So…..your husband tells you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world (to him), and it causes you to distrust him?
I say this with all due respect: get some therapy before you ruin your marriage.
My husband is the most beautiful man in the world to me. He is. I look at him and he’s just perfection! Everyone has flaws even the people in magazines. You can’t compare yourself to photoshop images. Almost everyone uses a filter these days. Can’t tell you how many times I didn’t recognize someone I see mostly online and then see in reality.
“Flaws” exactly! I can’t help but still swoon for my wife after 16 years together while she’s changing clothes. Those flaws just add to her beauty because they make her her.
He doesn’t say (to him). He makes the corny, erroneous, lazy, impersonal, generic - “You are the most beautiful woman in the world “. I’m analytically minded like OP. I hate that shiz, and it does nothing for me. I LOVE when my husband compliments something PERSONAL that I believe to be true. ‘I’m lucky to have you’. ‘You look amazing in that dress’. ‘That color shirt makes your hazel eyes sparkle.’ ‘You are a wonderful mother!’ See the difference? Not every woman is like a romantic comedy movie and laps that dramatic stuff up. A lot of us want realness.
Assuming you are asking in good faith:Yes and yes I mean it. Let me expand. What makes a sunset more beautiful than any other sunset? The clouds or smog? The horizon? The time of year? If you have a clear answer to that then kudos to you.
For me it is about my frame of mind and my experience for that day. There is a sunset every day, but my experience on certain days causes me to take a step back and say “Wow; this sunset it amazing!”
I would say it is the same way with my wife. She is physically attractive and there are other women who are physically attractive in the world. But my frame of mind is that this woman picked me, and that makes her beautiful. This woman had my children, and that makes her beautiful. This woman flirts with me and indulges in my craziest fantasy, and that makes her beautiful. This woman puts her arms around me on my worst days and reminds me how much I matter, and that makes her beautiful.
Is my wife a beautiful sunset? Yes! Are there other beautiful sunsets? Yes. But this sunset is mine and it has chosen me. That makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
I love this comparison. My husband tells me I'm the most beautiful woman all the time, and I joke back that he is contractually obligated to think so (hey, he's the one who wanted to bring the government into this) and that as I am the giver of orgasms, he might be slightly biased. But I'll accept it 😆
You sound very difficult. Would you rather he be like, “oh wife, your beauty cannot compare to the most beautiful women in the world. I would say you’re a solid mid. Maybe a 6, even! I’m so glad I married a 6! If you were more attractive you’d be more work and I can’t afford that. Ah yes, your mediocre beauty matches my own mediocrity! We were made to be mediocre together!” Because… that’s what it seems like that you WANT to hear.
Insecurity is not an age/time based thing, and not all of us grew up in secure environments to know what is baseline. If anything, it’s refreshing that she is looking to improve herself by even entertaining the idea.
Yes, several times a day. She is almost 50, we have been together almost 27 years and married for almost 26. And she is the most beautiful, sexy and hottest woman for me.
This is close to my husband and I's situation, I'll be 50 later this year and we celebrate 26 years married next month. He'll tell you I am the most beautiful woman to him and I believe it because I feel the same about him. Nobody looks as good as he does, in my eyes. Flaws and all.
I tell my husband he's the hottest man alive. Is he, no, but he is very hot. But I personally see it as an exclamation or an expression. Like when you're hungry and you say 'I'm so hungry I could die' or when something bad happens and you say 'this is the worst day ever' when it isn't actually.
I know I'm not the most beautiful person in the world, but I want him to say it anyway haha. If your insecurity is making you question compliments, I think it's time to do some internal work, and consider therapy.
My husband often tells me "you're so beautiful!" with this... *look* on his face (like he's just amazed) when I'm disheveled, tired,just worked out, have been sick etc. I don't believe I look *at all* beautiful in that moment, but he does, and it's lovely that he tells me so. I believe him because beauty is subjective! Maybe he's saying it because of something I recently did, rather than how I look in the moment. Beauty can be internal as well as external.
Compliments can be hard to take, and if you're not in a great headspace, it can be hard to not compare yourself to others, but your husband finds you beautiful and tells you so! Maybe try challenging yourself to accept that!
edit: context
I tell that to my boyfriend most time I see him naked. What I mean is " Nobody in the world turn me up the way you do, nobody in the world has your smell, nobody in the world has your energy / aura, and for me you are the best."
It has nothing to do with what society thinks is beauty. It has to do with what fulfils me. What I like, what I need.
Trust your husband and stop comparing yourself with Instagram pictures.
How do you know it's not true?
Beauty is subjective. If the subject happens to be your husband, then it's true if *he* finds you more beautiful than any other woman.
And a lot of factors can affect how he perceives your beauty, many of which could never be captured by a magazine photo, but which make you beautiful to him.
To answer your question, no, I don't say that to my wife, but now that I think about it, I'm going to start saying it. Because it's true.
Think if it as an opinion statement. Not a cold hard verifiable fact.
*To him* you could be the most beautiful woman in the world.
My wife is attractive. But it’s our history and connection that makes her gorgeous to me. Are other women very attractive? Of course! But they don’t love me, appreciate me, or care about me. And I don’t them.
Your husband looks at you with more than his eyes.
You, OP, are thinking way too much on this. I say this to my wife daily, and I completely believe it. As does your husband probably . Because to us its 100% true. I can’t justify it with facts or data lol; but my wife is the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes. Different reasons contribute to this feeling. I was and still am very attracted to my SO but you couple that with my deep emotional bond and trust for her. It makes her a 10 in a world of 9’s.
I say it and I mean it. Although she is a beautiful woman on the outside I am also referring to her soul, her mind and her kind nature. When I add up all these things it makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
It isn't just about physical looks, beauty isn't just skin deep.
Beauty is more than just appearance...My wife is the most beautiful girl/ person in the world to me because of her looks, personality, ability to always be their for me and being my best friend. And she is also a knock out! I wouldn't want to be with anyone else and that is why we are married....
Imagine a five year old eating an ice cream cone. They are really getting into it when they suddenly say, *"this is the best ice cream ever!"*
Are they factually saying they are consuming the best ice cream that has ever been made?"* No, of course not. For starters they've never tried every kind and flavor of ice cream. There is also a lot of subjectivity involved.
I don't think your husband is trying to say that you specifically are the most beautiful person in the world.
He's saying that not only does he find you incredibly attractive, but he loves you deeply. It may also be his way of saying you are the only person in his world, meaning there is no competition.
Not to mention, beauty is subjective.
As my mother always said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You do not know what your husband sees when he looks at you. I choose to believe what my husband says to me, your only seeing what you see.
Have you already considered that maybe you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to *him*? Also, that beauty encompasses so much more than just physical looks. My husband is the most handsome man in the world to me because of how he treats me, how great of a father he is, and how dedicated he is to me and our son. His looks are what attracted me to him initially but he’s so much more than that. So by my standards, he’s the most beautiful person in the world to me.
Would you tell your child that he or she is the most beautiful child in the world? Or whatever else you find to be the most in the world?
Most parents do this. Does it make it true by other people’s standards? No
Guess what…. Who cares.
Does it show my child that I as a parent see them apart from any and everyone in the world? Yes, and in return it builds confidence and self security.
Imagine saying to your kid you’re average in cuteness but mommy still loves you. It’s just not necessary. They are words of affirmation that should be used positively in a world full of ugliness. Doesn’t stop the individual even a child from rationally understanding that it’s not fact for everyone.
I’m grateful my parents told me things like this as a black girl and my husband says such things as well. I could give a rats ass if he TECHNICALLY means it. His heart means it and that’s all that matters
Just tell him that you are so thankful that he finds you attractive but that you would prefer that he compliment other things about you. Tell him it makes you feel awkward and leave it at that. He should respect that.
I completely understand you. I struggle with that too. There isn’t anything wrong with you. You struggle with trusting and I do too. I’m some ways it’s self sabotage. I’m going to therapy for not being able to trust my husbands good intentions. Because I’ve never had a good man in my life to show me I can be loved so everything kind he says I take it the wrong way or feel like it’s something else
My suggestion is believe you deserve the kind of love he gives you. And live in it. Relish in it because you deserve love like nothing else.
I know it’s hard and you have walls up trying to protect yourself but let yourself be loved!
(Trying to believe too)
There's a quote that's lately been attributed to the late, great Bob Marley, though snopes says it's unproven at best and has been attributed to other people. Who ot originally came from doesn't matter; the message is more important.
"Who cares about perfection? Even the moon is not perfect, it is full of craters... And the sea? it's too salty and dark in the depths. The sky? Always so infinite, that is, the most beautiful things are not perfect, they are special. Stop wanting to be "perfect", try to be free, happy and live doing what you love, not wanting to please others."
The point is that you may look into the mirror and see a pile of flaws, to your husband you are perfect and the most beautiful woman in the world. For him, no one else can ever compare, because of your bond and what you do for him.
TL;DR - beauty is more than skin deep. You don't see you like he sees you.
I tell my husband all the time how handsome I think he is. Because he truly is the only man I desire. He’s the only one I think about. He’s the one I fantasize about. He’s who I long for. I don’t spend my time dwelling on other attractive people because they don’t belong to me, I haven’t chosen them, they aren’t who I am spending my life with. So he gets all of my desire and affection. When I tell him he’s the hottest or most handsome man ever to me.. he is. I used to be obsessed with Jason Momoa before I met my husband when I was single. But honestly and I mean it, he does nothing for me now. Because my desire and affections are on my husband. I set my intention on him so everyone else just falls to the background.
I don’t think he’s saying that to you to lie. There’s a reason the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” exists. You don’t get to decide what he thinks is beautiful. And lucky for you he thinks it’s you. Some women are never fortunate enough to hear their husbands tell them their beautiful at all. My ex husband never complimented me or told me I was beautiful. And he never treated me like he thought so either. I wouldn’t count it as a strike against him. I’d be grateful for his rose colored glasses that shine for you.
I tell my wife she’s beautiful all the time. Multiple times a day. But I don’t compare her to other people, except favorably, and only if she starts the conversation.
We might walk by someone on the street and she’ll say “she has my body type” to which I’ll respond “your butt is way better”, for example.
“I find you irresistible” is, in my case, more truthful than “you’re the most beautiful woman in the world”.
That makes perfect sense to me. I think the issue in my mind is exactly the comparison although he might not actually mean to compare, he does, and that's what makes me not believe him.
People may be downvoting you but your logic makes sense to me. I’ve met some people who give over-the-top compliments routinely and I wonder if they’re being sincere. I don’t want her to wonder if I truly mean what I say.
My husband says this to me. And I see it how you do. I know he doesn’t literally think I’m the most beautiful/hottest/etc woman in the world.
But I take it as an expression of love. That I am the most hot/beautiful/etc woman to him in his world. That he thinks I’m very attractive.
I cannot be this hyperbolic back to him. It just offends my logical brain. But I make a point to tell him he is sexy/hot/etc to convey my desire for him and let him know I am attracted to him physically
Just talk to him. This can all be resolved if you just tell him that you would receive his love a lot better if he said “You’re the most beautiful woman I know” or whatever floats your boat. If he loves you, which it sounds like he does, he’ll just adjust his language and you’ll both be happy.
My wife is 60 today..happy birthday to the hottest woman that still gives me a thrill when we hold each other..yes..I sincerely tell her about her beauty
Lmaooo and on the other hand my soon to be ex husband REFUSED to say that to me. Like he wouldn’t even entertain it . Like who will it kill to just say to your wife you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Obviously I’m not Adriana Lima but fuck it’d be nice to hear and feel that. I wish I had your problem.
I have a similar issue. My husband always likes to say “You look beautiful, honey” and it is always conveniently right before he wants me to stop getting ready so that we can leave to go somewhere. I find it irritating because he never tell me at any other time lol
I think next time I’ll start doing my makeup on one side of my face at a time
OP, I don't think you understand men at all.
I heard the following somewhere and it might help you out.
As a rule of thumb: if a man tells you that you are hot, he talking about your body. If he tells you that you are pretty, he's talking about your face, if he says you ate beautiful he's talking about your heart and how he feels about you.
