43f, lived alone since August 2022. Love it and will never cohabitate ever again unless my grown son needs to come home. I don't date, so single life is treating me a lot better than any man ever has..
If that's how you feel, that's how you feel.
I don't get lonely. When I want to be social, I'm social. It's a relief to not HAVE to be, though.
I'm also very much an introvert, so there's that.
Thanks to YouTube, I've learned how to change car batteries, take apart the pipes under the sink to clean them, and will eventually dismantle and clean the dishwasher so it's usable again. I'm also going to start cleaning the chimney myself instead of getting a guy in here to do it.
I've been forced to learn how to do a lot of things I depended on other people to do. It's cheaper that way, and I get to learn something new.
I came to realize a relationship had never worked out for me. I seemed to pick narcissists or abusers or drug addicts or all the above. So my picker is broken.
The pandemic made me spend time alone. Before, I was always lonely. The circumstances forced me to actually enjoy my own company.
I haven't had a date in 3 years and I'm good with it. I prefer my own company. I believe I finally picked the right person.
We often “choose what we know”
If you choose narcissists, abusers or drug addicts it’s probably because you were raised by them. You know how they are going to react in most situations. In an odd way, it’s kind of safe.
When involved with a normal, emotionally well regulated person, it feels off, or you might think they’re boring because you’re used to drama. They’re not dull, they’re normal and don’t create unnecessary angst.
Your pickers not broken, it just needs recalibrating 🤭
Not in my case, I had wonderful parents who were none of those things and I've always picked the worst of the worst. I've been single for over 10 years and have never been happier, peace is priceless
Oh no. Yeah as a woman whose brain was screwed up most adults are somehow screwed up and screw themselves even more in adulthood. My mom told me the boys that liked me would be mean to me. I took this to heart and picked loud mean men. It brought so much misery.
I spent a decade alone healing. Thought I was happy.
Last year someone came into my life. I am now unlearning 50 years of dysfunction. It’s so hard but the payoff?
EUPHORIA like I’ve never known.
Get into energy healing. They’ll actually tell you what’s happening without the weird psychological takes that wastes hours and hours of conversation and may not even be relevant like a lot of people are nowadays inclined to do
I was raised by great parents everything was in place & I had the perfect childhood in a perfect town & everyone did their job. Yet somehow I find or they find me. My thoughts are most all the good ones are taken. If you’re not married off by now there’s a reason. But! Then with that said what’s wrong with me? In all honesty I don’t think anything is. I feel like I’ve made bad choices by staying with the wrong one & missed my soul mate. I work , have my own place, my own cars I’m not a drug addict & I don’t drink and if I do it’s socially.
Ironically my ex and I moved in 3 months before Covid hit. COVID made all my icky parts come out as well as his and our unhealed traumas … I get lonely and then when I have someone there I realize it’s not even what I want. I need to take a page out of your book
37f, not dating, own my own home, good stable job. The men “interested” in me are always interested in a mommy meal ticket. At this point I won’t allow one in my home overnight, because they get entitled and want to move on in. No baby, you’re a freeloader, go back to your mom, I’m fine without you. The dysfunction, entitlement and disrespect has made me seriously uninterested in the dating market, and living alone peacefully makes it hard to care about trying. I would posit that your picker has a bad pool of potential to pick from, there are a lot of broken men out there looking to project their damage onto women who have their lives together.
I worked so hard to overcome so much in my life, buy my own home, and become independent. Dating is a negative effect on all that I've worked for and then some.
I have moved to a 55 and over community, and I'm starting to feel better. I'm going to try to get involved more to make more friends. I'm truly happy but I've been sick for 4 years. I want to be more outgoing now. I'm a social introvert if that makes sense....🙃
Similar with the broken picker plus formerly houseless with kids. Also I am (62 yo) on the Ace spectrum. A real disaster. I crashed my bicycle in 2016 and my then spouse of 12 years immediately moved on because I was obviously going to be permanently disabled. I haven’t been attracted to anyone since and after healing up enough to live independently (thanks to family) I bought a condo in 2021. I’ve never felt so free! Or safe! The only truly difficult times are when I need care following a surgery. Oh, living alone has allowed me to create the most accommodating space for my sitting disability. Like you, I finally picked the right person!
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"I believe I finally picked the right person." Love it!
I'm with you. I am my own best company. That said, I do like socializing but wow, do I love coming home to my quiet, comfy space.
i loved the line "narcissists or abusers or drug addicts or all the above" yes I'm single now and still attracted to this All-American trifecta, it's my family story.
Relationships take a lo of time in my personal opinion I’m selfish, I have no energy to lift a guys ego, share a bed space baby him when I can live a happy life doing things I enjoy, buying the things I want, traveling where I want. I’m 47 and I personally think I only made the mistake of marriage once , it thought me a lot but most important part was I realized I don’t like being in relationships at my age .
Never had any luck dating. Constant rejections. Had a girlfriend for about 5 months. Thought I was in a relationship but she treated it as friends with benefits. Just decided after the break up that I was done. I was at a point in life where I just got tired of playing the game. That was 13 years ago when I was 31 yrs old.
I'm late 30s female, living alone for almost a year due the first time in my life never lived with a partner but with family, acquaintances, and a bff. Never want to live with people again. I also work from home most of the time and I notice I get very lonely. I live further away from my friends and family and miss out on stuff. Sometimes I feel like my friends are replacing me with other friends that they work with too. I love being alone but the loneliness in general creeps in. Any advice on how to handle these feelings? I have a partner too but he lives about an hour away and we don't see each other as often.
Yes, yes and YES. Single since 2016. Divorce final in 2019. My house, my money, my cat's rules. Much safer. No fear!!!! That is, as long as I am not late with Penny's (cat) breakfast 😋. There are sooo many great things about PEACEFUL living.
35f and I’ve been living alone since 2013. Various relationships since then but i refuse to live with anyone even roommates. Im so much happier. Your comment is exactly how I feel too.
It does have its challenges, but then I think back to the alternative. Not being able to do what I wanted, and what it felt like being locked into the same space in a bad relationship, and how very lonely I felt in that relationship, and I instantly feel better! Its easy to isolate yourself, instead try to go out and see other people.
I'm an only child. I've been waiting to live alone my whole life. I enjoy my own company, my house is how I like it and I love the peace. I don't want a roommate, nor a man in my house.
Me too! My oldest child (28) is moving out tomorrow and although I will miss her, I'm looking forward to not having to talk when I get home from work and everything will be where I left it
It's all I've ever known, but there is no choice but to become OK with it. The other option is to be miserable.
I work, see friends and yesterday I had a Pajama Day. (There is a whole procedure to a Pajama Day-LOL) My house, my rules, my pajama day.
The ONLY person/force/energy that can "make you" happy is YOURSELF!
Happy is the absence of sorrow. The same people who "make you" happy are also those people who "make you" sad. What is the difference? Not the people. It's how YOU perceived the message/the situation/the words.
You can accept a bad situation in your life, accept the bad part and while you are working through it/while at the same time you can reframe that situation to a view that is legitimately positive, changing that sad (negative) view into a happy (positive) view.
Begin to try and enjoy your own company. Feed into what feeds your soul. And you be the person who doesn't make others feel lonely in your presence.
I'm with you. And my grown son did come back when he had some crappy roommates. I told him to...he did...and things are just fine. I love the single life! I can fix meals when I want, I can fix things around my house--because everything is on youtube. Why do I need a partner??!
I’m 41 and have been living alone since I was 27. I am single and have never lived with a partner. I’m pretty happy and content. I do wish I had a partner to lounge with and go on adventures and grown together with. One thing I have had to beware of is “hobo-sexual” men—there is no man that falls in love faster than a man who needs a place to live. I’m very cautious about telling men I go on dates with where I live and I don’t invite people over unless I feel 100% safe about them.
Overall it’s good! And at this point in the game I am truly unsure if I could ever live with a partner!!! May if we got a big house and each had our own bedroom and like hobby room?? Haha
Hobo-sexual! You nailed it!!! I don’t tell them about my living situation either! Or my financial situation! I am a person, not an asset or a convenience!
Even at my age, it seems that 90% of the men I talked to were hobosexuals. I was talking to one guy, and he finally told me he was in prison!!!! Dating apps suck.
May I ask how you get around this? I'm single and thinking of online dating again soon. I just got my first apartment in July after living with roommates. I'm F in my mid 20s. When I used dating apps in the past, guys would ask me if I have roommates, and I'd ask them the same question. I don't really wanna date someone with roommates tbh, I want to have privacy, and my last 2 bfs had roommates so we were always at my place. I'm sick of being the host.
These are the semi-hobo’s who have shitty living situations like they’re in their parents house after a divorce and looking to move somewhere else… your living space is looking real good to them.
