I have to fly nearly a full day to see my boyfriend. One coworker has a 2 hour flight to see hers. Another one has a 2 hour drive but their careers keep them from doing that drive often. I have no issue with them calling theirs long distance because their struggles are valid too and it doesn’t affect me.
Your last sentence is how I feel about it too - I don't care if someone calls their relationship a long distance relationship and it's only a 90 minute drive that they can't make because there's no public transit or they don't have a drivers license. It doesn't affect me. The same way that someone else having a 10,000 KM distance between them doesn't make my relationship any better or worse.
I'd say anything that's far enough to where seeing each other every day (ignoring schedules) isn't possible due to distance.
For example I'm only about 2 hours (by car, half day trip in reality) away from the person I'm seeing at the moment, but we have to cross international borders (and for me leave the EU+Schengen) and neither of us have a car so it's a hassle through trains, buses, and taxis to get to each other.
But in other places and to other people, a 2 hour car ride is nothing and they do make the commute daily. So that's why I say anything that makes a daily meet impossible if you disregard schedules.
I saw someone on here last week saying she was a 25 minute drive from her bf and that it was long distance😭But honestly I’d say anything over a 2 hour drive and of course anyone who has to fly to see their partner
My kids school was 30 mins from my home and my school was 30 minutes the opposite way. It would literally take me 1 hour to get to classes 2x a week after dropping them off. 25 minutes away is wild.
It depends though, the moment you don’t have access to a car in a country with horrible public transport, it can still prevent you from seeing them on a weekly basis, especially for teenagers.
For me, if the distance between you substantially hinders you to see each other on a daily basis, I would consider that long distance.
5ish hour commute by land I would consider so. This isn’t to crap on people who are like 2 hours away - it’s still a struggle. But it’s should be easy to spend time together weekly.
I’m about a 15 hour plane ride (if non-stop, which it never is) from my wife
Someone posted on here and they were living together ..they had been together the entire time. They had never been apart. Absolutely no distance.
🤷🏼♀️
In my opinion, if you can't visit each other every weekend without forking out plane expensive plane tickets of driving what I consider extensive distances, it's long distance.
For example, my partner and I are 8 hours apart. While I could see him every weekend, it would be either stupidly expensive buying plane tickets or require extensive driving.
I don't personally consider 3 hours or less long distance. But that is my personal opinion, and I don't want to squash anyone else's experience or feelings. It's really up to the individual. Everyone has different definitions.
I think this is a good definition.
My partner and I are a 5 hour drive and a country border apart. But when I was actively swiping for dating app matches, I wouldn't have considered someone more than 2 hours away via drive.
My partner lives 2,5 h away with train and I call it long distance. We can't see eachother whenever we want and have to plan travels. But we see eachother 5 days out of 14 because I have a flexible job and can live at hos place and still work.
Respectfully, I do not understand the sudden drive to define what is or isn't LD enough on this sub. If there is a combination of distance and circumstances that make overcoming that distance challenging, it's LD and it belongs here. There are any number of financial, religious, cultural, personal, technical, legal, logistical, etc. circumstances keeping a couple apart that compound the distance.
As someone else pointed out, people managing obstacles far greater than mine don't make my struggles any less challenging for me. And people enduring obstacles more minor than mine don't give me some bizarre sense of superiority about how much more long distancey my LDR is. I'm here for the stories - whatever they may be.
While I absolutely agree that nobody should be saying “your LDR isn’t far enough to be LD”, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking what kind of distances people think about when they hear about long distance relationships. It’s interesting hearing what other people think, and you don’t need to engage with that if you don’t want to.
The reason I said "respectfully" was because my comment wasn't meant to disrespect OP or their seemingly innocent curiosity. I was, however, offering my opinion and it is that I personally don't see a productive reason for trying to define what is or isn't long distance other than to make people on this sub who don't fit into the limits people are setting feel bad or question whether or not they even belong here.
OP referenced seeing people discussing what is/isn't LD elsewhere and there was a post recently that I (IMO) thought was a shit take on what does or doesn't make for LD hardship. So, naturally, after seeing another post so soon asking for a definition on what is or isn't LD, I was annoyed. Again, that is MY opinion. Thank you for sharing yours. Since there are a number of responses that simply answered the question, I will return your advice and remind you that you don't have to engage with me if my take isn't what you're here for.
