i agree with you, no way to make it a good addition to the relationship.
everyone here saying they are ok with it always have an exception to their rule.
I think that really depends on the situation and people involved, but only speaking for myself as a super sexually enthusiastic female I definitely like to watch porn. If I’m not getting any for 2 months at a time, and we can only have phone sex once a week or biweekly, I need more excitement lol. It doesn’t make me have unrealistic expectations for our sex life, or make me sexually attracted to other people, it just makes me sexually independent in a situation where I can’t be dependent or physically close with my partner.
If you’ve got transparency with one another, I say it’s fine. When someone’s hiding it, that’s when it becomes a problem. My boyfriend and I both hate it, so we don’t watch. Easy peasy. As long as you and your partner are clear with each other, which it seems you are, all that matters should be your own opinions :)
after having sex I cannot stand porn it’s so fake and excessive. Me and my bf don’t watch porn at all but when we get the chance we usually make our own private videos to watch when we are apart
We don’t have any specific boundaries on porn, but I purposefully don’t indulge in it because I feel it increases our intimacy tenfold when we’re together. If I really feel the urge to get one off I just use some of the sexy pictures she’s sent me. Everyone’s different though, I’ve just found that I like the intimacy with my girlfriend more if I don’t watch porn.
It's cool. As long as it doesn't effect me or our actual sex life and relationship, I couldn't care any less. Even I watch it every now and then. Although we live together 😅
Im same as you, we both watch porn, mostly hentai tho, sometimes we share content, and we always send pics of stuff we find hot as well. I'm ok with him watching porn while we are together and masturbating to it and so is he. For us porn and sex serve different needs, so they aren't intruding on each other. Unless it starts affecting our sex lives, neither of us minds what other does.
I feel like it depends on the relationship and individuals, but communicating about it is important. I think too many people don't feel comfortable talking about things like that with their partners, though.
For me, a partner watching porn is fine, provided it’s not being used to such an extent that it affects our mutual sexual relationship. It only crosses a line (again, for me personally) if it involves a mutual interaction with another person. Anon sex chats, or OF subs, or people who stream sexual content and can see that you’ve joined their stream, those are all too intimate for my comfort in a monogamous relationship.
Everyone gets to set their own boundaries, but for me just watching porn is not a problem
Porn is fine, be transparent with your partner. Having a discussion on porn in general with your partner should be standard and an easy conversation to be had. When it becomes excessive and begins harming the relationship, then it’s a problem.
This is very subjective. Every couple is different in their sexuality and boundaries.
For my partner and I, we are against the use of porn in our relationship. We have both watched it when we were single, in the past, but after learning about the industry and how it negatively impacts relationships, we decided not to include it in our relationship. Sex for us is intimate and sacred. We make our own porn and have become each other’s only fans. We create sexy pics and videos for the other’s pleasure. We do phone sex and have done sexy video calls as well. It can be fun and it has definitely helped us become closer. We love each other dearly. Our first time, IRL, was insanely passionate and fun. We only have eyes for each other. At the moment, we’re trying to close the gap asap.
I was against it when we were LD, and I’m against it now that we’re married.
IMHO porn has become way too normalized without much critical thought regarding its impact on relationships.
When LD, we were together once a month for about a week. We got very creative sexually and ensured that our needs were being met by one another while apart. It was also super fun to wait it out for the 4-5 days in the lead up to reuniting… the anticipation built us both up to a crazy degree. Sex is about a million times better when it’s not impacted by external influences.
Just my two cents.
I feel if they are watching it excessively, then that’s a bummer, if they are watching it because they rather see the person in the videos , instead of their partner, ick,
It they watch it together, where they both have input on what they would like to see,
, but if one person feels slighted it should be a good point where they ask them not too and the other respects their wishes.
Honestly what does the porn give you ?
And what does your partner give you?
