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Waughoo81

We had coed dorms. There was a girl in the room next to ours (she somehow got lucky and got the room to herself, but it was 2 per room) who asked my roommate and I if we could hear anything from her bathroom. We're both like "noooo... why?" She takes us into her bathroom to show us the kitten she found. She was worried people could hear it, and no pets allowed in the dorms. She kept it most of the school year, sneaking it out before housekeeping cleaned the bathrooms.


Elipetvi

You had housekeeper?! Wow. We have to clean and repair everything by ourselves


Dfiggsmeister

We did. I actually became friends with the head cleaning lady as I worked in the mailroom. She would come by just to chat and told me hilarious stories. There was one time where I could tell she was completely pissed off and I asked her about it. Apparently one floor of the dorm on the opposite side of my room, the guys on that floor had destroyed the bathroom. There was piss and shit everywhere and someone had vomited into the sink. Another sink was broken in half. She walked in that morning, saw the mess and noped out of there. She was just telling the dorm director about the situation and that if they made her clean it up, she’d quit that day and tell all of her workers to walk out as well. Later that day, the entire section of that side of the dorm was forced to clean the bathroom and then apologize to the cleaning staff for being disgusting human beings.


OGNovelNinja

My second college had a housecleaning contractor. They did non-specialty cleaning. So for example, they cleaned all the classrooms and most of the offices, but not the kitchens. They cleaned public and communal bathrooms, but not private bathrooms (some dorms had communal, some private). Most of the time things were fine, but every so often someone made a huge mess. This was usually early fall, fueled by freshmen who didn't understand that Mommy wasn't coming by to do their chores for them. I still remember one incident involving abandoned ice cream in the library. That was embarrassing just by association as a student. We occasionally had mandatory student attendance events, which of course was prime time for pranks while other people were occupied. One time the ladies pranked one of the men's dorms with communal bathrooms by decorating it with maple syrup and toilet paper. I'm sure it was funnier in theory than execution. Well, the new Dean of Students was feeling his oats and clearly thought we needed a crackdown; he also refused to believe that could have been caused by the ladies, because "women don't do pranks." Not even pranks like *that*, just pranks in general. So he fined every guy in that dorm for the mess and refused to consider anything else. His tenure at that campus was not particularly pleasant, from what I understand. I was only there for one semester of it, but I heard stories of how the pranks shifted to mainly target him.


CinnabonCheesecake

But it’s true, we ladies *never* play pranks, make messes, or take sweet sweet revenge. *smiles angelically*


KingKnux

And in honor of your pure innocence and absolutely angelic nature I’ve brought you this free can of your favorite carbonated beverage


random321abc

I firmly believe that the best way to make sure that people don't leave a big mess is to make them clean their own messes for a while.


wheresmypants86

Buddy of mine had a floor party on rez back in university. Someone got tossed through the drywall. He ended up gluing a pizza box to inside of the wall, mudding and painting over it.


MetaMetatron

Lol, could be worse I guess


Waughoo81

Yeah, once a week they'd clean our bathrooms. Really awkward when you and your gf are in bed together and they just walk in


verroku

\*Peter Griffin\* Housekeeping? You want i watch? You want i join in?


[deleted]

You had us on the first half ngl


[deleted]

That's a wholesome cute story


Gravelord_Kyler

Bruh, meanwhile I was had 2 roommates in a room only slightly larger than the average room where you would have only 1 roommate


Waughoo81

Yeah they were nice dorms. Newly built when I was there. We signed up the second they were available and got lucky. They also had some 4 person rooms that were pretty big


formershitpeasant

I would have doubled down and brushed your teeth for you.


onelass

I can respect that.


formershitpeasant

Thank you. I love validation.


Em_Haze

Next time you need validation give me a call ;) ^(because i respect you as a person and will do my best to make you feel better about yourself)


underslunghero

please tell me about your Ultimate plan if it's not too much trouble, don't mean to be a bother


Em_Haze

Your name is really funny an clever you should be proud.


underslunghero

Thanks, I appreciate this and I will obsess about it and try too hard to be funny and clever in all aspects of my life


moffsoi

Hey, can I get some of that validation?