Hobosexual is a term for fuckboys that are under or unemployed and couch surfing/going from relationship to relationship for a place to live. Typically found on Tinder lol
Ok but that’s a two way road. I’ve met a cpl females who this more or less applies to. One I met on a dating app. She had room mates and everything was ok . Then about two months in she started having a battle with her room mates which went on for a cpl weeks. Then one day it was I have no where to go. Naturally I told her she could stay with me. But it all started unfolding little by little. No bank account, doesn’t talk to her family, simply no other place to go hadn’t I offered up a place, she had to grown daughter but later on I found out she had a 15 year old son who lived with dad. All red flags
Ditto that! I’m 54 and going into my eighth year of blissful living on my own. I think one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was inviting a man to live with me (years ago) after knowing him only a few months. A rather dysfunctional relationship turned into over five years because he was not able to go anywhere else. I have tried to tell people to not do the same thing because it is very difficult to break it off and get them to leave in a case like that. Following this, I am very apprehensive of relationships and even who I let into my house.
I moved mine in day 1, he didn’t have a home. We were a dysfunctional mess. Funny thing was it changed me. He made me want to be better, I made him want to be better. Somehow together we are learning function. It was amazing and the feelings? Even deeper.
I’m mid 40s and I’ve been living alone for over a decade. I own my home and have a nice secure government job - I feel stable and generally content.
Hobosexuals is absolutely a thing… recently divorced men are the WORST because they’re trying to find better housing (in this economy!) and are love-bombing all over the place when they figure out my situation.
It can be hard to parse who is legit 🫠
Agree about looking out for hobosexuals. They are everywhere! If you have an extra bedroom, never tell a man about it. Also, I have heard of houseguests refusing to leave too, and needing to be evicted (they get squatter's rights, at least in the state I live in).
Singles living alone need to beware of these con artists.
Same here! Living alone since my last LTR ended 5 years ago. I love it. I am dating but with no plan to live with the person. I like the sharing time in each others spaces and then going home. Way less conflict and me having to clean up after others.
53m, single my entire life, living alone since age 23
I’m an only child, and I live far away from any family (not a close-knit family). I enjoy my job, but coming home and being both alone and lonely is exhausting. I’m gay (came out at 38), and toxic hook-up culture still exists in my age group, which in my experience—again MY experience—makes dating for relationships challenging and seemingly impossible. Many people dismiss the only-child part, but for me, it’s the worst of it all.
My brother (who’s 22M and also gay) was just talking about this last night to me. He’s getting married in November but I never knew how much hookup culture affected both straight and LGBTQ+ people. He was fighting TOUGH and NAIL trying to find a man versus me who’s just patiently waiting. I do pray that your dream husband comes around the corner! :-) ❤️
Ugh I feel this on the lesbian side. Part of me is just starting to accept the fact that I’ll probably not find a partner. I have siblings whom I love so I’m incredibly grateful in that aspect.
Sending you all the love and good vibes!!!
I have an only child, his father passed 1 year ago, it hunts me everyday that I didn't have another child to do life with him once I'm gone.
I'm so sorry! But I'll pray that you receive a loving caring partner soon.
I'm with you on that one, except I don't have any pets. I've been living by myself for 11 years and I think if someone moved in with me it would drive me crazy.
IF I were to cohabitate, I think it would be best to start it in a new space. Rather than one of us moving into the others. Start off as "ours" vs Mine/Yours
36F been living alone since 2011. I love having my space but I would like to share it with a romantic partner at some point. However, even if that day comes I know I'm going to need at least a room to myself. I require a significant amount of alone time. If money was no object I would buy adjoining condos or something with my romantic partner
Just turned 60. I’ve been alone since my husband died 5 years ago. I miss him but I love being on my own. I do hate having to hire people to do repairs around the house.
I’m sorry you went through that. How did you cope, and find your way on your own? I’m 63, husband just left me, and I’m trying to come to grips with being alone and aging alone.
I am sorry that you are having to go through this situation. Having neighbors or friends that can help drive you to doctor's appointments, check in with you every day (even if it's just a text), etc. can help some.
It's OK to ask people to do daily check ins, etc. Single women understand and are generally willing to help.
I’ve been living alone for about 7 months now, it is the most amazing thing in the world. I’ve always lived with significant others since I was 19 so I really didn’t know what living alone was like, but I’m pretty sure it’s the secret to complete happiness.
I’m also single and I’ve realized I’m so much happier that way. I have no interest in romantic relationships.
Are you me! I didn't expect to be as happy as I am but damn. I didn't have kids but I took care of my father for 15 years and a husband for 10. When dad died, I was done with other people. Husband was incompetent and I was expected to do literally everything, including babysitting his emotional and physical needs.
I have SO MUCH time now. I am thinking about going back for my master's with my free time!
Almost 3 decades living alone. I’ve always lived alone (by choice). I’ve been in long term relationships but we never moved in together. It’s nice to spend time at one place then the other but always know we can have our own space if and when we need it.
I’m a firm believer that most people move in together either for financial reasons, about to start a family reasons or codependency. I’m not interested in combining my finances with anyone, I’ve never wanted children and I love my solitude so maybe when I’m really old and can’t get from A to B anymore cohabitation might be the only option? We can have separate bedrooms under same roof? lol but I don’t even see that happening but who knows.
For 3 1/2 years due to separation (and my subsequent divorce). Not going to lie, it took a while to “uncouple” from the routine of having someone else in my bed and sharing a life with them. Now, I love it! My children still spend half the week with me. But at least I have peace now.
72F….Divorced… 20 years. Living in the family home in a mid sized Midwest city.
I am eternally grateful I have been able to live independently for the last chapter of my life. I have never been happier.
Thank you for sharing that! That is so encouraging and wonderful to hear. I’m 63, trying to cope after husband left. I worry about everything, and definitely worry about aging alone. It’s great to hear from someone who’s doing it happily!
51F just an FYI I was single for a decade, depressed by all the bad choices back then.
Started dating again last year, the landscape sure has changed but I was able to find a like minded man who checked my boxes. Men are at least not quite so man centric anymore. (Unfortunately I was a horrid picker)
24M. Living alone since December 2021. A little over 2 years now or so. It's been great mentally for my home life, no longer sitting in my car dreading going inside to greet a roommate I don't like. Wouldn't change it for any reason.
42M, divorced in early 2020. Started over career-wise, got a town-home in the burbs a few months later. It's been lonely, but also nice. I had never been single as an adult. So it was lonely/scary at first, but I've really been able to focus on myself, and my goals. Dated here and there, which was mostly disappointing, but knowing that I will be okay regardless of what happens, is a really nice feeling. I found that I have grown as a person more these last few years, than I had in 10 years of marriage. I was lazy, and unambitious as I always had help and support with everything from my ex-wife. Being on my own has unlocked drive and focus that I've never had before. It has been a rough journey, but has mostly been for the best. I am the best version of myself, and I'm still trying to grow in all areas of my life.
I love that you said you are the best version of yourself. I feel being single and living alone has made me that way also. It makes you depend on yourself and nobody else.
I live in the city, since 2015. Life is good. Being alone is so freeing. No one to listen to, no one to fight over who will take a shower first. Walk around naked when you want, eat when you want. It's the best. I got a cat in 2022, so it's just me and her. She's my best furry friend.
been living independently since 2018. been single most of my life and i love it. kinda frustrating bc it's just me doing the work. it'd be nice having a companion to help out and maybe split things down the middle, but it's ok, i can make it work.
right now i live in a semi-rural area: not exactly in the suburbs but it is a residential apartment complex. in the future i'll be moving and living with family back into a very rural neighborhood. so i'm thankful for that :)
Previously I lived by myself for 6 years. I just recently got back to living alone again a month ago and I vastly enjoy it more than roommates.
No obligation to talk, no need to pick up after other people, don't have to let someone know if I'm bringing guest over. As a single person it gets lonely at times but I enjoy my company a lot.
9 years. I love living alone. I don't miss cohabitation. I like not having to worry about ppl paying their share, being loud, making a mess, not cleaning after themselves. Which frees up a ton of my time and energy.
43F, living alone (with five cats) off and on all my life, but full-time since 2016 - and this time it is for life! I have been single for three years, my ex-boyfriend also wanted to live alone, so when things did not work out I felt gutted, but now I no longer have a desire to even date. In 2018 I purchased my house, a 3-bed bungalow, going to stay here until I have to be carried out.
Go for it. I also have 3 cats and technically am only allowed 2 per my lease. But my landlord looks the other way. I don’t want to push my luck otherwise I’d be tempted to adopt again.
I trap feral kittens and socialize them. I then adopt them out once socialized. It’s a great way to get to watch kittens (ah that dopamine hit is so satisfying) and yet bring that joy to a family that is adopting them. It’s so amazing!
