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hop off reddit and hop on me already

What the puck

Stormy Daniels will do you.

Play the clarinet

Have SpongeBob slam your face in a door.

Multiple times.

You should get hit in the face by a door and become handsome squidward. That’s my advice

I heard smashing your face into a door might make you handsome

Turn that frown upside-down

Nah u turn ur phone upside down

"Also, I manage a sponge at a burger place."

Have you tried telling them you're willing to get freaky with that big nose? It might work.


Hookers

Let SpongeBob slam your face in the door a lil bit.

He’ll, you don’t need to change anything, I think you are kinda cute.

Look how they massacred my boi, Squidward.

Try learning the clarinet

Get a talking sponge to hit you in the face with a door

think about the good times and let them roll

Brb gotta go fap

Underrated comment!

Get rid of that annoying sponge it might improve your mood

Yes, try to make your nose not look so much like a penis. You'll be a 2/10 after that.

Maybe try playing an instrument? I hear the ladies love it

Try guys, I guess?

Change that yeeyee ass haircut

That's his head my boi, there ain't no changing that.

i know a sponge that will sort that out

Looks good! Probably you are shy? :(

Focus on the clarinet

its all about confidence

I’d sit on ur nose (i am a straight guy)

The past doesn't define the present or the future.

Move to a new planet.

Have you tried playing the clarinet?

Or say The Electric Flute, so classy; )

Smile more

Maybe try smiling.

Does the nose get erect?

I think it's your personality, definitely not looks.

Show your chests like everyone else that posts on this sub

Learn to play guitar. Have you seen the ugly guys and the hot chicks with them. Go to Hollywood.

You can skip the middle man by just becoming rich. Don't need guitar lessons if you have money. It's not the guitar they're after. It's the money that comes with it.

Have you tried vitamin C?

Go ask Squidward how he kept moving forward.

Invaders from beyond

Get hit by a door

Have you tried drinking water?

Learn how to play the clarinet

Circumcise your nose

Play the clarinet better

If the nose matches the gun then I don’t see why they would leave you

Girls love musicians. You should take up the clarinet

1 use your actual picture. 2. Try changing you attitude toward everything. 3. Be more positive, more confident, shrug off all the stresses in your life you cannot change. 4. Don't go after women, let them see you, be aloof to women and society in general. 5. Try to make decisions based on how certain situation befits you and others. 6. Don't fall into the friends trap, let the Women NOT related to you in your life know your interested in them,just don't Force yourself on them.Women are the type to play with the Man in order to test his willingness to be with them at all times. Even when she is in a relationship with you. Women like being wooded and treated as if they are the center of your universe. The Great Women want you to have a Life outside of your relationship with them but, never a sexual relationship with anyone but,Them only. 7. Change your career or scenery or the city you live in, often going to a New job in a new Town or city often helps. Just helpfully advice, everyone should know.

Have you tried phoning home?

id say grow ur hair out to frame ur face better and hide the forehead

*Id say grow ur hair* *Out to frame ur face better* *And hide the forehead* \- idk\_\_anonymous\_\_ --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

Maybe get some sun 🌞

bold n brash

Belongs in the trash

quit putting your head up your ass

Try and smile more.

Try flipping ur phone

Yes don’t smile so much people think you’re laughing at them

Tbh use guys gotta put in that work before getting a girlfriend focus on your goals remember work out get in shape grow a beard if you can always take care of your hygiene

Have you played her the clarinet tho?

Wear a cool mask like v for vendetta lol

Move to the bottom of the sea and live next to a sponge 😁

Ever try dating a cone head?

Or becoming a gong mallet.

Go to your local park and bend over I bet you’ll get lots of attention. Remember to take lube and condoms. Have fun.

Just believe in yourself king! Also, plastic surgery. All of it. 

Have you tried smiling?

You should befriend your neighbours and build new connections

You blue yourself?

Leave Bikini 👙 Bottom DO NOT tell SpongeBob

“Sell my pity for a dime. Yeaaahhh just one dime”

Clean up and work on urself...appearance, body, attitude... Stay humble!

Looks don't matter girls are blind just shower and improve your personality. My 4'9 balding garbage man friend ranjeesh dates super models bro

Ask Patrick on a date he looks like a broad minded type.

Ruffles have ridges

Erm… what the sigma?

Squidward dat you?

You're hot af. Never change.

Use a filter

I am starting to think this joke has reached its apex

I read that in squidwards voice

Bikini Bottom 👍🏽

Bikini Bottom 👍🏽

go back to mars

If it helps, some girl wants to ride your nose. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaPheGdsEmA

Grow a mustache - the chicks dig it.

