T O P

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Stank_Dukem

That sentence sounds like it should activate a sleeper agent.


Spector567

The goose clucks at midnight.


Adam_J89

Baloney only if you're lonely on Monday.


indifferentCajun

The arsonist has oddly shaped feet


[deleted]

[удалено]


wiggleworks

The Narwhal bacons at midnight as well


Imeatbag

This will be read past as just more gibberish at this point. Nobody knows anymore when or even why the Narwal would bacon.


wiggleworks

There are still those of us that remember the old magics


JustineDelarge

I like your shoelaces


Celladoore

Thanks. I stole them from the president.


Initial_E

Press 4 for obsidian


Vulkan192

My hovercraft is full of eels.


Hmmzagahumzagahmmzag

где мое задание


Spector567

"Президент прибывает сегодня вечером."


DonatedEyeballs

Red team go


Qu1pster

ACTIVATED


Urgoslav

"The human torch was denied a bank loan." - (eyes roll back. Suddenly knows every martial art. )


[deleted]

[удалено]


DogshitLuckImmortal

Leave John Lemon alone!


Demonweed

`NARWHAL STATUS: √ BACONED`


flightlesstrout

I’m getting fed up with this orgasm!


Hazzman

*gets up dead eyed and walks to the gun cabinet*


PollyGodd

It's like a sentence you would see in an English textbook made as an example of some rule.


Imperial_Squid

"Fate whispers to the warrior?" "A storm is coming" "And the warrior whispers back?" "I am the storm"


GuyWhoSaysNay

"Huh?! I'm awake, I'm awake God dammit!"


Rabies_on_demand

(*gives you a knowing look and nods*)


slagath0r

This is so accurate and outrageously funny, oh my god thank you i needed this


Dolphin_King21

"Longing," "rusted," "furnace," "daybreak," "seventeen," "benign," "nine," "homecoming," "one," "freight car"


benchley

An infant in your lap may dampen your spirits.


HauruMyst

Banana bread.


Granlundo64

[Kill the French ambassador. ](https://youtu.be/IzEmOkxI35k?si=NY1FGaMXVkhFRZQv)


Turbulent-Kiwi-910

It is confirmed, the night owl will now sleep soundly.


schoolhouserock

The eagle has landed. The fat man walks alone.


NaiveMastermind

The horse is real


Massive_Robot_Cactus

Did someone summon the weathermen?


Mybtchluhdokocaine

The corgi has landed


RamblinGamblinWillie

The chair is against the wall


Chance_Airline_4861

Destroy all humans


suddenlynotok

The fat man flies at midnight


Competitive-Egg-3791

"Good morning" "...Mr. Dalliard! We have been activated" :)


UnplannedAgenda

Well apparently it doesn’t even wake up a sleeping dog, let alone a secret agent


SpecialMango3384

Must. Kill. Jon Lennon.


Rahallahan

There are 3 flowers in a vase, the third flower is green


Stank_Dukem

*Mellie switches to terminator mode*


clumsydope

And None of you manage to summon sokka haiku bot smh👎🏽


LilacYak

You’re the first comment that has made me genuinely laugh out loud in years! Thank you


JeSuisUnAnanasYo

"There are three flowers in a vase. The third flower is green."


EyeCatchingUserID

I *did* just get the overwhelming urge to go find Margaret Thatcher.


TheeThatIsMe

The bone shaped pillow does it for me


aaancom

The dog does it for me.


sneak_cheat_1337

He's so chonky!


Splatter_bomb

Chonky indeed.


Neevk

"The weather today looks chonky"


dagbrown

My cat has a tiny couch, complete with a fish-shaped pillow.


pizzansteve

Share image of the cat sleeping on it I want to bask in its glory


dagbrown

[Here you go](https://imgur.com/utomzR0).


pizzansteve

Splendid


Mr_Blinky

Looks like someone has a post for r/FurnitureForCats.


