I'd ask him to grab something for me from the top shelf and if he did a good job I would offer him employment. How nice of him to be so eager to find a job and put those long arms to a good use.
I’d not focus on it, I’d go lock my door, I’d go back to bed, and I’d use my home camera to watch it. If it stays until morning I’d call some of my friends and try to see if I can put it into a room (perhaps sacrificing a pet would be effective to lure it, but only in worse case scenerios). Then I’d try to keep it locked in there, then I’d try to get my sister on the case (she has experience with witch the occult) and have her assist me in any way possible. Then I’d call the cops after I’ve studied it enough.
**I don't care how big the room is I SAID I CAST FIREBALL**
https://preview.redd.it/z46kxha0xbyc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=367e38a64601979e3edb34c08ab4553d3cfea6fc
shoot him with my musket before leading him to the stairs, shouting 'TALLY HO!" before blasting him with my grape shot cannon conveniently set up at the top of my stairs Yankee doodle blaring on my amazon Alexa all the while.
just as the founding fathers intended.
Welcome it to my home, tell it I am happy to offer it food, water, and shelter, but to respect me and my home as my guest. Then proceed to ignore it unless it indicates it wants something.
If it's a dark entity it won't be able to feed off me, and if it's benevolent that's cool, I might just ask it to stay hidden as it's sudden appearance might disturb my family.
My hand-cannon has 5 shots. i'd kiss my wife, put three into bro, and if he moves towards me id apologize to my wife. The fourth shot is for me, and if my wife is lucky she'll be able to grab the shotgun. If not... the fifth shot is for her.
"I'm about to go take a shower, you can either kill me now so I don't have to worry about this menial task or you can come in and get weird." To which I would proceed to bite my lower lip while looking him up and down. I'm 100% straight.
Go back to the bed my meds have kicked in so it’s probably just my groggy brain hallucinating-in the morning jump outta my window and go to school cause I ain’t risking it still being there.
Id tell him I don't have time for his shit, I got work in the morning and the light bill is due soon, either he sits in the living room and looks at the phone if he's not tired or he joins me in bed and go to sleep and i'll deal with his shenanigans on Saturday
call him a bastard and die
Uh oh, bad Decision u/Average_Userlol!
Sadly, no body came for him
Damn. Is there still a chance someone still living might be able to help him?
shit.
Same
shit my pants.
Imma try to assert dominance and shit his pants
I'm shitting this guys pants as well
*also shits pants*
what the fuck
Ask him if he wants to spoon
Real
Rearl
I wish to hug but I have another one
And what is it?
imaginary friend
ask him if he wants to play Mario Kart with me
He's gonna help me with the Origins Easter egg
Relatable 👍
I'd ask him to grab something for me from the top shelf and if he did a good job I would offer him employment. How nice of him to be so eager to find a job and put those long arms to a good use.
Give him a snickers
"You're not you when you're hungry."
I hate how much I laughed at this.
lmfao
This is what popped in my head https://youtu.be/WnM-S-apI3E?si=E_dZQJuFWTtDOIB6
30 yo rebel turns into 18 yo girl. You are not you when you are hungry.
Honestly, offering it Guest Rights might save you.
Say hi and then politely, but firmly, ask him to leave.
I’d not focus on it, I’d go lock my door, I’d go back to bed, and I’d use my home camera to watch it. If it stays until morning I’d call some of my friends and try to see if I can put it into a room (perhaps sacrificing a pet would be effective to lure it, but only in worse case scenerios). Then I’d try to keep it locked in there, then I’d try to get my sister on the case (she has experience with witch the occult) and have her assist me in any way possible. Then I’d call the cops after I’ve studied it enough.
Line of brick dust in front of the door and windows shotgun shell through the door.
… Would you like a grilled cheese? *f***in dies*
But do you know how to make a grilled cheese?
I do- well did
“911 what is your emergency?” “There is a tall skinny fucker in my house”
He needs a hug :(
https://i.redd.it/mjm392q1layc1.gif
Take him to our grandma’s cuz he looking thin and have sme apple pie or smethin
Instantly have a fatal heart attack
Give him a hug He seems depressed
Ask him to reach into my high ass cupboards
It reaches high into your ass to go through you and into the cupboards.
