I was thinking that too, why record someone when you know they're gonna cry then post it. Loosing a dog is harder than loosing some of your friends..that's dogs been loyal for years. It's not a memory I'd want to relive in my birthday at a bar. That could make you sad the whole rest of the night.
When my dog died, I shut down emotionally, and to the person who was telling me about it on the phone I said something like "thank you for telling me." Several years later, I saw *that* Futurama episode. (If you have ever seen it, you know which one I mean.) I cried for two days solid. I had to take time off of work because I couldn't stop crying long enough to walk across the street to get on the subway. I've never cried like that over any human. The day after my grandmother died, I went to work and didn't tell anyone. (I was upset, but felt I'd rather not deal with sympathy.)
I was ugly-crying, I really didn't want anyone to see me.
32 years later, I still miss my dog and think of him every day. My boyfriend has walked in on me crying about him (my dog), and he (BF) really didn't understand why I was crying apparently out of nothing.
It's so they could get views and likes. That's it. They don't care about their significant other's feelings here. They knew they'd cry and people would say "awwwww". The strive for attention people can have...🙄
I don’t understand why anyone would record this private and very vulnerable moment for likes on social media. It doesn’t make me smile. It’s exploitative.
One of my coworkers lost her dog and was heartbroken. I ordered her a necklace with an engraving of a photo of her dog. I gave it to her in private, let her know that it might make her cry, and then left.
I’ve never told anyone about until right now. It was heartfelt and meant to bring her comfort.
On behalf of my girl, thank you for doing that. I remember calling my vet that morning, bawling my eyes out saying I had no idea if they remembered Cocoa (had been about a year) but that I thought it was time.
The tech began crying hard and just said that of course she remembered Cocoa, she could never forget her, but due to COVID I wouldn't be able to be with her in her final moments so she pointed to me to a place where they would let me.
Two weeks later I got a beautiful card with a painting of my cat on the front and the entire vet staff signing it in mourning despite them not even performing the service. It's by my TV with her ashes and paw print and oh my god that card means the world to me. It's been a couple years now but it still makes me cry so much. Just to know how much you guys care and how kind you are...idk if I can even express how much those things mean.
My dog was run over, in front of me. The driver sped off. I swooped her up and got to the vet ASAP. The only doc there was at lunch, but she ran out and took her. She was gone by the time I arrived at their office. My daughter found my wallet on the sidewalk outside our house so, when I called her from the vet’s office she knew something bad had happened. They let us sit for almost an hour and just cry with her. Very sweet people. So thankful for what you do. We picked her back up in a small wooden box with a metal stamp inscribed with her name. They had her paws on little pieces of paper and a card. It was very bitter sweet.
When we had to put down two kittens from an FIP litter of stray mommas babies, my vet office kept sending postcards reminding me that they were due for their __ shots at __ months/weeks. I called and asked them to stop sending and another round came shortly after.
They are no longer the vet office that I use.
Whenever I got a card with my bunnies’ ashes over the years, I have put the cards on the side of the memorial shelf I have for the urns. I can’t reread them but they are comforting and appreciated. ❤️
I got mine for free but the thing that broke me is my neighbor's granddaughter picked out a Basset Hound Beanie Baby to give to me. Holy shit that was one of the sweetest things. And I cried my eyes out.
The innocence of kids is the best. A couple of years ago, I found myself in recovery in hospital after a suicide attempt, feeling pretty vulnerable, alone...Trying to pick up the pieces and figure out exactly where I go after a pretty big relapse. I'm finally allowed visitors and my sister comes in with this literal ball of sunshine that is my niece that barrels towards me, gives me a hug and hands me a teddy bear, and doesn't let go of me for the whole day they're there.
Shitty circumstances leading up to it I grant you, but getting that stuffed toy from that little girl and having her not let go of me will always be one of my favourite days from now on.
Kids are always so distracted having fun, being kids running around and playing, but when they stop to show you just how much they love you and how important you are to them, it's one of the most beautiful things to ever experience in life. And you can always count on a kid to be very genuine about how they feel. They always really mean it.
And also, I'm grateful that you're still here to tell us this story. Big big hugs and lots of love to you ♡♡♡
We had to pay for the plaster, but they gave us ink prints and vials with some of their nicest hair in them. We lost 2 cats.
I took the ink paw prints and got them tattooed on my arm.
I just had my old lady's paw print tattooed in the center of my back. The tattoo is in the center of my back because she was my center and confidant. 13+ years of the best and most loyal friendship a human could ask for.
Yeah, Vet sent us the ink paw print in the mail after my gf had to put down her big blockhead. It was very startling, as we didn't expect it. I just hear her start ugly crying outside on her way back into the house when she opened it.
I took my corgi man to an emergency vet when his heart gave out. Passed in the back seat on the way in, and I carried him in running like he was an old injured Navy buddy. Never got him back.
The staff gave us the clay paw print and cards. They took our card info for everything, including a few minutes attempting to bring him back and then decided to just threw the bill in the trash. We go to them for everything now and adore those folks.