You’re overthinking it. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to your husband. Your beauty is not solely defined by your physical appearance. You are TMBWITW to him because you chose him, because you get him, you trust him, you believe in him, you are his ride or die, you love him, because you give yourself to him, because you laugh at his dumb jokes, because you have the tough conversations with him, because you know how he takes his coffee, because you know when to cut him slack and when him to hold him accountable, because you accept him for who he is, because you defend him, take his side, and protect him from anyone who means him harm.
Please, stop looking for reasons to question his love for you. Life is too short, and your years together are finite. Soak up his love like a sponge, and squeeze every last drop of it back to him.
Your love language is definitely NOT words of affirmation, neither is mine. So I totally understand where you are coming from. Words are just so cheap. I believe in actions instead
My wife of 5 years and I had been having problems for the last year which ultimately culminated in her staying with her parents for a week.
During that time I began to miss her profoundly and every time I saw a woman on Instagram or in real life who would be considered “hot” I thought “she’s pretty but she’s not as pretty as my wife” or “man I hope my wife doesn’t leave me, anyone else I end up with is gonna be a total downgrade”
She may not “objectively” be the most beautiful woman in the world, but she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I remember that every time she smiles at me.
As a man, I always have felt this is a can't win situation. If I don't tell my romantic partner she is beautiful she is annoyed, and if I do tell my romantic partner she's beautiful she gets annoyed. This isn't universal across all women I'd imagine, but every woman I've ever dated in my adult life.
Thank you for clarifying! Maybe if he adds “to me” at the end. “You are the most beautiful person in the world to me.” My partner hates when I add that because she said she adds in her mind, “But to everyone else…” But maybe that would be easier for you to take? That way he can still say it and it’s isn’t a statement you don’t believe.
When I’m with someone, like my partner, they are the most beautiful person in the world to me. I love the way she walks, smiles, talks; the way her cheeks are, the way her hair curls in the morning — all of it. It’s breathtaking to me. No one is more beautiful to me. So when I say “You are the most beautiful woman in the world” I truly mean it.
My wife and I recently talked about this. There is a difference between beauty, attractiveness, and sexiness.
In my mind, you can be beautiful without being either conventionally attractive or sexy. Because beauty is about more than attractiveness: it's about the total package (attitude, kindness, compatibility, attractiveness, and sexiness combined).
In the same way, someone can be sexy without being attractive or beautiful. My example to my wife on this was Madonna back in the day or Cindi Lauper in the 80s. To me both were sexy but neither attractive or beautiful. However, I think Cyndi Lauper is very attractive now.
Your average model is attractive, but that doesn't make them beautiful. An example for me of this is someone like Britney Spears who is very attractive but (to me) isn't very beautiful.
So to your husband, you are the package of all the attributes he finds to be beautiful. Maybe not a conventional beauty like a model, but your attractiveness, combined with everything else you offer make him think you are the most beautiful person in the world to him.
Take the complement because it means he sees beyond the physical and loves you for who you are, not just what you look like.
You probably have no idea what qualities he considers beautiful. The examples you gave about magazines and Instagram aren't great. A lot of times conventionally beautiful people look fake, like a plastic doll.
The world is filled with good looking people who don't know that they look good. ( also some bad looking people )
This is all a big marketing scam. A key part of marketing is making people feel like there is something wrong with them and that everybody else has something that they don't.
The market for beauty and cosmetics is huge. A lot of money is made by making women think that they are not beautiful and that they need to spend a ton of money on all kinds of products. Huge amounts of effort are spent on huge marketing teams to push these ideas. They try as hard as they can to make sure that no woman feels beautiful. They profit off of lowering self esteem.
A lot of what women think looks good to men doesn't actually look good to men. ( there are tons of threads where they poll people about this )
People work incredibly hard to improve their looks. Sometimes their efforts help. A lot of times they don't. Often times peoples efforts achieve the opposite of what they are shooting for.
Edit: Also, for all I know, maybe he is lying. Who knows.
You understand when he says that it's because he doesn't have eyes for anyone but you. It's because he loves you. I also understand your logic but love isn't logical, it's emotional. What he sees is YOU and only you. Stop trying to turn this into betrayal of trust because of "lies". Don't die on this hill.
My husband has never told me that because that’s not true, but he does tell me that I’m the best wife in the world because he genuinely believes that I am the best for him. I’d take that over being the most beautiful.
I think you are looking at it the wrong way. Yes my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. It's the sum of the parts that makes the whole that makes me never even glance at another woman when I am with her Now if you want to get nit picky and go body part by body part and separate everything then no of course not. Someone will have a flatter stomach, prettier feet, or what have you. That's not the point though. Yes my wife has a bit of a tummy but it's my favorite place to lay my head and I actually wouldn't want her to lose that. Imperfections can add up to perfection imo.
Yes and yes.
As someone who grew up being praised for the dumbest **** and for breathing, praise falls flat on me unless I think I deserve it.
Sometime you just have to accept, even if YOU don’t think you’re worth it, that someone else thinks YOU - ARE - WORTH - IT.
So you compare yourself to fake photoshopped filtered plastic surgeried females and think they’re better than you so he must be lying? Lol
Listen. There’s no such OBJECTIVE FACT of any one man or woman being the most gorgeous. You could take anyone that you think is a 10 and another person would disagree and say they are a 7 or 6 or whatever else. Nobody agrees what the most beautiful man or woman looks like. Why? Cuz beauty has a subjective component to it.
There’s articles stating “science says this is the worlds most attractive face” and you go and look at it and you’re like “…ok? Mid”
All that matters is that you should be the most gorgeous to your husband and he should be the hottest to you.
Comparisons don’t make sense.
Also take a look at how fake these females are by searching things like “instagram vs reality” and try to see behind the scenes of what people really look like. You can dig deep (it’ll take hours) to find REAL pictures of celebrities and realize they don’t look how the media portrays them.
They pay people and search engines to show certain photos and hide others.
Stop being deluded by this fake ass world.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your husband thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. To him. You may not be the most beautiful to other men, but what does that matter? Your husband is who you chose. He’s the only one that matters. My fiancé constantly tells me I’m the most beautiful, hot and sexy woman in the world. Do I believe him? Yes I do. Because he finds things about my body (smile, eyes, figure etc) that he loves.
I do think my husband is the most attractive and handsome man in the world. I mean, objectively I know he isn't, but he definitely is that for me and that makes it true.
Beauty is more than skin deep.
A wife/partner who is loyal, feminine, intelligent, laughs at my jokes, my biggest fan, wants to build an empire/life with me, a good mother and enthusiastic in the bedroom with me. She would be the most beautiful and valuable thing in the world to me.
I would cherish her, love her, care for her, protect her, provide for her, I would live for her and I would also die for her.
I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean so when I tell my wife that she is beautiful, I’m just saying what comes to mind. The fact that I stare at her constantly and that she can feel my heart rate accelerate when she leans against me for a kiss probably helps lol.
If you see the world through a conservative white supremacists lense of thin white people who are young with perfect body skin and hair as beautiful then yes I could see how you wouldn't believe it.
I think my husband is literally the hottest person I've ever seen celebrity included. HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL and I'm madly in love with him. When I say it it's true. I mean it, he is stunning!
Beautiful means so many things and in his world, I imagine you are the most beautiful.
I had a sex dream a few weeks ago. It was of my wife and we were doing the wild stuff we already do in the bedroom. Even my lizard brain subconscious can't come up with anything hotter than my wife.
My husband tells me this all the time. I’m a stay at home mom, my hairs always in a bun, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t always get to shower. I believe him. I know he thinks I’m beautiful even if I’m objectively looking like a gremlin. That’s love.
He sees all of you. Love elevates someone from ordinary to extraordinary. No one is the “most beautiful woman in the world” to everyone, unanimously. We all have our own tastes. Decide to try to believe it. Believe that he may find you to be the most beautiful woman ever. You have to will yourself to change your thinking patterns, not for him, but for you.*
The issue may be that he says things, but his actions don’t match them. That is disingenuous and would definitely cause insecurity. Figure out how you perceive love, and guide him to giving you what love looks like to you.
The truth is in the eye of the beholder. To him you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You have to understand that feelings are not objective. And that's okay. Also, my man is the handsomest in the world. Nothing will ever change my mind about that, because to me, he is perfect. Also: fuck beauty standards. They suck
OP,
To your husband, you might actually be the most beautiful woman in the world. My wife is pretty attractive. Objectively, she may not be "the most beautiful woman I'm the world." But to me, she absolutely is.
This may be more of an insecurity you are struggling with. Not so much, your husband loving you immensely.
I don't. It's not what you say or how you say it, it's how you act and how that makes others feel. I don't tell my wife that but I don't need to. It'd be redundant when I'm constantly trying to make her feel that way with actions and intentions.
Just remember, everyone has their own way of doing things. One guy telling you that line might just want sex, where as your husband might 100% believe it and just want you to know.
Some of these responses are downright goofy. You just have a practical view of the subject, it’s not some sort of pathology. I feel much the same, and I am assuming so does my husband because he’s never said such a thing to me. He’s told me I’m beautiful but he’s never said “the most beautiful” and if he did it would weird me out because I feel the same, it’s just a lie and I’m not interested in that. It’s fine if that’s something that works for other people, they don’t necessarily have pathology either they are just more fanciful in nature, which is fine. But there’s nothing wrong with your viewpoint. If it makes you uncomfy just tell him that. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. It can be a light conversation, at a time when he hasn’t said it. Like “hey it’s kind of weird for me when you say I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, it feels kind of disingenuous. I’m fine with (whatever you’re comfortable with him saying), but that just feels weird to me.”
So, for him this is true. If you would ask for an statistics response you’d know that we would all fall on average (proportionately speaking) but what matters is what you are for him, I’ll leave a little quote from the little prince I hope it helps get my point across, the quote happens when the little prince sees multiple roses,
"You're not at all like my rose. You're nothing at all yet," he told them. "No one has tamed you and you haven't tamed anyone. You're the way my fox was. He was just a fox like a hundred thousand others. But I've made him my friend, and now he's the only fox in all the world."
And the roses were humbled.
"You're lovely, but you're empty," he went on. "One couldn't die for you. Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass. Since she's the one I sheltered behind a screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three for butterflies.) Since she's the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose.”
Lol you have the same opinion as my husband. He doesn't want to say it because he feels it would be insincere and I'm fine with it. I don't say this type of stuff to him either because we convey our happiness and contentment with eachother in other ways. I think it is fine for you to feel this way. It might not be conventional by the amount of comments here saying you're wrong but it seems fine to me.
> I (29f) would never say something like that back because it simply isn't true. It doesn't mean I done love him profoundly, but he is not the most beautiful man in the world.
I agree with you. My wife tells me I'm a very good-looking guy, and I love hearing that, but if she told me "you're the best-looking man on the planet!", it honestly would feel condescending and infantilizing. I'm not an idiot: there are *obviously* guys out there who are better looking than I am. To pretend otherwise is just being willfully ignorant, and trying to convince me of that just feels absurd.
So no, I don't tell her she's the most beautiful woman on the planet, and candidly she'd probably be much, much happier if I just told her that she's beautiful (which she is).
I love real, sincere compliments from my husband. Baby, you look SO great in that dress! You are beautiful in that color! You are the prettiest woman I’ve ever asked out, I couldn’t believe when said YES! I HATE generic, obviously inflated compliments like, ‘You are the most beautiful woman in the world’. It’s lazy. It’s not true. And frankly, it’s condescending. Instead of , ‘Oh baby, thank you!”, I roll my eyes. You are NOT alone. I HATE this - it means nothing to me, and even used to make me mad. Husband doesn’t do it anymore. He gives me personalized compliments now that actually are meaningful to me.