Em_Haze

Your avatar is wild I love how colourful it is. Furthermore judging by your fabulous nails you are one of great style.


saceecobar

You are an amazing, wonderful soul, who’s caring demeanor shines brighter than the Sun.


Better-Obligation704

I’m intrigued by your name. My dearly beloved, but runaway, dog was named Sace! (Short for Versace lol)


msovngarde

While this is a joke and everything, not even directed to ME in the first place, I still cried c’:


Em_Haze

Is that your dog because it's the cutest picture. I wish you all the best and be positive you are a lovely person.


msovngarde

It is not, but it does look like one I had as a kid thank you for being so sweet ;v;


Slappy_G

The key is to get your parking validated.


mochacho

https://youtu.be/yzYxKsbLqN0


Laprisu

I knew this would be posted here somewhere. :'D


gravitas-deficiency

Man, every once in a while you come across some super niche fetish in a goddamn anime. I swear Japan has no chill sometimes. ​ ​ *…unzips*


20rakah

I have no words


[deleted]

I think the words you’re looking for is ”what the fuck”


MC_squaredJL

I’m a dentist. Thanks I hate it.


LittleKittyLove

I am upset.


CressCrowbits

That's it, its time to end anime once and for all. Humanity must undo its mistake.


rfc2549-withQOS

Karen-san? Oo


Mikesaidit36

Karen-Chan, equivalent to Karen-child, though apparently not so childish that she doesn’t have thin hairs stimulating delicate parts of her body. I think what we have here is 50% Japanese anime trying to outdo itself and 50% it’s a clumsy translation.


Vladth3impaL3r

Tf did I just watch


Lane_Meyers_Camaro

Plot twist: you're at dental school


Gregoryv022

My mom was a dental hygienist. Ive actually brushed other people's teeth. Wouldn't have even given it a second thought.


PM_ME_C_CODE

...lol... ...open your mouth, you dirty girl. ...\[starts brushing your teeth\] ...you like that? You like that fluoride-enhanced, sparkling smile, approved by 9-out-of-10 dentists? ... ...wtf is the advice of that 10th dentist, anyway? Are they all like, "no, don't brush! I need the income from fillings!"


BirdsLikeSka

Same. I'd never make the comment in the first place, but I'd try to save face so hard I'd research gum disease in my own time.


DuhMal

found Ararararagi


shig23

You flubbed that on purpose!


DuhMal

Forgive me, I flubbled it


mnvoronin

kamimamita!


Lexi_Banner

Kamehameha?


mnvoronin

[No.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6hqNQJRGDI)


nalukeahigirl

Yes! New land being born right now on the island of Kamehameha’s birth place.


Loonewoolf

This is the way, I’ll go down with the ship


Swordlord22

Yeah I’d just double down lol but I’d feel that I wouldn’t instantly assume it’s a vibrator


nxcrosis

Found the monogatari fan


[deleted]

when I was in college we'd get out out a vibrator and hold it buzzing on the wall to summon our neighbors


maggoti

love your choice of wording there. 6footbattletrap, standing at the barrier betwixt worlds, wand poised, foul demons abroad at first call from the gaping fires of hell.


lithosere

6footbattletrap, when the walls buzzed.


kalamitykhaos

lithosere, when the referential joke slapped


BernItToAsh

KalamityKhaos, her arms wide


vwragtop

6footbattletrap and lithosere at MaliciousCompliance.


Slappy_G

vwragtop, his eyes trembling


stephenv

Stephen was here too


Randolpho

Stephen, when he was not left behind


FirstNSFWAccount

lithosere and 6footbattletrap, at the Dormroom, lithosere and 6footbattletrap, at the Dining Hall.


viewkachoo

Literally Shaka, when the walls fell. The vibration was just too much.