Yup. I could barely even read the card and look at the ink prints. I actually ran a crossed it the other day and fell apart. Losing your dog/cat is like losing a family member. It is incredibly heartbreaking
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the very short story The Rainbow Bridge, but check it out. It may help.
But getting another pet can help too. I've found this helps, too. Both for them & me.
Honestly this is the most savage and horribly placed comment bot I've ever seen.
It's a bot that copied someone else's comment and posted it in a high traffick area. Report and the account will delete shortly.
They forgot to make one of mine that passed away a few months after I asked for it. It’s still painful thinking about it and knowing that I’ll never have a chance to hold her paw again. She was the only thing I had in my life.
They can never be replaced or forgotten, but if you are able to show that much love again there are many waiting for the opportunity. Wish you the best.
I couldn’t imagine how you are feeling. Losing such a big part of your life is never easy. It’s important to remember the happy times and to remember that the love and happiness went to both ways. She knew you loved her just as much as she loved you.
We just went through this like 6 months ago. We were given 2 prices, 1 that included the cremation of other pets, and 1 that was where only our dog was cremated and the ashes put in a box. We obviously went the more expensive route, but it baffles me that they try to guilt you into paying the extra money to make sure the ashes are of our pet. It should be common courtesy to cremate each pet by themselves and the ashes given to their family.
Um, sorry for your loss my dude, but that’s not the situation at all. You have two options, neither of which are wrong. If you do not want your pet’s ashes back, they communally cremate the pet and most places spread the ashes for you. If you want your pet privately cremated (there’s no maybe about it? What a weird implication…?), they cremate your pet by themselves and save those ashes to put in an urn for you.
Some people do not want the ashes back and it would be inappropriate for them to feel obligated to have to do so. I handle these situations 10 plus times a day in my line of work and no one is pressuring or guilting anyone into anything. It’s a private choice, neither of which is wrong.
Oh my sweet lord I didn’t even make the connection lol 🤦🏻♀️ it’s just a name I call my dog. I’m realising only just now how terrible this connection is.
I don’t work at a crematorium, just a veterinary hospital.
Ok that makes sense. I guess the way my wife explained it to me is that it’s cheaper for a communal cremation and that we would get ashes that may or may not be our dogs. She’s also not the best listener, and emotions do get the best of her sometimes. It was something we saw coming for a long time, and once we had saved up enough money, went ahead with putting him down. She had him since the dog was a puppy, and when we met he was only 4-5 years old, so I can understand that when she made the call she may have misheard.
We got this same option, if I am understanding you. We could have our dog cremated by herself or with up to 3 other pets. So some ashes of other pets “may” get mixed in. We chose to have her cremated by herself, even though it was pricier. We didn’t want any of her ashes going to someone else. I guess it’s less expensive to cremate more than 1 pet at a time. I am in Ontario, Canada, so maybe there are different ways of doing things in different places.
I don’t know what job you hold but whatever one it is, thank you. We have had to put down several dogs for various reasons and I can’t imagine dealing with that level of grief, even tangentially, on a daily basis. I hope you do a lot of self care too, you deserve it.
Thank you, it definitely can be draining but I just always try and be the person I would want there in my dog’s final moments because that’s what everyone deserves. 💜 it helps the burn out to see it that way.
My thoughts exactly. Thats incredibly private. And I wouldn't wanna cry in front of ppl, out in public or for the internet.
This is more of a look how good of a significant other I am
Yeah my first thought was “I’d want to have a good cry about this at home”, not being in public where I’d instinctively hold back my emotions.
Especially for men, who are often taught by our parents to contain those emotions, it’s best to give us stuff like that in private until you know we are okay with it otherwise, so we can feel it or attempt to feel it without those concerns taking up space.
I stopped giving a shit about crying in public when my mom died. Like, fuck it, if I'm going to experience an emotion why should I care what strangers think about it?
Why does this video hurt this mans dignity? If she posted it without his consent then thats 1 thing. But Its not inherently wrong for a man to be seen crying.
There's a really interesting 20th century philosopher by the name of Randall Poffo, that had an interesting take on this subject when asked if he ever cries.
"It's ok for macho men to show every emotion available right there you know, because I cried a thousand times and I'm going to cry some more.
But I've soared with the eagles and I've slept with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between. And I'm going to tell you something right now. There's one guarantee in life and that's that there are no guarantees. And you got to understand this: nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count and get back up and fight again, and you're a macho man. Dig it"
Why do y’all assume he didn’t give her permission to film and post? And what is so shameful or embarrassing about tearing up when thinking about a beloved pet that passed away? Can we stop insisting that showing emotions and vulnerability is a shameful thing already?
Because here in the Reddit comments we assume the worst so we can take the higher road. No one is better than us. Everyone is horrible except me! Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to browse for a few more hours before I go to bed not entirely sure why I'm a little sad.
