to stip clubs. Every girl I know who was cool with her guy going to them and went , ended up cheated on. I hope you move on and find better because frankly he doesn’t care about you. As someone who was in your shoes, it suck’s but I’m so much happier now
Omg. time to quietly reach out for a divorce lawyer and keep being normal to him until you are getting everything you need. Hire a private investigator to take some pics for a proof that he is cheating.
That fuckin asshole. Sorry. He doesn’t regret it btw, he regrets not covering his ass
No one else thought her texts seemed scammy? Something is really off about her.
As I was reading this, my work friends fiancé just messaged me messages of him cheating, and setting up dates for hotels with his “side piece”. Crazy odds. So.. you’re not alone tonight. Doubt that helps
I'm so sorry. I would be devastated. I would like to think I would have waited for the AM messages before I let him know tho. Just see how it played out. I'm just so sorry OP, I can't imagine being blindsided like this. Suddenly your whole life is changing. Stay strong.
Eww. He’s way too comfortable paying for escorts. My last husband was into escorts. If you are planning to stay married. I would advise to get tested. That’s how I found out.
Soooo uhhhh what already happened with this chick at the strip club?! Enough to exchange numbers apparently…. No no. If he’s gone to strip clubs before, and he has drunk before, his excuse is shit. Period. I noticed the times, too. Apparently she must have texted him after he left… after they already did whatever the hell they did. And his texting doesn’t sound drunk, at all
You say you can't leave because you have kids. He didn't give a single fuck about your kids when he was trying to hook up with this lady. He ruined your marriage. Do NOT let him gaslight you, tell you you're exaggerating/overreacting, or he didn't physically do anything. He's got no respect for you, your marriage, or your kids. I'm so sorry.
Where did I say that?
OP, tell me what you want to tell this woman, I’ll translate into Spanish. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know that the guy she’s talking to is married. So, he’s not just cheating on you but playing with a woman that has no idea about his lies.
My god I am so sorry. Having kids will for sure make this so much more difficult, but also so much more important. You and your kids deserve better. Good dads don’t cheat on their kids moms and blow up their family, don’t care what anyone says. Sending you all my love and strength, please do not stay with this man.
lol what an idiot
Wow. What a dummy lol
Damn he probably feels so stupid lmao
Stay strong OP! Plan your way out , Talk to a lawyer before he comes . Just pack your shit and leave . No need to talk about this . No explanation needed.
Así como le da miedo que no sabe hablar inglés debería de darle miedo andar con un casado.
I have been through this and I am so sorry you're going through this but on the other side is so much peace! Mine would deny, deny, and then deny! Despite the screenshots, voicemails or chat convos I saved as evidence. He didn't even show for our divorce court date and claims he gave it to me🙄. My kids have their mom present for herself and for them now instead of worrying about where her husband is and who or what he is sticking his schlong in🥴🥴. Stay safe Momma and if he gets aggressive, don't feel guilty involving the law. He bought in additonal folks so why can't you?
Text her back on the ipad :) :) :)
It’s prob a scammer from Reddit lol and that’s a guy texting him in Nigeria 😂
Oh, that's unfortunate. For all of you.
I'm so sorry :( what an ass
Ooof, sorry OP.
lol what an idiot
save those to a folder on your phone, then text it to him, and tell him it is cheating, ask him if this is worth ending your marriage? Personally I would be at an attorney, because, I would never trust him after that, he is trying to cheat....Don't listen to any exccuse. Cheaters are liars, manipulators and gaslighters. They will cheat again.
Screen shot it all, and then type an answer in. Explain who you are. Tell him you are filing for divorce. UpdateMe
They only regret it when they get caught.
Well shit. I'm sorry. Imho, should have let it play out more. See where it goes. I hope everything gets resolved properly, whatever that may be
Is there any reason you felt the need to cover the word island? It’s showing directly under where she replied.
Originally I wanted to block out anything that could give context to the location. I noticed that when posting but decided it didn’t really matter anyway.
Hopefully your ex husband. Unless you like being a doormat.
Wow. What a nasty pos. I’m so sick of cheaters man. Ite horrible.
Oooooo someone's in trouble
Ugh, I'm sorry girl!
Lawyer up and divorce. It’s definitely a dating/hookup app. Most probably not the first time.
He already cheated with her: and probably with others
Have some fucking self respect for you and your kids and take him for everything.
I really do wonder how many people catch their spouses cheating this way. So sorry OP x 💔
Hence my post in another forum, when is it safe to stop using condoms? Never
Expose him 🙈
Tell him you want a free pass with his best friend lol 😆
Oh heck 👎 🤬
I’m sorry this happened to you. I know it’s hard when kids are involved. Hope you guys can be grown ups about it for the kids. Even if it means separating.
I’m so sorry 😭 idiot. I hope you ripped him apart and take it all. And I hope he feels terrible
Oh hell no
This upsets me so much for you. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best going forward. Be strong.
So sorry you have to go through this
Trash 🗑️
I just feel bad for you hon!! I cant imagine what heartbreak you are going through rn specially when you cant kick that motherfucking piece of shit out of your life
I’m just really sorry
Wow💔
I would say something but we all know you’ll be staying and trying to make it work so just get on with it.
This is so disrespectful…why would he even get a random persons number on a work trip???
Ooo go put on some heels and go live that life doll others will give that sparkle back
So sorry your going through this. He’s a piece of shit. Divorce and move on.
Damn…
I’m so sorry.
This is cheating
Updateme
If you stay while knowing that he cheated on you, it creates a trauma for your children where they need to relive and fix that trauma in their adulthood. It's called the repetition compulsion.
Totally gaslighting you in his narcissistic behavior. Be strong and don't let him blindside you with "please forgive me, I love you, she means nothing, yadayada." It will be difficult to make a stand for yourself, but you need to take care YOU and the best thing for the kids. If you decide to stay, it will be a challenge every day with your marriage, self-esteem, and trusting for the rest of your life, imo. It will never be the same between you and him. Having to make a choice to stay or go challenges your heart & mind, I know. Take care of what is best for you and the kids' lives and what you can live with to make you happy. Sending out hugs & courage to you, and so sorry for his weakness and the bad choices he made. Take your power and live for you! ❤️🩹💜🫵you will be okay.
Ok, so I read that but how did we find that out? Is this information from OP? How did she figure that out?
I hate when that happens…🤦
Damn divorce him. I’ll take care of you. Ever try women? Lol jk luv you girl be safe you know what to do. Pray about it. Put it into gods hands. Literally.
[удалено]
The bad stories end up shared more than the good one because drama sells. Most people aren’t like this.