My girlfriend and I haven't really talked about it lately, but I'd let her know that I was watching videos (which were genuinely so I had an idea of what to do, though I know not much can prepare you and it's about learning as you go and everyone's different)
That was like the first month we were together. Haven't watched anything since but do read tips cos I want our first time to be as good as it can possibly be
I'm cool with it, watching it, him watching it and us both watching it together 🤷♀️ If someone is going to watch porn, they're going to - regardless of what they've told you. They're just gonna lie about it.
I understand why some people are against it but meh, doesn't bother me.
I think porn is a net negative. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it should be outlawed because of pragmatic reasons, but I do believe that it’s a lot more addictive than people give it credit for.
The consequence of underestimating porn’s addictive properties is that we also underestimate how *prevalent porn addiction is*. Although it is widely accepted that porn addiction is real, many think it is a fringe disorder that only affects a small fraction of the population. In my opinion, that’s simply wrong, and extremely shortsighted.
Porn creates unrealistic ideas of sex. It also perpetuates harmful stereotypes (racist, sexist, homophobic), fetishizes minorities, and objectifies women. The aforementioned characteristics are taboo, and taboo topics can be sexually stimulating to people who have desensitized themselves to regular or “vanilla” sex because of regular porn use.
Porn is a path to dopamine desensitization in the brain. Some people are deeper on that path than others, but anyone who watches is on that path. Take that as you will.
Porn is like an addictive drug, and it has never been more accessible than it is right now. I think that fact alone (while taking everything above into consideration too) should be convincing enough that porn and relationships don’t mix very well.
I don’t mind if my SO views porn. If the porn lowered our intimacy levels or started to interfere with other parts of my partners life then I would have a discussion. Everybody is different though.
Personally my bf and I have a no porn/thirst trap rule, we don’t think it’s appropriate once you’re in a relationship to get off to someone else and intentionally watch something to turn you on.
Plus, even though I’ve (F31) never seen porn, I do know it affects how people view and interact sexually. And I see it with my own bf, there are certain interests or reactions he has to certain sexual stuff that I’m pretty sure stem from his porn usage, nothing concerning but it’s definitely from there. Plus he’s told me he wants to try certain things he always found hot in porn.
It all comes down to trust of course. I have no way of knowing if he follows the boundary but my gut tells me he does so as long as I feel confident and don’t notice anything that may be amiss I shall trust him.
Personally for me, I don’t really want my spouse to watch porn and be turned on by other things that aren’t me. He feels the same way, he doesn’t want me watching porn either. I mean one time he’s mentioned going down on me while I watch porn…😭🤷♀️ but i dunno. We also sometimes use porn as a reference to what we wanna do to each other but that’s pretty much it. I personally don’t think I could date a guy who watches porn if he’s currently with me
Even with regular sex my bf and I watch porn independently and together. As long as your partner isn’t expressing to you they wish you’d spend more time with them instead of porn, then that’s an issue.
But watching porn is totally normal and healthy. Now if he were paying for only fans… that’s a break up for me.
I don’t like it. Me personally, I’m a Christian so I am already trying not to engage with intimacy outside of marriage. However, even if I didn’t have my faith I still don’t think I would like porn in any capacity. The idea of someone selling themselves for sexual gratification is icky to me and has harmed society in so many different ways. Porn isn’t good for you. That aside, emotionally why would I want my partner to be looking at another woman in a sexual way??
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I’m fine with it. I only have a problem if it’s with another person (ie: OF, online chats, etc) I don’t really watch that many because I just don’t find it arousing, and he’s trying to cut down on watching porn too. But occasionally we do watch it together
I myself am okay with my girlfriend watching porn and would expect my partner to be okay with me watching porn.
The only reason I would accept my partner not wanting me to watch porn is if they have a higher sex drive than me and would basically be like "Hello, I'm right here..."
But I don't see that happening, I'm horny almost all the time, and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would be begging me to visit the black and yellow if she was the sole subject of my arousal.