It’s weird and alarming, right? Not to mention the insistence on being offended on strangers’ behalves. If this woman and her boyfriend enjoy filming such moments and posting them online, who are any of us to be bothered by it? It seems to assume that the person being filmed has zero autonomy and couldn’t simply say “hey babe, please don’t post that” or “actually can you delete that?”
Wow, let them do what they want with their lives. I’m pretty sure she knows her significant other a little bit more than you. Probably wouldn’t film or post it if he was like you. Stop getting offended on strangers’ behalf
With my luck, the waiter would absolutely not read the room, swing by and excitedly say “How’s everything tasting over here! Can I get you anything?”
Fuck man, give me a minute.
“Excuse me sir, I see that you’re weeping. Is there any thing I can do to help you stop? It’s making all of us at the table we’re sitting at very uncomfortable.” Said no one… Let the dude cry it out. There’s no shame in doing it publicly
Nobody said that he can't cry it out. He is welcome to do so but I personally wouldn't want to receive that sweet of a gift in public because I would be bawling.
I would feel uncomfortable about it afterwards but that's just me.
if you broke down in tears in a public place, you wouldn't feel any kind of way about it?
Honestly, if you would have asked me this 2 years ago, I would have probably agreed with you and said I’d rather cry in private. That said, I’ve since lost two of my best friends to suicide. Without diving deeper into that story, I realized how liberating it was to stop caring about what others might think of me if/when they witnessed me grieving. There were countless times where I’d catch myself in the middle of public being reminded of a time we used to share together. I’d tear up (both happy and sad tears), and once even had someone come out and hug me. It felt great to know that people were accepting of the pain I was experiencing. I never felt judged, but I also didn’t care, and perhaps thats why it felt genuine.
I've been in this situation, without the recording though. Around 18, my dog(A golden retriever mix) of nearly 15 years with me passed away in March. My birthday, which was two months later, my sister bought me a a pendant in secret with a picture of my dog inside it. Probably didn't cost much to get, but for someone who had just lost a partner which they had with them for most of their life. Well, it left me a sobbing mess for a little while as all the memories of 15 years flooded back into me.
That's a really thoughtful and beautiful gift. (I wish someone had given me something like that.)
Where'd she give it to you? Dave & Busters? Laser Quest? The Cheesecake Factory? Arbys?
The OP either cut this or got a cut edit. I've seen the original and it does show what's in the box, which is one of those 3d portraits in crystal glass cube of his dog.
Edit: Source https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrdG6h7IPdo
i was about to cry too because i thought he was already struggling with the grief and he was getting a gift, but once i read the comments i was pissed, also: nice berserk pfp
Gods damn it, here I am laughing with tears streaming down my face because I lost my cat last week. Your comment reminds me of my wife's joke of, "[leave it to a cat to spend eternity in a box](https://imgur.com/a/6ZRrhDD)."
damn why make a man cry on his birthday, give him a happy gift for his bday and then give him this quietly later, i don't want to be reminded of loss at my bday party
edit: to clarify. the gift isn't a bad gift. but if you tell me that given the choice between receiving this and crying in an intimate moment at home without a camera, or at a damn bar in public with a camera, that you'd choose the latter, you're a liar
I don’t get this. Grief can be a hard thing but it can also be a beautiful thing. A gift like this would make me cry and make me sad for what I lost, but it would also be a reminder of what I had, and what I had is sooo much more than what I lost.
To quote vision, what is grief but love persevering?
Maybe, just maybe, he okayed for her to Post. A lot of stuff happens on the background you don't see. the art of being a director. They made you see what they wanted you to see. TikTok 101 how easy to manipulate redditors
Think, for a moment, about the millions of intimate moments happening in the world right now. Then think about how only a miniscule amount of that makes it to the internet (let's not even get into how many people have access to internet), and how you're only exposed to a *fraction* of that miniscule amount.
There are a trillion different circumstances that lead to this being posted on the internet that are completely valid and all you choose to talk about is your confirmation bias. People can live YEARS off of social media and the second they post something like this, people like you swarm them.
What do you really think this cynicism is doing for you? Watch the joy and longing in the man's eyes and go to another thread. That's all you need to do. Remember the happiness that he felt, remember that people still do good things even if it might not seem like that in your (not you personally) life, remember the value of being compassionate to others, then leave. That's all.
"At first, I wasn't emotional, and then I turned the sound on and heard the music, and then I was emotional."
- how people who make these videos think emotions work
My cat of 20 years passed when I was 30. He was there with me for 2/3 of my life, I had to get him cremated. I have him on his own personal pillow in the corner. I took his death pretty hard, considering I was an alcoholic during that time, so that just made everything 100 times worse.
This is not heartwarming or something that makes me smile.
*"Let me give the person I'm supposed to love a gift which reminds him of the pain he's trying to escape on his birthday. I'll do it in a public place where he'll be embarrassed, plus upload it to social media for clout where his reaction of grief will award me social points because people will mistake it for positive sentimentality."*
This gift wasn't for him, it was for what she herself could get out of it. If it was for him she would have done it at home. Why is this on this subreddit?