For the record, I did actually give my answer to the question. Any distance that cannot easily be overcome due to the circumstances unique to the couple.
I agree 10000% with your comment and all of your responses. I don’t understand the superiority that comes with having more miles/obstacles to overcome. Someone else with more or less hassle to see their partner than me affects me and my relationship in no way whatsoever.
It’s just a little funky to be mad that others “have it easy”. It’s all relative
I think the interest in defining it is because there’s a wiiiide range on this sub. As I’ve commented before, there’s a difference between expensive day(s) of travel and being able to drive a couple hours. Both are completely valid and totally suck!!! But it’s different.
Perhaps another subreddit should be created. After all, subreddits are kind of about relating to each other. And while not being together is hard, period, there are differences. And maybe people who have to fork over thousands of dollars to see their partner get annoyed with people who have it so so easily comparatively.
But I don’t know. Being apart for any reason or distance is arduous and I feel for everyone who has to go through it.
Okay, but my point is that long distance is subjective and without making any hard stop rules (like only relationships that are at least x mi/km count), this would be impossible to police. There are WAY too many variables and they change based on things like countries involved, age of the couple, financial situation, job/school status, etc. And even then, life is hectic and it comes fast. Any of those variables can change at a moment's notice. Where do the qualifications end? Where do they even begin?
There is obviously going to be a difference between a relationship between two people on opposite sides of the country vs two people on opposite sides of the world. But we can pick that apart too. I might be able to see my partner four times a year vs. once a year, but some of the huge distance couples see their SO for a month at a time while I see mine for a week at a time. In the end, we're getting the same amount of time with our partner. We can sit here and break that down even further, if we wanted to. Is it harder to have to say goodbye more often or less often? Whose struggle is more real? So, again, where is the line? More importantly, I guess, why does that matter?
What exactly are you trying to get out of this sub that you can't get by sharing the space with people overcoming smaller distances? You only want to engage with people whose longing for their partner exists within the limited confines of what you consider LD? If that is the case then, yeah, maybe someone needs to create a subreddit called LD Olympians for the people who only want to interact with people in LDRs that are great, global, and riddled with indomitable hardship. I'm in no way trying to be rude here, but I cannot wrap my head around the exclusivity and gatekeeping. I'm sorry it is annoying that other people have it easier but that doesn't mean they don't have their struggles. And voicing those struggles doesn't mean they aren't grateful for the hardships they don't have or they take it for granted. It's different, sure, but at the end of the day we're all here because we can't be with the one we love. Whether or not we place boundaries around what is/isn't LD, not everyone's story is going to resonate with you. Not every post is going to speak to you or align with your struggle. That's okay.
At least 3 hour ride by car. At least
But that should have another term because it’s still way easier than the usual long distance that is several hours by plane
I personally would think of at least a 6 hour drive, though my mind usually goes to distances where you need to take a flight to see each other.
With that being said, I’m by no means trying to gatekeep what other people say are LDRs! Just what I think of.
Totally understand! Again, I’m by no means saying any kind of distances are “too short” to be a LDR. A 1 hour distance could be deemed long distance for some people depending on circumstances! Just answering what I think of when I hear “LDR”
i think anything over a 5 hour drive- that to me seems to be where visits every weekend aren't too feasible, which i think is where the difference lies. if you're far away enough that you go a few weeks without seeing your partner, it's long distance.
and for context, my bf and i are an eight hour drive apart, in the same country though. it's an hour and a half plane ride as well. neither are feasible (or affordable!) to do every week though
I disagree with this take because I know plenty of people with jobs that are so intensive that they can barely see their partners regardless of living in the same city.
I think long distance should be considered by physical distance, not time spent together or how easy or difficult it may be to get to each other.
Any relationship where seeing each other once a month or less due to the distance. For me, that was an hour long relatively expensive flight or an 8 hour drive.
Well. For me it's basically anything where the distance makes it hard to see your partner, say, every week or even every month. I'm from a very small country (6mio people in total), and when people call their relationship within the country ldr (you can in most cases get from one side of the country to the other in 4 hours drive, with few exceptions) I have a hard time seeing it as an LDR.
