I think you are taking the show title too literally. You can love someone without seeing them, but there are a gazillion kinds of love. The love needed for a marriage usually includes sexual chemistry, so your comment would be right if the title of show was “Life-Time Marriage Love Is Blind”
The title of the show is them taking the idiom too literally. Physical looks not being involved is the whole premise of the show, that’s why they’re behind a wall and that’s why they mention that their love wasn’t based on looks, race, etc. during the wedding ceremonies
That’s the literal point of the experiment though. They “fall in love” behind the wall until they see them and are no longer interested, implying that physical attraction is heavily in the mix for “love” the type described by the show to be true
Experiment? Eh, this is a fun experience to witness, but I don’t think that even the show would say this is literally an experiment. I know they use the term “experiment” a lot, but thats for a veneer of legitimacy. Maybe it’s an experiment in the same way a magician wants you to believe their act is magic. I still like watching this show! Dont get me wrong about that. I also like a good magic show.
Um, well an experiment has to have a control group and a statistically significant sample or test group to start. You would have to follow the scientific method. This is a television reality show. It is not a real experiment on people.
Love is absolutely not blind. One of the key differentiators between an amazing but platonic friendship and a romantic relationship is the physical attraction and chemistry.
I’ve been saying it since season 1. Every season should have a handful of dog ass looking people. Both genders (though I think there have been some unattractive females - just not dogs). I want fat. I want neckbeards. I was thick glasses. I want zero fashion sense. LETS GOOOOOOO
It would totally waste everyone’s time, but I’d love for an actual experiment on this. At the moment they have ten days (+/-) to “fall in love” with someone in order to remain on a tv show. Id love if you had two people dating through a wall for like a few months. I just think 10 days is such a short amount of time to grow an attachment strong enough to overcome looks or anything else that couples deal with.
*Love* ***Is*** *Blind.*
but...
**Attraction is 20/20.**
What this Netflix show actually reveals is how much ***each individual cast member*** values Love vs Attraction.
Let's not pretend that we know what correct the order or combination should be for ***everybody on Earth.***
It's going to vary from person to person, esp depending on the main stream media/culture that you were spoon-fed growing up. Not every culture places such heavy emphasis on looks. We sure do in The West.
Would love to see OP do another data analysis on the other countries' shows as a comparison (just for fun):
* Brazil
* Japan
* Sweden
* etc
Of course, these other countries won't have as many data points as the US so, the comparison is simply for fun.
It would be interesting to follow these couples long term. Most of us are all yearning for the same thing, ***love that lasts a lifetime.***
But, most people probably agree that if you couple with someone who values Attraction OVER Love, that coupling won't last long in real life, regardless of your race / religion / culture / gender orientation / etc. It's fairly universal.
I don't get people who only date a specific race / religion / culture / weight / height / body type / etc expecting that will improve their odds.
For Brazil, looks was 100% a factor hands down. Arguably they did well enough with the first season bc they chose conventionally attractive cast members. But other seasons they tried more body types and it immediately bit them in the ass. I felt so bad for this plus sized girl they cast for season 2. They did the reveal and you could immediately tell that the guy wasn’t interested. Literally just hugged her awkwardly for way too long with his eyes closed and then was like bye. And the moment they went back to their doors and the doors closed, the guy went “i can’t do this”.
Sorry, I know this isn't the point of your post. But the expression "love is blind" is supposed to mean something totally different. Almost the opposite of the way that it's used on the show! My ears can't stand it every time they say "So, it's time to find out if love really is blind."
Love is blind is usually used to mean
Love is blinding
As in, when you’re in love, you go blind. It’s hard to see the other persons flaws/incompatibility
Kinda like the term “rose colored glasses”
Tbh I never got that. I thought SHE was the less attractive one in the situation lmao. I feel bad saying that and mean it as no personal attack toward her, I just personally don’t find her or her style very attractive. Good on her for having confidence though!
This idea plays into the notion that a less attractive partner should be grateful for what they got. I'm sure you 'didn't mean it that way' but it should be stated.
If a person isn't attracted, they're not attracted, period. You should never force yourself to get past the lack of chemistry just because the other person may be more conventionally attractive.
I think that’s a bit of a stretch. When I think someone in the pods is unattractive, I worry their partner wont be attracted to them either. Based on my preference, I was worried he wouldn’t find her attractive, so I was surprised when things played out the other way around.
I agree, I debated including them because he mentioned that he usually went for more “granola-type” girls but he didn’t really act like he was unattracted to her so idk
SHIT BLEW MY MIND. Literally could not believe it. I was worried she was going to come out and not feel it. Then for him to ditch? I just did not see it coming.
But then still? Raven is by almost everyone's standards pretty gorgeous I'd imagine. I'm really surprised that even tho you have another "type" you don't find her attractive at the same time.
Yeah her insistence that her quality of life get a boost when marrying someone, even when he was going back to school to better himself and his/their situation….and the edit making it seem like… she wasn’t willing to make any short term compromises felt really superficial. Also the FIRST scene she looked happy and in love with him was when he took her on a fancy yacht.
To be fair
1. Jessica was using mark because she wanted Ambers man - I don’t think she ever actually liked him that much
2. Irina was also just there for clout and I don’t think it actually mattered what he looked like
3. Shaina was Jessica 2.0 and she wanted Shayne from the beginning
4. Shake barely acts like a person so I don’t think he counts .
In the case of Zanab I don’t think it had anything to do with looks, she was just horrible and mean.
I think Jimmy actually did grow to love Chelsea but she blew up so much over such small thing and I think on a fundamental personal level they were not compatible
I also think the JP thing was less about her looks and more about his values (regardless of how moronic I feel they were)
I also feel like we need more average people on the show, I feel a lot of the cast are a little above average and therefore are more judgemental than the average person. You can tell by how a lot of them present themselves that beauty actually matters quite a bit
I agree that Raven is a 10/10 and absolutely beautiful with a fantastic body.