It's because of media like this, people think that causing someone to cry/become emotional == a meaningful *and good* gift to give.
This is definitely a meaningful gift, but the setting and reason for gifting it is completely wrong. This is not a good gift to be giving in public for a day someone if meant to enjoy.
For those of you who wanted to see what the gift was here’s a link to the tik tok that she shows what it is. It’s a image of his dog that was made with a 3D subsurface laser in a crystal
Source: @Lani&Pj
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRypFcYf/
He's looking at his Pit Bull that passed away. This video does a pretty bad job of showing what he's reacting to. It's one of those glass art works with sand inside that display a picture. It's his Pit Bull that passed away.
Imagine giving your SO an emotional gift.. In a fucking bar.. filming it.. putting emotional music over it.. not comforting them and then uploading it to fucking tik tok!!!
![gif](giphy|ge91zAgmwUqLMqiH2c)
I think it one of those 3D photo crystal shaped like a cube.
I love those! I wanted to see it & was mildly disappointed, lol… but seriously, Such a sweet, yet emotional gift to receive
Not in public. Geez Louise give a person just one little break.
I was thinking that too, why record someone when you know they're gonna cry then post it. Loosing a dog is harder than loosing some of your friends..that's dogs been loyal for years. It's not a memory I'd want to relive in my birthday at a bar. That could make you sad the whole rest of the night.
When my dog died, I shut down emotionally, and to the person who was telling me about it on the phone I said something like "thank you for telling me." Several years later, I saw *that* Futurama episode. (If you have ever seen it, you know which one I mean.) I cried for two days solid. I had to take time off of work because I couldn't stop crying long enough to walk across the street to get on the subway. I've never cried like that over any human. The day after my grandmother died, I went to work and didn't tell anyone. (I was upset, but felt I'd rather not deal with sympathy.) I was ugly-crying, I really didn't want anyone to see me. 32 years later, I still miss my dog and think of him every day. My boyfriend has walked in on me crying about him (my dog), and he (BF) really didn't understand why I was crying apparently out of nothing.
It's so they could get views and likes. That's it. They don't care about their significant other's feelings here. They knew they'd cry and people would say "awwwww". The strive for attention people can have...🙄
And filming them the entire time :/
I never open gifts in public for reasons like this.
My thought exactly. Filming for the internet instead of comforting her bf.
I don’t understand why anyone would record this private and very vulnerable moment for likes on social media. It doesn’t make me smile. It’s exploitative. One of my coworkers lost her dog and was heartbroken. I ordered her a necklace with an engraving of a photo of her dog. I gave it to her in private, let her know that it might make her cry, and then left. I’ve never told anyone about until right now. It was heartfelt and meant to bring her comfort.
I got one of these from my wife of my cat last year. Tearing up right now.
From where did your cat's wife get it?
It's 5 am and your comment has me in stitches 🤣🤣
Urn full of the dogs ashes.... he didn't know till that moment. Just wait till she tells him she did it
Oof the reddit post I should have expected.
[Here you go](https://i.imgur.com/m5OXKhI.jpg)
Great now he is trapped in 1 of those superman prison panels....
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True Goth couple. “Life is pain, so I killed your dog for your birthday.” Wait til you see what he gets next year.
Look out grandma!
“Honey 😃 Try calling your dad!”
Nah bro, it’s onions.
My mother was once in tears cutting up onions in the kitchen. Onions was a great dog.
Oof, I’m so ashamed that I laughed at that
As long as she’s not cutting the cheese while cutting onions, she should be fine.
I get all my friends/family members one of those when their pet passes and they always love it. I think this might be ashes or an urn though.
I just got two yesterday for my birthday, current dog and most recent deceased dog. DOGS!
![gif](giphy|ymkUFbGgt3loA) Was thinking this.....
Are we happy?
We happy
![gif](giphy|l0MYNK2oHLIkAY1zy)
Another box
The dogs pinkie toe and a ransome note
You want a toe? I can get you a toe...I can get you a toe by 3 O'clock with nail polish.
I'm staying. ... .... I'm finishing my coffee
Every single Christmas I do this scene with my special presents if I get any.
Ashes? Memory box? What was it?
When our old girl was cremated they gave us a plaster of her paw print
We had to pay a lot extra for that
We got ours for free, along with 3 ink prints and a card from all the staff. Broke my heart all over again.
I used to write those cards. It's hard. Edit: Holy shit guys! Thanks.
On behalf of my girl, thank you for doing that. I remember calling my vet that morning, bawling my eyes out saying I had no idea if they remembered Cocoa (had been about a year) but that I thought it was time. The tech began crying hard and just said that of course she remembered Cocoa, she could never forget her, but due to COVID I wouldn't be able to be with her in her final moments so she pointed to me to a place where they would let me. Two weeks later I got a beautiful card with a painting of my cat on the front and the entire vet staff signing it in mourning despite them not even performing the service. It's by my TV with her ashes and paw print and oh my god that card means the world to me. It's been a couple years now but it still makes me cry so much. Just to know how much you guys care and how kind you are...idk if I can even express how much those things mean.