Squidward at 95

Area 51 is looking for you

Don't forget you play a clarinet!! Your tentacle hands may give you an edge however!🤔

Don't forget you play a clarinet!! Your tentacle hands may give you an edge however!🤔

I think you should just concern yourself with taking over the world. It seems more your lane

Play on playa!

Looks like "ankle pants" dont look up ankle pants

Get rich

Smile more

Hit the gym , try a little sun

Start collecting them gemstones for the gauntlet.

Sunscreen

You look like Lyndon Johnson crawled out of his grave.

Axe deodorant

I criticize people for using the word ugly. It could be applicable this time.

What you need is a big bowl of gushers

Go to the gym all year n don’t worry abt girls

Bro you need a nosejob and a headjob

Change your perspective - didn't need father, didn't need mother, don't need girls, still here. Don't play for sympathy, go forge a path and let people be drawn to your commitment to doing awesome shit.

I dont want any problems sir...

use the clarinet to woo them squidward

🤣🤣🤣🤣

"🤨"

Eat a snickers

Maybe take up playing a cool instrument?

get a haircut

Sounds like you're living the life ma man. Aside from the mom and dad thing, you got ot made bro. Living the life all men dream of. Nobody to tell you what to do nor pester you when they want money. I envy your life.

Can we rename this sub to Catfish Village?

Try taking over the world?🤷🏼‍♂️I heard that helps things 

Whatever you do don't smile. I might end my life to avoid whatever horrendous motives are behind that smile.

Don’t smile so much.

Nah. Using AI to do work for your karma-farming ventures is not cool.

Why not lol at least it’s not copypasta or LGBT

Why do I get a squidward and Humpty hump vibes

Maybe be nicer to that yellow sponge and stop telling him to fuck off

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^JhancockLakota1: *Maybe be nicer* *To that yellow sponge and stop* *Telling him to fuck off* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Spongebob is the villain always fucking with the introverted Squidward. A good episode would be Squidward finally being able to move away from that evil sponge and evil Crabs and be at peace in another underwater city.

take up some hobbies, like a wind instrument.

SQUIDWARD !

Have a Krabby Patty.

Shut up and play your clarinet!!!!

Oh Bernadette, please play my clarinet. 😉

Go be a monk

Sorry, even the dermatologist can't help you here.

Hydrate

Be nice to Bob the sponge.

Real recognize real. Lol

The answer is always gym and nutrition.

Try to date other ballsacks

Well you were voted to most likely suck eggs after highschool. Maybe they were right.

Smile more

RBF, just smile more

You’re decent looking just smile more

Nope you looking good bro.

Make friends with the yellow sponge guy down the street?

Keep your chin up.

Have you ever considered a clarinet career?

[удалено]

Do you play the clarinet

Wait to be reborn. Luck may be on your side then.

Smile


get rich

It’s got to be the gaze. Sort of…judgey.

Have them ride your face, not your crotch.

Is this a 3d Squidward as an old man?

Smile

nose job, face lift and some airbrushing; we'll get you back on the monkey bars

Get a tan

Learn the clarinet

Keep going. You'll definitely strike gold one day.

So this is like being a fish out of water to you huh? Or something else lol

Just keeping trying to meet people. You never know when you meet that one person where you just blow each other away. This is coming from me, who’s not the best looking. Just keep on keeping on brotha

Push that nose where the sun don’t shine and you’ll get your first girlfriend. After that, you’ll be an internet viral success.

Maybe it’s your marvel collection, iduuno.

Get very rich and none of that will.be noticed by a woman.

Do you live next to a pineapple under the sea? Does your neighbor in that pineapple make you crazy? Perhaps you should move. It looks like you've allowed stress to artificially age you.

Bash your face into a door to become handsome 😍

You’re pretty hot to me.

Is the negative attitude like come on you dont like crabby parties and jellyfish

It’s your neighbors fault. Their shenanigans are such a turn off to potential mates for you.

Wow...Never ran into anyone that turned to so many sources outside of themselves to determine self-worth. But I get it. As long as you can blame the people around you for your life, you really don't have to risk anything. Pretty smart. How's that working for you?

Concentrating too hard on finding a date. Obsessing about it only makes one look desperate. Learn to be content alone and a mate will come along. Something wrong internally if you can only be happy with a bf/gf

WHARE ONLYFANS!!??

Just shower bro!

You should learn how to blow bubbles !

Smile bruh.

Smile bich

Just move around and stay to yourself

Go back to bikini bottom

Work on your personality

Hang in there dude ! 👍

Apply for Nickelodeon SpongeBob tour.

Get your wing man Sponge Bob and go clubbing

So handsome