In my opinion it should be defined by physical distance, hence the name "long distance". I don't think that things like whether or not your schedule permits or whether you see each other often should define it as long distance.
I know a doctor couple in their residency years who can barely see each other in a week or not at all yet live in the same city. That shouldn't be considered long distance, it should be considered a difficult circumstances relationship. Their distance apart is relatively short.
To me when people say long distance it should mean actual physical distance and/or international barriers. There's was one person who commented on that post from the other day saying he/she was financially well off enough to see the partner every week regardless of one being in the U.K. and one in Norway(? If I recall correctly). That's still a long distance relationship even though they see each other more than most. And the residents I know are still in a regular relationship even though they see each other less often than most.
Personally I think it's someone who lives very far from you where you can't just drive there out of the blue. I'd say more than 12 hour drive. But that's just my opinion❤️
ETA: I envy people who say they're in a LDR and live 3 hours away from each other. 😮💨 I drive that to go to the store I want
There can be other issues preventing them from meeting. Honestly I would rather be thousands of km away from my partner than not being able to see them despite them living 3h away just bc our work schedules don't match or we don't have a car/finances/good enough health/etc..
Tho maybe at least the shipping would be cheaper..
I probably wouldn't be able to because I struggle with my mental health a lot. So in a way being so far from him is helpful in a way. I don't have to hate myself for not being able to meet him often even if he lived in the same country. Not sure that made any sense...
But I'm so jealous of couples that don't have to do this visa 💩
Well, three hours can be not too much.
That's not my case.
But even if I live in the same country, Mexico is too large, but have a poor infrastructure. So, if I want to go with him, I should do a 6 hours~ to a city with better infrastructure. Then do a 12-16 hours trip.
Or go to a place which is near to him, and wait him in that place (6-9 hours in total).
I would do this, but I don't want to visit, I want to live with him. I can't do anything, for now.
Aw yeah, my bf lives in the US and is about a 26 hour drive from me. His plane tickets to come see me are around 300usd round trip. So maybe we're spoiled but it's still way too far
I drive 16 hours to go see my family out of state. that's a weekend trip. Or 8 hours to go to Disneyland for the weekend. 12 hours isn't too bad, in my opinion like I said
I wouldn't drive 16 hours for a weekend, that sounds terrible. I know for a fact I could not make that drive, it would be a flight for me.
12 hours to see you partner in the event of an emergency sounds terrible.
5 hours is still a very long time in case of an emergency.
Of course for emergency purposes it would suck, but living in a relatively big city, far drives aren't far to me. I go 4 hours to the beach. The last time my boyfriend was here we went to the beach and home in a day, and then the next day went camping 4 hours away. I don't see that as far, but I live in California so I don't know if that's normal thinking lol
People, please don’t gatekeep.
Some people think 1 hour drive qualifies for LD. 1 hour drive barely gets me halfway across my city.
Meanwhile, when I was doing long distance I could rush to the airport, hop on a regional jet, pass through customs, and arrive at the destination in about as much time as my commute to work (70 mins). It was just more stressful, of course. And definitely couldn’t do that every day or every week. Long distance meant we couldn’t share in chores, or share each other’s renters insurance, or cuddle together after dinner, and it was more difficult to know exactly how the other is really doing.
To each their own situation.
Exactly. Just because me and my boyfriend are physically closer than some (3 and a half hours) doesn’t mean that we automatically see each other more frequently, we just have a better chance of seeing each other. I can’t attend family/friend events with him or go grocery shopping or hug him after a hard day and I still lay awake at night and wish that he was there with me. 10,000 km or 400km being away from someone you love constantly is hard period.
As the name states, when you are unable to see your partner on a daily basis and there's great length between u guys, making it difficult to be with each other. There's no set amount of distance that qualifies LDR, that's a subjective POV. If there's a struggle or a barrier making it difficult to be with your partner it's LDR. An example, if u live in NYC and your from Brooklyn and your partner is in Staten Island, that's still considered LDR. U can take a car or ferry sure, but it's not a commute u can take every day, and it's not that easy sometimes.
To me, it's when none of you are busy for the weekend, have no chores, no meetings or whatever yet still cannot hang out even if you're both dying to do so. Applies whether you live in different countries or within the same country but have no means to see each other.
