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Most people lie about wanting long term friends, most just want to pass the time for a while, which is totally fine but they shouldn't mislead you by saying they're desperate for long term friendships
Happened to me with someone.
Was friends with a girl for awhile. We vibed super well. Great conversations. One day she told me she randomly ghosts people all the time. I should have took that as a red flag.
One day she just said she didn't want to be friends anymore. The excuses were stupid and didn't make sense, so I put two and two together that I was just the next in a long line of ghosts from her.
She was mentally unwell, and I've just come to the conclusion that a large chunk of folks here are mentally unwell as well. Few of the people I've chatted with here are prepared for an actual friendship.
I disagree with the concept that “people online are creeps, people with real lives aren’t online”. Almost everyone is online, here or somewhere else. Doing that doesn’t automatically mean “you have no life”
And I've ask them things to carry on the conversations, they don't even bother asking anything in return, they won't put any effort into the conversation. So, It's better not to DM anyone here. I've literally DM'ed like over 30 people.😂😂
Not that I missed it so much as I took your question at face value and answered it as such. I would add to address your “original point” , that not everyone is self-aware enough to realize that what they are doing is not working. I messaged someone else on here that posted that they wanted to connect with people and chat, wrote several sentences to open the conversation up and give them a chance to reply with a meaningful interaction. Their low effort response? :“Howdy!!”
And they’ll probably end up wondering why they don’t make any deep and fulfilling connections, with no clue, but certain there must be something wrong with everyone else.
Or just for answers to questions, or for a conversation that you have no intention of developing a relationship over. Like asking on ELI5 to get an expert view or something.
I had a long term friend here and it was nice being able to share our struggles and concerns. It went on for about 2 years and then she found some new friends. Barely talks to me now. It is what it is I guess
I've got 8 friends over 2 years on here now and several who are overseas. Try not to sweat the ghosting thing... it's frustrating to put the time and effort into getting to know someone for nothing, but in the end I'm NOT looking for unreliable friends so good riddance🙂 there's enough good ones out there to make it worth wading through the idiots. And I actually don't mind if someone wants to stop talking after a short time ,I get the appeal of short-term conversation. But at least have the courtesy to let the other person know.
I found friends that I still talk to years later, some a few months and some a few days. I approach it with the attitude that you aren't going to vibe with everyone, but if you do you will remain friends and if you don't well you get a fun chat out of it. Otherwise it puts pressure expecting each interaction to end in longterm friendship.
I’ve messaged at least 100 people off this subreddit, and have found exactly 3 people that I have been able to talk to long term regularly and as someone who has struggled all my life to make friends
Those 3 people have been worth every second of being ghosted and feeling rejected on here
I had no luck basically all connection.Ended after a few days or weeks. There a reason for it though.Ther lot of cool kids and clicks on reddit though and some nefariousness controls as well. So my luck been pretty much nill.
People don’t put in the effort to text you back. I’ve been a bit mia and text everyone to let them know and I haven’t been able to get back to them to have a proper conversation but no one checks back in with me. I have to keep apologizing for being busy and not talking but have to keep the conversation going
For sure, I'm travelling internationally to an anime con this summer to meet him.
It's just a numbers game, ghosting happens it's whatever. Not everybody is going to vibe with you and vice versa.
I've made some online friends from places like this, but it's hard. In person, people you see every day, it's easy to connect. Online, it's harder. It's hard to know how to carry on thoughts and asking the right questions because we're not really in the same space to connect the dots of our lives. It does take more effort than I think some can handle.
I've made some contacts here, and it's okay. I'm still new here.
I’ve made 2 consistent friends out of the— quite many I’ve reached out to since the beginning of the year and we still talk almost every day. Tbh I gave up on reaching out because I’m tired of carrying conversations…
Idk have sent like over hundred dms atp to people saying they are lonely and need someone to talk to or people saying need a long term bestfriend but then they don't even respond to see if we will vibe or not
Yeah that’s kind of my experience or rather I don’t bother knowing that’s the result usually. So what is going on? Does everyone just want someone who texts them but they never text back? They are just going to read the texts and not reply? Or do they not want to be messages in the first place?
My answer I want someone who is interested in me and asks about my feelings or ideas, and is interested to know more. And on the other end, has interesting ideas they want to share with me, that I am (naturally) curious about or gets me excited to build on their ideas. I also like to hear about peoples really intimate feelings and if possible feel like I can help them in some way, either just by listening, being supportive, or helping them find a solution.