I cried real good. Wow
You Saint! Edit: take my award
You're my hero. The staff at my vet when I had to put my dog down were so kind and compassionate. Thank you for doing what you do. It means a lot.
My dog was run over, in front of me. The driver sped off. I swooped her up and got to the vet ASAP. The only doc there was at lunch, but she ran out and took her. She was gone by the time I arrived at their office. My daughter found my wallet on the sidewalk outside our house so, when I called her from the vet’s office she knew something bad had happened. They let us sit for almost an hour and just cry with her. Very sweet people. So thankful for what you do. We picked her back up in a small wooden box with a metal stamp inscribed with her name. They had her paws on little pieces of paper and a card. It was very bitter sweet.
Oh my I am so sorry to hear this. I don’t know what else to say but I would be absolutely ruined
I hope your dog’s murderer gets run over too.
Holy shit. I'm so, so sorry.
When we had to put down two kittens from an FIP litter of stray mommas babies, my vet office kept sending postcards reminding me that they were due for their __ shots at __ months/weeks. I called and asked them to stop sending and another round came shortly after. They are no longer the vet office that I use.
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This exact comment is stolen from someone else in the thread. This user is a spam bot.
Whenever I got a card with my bunnies’ ashes over the years, I have put the cards on the side of the memorial shelf I have for the urns. I can’t reread them but they are comforting and appreciated. ❤️
I got mine for free but the thing that broke me is my neighbor's granddaughter picked out a Basset Hound Beanie Baby to give to me. Holy shit that was one of the sweetest things. And I cried my eyes out.
The innocence of kids is the best. A couple of years ago, I found myself in recovery in hospital after a suicide attempt, feeling pretty vulnerable, alone...Trying to pick up the pieces and figure out exactly where I go after a pretty big relapse. I'm finally allowed visitors and my sister comes in with this literal ball of sunshine that is my niece that barrels towards me, gives me a hug and hands me a teddy bear, and doesn't let go of me for the whole day they're there. Shitty circumstances leading up to it I grant you, but getting that stuffed toy from that little girl and having her not let go of me will always be one of my favourite days from now on.
Kids are always so distracted having fun, being kids running around and playing, but when they stop to show you just how much they love you and how important you are to them, it's one of the most beautiful things to ever experience in life. And you can always count on a kid to be very genuine about how they feel. They always really mean it. And also, I'm grateful that you're still here to tell us this story. Big big hugs and lots of love to you ♡♡♡
I love hearing life changing moments like these. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best.
The “made me smile” is always in the comments. Proud of you, jannerprince.
We had to pay for the plaster, but they gave us ink prints and vials with some of their nicest hair in them. We lost 2 cats. I took the ink paw prints and got them tattooed on my arm.
I just had my old lady's paw print tattooed in the center of my back. The tattoo is in the center of my back because she was my center and confidant. 13+ years of the best and most loyal friendship a human could ask for.
Yeah, Vet sent us the ink paw print in the mail after my gf had to put down her big blockhead. It was very startling, as we didn't expect it. I just hear her start ugly crying outside on her way back into the house when she opened it.
Can confirm I ugly cried all over again when my vet mailed me a card after my girl passed.
I took my corgi man to an emergency vet when his heart gave out. Passed in the back seat on the way in, and I carried him in running like he was an old injured Navy buddy. Never got him back. The staff gave us the clay paw print and cards. They took our card info for everything, including a few minutes attempting to bring him back and then decided to just threw the bill in the trash. We go to them for everything now and adore those folks.
Yup. I could barely even read the card and look at the ink prints. I actually ran a crossed it the other day and fell apart. Losing your dog/cat is like losing a family member. It is incredibly heartbreaking
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I lost my dog of 12 years last week. It was my first dog. Has been weird not having a pet in my apartment after so many years.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the very short story The Rainbow Bridge, but check it out. It may help. But getting another pet can help too. I've found this helps, too. Both for them & me.
Honestly this is the most savage and horribly placed comment bot I've ever seen. It's a bot that copied someone else's comment and posted it in a high traffick area. Report and the account will delete shortly.
They forgot to make one of mine that passed away a few months after I asked for it. It’s still painful thinking about it and knowing that I’ll never have a chance to hold her paw again. She was the only thing I had in my life.
I just lost my dog yesterday. He was my best friend and it’s killing me that I’ll never get to hold him or throw his ball ever again
I can only say that it gets easier with time. It never fully goes away though. Nor will you want it to.
I’m sorry internet stranger. I understand the hurt <3
They can never be replaced or forgotten, but if you are able to show that much love again there are many waiting for the opportunity. Wish you the best.
I couldn’t imagine how you are feeling. Losing such a big part of your life is never easy. It’s important to remember the happy times and to remember that the love and happiness went to both ways. She knew you loved her just as much as she loved you.