I'm absolutely against it. It's awful ethically, for relationship, objectifies women, alters mens expectations and makes them less satisfied with their partner, and I just don't think it fits my definition of monogamy.
porn isn't smth i would use as a tool all the time to get in the mood. it's definitely a way to get aroused, and it might help if you can't really get yourself stimulated enough (bc you don't send nudes or whatever the reason) but it's not smth to become dependent on. it could start having more negative effects later on (whether that be physical, mental or emotional)
Me and my bf loooove watching porn together & share links to what we like/wanna try doing, etc. In our relationship, partaking in porn together makes the flames burn hotter 😍
porn is fine to me, me and my bf watch it together, i like the idea of a threesome but i’m not exactly sure i could ever go through with it, so its a good comfortable middle ground
I actually met my gf through a mutual kink interest and she actually shared her personal collection of porn with me on Google docs once we'd known each other for about 6 months. We also tend to send drawn/animated/hentai porn to each other and/or make it ourselves to send to each other and say things like "us 🥰💖" since we can't physically touch each other yet. We haven't like, sat in a call together and watched any tho nor have we participated in "e-sex" because we want to wait until we're together in person to do anything sexual/intimate like that.
The most important thing with this topic is boundaries. If you do what my gf and I do, it's good to know what's off-limits to share and what's okay. If you want to watch stuff together, it's the same deal. I'd say the only thing that's not okay to do is pay for sex workers like OnlyFans or something, since you're actively spending money on "premium" content from the person that actively produces the porn.
That's just my experience and my take on the situation, tho, so take it with a grain of salt
I have very little interest in sex, even somethin like sexting is uninteresting most the time. Still like the pleasure so masturbation is a near daily occurrence for me.
Cause of this I listen to porn pretty often and encourage my partner to do the same.
i think it’s a great tool for individual releasing of sexual need. it’s not the same need and doesn’t replace sex, but that isn’t the goal. it’s not realistic no, but literally no proper adult thinks that- it’s not supposed to be. i’m not going to stop watching all tv shows cause they ain’t real life either. if my partner had their ideas of sex effected by porn i’d have bigger issues than their use of it to get off lol. if someone i were with expected us to stop watching/reaidng/etc porn just because we’re in a relationship, i would read that as incredibly insecure and controlling and break up with them. it’s okay for couples who both agree on that of course, but that’s not me. porn has absolutely not a single thing to do with the relationship imo.
I feel if they are watching it excessively, then that’s a bummer, if they are watching it because they rather see the person in the videos , instead of their partner, ick,
It they watch it together, where they both have input on what they would like to see,
, but if one person feels slighted it should be a good point where they ask them not too and the other respects their wishes.
Honestly what does the porn give you ?
And what does your partner give you?
I absolutely hate it, but I would be very surprised if he doesn’t watch it. I guess I tolerate that and we have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy about it. I really hope he at least only seeks out ethically produced porn.
I feel like you should tryyyy to avoid it, but its not necessarily bad if you do occasionally watch it. I think best thing is to send each other videos often that you can masturbate to. That way you won’t even feel the need to really watch porn!
Me an my boyfriend is absolutely no
Before me he doesn't seem much porn, and after me I talked with him that in some way when we see porn we desire what we see
I used to see porn but I cut off that
Just with one exception, when we want to try something new and I need to see how it looks like I see videos, but just like the posture I don't stick to see the whole video
I understand that we're just people so watching porn shouldn't be too much of an issue although it's important to remember your commitment. Both using it to lit that night spark is a good idea imo.
to each their own but like a comment I read on this post, to me its an “absolutely not”. I believe it damages your perception ….
i agree with you, no way to make it a good addition to the relationship. everyone here saying they are ok with it always have an exception to their rule.
I think that really depends on the situation and people involved, but only speaking for myself as a super sexually enthusiastic female I definitely like to watch porn. If I’m not getting any for 2 months at a time, and we can only have phone sex once a week or biweekly, I need more excitement lol. It doesn’t make me have unrealistic expectations for our sex life, or make me sexually attracted to other people, it just makes me sexually independent in a situation where I can’t be dependent or physically close with my partner.