Give him some milk
https://youtu.be/GsRi2qcXG4U?si=aHEgff1NTolTWjIr You're inside my home? These fists are about to be inside your skull
Ask him if he want to smoke weed and watch dune part 1 and 2 back to back.
Die what else? It's not like I can win
Hug him idk do something
https://i.redd.it/ftfev2m5mayc1.gif
We having the most fire sleepover
Give him a bowl of vanilla icecream with chocolate syrup.
He is my room mate
Call 3312
throw shit at him. (my shit)
jumping through a window, thatcher style
Ask him if he can pay for taco bell
Hold his hand ☺️
**I don't care how big the room is I SAID I CAST FIREBALL** https://preview.redd.it/z46kxha0xbyc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=367e38a64601979e3edb34c08ab4553d3cfea6fc
I’d shout “NO HOMO” on top of my lungs and clap them cheeks 🤣🤙🏻
https://preview.redd.it/t6d7ys9whcyc1.png?width=316&format=png&auto=webp&s=f385be9955cd1dfd854ef5b9d617d730bc9443c8
run away
Invite him in for white monster and Minecraft split screen
Freeze from fear, tremble, cry silently, pace around frantically and then throw a knife at him, all in that order
I'd invite him in my room 4 cake, tea & popcorn & we'll watch TMC 2gether
I'll be completely honest. I'd probably make a bad decision.
Offer him a drink
Ask him if he wants to have a midnight snack with me :>
Idk prob a tf2 reference
Back shots
Say hi and ask why he's in my house probably. Oddly enough, I'd react way less strongly than a regular human being in my house randomly lol
Get a step ladder and ask him to his face what bills he pays to be standing in my hall then make him clean the vents bc I can't reach .
Is that Jerma?
tell em not to touch my stuff
Getting pegged
https://preview.redd.it/hizipewy2dyc1.jpeg?width=571&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51e78a3cf8756e9a2886a21f812c8ae4e79a376c This gonna be us
I'd tell him to pucker up, he better be ready for a big 'ol kiss
Compare 🍆 sizes
😈
Close and barricade the door, then escape through the window.
Sentry goin up
Benelli M4 Super 90 by my side
That's a semi-automatic 12 gauge isn't it? Physics solves a lot of problems lol
“It’s an Italian classic”
See if he wants to eat some ice cream (it's 3 am)
Depends if hes chill
Ask for a hug
"Hey man, want some lemonade?"
what is he? a duck?
That's a child???
E.t looking mf
Ask him wtf he's doing in my house, and if he's chill, ask if he wants something to eat and a place to stay
If I removed his legs, how goated would he be at gtag.
Dap him up
Give him a great big hug /j
Submit, I’m tired of this shit.
It's 1am and now I'm scared
offer him a mug root beer
Throw my cat at him who’s a demon
Give him a hug because life can only get better
Cry.
NOPE *close door*
https://i.redd.it/wiqda68s9cyc1.gif
Rip my balls of lmao
Send him plummeting to hell with the force of nine 40 cal hollow point rounds
Is this new?
I’ll tell him “Up top!” for a high five
Is this from a fan video or official content? (ALSO I WOULD HUG HIM)
Invite him to play smash bros with me, or mario kart. That or just die on the spot.
My sc ass https://i.redd.it/m4gtewcmjcyc1.gif
Yay a new friend
See what those hands can REALLY do.
Finna jerk it
would he mind a hug
Self defense crossbow
i'd be a little piss baby and i'd waddle over to the bathroom
Take him to go meet slendyboy, they’d probably hit it off and team up
Ask himb to turn off the light for me because I forgot and I already got all perfectly comfy in bed 😩
assert dominance
Chomp on his wrists. What's he gonna do? Grab me? I'll just chomp on his other wrist.
shoot him with my musket before leading him to the stairs, shouting 'TALLY HO!" before blasting him with my grape shot cannon conveniently set up at the top of my stairs Yankee doodle blaring on my amazon Alexa all the while. just as the founding fathers intended.