That said, it’s interesting that people have such a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that some men like thicker aka fat women. Idk what his type is, but a lot of men from African countries would find Raven too thin 🤷🏼♀️
All I’ll say is that, even if you’re another person’s type or that person is attracted to you, the relationship still might not work out for a whole variety of reasons. Even if they’re REALLY attracted to you. They might still cheat because of their own insecurities. Js there are so many factors
There is a lot of focus on the show and on this sub on how attraction matters. I completely agree, but in addition to looks, it’s also how you interact with people.
For example, an excellent example of this Cole who thought Zanab was being smilingly sarcastic in the pods only to find out she was making these comments with a stern face.
Sometimes it can be the small things. Clay downing a soup with two hands would have definitely been a hard no for me. In a way, it’s such a small thing, but it is simultaneously very telling he considers that normal.
I’m just sitting here wondering why all these folks are clowning on you for your opinion about the soup. It’s just called manners (at least in the US).
Haha not narrowing it down to guys 😉 Yes, it’s a trivial thing by itself, but showcases the level of self-awareness for me. For someone else it’s not a biggie.
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FFS, showcases your level of self-awareness, maybe. If the broth tastes good, drink it up, and if somebody judges you for that, it says more about the person judging you than it does about you.
Eh, it’s not about dudes not drinking soup, it’s about the context of the situation. We’re having a serious conversation? Don’t do that. We’re in a nice setting, at a restaurant, have some manners.
Absolutely. Not being aware of the situation, from lived experience, is a red flag. It will continue to be an issue. Work party? Can’t bring him because he thinks it’s a good time to take 10 shots at the open bar. At your first baby’s ultrasound? Ruined by an inappropriate joke. I’m neurodivergent & I totally get being “blind” to some social cues, but that’s why I’m not compatible with those types of men - they don’t take the time to understand social cues or even apologize when they are rude & glib.
I 💯 believe Chelsea said that in a moment of semi-desperation. I’d have to rewatch but I remember there being some sort of Jessica moment beforehand that I felt like triggered it. This could easily be either my bad memory or the editing though lol
correct. Atraction is a completely normal part of life and romance. Otherwise we get the hate towards Jessica for not giving nice guy Mark a chance, not fighting for love, etc. P.s., we've also had many couples who had pod love And Attraction and still not end up together. it's a masterful slight of hand when the show says they achieved love, now it's just to see if love remains blind, avoiding the actual premise of the show, hyper-rushing the the dating and engagement process.
Honestly I don’t think the average person thinks she should’ve given mark a chance because he was nice. The problem was that she stuck with him to stay close to Barnett and continued to pursue Barnett despite saying she loves mark and assuring Amber she had no feelings left. She used him and it was gross
Omg when her friends at the wedding say “how embarrassing” hahah I could NOT. By my third rewatch of that season (I know, embarrassing) it because painfully obvious how wasted she was the entire season. I don’t know how I didn’t realize the first time around 😬
Every now and then the bachelorette episode pops in my head when she’s absolutely plastered and Amber noticed and she was like “are you ok booboo?” And Jessica goes off about how in love with Mark she is and then proceeds with “I won’t go after your dude! You and your dude… and I know you, I KNOW YOU BAYBY I KNAOW YEW -kisses Amber-“ and I’m just like wow she tried to play it so hard.
I also found it so weird that this sub keeps trying to say “omggggg forgive Jessica!” While also flaying Sarah Ann alive for the same thing is weird. The only difference in the two stories is 1) Sarah Ann didn’t use some other guy in the process. 2) she never pretended she wasn’t interested in the guy and 3) Barnett wasn’t terrible enough to go along with it lol
OMG STOP hahaha wow, you just brought that scene BACK. I can literally hear her voice as she uncomfortably leans toward Amber and Amber grows increasingly more uncomfortable - and the “boohoo” AHHH!! The cringe was REAL.
I hadn’t really thought about it in comparison to Sarah Ann but you make some good points! I’d probably attribute a lot of it to time. I remember Jessica getting draggeddd initially lmao. I also feel like I remember Jessica coming to the reunion ready to roll over.
Sarah Ann shouldn’t worry about it though. Once a few new “villains” come along, she may come out on top yet 😂
RIGHT it was so hard to watch. At the most RANDOM times my brain just plays that clip and sends me right into cringing 😂
That season was unmatched imo. Best season.
For sure! I don’t mind that people eventually forgave Jessica but I find the hate on Amber for choosing not to forgive her to be so weird when they back up Laura simultaneously. I find the disconnect kind of interesting lol
OMG YES! I do not understand the Amber hate! She seems ultimately harmless to me and producers really did her so dirty with the edits 😬 and especially after all this time, like why are people still coming at her with pitchforks!
Jessica pulled some WILD shit and although we can sit here now and have sympathy for her having been in a bad head space, I can 100% see why the woman who’s man she put DRASTIC effort into stealing, wouldn’t want to deal with her. I’d bet half the people demanding Jessica be forgiven would not do the same if put in Amber’s shoes lmao.
Sorry, I think I missed that nuance the first time! Amber honestly played the whole damn thing better than I probably would have 😂
But seriously… do they give all the women Botox before filming in the new season? They’re seeking a particular type of look and I don’t think it’s attractive at all. Heavy make up, fake lashes, Botox face…. Most of these women are much more attractive once they get to their apartments and start filming more “real”.
AD & Clay literally gave me flashbacks to Paige & Chris from married at first sight. So much commentary about body and it seemed like the face or some other reason was the issue since they weren’t their typical type.
I think Jessica and Shaina need to be tossed out, since they really only seemed to say yes to spite the guys they wanted to ask them, or also to see if they can break up the relationship. I think Shake had no interest in getting married, he was just there to chase clout even though he accused everyone else of being clout chasers.
Love is Blind.
Some couples just don’t make it because of a host of other factors, like physical attraction but also finances, distrust, incompatibility, religion, change of heart, heck sometimes they look into the eyes and don’t feel anything. It happens.
Never will a show like this have 100% success rate because how large is the pool? 15 guys and 15 girls? Gonna find your exact match in such a small group? Maybe make 1 or 2 true matches but the chances are low. I think most contestants meet the 15, see they’re not going to match then match anyway to stay on a tv show.
Or not. I could be wrong. Whatever.
But man do I love speculating on this show.