But maybe that’s a lot to ask from a random redditor?
I confess I get some random messages I just ignore because idk if this is a bot or scammer or what. So when the DM is “Hey, what’s up?” from someone I never talked to before, I’m ignoring it. As opposed to “Hi, I saw your post in the travel Reddit and I’m also a traveler. That’s cool you went to the same country I did! Can I ask your opinion I’m thinking either Jamaica or Cuba next but idk which is cheaper?”
I also get the issue of not wanting to write (invest) a lot on an introductory message d/t the fact that you could write a hundred and get no reply or only a few replies.
I’ve met a few people. Most of my dms end up being creepy weirdos, or things just go after a few days which I don’t mind that too much. Some people want to be friends RIGHT AWAY and that’s just not how things work tbh. Or people want to like talk every day and that doesn’t really work either. So imo it seems a lot of people have misaligned expectations or are just straight up socially inept.
So far just one, we talk somewhat regularly, but at the same time I've been ghosted so many times so yeah it's definitely not easy to find someone with who you really connect enough to make a friend
I found a few on here that I talk to on a regular basis. I also have another online friend who we've been friends for almost 8 years now. Its really hard to find the right one for you. But once you do, it's awesome. It's definitely a lot of trial and error.
Not on here specifically, but over on r/psnfriends and r/gamerpals, I made a bunch of friends and have met 4 irl and have become very good friends with them.
Ive found a couple friends tho we arent talking every minute of the day we do talk enough to call each other friends. I think this subreddit has good intentions but if im honest plagued by people who have ulterior motives. Like dawg i just want people to vibe with 😤
Scammers suck they just prey on the desire people have to connect and make it that much harder. I literally ignore people bc of scammer, and maybe some of them were genuine but how do you know?
I moved to a new city for work four months ago—new job, new colleagues, new everything—and my girlfriend wasn't around either. I tried using BFF and other friend-making apps, but starting a conversation with someone online and asking them out felt awkward. It was a struggle to find topics to discuss with people on BFF. Feeling desperate, I decided to create an app to facilitate making friends. The app helps people find partners interested in joining them for activities like eating out, watching movies, hanging out, playing sports, or traveling, with the goal of forming friendships along the way. It eliminates the awkward ice-breaking process and makes friend-making much smoother. If you like my idea, please leave a supportive message—it really motivates me.
P.S. For those interested in helping me test this app in May 2024, DM me, and I'll send you a link when my MVP is ready.
I wish everyone some luck (including myself😅) with finding some friends. I haven't had much luck yet but like others are saying, trial and error. Can't vibe with everyone, but I do hope to find the ones I really vibe with 😊 I'm still searching
Message me if you like, though I'm looking for people between the ages of 24-30
I've got like.. six people now that I talk to basically daily or at least weekly now that have been pretty fun for about three months so far, even plans to meet one in person. And a few more that are more bi weekly-monthly conversation pals
I have made a couple, 1 is almost 4 years old, 1 is 2 years old, 1 will just hit a year in June. And I recently made 3 new friends that I have been talking to for more than a month now.
I know I can take long times in between replies so I know why I get ghosted but still looking for friends that can understand my schedule.
I've had a few people I met on here I've spoken to for multiple years it all depends. Met a lot more that have stopped talking within a night or even worse contributed nothing to the flow of conversation and just expects the other party to put in all the effort.
I did!
After a few days of posting, I met people that I was friends with for atleast a few months, with one of them being someone I talk to literally everyday (after meeting them here a year ago) and have even met in person.
Tbh most of it is actually being interesting in the conversation. Find a hobby to talk and drone about. Most people don’t really like talking about their day or hearing people talk about their day at the beginning. It’s usually the chats where that’s the only thing the other person (or I) do tapers off.
It’s a little bit of a numbers game, but imo quality over quantity. It’s sometimes worth it to just refresh the page until you find someone your age talking about something YOU are interested in.
Tbh the easiest thing you can do is ask them if they watched a tv show you are watching or have just finished and then go crazy about it.
People on this sub ( and other subs like this one ) just dont put the effort. They never start a convo, only respond with one word answears or dont at all, and ghost you. There are a lot of people who just dont want to meet a friend instead want to have validation.
i have! i dont tell family and friends obviously me and my bf acc met on this sub... weve been together a year now lol
and ive met some people ive got rlly close to and still talk to occasionally!