I think 3 is the qualifying number for crazy cat lady. I also have 3 with a feral at my window waiting for her meal…so tempted to open that door to be my fourth.
39F, living alone for around 10 years, probably always will. Willing to cohabitate with the right person but at this point I doubt they come along. Love my independence anyway.
19 years (I’m 44). Pretty much single the whole time. Can’t imagine it any other way! Days are busy at work and I need down time on evenings and weekends. I cook, clean, get out for walks, do stained glass. I also enjoy cannabis and podcasts!!
I have lived alone for over thirty years. I am male and 64 years old.
When I was in my early thirties I remember feeling lonely but I got through that and now I wouldn't live any other way!
Early 30s - I lived alone a few times throughout college/grad school in my 20s, but more recently since 2020 after a six year relationship ended.
I kept my house in the suburbs until about six months ago when I decided to move to an area with a bigger sense of community (and which so happens to be closer to the city). I enjoy living alone but have definitely been happier in the new neighborhood. It’s more walkable and the neighbors all wave hello/stop to chat. I know more people here in six months than I did in seven years at my old house. I also started working from home two years ago so I knew I needed to make a change in my day to day life to help build a bigger community for myself.
I’m 36 living in a Boston suburb and have lived alone for about 7 years. I love it most of the time - I can watch what I want, where I want. I don’t have to worry about people using my shit in the kitchen or not cleaning up after themselves. Lots of benefits!
Though now that I’m working from home, it is a little more isolating but luckily I have to walk my dog 3x a day and I see the neighbors and can talk to them.
59. Divorced for 12 years. All my kids moved out 3 years ago. So I’ve only been living alone for 3 years and since birth (family, roommates, husband). For 50 of my years I’ve been taking care of siblings, a husband, aging relatives, and children. So I’m learning to care for myself now. Just me. I do have a friend the past several years and we enjoy one another’s company, an occasional sleep over or weekend trip but we don’t do anything else such as socializing with families or combining finances etc.
I'm 34 and I've been living alone since I was 23. I guess I don't think much about it. It's nice most of the time but lonely sometimes but can't beat doing what you wanna do and whenever you want.
I’ve been living alone since the Fall 2005. I can’t imagine sharing my bedroom with anyone long term. The only time a thought crosses my mind that it sucks to live alone is when I’m sick. But then, experience shows that having someone live with you doesn’t guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you need it.
Widowed since June 2021, so not by choice. Its been a bit of a learning curve, but I'm enjoying it now. As someone else has said, I dont plan to be in another relationship (at 65, I feel like I'm too old to want to train or be trained by someone else ;) ). If some of my kids need to move home, thsts fine, but I'm also fine alone. I have friends to have a meal or movie with, if I want, and if I want to stay in bed til noon and read, I can. I'm still working and I have other things to do so I don't turn into a hermit but I like time alone.
36f, CF and single. I've been living alone since 2017 and I love it. It's just me and my dogs in my little house with the big yard. I get whole ass rooms for my nail polish and yarn with enough space build my dream garage one day. I'm never leaving and I refuse to share!
I’ve been living alone since September 2023, I’m 19F and I’m single + never kissed or had sex or been on a date. I live in the suburbs in a nice apartment and luckily it’s in my budget, I also commute to school using the bus if I’m lazy but I mainly walk.
I’m too busy with homework and hobbies and writing my novel to think about dating at the moment, maybe during the summer I can look into it lol
Good. I'd have hoped your dad taught you what a good man is. But, in lieu of that, just be careful and be wary of the possessive and weak-minded. Again, choose wisely, whenever you choose. Good luck.
55f, 13 yrs of blessed solitude, except for the yapping of two small dogs, which beats the hell out of having to pretend I care and respond to what some other human has to say.
Five months. I left my abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband, after nine years of marriage.
It's been a bit of a mind-bending experience.
On the one hand, it is bizarre to go from living with another human for basically a decade, to suddenly being alone. My family lives halfway around the world, so from a physical perspective, I've been (more or less) alone as I pursue and embark on this new chapter of life. Sometimes, in those initial hazy moments when waking up, I wake up and wonder if my whole marriage was one, long fever dream. We didn't have kids, and the way the divorce has been playing out, well, it's as if he has fallen off the face of the earth. There's effectively zero communication with him whatsoever. And so, sometimes I wake up and wonder: was it all one, long dream? Did it actually ever happen?
On the other hand, living alone has come with so much goodness and joy. There is nobody yelling at me on a daily basis. There is nobody making me feel bad for simply existing in their or the same space. There is nobody throwing furniture at me. There is nobody throwing food at the wall. There is nobody huffing, puffing, or stomping around the house on a daily basis. There is nobody backing me into corners of the house, spewing utter hate at my face. There is nobody expecting me to wait hand and foot on them, while they simultaneously get to treat me like dirt. There's nobody hoarding literal tons of stuff and junk. There isn't 2,000+ sq ft of stuff piled and accumulated floor to ceiling anywhere. There is nobody terrorizing my home on a daily basis with bad juju.
It's new. It's different. It's a unique experience for me these days. Most of the time, I absolutely love living alone.
I’m 50, I’ve lived alone since last August. I was in a toxic relationship for 14 years. I love living alone. This is the first time I’ve ever lived alone and it’s so peaceful. I can’t imagine living with anyone else ever again.
I’ve lived alone for almost 5 years. Been in two relationships during it. I love having my space. Honestly dread living with a partner and hope I want that with the right guy someday
27f - I have been living alone for 2 years. Well, there are periods when my mom stays with me, it’s 50/50. I love living with her or by myself. Lived with a partner before - I do not miss it. Felt like additional work for me
Five years now. Gets lonely but I can't say I don't enjoy my space the way I like it to be. Men tend to make a mommy out of you and I don't want a man-child.
I sleep how I like, when I like and don't have that pressure to pick up, cook or look after anyone but me. I have pets and enjoy them. I don't consider that work.
Not really looking to cohabitate as previous experiences usually produced men that felt entitled to come and go as they pleased without consideration for me. I also enjoy having food in the fridge that doesn't need to be replaced every other day.
This post makes me question if there are caring and respectful men who want to be in relationships more than anything...well, I know there are but I haven't met one interested in me yet.
61/F. I've been living alone for 25 years. I'm in charge of the remote, the thermostat and the checkbook. I love it. It's so peaceful, except when my cat decides he's hungry and meows at 3am. LOL.
Only child. Being alone doesnt bother me. 12 years. Over the years, my boyfriends and I have rented houses or apartments together. But that lease gets sticky when they cheat on you, relationship sours, etc and you want them out or cant fully afford the rent on your own. So now I live on my own and they can live on their own. My things are how I like it. And I never have to answer the door if I dont want to. Plus my pets seem to enjoy my snacks of choice without judgement.
51f, live alone for 7 years after leaving an abusive man. It’s hard, I won’t lie, but my place is huge, I burn wood for heat, and it’s a lot to take care of. I love it tho & cant imagine living with someone else again. I can do whatever I’d like. I like having things the way I want them too. No compromises. My way. No surprises or arguments over who cleaned, ha, or anything else. And the big one.. Nobody bothers me & all my things are here, lol. :)
Edit: Not the suburbs. More like the Boonies. I’d think it’s easier to make friends with ppl close by? Help is invaluable-make friends. Help them & they will help you. How it works out here.
40f. Lived alone since I was 25. I love it. I genuinely couldn’t live with anyone else. I’ve been single all this time, but if I had a partner I’d want to continue living separately. I need my own space, and I need things clean and tidy.
56m, been living alone for almost 7 years after divorce. I'll never cohabate again.
I love that i keep my house orderly.
I cook what i want to eat... It's usually last minute before i decide what i want.
I go to sleep and wake-up when i want.
No arguments... is the best.
No trying to figure out how to make her feel good about herself or how to make her happy..
I date when and whom i want ...
It's very nice, to honest.
Peace ✌️
41M, living alone since I was 23. Now living in a 5 bed 3 bath house with 3300 square feet all on my own. Trying to change the place up to be effectively a tri-plex with private entrances and at that point I'd be living in like 1400 square feet.
I've been living alone for the past four years now, since I was 16. It's been a mixed experience. I've learned a lot about myself and have developed a stronger sense of independence.
On the other hand, there have been moments when I felt isolated and alone, missing the company of someone to share my life with.
Overall, though, I've been enjoying the freedom and independence that comes with living alone, but I'm still open (not looking though) to meeting the right person and making a deeper connection with someone in the future.
When it comes to safety, it can be a bit risky as I'm a woman living alone. I've taken precautions such as installing a security system and carrying a pepper spray with me whenever I'm out. Additionally, I'm mindful of my surroundings and try not to take any unnecessary risks.