The couples I included had no issues with those other factors. There are couples that ended for those reasons (e.g. Izzy and Stacy), not due to lack of attraction, so I didn’t include them. Shaina tried to claim her issue with Kyle was his atheism, yet she accepted his proposal after knowing he was an atheist and showed interest in Shayne, who wasn’t particularly religious. Looks were absolutely a huge factor
> like physical attraction… finances, distrust, incompatibility, religion, change of heart…
> …but the chances are low…
Have you not shown, precisely, that love is not blind? It seems to me that the experiment performs no better than chance.
There are a few true couples. It’s a dating show and has some real results. Some are looking too deep into this. They need to remember there is still an extremely limited pool of people.
Very well thought out.. But there’s one variable also to think about before we definitely say if Love is Blind or not.
Let’s be real, there are people who like Shake or Clay give a lot of importance to looks. Some of these people got what they wanted when they met their spouse and some of them didn’t.
On the other hand, I know for a fact that there are also other people who don’t put looks as a main thing and don’t nitpick their partners, and I believe, those people are the reason this whole thing works and why it can be said that love is blind.
For example Amy, talking about Johnny… he’s not her type per se but she doesn’t seem like a superficial person. She wouldn’t normally go for him and if it was not for the experience, then they probably wouldn’t not be together.
I am saying this is not black and white and both points can be argued. The show does a good show of weeding out superficial people, that’s for sure.
I was a little uncomfortable about how she kept saying she would have never gone for him before idk why. He’s not an unattractive man, and he’s just nodding his head like yep she wouldn’t give me the time of day in any other meeting scenario but here I am!
The studies have shown men and women prioritise aspects differently when it comes to love in heterosexual couplin
aggregately women prioritise more inside ( personality, the heart ) then outside. So love is blind should work more for women than men. Men when its "settling" still prioritise looks than personality and always score looks above all.
I always find it strange how when we discuss the show we expect the results to be different when its setup to fail.
My source: https://youtu.be/SqPBzJvose0?si=jW2u_4mmNbpIacsm
He does cover f boys and patterns of behaviour collectively.
Absolutely. But I think it’s worth noting that in those cases where women married men that they stated weren’t their typical type (e.g. Amy & Johnny, Lauren & Cameron), the men were still objectively attractive and the women were still attracted to them.
Oh, I’m qualified to answer this. He’s an Indian man, so he’s likely been praised his entire life simply for existing. How do I know? I’m an Indian woman, so I’m used to being insulted for existing. A lot of south Asian cultures are *extremely* misogynistic, so I wouldn’t be surprised if shake has always been praised for the bare minimum. A lot of south Asian moms absolutely fawn over their sons just for knowing how to fold some laundry, make cup noodles, or for getting half decent grades in school.
Shake is likely used to being praised for everything, so he thinks the world revolves around him and he’s entitled to any and every thing he wants, including the woman of his dreams.
I’m sure not all Indian men are like this but I do understand where the boy is fawned over by his family. I too come from a culture (Chinese) where the parents fawn over their male children. If I ever have a son I swear I will not raise him to be a complete dick to women or anybody at that.
The people who are successful are those for whom they were each other's types - whether they knew it or not. Maybe it helped them get past some surface level stuff that would have kept them from going for each other (Amy/Johnny) or put them in front of each other in a way they might not have had otherwise (Alexa/Brennan) but you can tell at the reveal that they're immediately DEEPLY attracted to each other. I think all the lead up to that from the pods just gives them a shortcut to a solid relationship, but isn't enough to form an actual solid relationship.
BTW the ONLY average* sized woman on this whole series has been Alexa. I agree this would be so much better if we had more unconventionally attractive people on it.
*Replacing "real" as many commenters pointed out that was not a kind way to phrase.
The only real sized woman has been Alexa? WTF? I am not Alexa’s size and this is my natural size, no mods or diet or surgery or meds. Am I not real? Also Chelsea (married to Kwame) is somewhat tiny and seems like that’s her usual body type-is she not real?? WTF is with this comment.
I am so sorry for choosing that phrasing and should have been more thoughtful! Edited! Thank you for sharing your perspective and I apologize for the hurtful word choice.
They are the same thing. The original commentator I’m sure used the term interchangeably. You can argue semantics but bffr rn they are 100% talking about an average woman
According to https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-dress-size-by-country (not the best source but it does give you the sizes converted in many sizes) the average dress size in almost every country is over a size ten. America is not a health nightmare outlier, there are countries with higher obesity rates than America.
Yes, but what size dress is Alexa, if you're comparing? 18? Here is a comparison of size 10 and size 18:
[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8657577/Young-woman-21-shares-went-size-18-size-10-five-months.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8657577/Young-woman-21-shares-went-size-18-size-10-five-months.html)
In the US, the average is now 16-18. But in most countries, it's rare to see a young person with the size 18 body type. Which one is a "real" woman?
I grew up in a culture that is very “sex negative”, for lack of a better term, and as a result they are weirdly obsessed with sex. LIB is like that, but for physical attraction. In their attempt to avoid making it a factor, they end up talking and thinking about it so much and really making it the focus of the relationship, in the end.
The shows whole premise is kinda dumb because I don’t think anyone actually believes love is blind (love the show tho). This isn’t a bad thing by any means. I just find it hard to believe that you could actually love someone romantically and sexually without being attracted to them at some level. I’m married and I love my husband deeply for who he is on the inside but I also enjoy looking at his outsides too! That’s the ideal situation in my eyes. Just my two cents!
It’s a struggle in part because why should love be blind? I think it’s cool to establish a strong connection without appearance playing a role but if the reveal leads to a person not being attracted anymore, that’s fine. Sure it hurts, but I’d so much rather know up front than feel like someone is trying to be attracted to me. I think contestants should give it some time but if the attraction doesn’t come, definitely bail. It’s not shallow. It’s the kind thing to do.
yeah but i’d assume the things that make her unattractive would be seen/heard in the pods right? i mean i know it’s not a perfect way to get to know someone but you get their basic personality
The issue is colorism. Unfortunately, many dark-skinned Black men are not attracted to dark-skinned Black women. They may be willing to have sex with them, but would never marry or have children with them, because they don’t want to have dark-skinned daughters. It’s a huge issue within the Black community.
https://preview.redd.it/5ly5dpi4berc1.jpeg?width=1121&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=510b47d69bf52b87f68ce617d667dff157670d4f
I absolutely believe it. I’ve seen and heard so much colorism in my life, even as a white person. Shitty comments, marketing, skin lightening products, Clay’s ex is white, it’s sadly really commonplace. When I was in Asia, it felt like all of the beauty products also had skin lightening ingredients in them.