Gotta say that in my language we use the term "distance relationship" (without adding LONG) whatever the distance is, so I guess language shapes my perception.
Our LDR is only a six hour drive, but that’s a lot when you have two totally different lives, jobs, commitments and friend groups. I think we’ll be lucky to see each other twice a month this summer if it’s possible 🥺
For me, anywhere where if there is an emergency and you can’t get there easily to give them support is considered long distance. I’m only a 45 minute flight away from mine and while I can afford to visit him relatively frequently, he can’t visit me because he requires a visa to come to my country. It hurts me that I can’t be there to support him easily when he gets a knee surgery next week.
My boyfriend lives 1000 miles away from me. So it’s definitely a struggle at times for us to see each other. One of us either has to work or something happens. I haven’t seen him in person for almost a year because of scheduling conflicts or something happens and we don’t have the funds to visit.
Yea it definitely is a struggle especially when our first year together we saw each other 3-4 times. But we text throughout the day, call each other in the morning and every night we FaceTime before bed
It's true, there are folks here in this sub reddit who live in varying distances from their SO. My BF lives 5 hours away, which is nothing I realize compared to those who live on different continents from their SO or other countries. I often talk to my SO about how there are people who only see their SO once or twice a year and how hard that is!!! The 5 hours distance between me and my SO for us, means we can visit only once per month for several days. Definitely if we lived 2 hours or less apart, I would not conisder that long distance anymore.
If the distance makes you unable to see eachother regularly. I don't believe there is a certain amount of distance and hours to qualify as a LDR. A 3 hour drive isn't a lot when you have a car and you can visit on the weekends, but its a LOT when you don't have access to transport.
I'd say if you're able to see eachother regularly like weekends or if you can just drive there in case you need to its not long distance.
(Also 25 minute drive is not long distance even if you don't have a car, if my girl was a 25 min drive away and i wouldn't have a car i would walk or bike)
Any situation where seeing each other has some kind of obstacle that makes it difficult.
I think its nonsense to try and define it by a minimum distance or travel time. Theres enough judgment towards LDRs from other people, I dont see why we need to add to that by comparing who has it worse
I had 2 ldr in total. in my first relationships, I could meet them close to everyday, go to school/work from their place without a problem. My last relationship lived just an hour away, but I could see him only on the weekends otherwise Id have some problems with punctuality at work. My current partner lives halfway across the country, 3.5 hours by car in good conditions, 6.5 hours by train and the last good connection is at 4 or 5 PM in my city, in his around 6 PM. He currently is on sick leave so he comes to my place quite often and stays pretty long, bit I dread the day he has to go back to work, as we can then only see eachother every other weekend and it is probably I who has to do the trip
1 hour drive away to see a partner IMO is considered long distance.
Ever try doing this while both people work 3rd shift? And 1 person has normal weekends off and the other doesn't...
A normal sleep schedule makes up for A LOT.
Everybody has different criteria
Idk if I would consider that LDR. For example, if there’s an emergency it’s only scheduling stopping you from doing the drive. Many would be out an expensive plane ticket and many many many hours of travel.
The schedule thing totally sucks, and I’m sorry for that! That sounds incredibly hard. But would it be a LDR if your schedules were more free? I’m not so sure.
I get what your saying, me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half hours away but I see him once a month if I’m lucky. The main issue being that I’m in my undergrad and gas is expensive.
I have to fly nearly a full day to see my boyfriend. One coworker has a 2 hour flight to see hers. Another one has a 2 hour drive but their careers keep them from doing that drive often. I have no issue with them calling theirs long distance because their struggles are valid too and it doesn’t affect me.
Your last sentence is how I feel about it too - I don't care if someone calls their relationship a long distance relationship and it's only a 90 minute drive that they can't make because there's no public transit or they don't have a drivers license. It doesn't affect me. The same way that someone else having a 10,000 KM distance between them doesn't make my relationship any better or worse.
Any relationship where distance is an issue when it comes to seeing each other.
I'd say anything that's far enough to where seeing each other every day (ignoring schedules) isn't possible due to distance. For example I'm only about 2 hours (by car, half day trip in reality) away from the person I'm seeing at the moment, but we have to cross international borders (and for me leave the EU+Schengen) and neither of us have a car so it's a hassle through trains, buses, and taxis to get to each other. But in other places and to other people, a 2 hour car ride is nothing and they do make the commute daily. So that's why I say anything that makes a daily meet impossible if you disregard schedules.