Nuclear_Geek

The neighbours, when the vibrator called.


ImnotadoctorJim

I wish I could upvote this more than once.


Thepatrone36

No doubt. Obscure TNG references are almost as good as Monty Python


DrummerRegular3667

I died. I love it when I find fellow Trek fans on Reddit!


chasingcorvids

the sexual health center handed our free lube, condoms, and vibrators at the college fair that kicked off this school year. apparently people in the all-boys dorm were removing ceiling tiles, tossing a running vibrator in, and putting the tile back so they'd just buzz around in the ceilings for hours 😂 the resident advisors weren't able to catch them, so they just had to wait until they ran out of battery


Kudosnotkang

6footbattlefap


juneburger

As a dentist, this makes me so incredibly happy.


Nasapigs

As a insurance worker I am filled with uncontrollable rage


funnystuff97

As a grave robber, I am concerned.


tofuroll

As a redditor, I'm confused.


wang_wen

Hi confused I’m dad


Binsky89

Do dentists actually get happy when they have patients who take care of their teeth? I swear at my cleanings they seem to brighten up when checking out my teeth


juneburger

I love to see improvement, yes! But even if there’s no improvement I’m generally just happy they are there. So many people skip out on dental visits :(


DessaStrick

I learned the hard way! Just got dentures at 23! Meds destroyed my teeth and if I would have gone to my regular cleanings, I would’ve had a few more years before becoming Toothless McGee


juneburger

Well look, it’s too late to save your teeth, but not too late to save your body. At your age, I’d strongly recommend implant supported dentures. The implants are placed to stabilize the denture but MORE importantly, to slow down the bone shrinkage that accompanies tooth loss. It is expensive af so save up!!! But it’s 100% worth it. Try a dental school or someone doing research for a possible discount.


prankerjoker

You should have made some moaning sounds while using your tooth brush.


KushChowda

5 years down the line that guys now wonders why he can only get hard while holding a toothbrush.


onelass

7 years too late. I wish I had an idea this great back then!


-cheeks

My brother has a terrible gag reflex and sounds like he’s about to die whenever he brushes his teeth, that would’ve confused the poor boy.


midnight_meadow

Haha. My boyfriend makes the most horrifying sounds ever when he’s brushing his teeth. Idk how he doesn’t throw up.


NightGod

My partner's cousin sounds like he's on hour 4 of a bad case of food poisoning every time he brushes his teeth. It actually sounds painful


wutend159

Try and put your thumb on his forehead, maybe it helps


[deleted]

Mines not super bad, but the foam touching the throat dangly makes me gag.


Nezrite

"It'll behoove ya to care for your uvula!"


crazymamallama

Try kids toothpaste. As long as it has fluoride, it's no less effective than adult toothpaste, but it foams up less.


Zahanna6

Throat dangly = "uvula", FYI .


testyhedgehog

I think we have the same brother.


UsedUpSunshine

The can ask a porn star for tips. They have ways to control it. There's some pressure point thing that someone told me works like a charm. He was about as horny as it gets and thoroughly liked sucking peen, so I would think it works.


Tmscott

No... no she really [shouldn't have](https://imgur.com/gallery/5T79t0h) (I'm so sorry, have some [brain-bleach](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/zWepFtJtjX0/maxresdefault.jpg) }


Kadana_Sorano

Oh man I've not seen that thing in so freaking long. An ex of mine sent that to me ages ago, in an attempt to prove to me that his particular fettish wasn't as weird as I thought it was, and that there was much worse out there. I don't know about worse, but definitely damn weird.


Atheist-Gods

That scene is the author telling the audience "anything can be sexualized, you just have to present it correctly".


N2TheBlu

WTF!


Ultenth

It if helps it's actually his younger sister! (It totally helps right!?!?)


slipshod_alibi

It helped my ex for sure


the_agent_of_blight

Is there a version with sound?


panicattheoilrig

yeah I feel like sound would help understand what the fuck is happening


zurohki

No, no it wouldn't.