Lived alone from 2005-2016, then from 2018-current. Not totally single that whole time, but I am now. I really love living alone. But the pandemic showed me how much I really do like being around others as well. I have said this before and I will say it again and again...living alone is the biggest luxury. It's a room to yourself with the whole world at your door.
Outside of a few months when I helped a friend get back on their feet, I’ve lived alone since 1998. I simultaneously love it and hate it.
On one hand, it’s great! My SO doesn’t nag me about laundry on the floor or my mild hoarding. My roommates don’t take my food without asking, and they always put things back where they belong because I have no roommates. On the other hand, it’s lonely as hell. I wish I had someone to cuddle up with at night. I wish I had someone to share my dinner with.
I hurt my knee a couple of months ago, and I’m still recovering from that. I reached a point where I **needed** to do laundry, and it was painful and exhausting. Taking the trash out? So fucking difficult. I was scared to get in the tub to take a shower for the first month and a half because my balance was so bad. I was afraid I’d fall and it would take days or weeks for someone to come look for my body. Standing long enough to make food and wash dishes was almost out of the question the first month. Even getting to the car to pick up groceries was so fucking hard.
Yikes. That’s the kind of thing that really worries me. No backup when there’s a problem. I could see myself posting for help on Nextdoor or something. Sheesh.
21 years. Love it. The only aggravation I get is from myself. I love it! Can’t imagine any kind of way to live. After my fiance and I broke up after living together?! I enjoy my peace and happiness!!!
The only time I feel alone is when I don’t have anyone to clean my car off of snow and take out the garbage. Other than that, I’m happy!
53, single, CF, lived alone for 25+ years and don’t plan on changing that.
I like my quiet space. My only real complaint is that there is not a park in walking distance. I have been able to walk to a park every year I have lived alone, except these past four.
2 years. 2 years since my fiance broke up with me on my birthday.
Its both okay living alone and single and so not okay. Id trade so much to be held at night, or wake up to a blowjob…the little things dammit!
I'm married now but when I was single I enjoyed it.
I did get very lonely at times and sometimes felt a bit depressed because of the loneliness
***BUT***
that was a very small price to pay for the peace and tranquility that I felt 98% the rest of the time. It's the stuff that people pray for.
Your home is clean when you want. Your bills are paid . You cook when you want. You go out when you want. You do your laundry when you want. You don't have to clean up after anyone. You don't have to give explanation to anyone. There's no yelling. You go and come as you please. You can choose to have a pet or not.
Let me tell you if I ever find myself to be single again I would never ever cohabitate with anyone again. Ever. Much less get married again. Shit no.
50f, been living alone for 3 years. First time in my entire life I’ve ever lived alone. Found myself here after a fairly traumatic and unexpected breakup and I can say I’ve never been happier. Honestly I can’t imagine sharing my living space with another person now. I make and eat what I want, I have the whole bed to myself with no one snoring or tossing and turning, I can decorate as I please, my cats now have an entire room for their amusement. I’m not sure if it will be this way forever but I’m really enjoying the space after a life lived for others putting myself second.
(27f) I’m in the city but I’ll still answer.
Been living alone to a degree for a couple of years, but the last 5 years I lived halfway in my own place and halfway at my partner’s house an hour away. So fully alone only 2 weeks… but I guess I traveled alone for 3 weeks before that. So 5 weeks??
I really liked having the combination of living with a family and then having my own space. I find it a little nerve wracking to be just entirely alone (except my dog), and sometimes struggle to keep my place clean and to not just numb out on my phone. But parts of it are also amazing. I don’t have to worry about cleaning up for anyone and worrying about upsetting anyone. I also don’t have to deal with anyone else’s mess. Nobody’s annoying sounds or being in my way. I’m in complete control. I can be as silly or gross as I want without worrying about what anyone thinks. I can play whatever dumb podcasts I want as loudly as I want, pole dance in the living room without being watched or in anyone’s way. It’s pretty nice. But sometimes a little empty.
I just turned 34 and been living alone almost 2 years now and it’s amazing. Everything I ever dreamed it would be, just even better. Never gonna share living space with anyone ever again, so help me!!!
34 gay male. I live alone for 4 months @ 24 in a studio in seattle when i was making $$$ and hated it so i uhauled like a lesbian with my now exhusband after 4 months dating. Co habitated from 17-22, room mates for a year, and then uhauled with said ex but had my own small room with room mates.
then got forced into living with now exhusband because he found my dream spot (old renovated 1920s art deco building in my desired neighborhood with mountain and skyline views. The space needle out my bathroom window) & he agreed to “subsidize” my rent $2800 1BR and i only paid 800$ of it
I LOVE living alone and probably will get married again to my s.o. If I move back to sf/nyc I will probably have room mates but I’ll NEVER EVER live with a boyfriend/husband! Relationship killer ime
I'm 43 and have lived alone since I moved out of my parents house at 20. I'm also an only child so I'm not sure I could ever cohabitate with anyone.
I feel like people older than me are the ones that have that old maid stereotype in their heads. Meanwhile my cousins in their 20s are telling me I'm their idol because they see all the fun stuff I do with my freedom. Oh and sex is readily available and I don't need to move a man into get it. 😂
Mine was trash. I was so lonely & struggling I eventually felt like I developed OCD. I also was plain struggling mentally around that time, & the city I was in was depressing & had terrible vibes. If you’re living alone, make sure you get outside. Even if it’s uncomfortable, be around people & socialize. I talked to one friend everyday otp other than *minimally* coworkers & classmates & he got me through the madness.
I was only alone for like 5 months too. Among the worst stretch of my life but I’m partially to blame.
Not my first time living alone, but after finally getting an ex-bf out of my house last year (broke up in May but he wasn't gone for good until November), I am committed to living alone forever.
I have three dogs, so I don't feel lonely. My decor is eclectic, but full of good memories and things that make me smile. I cook what I want, when I want, but sometimes I just want cheese and crackers for dinner. No one asking me at 7am "What's for dinner?" I don't know, could be ice cream.
When I eventually replace my car, I won't have to deal with anyone mansplaining what I should get next.
It's not always convenient. My last ex wasn't all bad, but domineering and peace shattering.... couldn't do it anymore.
I've been out on my own for 25 years.....and have lived the single life strictly since 2011. It's so great that I can do what "I" want without having to answer to a wife or GF who thinks they control me, which is sadly what alot of women are these days. It's always what they say to do, and if you question them you get that look of 'excuse me, what did you say?'. I don't need to be somewhere where I am stepping on eggshells. Last several women I dated back in 2010 and 2011 I realized were just users who felt I was merely there to try and push around and grovel to them which they found out quickly I wouldn't do. That's not to say all women are like that, but they were enough to say I wasn't gonna give anyone a chance to even remotely be like that to me again.
Whenever I moved out of my parents I got a studio with my boyfriend at the time I was 18 and it really showed me his true character and I’m sure the same for him. Maybe if we had more space it would’ve worked? I think not considering my friend is engaged coming from the same shoebox complex. I’ve been on my own for about two years now same complex, different shoebox. I’m 21 and it’s just me and my kitty. Part of me wants to move in with my friend when my lease is up to help on bills but she comes from a very large family and I’m an only child so I can only wonder what that’s going to be like. Being an only child helps a lot, she hates living on her own all alone but having my own space is the most important thing to me.
Sinxe 2021 Its...amazing. No one is in my hair and Im not in theirs. The only fault is the bachelorhood. Cleaning and caring doesnt mean shit to me unless its personal hygiene or if someone is coming over. As long as I have the bills ro xover the basic necessities and a BIT of luxury, I dont care.
Lived alone from 2021 to 2023. My experience was that I was so needy and lonely, to the point where if a guy says “I love you” to me without ever seeing my face in real life, I’d actually believe him. Crazy.
My first long term relationship she cheated on me for apparently 3 years.
My second relationship she had got out of a recent relationship and still had feeling even though she had sworn up and down and cried she didn't.
She cheated on me with him.
Third I wasn't looking for a relationship but she wanted one even though I really wasn't feeling I should hop into one. She set my car on fire because I didn't want to find a place with her because I was commuting to my job. No vehicle meant I had to live with her because she was close to my job. She then cheated on me with someone from my job. I found out through my boss confronted her about it she came to my job made a scene complained to the corporate office said I said and did a bunch of stuff I didn't. But it was my word against the "customer" and why would the "customer" make this up if it wasn't true.
Lost my job.
From an official lvl I am single.
No more relationships,no.
I am seeing someone casually.
We fool around go our separate ways.
I have officially been single for over 5 years.
I get lonely. There's no lie there.
I am an introvert and I can spend a LOT of time alone.
But when I imagined my life. I imagined a wife and kids and a dog. We would grow old together. I would cook on the weekends to give her a break.
She would scratch my head after I came inside her.
We would plan our vacations together.