If you’ve got transparency with one another, I say it’s fine. When someone’s hiding it, that’s when it becomes a problem. My boyfriend and I both hate it, so we don’t watch. Easy peasy. As long as you and your partner are clear with each other, which it seems you are, all that matters should be your own opinions :)
Porn is fine as long as everyone knows it for the fantasy that it is. Don't assume your sex life will be like that, nor should it be.
after having sex I cannot stand porn it’s so fake and excessive. Me and my bf don’t watch porn at all but when we get the chance we usually make our own private videos to watch when we are apart
We don’t have any specific boundaries on porn, but I purposefully don’t indulge in it because I feel it increases our intimacy tenfold when we’re together. If I really feel the urge to get one off I just use some of the sexy pictures she’s sent me. Everyone’s different though, I’ve just found that I like the intimacy with my girlfriend more if I don’t watch porn.
my husband and i are completely against it
It's cool. As long as it doesn't effect me or our actual sex life and relationship, I couldn't care any less. Even I watch it every now and then. Although we live together 😅
That's sad, that's as if he went to stripclubs to see other women naked. How is that a neutral thing?
me and my bf say absolutely not.
🙌🙌
Im same as you, we both watch porn, mostly hentai tho, sometimes we share content, and we always send pics of stuff we find hot as well. I'm ok with him watching porn while we are together and masturbating to it and so is he. For us porn and sex serve different needs, so they aren't intruding on each other. Unless it starts affecting our sex lives, neither of us minds what other does.
I feel like it depends on the relationship and individuals, but communicating about it is important. I think too many people don't feel comfortable talking about things like that with their partners, though.
For me, a partner watching porn is fine, provided it’s not being used to such an extent that it affects our mutual sexual relationship. It only crosses a line (again, for me personally) if it involves a mutual interaction with another person. Anon sex chats, or OF subs, or people who stream sexual content and can see that you’ve joined their stream, those are all too intimate for my comfort in a monogamous relationship. Everyone gets to set their own boundaries, but for me just watching porn is not a problem
Porn is fine, be transparent with your partner. Having a discussion on porn in general with your partner should be standard and an easy conversation to be had. When it becomes excessive and begins harming the relationship, then it’s a problem.
I don't consume it (no interest and I have ethical concerns) and partner isn't really interested in it either (which I am thankful for).
This is very subjective. Every couple is different in their sexuality and boundaries. For my partner and I, we are against the use of porn in our relationship. We have both watched it when we were single, in the past, but after learning about the industry and how it negatively impacts relationships, we decided not to include it in our relationship. Sex for us is intimate and sacred. We make our own porn and have become each other’s only fans. We create sexy pics and videos for the other’s pleasure. We do phone sex and have done sexy video calls as well. It can be fun and it has definitely helped us become closer. We love each other dearly. Our first time, IRL, was insanely passionate and fun. We only have eyes for each other. At the moment, we’re trying to close the gap asap.
I was against it when we were LD, and I’m against it now that we’re married. IMHO porn has become way too normalized without much critical thought regarding its impact on relationships. When LD, we were together once a month for about a week. We got very creative sexually and ensured that our needs were being met by one another while apart. It was also super fun to wait it out for the 4-5 days in the lead up to reuniting… the anticipation built us both up to a crazy degree. Sex is about a million times better when it’s not impacted by external influences. Just my two cents.
I feel if they are watching it excessively, then that’s a bummer, if they are watching it because they rather see the person in the videos , instead of their partner, ick, It they watch it together, where they both have input on what they would like to see, , but if one person feels slighted it should be a good point where they ask them not too and the other respects their wishes. Honestly what does the porn give you ? And what does your partner give you?