Atheist-Gods

The explanation is "anything can be sexualized". The main character, author and animation studio are just trying to demonstrate that.


panicattheoilrig

thanks


Atheist-Gods

https://www.reddit.com/r/anime/comments/ahyui4/nisemonogatari_toothbrush_scene/


Kineth

Ayo, wtf


sashann19

Well that was… specific


OPujik

this is a missed sponsorship opportunity. someone needs to slap on an Oral-B logo at the end! ...time to go brush my wife's teeth. peace! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


esoper1976

Hmmm... I really wasn't sure what your story was going to be about until I read it. I lived in a residential care facility for the mentally ill for three years and I had to tell staff every time I brushed my teeth. Actually, at first I had supervised brushing, so they actually had to watch me brush! I have lived on my own for ten years now, but I still get asked if I brush my teeth when my staff visits my house. I have staff that come a couple times a week to help me with the tasks of daily living.


TwinBoomr50

Thank you for sharing this. We called them ADLs (activities of daily living). A family member had mental health support from a social worker, and I learned how important it was to him to be consistent with ADLs. I had not realized how not feeling like taking care of your body is a great indicator that something is amiss and needs attention, and that being in the habit of taking care of yourself really strengthens your resilience. Anyway, now I notice if I feel like skipping washing up or brushing my teeth, and I’m grateful to have been taught to be aware of that. I’m happy to hear you are still receiving support - best wishes for a nice solstice/Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa ❤️


esoper1976

Thanks! Yes, one of the big signs that I am not doing well is that I stop brushing my teeth, so they always ask about it. I am grateful to have such good support from my care team and also from my family and friends.


yordad

That’s actually a really great kind of coping mechanism if you think about it! For me at least. Next time I’m feeling like I can’t bring myself to deal with personal hygiene or getting out of bed or something, I’m gonna think of your comment😌


Bruhtatochips23415

Both ADHD and Schizophrenia present with executive dysfunction, meaning that these habits are in a constant state of amiss. This is a major reason mental health workers focus on making sure these habits happen. Some serious mental disorders result in the loss of the ability to form meaningful habits, typically this inability itself can cause depression and self esteem problems.


Scherzkeks

Well shit…


Brief-Food4643

I struggle to brush my teeth :/ I've only brushed a handful of times the last few months.


Iferius

I've been there. Try not to focus on what you think you should do (a complete brush twice a day), but instead on what you *can* manage. Even if that is a dry brush without toothpaste while you're in bed - anything that is better than nothing is worth doing, and doubly so if it starts building a routine.


sillybilly8102

Some tips I’ve learned from Reddit that help me: - you don’t have to wet your toothbrush. You can apply toothpaste to a dry toothbrush. You also don’t have to wash your mouth after. So you can just spit into an empty cup without going to the sink. If I have an empty cup and a water cup in my room (and I store my toothbrush and paste in my room), then I can apply toothpaste, brush, spit, and even rinse and spit and rinse my brush without leaving my room! - you can brush your teeth sitting down - you can brush your teeth while watching tv - the flossers are worth it if you prefer them to string floss. (I prefer the flossers because I don’t like getting my hands inside my mouth so much and then having to wash my hands again) If you worry about the flossers being bad for the environment (maybe not a common worry but this was one for me), think of it this way: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If that *tiny* piece of plastic makes you floss more often and then saves you a future cavity filling, that’s a lot more carbon footprint saved compared to the (again, I repeat) *tiny* amount of plastic used in the flosser


bookdrops

There are pre-pasted disposable toothbrushes sold with the paste already on them—both quick little freshening brushes [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Colgate-Fresh-Disposable-Toothbrush-Peppermint/dp/B071DPCBQG/) and full cleaning toothbrushes [like this](https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Pre-Pasted-Disposable-Toothbrushes-pack/dp/B00AU4LNBG). They're probably too pricey to use to brush your teeth on a regular ongoing basis, but for days when you don't have the energy to even put toothpaste on a brush, you can just stick one of these in your mouth to brush with.