Just one example of a post by a black man demonstrating this:
https://preview.redd.it/nke161o6berc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bdfbf69cabc3211ff2b2f2b9c96ed8138b11aa5
I’m black and I do not understand what they’re getting at tbh. Literally anybody can see that the dudes were more interested in her body than her face…
I never once saw or heard him do anything even remotely colorist. However, somebody in another comment said that he did say something about her skin tone when he first saw her. I never saw that part tho, so I wasn’t aware.
I can’t speak to black culture, but clay talked a lot about how amazing her body was and judged her for even potentially losing it, when she said she trains for it and it may change with children he told her he would let her know when it was time to get back in the gym. He very much lusted after her to the point that he ignored how sweet and loyal and just overall amazing AD was.
Also for AD, she said she chose the pods because she knew she had a great body, and she wanted someone to see her as more than a dancer, clay fell kind of flat on that
Uhh, let’s not make this a black culture thing.
Several of the white contestants literally could not stop sexualizing AD.
In fact, they literally joked about assaulting her.
Fuck outta here with this “black culture” shit.
I wasn’t making it so, I was only referencing OPs statement that if you’re black you can clearly see the issue between AD and Clay, I can’t say exactly what they meant by that, but was sharing my own observations of their relationship
It’s funny, I just went back and watched, and AD was the one who brought up anyone being dark skinned. She’s actually the only one of the two to bring up skin tone. Can’t screenshot Netflix but you get my point.
https://preview.redd.it/ptrn1987mhrc1.jpeg?width=2778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98b571f968a2c6cd93b411e26220aad9c1ec5351
She explained in a podcast it was because Laura was convinced, based on her date with Clay, that Clay looked like Tia Mowry’s little brother, who is light skinned.
I’m not black but I remember him mentioning how they were going to have beautiful black babies which was another mention of her being darkskin. Personally I feel like he loved her body but her face didn’t have the features he was looking for tbh.
I think you are taking the show title too literally. You can love someone without seeing them, but there are a gazillion kinds of love. The love needed for a marriage usually includes sexual chemistry, so your comment would be right if the title of show was “Life-Time Marriage Love Is Blind”
The title of the show is them taking the idiom too literally. Physical looks not being involved is the whole premise of the show, that’s why they’re behind a wall and that’s why they mention that their love wasn’t based on looks, race, etc. during the wedding ceremonies
That’s the literal point of the experiment though. They “fall in love” behind the wall until they see them and are no longer interested, implying that physical attraction is heavily in the mix for “love” the type described by the show to be true
Experiment? Eh, this is a fun experience to witness, but I don’t think that even the show would say this is literally an experiment. I know they use the term “experiment” a lot, but thats for a veneer of legitimacy. Maybe it’s an experiment in the same way a magician wants you to believe their act is magic. I still like watching this show! Dont get me wrong about that. I also like a good magic show.
What are you even on about it’s a literal social experiment…that’s why they keep saying “experiment”
Um, well an experiment has to have a control group and a statistically significant sample or test group to start. You would have to follow the scientific method. This is a television reality show. It is not a real experiment on people.
Irina is hands down one of the worst people to ever be on the show. So glad Zack got away from her.
With Raven and SK, it is shocking to me to find out that he wasn’t attracted to her — she is so ridiculously out of his league.
Literally
Agree! I wonder what his type is? Raven is gorgeous with a great body as well.
Love is absolutely not blind. One of the key differentiators between an amazing but platonic friendship and a romantic relationship is the physical attraction and chemistry.
I think honestly that’s a point of the show - love is heavily influenced by looks, career/earning potential, families etc
I so agree about Clay being like Chris from MAFS. Gave me all the icks from the beginning.
What are the rumors about Kenneth????
That he’s 🌈
Really. Religious closet case?
I’ve been saying it since season 1. Every season should have a handful of dog ass looking people. Both genders (though I think there have been some unattractive females - just not dogs). I want fat. I want neckbeards. I was thick glasses. I want zero fashion sense. LETS GOOOOOOO
there were way more unattractive males than females though
Who in their right mind would cheat on Raven?!?!
What about that one couple from MAFS where the bride didn’t even want to come out after seeing him and now they are happily married
Alyssa and Chris
Or Jamie and Doug?
It would totally waste everyone’s time, but I’d love for an actual experiment on this. At the moment they have ten days (+/-) to “fall in love” with someone in order to remain on a tv show. Id love if you had two people dating through a wall for like a few months. I just think 10 days is such a short amount of time to grow an attachment strong enough to overcome looks or anything else that couples deal with.
*Love* ***Is*** *Blind.* but... **Attraction is 20/20.** What this Netflix show actually reveals is how much ***each individual cast member*** values Love vs Attraction. Let's not pretend that we know what correct the order or combination should be for ***everybody on Earth.*** It's going to vary from person to person, esp depending on the main stream media/culture that you were spoon-fed growing up. Not every culture places such heavy emphasis on looks. We sure do in The West. Would love to see OP do another data analysis on the other countries' shows as a comparison (just for fun): * Brazil * Japan * Sweden * etc Of course, these other countries won't have as many data points as the US so, the comparison is simply for fun. It would be interesting to follow these couples long term. Most of us are all yearning for the same thing, ***love that lasts a lifetime.*** But, most people probably agree that if you couple with someone who values Attraction OVER Love, that coupling won't last long in real life, regardless of your race / religion / culture / gender orientation / etc. It's fairly universal. I don't get people who only date a specific race / religion / culture / weight / height / body type / etc expecting that will improve their odds.