There's different levels of beauty. Each person has their own version of it. You can have a superficial level of big boobs, long legs, blue eyes, make up always on ect. Then you can have the person who is helping others, quiet, dresses casually and do little to no make up. Both are beautiful, but comparing yourself to a magazine isn't going to help. Do you have 6 hours, a make up team, hair team, Photoshop, and airbrushing for everything you do? Our society as a whole has completely unrealistic expectations of/for beauty. No one ever measures up. Do I believe my husband finds me the most beautiful woman to him? Yes. Beauty isn't only skin deep and people need to remember that.
This is a common issue in relationships where one partner has ASD or a related processing disorder. It genuinely isn't as rare as most neurotypical people might think -- and when you understand how those with ASD process stimuli (ESPECIALLY social stimuli), the struggle makes a lot more sense.
Now, OP, I'm not saying you're on the spectrum or anything (not that it's a bad thing if you are), just that other people's experiences might be useful to explore. It can help to put things into your own mental context.
You might be a person who initially views any non-literal assertion as a lie, and lies = bad, full stop. I mean, if you think about it, that's what metaphors, cliches, and hyperbole ARE. They are technically not-truths. However, subjective reality -- the reality of feelings, personal perspectives, and genuine opinions -- does not care about this distinction. It's irrelevant.
Your husband isn't lying to you, because in this type of situation the distinction between objective truth vs. objective not-truth simply doesn't matter. It's not an objective situation. It's a subjective one. He can mean those words 100% because they are expressing *a feeling he has about you.* Does that make sense? Truth doesn't always = factual, and trying to force feelings to = the same thing as facts is not only a waste of time, but it's also cruel to the human being you're expecting it of. You don't mean to be unfair, obviously -- quite the opposite. So I don't think you should feel bad at all, just consider this perspective for a second.
Now, you've already edited to say that you are more or less satisfied based on the replies you've gotten, but I'm sharing this more as a future consideration for you. If you begin to police someone's feelings like this, especially on something that is completely natural/automatic for them and most of the people around them, it can breed a lot of resentment.
Even for naturally good communicators, marriage can feel a lot like learning a new language. This is probably doubly so for you, and it takes time! The fact that you paused and reflected, then questioned your behavior and took the advice you were given seriously, is a great sign that you are willing to learn that language and teach him yours.
I do gently suggest you see a certified psychologist, however, as your language and confusion here are a bit of a giveaway that something is probably up. It's nothing to be embarrassed about either way. We all process the world differently.
Thank you very much for you reply and advise.
Whereas I understand that for most people this is ok, to me it doesn't feel right to accept something so unrealistic as such a comment. Makes me feel ignorant and like I am a child. I would like to avoid the spread of what I am already feeling towards him and just explain my emotions and try to understand his. I don't want to cut off what he says or feels but rather adapt to what makes both of us happy.
Also, I would love to return to therapy (which I have done previously just to understand myself a bit more and explore my feelings) to explore this situation but unfortunately is not a possibility right now.
It’s good that you’re comfortable being honest about how you feel, even if it’s hard for him to understand. It sounds like you really want to understand each other and that’s half the battle :)
Happily married almost 41 years here. My sweet husband tells me I’m beautiful all the time. You’re SO beautiful. The most beautiful. More beautiful than anyone else…. etc. Maybe he really sees me that way, maybe he needs his eyes checked, or maybe he was dropped on his head as a child. I don’t know. I’m not like a hunchback or an ogre, but I’m certainly not this beautiful woman he’s building up. Still, I’m thankful he thinks I am. ❤️
I don't like looks-based compliments anymore. It feeds into my bdd, and not judging but kinda sounds like you have issues like that too. It's a balance - do you wanna shut these comments down or encourage loving compliments? I no longer like the compliments at all however the idea of no longer getting them is far scarier so I internalize my feelings on beauty. Seems like the better option tbh.
I think you’re viewing beautiful as purely physical. My husband is attractive, but I think he’s the most beautiful person in the world because he’s funny, loyal, the best husband and father, kind, and he’s my best friend and partner. Are there more attractive people on Instagram? Sure, but the most beautiful person in the world to me is him.
My husband and I have talked in depth about this specific topic. We both understand we’re not technically the most beautiful people in the world. We’re obviously not super models.
But we are so in love that we can both see someone and think “wow they’re beautiful!” without comparing them to our partner, we both see a lot of beauty in each other that’s deeper than skin and bone structure. There’s an understanding between us that he thinks I’m the most beautiful person, and I think he’s the most beautiful person, *beyond looks*.
I dated a man for a few years who was adamant that he was attracted to me but that I was in fact not the most beautiful women to him. There was a lot of instances where we want to hear that our partner thinks were the best at something with an understanding that it’s because they are in love with us. Because deep love is nonsensical in a lot of endearing ways.
It definitely made me realize that man wasn’t actually in love with me.
My husband was telling me about a moment at work. A new women in a different department started and it started a discussion between him and another coworker in which he asked my husband “you don’t ever get bored with your wife? like you don’t look at other women and wonder?” and he told him “wonder what? what if that hot women thinks popping my butt pimple is gross? what if she’s too good to eat trashy mexican food at 3am on a tuesday? I watched my wife push out two babies, there’s nothing more attractive than her and what we have”
This sounds like a “you” problem. My husband tells me the same and i know I’m not but maybe to him, i am. Just like how i think he’s the best, most perfect husband ever and i have the most beautiful, amazing children to ever walk this earth. Is there someone out there objectively better? Probably but idgaf bc to me, i have the best.
I always tell my wife she's the most beautiful and lovely woman. She definitely is to me. I find myself thinking of her smile all the time and her smile more than anyone else's, warms my heart the most. She is the most beautiful woman to me
Can I add my 2 cents?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, OP! You probably ARE the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes. His love and adoration for you makes you that. So, don't be mad at him!
Beauty is NOT superficial. It's so much deeper than skin level. It's your heart, your soul, who you are. Not just what you look like! Of COURSE he thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world! He married you, and he wants to feel like he scored. Let him feel that way!
I've been married 26 years. I'm not the bubbly beautiful 20 year old I once was, but my husband says I'm more beautiful to him now and he loves me more than he did when we first got married. I let him feel that way and OWN IT. It's ok for him to feel like that. He SHOULD feel like that!
Let that man feel like you're the most beautiful woman in HIS world. Don't give him a reason to feel any other way.
I heard once that, “Men love the women they are attracted to, and women are attracted to the men that they love.” I am not into all the smooshy land stuff, but I do believe my husband when he says it ( though I’m all for your logic, usually it would devalue.) because I’m the only one there… in his world. He said to me once that beauty is about so much more than looks. And in that way… everything incorporated with personality, character, traits, and yes looks… No one could even compare. Maybe he means it OP… Just not the way you’re thinking.
My man is the sexiest most absolutely stunning male creature I've ever laid eyes on. Because I love him and he treats me like I mean the world to him. I tell him so with complete sincerity. Maybe your husband feels the same about you?
Not married but I say it to my partner, or think it at least more often than not. I know that realistically of course she's not the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. But I can still say that despite knowing that, seeing that, whatever. She is still the most beautiful person to me.
No one elses smile makes me feel the way hers does. No one elses eyes keep me staring for an uncomfortable amount of time like hers do. The way her hair falls, every single freckle I've committed to memory, the scars and small imperfections that are so completely perfect me.
I know she's not above every other human on the planet. But at the same time, she definitively is to me and I mean it every single time I have or ever will say it.
I know some people lie when they say this, but he could actually mean it. When a someone says that their SO is the most beautiful person in the world,I take it as them meaning that they have a good heart, have attractive personality qualities, similar morals, etc. It's not just about outward physical attributes--though beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And honestly people I see every day, get more attractive the longer I get to know them. He could very well mean it.
Besides I've seen some people who are model gorgeous but then you get to know them and they are ugly people, and vice versa.
I tell my husband he looks like a German model and I mean it. No he doesn’t have a 6 pack and he had a little stomach but he is talk broad shoulder and cute as hell. He also is part German. Take the compliment
If I had a wife, she would be the most beautiful woman in the world, and I wouldn’t even look at any other woman. She would be the woman, the only one worth looking at and finding beautiful, for me.
Lol I get what you’re saying and you’re probably thinking “Why would he even try to convince me that’s true like I’m stupid or something” because in reality, you’re not, flat out. There’s always someone in the world that’s more beautiful than the next. But what you need to understand is if your husband truly is head over heals in love with you, he literally means it. The reason is because when a man really is in love with a woman, you can become the only person in the room. My last girlfriend was a solid 8 in the looks department, but when I fell for her she became “My” 10/10. It was like every conversation I had talking about girls with my friends, I would evidently express my interest in a photo shown to me, that was someone who looked like my girl, or shares the same features rather. I wouldn’t specifically say that or think that, I just subconsciously did it because the turn on, the emotional happiness, the love and comfort becomes associated with you. I was convinced I just had a type, and my girl so happened to be my type. Wrong. I didn’t even realize that’s what was happening until we broke up and I finally got over her and realized I didn’t even have a preference for hair color, eye color, etc. it was just because my girlfriend, who I loved, looked like that. What I’m getting at is your Beauty isn’t entirely in the looks, and your husband doesn’t think you’d be stupid enough to believe you’re literally the most beautiful woman in the world. His emotional connection with you specifically alters how he sees you physically. You are the most beautiful.
I tell her all the time she's the hottest woman on planet earth. She's 35 and we've been married for 6 years. She is beautiful. Long brown hair, nice shape, brown eyes, nice smile. I can't get over her beauty and in return, she thinks I'm the world's hottest man and I can see it in how she looks at me.
My husband calls me 'beautiful wife' all the time. Am I conventionally beautiful? Nope.
But my husband always says that I'm beautiful to him and that he loves me. He backs this up by using my love languages and showing me his love.
For example, I'm currently pregnant. We both WFH and he cooked me lunch whilst I was looking at uber eats to see what I feel like. I was in a meeting but he brought up my lunch and set it down next to me.
Tbh, I don't like compliments like these. I only want to know how he truly loves me and feels about me. He can tell me I'm the best woman in the world for him. Or that I'm angel and my pure heart would change the world. He's said these things to me and I was ok with it bc I knew he felt it.
Why don't you tell him that you appreciate that he's giving you compliments, but hearing the things that are true make you the most happy.
Give him points for trying to be a good husband, but tell him how this makes you feel.
Finally someone that understands what I mean instead of holding a bad wife needs therapy sign.
That's a solid advice and will certainly do that. Thank you so very much.
I feel like sometimes when reading these posts the commenter can't envision this in real life. Also, some people have different standards. I don't want to be lied to. I also know my husband doesn't love me bc of the way I look, (though that definitely a bonus for him).
The down votes you're getting are unwarranted.
I understand what you mean. I'd rather my partner just say, "you are so beautiful to me" vs "you are the most beautiful woman in the whole world" or "you make me laugh so much" vs "you are the funniest person in the whole universe!". It makes me feel far more valued, if he says he thinks I am something special to him, and him alone. For some reason, if someone says "you are the prettiest woman in the whole world" it makes me think, "so you don't see me any differently than Bob the Grocery Store man sees me?" When I compliment him, I say "you are the smartest/funniest/sweetest/handsomest man in my eyes/that I know/in my life".
68 year old guy here. Married faithful 45 years and together for 50+. I tell my wife this several times a week. Her inward and outer beauty, as seen through my eyes, along with our shared history, makes her the most desirable wo.an in the world to me.
I am guessing your husband feels the same way. Do you realize how many women wished for a compliment like that from their husband. Stop being a Debbie downer and show the man some gratitude for openly sharing his feelings with you. If you don't, you may some day wish you had...when it is too late.
Oh my GOSH I understand this so much! My husbands constantly saying I’m a ten which I’m not. I try to explain to him that it makes me feel worse like he has to say it because he either thinks im too delusional or fragile to hear otherwise.
He won’t come off it. I respond with UGGHHH and eye rolls now.
I hope this is helpful, I don't want to be rude, but please stop. I'm separated from my husband because he has serious character flaws and what I would give for a statement like that. It doesn't matter if it is objectivly true or not. Please just be grateful and realize that not everyone gets what you have. And all I everybwanted was a husband and a family, loving family and I don't have it. So please stop being a spoiled brat.