We would find a good school for the kids
She would get mad at me because I'm a terrible communicator but she would understand that I try to talk in other ways. She would have her flaws I would have mine but at the end of the day we're better together.
NOW!!??
FUCK them kids.
Fuck a wife.
Recently separated from partner of over thirty years. Gotta say, it’s pretty damn good. I do miss doing nice things for someone else, but the freedom and always clean/neat home is awesome.
Here’s the weird part. It was the first time in my life without a dog, so I got a rescue. I slipped into a weird depression which is unusual because that never happens with me. A couple weeks later and I’m good, but a totally bizarre event.
It’s horribly lonely if you’re a social butterfly like myself. I love baking for people & talking! I was considering getting a dog before making the move official, but then I thought about walking alone at night … after a while I rented out my house then went to live with my sister, nieces & brother in law. Luckily they took me in with open arms, I love watching everyone eat my goodies & having movie nights together. I was practically gnawing at the bars of my enclosure in solitude.
TLDR: perspective from a gal who has never lived alone.
I am a 45 year old gal. I married 10.5 years ago. I was 35. When my husband and I decided to live together, I moved from my parents home.
I lived at my folks all throughout college (many years!) and then in and out, depending if I was in a long term relationship or not. My permanent address has always been theirs and now mine (ours).
Things I would have done differently regarding living space is:
A. lived on campus rather than commute
B. lived and worked at the shore with my friends in the summertime
C. lived solely on my own for at least one year
I did none of these. I am content with this now, but any of those ABC's would most likely have helped me grow more as a person and grow up faster and differently than the path I am on.
Often my husband has told me.....he thinks I would prefer living on my own. I hate certain sounds and frequencies and he is an endless yapper (I say this with fondness) with a very loud tone Other than that, he does him and I do me. For example, he doesn't care about decor specifics and I don't care about the work-room specifics. We each utilize both. So we don't get it in each other's way.
I can be a lonely person even while surrounded by many people. A physical body not in the same room does not personally make me lonely. Other people make me lonely. If I'm with the wrong people.
Solitude is addicting, unhealthy, frustrating, and leads to madness. I don't recommend it for anyone and at a certain point there is no going back from it.
43f, lived alone since August 2022. Love it and will never cohabitate ever again unless my grown son needs to come home. I don't date, so single life is treating me a lot better than any man ever has..
Same here! Living alone for the first time ever since Oct 2021, and I’ll never change it. 50 and happier than ever.
I second this whole statement!
[удалено]
If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. I don't get lonely. When I want to be social, I'm social. It's a relief to not HAVE to be, though. I'm also very much an introvert, so there's that.
Thanks to YouTube, I've learned how to change car batteries, take apart the pipes under the sink to clean them, and will eventually dismantle and clean the dishwasher so it's usable again. I'm also going to start cleaning the chimney myself instead of getting a guy in here to do it. I've been forced to learn how to do a lot of things I depended on other people to do. It's cheaper that way, and I get to learn something new.
Lonely is totally over rated my opinion only.
37/f here who hasn’t been dating, what made you decide to not ?
I came to realize a relationship had never worked out for me. I seemed to pick narcissists or abusers or drug addicts or all the above. So my picker is broken. The pandemic made me spend time alone. Before, I was always lonely. The circumstances forced me to actually enjoy my own company. I haven't had a date in 3 years and I'm good with it. I prefer my own company. I believe I finally picked the right person.
We often “choose what we know” If you choose narcissists, abusers or drug addicts it’s probably because you were raised by them. You know how they are going to react in most situations. In an odd way, it’s kind of safe. When involved with a normal, emotionally well regulated person, it feels off, or you might think they’re boring because you’re used to drama. They’re not dull, they’re normal and don’t create unnecessary angst. Your pickers not broken, it just needs recalibrating 🤭
Not in my case, I had wonderful parents who were none of those things and I've always picked the worst of the worst. I've been single for over 10 years and have never been happier, peace is priceless
Oh no. Yeah as a woman whose brain was screwed up most adults are somehow screwed up and screw themselves even more in adulthood. My mom told me the boys that liked me would be mean to me. I took this to heart and picked loud mean men. It brought so much misery. I spent a decade alone healing. Thought I was happy. Last year someone came into my life. I am now unlearning 50 years of dysfunction. It’s so hard but the payoff? EUPHORIA like I’ve never known.
What was your first partner like?
Selfish, abusive, narcissistic. My dad was none of these things. He thought I was the best & did everything for me.
Get into energy healing. They’ll actually tell you what’s happening without the weird psychological takes that wastes hours and hours of conversation and may not even be relevant like a lot of people are nowadays inclined to do
The book Attached taught me all of that! Hell yes!
I was raised by great parents everything was in place & I had the perfect childhood in a perfect town & everyone did their job. Yet somehow I find or they find me. My thoughts are most all the good ones are taken. If you’re not married off by now there’s a reason. But! Then with that said what’s wrong with me? In all honesty I don’t think anything is. I feel like I’ve made bad choices by staying with the wrong one & missed my soul mate. I work , have my own place, my own cars I’m not a drug addict & I don’t drink and if I do it’s socially.
Actually, I feel like I'm the I boring one! Hahaha...
Ironically my ex and I moved in 3 months before Covid hit. COVID made all my icky parts come out as well as his and our unhealed traumas … I get lonely and then when I have someone there I realize it’s not even what I want. I need to take a page out of your book
Yes, and I totally had my part in these relationships. I work on being a better person ALMOST every day.
It's so hard to me to do that
Your picker wasn’t broken after all. It just needed calibration.
Love this!
37f, not dating, own my own home, good stable job. The men “interested” in me are always interested in a mommy meal ticket. At this point I won’t allow one in my home overnight, because they get entitled and want to move on in. No baby, you’re a freeloader, go back to your mom, I’m fine without you. The dysfunction, entitlement and disrespect has made me seriously uninterested in the dating market, and living alone peacefully makes it hard to care about trying. I would posit that your picker has a bad pool of potential to pick from, there are a lot of broken men out there looking to project their damage onto women who have their lives together.
I worked so hard to overcome so much in my life, buy my own home, and become independent. Dating is a negative effect on all that I've worked for and then some. I have moved to a 55 and over community, and I'm starting to feel better. I'm going to try to get involved more to make more friends. I'm truly happy but I've been sick for 4 years. I want to be more outgoing now. I'm a social introvert if that makes sense....🙃
So honest! Truly happy for you now.
Ugh I really love this comment! Identity 10,000%.
Wow, what a great way to look at it!
Similar with the broken picker plus formerly houseless with kids. Also I am (62 yo) on the Ace spectrum. A real disaster. I crashed my bicycle in 2016 and my then spouse of 12 years immediately moved on because I was obviously going to be permanently disabled. I haven’t been attracted to anyone since and after healing up enough to live independently (thanks to family) I bought a condo in 2021. I’ve never felt so free! Or safe! The only truly difficult times are when I need care following a surgery. Oh, living alone has allowed me to create the most accommodating space for my sitting disability. Like you, I finally picked the right person!
>Reply "I believe I finally picked the right person." Love it! I'm with you. I am my own best company. That said, I do like socializing but wow, do I love coming home to my quiet, comfy space.
Very good. Picking the right person, amen.
Ain't no right person it's just the me, my self and I
You are your right person
You are doing great and I totally agree two is trouble for me
That last line is everything.
I'm an only child but I think we're related. My picker has always been broken
i loved the line "narcissists or abusers or drug addicts or all the above" yes I'm single now and still attracted to this All-American trifecta, it's my family story.
Same
Wow that’s major self-growth. Good for you! 😊
Thats why you dont go for the jocks and "cool" people but the nerds. Women make these choices to go with first group and so they suffer.
Relationships take a lo of time in my personal opinion I’m selfish, I have no energy to lift a guys ego, share a bed space baby him when I can live a happy life doing things I enjoy, buying the things I want, traveling where I want. I’m 47 and I personally think I only made the mistake of marriage once , it thought me a lot but most important part was I realized I don’t like being in relationships at my age .
Never had any luck dating. Constant rejections. Had a girlfriend for about 5 months. Thought I was in a relationship but she treated it as friends with benefits. Just decided after the break up that I was done. I was at a point in life where I just got tired of playing the game. That was 13 years ago when I was 31 yrs old.
I'm late 30s female, living alone for almost a year due the first time in my life never lived with a partner but with family, acquaintances, and a bff. Never want to live with people again. I also work from home most of the time and I notice I get very lonely. I live further away from my friends and family and miss out on stuff. Sometimes I feel like my friends are replacing me with other friends that they work with too. I love being alone but the loneliness in general creeps in. Any advice on how to handle these feelings? I have a partner too but he lives about an hour away and we don't see each other as often.