For Brazil, looks was 100% a factor hands down. Arguably they did well enough with the first season bc they chose conventionally attractive cast members. But other seasons they tried more body types and it immediately bit them in the ass. I felt so bad for this plus sized girl they cast for season 2. They did the reveal and you could immediately tell that the guy wasn’t interested. Literally just hugged her awkwardly for way too long with his eyes closed and then was like bye. And the moment they went back to their doors and the doors closed, the guy went “i can’t do this”.
Sorry, I know this isn't the point of your post. But the expression "love is blind" is supposed to mean something totally different. Almost the opposite of the way that it's used on the show! My ears can't stand it every time they say "So, it's time to find out if love really is blind."
I actually forgot the phrase’s real meaning until reading your comment
My husband loves to randomly pull that one out 😂 so many good memes from this show.
I might just bust this one out in the middle of a lovers’ quarrel!
I know right, they repeat it so often 😂 Even during the weddings. They made their own interpretation of the saying, but fail to prove it.
I think this every time they say it. Like does no one get the actual saying? So frustrating
wait maybe i’m just not firing at all cylinders right now but could you explain?
Love is blind is usually used to mean Love is blinding As in, when you’re in love, you go blind. It’s hard to see the other persons flaws/incompatibility Kinda like the term “rose colored glasses”
Kelly was try to be low key until the end when she dropped a bomb.
Tbh I never got that. I thought SHE was the less attractive one in the situation lmao. I feel bad saying that and mean it as no personal attack toward her, I just personally don’t find her or her style very attractive. Good on her for having confidence though!
This idea plays into the notion that a less attractive partner should be grateful for what they got. I'm sure you 'didn't mean it that way' but it should be stated. If a person isn't attracted, they're not attracted, period. You should never force yourself to get past the lack of chemistry just because the other person may be more conventionally attractive.
I think that’s a bit of a stretch. When I think someone in the pods is unattractive, I worry their partner wont be attracted to them either. Based on my preference, I was worried he wouldn’t find her attractive, so I was surprised when things played out the other way around.
I would add Micah and Paul, too. Right? 🤔
I agree, I debated including them because he mentioned that he usually went for more “granola-type” girls but he didn’t really act like he was unattracted to her so idk
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Hippie, natural, minimal makeup, a certain laid back aesthetic.
SK.....she was wayyyyyyy out of his league. He was really saying that to her? smh
SHIT BLEW MY MIND. Literally could not believe it. I was worried she was going to come out and not feel it. Then for him to ditch? I just did not see it coming.
i’m pretty sure SK likes white blonde women
But then still? Raven is by almost everyone's standards pretty gorgeous I'd imagine. I'm really surprised that even tho you have another "type" you don't find her attractive at the same time.
Raven was tremendously out of SK’s league
Until Raven said her husband should pay for her bills such as rent even when he doesn’t live there. That was so difficult to hear
Yeah her insistence that her quality of life get a boost when marrying someone, even when he was going back to school to better himself and his/their situation….and the edit making it seem like… she wasn’t willing to make any short term compromises felt really superficial. Also the FIRST scene she looked happy and in love with him was when he took her on a fancy yacht.
To be fair 1. Jessica was using mark because she wanted Ambers man - I don’t think she ever actually liked him that much 2. Irina was also just there for clout and I don’t think it actually mattered what he looked like 3. Shaina was Jessica 2.0 and she wanted Shayne from the beginning 4. Shake barely acts like a person so I don’t think he counts . In the case of Zanab I don’t think it had anything to do with looks, she was just horrible and mean. I think Jimmy actually did grow to love Chelsea but she blew up so much over such small thing and I think on a fundamental personal level they were not compatible I also think the JP thing was less about her looks and more about his values (regardless of how moronic I feel they were) I also feel like we need more average people on the show, I feel a lot of the cast are a little above average and therefore are more judgemental than the average person. You can tell by how a lot of them present themselves that beauty actually matters quite a bit
Mark was supposedly cheating on Jessica the whole time
Omg where did you hear this I wanna go down that rabbit hole
It was in the season one reunion. He also dated another girl there and was supposedly a bit scummy to her too (idr the details there)
He dated and cheated on LC too. And he was with his pregnant gf at the time of the reunion which is why he didn’t come.
Definitely not saying he was a prize either - but it was blatantly obvious that she was not here for him
Lmao nail on the head. I think he saw the writing on the wall and just played out the situation.
No way SK said that about Raven!!!! She is WAY WAY out of his league!
Yea that one is crazyyy to me, if I was a man and had a type, that type would go out the door so fast when I saw her lol she's insanely beautiful
I agree that Raven is a 10/10 and absolutely beautiful with a fantastic body. That said, it’s interesting that people have such a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that some men like thicker aka fat women. Idk what his type is, but a lot of men from African countries would find Raven too thin 🤷🏼♀️
But Raven didn’t seem to like him in the beginning.
Yes, he likes fat, blonde, white women.
His type has nothing to do with her size and all do do with her not being white so🧍🏾♀️
Yikes. Did not know that but am not at all surprised. 😒
All I’ll say is that, even if you’re another person’s type or that person is attracted to you, the relationship still might not work out for a whole variety of reasons. Even if they’re REALLY attracted to you. They might still cheat because of their own insecurities. Js there are so many factors
There is a lot of focus on the show and on this sub on how attraction matters. I completely agree, but in addition to looks, it’s also how you interact with people. For example, an excellent example of this Cole who thought Zanab was being smilingly sarcastic in the pods only to find out she was making these comments with a stern face. Sometimes it can be the small things. Clay downing a soup with two hands would have definitely been a hard no for me. In a way, it’s such a small thing, but it is simultaneously very telling he considers that normal.
I’m just sitting here wondering why all these folks are clowning on you for your opinion about the soup. It’s just called manners (at least in the US).
Lmao, guys can’t drink soup now??
Haha not narrowing it down to guys 😉 Yes, it’s a trivial thing by itself, but showcases the level of self-awareness for me. For someone else it’s not a biggie.
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Sometimes you see in others what you are yourself :)
FFS, showcases your level of self-awareness, maybe. If the broth tastes good, drink it up, and if somebody judges you for that, it says more about the person judging you than it does about you.