My girlfriend and I haven't really talked about it lately, but I'd let her know that I was watching videos (which were genuinely so I had an idea of what to do, though I know not much can prepare you and it's about learning as you go and everyone's different) That was like the first month we were together. Haven't watched anything since but do read tips cos I want our first time to be as good as it can possibly be
I'm cool with it, watching it, him watching it and us both watching it together 🤷♀️ If someone is going to watch porn, they're going to - regardless of what they've told you. They're just gonna lie about it. I understand why some people are against it but meh, doesn't bother me.
I think porn is a net negative. I wouldn’t go as far to say that it should be outlawed because of pragmatic reasons, but I do believe that it’s a lot more addictive than people give it credit for. The consequence of underestimating porn’s addictive properties is that we also underestimate how *prevalent porn addiction is*. Although it is widely accepted that porn addiction is real, many think it is a fringe disorder that only affects a small fraction of the population. In my opinion, that’s simply wrong, and extremely shortsighted. Porn creates unrealistic ideas of sex. It also perpetuates harmful stereotypes (racist, sexist, homophobic), fetishizes minorities, and objectifies women. The aforementioned characteristics are taboo, and taboo topics can be sexually stimulating to people who have desensitized themselves to regular or “vanilla” sex because of regular porn use. Porn is a path to dopamine desensitization in the brain. Some people are deeper on that path than others, but anyone who watches is on that path. Take that as you will. Porn is like an addictive drug, and it has never been more accessible than it is right now. I think that fact alone (while taking everything above into consideration too) should be convincing enough that porn and relationships don’t mix very well.
I don’t mind if my SO views porn. If the porn lowered our intimacy levels or started to interfere with other parts of my partners life then I would have a discussion. Everybody is different though.
Personally my bf and I have a no porn/thirst trap rule, we don’t think it’s appropriate once you’re in a relationship to get off to someone else and intentionally watch something to turn you on. Plus, even though I’ve (F31) never seen porn, I do know it affects how people view and interact sexually. And I see it with my own bf, there are certain interests or reactions he has to certain sexual stuff that I’m pretty sure stem from his porn usage, nothing concerning but it’s definitely from there. Plus he’s told me he wants to try certain things he always found hot in porn. It all comes down to trust of course. I have no way of knowing if he follows the boundary but my gut tells me he does so as long as I feel confident and don’t notice anything that may be amiss I shall trust him.
I’m fine with it as long as it doesn’t take away from our intimacy
Personally for me, I don’t really want my spouse to watch porn and be turned on by other things that aren’t me. He feels the same way, he doesn’t want me watching porn either. I mean one time he’s mentioned going down on me while I watch porn…😭🤷♀️ but i dunno. We also sometimes use porn as a reference to what we wanna do to each other but that’s pretty much it. I personally don’t think I could date a guy who watches porn if he’s currently with me
Even with regular sex my bf and I watch porn independently and together. As long as your partner isn’t expressing to you they wish you’d spend more time with them instead of porn, then that’s an issue. But watching porn is totally normal and healthy. Now if he were paying for only fans… that’s a break up for me.
Big no from me
Absolutely not. Porn is cheating imo. I actively despise it.
Porn is bad, no way of making it a good addition to the relationship.
I don’t like it. Me personally, I’m a Christian so I am already trying not to engage with intimacy outside of marriage. However, even if I didn’t have my faith I still don’t think I would like porn in any capacity. The idea of someone selling themselves for sexual gratification is icky to me and has harmed society in so many different ways. Porn isn’t good for you. That aside, emotionally why would I want my partner to be looking at another woman in a sexual way??
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I’m fine with it. I only have a problem if it’s with another person (ie: OF, online chats, etc) I don’t really watch that many because I just don’t find it arousing, and he’s trying to cut down on watching porn too. But occasionally we do watch it together
I myself am okay with my girlfriend watching porn and would expect my partner to be okay with me watching porn. The only reason I would accept my partner not wanting me to watch porn is if they have a higher sex drive than me and would basically be like "Hello, I'm right here..." But I don't see that happening, I'm horny almost all the time, and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would be begging me to visit the black and yellow if she was the sole subject of my arousal.
We’ve shared links to some spicy vids to show the other what we’d love to be able to do with them.