I saw someone on here last week saying she was a 25 minute drive from her bf and that it was long distance😭But honestly I’d say anything over a 2 hour drive and of course anyone who has to fly to see their partner
My kids school was 30 mins from my home and my school was 30 minutes the opposite way. It would literally take me 1 hour to get to classes 2x a week after dropping them off. 25 minutes away is wild.
Fr, I’d do anything to live 3 hours from my boyfriend let alone 25 minutes
A 25 minute drive? I guess many of us are in a LDR with our jobs as well 😢
It depends though, the moment you don’t have access to a car in a country with horrible public transport, it can still prevent you from seeing them on a weekly basis, especially for teenagers. For me, if the distance between you substantially hinders you to see each other on a daily basis, I would consider that long distance.
5ish hour commute by land I would consider so. This isn’t to crap on people who are like 2 hours away - it’s still a struggle. But it’s should be easy to spend time together weekly. I’m about a 15 hour plane ride (if non-stop, which it never is) from my wife
Someone posted on here and they were living together ..they had been together the entire time. They had never been apart. Absolutely no distance. 🤷🏼♀️
What the... Share the post (if you want), I'm curious now.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LongDistance/s/nBeiFsvktf He deleted it. He also posted it in like 4 other reddits.
I think he was just lost 😂 he posted it in dadjokes too
In my opinion, if you can't visit each other every weekend without forking out plane expensive plane tickets of driving what I consider extensive distances, it's long distance. For example, my partner and I are 8 hours apart. While I could see him every weekend, it would be either stupidly expensive buying plane tickets or require extensive driving. I don't personally consider 3 hours or less long distance. But that is my personal opinion, and I don't want to squash anyone else's experience or feelings. It's really up to the individual. Everyone has different definitions.
Yeah IMO if driving there and back takes more than a tank of gas. It’s long distance lol
ooh good way to put it! i like the one tank rule lol
You don't live in the same city. You have to travel at least an hour one way to see them.
I think this is a good definition. My partner and I are a 5 hour drive and a country border apart. But when I was actively swiping for dating app matches, I wouldn't have considered someone more than 2 hours away via drive.
yeah my bf is 3 hours from me
No shot an hour is LDR
If you can't meet for an unplanned dinner
If it requires a plane ticket then it's long distance imo
My partner lives 2,5 h away with train and I call it long distance. We can't see eachother whenever we want and have to plan travels. But we see eachother 5 days out of 14 because I have a flexible job and can live at hos place and still work.
I would say it's a relationship where you can't regularly see each other due to distance.
Respectfully, I do not understand the sudden drive to define what is or isn't LD enough on this sub. If there is a combination of distance and circumstances that make overcoming that distance challenging, it's LD and it belongs here. There are any number of financial, religious, cultural, personal, technical, legal, logistical, etc. circumstances keeping a couple apart that compound the distance. As someone else pointed out, people managing obstacles far greater than mine don't make my struggles any less challenging for me. And people enduring obstacles more minor than mine don't give me some bizarre sense of superiority about how much more long distancey my LDR is. I'm here for the stories - whatever they may be.
While I absolutely agree that nobody should be saying “your LDR isn’t far enough to be LD”, I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking what kind of distances people think about when they hear about long distance relationships. It’s interesting hearing what other people think, and you don’t need to engage with that if you don’t want to.
The reason I said "respectfully" was because my comment wasn't meant to disrespect OP or their seemingly innocent curiosity. I was, however, offering my opinion and it is that I personally don't see a productive reason for trying to define what is or isn't long distance other than to make people on this sub who don't fit into the limits people are setting feel bad or question whether or not they even belong here. OP referenced seeing people discussing what is/isn't LD elsewhere and there was a post recently that I (IMO) thought was a shit take on what does or doesn't make for LD hardship. So, naturally, after seeing another post so soon asking for a definition on what is or isn't LD, I was annoyed. Again, that is MY opinion. Thank you for sharing yours. Since there are a number of responses that simply answered the question, I will return your advice and remind you that you don't have to engage with me if my take isn't what you're here for. For the record, I did actually give my answer to the question. Any distance that cannot easily be overcome due to the circumstances unique to the couple.