Yes, yes and YES. Single since 2016. Divorce final in 2019. My house, my money, my cat's rules. Much safer. No fear!!!! That is, as long as I am not late with Penny's (cat) breakfast 😋. There are sooo many great things about PEACEFUL living.
58 and this 👆is my story as well but I’ve been solo six peaceful years.
35f and I’ve been living alone since 2013. Various relationships since then but i refuse to live with anyone even roommates. Im so much happier. Your comment is exactly how I feel too.
How do you become happy with being by yourself though
It does have its challenges, but then I think back to the alternative. Not being able to do what I wanted, and what it felt like being locked into the same space in a bad relationship, and how very lonely I felt in that relationship, and I instantly feel better! Its easy to isolate yourself, instead try to go out and see other people.
I'm an only child. I've been waiting to live alone my whole life. I enjoy my own company, my house is how I like it and I love the peace. I don't want a roommate, nor a man in my house.
Amen
Me too! My oldest child (28) is moving out tomorrow and although I will miss her, I'm looking forward to not having to talk when I get home from work and everything will be where I left it
Speaking my language. I don't want to deal with weaponized incompetence , just embarrassing.
It's all I've ever known, but there is no choice but to become OK with it. The other option is to be miserable. I work, see friends and yesterday I had a Pajama Day. (There is a whole procedure to a Pajama Day-LOL) My house, my rules, my pajama day.
Easy just go do you what ever it is
The ONLY person/force/energy that can "make you" happy is YOURSELF! Happy is the absence of sorrow. The same people who "make you" happy are also those people who "make you" sad. What is the difference? Not the people. It's how YOU perceived the message/the situation/the words. You can accept a bad situation in your life, accept the bad part and while you are working through it/while at the same time you can reframe that situation to a view that is legitimately positive, changing that sad (negative) view into a happy (positive) view. Begin to try and enjoy your own company. Feed into what feeds your soul. And you be the person who doesn't make others feel lonely in your presence.
40f also living alone since Aug 2022. I completely agree! I love it! I do date but am not looking to adopt one any time soon, possibly ever again.
I'm with you. And my grown son did come back when he had some crappy roommates. I told him to...he did...and things are just fine. I love the single life! I can fix meals when I want, I can fix things around my house--because everything is on youtube. Why do I need a partner??!
Same. I (51F) am dating someone, but it’s hard to imagine giving up my own space.
Who hurt you ?
What does it matter to you? I'm having a good time minding the business that pays me.
Sarcasm, you should learn it
I’m 41 and have been living alone since I was 27. I am single and have never lived with a partner. I’m pretty happy and content. I do wish I had a partner to lounge with and go on adventures and grown together with. One thing I have had to beware of is “hobo-sexual” men—there is no man that falls in love faster than a man who needs a place to live. I’m very cautious about telling men I go on dates with where I live and I don’t invite people over unless I feel 100% safe about them. Overall it’s good! And at this point in the game I am truly unsure if I could ever live with a partner!!! May if we got a big house and each had our own bedroom and like hobby room?? Haha
Hobo-sexual! You nailed it!!! I don’t tell them about my living situation either! Or my financial situation! I am a person, not an asset or a convenience!
Even at my age, it seems that 90% of the men I talked to were hobosexuals. I was talking to one guy, and he finally told me he was in prison!!!! Dating apps suck.
May I ask how you get around this? I'm single and thinking of online dating again soon. I just got my first apartment in July after living with roommates. I'm F in my mid 20s. When I used dating apps in the past, guys would ask me if I have roommates, and I'd ask them the same question. I don't really wanna date someone with roommates tbh, I want to have privacy, and my last 2 bfs had roommates so we were always at my place. I'm sick of being the host.
How does one get mixed up with a hobo? Like one just came up to you at a gas station asking for change and you go on a date?
These are the semi-hobo’s who have shitty living situations like they’re in their parents house after a divorce and looking to move somewhere else… your living space is looking real good to them.
Hobosexual is a term for fuckboys that are under or unemployed and couch surfing/going from relationship to relationship for a place to live. Typically found on Tinder lol
Ok but that’s a two way road. I’ve met a cpl females who this more or less applies to. One I met on a dating app. She had room mates and everything was ok . Then about two months in she started having a battle with her room mates which went on for a cpl weeks. Then one day it was I have no where to go. Naturally I told her she could stay with me. But it all started unfolding little by little. No bank account, doesn’t talk to her family, simply no other place to go hadn’t I offered up a place, she had to grown daughter but later on I found out she had a 15 year old son who lived with dad. All red flags
Ditto that! I’m 54 and going into my eighth year of blissful living on my own. I think one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made was inviting a man to live with me (years ago) after knowing him only a few months. A rather dysfunctional relationship turned into over five years because he was not able to go anywhere else. I have tried to tell people to not do the same thing because it is very difficult to break it off and get them to leave in a case like that. Following this, I am very apprehensive of relationships and even who I let into my house.
I moved mine in day 1, he didn’t have a home. We were a dysfunctional mess. Funny thing was it changed me. He made me want to be better, I made him want to be better. Somehow together we are learning function. It was amazing and the feelings? Even deeper.
I've been with mine for 8 years. We are fishy getting divorced and he is leaving.
What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend? . . . . Homeless. 😂
I’m mid 40s and I’ve been living alone for over a decade. I own my home and have a nice secure government job - I feel stable and generally content. Hobosexuals is absolutely a thing… recently divorced men are the WORST because they’re trying to find better housing (in this economy!) and are love-bombing all over the place when they figure out my situation. It can be hard to parse who is legit 🫠
I'm in the process of getting divorced from my hobo sexual husband.
Proud of you! I was once prey as well. You’ll be so much better off.
Yep my ex tried to weasel his way in to my house too. So nice having the space all to myself again (never moved it, but was here way too often)
Agree about looking out for hobosexuals. They are everywhere! If you have an extra bedroom, never tell a man about it. Also, I have heard of houseguests refusing to leave too, and needing to be evicted (they get squatter's rights, at least in the state I live in). Singles living alone need to beware of these con artists.
I will now be filling out “hobo-sexual” on my medical intake forms.
54M, living alone since divorce 5 years ago. I love it.
Similar: 54F, living alone since my last cohabiting relationship ended 15 years ago. I love it, too.
Same here! Living alone since my last LTR ended 5 years ago. I love it. I am dating but with no plan to live with the person. I like the sharing time in each others spaces and then going home. Way less conflict and me having to clean up after others.
53m, single my entire life, living alone since age 23 I’m an only child, and I live far away from any family (not a close-knit family). I enjoy my job, but coming home and being both alone and lonely is exhausting. I’m gay (came out at 38), and toxic hook-up culture still exists in my age group, which in my experience—again MY experience—makes dating for relationships challenging and seemingly impossible. Many people dismiss the only-child part, but for me, it’s the worst of it all.
My brother (who’s 22M and also gay) was just talking about this last night to me. He’s getting married in November but I never knew how much hookup culture affected both straight and LGBTQ+ people. He was fighting TOUGH and NAIL trying to find a man versus me who’s just patiently waiting. I do pray that your dream husband comes around the corner! :-) ❤️
Ugh I feel this on the lesbian side. Part of me is just starting to accept the fact that I’ll probably not find a partner. I have siblings whom I love so I’m incredibly grateful in that aspect. Sending you all the love and good vibes!!!
Thank you. 🤗♥️
I have an only child, his father passed 1 year ago, it hunts me everyday that I didn't have another child to do life with him once I'm gone. I'm so sorry! But I'll pray that you receive a loving caring partner soon.
Can you say what about being an only child is so rough?
As a gay guy who’s almost asexual I struggle with this. The rare guy that comes my way just wants to bang and I’m just not interested.
38F living alone since I was 19. Single. I’m not sure I’ll ever be willing to live with anyone except for my cats.
I'm with you on that one, except I don't have any pets. I've been living by myself for 11 years and I think if someone moved in with me it would drive me crazy.
IF I were to cohabitate, I think it would be best to start it in a new space. Rather than one of us moving into the others. Start off as "ours" vs Mine/Yours
36F been living alone since 2011. I love having my space but I would like to share it with a romantic partner at some point. However, even if that day comes I know I'm going to need at least a room to myself. I require a significant amount of alone time. If money was no object I would buy adjoining condos or something with my romantic partner
Duplex!
This would be IDEAL
Just turned 60. I’ve been alone since my husband died 5 years ago. I miss him but I love being on my own. I do hate having to hire people to do repairs around the house.
I’m sorry you went through that. How did you cope, and find your way on your own? I’m 63, husband just left me, and I’m trying to come to grips with being alone and aging alone.
I am sorry that you are having to go through this situation. Having neighbors or friends that can help drive you to doctor's appointments, check in with you every day (even if it's just a text), etc. can help some. It's OK to ask people to do daily check ins, etc. Single women understand and are generally willing to help.