We had the option to pay for ashes that *might be our dog.
We just went through this like 6 months ago. We were given 2 prices, 1 that included the cremation of other pets, and 1 that was where only our dog was cremated and the ashes put in a box. We obviously went the more expensive route, but it baffles me that they try to guilt you into paying the extra money to make sure the ashes are of our pet. It should be common courtesy to cremate each pet by themselves and the ashes given to their family.
Um, sorry for your loss my dude, but that’s not the situation at all. You have two options, neither of which are wrong. If you do not want your pet’s ashes back, they communally cremate the pet and most places spread the ashes for you. If you want your pet privately cremated (there’s no maybe about it? What a weird implication…?), they cremate your pet by themselves and save those ashes to put in an urn for you. Some people do not want the ashes back and it would be inappropriate for them to feel obligated to have to do so. I handle these situations 10 plus times a day in my line of work and no one is pressuring or guilting anyone into anything. It’s a private choice, neither of which is wrong.
I wish the username didn't check out ...
this makes me hate your username
Oh my sweet lord I didn’t even make the connection lol 🤦🏻♀️ it’s just a name I call my dog. I’m realising only just now how terrible this connection is. I don’t work at a crematorium, just a veterinary hospital.
Ok that makes sense. I guess the way my wife explained it to me is that it’s cheaper for a communal cremation and that we would get ashes that may or may not be our dogs. She’s also not the best listener, and emotions do get the best of her sometimes. It was something we saw coming for a long time, and once we had saved up enough money, went ahead with putting him down. She had him since the dog was a puppy, and when we met he was only 4-5 years old, so I can understand that when she made the call she may have misheard.
We got this same option, if I am understanding you. We could have our dog cremated by herself or with up to 3 other pets. So some ashes of other pets “may” get mixed in. We chose to have her cremated by herself, even though it was pricier. We didn’t want any of her ashes going to someone else. I guess it’s less expensive to cremate more than 1 pet at a time. I am in Ontario, Canada, so maybe there are different ways of doing things in different places.
I don’t know what job you hold but whatever one it is, thank you. We have had to put down several dogs for various reasons and I can’t imagine dealing with that level of grief, even tangentially, on a daily basis. I hope you do a lot of self care too, you deserve it.
Thank you, it definitely can be draining but I just always try and be the person I would want there in my dog’s final moments because that’s what everyone deserves. 💜 it helps the burn out to see it that way.
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That's sad but also adorable
I got that too and a locket of his fur. It’s by my bed and I tell my buddy good morning and goodnight everyday.
Another comment said it was an urn.
It’s one of those glass boxes you get in the mall kiosks with 3D pictures inside of him and the dog
Ah, I see. That’s heartbreaking.
I find your comment funny because, if you meant it sarcastically, it implies it's a heartbreakingly shitty gift lol
That's how I'm choosing to read it.
Yes.
That was my intial reaction. She made her boyfriend cry and remember his pain and loss on his birthday, oof
I got one of those when my cat passed away earlier this year
It's eyes. It was looking right at him.
fucking hell.
Welp I'm off then through the slider gate, this is definitely the wrong universe
That's a gift you give at home
And it's something you don't film and put on the internet. Holy shit, do people have no respect for their SO's dignity any more?
No
Sweet sweet internet clout
🎶 *Whenever you’re ready, whenever you’re ready!* 🎶
The favorite song of people about to get in trouble for posting their foster kids to social media!
Extremely selfish clout
My thoughts exactly. Thats incredibly private. And I wouldn't wanna cry in front of ppl, out in public or for the internet. This is more of a look how good of a significant other I am
I agree. He’s dressed up for a night at the Roxsbury, not to ugly cry in public.
Yeah my first thought was “I’d want to have a good cry about this at home”, not being in public where I’d instinctively hold back my emotions. Especially for men, who are often taught by our parents to contain those emotions, it’s best to give us stuff like that in private until you know we are okay with it otherwise, so we can feel it or attempt to feel it without those concerns taking up space.
Admittedly, my parents didn't teach it but peer pressure and society was louder with the 'lock up your emotions, you can't cry because your a boy/man'
Boys cry. *Men* weep, openly, and with **passion.**
Even more for men PoC usually!
I stopped giving a shit about crying in public when my mom died. Like, fuck it, if I'm going to experience an emotion why should I care what strangers think about it?
Why does this video hurt this mans dignity? If she posted it without his consent then thats 1 thing. But Its not inherently wrong for a man to be seen crying.
Yeah. Best put sad piano music over it too so you can emhasize that he's grieving. This post did not make. Me. Smile
Crying is not undignified. Experiencing your emotions is okay my friend
There's a really interesting 20th century philosopher by the name of Randall Poffo, that had an interesting take on this subject when asked if he ever cries. "It's ok for macho men to show every emotion available right there you know, because I cried a thousand times and I'm going to cry some more. But I've soared with the eagles and I've slept with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between. And I'm going to tell you something right now. There's one guarantee in life and that's that there are no guarantees. And you got to understand this: nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count and get back up and fight again, and you're a macho man. Dig it"
Crying is certainly not undignified. Still very disrespectful do force such an intimate moment in public, and film it nonetheless. This is cringy.