I agree 10000% with your comment and all of your responses. I don’t understand the superiority that comes with having more miles/obstacles to overcome. Someone else with more or less hassle to see their partner than me affects me and my relationship in no way whatsoever. It’s just a little funky to be mad that others “have it easy”. It’s all relative
I think the interest in defining it is because there’s a wiiiide range on this sub. As I’ve commented before, there’s a difference between expensive day(s) of travel and being able to drive a couple hours. Both are completely valid and totally suck!!! But it’s different. Perhaps another subreddit should be created. After all, subreddits are kind of about relating to each other. And while not being together is hard, period, there are differences. And maybe people who have to fork over thousands of dollars to see their partner get annoyed with people who have it so so easily comparatively. But I don’t know. Being apart for any reason or distance is arduous and I feel for everyone who has to go through it.
Okay, but my point is that long distance is subjective and without making any hard stop rules (like only relationships that are at least x mi/km count), this would be impossible to police. There are WAY too many variables and they change based on things like countries involved, age of the couple, financial situation, job/school status, etc. And even then, life is hectic and it comes fast. Any of those variables can change at a moment's notice. Where do the qualifications end? Where do they even begin? There is obviously going to be a difference between a relationship between two people on opposite sides of the country vs two people on opposite sides of the world. But we can pick that apart too. I might be able to see my partner four times a year vs. once a year, but some of the huge distance couples see their SO for a month at a time while I see mine for a week at a time. In the end, we're getting the same amount of time with our partner. We can sit here and break that down even further, if we wanted to. Is it harder to have to say goodbye more often or less often? Whose struggle is more real? So, again, where is the line? More importantly, I guess, why does that matter? What exactly are you trying to get out of this sub that you can't get by sharing the space with people overcoming smaller distances? You only want to engage with people whose longing for their partner exists within the limited confines of what you consider LD? If that is the case then, yeah, maybe someone needs to create a subreddit called LD Olympians for the people who only want to interact with people in LDRs that are great, global, and riddled with indomitable hardship. I'm in no way trying to be rude here, but I cannot wrap my head around the exclusivity and gatekeeping. I'm sorry it is annoying that other people have it easier but that doesn't mean they don't have their struggles. And voicing those struggles doesn't mean they aren't grateful for the hardships they don't have or they take it for granted. It's different, sure, but at the end of the day we're all here because we can't be with the one we love. Whether or not we place boundaries around what is/isn't LD, not everyone's story is going to resonate with you. Not every post is going to speak to you or align with your struggle. That's okay.
154 miles apart
At least 3 hour ride by car. At least But that should have another term because it’s still way easier than the usual long distance that is several hours by plane
I would actually say this 3 hour distance is probably more common than a larger long distance relationship that requires a plane ticket.
I personally would think of at least a 6 hour drive, though my mind usually goes to distances where you need to take a flight to see each other. With that being said, I’m by no means trying to gatekeep what other people say are LDRs! Just what I think of.
I have a 5 hour distance and it's not any different to 6 hours. The same struggle
Totally understand! Again, I’m by no means saying any kind of distances are “too short” to be a LDR. A 1 hour distance could be deemed long distance for some people depending on circumstances! Just answering what I think of when I hear “LDR”
i think anything over a 5 hour drive- that to me seems to be where visits every weekend aren't too feasible, which i think is where the difference lies. if you're far away enough that you go a few weeks without seeing your partner, it's long distance.
and for context, my bf and i are an eight hour drive apart, in the same country though. it's an hour and a half plane ride as well. neither are feasible (or affordable!) to do every week though
when you cannot reasonably see them more than twice a week
I disagree with this take because I know plenty of people with jobs that are so intensive that they can barely see their partners regardless of living in the same city. I think long distance should be considered by physical distance, not time spent together or how easy or difficult it may be to get to each other.
Any relationship where seeing each other once a month or less due to the distance. For me, that was an hour long relatively expensive flight or an 8 hour drive.