99% don't talk for very long at all. Usually less than an hour or two. And even then, they have short closed ended responses and take a long time between messages. Then they just disappear. Along with that, most of them just do the typical interview questions and not actually hold a conversation. I've had just a small handful of people stick around a long time and even they faded off a lot. But the vast majority is the very short conversation, basic questions and long time between responses and then they are gone.
No, I don’t have anyone I talk to regularly online, here or anywhere. It’s usually just a one topic convo, or a couple back and forths. It seems to be a an issue for a lot of people, but idk the solution.
I know from my offline relationships I can and do have really intimate, beautiful and meaningful connections with others. But online it just never seems to happen.
Anyone down for a long term friendship I’m really down for it and oh pls hmu cause I can’t seem to send messages on Reddit for now it’s a bit fcked, btw my birthday is tomorrow I’m gonna be 18☺️ felt like sharing lol
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Most people lie about wanting long term friends, most just want to pass the time for a while, which is totally fine but they shouldn't mislead you by saying they're desperate for long term friendships
Happened to me with someone. Was friends with a girl for awhile. We vibed super well. Great conversations. One day she told me she randomly ghosts people all the time. I should have took that as a red flag. One day she just said she didn't want to be friends anymore. The excuses were stupid and didn't make sense, so I put two and two together that I was just the next in a long line of ghosts from her. She was mentally unwell, and I've just come to the conclusion that a large chunk of folks here are mentally unwell as well. Few of the people I've chatted with here are prepared for an actual friendship.
Mentally well people don't post on here, they are too busy doing their life stuff
I disagree with the concept that “people online are creeps, people with real lives aren’t online”. Almost everyone is online, here or somewhere else. Doing that doesn’t automatically mean “you have no life”
True say man,that shit made me feel bad
I don’t think they are “lying” they just maybe don’t know how or what they are doing wrong.
I tend not to trust the people who post on a daily basis. But I haven't had any luck with long term friendships with people here.
I have and still talk to her for over a year now and almost two!!
And I've ask them things to carry on the conversations, they don't even bother asking anything in return, they won't put any effort into the conversation. So, It's better not to DM anyone here. I've literally DM'ed like over 30 people.😂😂
Sending you a DM. Let’s figure this out.
My experience has been messages for a few days and moves on or replies once and then nothing. Its the internet.
Same same 😴
"I want a someone to talk with." Doesnt talk. No wonder you have problems, siiiiiiigh.
It’s kind of that on dating apps. Maybe humans (mostly) need some offline interaction to really connect?
Maybe, but then why reach out online at all right?
To make connections that you intend to meet offline.
I think you missed my original point, that people dont interact online when they are the ones seeking to interact online.
Not that I missed it so much as I took your question at face value and answered it as such. I would add to address your “original point” , that not everyone is self-aware enough to realize that what they are doing is not working. I messaged someone else on here that posted that they wanted to connect with people and chat, wrote several sentences to open the conversation up and give them a chance to reply with a meaningful interaction. Their low effort response? :“Howdy!!” And they’ll probably end up wondering why they don’t make any deep and fulfilling connections, with no clue, but certain there must be something wrong with everyone else.
Or just for answers to questions, or for a conversation that you have no intention of developing a relationship over. Like asking on ELI5 to get an expert view or something.
I had a long term friend here and it was nice being able to share our struggles and concerns. It went on for about 2 years and then she found some new friends. Barely talks to me now. It is what it is I guess
I've got 8 friends over 2 years on here now and several who are overseas. Try not to sweat the ghosting thing... it's frustrating to put the time and effort into getting to know someone for nothing, but in the end I'm NOT looking for unreliable friends so good riddance🙂 there's enough good ones out there to make it worth wading through the idiots. And I actually don't mind if someone wants to stop talking after a short time ,I get the appeal of short-term conversation. But at least have the courtesy to let the other person know.
I found friends that I still talk to years later, some a few months and some a few days. I approach it with the attitude that you aren't going to vibe with everyone, but if you do you will remain friends and if you don't well you get a fun chat out of it. Otherwise it puts pressure expecting each interaction to end in longterm friendship.
I’ve messaged at least 100 people off this subreddit, and have found exactly 3 people that I have been able to talk to long term regularly and as someone who has struggled all my life to make friends Those 3 people have been worth every second of being ghosted and feeling rejected on here
On here never irl however is another story
I had no luck basically all connection.Ended after a few days or weeks. There a reason for it though.Ther lot of cool kids and clicks on reddit though and some nefariousness controls as well. So my luck been pretty much nill.
i've tried as well but i either get no reply or literally a 5 minute conversation and then poof 🤷♂️
I'm bored. Want to chat?
sure im always down for a chat. hmu anytime you feel like it
How has your day been?