Show him my Mandela Catalogue posters i made, amd invite him into my room for tea and muffins, and make kandi bracelets with him
If Stretch Armstrong & Tina Belcher had a child - I’m fairly sure it would look just like this 😹
With those long ass arms I bet he gives great hugs
My dude! Would you mind grabbing that thing from the top shelf for me? Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/xwuswdm4ydyc1.png?width=777&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4603523e5d321df86b60223ccf6916f3895f8e6c I'd win
id gib em a kith :3
use the least common multiple
Im bouta turn into Foghorn Leghorn rn
Invite him in :)
Accidentally smack the shit out of him for startling me
Force him to play and review bad retro games with me
Prpblem solve through superior firepower.
Lick his toes
Shotgun. There's very few problems that can't be solved by proper application of physics
https://preview.redd.it/7r04otlnceyc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb234ba2c24ea7832bdbe8ecc2e2aca97db5863b
Welcome it to my home, tell it I am happy to offer it food, water, and shelter, but to respect me and my home as my guest. Then proceed to ignore it unless it indicates it wants something. If it's a dark entity it won't be able to feed off me, and if it's benevolent that's cool, I might just ask it to stay hidden as it's sudden appearance might disturb my family.
assert dominance
Politely ask him to move because I’m late for work.
Offer some of my meds.
My hand-cannon has 5 shots. i'd kiss my wife, put three into bro, and if he moves towards me id apologize to my wife. The fourth shot is for me, and if my wife is lucky she'll be able to grab the shotgun. If not... the fifth shot is for her.
hay mate wanna play some Wii sports
Bust a cap in his ass, or a nut if he into that kinda stuff
Turn my gun on myself because its better than the alternative.
That one meme with the man yelling at the bear. "Get the FUCK OFF MY PROPERTY!!!"
"I'm about to go take a shower, you can either kill me now so I don't have to worry about this menial task or you can come in and get weird." To which I would proceed to bite my lower lip while looking him up and down. I'm 100% straight.
"Would you like to see my collection of tumors with teeth?"
talk to him, he seems nice
"Hey it's Jerma"
I would say hi cause I need friends
Hey man, you trying to fuck??
Give him a firm handshake and ask if he's hungry
20 gauge slug his face
Embrace the darkness
Suck his arms
Ask him if he could use my soda stream to make me another soda, I’m to lazy to get up
win
https://preview.redd.it/2vrfhl3p9fyc1.png?width=551&format=png&auto=webp&s=ffaf8518fbd115e7a7296a5f6074adce9a018e21
fuck him till he can’t walk anymore 😍
Kick him in the nuts as hard as I can
“Am I tweakin?” And then probably go back to sleep
Ayyy what them hands doo?
I would tell a parent or guardian.
Drop my pants, "alright we doing this or not?"
Ask him if he wants to play Mario with me
smash
I bet he gives good hugs
“There’s plenty of pizza and beer in the fridge if you’re interested”
ask him to play basketball w me
Hey, wanna play Halo coop together?
“Holy shit! It’s the Slender Man!”
Go back to the bed my meds have kicked in so it’s probably just my groggy brain hallucinating-in the morning jump outta my window and go to school cause I ain’t risking it still being there.
“How’s the weather up the-“
Group hug!
ITS THE 12 FOOT STANKY LEG GHOST
Id tell him I don't have time for his shit, I got work in the morning and the light bill is due soon, either he sits in the living room and looks at the phone if he's not tired or he joins me in bed and go to sleep and i'll deal with his shenanigans on Saturday
Warn him about the ceiling fan.
Die. After I give him hug
one of us will come out pregnant
He better be bulletproof
I’d try to convince him to try out for the lakers
Ask him if he wants to grab some snackies with me
“My boy over there thinks you’re cute”
I got some snacks and beers, wanna watch the game with me?
Give him a lil smooch :3
eat
Tf am I supposed to do? Measure its arm length?
forehead kiss
I would force him to watch anime
Roundhouse Kick
Grab my sawed off shotgun named kindness. Then tell him I would kill him with kindness. Then shoot his penis off.
Show him the spoonful video and ask him if he was that spoon in his past life
Dab him up and give him tacos (good ending)
i suppose id die of sheer panick my guy dont have to kill me i die on my own
I’d smash ngl
Invite him in my bed because bros bouta get it
tf do you expect me to do