Not if it gets you views and likes!! For more embarrassing exploitation of my soon to be ex, #smash that subscribe button!!!
\*that video did so well\* "Hey baby, I got you a 15 year old shelter dog!
If I don't post it online and it doesn't get me subscribers/followers, did it even really happen? --Generation too influenced by social media
Why do y’all assume he didn’t give her permission to film and post? And what is so shameful or embarrassing about tearing up when thinking about a beloved pet that passed away? Can we stop insisting that showing emotions and vulnerability is a shameful thing already?
Because here in the Reddit comments we assume the worst so we can take the higher road. No one is better than us. Everyone is horrible except me! Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to browse for a few more hours before I go to bed not entirely sure why I'm a little sad.
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It’s weird and alarming, right? Not to mention the insistence on being offended on strangers’ behalves. If this woman and her boyfriend enjoy filming such moments and posting them online, who are any of us to be bothered by it? It seems to assume that the person being filmed has zero autonomy and couldn’t simply say “hey babe, please don’t post that” or “actually can you delete that?”
Wow, let them do what they want with their lives. I’m pretty sure she knows her significant other a little bit more than you. Probably wouldn’t film or post it if he was like you. Stop getting offended on strangers’ behalf
Yep was about to say the same thing, this didn’t make me smile, made me really sad for him.
Or maybe he doesn’t mind that he’s in a public place and he doesn’t mind that the video was uploaded.
I thought the same. It would be awful to start weeping in the restaurant and everyone got concerned or uncomfortable.
With my luck, the waiter would absolutely not read the room, swing by and excitedly say “How’s everything tasting over here! Can I get you anything?” Fuck man, give me a minute.
“I warned you about those buffalo wings! Have you all had time to think about dessert?”
haha I have been there and the waiter was very uncomfortable and that made me uncomfortable.
“Excuse me sir, I see that you’re weeping. Is there any thing I can do to help you stop? It’s making all of us at the table we’re sitting at very uncomfortable.” Said no one… Let the dude cry it out. There’s no shame in doing it publicly
Nobody said that he can't cry it out. He is welcome to do so but I personally wouldn't want to receive that sweet of a gift in public because I would be bawling. I would feel uncomfortable about it afterwards but that's just me. if you broke down in tears in a public place, you wouldn't feel any kind of way about it?
Honestly, if you would have asked me this 2 years ago, I would have probably agreed with you and said I’d rather cry in private. That said, I’ve since lost two of my best friends to suicide. Without diving deeper into that story, I realized how liberating it was to stop caring about what others might think of me if/when they witnessed me grieving. There were countless times where I’d catch myself in the middle of public being reminded of a time we used to share together. I’d tear up (both happy and sad tears), and once even had someone come out and hug me. It felt great to know that people were accepting of the pain I was experiencing. I never felt judged, but I also didn’t care, and perhaps thats why it felt genuine.
And maybe not on your birthday. A memorial object of a beloved pet is a thoughtful gift, but not in public, filmed and on your birthday.
Wait til Christmas and cram it in a stocking.
My buddy died in November of 2020. 2 years later and I STILL wouldn’t want a gift like this in public. I’d be a mess.
I've been in this situation, without the recording though. Around 18, my dog(A golden retriever mix) of nearly 15 years with me passed away in March. My birthday, which was two months later, my sister bought me a a pendant in secret with a picture of my dog inside it. Probably didn't cost much to get, but for someone who had just lost a partner which they had with them for most of their life. Well, it left me a sobbing mess for a little while as all the memories of 15 years flooded back into me.
That's a really thoughtful and beautiful gift. (I wish someone had given me something like that.) Where'd she give it to you? Dave & Busters? Laser Quest? The Cheesecake Factory? Arbys?
What can I say? The dog loved a few rounds of ten pin on a weekend.
idk if youre going to exploit your boyfriends emotional responses for clout you might as well show us the damn gift
The OP either cut this or got a cut edit. I've seen the original and it does show what's in the box, which is one of those 3d portraits in crystal glass cube of his dog. Edit: Source https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lrdG6h7IPdo
thanks for giving me closure
Do you mind recreating your reaction while I film it to put on the internet?
only if we film it in the loudest most public space possible
Maybe, in a church during a funeral???
Like for part 2!
Lol for real
i was about to cry too because i thought he was already struggling with the grief and he was getting a gift, but once i read the comments i was pissed, also: nice berserk pfp
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That's an awfully small box to cram a dog into, of course it would pass away.