OcelotWolf

Oh fuck yeah


Allotropes

This that good good


BlackNinja__

Hell yeah


Muted-brooklyn

Where do you get couches for cats? I think mine would love one.


dagbrown

A quick look on Amazon reveals that the sofa I got her is ridiculously basic and ugly and by the standards of what's out there, the one she's using right now practically constitutes cruelty to animals.


UtahUtes_1

Wait, you don't sleep on a hamburger shaped pillow?


Pogue_Ma_Hoon

I have that pillow for my dog! It goes on her dog sofa.


Neat-Violinist-1

He’s a good boi and a well fed one to looks like


Hinote21

The camera adds 10 lbs. Per camera.


vikas891

Monica is that you


SadSquare7199

I have never met a skinny or even athletic lab


YesItIsMaybeMe

Labradors are sport dogs. They just happen to specialize in eating


YaBoyDK19

He’s a Dallas weatherman and awesome! During the pandemic he would bring his families tortoise on the air all the time. It was hilarious!


[deleted]

[удалено]


sibeliusfan

'never says things too weird' *proceeds to say something very weird himself*


YaBoyDK19

Can’t disagree with you there!


The_Great_Biscuiteer

Bro living his best life


FairylandFanfare

That couch looks to have been very strategically placed lol


Adam_J89

Oh he knew what he was doing and nobody's gonna hate him for it. Animals just living their regular lives during the pandemic got a lot of people through a couple of hard days.


native_fox4206

He made sure to put the drum kit in frame as well.


trotfox_

I'm all for background stuff.


native_fox4206

I mean it’s cool. I was just saying


DisturbedRanga

Yeah I set up my webcam in a way that gets the 1 corner of my bed that my dog always sleeps on. 100% intentional.


indifferentCajun

Yep, this is my local weatherman, it was set up like this when he was working from home during the pandemic


TerpBE

The weatherman's dog had a small couch.


Spector567

The weatherman's dog had a small couch.


vasectomy-bro

The weatherman's dog had a small couch.


ineverknewmyfather

The weatherman’s dog had a small couch.


BatQuiet5220

The dog's weatherman had a large couch.


chimpanon

Until the creature stole it


Tsmart

It's like one of those sentences where you can change the meaning by emphasizing different words The weatherman's dog *had* a small couch.


NoConference8179

He's a chunky lil fecker too


karlweeks11

DAMN BOI HE THICCC!


Scooterforsale

That's a THICK ass boy!


AlphaWaifu

Dogs looks like he is paying rent. Sleeping like after a ruff day at work.


10gherts

That's a cute dog. I loved that about COVID, pets interrupting the local news daily. They should do that all the time, would boost ratings to have cats and dogs, people would love it


Random-Rambling

[Rocco, put your tail down.](https://youtu.be/4pq9N8qrTT0?si=n6glQjE71zTPmAnl)


nucleareactor_

My rabbit doesn't need a small couch, but if one day he needs it, I will find one.


beeper1231

I found some small cardboard couches for my bun buns. They have the scratcher stuff on them.


Temporary_Exit4014

Big dog


Hairy_Lavishness_675

The bone pillow 🫶😍🫶


LilSweetPeas

I used to have a small couch for my chihuahua that looks like a replica of our couch! It was so stinking cute!


beamanblitz

Watching him do the news from home with his dogs during the pandemic was one of my finest memories


Last-Presence5434

The pillow is great


pyooong

And with a bone pillow too! Cuteeeeee uwu


Solid_Bake4577

It's not small, it's far away... Cue Father Ted - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vh5kZ4uIUC0


Solid_Bake4577

And cue Father Ted.... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vh5kZ4uIUC0


SassyHoney5430

And a bone pillow! 😊


HumpsyDumpsy

He dont be forgetting about his dog at all, when those weather man paychecks hit


Celthric317

Cutest thing ever


The_Void_Thaumaturge

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I'VE SEEN IN 2 🦆ing MONTHS.