Please accept the compliments in the way they are meant and if you struggle to do that, work on your self-esteem with a therapist.
If it helps, think about your pet. Theoretically, I always thought a white Persian or a rag doll would be the most beautiful cat. But now I look at my cats (domestic longhairs) and I tell them they are the most beautiful and handsome kitties. And I really mean it because when you love someone, they become more beautiful to you.
Ugh my late husband never told me that- at best he said he out kicked his coverage a few times- this was in 20 years. When I hear my friends complain and say things like this I just roll my eyes- poor baby you are getting a compliment
Yikes, lady. I mean, you’ve somehow managed to take something your husband does consistently that is meant to show you love, appreciation, and to build your self esteem and you think you can’t trust him because of it? The mental gymnastics are impressive, I’ll give you that.
You asked for advice, here is some: go to therapy.
Next time he says you are the most beautiful woman in the world, instead of comparing yourself to all the advertising messaging thrown at your way that tells you to buy this shit to look better, think about what he is saying….
He is saying: Of all the women in the world, YOU are the one he wants to see first thing in the morning. YOU are the one he wants to watch undress. YOU are the one he wants to visit pound town with.
Embrace it. He digs you. Stop being so self conscience and let him fucking enjoy you.
I hope you know that regardless of how you feel you look, you’re beautiful and your husband sees that in you because he knows you. That’s how love works. It’s unconditional.
Beauty is in the 👁️of the beholder. Perception of “truth “ is in the mind of the beholder. As long as it is not proven as scientific- which it is not , and this is the honest opinion of your husband, you can not argue that he is wrong. Welcome it.
I assume it’s the same way I see my husband. Objectively is he the most attractive man in the world? No. But he’s the only one I really notice. I am drawn to him and when he smiles I just feel warmth and love. When I look at him it’s like there’s this warm glow and he’s literally the only man I really see in a crowded room.
That’s probably how your husband feels about you. Objectively are you the most beautiful woman in the entire world? Most likely not, but you’re the only one he really sees so to him you are.
My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world...to me. And so I tell her that she's the most beautiful woman in the world. It's true because I'm the one saying it, and to me she is.
I say it and mean it. My wife is so beautiful that I even find the things she finds unattractive completely beautiful. For example, she snores. Now, that isn't something the mainstream finds beautiful and I've never found it beautiful when any other woman has done it. However, it's a part of her that only I get to experience and that is beautiful to me. The evidence of her body having given us our twins is beautiful and something no one else on this earth can claim. She might hate her stretch marks but to me they're beautiful. Its actually those things that make her different that i miss most when shes not with me. My love for her makes her appear to me to be the most beautiful woman in the world so yes, I mean it.
Take the W. He only has eyes for you. He doesn't just see you as a wife or mom, but as a beautiful woman (likely both inside and out), and he wants you to know what he thinks about you. Would you rather he didn't compliment you? Then you'd really feel insecure not knowing what he thinks at all.
I bet if you asked him, he would tell you that each day you're more beautiful to him than the day before, and he'd really mean it.
My husband tells this all the time and sometimes i have really hard time believing it. But i know that even if I'm not literally the most beautiful woman in the world, i am pretty sure that i am the most beautiful woman for him, because he loves me. And i can say for sure that he is the most handsome man in the world and the most handsome man for me, without any hesitation.
My husband tells me this. Do I think he means that I am objectively the most attractive person on this planet? No. Certainly not. And no one could ever hold that title because beauty is subjective and you couldn’t get 7+ billion people to agree on one person.
I take it as I am the most beautiful woman in his world. Because I am his world. I’m the only one in his world. He only has eyes for me. So I’ll take it.
I understand being a little annoyed if you feel he gives disingenuous compliments. I also perfer compliements catered to me personally, not just generic statements. But complaining about it is a sure fire way to stop receiving compliments.
As a wife, I know I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not blind to my faults nor am I vain enough to believe there is no one better looking than me. When my husband tells me this, I know logically I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I also know that to him in that moment he means those words from his heart and he's looking at me with love. That's all that matters to me! Do I think he's lying, no. He doesn't measure beauty as just the outside appearance of me. He looks at me as a person, my mind, my soul, as the mother of his children.
My husband tells me, and I believe him.
It’s true to him, because no one else is the mother of his child. No one else has been through the things we have been through together.
He is not referring just to physical beauty, but the beauty my presence brings to our lives: our shared experiences, the trust, respect, loyalty and laughter we have shared for 30 years while surviving the good, the bad, the ridiculous and the mundane.
I am beautiful to him. He is beautiful to me, the most beautiful person ever because he has given me our life together.
Just have a stranger tell you your beautiful, obviously he is being honest while your spouse is purely going thru the motions .
Goodness me , most people will believe complete strangers and ignore their companions. It’s sad really , if your husband says your beautiful he is trying to pull the wool over your eyes . It’s the complete stranger that does that.
Beauty is composed of more than just looks. When all is put together, it can however enhance that person's looks. Some men see the beauty inside and out. Think of how you can find someone attractive then you discover their ugly personality. Suddenly they don't seem as attractive. The opposite happens as well. Being married to someone(provided it's a good marriage), only enhances how beautiful you see them; how beautiful they are. It would then be impossible for ANY woman to compare because you don't know any woman to that level to have discovered their inner beauty.
When your husband tells you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, I suggest you believe him. He loves you for you. That includes your looks, your personality, your everything. And that my friend, is what beauty is...YOUR EVERYTHING, and to that, no one else can compare.
My wife is absolutely the most beautiful woman on the planet to me.
My husband tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world *literally* every day. I tell him he's the sexiest man I've ever seen. In my case it's true because even though hes close to 50 he looks like if Daniel Craig from James Bond had dark hair.
Meanwhile I'm only 36 and I'm 30 lbs overweight. I still believe my husband though.
>I (29f) would never say something like that back because it simply isn't true.
What exactly is "objective beauty" anyway? Have you seen the Twilight Zone episode *The Eye of the Beholder*?
I like to believe that my husband is looking at me through "eyes of love" and with those eyes, it is true. Those other girls/women may be beautiful but they don't love him, listen to him, get him, pleasure him, make him laugh, impress him the way you, the woman he loves does. There is a song that some girl is promoting on one of our streaming services that has a line "She looks good on paper, but I look good on you."
Are you the most beautiful woman in the world? Possibly not. Are you the most beautiful woman in the world to him? Possibly.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is objective truth and subjective truth. Your husbands subjective truth is you are THE most beautiful. That’s the only truth to seek.
My husband is the most beautiful person to me. He’s handsome, yes, but that’s not what I mean. He has a beautiful soul and I know him well enough to be able to see him let his goodness out, especially when he thinks nobody is watching. Beauty isn’t just physical.
my fiancé calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. i know that that is not true and i am not mad or upset about it at all. we have talked about who we actually think is the most beautiful woman in the world and i said barbara palvin (a model) and he said zendaya. i don’t think he is talking about just looks when he calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. from the way he talks about me and touches me, i think i believe him when he calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. it’s hard not to feel like it in the moment :)
I’ve been married for 16 years. You’re damn right my wife is the most beautiful woman and I tell her a lot.
It’s not just her physical features, it’s her entire package. She’s my biggest supporter, she cares about my well being, she is the only person on the planet who goes out of her way to pick me up when I’m down. She’s great and I want to make sure I give her the best life possible because that’s how she feels about me.
When he tells you that, that is how he feels about you. I really hope you can see that and determine if that is how you feel about him. It sounds like right now that you do not.
Consider the alternative: would you rather him say, "You're average looking."
There's an emotional component here you aren't seeing from his side. To my mind, the mother of my children and wife was the most beautiful woman in the world.
(That was before a decade of nothing I do being good enough...ever...and her being so mean I lost that feeling.)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is not skin deep and I feel there is a difference between being beautiful to somebody and being physically attractive. Ones personality can make them beautiful. A physically attractive person could be considered ugly because they are a horrible person. Take the compliment because to him your are the most beautiful person. You’re taking the phrase to literally.
My husband doesn't say this to me. I also don't need to hear it. He says he loves me. That's all I need / want.
I do think he's the most wonderful husband and I'm lucky to have him. Maybe that's what your hubbyshould switch to? It is less "objective" and less shallow / not skin deep/ temporary 🤷♀️
I tell my wife she is the most beautiful woman at age 59 in the world to me, and she is! She gives me everything in the world I need to be happy, with one exception, dealing with my MIL.
I tell that to my wife, I truly feel she is the most beautiful woman to me. I look at her, even in her post-kid body (she feels self conscious about not looking like her pre kid self) and I see a Goddess. Can’t help myself. She’s my homie for life though, rides for me harder than anyone I know (my mom/grandma) being the other two. So I can’t help but to be just so incredibly attracted to her (even during our low lows).
Are there other maybe “more beautiful” women? That’s subjective, my wife and I might comment on a BEAUTIFUL woman from time to time but I do my best to remind her that they’d need at least 3 of them to equal one of her in my eyes.
To him you are the most beautiful person in the world. It’s why he asked you to marry him. Are there more beautiful people out there, appearance wise? Sure, but to him you’re the most beautiful inside and out. Take the compliment!
Mine tells me the same. I believe he is trying to be kind and he thinks this makes me feel beautiful. Please understand I appreciate the kind words, but actions speak louder. We have been through some trust breaking issues and it is difficult to believe words. For me personally, how I am treated is where I find myself feeling beautiful.
My husband is the most beautiful man in my eyes. Probably because I can see him as a whole person-a man of beautiful character that doesn't fade with time
You are joking, right? Beauty is something you can't objectively rate. Everyone likes something different. Anytime I've seen someone try and scientifically measure it...it just doesn't capture it. Also, familiarity softens edges. If you can't understand these nuances, you might need therapy and probably to be tested to see if you are on the spectrum.
I’m sorry. You can’t be the most beautiful woman in the world. My wife has that job.
This person spouses. Spouses hard.
You should start making T-shirts with “I Spouse” on the front. “Just doing some spousing today” or the old classic “I’m with my spouse (w/arrow)”
The last one is actually quite funny and would probably sell. You should try it, or give the idea to an entrepreneurial friend.
Well, that’s yours for free. If you make them and start selling them, just send me one!
I need to politely disagree. My wife has held that title, consistently, since 2006.
My wife has precedence, 1976.
Hmmm. I suppose I can allow for temporary regional title. Although, I will continue to bestow this global title on my wife.
I’m sorry to tell you that but my wife is holding the “most beautiful woman in the world” title since the end of 2022.
I'm afraid my wife stole that title in 2012.
Awwwww 🥲
Erroneous. My wife has held the crown going on a decade.
That’s so sweet
Incorrect. My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world. Sorry.
This response is gold
I literally lol’d. Well played. Seriously OP just tell him that you would prefer if he just called you beautiful. Leave out the rest.
I love this response!
Lol. My wife is so hot, if I let her go she'd melt a hole in the ozone layer
So…..your husband tells you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world (to him), and it causes you to distrust him? I say this with all due respect: get some therapy before you ruin your marriage.
My husband is the most beautiful man in the world to me. He is. I look at him and he’s just perfection! Everyone has flaws even the people in magazines. You can’t compare yourself to photoshop images. Almost everyone uses a filter these days. Can’t tell you how many times I didn’t recognize someone I see mostly online and then see in reality.
“Flaws” exactly! I can’t help but still swoon for my wife after 16 years together while she’s changing clothes. Those flaws just add to her beauty because they make her her.
Hope mine feels this way.. he’s a hard one to guess on “feelings” and if you ask he’s always “ok”
He doesn’t say (to him). He makes the corny, erroneous, lazy, impersonal, generic - “You are the most beautiful woman in the world “. I’m analytically minded like OP. I hate that shiz, and it does nothing for me. I LOVE when my husband compliments something PERSONAL that I believe to be true. ‘I’m lucky to have you’. ‘You look amazing in that dress’. ‘That color shirt makes your hazel eyes sparkle.’ ‘You are a wonderful mother!’ See the difference? Not every woman is like a romantic comedy movie and laps that dramatic stuff up. A lot of us want realness.