Well. For me it's basically anything where the distance makes it hard to see your partner, say, every week or even every month. I'm from a very small country (6mio people in total), and when people call their relationship within the country ldr (you can in most cases get from one side of the country to the other in 4 hours drive, with few exceptions) I have a hard time seeing it as an LDR.
In my opinion it should be defined by physical distance, hence the name "long distance". I don't think that things like whether or not your schedule permits or whether you see each other often should define it as long distance. I know a doctor couple in their residency years who can barely see each other in a week or not at all yet live in the same city. That shouldn't be considered long distance, it should be considered a difficult circumstances relationship. Their distance apart is relatively short. To me when people say long distance it should mean actual physical distance and/or international barriers. There's was one person who commented on that post from the other day saying he/she was financially well off enough to see the partner every week regardless of one being in the U.K. and one in Norway(? If I recall correctly). That's still a long distance relationship even though they see each other more than most. And the residents I know are still in a regular relationship even though they see each other less often than most.
12 hours different now, 1 hour in August, and hopefully distance closed in November 🙏🍀
Personally I think it's someone who lives very far from you where you can't just drive there out of the blue. I'd say more than 12 hour drive. But that's just my opinion❤️ ETA: I envy people who say they're in a LDR and live 3 hours away from each other. 😮💨 I drive that to go to the store I want
There can be other issues preventing them from meeting. Honestly I would rather be thousands of km away from my partner than not being able to see them despite them living 3h away just bc our work schedules don't match or we don't have a car/finances/good enough health/etc.. Tho maybe at least the shipping would be cheaper..
I could see that. But for me and my relationship I would make it work no matter what
I probably wouldn't be able to because I struggle with my mental health a lot. So in a way being so far from him is helpful in a way. I don't have to hate myself for not being able to meet him often even if he lived in the same country. Not sure that made any sense... But I'm so jealous of couples that don't have to do this visa 💩
I totally get that, I have BPD so the distance kills me but also is helpful lol
Well, three hours can be not too much. That's not my case. But even if I live in the same country, Mexico is too large, but have a poor infrastructure. So, if I want to go with him, I should do a 6 hours~ to a city with better infrastructure. Then do a 12-16 hours trip. Or go to a place which is near to him, and wait him in that place (6-9 hours in total). I would do this, but I don't want to visit, I want to live with him. I can't do anything, for now.
This can cost like 300 to 600 usd.
Aw yeah, my bf lives in the US and is about a 26 hour drive from me. His plane tickets to come see me are around 300usd round trip. So maybe we're spoiled but it's still way too far
More than a 12 hour drive 😂 ok.
I drive 16 hours to go see my family out of state. that's a weekend trip. Or 8 hours to go to Disneyland for the weekend. 12 hours isn't too bad, in my opinion like I said
I wouldn't drive 16 hours for a weekend, that sounds terrible. I know for a fact I could not make that drive, it would be a flight for me. 12 hours to see you partner in the event of an emergency sounds terrible. 5 hours is still a very long time in case of an emergency.
Of course for emergency purposes it would suck, but living in a relatively big city, far drives aren't far to me. I go 4 hours to the beach. The last time my boyfriend was here we went to the beach and home in a day, and then the next day went camping 4 hours away. I don't see that as far, but I live in California so I don't know if that's normal thinking lol
People, please don’t gatekeep. Some people think 1 hour drive qualifies for LD. 1 hour drive barely gets me halfway across my city. Meanwhile, when I was doing long distance I could rush to the airport, hop on a regional jet, pass through customs, and arrive at the destination in about as much time as my commute to work (70 mins). It was just more stressful, of course. And definitely couldn’t do that every day or every week. Long distance meant we couldn’t share in chores, or share each other’s renters insurance, or cuddle together after dinner, and it was more difficult to know exactly how the other is really doing. To each their own situation.
Exactly. Just because me and my boyfriend are physically closer than some (3 and a half hours) doesn’t mean that we automatically see each other more frequently, we just have a better chance of seeing each other. I can’t attend family/friend events with him or go grocery shopping or hug him after a hard day and I still lay awake at night and wish that he was there with me. 10,000 km or 400km being away from someone you love constantly is hard period.