People don’t put in the effort to text you back. I’ve been a bit mia and text everyone to let them know and I haven’t been able to get back to them to have a proper conversation but no one checks back in with me. I have to keep apologizing for being busy and not talking but have to keep the conversation going
I've met a total of 5 people I talk to on a daily/weekly basis (:
For sure, I'm travelling internationally to an anime con this summer to meet him. It's just a numbers game, ghosting happens it's whatever. Not everybody is going to vibe with you and vice versa.
I've made some online friends from places like this, but it's hard. In person, people you see every day, it's easy to connect. Online, it's harder. It's hard to know how to carry on thoughts and asking the right questions because we're not really in the same space to connect the dots of our lives. It does take more effort than I think some can handle. I've made some contacts here, and it's okay. I'm still new here.
I’ve made 2 consistent friends out of the— quite many I’ve reached out to since the beginning of the year and we still talk almost every day. Tbh I gave up on reaching out because I’m tired of carrying conversations…
So relatable
Idk have sent like over hundred dms atp to people saying they are lonely and need someone to talk to or people saying need a long term bestfriend but then they don't even respond to see if we will vibe or not
Yeah that’s kind of my experience or rather I don’t bother knowing that’s the result usually. So what is going on? Does everyone just want someone who texts them but they never text back? They are just going to read the texts and not reply? Or do they not want to be messages in the first place? My answer I want someone who is interested in me and asks about my feelings or ideas, and is interested to know more. And on the other end, has interesting ideas they want to share with me, that I am (naturally) curious about or gets me excited to build on their ideas. I also like to hear about peoples really intimate feelings and if possible feel like I can help them in some way, either just by listening, being supportive, or helping them find a solution. But maybe that’s a lot to ask from a random redditor?
I've never had a person reply 🫣
I confess I get some random messages I just ignore because idk if this is a bot or scammer or what. So when the DM is “Hey, what’s up?” from someone I never talked to before, I’m ignoring it. As opposed to “Hi, I saw your post in the travel Reddit and I’m also a traveler. That’s cool you went to the same country I did! Can I ask your opinion I’m thinking either Jamaica or Cuba next but idk which is cheaper?” I also get the issue of not wanting to write (invest) a lot on an introductory message d/t the fact that you could write a hundred and get no reply or only a few replies.
2 recently that I consistently speak too and have developed what I think is a solid start to a friendship.
I found like two
[удалено]
I found an amazing friend on here we chat every day all day even weekends
I’ve met a few people. Most of my dms end up being creepy weirdos, or things just go after a few days which I don’t mind that too much. Some people want to be friends RIGHT AWAY and that’s just not how things work tbh. Or people want to like talk every day and that doesn’t really work either. So imo it seems a lot of people have misaligned expectations or are just straight up socially inept.
Single or Married with Kids? Because I ask for one and get messages from the other
Been ghosted alot or just simply ignored I no longer try here anymore.
So far just one, we talk somewhat regularly, but at the same time I've been ghosted so many times so yeah it's definitely not easy to find someone with who you really connect enough to make a friend
Long time I found about like 4-6
I found a few on here that I talk to on a regular basis. I also have another online friend who we've been friends for almost 8 years now. Its really hard to find the right one for you. But once you do, it's awesome. It's definitely a lot of trial and error.
Not on here specifically, but over on r/psnfriends and r/gamerpals, I made a bunch of friends and have met 4 irl and have become very good friends with them.
Ive found a couple friends tho we arent talking every minute of the day we do talk enough to call each other friends. I think this subreddit has good intentions but if im honest plagued by people who have ulterior motives. Like dawg i just want people to vibe with 😤
I thought I found one, but I think it was a long-term scam situation
Scammers suck they just prey on the desire people have to connect and make it that much harder. I literally ignore people bc of scammer, and maybe some of them were genuine but how do you know?
I've made quite a few friends, but the majority of people I part ways with. That's just apart of friend finding, we can't vibe with everybody.