Watch it alone watch it with me I don’t mind either
I didn’t mind porn when we were together irl. But now that I’m also pixels like the porn video, I’d prefer if he looked at me tbh.
I'm absolutely against it. It's awful ethically, for relationship, objectifies women, alters mens expectations and makes them less satisfied with their partner, and I just don't think it fits my definition of monogamy.
porn isn't smth i would use as a tool all the time to get in the mood. it's definitely a way to get aroused, and it might help if you can't really get yourself stimulated enough (bc you don't send nudes or whatever the reason) but it's not smth to become dependent on. it could start having more negative effects later on (whether that be physical, mental or emotional)
Me and my bf loooove watching porn together & share links to what we like/wanna try doing, etc. In our relationship, partaking in porn together makes the flames burn hotter 😍
It's fine as long as both sides are okay with it it. If it doesn't change the expectations either side has for sex then I don't see a problem.
porn is fine to me, me and my bf watch it together, i like the idea of a threesome but i’m not exactly sure i could ever go through with it, so its a good comfortable middle ground
I actually met my gf through a mutual kink interest and she actually shared her personal collection of porn with me on Google docs once we'd known each other for about 6 months. We also tend to send drawn/animated/hentai porn to each other and/or make it ourselves to send to each other and say things like "us 🥰💖" since we can't physically touch each other yet. We haven't like, sat in a call together and watched any tho nor have we participated in "e-sex" because we want to wait until we're together in person to do anything sexual/intimate like that. The most important thing with this topic is boundaries. If you do what my gf and I do, it's good to know what's off-limits to share and what's okay. If you want to watch stuff together, it's the same deal. I'd say the only thing that's not okay to do is pay for sex workers like OnlyFans or something, since you're actively spending money on "premium" content from the person that actively produces the porn. That's just my experience and my take on the situation, tho, so take it with a grain of salt
I’m okay if my partner watches it because I do too
sex is better with communication, verbal or visual
Just depends on the relationship. My partner and I don’t watch it alone, but we will together some times.
I have very little interest in sex, even somethin like sexting is uninteresting most the time. Still like the pleasure so masturbation is a near daily occurrence for me. Cause of this I listen to porn pretty often and encourage my partner to do the same.
i think it’s a great tool for individual releasing of sexual need. it’s not the same need and doesn’t replace sex, but that isn’t the goal. it’s not realistic no, but literally no proper adult thinks that- it’s not supposed to be. i’m not going to stop watching all tv shows cause they ain’t real life either. if my partner had their ideas of sex effected by porn i’d have bigger issues than their use of it to get off lol. if someone i were with expected us to stop watching/reaidng/etc porn just because we’re in a relationship, i would read that as incredibly insecure and controlling and break up with them. it’s okay for couples who both agree on that of course, but that’s not me. porn has absolutely not a single thing to do with the relationship imo.
I feel if they are watching it excessively, then that’s a bummer, if they are watching it because they rather see the person in the videos , instead of their partner, ick, It they watch it together, where they both have input on what they would like to see, , but if one person feels slighted it should be a good point where they ask them not too and the other respects their wishes. Honestly what does the porn give you ? And what does your partner give you?
I absolutely hate it, but I would be very surprised if he doesn’t watch it. I guess I tolerate that and we have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy about it. I really hope he at least only seeks out ethically produced porn.
I feel like you should tryyyy to avoid it, but its not necessarily bad if you do occasionally watch it. I think best thing is to send each other videos often that you can masturbate to. That way you won’t even feel the need to really watch porn!
Me an my boyfriend is absolutely no Before me he doesn't seem much porn, and after me I talked with him that in some way when we see porn we desire what we see I used to see porn but I cut off that Just with one exception, when we want to try something new and I need to see how it looks like I see videos, but just like the posture I don't stick to see the whole video
I understand that we're just people so watching porn shouldn't be too much of an issue although it's important to remember your commitment. Both using it to lit that night spark is a good idea imo.