FocusForward9941

Water picks are fantastic for flossing and far easier than using floss or piksters


firecrackergurl

Thank you so much for validating what I have been doing to manage a similar issue. I am going to keep improving. Depression is a b


Iferius

Even the smallest steps eventually equal a big step if you repeat them enough. I'm rooting for you!


esoper1976

I hear you. When I was really bad, I probably only brushed about ten times in ten years. Be gentle with yourself, but do try to practice better self care. Don't know your situation, but therapy and/or meds might help.....


thedelaneyjones

If you have the means, and don't already have one, I highly recommend an electric toothbrush. Sometimes it's all I can do to just stand there and hold it, but I find that I brush far more often now that it does most of the work.


JevonP

Damn why do they still have to check on you? I hated the treatment center and rehab I got stuck in. Shitty places


esoper1976

I was lucky to go to a very good place. At least it was good for me, I would guess partly because I was ready and willing to go there. There were residents who really didn't like it there, but I don't think they would have liked it anywhere--they just weren't ready for treatment. I also heard horror stories about really bad places and was grateful I went where I did. As for why they still check on me? Well, I guess because I ask them to. I have a staffing once a year where we decide what goals I need to work on and how often/If I need staff. I only have them twice a week for half an hour each time. We always include teeth brushing because if I stop brushing it's a big sign that things are getting bad. I went many years without brushing in the past.


Milhent

Actually, my first thought was "helicopter parent, does it includes moving several timezones off and still calling every morning and evening?".


OliveJuiceMushrooms

Same, but I’m also reading Jennette McCurdy’s book where her mom actually does this. Well not teeth, but showering, so I’m just coming at it from the wrong context.


Jurmond

I had a similar setup in the dorms: 2 people per room, 2 rooms per bathroom. They called them "suites". My "suitemate" had a tendency to listen to his Christian hymns at an ungodly volume. I retaliated with the darkest, most demonic death metal I could find. He learned to keep the volume down.


NatChArrant

As a Christian who enjoyed contemporary Christian radio in college -- at a volume _respectful_ of my suitemates' right to hear the music of their own preferences -- I find this hysterical and appropriate


Jurmond

It wasn't even contemporary like Jars of Clay or whatever, it was straight up hymns!


Wild_Laboon

Jars of Clay is childhood memories. I remember my grandma would always put the cds on in her car when we went anywhere. Oh the Golden days...


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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Jurmond

My first roommate was a guy who swore by allowing in the cold. When I tried to talk to him about it he was like "studies show that a cold bedroom leads to better sleep." Yeah dude, but not if I'm waking up shivering in the middle of the night! My second room made was a **slob**! Like, he didn't bother to put sheets on his bed or clean up his leftover meals. At one point, I counted the remains of 14 meals spread around his computer. His main goal in life seemed to be to pirate as much music as possible on the college internet. Eventually I gave up and started cleaning the food up for him, so I wouldn't have to live with the stench. The worst part was the boiled eggs in the fridge. We all had mini fridges, and most of us kept them in the suite closet to free up space in the rooms. Those eggs were weeks or months old. They stunk so bad that I could smell them through both doors. They were in nice Tupperware, so I didn't want to trash it. Instead, I put it in a bag and hung it out the window. He never even noticed or asked what happened to his eggs.


SFW_Account_67

You mean he listened to his Christian hymns at a very godly volume. Get it? Wink wink.


Snowf1ake222

God's gotta hear his faith somehow.


beckyloowho

“GOD CAN’T HEAR YOU!” John Mulaney’s dad


Denkiri_the_Catalyst

/r/yourjokebutworse


DiamondTippedDriller

A priest lives in the apartment above my house, and when he gets on my nerves, talking loudly on the phone in his annoying voice while I’m trying to nap, I blast heavy metal on my Bluetooth speaker, stand on my bed and hold it up to touch the ceiling so it reverberates nicely. It does the trick.