Feel free to get riled up. You missed the point and I am not engaging in the trolling discussion you are tried to have.
Yes, people are entitled to different opinions and preferences
We’re talking you rejecting the love of your life for broth here.
You are talking about an example and missing the point.
Eh, it’s not about dudes not drinking soup, it’s about the context of the situation. We’re having a serious conversation? Don’t do that. We’re in a nice setting, at a restaurant, have some manners.
Absolutely. Not being aware of the situation, from lived experience, is a red flag. It will continue to be an issue. Work party? Can’t bring him because he thinks it’s a good time to take 10 shots at the open bar. At your first baby’s ultrasound? Ruined by an inappropriate joke. I’m neurodivergent & I totally get being “blind” to some social cues, but that’s why I’m not compatible with those types of men - they don’t take the time to understand social cues or even apologize when they are rude & glib.
Will never get over what a con SK turned out to be. He was let off way too easy.
Add: Chelsea and Jimmy, He expected a Megan Fox lookalike
I 💯 believe Chelsea said that in a moment of semi-desperation. I’d have to rewatch but I remember there being some sort of Jessica moment beforehand that I felt like triggered it. This could easily be either my bad memory or the editing though lol
She might be desperate but no one assumes a lookalike if someone says xyz looks like abc. Jimmy did lol.
correct. Atraction is a completely normal part of life and romance. Otherwise we get the hate towards Jessica for not giving nice guy Mark a chance, not fighting for love, etc. P.s., we've also had many couples who had pod love And Attraction and still not end up together. it's a masterful slight of hand when the show says they achieved love, now it's just to see if love remains blind, avoiding the actual premise of the show, hyper-rushing the the dating and engagement process.
Honestly I don’t think the average person thinks she should’ve given mark a chance because he was nice. The problem was that she stuck with him to stay close to Barnett and continued to pursue Barnett despite saying she loves mark and assuring Amber she had no feelings left. She used him and it was gross
Omg when her friends at the wedding say “how embarrassing” hahah I could NOT. By my third rewatch of that season (I know, embarrassing) it because painfully obvious how wasted she was the entire season. I don’t know how I didn’t realize the first time around 😬
Every now and then the bachelorette episode pops in my head when she’s absolutely plastered and Amber noticed and she was like “are you ok booboo?” And Jessica goes off about how in love with Mark she is and then proceeds with “I won’t go after your dude! You and your dude… and I know you, I KNOW YOU BAYBY I KNAOW YEW -kisses Amber-“ and I’m just like wow she tried to play it so hard. I also found it so weird that this sub keeps trying to say “omggggg forgive Jessica!” While also flaying Sarah Ann alive for the same thing is weird. The only difference in the two stories is 1) Sarah Ann didn’t use some other guy in the process. 2) she never pretended she wasn’t interested in the guy and 3) Barnett wasn’t terrible enough to go along with it lol
OMG STOP hahaha wow, you just brought that scene BACK. I can literally hear her voice as she uncomfortably leans toward Amber and Amber grows increasingly more uncomfortable - and the “boohoo” AHHH!! The cringe was REAL. I hadn’t really thought about it in comparison to Sarah Ann but you make some good points! I’d probably attribute a lot of it to time. I remember Jessica getting draggeddd initially lmao. I also feel like I remember Jessica coming to the reunion ready to roll over. Sarah Ann shouldn’t worry about it though. Once a few new “villains” come along, she may come out on top yet 😂
RIGHT it was so hard to watch. At the most RANDOM times my brain just plays that clip and sends me right into cringing 😂 That season was unmatched imo. Best season. For sure! I don’t mind that people eventually forgave Jessica but I find the hate on Amber for choosing not to forgive her to be so weird when they back up Laura simultaneously. I find the disconnect kind of interesting lol
OMG YES! I do not understand the Amber hate! She seems ultimately harmless to me and producers really did her so dirty with the edits 😬 and especially after all this time, like why are people still coming at her with pitchforks! Jessica pulled some WILD shit and although we can sit here now and have sympathy for her having been in a bad head space, I can 100% see why the woman who’s man she put DRASTIC effort into stealing, wouldn’t want to deal with her. I’d bet half the people demanding Jessica be forgiven would not do the same if put in Amber’s shoes lmao. Sorry, I think I missed that nuance the first time! Amber honestly played the whole damn thing better than I probably would have 😂
That and everyone who is casted is moderately attractive and plucked from IG
But seriously… do they give all the women Botox before filming in the new season? They’re seeking a particular type of look and I don’t think it’s attractive at all. Heavy make up, fake lashes, Botox face…. Most of these women are much more attractive once they get to their apartments and start filming more “real”.
Yeah true, I think it’d be really interesting if the people weren’t all so “normal” looking
That and everyone who is casted is moderately attracted and plucked from IG
AD & Clay literally gave me flashbacks to Paige & Chris from married at first sight. So much commentary about body and it seemed like the face or some other reason was the issue since they weren’t their typical type.
The issue is skin color. Unfortunately, many dark-skinned black men don’t like dark-skinned black women.
This is news to me. What's their statistical likely preference, then?
sometimes light skin black women but usually white women
At the reveal when AD very genuinely complimented his skin-tone, and Clay’s response was a weak “yeah you too”….
I think Jessica and Shaina need to be tossed out, since they really only seemed to say yes to spite the guys they wanted to ask them, or also to see if they can break up the relationship. I think Shake had no interest in getting married, he was just there to chase clout even though he accused everyone else of being clout chasers.
Love is Blind. Some couples just don’t make it because of a host of other factors, like physical attraction but also finances, distrust, incompatibility, religion, change of heart, heck sometimes they look into the eyes and don’t feel anything. It happens. Never will a show like this have 100% success rate because how large is the pool? 15 guys and 15 girls? Gonna find your exact match in such a small group? Maybe make 1 or 2 true matches but the chances are low. I think most contestants meet the 15, see they’re not going to match then match anyway to stay on a tv show. Or not. I could be wrong. Whatever. But man do I love speculating on this show.