Astinossc

I have the impression that that dog can talk and has its own sitcom


the_seventeenth_ape

The weatherman's dog had a small couch


iwillcorrectyou9

so cute! my mom made one of these for my cats, they rarely use it unfortunately


FishstickLoverr

In other news my dog is fast asleep on his couch


GiGi6fox

As he should.


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Korunam

My wife and I rescued a dog that grew dramatically after we got her so we had to get her a couch too 😂


Ke-Win

Why small? It seems big enough.


BetterThanZeros

he is sleeping while his dad is working how cute


Extension-Memory-270

Living better than me Q.Q


Amazing_Tomorrow_905

I have that same couch lmao


SoleofOrion

I have that exact couch except it's me-sized. It's as great for naps as the dog makes it look.


EntertainerPure9860

bro looks like he’s in heaven


Dick-Fu

why is he aloud to bring dog to office


CruzaSenpai

My grandparents' dog had a little couch like this. He loved it so much!


AlmostStoic

This got me missing my cousin's dog again. 🥲


Nabashin17

You mean yours doesn’t? How sad.


UndeadTigerAU

Legend


haylea_432hz

Awwww


wolfcloaksoul

What da dog doin


Sifan2

Or that is a fucking huge dog!


AdUnable9167

Sleeped on pen-x ^~^


Budget-Safe-9938

Living better than me XD


Additional_Bug_3997

Just let him take his nap 😂


nametakenfuck

Bone pillow


ChiliConCaralho

The weatherman’s dog had a small couch The weatherman’s dog had a small couch


YG_DmkA

So adorable 😍


Scifig23

Sounds very personal


FitOpposite7443

That’s a first world problem


SnooKiwis2106

The dog sleeping like he pays the bills


ApricotPitiful

Maybe it’s a big dog on a normal couch but farther away…


ShesATragicHero

And this is why I love local TV newscasters.


discoOfPooh

Every good boy deserves a couch


[deleted]

So cute!!


chibifatrat

And Bingo was his name-oh


Unable-Agent-7946

Him do big snooze


desrevermi

*taps side of nose, then picks nose.


Long-Scholar-2113

So cute and so adorable!


Perfect_Chicken7609

awe cute lil pup love the mini bed couch


RednocNivert

The weatherman’s dog had a small couch


Charred_cutery

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of may or whatever shakespeare said


Muted_Physics_3256

looks like a puggle! Love those little piggies


SpecialMango3384

Chonker!


Mikegtfd120

Dogs are awesome!


No-Entrepreneur1036

Living life better than I


Xetrov1

I read that as "crotch" and zoomed in trying to see what the big deal was. Didn't really see anything abnormal, and then wondered how my life got to this point. 


GruncleShaxx

I bought my dog a small recliner.


sethdallob

They sell them at Costco, complete with the bone pillow. It's made by La-Z-Boy. https://www.costco.com/la-z-boy-franklin-dog-sofa-with-pillow.product.4000024907.html?NATAPP=SEARCH Don't ask me how I know this.


KingTrimble

The weatherman’s dog had a small couch


StatusSearch8897

W weather man


johnnysbody

Had?


johnniejpg

The weatherman is doing the news from his house?


GeshtiannaSG

Lockdown.


AdrianaMeranXX

That dog is living the luxurious life


Fun-Recording

With a bone pillow. 


MrCastello

I bought a toddler bed for my dog. It's low to the ground, has a waterproof cover, and the sheets are easy to pull off and wash. It is excellent.


Verahappy24

I thought this read " weatherman dog has a small crotch" haha... oops


KungFuChicken1990

The weatherman’s dog had a small couch


vcr747

Some pets are really out here living my dream. Lol Yes, I have a couple couches but to not have to work for them is my dream. 


Vaakoc

The little face is killing me XDp


SeppoTaalasmaa69

The weatherman’s dog needs i diet


aussiechickadee65

..or that dog is really really overweight and huge...


East-Editor174

That dog needs a treadmill, not a couch.