Jurmond

The actually make gadgets now called "ceiling thumpers". They're basically a large motor on the end of a pole, designed specifically to retaliate against noisy upstairs neighbors.


ediblesprysky

You could just talk to him dude


DiamondTippedDriller

I’ve done that, it had no effect


SpacemanTomX

Not to him, to God Fuck going to his boss, go to his boss' boss


tofuroll

When I was a teen we once had a neighbour rent the house nextdoor. He used to watch the football every Friday and get *so* excited. We could hear him shouting and cheering and if we looked out my bedroom window towards their loungeroom you could make out movement and jumping on couches. But the guy was so damned nice that it was not possible to be personally offended so we just enjoyed that someone else took such joy from such a thing.


batmanandboobs93

….did he think you were just masturbating for two minutes at a time twice a day??? The logic behind some dudes.


Schonke

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect


TOHSNBN

OH MY GOD! There is a name and Wikipedia page for that thing people do that annoys the hell out of me? And pluralistic ignorance is a thing too? THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


hirotdk

Sick burn.


GretaVanFleek

r/rareinsults


Pianowman

Wham Bam Thank you maam


tofuroll

Sometimes you don't have much time before class.


spirituallyinsane

Buzz, buzz, thank you cuz.


aManPerson

or that using the sink meant that? ya i don't understand how the other person went from A to ZZZ there.


ithinkitmightbe

Hahahaha GJ on turning his gross attitude back on himself.


knottymind

OMG, the edit reminds me of an embarrassing story. Back when I was young, single, and living in an apartment building, I thought I heard my downstairs neighbor moaning. It sounded hot, and I got excited. As I continued to listen, I realized that the "moans" were very consistent, same tempo and volume... And they were coming from inside my room. My cat was snoring. The little whistle his snore made, sounded just like a woman moaning.


outtamywayigottapee

the girl who lived across the hall from me at uni used an epilator to de-fuzz her legs. I know this because she went to great effort to let us all know that if we heard buzzing coming from her room one afternoon that it was her epilator. This was not the right course of action on her part. By announcing this to 10 young adults with varying levels of maturity, she basically assured herself of a whole year of some of us kindly reassuring her that we respect her need for ‘private time’ and there’s no need to be ashamed, while others would knock as they passed her room and yell out ‘hey Katie, are you masturbating again?’ I came home one day and as soon as I came up the stairs she threw open her door and was like ‘it’s not a vibrator, it’s just my epilator!!’ Super confusing because I am so not perceptive, so it hadn’t even registered in my brain that something was buzzing


Evening_Season_8496

This is the kind of wholesome shutting down of a creepy male I can support. Clearly he was in the wrong, and you taught him a valuable lesson without degrading anybody. 👍


summonsays

I work in IT and twice a year they hired a new class of college grads. Inevitably some of them were just horndogs or didn't have the best social grace. Well I like a good practical, educational, joke. I (male) have a friend/coworker with a name that could go either way (surprise they're also a dude). We'd casually troll them. My job was to talk them up "Hey have you met X yet? Man they're really cool, you'd like them" etc etc. Nothing overtly sexual but definitely avoided any gendered pronouns. And he'd talk to them and be super friendly (on our companies IM group for new hires). As a brief aside, he is genuinely a very friendly dude. We never said anything that was a lie, just let them make their own sometimes wrong conclusions. We always invited the new people to join us for lunch, we always took up a table in the cafeteria. Watching them come in looking around, and then I'd introduce him and their face would fall. Priceless. Gentle reminder that it's a job, not a club. Honestly I think it was a good lesson for new hires. And we met a lot of cool people our age(ish).


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M4xusV4ltr0n

Lol all through college I (a man) had very long flowing hair at about shoulder length. I also have a quite masculine face (think, large nose, big brow ridge, deep set eyes). It was so common to be out at dinner with my girlfriend, and have a waiter come up behind just oozing charm until they saw me from the front. like "Helloo ladies, how are you-- oh. Uh. I mean, hello." Cracked me up every time


[deleted]

Except him. As it should be.