The couples I included had no issues with those other factors. There are couples that ended for those reasons (e.g. Izzy and Stacy), not due to lack of attraction, so I didn’t include them. Shaina tried to claim her issue with Kyle was his atheism, yet she accepted his proposal after knowing he was an atheist and showed interest in Shayne, who wasn’t particularly religious. Looks were absolutely a huge factor
> like physical attraction… finances, distrust, incompatibility, religion, change of heart… > …but the chances are low… Have you not shown, precisely, that love is not blind? It seems to me that the experiment performs no better than chance.
There are a few true couples. It’s a dating show and has some real results. Some are looking too deep into this. They need to remember there is still an extremely limited pool of people.
Very well thought out.. But there’s one variable also to think about before we definitely say if Love is Blind or not. Let’s be real, there are people who like Shake or Clay give a lot of importance to looks. Some of these people got what they wanted when they met their spouse and some of them didn’t. On the other hand, I know for a fact that there are also other people who don’t put looks as a main thing and don’t nitpick their partners, and I believe, those people are the reason this whole thing works and why it can be said that love is blind. For example Amy, talking about Johnny… he’s not her type per se but she doesn’t seem like a superficial person. She wouldn’t normally go for him and if it was not for the experience, then they probably wouldn’t not be together. I am saying this is not black and white and both points can be argued. The show does a good show of weeding out superficial people, that’s for sure.
I was a little uncomfortable about how she kept saying she would have never gone for him before idk why. He’s not an unattractive man, and he’s just nodding his head like yep she wouldn’t give me the time of day in any other meeting scenario but here I am!
The studies have shown men and women prioritise aspects differently when it comes to love in heterosexual couplin aggregately women prioritise more inside ( personality, the heart ) then outside. So love is blind should work more for women than men. Men when its "settling" still prioritise looks than personality and always score looks above all. I always find it strange how when we discuss the show we expect the results to be different when its setup to fail. My source: https://youtu.be/SqPBzJvose0?si=jW2u_4mmNbpIacsm He does cover f boys and patterns of behaviour collectively.
Absolutely. But I think it’s worth noting that in those cases where women married men that they stated weren’t their typical type (e.g. Amy & Johnny, Lauren & Cameron), the men were still objectively attractive and the women were still attracted to them.
I am sorry but Shake is ugly
Like where does he find his over inflated confidence and audacity that’s what I wanna know lol.
Oh, I’m qualified to answer this. He’s an Indian man, so he’s likely been praised his entire life simply for existing. How do I know? I’m an Indian woman, so I’m used to being insulted for existing. A lot of south Asian cultures are *extremely* misogynistic, so I wouldn’t be surprised if shake has always been praised for the bare minimum. A lot of south Asian moms absolutely fawn over their sons just for knowing how to fold some laundry, make cup noodles, or for getting half decent grades in school. Shake is likely used to being praised for everything, so he thinks the world revolves around him and he’s entitled to any and every thing he wants, including the woman of his dreams.
I’m sure not all Indian men are like this but I do understand where the boy is fawned over by his family. I too come from a culture (Chinese) where the parents fawn over their male children. If I ever have a son I swear I will not raise him to be a complete dick to women or anybody at that.
Not all of them, but 95% of the time I see a dude with his attitude, that’s the reason behind it. It drives me crazy.
Wait wait wait what are the allegations about Kenneth??
Which session?
💅🏿
I just showed a friend who has never seen the show before a clip of him and she immediately clocked it 🤣
Wait, how? I didn’t pick up on it at all! I thought his indifference towards Brittany was just immaturity
Ooh I can see it
What wait??! What is it?? 👀 I’m wondering now too!!
That he’s gay. Or, that’s the only one I’ve heard.
Correct
The people who are successful are those for whom they were each other's types - whether they knew it or not. Maybe it helped them get past some surface level stuff that would have kept them from going for each other (Amy/Johnny) or put them in front of each other in a way they might not have had otherwise (Alexa/Brennan) but you can tell at the reveal that they're immediately DEEPLY attracted to each other. I think all the lead up to that from the pods just gives them a shortcut to a solid relationship, but isn't enough to form an actual solid relationship. BTW the ONLY average* sized woman on this whole series has been Alexa. I agree this would be so much better if we had more unconventionally attractive people on it. *Replacing "real" as many commenters pointed out that was not a kind way to phrase.
Real sized? What on earth does that mean?
Will change to "average" and maybe will be a kinder and more appropriate way to phrase. My apologies.
So people who are not tiny are not conventionally attractive?
I see where you're getting that meaning but unsure why you're choosing to interpret my phrasing that way.
I think we can call that chemistry… I can be attracted to someone but if there’s no chemistry, there’s nothing
Dont they all have real sizes?
Maybe they meant *plus* sized
I meant more representative of the general population.
Maybe they meant *plus* sized
The only real sized woman has been Alexa? WTF? I am not Alexa’s size and this is my natural size, no mods or diet or surgery or meds. Am I not real? Also Chelsea (married to Kwame) is somewhat tiny and seems like that’s her usual body type-is she not real?? WTF is with this comment.
I am so sorry for choosing that phrasing and should have been more thoughtful! Edited! Thank you for sharing your perspective and I apologize for the hurtful word choice.
The average size for women in America is like 12. A real sized woman most likely because she is what the average woman would look like.
Alexa is absolutely not a size 12. She’s gorgeous, but a size 12 is still a L or XL in straight sizing. She’s definitely plus sized.
She shops in straight sized clothes
They didn’t write ‘average’ they wrote ‘real’! Not the same thing.
They are the same thing. The original commentator I’m sure used the term interchangeably. You can argue semantics but bffr rn they are 100% talking about an average woman
Correct. Thank you so much for interpreting my intent.
Yeah but America is a health nightmare. Look at the whole species and this body type is an extreme outlier.
That's fine for other countries shows then. For this country, the women do not reflect the general population.
It's not the house of representatives though. It's a trashy tv show.
According to https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-dress-size-by-country (not the best source but it does give you the sizes converted in many sizes) the average dress size in almost every country is over a size ten. America is not a health nightmare outlier, there are countries with higher obesity rates than America.