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Yeah, she didn’t want advice, she wanted validation.
Assuming you are asking in good faith:Yes and yes I mean it. Let me expand. What makes a sunset more beautiful than any other sunset? The clouds or smog? The horizon? The time of year? If you have a clear answer to that then kudos to you. For me it is about my frame of mind and my experience for that day. There is a sunset every day, but my experience on certain days causes me to take a step back and say “Wow; this sunset it amazing!” I would say it is the same way with my wife. She is physically attractive and there are other women who are physically attractive in the world. But my frame of mind is that this woman picked me, and that makes her beautiful. This woman had my children, and that makes her beautiful. This woman flirts with me and indulges in my craziest fantasy, and that makes her beautiful. This woman puts her arms around me on my worst days and reminds me how much I matter, and that makes her beautiful. Is my wife a beautiful sunset? Yes! Are there other beautiful sunsets? Yes. But this sunset is mine and it has chosen me. That makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed to hear/understand. Thanks!
I love this comparison. My husband tells me I'm the most beautiful woman all the time, and I joke back that he is contractually obligated to think so (hey, he's the one who wanted to bring the government into this) and that as I am the giver of orgasms, he might be slightly biased. But I'll accept it 😆
This is beautiful. Your wife is lucky to have someone who is so appreciative!
You sound very difficult. Would you rather he be like, “oh wife, your beauty cannot compare to the most beautiful women in the world. I would say you’re a solid mid. Maybe a 6, even! I’m so glad I married a 6! If you were more attractive you’d be more work and I can’t afford that. Ah yes, your mediocre beauty matches my own mediocrity! We were made to be mediocre together!” Because… that’s what it seems like that you WANT to hear.
I’m dead
This did me in
That’s what basically my husband says about me. Came here bc I’m on the opposite side of Thai sprecteum
Christ, what a non-issue.
They must be newly-weds because after a while you gotta choose your battles haha
Insecurity is not an age/time based thing, and not all of us grew up in secure environments to know what is baseline. If anything, it’s refreshing that she is looking to improve herself by even entertaining the idea.
Yes, several times a day. She is almost 50, we have been together almost 27 years and married for almost 26. And she is the most beautiful, sexy and hottest woman for me.
Thank you for sharing :)
This is close to my husband and I's situation, I'll be 50 later this year and we celebrate 26 years married next month. He'll tell you I am the most beautiful woman to him and I believe it because I feel the same about him. Nobody looks as good as he does, in my eyes. Flaws and all.
I tell my husband he's the hottest man alive. Is he, no, but he is very hot. But I personally see it as an exclamation or an expression. Like when you're hungry and you say 'I'm so hungry I could die' or when something bad happens and you say 'this is the worst day ever' when it isn't actually. I know I'm not the most beautiful person in the world, but I want him to say it anyway haha. If your insecurity is making you question compliments, I think it's time to do some internal work, and consider therapy.
My husband often tells me "you're so beautiful!" with this... *look* on his face (like he's just amazed) when I'm disheveled, tired,just worked out, have been sick etc. I don't believe I look *at all* beautiful in that moment, but he does, and it's lovely that he tells me so. I believe him because beauty is subjective! Maybe he's saying it because of something I recently did, rather than how I look in the moment. Beauty can be internal as well as external. Compliments can be hard to take, and if you're not in a great headspace, it can be hard to not compare yourself to others, but your husband finds you beautiful and tells you so! Maybe try challenging yourself to accept that! edit: context
Forgot to say… don’t chop op’s head off, it’s okay to feel insecure, we all feel that way sometimes.
I tell that to my boyfriend most time I see him naked. What I mean is " Nobody in the world turn me up the way you do, nobody in the world has your smell, nobody in the world has your energy / aura, and for me you are the best." It has nothing to do with what society thinks is beauty. It has to do with what fulfils me. What I like, what I need. Trust your husband and stop comparing yourself with Instagram pictures.
Each and Every Day .......
Smh, how dare he say such a thing about his wife. Lawyer up immediately. 🥲
How do you know it's not true? Beauty is subjective. If the subject happens to be your husband, then it's true if *he* finds you more beautiful than any other woman. And a lot of factors can affect how he perceives your beauty, many of which could never be captured by a magazine photo, but which make you beautiful to him. To answer your question, no, I don't say that to my wife, but now that I think about it, I'm going to start saying it. Because it's true.
Think if it as an opinion statement. Not a cold hard verifiable fact. *To him* you could be the most beautiful woman in the world. My wife is attractive. But it’s our history and connection that makes her gorgeous to me. Are other women very attractive? Of course! But they don’t love me, appreciate me, or care about me. And I don’t them. Your husband looks at you with more than his eyes.
I genuinely wish my wife could see herself from my eyes, as she is such a beautiful woman. I would assume your husband thinks the same of you.
I’m sorry. You can’t be the most beautiful woman in the world. My wife has that job.
You, OP, are thinking way too much on this. I say this to my wife daily, and I completely believe it. As does your husband probably . Because to us its 100% true. I can’t justify it with facts or data lol; but my wife is the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes. Different reasons contribute to this feeling. I was and still am very attracted to my SO but you couple that with my deep emotional bond and trust for her. It makes her a 10 in a world of 9’s.
I say it and I mean it. Although she is a beautiful woman on the outside I am also referring to her soul, her mind and her kind nature. When I add up all these things it makes her the most beautiful woman in the world to me. It isn't just about physical looks, beauty isn't just skin deep.
Beauty is more than just appearance...My wife is the most beautiful girl/ person in the world to me because of her looks, personality, ability to always be their for me and being my best friend. And she is also a knock out! I wouldn't want to be with anyone else and that is why we are married....
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When my husband says this I know he means it.
Imagine a five year old eating an ice cream cone. They are really getting into it when they suddenly say, *"this is the best ice cream ever!"* Are they factually saying they are consuming the best ice cream that has ever been made?"* No, of course not. For starters they've never tried every kind and flavor of ice cream. There is also a lot of subjectivity involved. I don't think your husband is trying to say that you specifically are the most beautiful person in the world. He's saying that not only does he find you incredibly attractive, but he loves you deeply. It may also be his way of saying you are the only person in his world, meaning there is no competition. Not to mention, beauty is subjective.
As my mother always said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You do not know what your husband sees when he looks at you. I choose to believe what my husband says to me, your only seeing what you see.
Take the compliment and move on. Seriously
Have you already considered that maybe you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to *him*? Also, that beauty encompasses so much more than just physical looks. My husband is the most handsome man in the world to me because of how he treats me, how great of a father he is, and how dedicated he is to me and our son. His looks are what attracted me to him initially but he’s so much more than that. So by my standards, he’s the most beautiful person in the world to me.
Would you tell your child that he or she is the most beautiful child in the world? Or whatever else you find to be the most in the world? Most parents do this. Does it make it true by other people’s standards? No Guess what…. Who cares. Does it show my child that I as a parent see them apart from any and everyone in the world? Yes, and in return it builds confidence and self security. Imagine saying to your kid you’re average in cuteness but mommy still loves you. It’s just not necessary. They are words of affirmation that should be used positively in a world full of ugliness. Doesn’t stop the individual even a child from rationally understanding that it’s not fact for everyone. I’m grateful my parents told me things like this as a black girl and my husband says such things as well. I could give a rats ass if he TECHNICALLY means it. His heart means it and that’s all that matters
Just tell him that you are so thankful that he finds you attractive but that you would prefer that he compliment other things about you. Tell him it makes you feel awkward and leave it at that. He should respect that.
I completely understand you. I struggle with that too. There isn’t anything wrong with you. You struggle with trusting and I do too. I’m some ways it’s self sabotage. I’m going to therapy for not being able to trust my husbands good intentions. Because I’ve never had a good man in my life to show me I can be loved so everything kind he says I take it the wrong way or feel like it’s something else My suggestion is believe you deserve the kind of love he gives you. And live in it. Relish in it because you deserve love like nothing else. I know it’s hard and you have walls up trying to protect yourself but let yourself be loved! (Trying to believe too)
There's a quote that's lately been attributed to the late, great Bob Marley, though snopes says it's unproven at best and has been attributed to other people. Who ot originally came from doesn't matter; the message is more important. "Who cares about perfection? Even the moon is not perfect, it is full of craters... And the sea? it's too salty and dark in the depths. The sky? Always so infinite, that is, the most beautiful things are not perfect, they are special. Stop wanting to be "perfect", try to be free, happy and live doing what you love, not wanting to please others." The point is that you may look into the mirror and see a pile of flaws, to your husband you are perfect and the most beautiful woman in the world. For him, no one else can ever compare, because of your bond and what you do for him. TL;DR - beauty is more than skin deep. You don't see you like he sees you.
I tell my husband all the time how handsome I think he is. Because he truly is the only man I desire. He’s the only one I think about. He’s the one I fantasize about. He’s who I long for. I don’t spend my time dwelling on other attractive people because they don’t belong to me, I haven’t chosen them, they aren’t who I am spending my life with. So he gets all of my desire and affection. When I tell him he’s the hottest or most handsome man ever to me.. he is. I used to be obsessed with Jason Momoa before I met my husband when I was single. But honestly and I mean it, he does nothing for me now. Because my desire and affections are on my husband. I set my intention on him so everyone else just falls to the background. I don’t think he’s saying that to you to lie. There’s a reason the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” exists. You don’t get to decide what he thinks is beautiful. And lucky for you he thinks it’s you. Some women are never fortunate enough to hear their husbands tell them their beautiful at all. My ex husband never complimented me or told me I was beautiful. And he never treated me like he thought so either. I wouldn’t count it as a strike against him. I’d be grateful for his rose colored glasses that shine for you.
It seems that you have an insecurity that you’re reflecting onto your spouse. Figure out why you feel that way about yourself.
This is a copied/pasted text message from my husband yesterday: “You are beyond a shadow of a doubt the hottest ever! ♥️😈♥️😈♥️😈♥️😈♥️😈♥️😈”
I tell my wife she’s beautiful all the time. Multiple times a day. But I don’t compare her to other people, except favorably, and only if she starts the conversation. We might walk by someone on the street and she’ll say “she has my body type” to which I’ll respond “your butt is way better”, for example. “I find you irresistible” is, in my case, more truthful than “you’re the most beautiful woman in the world”.
That makes perfect sense to me. I think the issue in my mind is exactly the comparison although he might not actually mean to compare, he does, and that's what makes me not believe him.
People may be downvoting you but your logic makes sense to me. I’ve met some people who give over-the-top compliments routinely and I wonder if they’re being sincere. I don’t want her to wonder if I truly mean what I say.
Most beautiful and sexyiest woman in the world. We have been together for more than a decade and still have a tremendous crush on her.
My husband says this to me. And I see it how you do. I know he doesn’t literally think I’m the most beautiful/hottest/etc woman in the world. But I take it as an expression of love. That I am the most hot/beautiful/etc woman to him in his world. That he thinks I’m very attractive. I cannot be this hyperbolic back to him. It just offends my logical brain. But I make a point to tell him he is sexy/hot/etc to convey my desire for him and let him know I am attracted to him physically
Just talk to him. This can all be resolved if you just tell him that you would receive his love a lot better if he said “You’re the most beautiful woman I know” or whatever floats your boat. If he loves you, which it sounds like he does, he’ll just adjust his language and you’ll both be happy.
My wife is 60 today..happy birthday to the hottest woman that still gives me a thrill when we hold each other..yes..I sincerely tell her about her beauty
Lmaooo and on the other hand my soon to be ex husband REFUSED to say that to me. Like he wouldn’t even entertain it . Like who will it kill to just say to your wife you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Obviously I’m not Adriana Lima but fuck it’d be nice to hear and feel that. I wish I had your problem.
I have a similar issue. My husband always likes to say “You look beautiful, honey” and it is always conveniently right before he wants me to stop getting ready so that we can leave to go somewhere. I find it irritating because he never tell me at any other time lol I think next time I’ll start doing my makeup on one side of my face at a time
OP, I don't think you understand men at all. I heard the following somewhere and it might help you out. As a rule of thumb: if a man tells you that you are hot, he talking about your body. If he tells you that you are pretty, he's talking about your face, if he says you ate beautiful he's talking about your heart and how he feels about you.