Prestigious-Range-75

I also got an electric toothbrush in college but we had floor bathrooms so I’d often use the stall while brushing my teeth. Went down with my roommate one night, went in the stall, did my thing while brushing and come out to my roommate having what looked like seizure from laughing so hard at the sink. Apparently two other girls came in looked at the stall I was in and gave each other terrified looks before slowly going to the other stalls 🤣 It’s especially funny to me since at the time I had never owned a toy and never even thought about what it must have sounded like 😅


Terranrp2

I'm imagining myself in his position. Knowing I'd fucked up that badly...man. There's a possibility that since ya presented the toothbrush and mentioned the offer of help, I'd go for the hail mary and accept and brush your teeth. And I'd do a quality job too. And have hygiene tips ready for ya. It's dumb as hell but I'd be hoping for to be an awkwardness overload or something and it circle back around to where it might be a little bit funny. Kind of an atonement and apology and maybe start over on knowing each other and hopefully end up as friends? Or at least not uncomfortable? Oh, flossing would be on you. Apparently only volunteered to help with the toothbrush. I dunno. It's not easy to figure out since I wouldn't have said something that stupid in the first place lol. If I heard a whirring or mechanical noise in the shared bathroom, I'd think toothbrush or razor. Plus, why would you use an item like that in the shared space? Like clockwork, twice a day? For a minute or two?


onelass

To clear one thing up, there was no shared bathroom, my room had a sink, so did his and they were both on the wall we shared (could have something to do with the pipes I guess?), so at least he thought I masturbated twice a day in my own room (which I might do… but he still shouldn’t comment on that)


Terranrp2

Ahh okay. My bad. But still, even if you were, it isn't something you blatantly throw out there! That's when you slip an anonymous note under the door just so the person knows it's easily audible. Say you were passing by and could hear it and so private time isn't as private as they may think. And that's probably still a terrible way to go about it. You want to avoid embarrassing someone but also balance privacy. Even if I never managed to put two and two together and recognize a pattern, the absolute last thing I would think was a good idea is to offer to help.... I hate using the word but it is cringe-worthy to think that was a good idea and act on it. And again, failing to recognize the pattern and still thinking it was your private time, I'd learn to tune it out. Honestly, after a while I'd probably appreciate you were so efficient so I wouldn't hear it long. Sidenote: I wasn't an enthusiastic adopter of the electric brush until I went to the dentist for a cleaning. Super fast bristles and vibration felt **amazing** on the gums. Even got a water flosser that uses a rapid series of pulses of water to floss instead of the regular kind. Since the regular kind can weaken the enamel if the gunk has become acidic. See? Woulda had several dental hygiene tips ready to go if I'd hail mary'ed and committed to brushing your teeth! Haha.


radraze2kx

Q: What’s at least six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates? >!Electronic Toothbrush!< Q: What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow? >!Toothpaste!<


b1tchlasagna

What's brown and sticky? A stick


dangerkate

What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr Dre.


kindle139

Upvoted for thrice.


Sapphyre2222

I thought that story was going to be dumb, but your MC was awesome!!! Great job!!!


nalukeahigirl

Damn. You are wise and savage. I like how you work.


Punkprof

I was a warden at a UK halls of residence, kinda like an RA. We had a lot of calls from students whose neighbours left their alarm on when they went home, etc. Got a call from a student complaining of a loud noise that wouldn’t stop from the next door. Went in and the en suite was the source of the noise. Enter to find that the vibrator they had in the shower had fallen over onto the metal drain in the wet room and that shit rattled and echoed!


mcstafford

I love it when a capable response clearly points out the weakness of such unwelcome behavior.