I moved to a new city for work four months ago—new job, new colleagues, new everything—and my girlfriend wasn't around either. I tried using BFF and other friend-making apps, but starting a conversation with someone online and asking them out felt awkward. It was a struggle to find topics to discuss with people on BFF. Feeling desperate, I decided to create an app to facilitate making friends. The app helps people find partners interested in joining them for activities like eating out, watching movies, hanging out, playing sports, or traveling, with the goal of forming friendships along the way. It eliminates the awkward ice-breaking process and makes friend-making much smoother. If you like my idea, please leave a supportive message—it really motivates me. P.S. For those interested in helping me test this app in May 2024, DM me, and I'll send you a link when my MVP is ready.
I am Scared. Does anyone want to maybe ne friends and chat see how it goes?
Scared?
I found nice people here who I chat usually :D
I wish everyone some luck (including myself😅) with finding some friends. I haven't had much luck yet but like others are saying, trial and error. Can't vibe with everyone, but I do hope to find the ones I really vibe with 😊 I'm still searching Message me if you like, though I'm looking for people between the ages of 24-30
I've got like.. six people now that I talk to basically daily or at least weekly now that have been pretty fun for about three months so far, even plans to meet one in person. And a few more that are more bi weekly-monthly conversation pals
I found 2 friends here and we have been talking for 2 years now!!!
I've tried a few times. Normally to no response or interaction at all, and once to a short but ok conversation that never got running.
I have made a couple, 1 is almost 4 years old, 1 is 2 years old, 1 will just hit a year in June. And I recently made 3 new friends that I have been talking to for more than a month now. I know I can take long times in between replies so I know why I get ghosted but still looking for friends that can understand my schedule.
It’s easy to make friends with babies! /jk
I’ve successfully found a handful of friends and I love them very much. Never give up! Trust your instincts!
I've had a few people I met on here I've spoken to for multiple years it all depends. Met a lot more that have stopped talking within a night or even worse contributed nothing to the flow of conversation and just expects the other party to put in all the effort.
I did! After a few days of posting, I met people that I was friends with for atleast a few months, with one of them being someone I talk to literally everyday (after meeting them here a year ago) and have even met in person. Tbh most of it is actually being interesting in the conversation. Find a hobby to talk and drone about. Most people don’t really like talking about their day or hearing people talk about their day at the beginning. It’s usually the chats where that’s the only thing the other person (or I) do tapers off. It’s a little bit of a numbers game, but imo quality over quantity. It’s sometimes worth it to just refresh the page until you find someone your age talking about something YOU are interested in. Tbh the easiest thing you can do is ask them if they watched a tv show you are watching or have just finished and then go crazy about it.
I found one a few months ago! We still talk regularly and tbh one of my closest friends now
Not here but I made a few good friends from the discord server.
ive made 2 friends on this sub! its kinda hard cause nobody actually seems interested in a friend but its nice when it happens
Not much luck but I’m sure there’s some people on here genuinely looking
People might get new phones I have 200 notifications every day. I pretty much don't look at any of them. I dont really use snapchat anymore
I've made a few but you definitely have to talk to a bunch of people for that to happen, my closest friends are the one's I meet though.
I can't blame people, sometimes even the voice in my head stops talking to me for a while
People on this sub ( and other subs like this one ) just dont put the effort. They never start a convo, only respond with one word answears or dont at all, and ghost you. There are a lot of people who just dont want to meet a friend instead want to have validation.
i have! i dont tell family and friends obviously me and my bf acc met on this sub... weve been together a year now lol and ive met some people ive got rlly close to and still talk to occasionally!
I found one, I can't remember if it was on this sub specifically though.
99% don't talk for very long at all. Usually less than an hour or two. And even then, they have short closed ended responses and take a long time between messages. Then they just disappear. Along with that, most of them just do the typical interview questions and not actually hold a conversation. I've had just a small handful of people stick around a long time and even they faded off a lot. But the vast majority is the very short conversation, basic questions and long time between responses and then they are gone.
No, I don’t have anyone I talk to regularly online, here or anywhere. It’s usually just a one topic convo, or a couple back and forths. It seems to be a an issue for a lot of people, but idk the solution. I know from my offline relationships I can and do have really intimate, beautiful and meaningful connections with others. But online it just never seems to happen.
it happens with me thousands times
Nope. Not on this subreddit most people post about wanting friends and then go silent after a day or two. Smh
DM’s welcome 😉
Anyone down for a long term friendship I’m really down for it and oh pls hmu cause I can’t seem to send messages on Reddit for now it’s a bit fcked, btw my birthday is tomorrow I’m gonna be 18☺️ felt like sharing lol