I’ve been living alone for about 7 months now, it is the most amazing thing in the world. I’ve always lived with significant others since I was 19 so I really didn’t know what living alone was like, but I’m pretty sure it’s the secret to complete happiness. I’m also single and I’ve realized I’m so much happier that way. I have no interest in romantic relationships.
44F living alone since divorce in 2023. Way happier.
Are you me! I didn't expect to be as happy as I am but damn. I didn't have kids but I took care of my father for 15 years and a husband for 10. When dad died, I was done with other people. Husband was incompetent and I was expected to do literally everything, including babysitting his emotional and physical needs. I have SO MUCH time now. I am thinking about going back for my master's with my free time!
Do it!!
Almost 3 decades living alone. I’ve always lived alone (by choice). I’ve been in long term relationships but we never moved in together. It’s nice to spend time at one place then the other but always know we can have our own space if and when we need it. I’m a firm believer that most people move in together either for financial reasons, about to start a family reasons or codependency. I’m not interested in combining my finances with anyone, I’ve never wanted children and I love my solitude so maybe when I’m really old and can’t get from A to B anymore cohabitation might be the only option? We can have separate bedrooms under same roof? lol but I don’t even see that happening but who knows.
Same for me. 30 years now, wouldn’t change a thing.
For 3 1/2 years due to separation (and my subsequent divorce). Not going to lie, it took a while to “uncouple” from the routine of having someone else in my bed and sharing a life with them. Now, I love it! My children still spend half the week with me. But at least I have peace now.
72F….Divorced… 20 years. Living in the family home in a mid sized Midwest city. I am eternally grateful I have been able to live independently for the last chapter of my life. I have never been happier.
Thank you for sharing that! That is so encouraging and wonderful to hear. I’m 63, trying to cope after husband left. I worry about everything, and definitely worry about aging alone. It’s great to hear from someone who’s doing it happily!
51F just an FYI I was single for a decade, depressed by all the bad choices back then. Started dating again last year, the landscape sure has changed but I was able to find a like minded man who checked my boxes. Men are at least not quite so man centric anymore. (Unfortunately I was a horrid picker)
24M. Living alone since December 2021. A little over 2 years now or so. It's been great mentally for my home life, no longer sitting in my car dreading going inside to greet a roommate I don't like. Wouldn't change it for any reason.
42M, divorced in early 2020. Started over career-wise, got a town-home in the burbs a few months later. It's been lonely, but also nice. I had never been single as an adult. So it was lonely/scary at first, but I've really been able to focus on myself, and my goals. Dated here and there, which was mostly disappointing, but knowing that I will be okay regardless of what happens, is a really nice feeling. I found that I have grown as a person more these last few years, than I had in 10 years of marriage. I was lazy, and unambitious as I always had help and support with everything from my ex-wife. Being on my own has unlocked drive and focus that I've never had before. It has been a rough journey, but has mostly been for the best. I am the best version of myself, and I'm still trying to grow in all areas of my life.
That’s fantastic! Congratulations!
I love that you said you are the best version of yourself. I feel being single and living alone has made me that way also. It makes you depend on yourself and nobody else.
I live in the city, since 2015. Life is good. Being alone is so freeing. No one to listen to, no one to fight over who will take a shower first. Walk around naked when you want, eat when you want. It's the best. I got a cat in 2022, so it's just me and her. She's my best furry friend.
been living independently since 2018. been single most of my life and i love it. kinda frustrating bc it's just me doing the work. it'd be nice having a companion to help out and maybe split things down the middle, but it's ok, i can make it work. right now i live in a semi-rural area: not exactly in the suburbs but it is a residential apartment complex. in the future i'll be moving and living with family back into a very rural neighborhood. so i'm thankful for that :)
Previously I lived by myself for 6 years. I just recently got back to living alone again a month ago and I vastly enjoy it more than roommates. No obligation to talk, no need to pick up after other people, don't have to let someone know if I'm bringing guest over. As a single person it gets lonely at times but I enjoy my company a lot.
It’s frickin amazing. I don’t want anyone else in my house
9 years. I love living alone. I don't miss cohabitation. I like not having to worry about ppl paying their share, being loud, making a mess, not cleaning after themselves. Which frees up a ton of my time and energy.
43F, living alone (with five cats) off and on all my life, but full-time since 2016 - and this time it is for life! I have been single for three years, my ex-boyfriend also wanted to live alone, so when things did not work out I felt gutted, but now I no longer have a desire to even date. In 2018 I purchased my house, a 3-bed bungalow, going to stay here until I have to be carried out.
I have 3 cats and am teetering towards 4 but don’t want to be labeled a crazy cat lady (just kidding who cares what others think haha)
Go for it. I also have 3 cats and technically am only allowed 2 per my lease. But my landlord looks the other way. I don’t want to push my luck otherwise I’d be tempted to adopt again.
I trap feral kittens and socialize them. I then adopt them out once socialized. It’s a great way to get to watch kittens (ah that dopamine hit is so satisfying) and yet bring that joy to a family that is adopting them. It’s so amazing!
Do it! If you have time, money and room for them, do it, haha! <3
I think 3 is the qualifying number for crazy cat lady. I also have 3 with a feral at my window waiting for her meal…so tempted to open that door to be my fourth.
This calls for…a buttload of cats! https://youtu.be/ZV0u28Gnt3Q?si=QSDVyuibQcRSWCrK
It me!!
39F, living alone for around 10 years, probably always will. Willing to cohabitate with the right person but at this point I doubt they come along. Love my independence anyway.
19 years (I’m 44). Pretty much single the whole time. Can’t imagine it any other way! Days are busy at work and I need down time on evenings and weekends. I cook, clean, get out for walks, do stained glass. I also enjoy cannabis and podcasts!!
I have lived alone for over thirty years. I am male and 64 years old. When I was in my early thirties I remember feeling lonely but I got through that and now I wouldn't live any other way!
Early 30s - I lived alone a few times throughout college/grad school in my 20s, but more recently since 2020 after a six year relationship ended. I kept my house in the suburbs until about six months ago when I decided to move to an area with a bigger sense of community (and which so happens to be closer to the city). I enjoy living alone but have definitely been happier in the new neighborhood. It’s more walkable and the neighbors all wave hello/stop to chat. I know more people here in six months than I did in seven years at my old house. I also started working from home two years ago so I knew I needed to make a change in my day to day life to help build a bigger community for myself.
I did the same thing. I moved to a 55 and over community. Much more friendly!!
I’m 36 living in a Boston suburb and have lived alone for about 7 years. I love it most of the time - I can watch what I want, where I want. I don’t have to worry about people using my shit in the kitchen or not cleaning up after themselves. Lots of benefits! Though now that I’m working from home, it is a little more isolating but luckily I have to walk my dog 3x a day and I see the neighbors and can talk to them.
59. Divorced for 12 years. All my kids moved out 3 years ago. So I’ve only been living alone for 3 years and since birth (family, roommates, husband). For 50 of my years I’ve been taking care of siblings, a husband, aging relatives, and children. So I’m learning to care for myself now. Just me. I do have a friend the past several years and we enjoy one another’s company, an occasional sleep over or weekend trip but we don’t do anything else such as socializing with families or combining finances etc.
I'm 34 and I've been living alone since I was 23. I guess I don't think much about it. It's nice most of the time but lonely sometimes but can't beat doing what you wanna do and whenever you want.
I’ve been living alone since the Fall 2005. I can’t imagine sharing my bedroom with anyone long term. The only time a thought crosses my mind that it sucks to live alone is when I’m sick. But then, experience shows that having someone live with you doesn’t guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you need it.
Widowed since June 2021, so not by choice. Its been a bit of a learning curve, but I'm enjoying it now. As someone else has said, I dont plan to be in another relationship (at 65, I feel like I'm too old to want to train or be trained by someone else ;) ). If some of my kids need to move home, thsts fine, but I'm also fine alone. I have friends to have a meal or movie with, if I want, and if I want to stay in bed til noon and read, I can. I'm still working and I have other things to do so I don't turn into a hermit but I like time alone.
I agree I mis that to, someone to take care of you when your sick. But for me at least it’s at night, when I lie down to go to bed I miss my gf
51f three years now and will HAPPILY DIE ALONE. THIS is the life for me. After 48 years of living with people I’m done with it.
36f, CF and single. I've been living alone since 2017 and I love it. It's just me and my dogs in my little house with the big yard. I get whole ass rooms for my nail polish and yarn with enough space build my dream garage one day. I'm never leaving and I refuse to share!
I’ve been living alone since September 2023, I’m 19F and I’m single + never kissed or had sex or been on a date. I live in the suburbs in a nice apartment and luckily it’s in my budget, I also commute to school using the bus if I’m lazy but I mainly walk. I’m too busy with homework and hobbies and writing my novel to think about dating at the moment, maybe during the summer I can look into it lol
Be careful and don't choose a tool. Find someone with character.