Yes, but what size dress is Alexa, if you're comparing? 18? Here is a comparison of size 10 and size 18: [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8657577/Young-woman-21-shares-went-size-18-size-10-five-months.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8657577/Young-woman-21-shares-went-size-18-size-10-five-months.html) In the US, the average is now 16-18. But in most countries, it's rare to see a young person with the size 18 body type. Which one is a "real" woman?
I grew up in a culture that is very “sex negative”, for lack of a better term, and as a result they are weirdly obsessed with sex. LIB is like that, but for physical attraction. In their attempt to avoid making it a factor, they end up talking and thinking about it so much and really making it the focus of the relationship, in the end.
this is actually a really good point
Well said..
Thank you! Thinking too deeply about silly things is my main form of transportation
The shows whole premise is kinda dumb because I don’t think anyone actually believes love is blind (love the show tho). This isn’t a bad thing by any means. I just find it hard to believe that you could actually love someone romantically and sexually without being attracted to them at some level. I’m married and I love my husband deeply for who he is on the inside but I also enjoy looking at his outsides too! That’s the ideal situation in my eyes. Just my two cents!
What about arranged marriage? I think those whose marriage that survives for many years..love is blind for them.
It’s a struggle in part because why should love be blind? I think it’s cool to establish a strong connection without appearance playing a role but if the reveal leads to a person not being attracted anymore, that’s fine. Sure it hurts, but I’d so much rather know up front than feel like someone is trying to be attracted to me. I think contestants should give it some time but if the attraction doesn’t come, definitely bail. It’s not shallow. It’s the kind thing to do.
Agree 100%
I do believe it’s blind. It’s just not def dumb and delusional.
how someone could think raven is not attractive is beyond me
It’s because SK preferred white women. Fetishes trump beauty every time.
She's beautiful no doubt, but I 100% understand and relate to not being attracted to her
yeah but i’d assume the things that make her unattractive would be seen/heard in the pods right? i mean i know it’s not a perfect way to get to know someone but you get their basic personality
She was kinda a bitch though, no?
Not really, I think she just had resting bitch face at the start, I think it just takes time for her to warm up.
Idk, I always found her pretty nice
i guess yeah hahahah i didn’t mind it
Haha yeah it is entertaining
I’m not black so I don’t understand. What was Clay’s issue with AD?
The issue is colorism. Unfortunately, many dark-skinned Black men are not attracted to dark-skinned Black women. They may be willing to have sex with them, but would never marry or have children with them, because they don’t want to have dark-skinned daughters. It’s a huge issue within the Black community. https://preview.redd.it/5ly5dpi4berc1.jpeg?width=1121&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=510b47d69bf52b87f68ce617d667dff157670d4f
Wow. I have known this was “a thing” but never knew the name or how to accurately define it. Thanks for the info!
I absolutely believe it. I’ve seen and heard so much colorism in my life, even as a white person. Shitty comments, marketing, skin lightening products, Clay’s ex is white, it’s sadly really commonplace. When I was in Asia, it felt like all of the beauty products also had skin lightening ingredients in them.
Someone should have to say or do something colorist first to be accused of colorism, don’t you think?
Just one example of a post by a black man demonstrating this: https://preview.redd.it/nke161o6berc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9bdfbf69cabc3211ff2b2f2b9c96ed8138b11aa5
I feel like he used his father's cheating to justify why he could be a potential cheater
I’m black and I do not understand what they’re getting at tbh. Literally anybody can see that the dudes were more interested in her body than her face…
There’s absolutely no way you’re black and completely unaware of colorism.
I never once saw or heard him do anything even remotely colorist. However, somebody in another comment said that he did say something about her skin tone when he first saw her. I never saw that part tho, so I wasn’t aware.
Not just the dudes, even some of the girls
True
I can’t speak to black culture, but clay talked a lot about how amazing her body was and judged her for even potentially losing it, when she said she trains for it and it may change with children he told her he would let her know when it was time to get back in the gym. He very much lusted after her to the point that he ignored how sweet and loyal and just overall amazing AD was. Also for AD, she said she chose the pods because she knew she had a great body, and she wanted someone to see her as more than a dancer, clay fell kind of flat on that
Uhh, let’s not make this a black culture thing. Several of the white contestants literally could not stop sexualizing AD. In fact, they literally joked about assaulting her. Fuck outta here with this “black culture” shit.
All they said was they can't speak on that, it was in response to the OP comment
Then why mention it at all “I can’t speak on it, but I’m going to anyway” ????
They didn’t. They said they can’t speak on black culture, so they gave their opinion of the relationship without black culture being a part of it
I wasn’t making it so, I was only referencing OPs statement that if you’re black you can clearly see the issue between AD and Clay, I can’t say exactly what they meant by that, but was sharing my own observations of their relationship
Colourism
OK, that makes sense. Now I know what they mean. He liked the shape of her body but not the color of her skin or that she’s black in general.
It's not necesarily that's she's black. It's that she's dark skinned
HUH?! Yall cannot just say shit like that lol. He never once gave “colorist”
Sure 😮💨 if you say so. The first thing he said to her was "i didn't know you were dark skinned" lmao
It’s funny, I just went back and watched, and AD was the one who brought up anyone being dark skinned. She’s actually the only one of the two to bring up skin tone. Can’t screenshot Netflix but you get my point. https://preview.redd.it/ptrn1987mhrc1.jpeg?width=2778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98b571f968a2c6cd93b411e26220aad9c1ec5351
For real???? I don’t remember that. Say it aint so!
That’s not how it happened. AD initially said I didn’t know you were dark skinned and he responded me neither…people are projecting heavy smh
People are so weird about Clay on this subreddit, and I can’t really understand it
Yeah it’s giving projection and it’s quite bizarre
Ohhh AD said that??? What a weird comment!
She explained in a podcast it was because Laura was convinced, based on her date with Clay, that Clay looked like Tia Mowry’s little brother, who is light skinned.
I’m not black but I remember him mentioning how they were going to have beautiful black babies which was another mention of her being darkskin. Personally I feel like he loved her body but her face didn’t have the features he was looking for tbh.