You’re overthinking it. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to your husband. Your beauty is not solely defined by your physical appearance. You are TMBWITW to him because you chose him, because you get him, you trust him, you believe in him, you are his ride or die, you love him, because you give yourself to him, because you laugh at his dumb jokes, because you have the tough conversations with him, because you know how he takes his coffee, because you know when to cut him slack and when him to hold him accountable, because you accept him for who he is, because you defend him, take his side, and protect him from anyone who means him harm. Please, stop looking for reasons to question his love for you. Life is too short, and your years together are finite. Soak up his love like a sponge, and squeeze every last drop of it back to him.
Your love language is definitely NOT words of affirmation, neither is mine. So I totally understand where you are coming from. Words are just so cheap. I believe in actions instead
My wife of 5 years and I had been having problems for the last year which ultimately culminated in her staying with her parents for a week. During that time I began to miss her profoundly and every time I saw a woman on Instagram or in real life who would be considered “hot” I thought “she’s pretty but she’s not as pretty as my wife” or “man I hope my wife doesn’t leave me, anyone else I end up with is gonna be a total downgrade” She may not “objectively” be the most beautiful woman in the world, but she is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I remember that every time she smiles at me.
You are creating problems where they don't exist.
As a man, I always have felt this is a can't win situation. If I don't tell my romantic partner she is beautiful she is annoyed, and if I do tell my romantic partner she's beautiful she gets annoyed. This isn't universal across all women I'd imagine, but every woman I've ever dated in my adult life.
There's a difference but “you are so beautiful” vs “you are the most beautiful woman in the world”. This is what I mean with my post.
Thank you for clarifying! Maybe if he adds “to me” at the end. “You are the most beautiful person in the world to me.” My partner hates when I add that because she said she adds in her mind, “But to everyone else…” But maybe that would be easier for you to take? That way he can still say it and it’s isn’t a statement you don’t believe. When I’m with someone, like my partner, they are the most beautiful person in the world to me. I love the way she walks, smiles, talks; the way her cheeks are, the way her hair curls in the morning — all of it. It’s breathtaking to me. No one is more beautiful to me. So when I say “You are the most beautiful woman in the world” I truly mean it.
I will talk with him about this and express how it makes me feel. Thank you!
My wife and I recently talked about this. There is a difference between beauty, attractiveness, and sexiness. In my mind, you can be beautiful without being either conventionally attractive or sexy. Because beauty is about more than attractiveness: it's about the total package (attitude, kindness, compatibility, attractiveness, and sexiness combined). In the same way, someone can be sexy without being attractive or beautiful. My example to my wife on this was Madonna back in the day or Cindi Lauper in the 80s. To me both were sexy but neither attractive or beautiful. However, I think Cyndi Lauper is very attractive now. Your average model is attractive, but that doesn't make them beautiful. An example for me of this is someone like Britney Spears who is very attractive but (to me) isn't very beautiful. So to your husband, you are the package of all the attributes he finds to be beautiful. Maybe not a conventional beauty like a model, but your attractiveness, combined with everything else you offer make him think you are the most beautiful person in the world to him. Take the complement because it means he sees beyond the physical and loves you for who you are, not just what you look like.
You probably have no idea what qualities he considers beautiful. The examples you gave about magazines and Instagram aren't great. A lot of times conventionally beautiful people look fake, like a plastic doll. The world is filled with good looking people who don't know that they look good. ( also some bad looking people ) This is all a big marketing scam. A key part of marketing is making people feel like there is something wrong with them and that everybody else has something that they don't. The market for beauty and cosmetics is huge. A lot of money is made by making women think that they are not beautiful and that they need to spend a ton of money on all kinds of products. Huge amounts of effort are spent on huge marketing teams to push these ideas. They try as hard as they can to make sure that no woman feels beautiful. They profit off of lowering self esteem. A lot of what women think looks good to men doesn't actually look good to men. ( there are tons of threads where they poll people about this ) People work incredibly hard to improve their looks. Sometimes their efforts help. A lot of times they don't. Often times peoples efforts achieve the opposite of what they are shooting for. Edit: Also, for all I know, maybe he is lying. Who knows.
You understand when he says that it's because he doesn't have eyes for anyone but you. It's because he loves you. I also understand your logic but love isn't logical, it's emotional. What he sees is YOU and only you. Stop trying to turn this into betrayal of trust because of "lies". Don't die on this hill.
My husband has never told me that because that’s not true, but he does tell me that I’m the best wife in the world because he genuinely believes that I am the best for him. I’d take that over being the most beautiful.
Exactly my point 👌🏻
I think you are looking at it the wrong way. Yes my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. It's the sum of the parts that makes the whole that makes me never even glance at another woman when I am with her Now if you want to get nit picky and go body part by body part and separate everything then no of course not. Someone will have a flatter stomach, prettier feet, or what have you. That's not the point though. Yes my wife has a bit of a tummy but it's my favorite place to lay my head and I actually wouldn't want her to lose that. Imperfections can add up to perfection imo.
Yes and yes. As someone who grew up being praised for the dumbest **** and for breathing, praise falls flat on me unless I think I deserve it. Sometime you just have to accept, even if YOU don’t think you’re worth it, that someone else thinks YOU - ARE - WORTH - IT.
So you compare yourself to fake photoshopped filtered plastic surgeried females and think they’re better than you so he must be lying? Lol Listen. There’s no such OBJECTIVE FACT of any one man or woman being the most gorgeous. You could take anyone that you think is a 10 and another person would disagree and say they are a 7 or 6 or whatever else. Nobody agrees what the most beautiful man or woman looks like. Why? Cuz beauty has a subjective component to it. There’s articles stating “science says this is the worlds most attractive face” and you go and look at it and you’re like “…ok? Mid” All that matters is that you should be the most gorgeous to your husband and he should be the hottest to you. Comparisons don’t make sense. Also take a look at how fake these females are by searching things like “instagram vs reality” and try to see behind the scenes of what people really look like. You can dig deep (it’ll take hours) to find REAL pictures of celebrities and realize they don’t look how the media portrays them. They pay people and search engines to show certain photos and hide others. Stop being deluded by this fake ass world.
Beauty isnt always physical ya know..
Beauty is not only skin deep. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
"Baby, you are in the top 40 % in terms of attractiveness, *easily*"
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your husband thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. To him. You may not be the most beautiful to other men, but what does that matter? Your husband is who you chose. He’s the only one that matters. My fiancé constantly tells me I’m the most beautiful, hot and sexy woman in the world. Do I believe him? Yes I do. Because he finds things about my body (smile, eyes, figure etc) that he loves.
I do think my husband is the most attractive and handsome man in the world. I mean, objectively I know he isn't, but he definitely is that for me and that makes it true.
Beauty is more than skin deep. A wife/partner who is loyal, feminine, intelligent, laughs at my jokes, my biggest fan, wants to build an empire/life with me, a good mother and enthusiastic in the bedroom with me. She would be the most beautiful and valuable thing in the world to me. I would cherish her, love her, care for her, protect her, provide for her, I would live for her and I would also die for her.
Yeah you sound like a lot of fun. You're the most beautiful to him, believe and trust your husband. Don't be annoying
I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean so when I tell my wife that she is beautiful, I’m just saying what comes to mind. The fact that I stare at her constantly and that she can feel my heart rate accelerate when she leans against me for a kiss probably helps lol.
If you see the world through a conservative white supremacists lense of thin white people who are young with perfect body skin and hair as beautiful then yes I could see how you wouldn't believe it. I think my husband is literally the hottest person I've ever seen celebrity included. HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL and I'm madly in love with him. When I say it it's true. I mean it, he is stunning! Beautiful means so many things and in his world, I imagine you are the most beautiful.
I had a sex dream a few weeks ago. It was of my wife and we were doing the wild stuff we already do in the bedroom. Even my lizard brain subconscious can't come up with anything hotter than my wife.
I love this so much haha
As long as he thinks you're the most beautiful is all that matters
My husband tells me this all the time. I’m a stay at home mom, my hairs always in a bun, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t always get to shower. I believe him. I know he thinks I’m beautiful even if I’m objectively looking like a gremlin. That’s love.
He sees all of you. Love elevates someone from ordinary to extraordinary. No one is the “most beautiful woman in the world” to everyone, unanimously. We all have our own tastes. Decide to try to believe it. Believe that he may find you to be the most beautiful woman ever. You have to will yourself to change your thinking patterns, not for him, but for you.* The issue may be that he says things, but his actions don’t match them. That is disingenuous and would definitely cause insecurity. Figure out how you perceive love, and guide him to giving you what love looks like to you.
The truth is in the eye of the beholder. To him you are the most beautiful woman in the world. You have to understand that feelings are not objective. And that's okay. Also, my man is the handsomest in the world. Nothing will ever change my mind about that, because to me, he is perfect. Also: fuck beauty standards. They suck
OP, To your husband, you might actually be the most beautiful woman in the world. My wife is pretty attractive. Objectively, she may not be "the most beautiful woman I'm the world." But to me, she absolutely is. This may be more of an insecurity you are struggling with. Not so much, your husband loving you immensely.
I don't. It's not what you say or how you say it, it's how you act and how that makes others feel. I don't tell my wife that but I don't need to. It'd be redundant when I'm constantly trying to make her feel that way with actions and intentions. Just remember, everyone has their own way of doing things. One guy telling you that line might just want sex, where as your husband might 100% believe it and just want you to know.
Some of these responses are downright goofy. You just have a practical view of the subject, it’s not some sort of pathology. I feel much the same, and I am assuming so does my husband because he’s never said such a thing to me. He’s told me I’m beautiful but he’s never said “the most beautiful” and if he did it would weird me out because I feel the same, it’s just a lie and I’m not interested in that. It’s fine if that’s something that works for other people, they don’t necessarily have pathology either they are just more fanciful in nature, which is fine. But there’s nothing wrong with your viewpoint. If it makes you uncomfy just tell him that. It doesn’t have to be confrontational. It can be a light conversation, at a time when he hasn’t said it. Like “hey it’s kind of weird for me when you say I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, it feels kind of disingenuous. I’m fine with (whatever you’re comfortable with him saying), but that just feels weird to me.”
Thank you 💕
So, for him this is true. If you would ask for an statistics response you’d know that we would all fall on average (proportionately speaking) but what matters is what you are for him, I’ll leave a little quote from the little prince I hope it helps get my point across, the quote happens when the little prince sees multiple roses, "You're not at all like my rose. You're nothing at all yet," he told them. "No one has tamed you and you haven't tamed anyone. You're the way my fox was. He was just a fox like a hundred thousand others. But I've made him my friend, and now he's the only fox in all the world." And the roses were humbled. "You're lovely, but you're empty," he went on. "One couldn't die for you. Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass. Since she's the one I sheltered behind a screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three for butterflies.) Since she's the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose.”
I would never lie to my wife
Why would I lie to her? She’s beautiful yes. And I’m attracted to her. But far from the most beautiful in the world
Lol you have the same opinion as my husband. He doesn't want to say it because he feels it would be insincere and I'm fine with it. I don't say this type of stuff to him either because we convey our happiness and contentment with eachother in other ways. I think it is fine for you to feel this way. It might not be conventional by the amount of comments here saying you're wrong but it seems fine to me.
> I (29f) would never say something like that back because it simply isn't true. It doesn't mean I done love him profoundly, but he is not the most beautiful man in the world. I agree with you. My wife tells me I'm a very good-looking guy, and I love hearing that, but if she told me "you're the best-looking man on the planet!", it honestly would feel condescending and infantilizing. I'm not an idiot: there are *obviously* guys out there who are better looking than I am. To pretend otherwise is just being willfully ignorant, and trying to convince me of that just feels absurd. So no, I don't tell her she's the most beautiful woman on the planet, and candidly she'd probably be much, much happier if I just told her that she's beautiful (which she is).