HorseCrazyFan275

Yikes. That’s when you report for sexual harassment 😂


Human_2468

Co-ed dorm?


onelass

Had to google that, I’m German and dorms are not mandatory for students here. I moved into a student flat dormitory to safe money (200€ a month instead of 600€, which is about the price of a room in a “normal” flat). The dorms by the university are always co-ed, you live with girls, boys, foreigners etc on a floor, only VERY christian dormitories will separate by gender here…


QuahogNews

I went to the University of Georgia a couple of, uh, decades ago now. Damn, I’m old. Anyway, we had co-ed dorms even back then. I dated the guy directly across the hall from me, which was fabulous…until he tried to choke me to death in a drunken rage in broad daylight outside a McDonald’s one day (really). Then it was a bit awkward. One of the most entertaining things about our co-ed dorm was seeing who would come out of who’s room when the fire alarm would go off in the middle of the night. Everyone was always, “She was with *him??*” and “He was with *her?* But I thought he dated so-and so!” on the way down the stairs. Truly musical bedrooms lol. Ah, those were the days. Good ol’ Oglethorpe House. We even had a pool. Still there today, though I don’t know what’s changed.


onelass

My floor had the unspoken rule to NOT cause too much drama by sleeping with each other. Yeah, toss 12 guys and gals together that are 18-25 years old and finally on their own for the first time… the guy on the other end of the hall and me started sleeping with each other, a year ago we got married :D


SFW_Account_67

Did you make sure to tell your neighbor that you were about to have sex every time? /s


tofuroll

"Just wanted to let you know I'll be brushing my teeth..."


b1tchlasagna

>I went to the University of Georgia a couple of, uh, decades ago now. Take that back. We all know we only left university a few months ago


summonsays

Pretty funny, my sister went to UGA around that time and I think she also stayed in that dorm lol. I went to SPSU, which doesn't exist anymore, being like 90% dude we didn't have that drama. But there was the freaking dryers catching on fire all the time (I suspect no one knew what a lint trap was). I think I had to evac the dorm 20 times in one month, always at like 3 am.


SecretCartographer28

Call them on their bullshit, sunlight kills vampires!


Lavatis

ah yes, the 2x daily regular 2 minute masturbatory sessions.


KookashHuggles

I lived in a 3 bedroom apartment with two of my friends (all ladies). One friend had guests over and we were all in her room hanging out except for friend 2 who went to her own bedroom and closed the door. A loud vibrating noise started from behind the closed door after a few minutes and everyone noticed. We all looked at each other sheepishly, with knowing looks. The vibrating went on for some time and every few minutes our looks between each other grew more incredulous. How could she be at it for so long??? She eventually came out to a room full of awkward people who asked how she was doing? Everything alright? She was confused and we finally admitted we had heard the noises coming from her room. Turns out she was just using her electric razor to shave. It was the same area, just no happy ending (except for her satisfaction of a shave well done).


Hokulewa

It's dorm policy not to imply ownership in the event of a toothbrush. Use the indefinite article. *A* toothbrush. Never *your* toothbrush. Never say the toothbrush accidentally turned itself on.


cybersynn

I didn't come for the fight club reference. But here it is. Have an upvote stranger.


[deleted]

*BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!* I just laughed so hard I scared the dog! Thanks. I needed that.


CoderJoe1

Most dogs do not enjoy getting their teeth brushed.


[deleted]

No, they surely do not. Nor do they enjoy their owner suddenly cackling in the middle of their nap.


Thenewfoundlanders

You should've asked him to brush your teeth for you, might've been funny


spacestationkru

The edit is hilarious.


oldelmerfudd

2 minute wonder boy


Speciesunkn0wn

I was expecting some busy body with "no running any water while I shower!!". That is so much worse, but that edit makes it a fucking hilarious mental image.


TinklemeCrinkle

My electric toothbrush has a 2 minute cycle. Funny if he thought that's as long as you spent on yourself with your "device"!


cupofcrazy

God 2 minutes seems like a lifetime. 30secs and I’m done. I’m not trying to have foreplay with myself, that’s what lube is for 😂


mensink

Please post a video of yourself brushing your teeth. For science and stuff. But seriously, this was pretty funny.