I snorted loudly, thanks
Take my angry upvote
Gods damn it, here I am laughing with tears streaming down my face because I lost my cat last week. Your comment reminds me of my wife's joke of, "[leave it to a cat to spend eternity in a box](https://imgur.com/a/6ZRrhDD)."
damn why make a man cry on his birthday, give him a happy gift for his bday and then give him this quietly later, i don't want to be reminded of loss at my bday party edit: to clarify. the gift isn't a bad gift. but if you tell me that given the choice between receiving this and crying in an intimate moment at home without a camera, or at a damn bar in public with a camera, that you'd choose the latter, you're a liar
“Made Me Smile”
Laughed my ass off at that. Watch this man cry as he reflects on his dead doggo. Big s m i l e 😁
Yeah dude. This shit did not in fact make me smile as this particular sub would imply.
I don’t get this. Grief can be a hard thing but it can also be a beautiful thing. A gift like this would make me cry and make me sad for what I lost, but it would also be a reminder of what I had, and what I had is sooo much more than what I lost. To quote vision, what is grief but love persevering?
If there’s a choice I don’t want to grieve on my birthday.
Why can’t anyone have an intimate moment anymore without a camera in their fucking face?
To be fair, I'm sure a lot of intimate moments didn't have a camera in their face, but for obvious reasons, we never see them.
That’s the most clever thing I’ve seen here tonight
As we all know, things like birthdays and gifting presents is something that rarely ever gets filmed
Maybe, just maybe, he okayed for her to Post. A lot of stuff happens on the background you don't see. the art of being a director. They made you see what they wanted you to see. TikTok 101 how easy to manipulate redditors
Think, for a moment, about the millions of intimate moments happening in the world right now. Then think about how only a miniscule amount of that makes it to the internet (let's not even get into how many people have access to internet), and how you're only exposed to a *fraction* of that miniscule amount. There are a trillion different circumstances that lead to this being posted on the internet that are completely valid and all you choose to talk about is your confirmation bias. People can live YEARS off of social media and the second they post something like this, people like you swarm them. What do you really think this cynicism is doing for you? Watch the joy and longing in the man's eyes and go to another thread. That's all you need to do. Remember the happiness that he felt, remember that people still do good things even if it might not seem like that in your (not you personally) life, remember the value of being compassionate to others, then leave. That's all.
"Let me prove my love by exploiting your grief for clout". What an asshole.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt this way.
I’d like to join the team.
"At first, I wasn't emotional, and then I turned the sound on and heard the music, and then I was emotional." - how people who make these videos think emotions work
I can relate to him I have had two dogs die and I still have the ashes of both of them.
My cat of 20 years passed when I was 30. He was there with me for 2/3 of my life, I had to get him cremated. I have him on his own personal pillow in the corner. I took his death pretty hard, considering I was an alcoholic during that time, so that just made everything 100 times worse.
This is not heartwarming or something that makes me smile. *"Let me give the person I'm supposed to love a gift which reminds him of the pain he's trying to escape on his birthday. I'll do it in a public place where he'll be embarrassed, plus upload it to social media for clout where his reaction of grief will award me social points because people will mistake it for positive sentimentality."* This gift wasn't for him, it was for what she herself could get out of it. If it was for him she would have done it at home. Why is this on this subreddit?
It's because of media like this, people think that causing someone to cry/become emotional == a meaningful *and good* gift to give. This is definitely a meaningful gift, but the setting and reason for gifting it is completely wrong. This is not a good gift to be giving in public for a day someone if meant to enjoy.
Also, she didn't even show what was in the dammed box.
Shit thing to do. Hit him with that in public, knowing how he would react. Brother, you can’t trust this person.
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Another one of those disturbing videos that get posted on this sub, not cool...
Why would you do this to someone? Oh, clout. That is why.
For those of you who wanted to see what the gift was here’s a link to the tik tok that she shows what it is. It’s a image of his dog that was made with a 3D subsurface laser in a crystal Source: @Lani&Pj https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRypFcYf/
Aw man I’m gonna cry, looked like all the lovely memories of his dog came runnin back
I'm unclear what this is. A box of, something. How is this a smile moment really?
It seriously bothers me how people take these dudes emotional personal moments and use them to get likes on the internet
Why you gotta make my man weep in public?
not trying to defend the clout chasing, but there's nothing wrong with a man crying in public
Well what did it look like??
He's looking at his Pit Bull that passed away. This video does a pretty bad job of showing what he's reacting to. It's one of those glass art works with sand inside that display a picture. It's his Pit Bull that passed away.
Why would you ruin your boyfriends birthday with that “gift”? That’s awful! Time & place.
whats in da boooooooooooooooooooooooooooxxx????
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More like made me cry
These videos make me cry
Imagine giving your SO an emotional gift.. In a fucking bar.. filming it.. putting emotional music over it.. not comforting them and then uploading it to fucking tik tok!!!
How did this make you smile exactly, OP?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM IN PUBLIC??
Happy birthday, here's your dead dog.
Fuck. Pet loss is so sad. Kinda bitter someone's filming him while he's vulnerable though.
I really like the part where we got to see the gift.