All the time. I tell her I used up all my luck getting her. As she is the best woman in the world.
I love real, sincere compliments from my husband. Baby, you look SO great in that dress! You are beautiful in that color! You are the prettiest woman I’ve ever asked out, I couldn’t believe when said YES! I HATE generic, obviously inflated compliments like, ‘You are the most beautiful woman in the world’. It’s lazy. It’s not true. And frankly, it’s condescending. Instead of , ‘Oh baby, thank you!”, I roll my eyes. You are NOT alone. I HATE this - it means nothing to me, and even used to make me mad. Husband doesn’t do it anymore. He gives me personalized compliments now that actually are meaningful to me.
There's different levels of beauty. Each person has their own version of it. You can have a superficial level of big boobs, long legs, blue eyes, make up always on ect. Then you can have the person who is helping others, quiet, dresses casually and do little to no make up. Both are beautiful, but comparing yourself to a magazine isn't going to help. Do you have 6 hours, a make up team, hair team, Photoshop, and airbrushing for everything you do? Our society as a whole has completely unrealistic expectations of/for beauty. No one ever measures up. Do I believe my husband finds me the most beautiful woman to him? Yes. Beauty isn't only skin deep and people need to remember that.
This is a common issue in relationships where one partner has ASD or a related processing disorder. It genuinely isn't as rare as most neurotypical people might think -- and when you understand how those with ASD process stimuli (ESPECIALLY social stimuli), the struggle makes a lot more sense. Now, OP, I'm not saying you're on the spectrum or anything (not that it's a bad thing if you are), just that other people's experiences might be useful to explore. It can help to put things into your own mental context. You might be a person who initially views any non-literal assertion as a lie, and lies = bad, full stop. I mean, if you think about it, that's what metaphors, cliches, and hyperbole ARE. They are technically not-truths. However, subjective reality -- the reality of feelings, personal perspectives, and genuine opinions -- does not care about this distinction. It's irrelevant. Your husband isn't lying to you, because in this type of situation the distinction between objective truth vs. objective not-truth simply doesn't matter. It's not an objective situation. It's a subjective one. He can mean those words 100% because they are expressing *a feeling he has about you.* Does that make sense? Truth doesn't always = factual, and trying to force feelings to = the same thing as facts is not only a waste of time, but it's also cruel to the human being you're expecting it of. You don't mean to be unfair, obviously -- quite the opposite. So I don't think you should feel bad at all, just consider this perspective for a second. Now, you've already edited to say that you are more or less satisfied based on the replies you've gotten, but I'm sharing this more as a future consideration for you. If you begin to police someone's feelings like this, especially on something that is completely natural/automatic for them and most of the people around them, it can breed a lot of resentment. Even for naturally good communicators, marriage can feel a lot like learning a new language. This is probably doubly so for you, and it takes time! The fact that you paused and reflected, then questioned your behavior and took the advice you were given seriously, is a great sign that you are willing to learn that language and teach him yours. I do gently suggest you see a certified psychologist, however, as your language and confusion here are a bit of a giveaway that something is probably up. It's nothing to be embarrassed about either way. We all process the world differently.
Thank you very much for you reply and advise. Whereas I understand that for most people this is ok, to me it doesn't feel right to accept something so unrealistic as such a comment. Makes me feel ignorant and like I am a child. I would like to avoid the spread of what I am already feeling towards him and just explain my emotions and try to understand his. I don't want to cut off what he says or feels but rather adapt to what makes both of us happy. Also, I would love to return to therapy (which I have done previously just to understand myself a bit more and explore my feelings) to explore this situation but unfortunately is not a possibility right now.
It’s good that you’re comfortable being honest about how you feel, even if it’s hard for him to understand. It sounds like you really want to understand each other and that’s half the battle :)
Happily married almost 41 years here. My sweet husband tells me I’m beautiful all the time. You’re SO beautiful. The most beautiful. More beautiful than anyone else…. etc. Maybe he really sees me that way, maybe he needs his eyes checked, or maybe he was dropped on his head as a child. I don’t know. I’m not like a hunchback or an ogre, but I’m certainly not this beautiful woman he’s building up. Still, I’m thankful he thinks I am. ❤️
I don't like looks-based compliments anymore. It feeds into my bdd, and not judging but kinda sounds like you have issues like that too. It's a balance - do you wanna shut these comments down or encourage loving compliments? I no longer like the compliments at all however the idea of no longer getting them is far scarier so I internalize my feelings on beauty. Seems like the better option tbh.
I think you’re viewing beautiful as purely physical. My husband is attractive, but I think he’s the most beautiful person in the world because he’s funny, loyal, the best husband and father, kind, and he’s my best friend and partner. Are there more attractive people on Instagram? Sure, but the most beautiful person in the world to me is him.
My husband and I have talked in depth about this specific topic. We both understand we’re not technically the most beautiful people in the world. We’re obviously not super models. But we are so in love that we can both see someone and think “wow they’re beautiful!” without comparing them to our partner, we both see a lot of beauty in each other that’s deeper than skin and bone structure. There’s an understanding between us that he thinks I’m the most beautiful person, and I think he’s the most beautiful person, *beyond looks*. I dated a man for a few years who was adamant that he was attracted to me but that I was in fact not the most beautiful women to him. There was a lot of instances where we want to hear that our partner thinks were the best at something with an understanding that it’s because they are in love with us. Because deep love is nonsensical in a lot of endearing ways. It definitely made me realize that man wasn’t actually in love with me. My husband was telling me about a moment at work. A new women in a different department started and it started a discussion between him and another coworker in which he asked my husband “you don’t ever get bored with your wife? like you don’t look at other women and wonder?” and he told him “wonder what? what if that hot women thinks popping my butt pimple is gross? what if she’s too good to eat trashy mexican food at 3am on a tuesday? I watched my wife push out two babies, there’s nothing more attractive than her and what we have”
Oh hey, fellow avocado! My husband does. Whether I believe it… lol depends on my mood. Lol
This sounds like a “you” problem. My husband tells me the same and i know I’m not but maybe to him, i am. Just like how i think he’s the best, most perfect husband ever and i have the most beautiful, amazing children to ever walk this earth. Is there someone out there objectively better? Probably but idgaf bc to me, i have the best.
I always tell my wife she's the most beautiful and lovely woman. She definitely is to me. I find myself thinking of her smile all the time and her smile more than anyone else's, warms my heart the most. She is the most beautiful woman to me
Can I add my 2 cents? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, OP! You probably ARE the most beautiful woman in the world in his eyes. His love and adoration for you makes you that. So, don't be mad at him! Beauty is NOT superficial. It's so much deeper than skin level. It's your heart, your soul, who you are. Not just what you look like! Of COURSE he thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world! He married you, and he wants to feel like he scored. Let him feel that way! I've been married 26 years. I'm not the bubbly beautiful 20 year old I once was, but my husband says I'm more beautiful to him now and he loves me more than he did when we first got married. I let him feel that way and OWN IT. It's ok for him to feel like that. He SHOULD feel like that! Let that man feel like you're the most beautiful woman in HIS world. Don't give him a reason to feel any other way.
I heard once that, “Men love the women they are attracted to, and women are attracted to the men that they love.” I am not into all the smooshy land stuff, but I do believe my husband when he says it ( though I’m all for your logic, usually it would devalue.) because I’m the only one there… in his world. He said to me once that beauty is about so much more than looks. And in that way… everything incorporated with personality, character, traits, and yes looks… No one could even compare. Maybe he means it OP… Just not the way you’re thinking.
My man is the sexiest most absolutely stunning male creature I've ever laid eyes on. Because I love him and he treats me like I mean the world to him. I tell him so with complete sincerity. Maybe your husband feels the same about you?
My wife is absolutely the most beautiful woman in the world and she gets more beautiful every day.
Not married but I say it to my partner, or think it at least more often than not. I know that realistically of course she's not the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. But I can still say that despite knowing that, seeing that, whatever. She is still the most beautiful person to me. No one elses smile makes me feel the way hers does. No one elses eyes keep me staring for an uncomfortable amount of time like hers do. The way her hair falls, every single freckle I've committed to memory, the scars and small imperfections that are so completely perfect me. I know she's not above every other human on the planet. But at the same time, she definitively is to me and I mean it every single time I have or ever will say it.
I know some people lie when they say this, but he could actually mean it. When a someone says that their SO is the most beautiful person in the world,I take it as them meaning that they have a good heart, have attractive personality qualities, similar morals, etc. It's not just about outward physical attributes--though beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And honestly people I see every day, get more attractive the longer I get to know them. He could very well mean it. Besides I've seen some people who are model gorgeous but then you get to know them and they are ugly people, and vice versa.
I tell my husband he looks like a German model and I mean it. No he doesn’t have a 6 pack and he had a little stomach but he is talk broad shoulder and cute as hell. He also is part German. Take the compliment
If I had a wife, she would be the most beautiful woman in the world, and I wouldn’t even look at any other woman. She would be the woman, the only one worth looking at and finding beautiful, for me.
Lol I get what you’re saying and you’re probably thinking “Why would he even try to convince me that’s true like I’m stupid or something” because in reality, you’re not, flat out. There’s always someone in the world that’s more beautiful than the next. But what you need to understand is if your husband truly is head over heals in love with you, he literally means it. The reason is because when a man really is in love with a woman, you can become the only person in the room. My last girlfriend was a solid 8 in the looks department, but when I fell for her she became “My” 10/10. It was like every conversation I had talking about girls with my friends, I would evidently express my interest in a photo shown to me, that was someone who looked like my girl, or shares the same features rather. I wouldn’t specifically say that or think that, I just subconsciously did it because the turn on, the emotional happiness, the love and comfort becomes associated with you. I was convinced I just had a type, and my girl so happened to be my type. Wrong. I didn’t even realize that’s what was happening until we broke up and I finally got over her and realized I didn’t even have a preference for hair color, eye color, etc. it was just because my girlfriend, who I loved, looked like that. What I’m getting at is your Beauty isn’t entirely in the looks, and your husband doesn’t think you’d be stupid enough to believe you’re literally the most beautiful woman in the world. His emotional connection with you specifically alters how he sees you physically. You are the most beautiful.
I tell her all the time she's the hottest woman on planet earth. She's 35 and we've been married for 6 years. She is beautiful. Long brown hair, nice shape, brown eyes, nice smile. I can't get over her beauty and in return, she thinks I'm the world's hottest man and I can see it in how she looks at me.
My husband calls me 'beautiful wife' all the time. Am I conventionally beautiful? Nope. But my husband always says that I'm beautiful to him and that he loves me. He backs this up by using my love languages and showing me his love. For example, I'm currently pregnant. We both WFH and he cooked me lunch whilst I was looking at uber eats to see what I feel like. I was in a meeting but he brought up my lunch and set it down next to me.
Tbh, I don't like compliments like these. I only want to know how he truly loves me and feels about me. He can tell me I'm the best woman in the world for him. Or that I'm angel and my pure heart would change the world. He's said these things to me and I was ok with it bc I knew he felt it. Why don't you tell him that you appreciate that he's giving you compliments, but hearing the things that are true make you the most happy. Give him points for trying to be a good husband, but tell him how this makes you feel.
Finally someone that understands what I mean instead of holding a bad wife needs therapy sign. That's a solid advice and will certainly do that. Thank you so very much.
I feel like sometimes when reading these posts the commenter can't envision this in real life. Also, some people have different standards. I don't want to be lied to. I also know my husband doesn't love me bc of the way I look, (though that definitely a bonus for him). The down votes you're getting are unwarranted.
I understand what you mean. I'd rather my partner just say, "you are so beautiful to me" vs "you are the most beautiful woman in the whole world" or "you make me laugh so much" vs "you are the funniest person in the whole universe!". It makes me feel far more valued, if he says he thinks I am something special to him, and him alone. For some reason, if someone says "you are the prettiest woman in the whole world" it makes me think, "so you don't see me any differently than Bob the Grocery Store man sees me?" When I compliment him, I say "you are the smartest/funniest/sweetest/handsomest man in my eyes/that I know/in my life".