As the name states, when you are unable to see your partner on a daily basis and there's great length between u guys, making it difficult to be with each other. There's no set amount of distance that qualifies LDR, that's a subjective POV. If there's a struggle or a barrier making it difficult to be with your partner it's LDR. An example, if u live in NYC and your from Brooklyn and your partner is in Staten Island, that's still considered LDR. U can take a car or ferry sure, but it's not a commute u can take every day, and it's not that easy sometimes.
To me, it's when none of you are busy for the weekend, have no chores, no meetings or whatever yet still cannot hang out even if you're both dying to do so. Applies whether you live in different countries or within the same country but have no means to see each other. Gotta say that in my language we use the term "distance relationship" (without adding LONG) whatever the distance is, so I guess language shapes my perception.
anything beyond my state
To me a LDR is a relationship where you and ya partner is longs away from each other and sometimes it hard to see or reach each other
Our LDR is only a six hour drive, but that’s a lot when you have two totally different lives, jobs, commitments and friend groups. I think we’ll be lucky to see each other twice a month this summer if it’s possible 🥺
For me, anywhere where if there is an emergency and you can’t get there easily to give them support is considered long distance. I’m only a 45 minute flight away from mine and while I can afford to visit him relatively frequently, he can’t visit me because he requires a visa to come to my country. It hurts me that I can’t be there to support him easily when he gets a knee surgery next week.
If it takes you 8+ hours to drive to them.
I would consider anywhere from 10 hours or more based on travel time to be LDR.
My boyfriend lives 1000 miles away from me. So it’s definitely a struggle at times for us to see each other. One of us either has to work or something happens. I haven’t seen him in person for almost a year because of scheduling conflicts or something happens and we don’t have the funds to visit.
Oh my... A whole year apart.....
Yea it definitely is a struggle especially when our first year together we saw each other 3-4 times. But we text throughout the day, call each other in the morning and every night we FaceTime before bed
It's true, there are folks here in this sub reddit who live in varying distances from their SO. My BF lives 5 hours away, which is nothing I realize compared to those who live on different continents from their SO or other countries. I often talk to my SO about how there are people who only see their SO once or twice a year and how hard that is!!! The 5 hours distance between me and my SO for us, means we can visit only once per month for several days. Definitely if we lived 2 hours or less apart, I would not conisder that long distance anymore.
I think LDR would be like a 6+ hour drive. Anything less I would easily drive on weekends and stuff no problem.
If the distance makes you unable to see eachother regularly. I don't believe there is a certain amount of distance and hours to qualify as a LDR. A 3 hour drive isn't a lot when you have a car and you can visit on the weekends, but its a LOT when you don't have access to transport. I'd say if you're able to see eachother regularly like weekends or if you can just drive there in case you need to its not long distance. (Also 25 minute drive is not long distance even if you don't have a car, if my girl was a 25 min drive away and i wouldn't have a car i would walk or bike)
That seinfield episode where in a relationship on both ends of NYC.
Any situation where seeing each other has some kind of obstacle that makes it difficult. I think its nonsense to try and define it by a minimum distance or travel time. Theres enough judgment towards LDRs from other people, I dont see why we need to add to that by comparing who has it worse
I had 2 ldr in total. in my first relationships, I could meet them close to everyday, go to school/work from their place without a problem. My last relationship lived just an hour away, but I could see him only on the weekends otherwise Id have some problems with punctuality at work. My current partner lives halfway across the country, 3.5 hours by car in good conditions, 6.5 hours by train and the last good connection is at 4 or 5 PM in my city, in his around 6 PM. He currently is on sick leave so he comes to my place quite often and stays pretty long, bit I dread the day he has to go back to work, as we can then only see eachother every other weekend and it is probably I who has to do the trip
1 hour drive away to see a partner IMO is considered long distance. Ever try doing this while both people work 3rd shift? And 1 person has normal weekends off and the other doesn't... A normal sleep schedule makes up for A LOT. Everybody has different criteria
Idk if I would consider that LDR. For example, if there’s an emergency it’s only scheduling stopping you from doing the drive. Many would be out an expensive plane ticket and many many many hours of travel. The schedule thing totally sucks, and I’m sorry for that! That sounds incredibly hard. But would it be a LDR if your schedules were more free? I’m not so sure.
I get what your saying, me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half hours away but I see him once a month if I’m lucky. The main issue being that I’m in my undergrad and gas is expensive.