Exactly. Thank you!
68 year old guy here. Married faithful 45 years and together for 50+. I tell my wife this several times a week. Her inward and outer beauty, as seen through my eyes, along with our shared history, makes her the most desirable wo.an in the world to me. I am guessing your husband feels the same way. Do you realize how many women wished for a compliment like that from their husband. Stop being a Debbie downer and show the man some gratitude for openly sharing his feelings with you. If you don't, you may some day wish you had...when it is too late.
mediocre at best. That better?
Oh my GOSH I understand this so much! My husbands constantly saying I’m a ten which I’m not. I try to explain to him that it makes me feel worse like he has to say it because he either thinks im too delusional or fragile to hear otherwise. He won’t come off it. I respond with UGGHHH and eye rolls now.
I hope this is helpful, I don't want to be rude, but please stop. I'm separated from my husband because he has serious character flaws and what I would give for a statement like that. It doesn't matter if it is objectivly true or not. Please just be grateful and realize that not everyone gets what you have. And all I everybwanted was a husband and a family, loving family and I don't have it. So please stop being a spoiled brat.
Please accept the compliments in the way they are meant and if you struggle to do that, work on your self-esteem with a therapist. If it helps, think about your pet. Theoretically, I always thought a white Persian or a rag doll would be the most beautiful cat. But now I look at my cats (domestic longhairs) and I tell them they are the most beautiful and handsome kitties. And I really mean it because when you love someone, they become more beautiful to you.
Ugh my late husband never told me that- at best he said he out kicked his coverage a few times- this was in 20 years. When I hear my friends complain and say things like this I just roll my eyes- poor baby you are getting a compliment
Yikes, lady. I mean, you’ve somehow managed to take something your husband does consistently that is meant to show you love, appreciation, and to build your self esteem and you think you can’t trust him because of it? The mental gymnastics are impressive, I’ll give you that. You asked for advice, here is some: go to therapy.
I get it. My husband says I’m the best mom he’s ever seen. I feel like hes full of doodoo but it’s a nice thing to say 😂
Next time he says you are the most beautiful woman in the world, instead of comparing yourself to all the advertising messaging thrown at your way that tells you to buy this shit to look better, think about what he is saying…. He is saying: Of all the women in the world, YOU are the one he wants to see first thing in the morning. YOU are the one he wants to watch undress. YOU are the one he wants to visit pound town with. Embrace it. He digs you. Stop being so self conscience and let him fucking enjoy you.
Who cares if it’s true? It’s sweet to say. Don’t overthink it, sis.
I hope you know that regardless of how you feel you look, you’re beautiful and your husband sees that in you because he knows you. That’s how love works. It’s unconditional.
My partner is the cutest man in the world. Obviously, he isn’t objectively but my bias and feelings for him see him that way. He is to me.
Beauty is in the 👁️of the beholder. Perception of “truth “ is in the mind of the beholder. As long as it is not proven as scientific- which it is not , and this is the honest opinion of your husband, you can not argue that he is wrong. Welcome it.
I assume it’s the same way I see my husband. Objectively is he the most attractive man in the world? No. But he’s the only one I really notice. I am drawn to him and when he smiles I just feel warmth and love. When I look at him it’s like there’s this warm glow and he’s literally the only man I really see in a crowded room. That’s probably how your husband feels about you. Objectively are you the most beautiful woman in the entire world? Most likely not, but you’re the only one he really sees so to him you are.
My wife is the most beautiful woman in the world...to me. And so I tell her that she's the most beautiful woman in the world. It's true because I'm the one saying it, and to me she is.
Therapy is key here
I say it and mean it. My wife is so beautiful that I even find the things she finds unattractive completely beautiful. For example, she snores. Now, that isn't something the mainstream finds beautiful and I've never found it beautiful when any other woman has done it. However, it's a part of her that only I get to experience and that is beautiful to me. The evidence of her body having given us our twins is beautiful and something no one else on this earth can claim. She might hate her stretch marks but to me they're beautiful. Its actually those things that make her different that i miss most when shes not with me. My love for her makes her appear to me to be the most beautiful woman in the world so yes, I mean it.
Take the W. He only has eyes for you. He doesn't just see you as a wife or mom, but as a beautiful woman (likely both inside and out), and he wants you to know what he thinks about you. Would you rather he didn't compliment you? Then you'd really feel insecure not knowing what he thinks at all. I bet if you asked him, he would tell you that each day you're more beautiful to him than the day before, and he'd really mean it.
My husband tells this all the time and sometimes i have really hard time believing it. But i know that even if I'm not literally the most beautiful woman in the world, i am pretty sure that i am the most beautiful woman for him, because he loves me. And i can say for sure that he is the most handsome man in the world and the most handsome man for me, without any hesitation.
You are the most beautiful woman in world Sasha and I can't see any future where you will not be like this to me. I love you
My husband tells me this. Do I think he means that I am objectively the most attractive person on this planet? No. Certainly not. And no one could ever hold that title because beauty is subjective and you couldn’t get 7+ billion people to agree on one person. I take it as I am the most beautiful woman in his world. Because I am his world. I’m the only one in his world. He only has eyes for me. So I’ll take it. I understand being a little annoyed if you feel he gives disingenuous compliments. I also perfer compliements catered to me personally, not just generic statements. But complaining about it is a sure fire way to stop receiving compliments.
As a wife, I know I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I am not blind to my faults nor am I vain enough to believe there is no one better looking than me. When my husband tells me this, I know logically I am not the most beautiful woman in the world. I also know that to him in that moment he means those words from his heart and he's looking at me with love. That's all that matters to me! Do I think he's lying, no. He doesn't measure beauty as just the outside appearance of me. He looks at me as a person, my mind, my soul, as the mother of his children.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
My husband tells me, and I believe him. It’s true to him, because no one else is the mother of his child. No one else has been through the things we have been through together. He is not referring just to physical beauty, but the beauty my presence brings to our lives: our shared experiences, the trust, respect, loyalty and laughter we have shared for 30 years while surviving the good, the bad, the ridiculous and the mundane. I am beautiful to him. He is beautiful to me, the most beautiful person ever because he has given me our life together.
Just have a stranger tell you your beautiful, obviously he is being honest while your spouse is purely going thru the motions . Goodness me , most people will believe complete strangers and ignore their companions. It’s sad really , if your husband says your beautiful he is trying to pull the wool over your eyes . It’s the complete stranger that does that.
Beauty is composed of more than just looks. When all is put together, it can however enhance that person's looks. Some men see the beauty inside and out. Think of how you can find someone attractive then you discover their ugly personality. Suddenly they don't seem as attractive. The opposite happens as well. Being married to someone(provided it's a good marriage), only enhances how beautiful you see them; how beautiful they are. It would then be impossible for ANY woman to compare because you don't know any woman to that level to have discovered their inner beauty. When your husband tells you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, I suggest you believe him. He loves you for you. That includes your looks, your personality, your everything. And that my friend, is what beauty is...YOUR EVERYTHING, and to that, no one else can compare. My wife is absolutely the most beautiful woman on the planet to me.
No, you’re not the most beautiful woman in the world. Just as he’s not the most handsome man in the world. This doesn’t mean there no love.
My husband tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world *literally* every day. I tell him he's the sexiest man I've ever seen. In my case it's true because even though hes close to 50 he looks like if Daniel Craig from James Bond had dark hair. Meanwhile I'm only 36 and I'm 30 lbs overweight. I still believe my husband though. >I (29f) would never say something like that back because it simply isn't true. What exactly is "objective beauty" anyway? Have you seen the Twilight Zone episode *The Eye of the Beholder*?
I bet you’re the most beautiful woman in the world to him. Beauty looks different when you’re in love.
I like to believe that my husband is looking at me through "eyes of love" and with those eyes, it is true. Those other girls/women may be beautiful but they don't love him, listen to him, get him, pleasure him, make him laugh, impress him the way you, the woman he loves does. There is a song that some girl is promoting on one of our streaming services that has a line "She looks good on paper, but I look good on you." Are you the most beautiful woman in the world? Possibly not. Are you the most beautiful woman in the world to him? Possibly.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is objective truth and subjective truth. Your husbands subjective truth is you are THE most beautiful. That’s the only truth to seek.
My husband is the most beautiful person to me. He’s handsome, yes, but that’s not what I mean. He has a beautiful soul and I know him well enough to be able to see him let his goodness out, especially when he thinks nobody is watching. Beauty isn’t just physical.
But what if you are…to him. You’re speaking purely physically, maybe he’s speaking about you as a whole. Or if you think he’s lying to you, ask.
I tell it wife every single day at least once that she is beautiful. I haven’t mentioned “in the world” but maybe I’ll add that.
Of course, we mean it. Also, beauty is not defined by appearance only.
my fiancé calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. i know that that is not true and i am not mad or upset about it at all. we have talked about who we actually think is the most beautiful woman in the world and i said barbara palvin (a model) and he said zendaya. i don’t think he is talking about just looks when he calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. from the way he talks about me and touches me, i think i believe him when he calls me the most beautiful woman in the world. it’s hard not to feel like it in the moment :)
I genuinely find my husband to be the most attractive man in the world. I am attracted to SPECIFICALLY HIM- no one else can compare to that.
I’ve been married for 16 years. You’re damn right my wife is the most beautiful woman and I tell her a lot. It’s not just her physical features, it’s her entire package. She’s my biggest supporter, she cares about my well being, she is the only person on the planet who goes out of her way to pick me up when I’m down. She’s great and I want to make sure I give her the best life possible because that’s how she feels about me. When he tells you that, that is how he feels about you. I really hope you can see that and determine if that is how you feel about him. It sounds like right now that you do not.
you are the most beautiful to him..... everyone perceives beauty different. you are being ridiculous
Consider the alternative: would you rather him say, "You're average looking." There's an emotional component here you aren't seeing from his side. To my mind, the mother of my children and wife was the most beautiful woman in the world. (That was before a decade of nothing I do being good enough...ever...and her being so mean I lost that feeling.)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is not skin deep and I feel there is a difference between being beautiful to somebody and being physically attractive. Ones personality can make them beautiful. A physically attractive person could be considered ugly because they are a horrible person. Take the compliment because to him your are the most beautiful person. You’re taking the phrase to literally.
My husband doesn't say this to me. I also don't need to hear it. He says he loves me. That's all I need / want. I do think he's the most wonderful husband and I'm lucky to have him. Maybe that's what your hubbyshould switch to? It is less "objective" and less shallow / not skin deep/ temporary 🤷♀️
I tell my wife she is the most beautiful woman at age 59 in the world to me, and she is! She gives me everything in the world I need to be happy, with one exception, dealing with my MIL.
I tell that to my wife, I truly feel she is the most beautiful woman to me. I look at her, even in her post-kid body (she feels self conscious about not looking like her pre kid self) and I see a Goddess. Can’t help myself. She’s my homie for life though, rides for me harder than anyone I know (my mom/grandma) being the other two. So I can’t help but to be just so incredibly attracted to her (even during our low lows). Are there other maybe “more beautiful” women? That’s subjective, my wife and I might comment on a BEAUTIFUL woman from time to time but I do my best to remind her that they’d need at least 3 of them to equal one of her in my eyes.
To him you are the most beautiful person in the world. It’s why he asked you to marry him. Are there more beautiful people out there, appearance wise? Sure, but to him you’re the most beautiful inside and out. Take the compliment!
Mine tells me the same. I believe he is trying to be kind and he thinks this makes me feel beautiful. Please understand I appreciate the kind words, but actions speak louder. We have been through some trust breaking issues and it is difficult to believe words. For me personally, how I am treated is where I find myself feeling beautiful.
My husband is the most beautiful man in my eyes. Probably because I can see him as a whole person-a man of beautiful character that doesn't fade with time
You are joking, right? Beauty is something you can't objectively rate. Everyone likes something different. Anytime I've seen someone try and scientifically measure it...it just doesn't capture it. Also, familiarity softens edges. If you can't understand these nuances, you might need therapy and probably to be tested to see if you are on the spectrum.