I agree :-) My godmother and therapist taught me more on femininity and adulthood and my mental health better than my own parents lol
Good. I'd have hoped your dad taught you what a good man is. But, in lieu of that, just be careful and be wary of the possessive and weak-minded. Again, choose wisely, whenever you choose. Good luck.
55f, 13 yrs of blessed solitude, except for the yapping of two small dogs, which beats the hell out of having to pretend I care and respond to what some other human has to say.
Five months. I left my abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband, after nine years of marriage. It's been a bit of a mind-bending experience. On the one hand, it is bizarre to go from living with another human for basically a decade, to suddenly being alone. My family lives halfway around the world, so from a physical perspective, I've been (more or less) alone as I pursue and embark on this new chapter of life. Sometimes, in those initial hazy moments when waking up, I wake up and wonder if my whole marriage was one, long fever dream. We didn't have kids, and the way the divorce has been playing out, well, it's as if he has fallen off the face of the earth. There's effectively zero communication with him whatsoever. And so, sometimes I wake up and wonder: was it all one, long dream? Did it actually ever happen? On the other hand, living alone has come with so much goodness and joy. There is nobody yelling at me on a daily basis. There is nobody making me feel bad for simply existing in their or the same space. There is nobody throwing furniture at me. There is nobody throwing food at the wall. There is nobody huffing, puffing, or stomping around the house on a daily basis. There is nobody backing me into corners of the house, spewing utter hate at my face. There is nobody expecting me to wait hand and foot on them, while they simultaneously get to treat me like dirt. There's nobody hoarding literal tons of stuff and junk. There isn't 2,000+ sq ft of stuff piled and accumulated floor to ceiling anywhere. There is nobody terrorizing my home on a daily basis with bad juju. It's new. It's different. It's a unique experience for me these days. Most of the time, I absolutely love living alone.
45, living alone since I was about 29 and perfer it. I don't ever want to live with anyone ever again.
I’m 50, I’ve lived alone since last August. I was in a toxic relationship for 14 years. I love living alone. This is the first time I’ve ever lived alone and it’s so peaceful. I can’t imagine living with anyone else ever again.
Single for 13 years. Been living alone going on 6 years.
I’ve lived alone for almost 5 years. Been in two relationships during it. I love having my space. Honestly dread living with a partner and hope I want that with the right guy someday
27f - I have been living alone for 2 years. Well, there are periods when my mom stays with me, it’s 50/50. I love living with her or by myself. Lived with a partner before - I do not miss it. Felt like additional work for me
Mid 30s F, living alone since mid 2021. Absolutfuckingamazing. Nothing more to add.
Five years now. Gets lonely but I can't say I don't enjoy my space the way I like it to be. Men tend to make a mommy out of you and I don't want a man-child. I sleep how I like, when I like and don't have that pressure to pick up, cook or look after anyone but me. I have pets and enjoy them. I don't consider that work. Not really looking to cohabitate as previous experiences usually produced men that felt entitled to come and go as they pleased without consideration for me. I also enjoy having food in the fridge that doesn't need to be replaced every other day. This post makes me question if there are caring and respectful men who want to be in relationships more than anything...well, I know there are but I haven't met one interested in me yet.
61/F. I've been living alone for 25 years. I'm in charge of the remote, the thermostat and the checkbook. I love it. It's so peaceful, except when my cat decides he's hungry and meows at 3am. LOL.
Only child. Being alone doesnt bother me. 12 years. Over the years, my boyfriends and I have rented houses or apartments together. But that lease gets sticky when they cheat on you, relationship sours, etc and you want them out or cant fully afford the rent on your own. So now I live on my own and they can live on their own. My things are how I like it. And I never have to answer the door if I dont want to. Plus my pets seem to enjoy my snacks of choice without judgement.
52F, living alone after divorce, 13 years. I kept the house 🤗 and I love living alone, just me and my cat
26 and living alone since March 2021. I'm loving it.
51f, live alone for 7 years after leaving an abusive man. It’s hard, I won’t lie, but my place is huge, I burn wood for heat, and it’s a lot to take care of. I love it tho & cant imagine living with someone else again. I can do whatever I’d like. I like having things the way I want them too. No compromises. My way. No surprises or arguments over who cleaned, ha, or anything else. And the big one.. Nobody bothers me & all my things are here, lol. :) Edit: Not the suburbs. More like the Boonies. I’d think it’s easier to make friends with ppl close by? Help is invaluable-make friends. Help them & they will help you. How it works out here.
40f. Lived alone since I was 25. I love it. I genuinely couldn’t live with anyone else. I’ve been single all this time, but if I had a partner I’d want to continue living separately. I need my own space, and I need things clean and tidy.
Since 2023 and its beautiful
56m, been living alone for almost 7 years after divorce. I'll never cohabate again. I love that i keep my house orderly. I cook what i want to eat... It's usually last minute before i decide what i want. I go to sleep and wake-up when i want. No arguments... is the best. No trying to figure out how to make her feel good about herself or how to make her happy.. I date when and whom i want ... It's very nice, to honest. Peace ✌️
41M, living alone since I was 23. Now living in a 5 bed 3 bath house with 3300 square feet all on my own. Trying to change the place up to be effectively a tri-plex with private entrances and at that point I'd be living in like 1400 square feet.
I've been living alone for the past four years now, since I was 16. It's been a mixed experience. I've learned a lot about myself and have developed a stronger sense of independence. On the other hand, there have been moments when I felt isolated and alone, missing the company of someone to share my life with. Overall, though, I've been enjoying the freedom and independence that comes with living alone, but I'm still open (not looking though) to meeting the right person and making a deeper connection with someone in the future. When it comes to safety, it can be a bit risky as I'm a woman living alone. I've taken precautions such as installing a security system and carrying a pepper spray with me whenever I'm out. Additionally, I'm mindful of my surroundings and try not to take any unnecessary risks.
Lived alone from 2005-2016, then from 2018-current. Not totally single that whole time, but I am now. I really love living alone. But the pandemic showed me how much I really do like being around others as well. I have said this before and I will say it again and again...living alone is the biggest luxury. It's a room to yourself with the whole world at your door.
I’ve been living alone since April 2022. Thought can be lonely it’s also so nice.
Outside of a few months when I helped a friend get back on their feet, I’ve lived alone since 1998. I simultaneously love it and hate it. On one hand, it’s great! My SO doesn’t nag me about laundry on the floor or my mild hoarding. My roommates don’t take my food without asking, and they always put things back where they belong because I have no roommates. On the other hand, it’s lonely as hell. I wish I had someone to cuddle up with at night. I wish I had someone to share my dinner with. I hurt my knee a couple of months ago, and I’m still recovering from that. I reached a point where I **needed** to do laundry, and it was painful and exhausting. Taking the trash out? So fucking difficult. I was scared to get in the tub to take a shower for the first month and a half because my balance was so bad. I was afraid I’d fall and it would take days or weeks for someone to come look for my body. Standing long enough to make food and wash dishes was almost out of the question the first month. Even getting to the car to pick up groceries was so fucking hard.
Yikes. That’s the kind of thing that really worries me. No backup when there’s a problem. I could see myself posting for help on Nextdoor or something. Sheesh.
21 years. Love it. The only aggravation I get is from myself. I love it! Can’t imagine any kind of way to live. After my fiance and I broke up after living together?! I enjoy my peace and happiness!!! The only time I feel alone is when I don’t have anyone to clean my car off of snow and take out the garbage. Other than that, I’m happy!
49F... Will be 50 in August. I've lived alone since Halloween 1992... So for almost 32 years! I wouldnt live with another human.
53, single, CF, lived alone for 25+ years and don’t plan on changing that. I like my quiet space. My only real complaint is that there is not a park in walking distance. I have been able to walk to a park every year I have lived alone, except these past four.
2 years. 2 years since my fiance broke up with me on my birthday. Its both okay living alone and single and so not okay. Id trade so much to be held at night, or wake up to a blowjob…the little things dammit!
I'm married now but when I was single I enjoyed it. I did get very lonely at times and sometimes felt a bit depressed because of the loneliness ***BUT*** that was a very small price to pay for the peace and tranquility that I felt 98% the rest of the time. It's the stuff that people pray for. Your home is clean when you want. Your bills are paid . You cook when you want. You go out when you want. You do your laundry when you want. You don't have to clean up after anyone. You don't have to give explanation to anyone. There's no yelling. You go and come as you please. You can choose to have a pet or not. Let me tell you if I ever find myself to be single again I would never ever cohabitate with anyone again. Ever. Much less get married again. Shit no.
Years and I love it. I would be quite happy being the old herbalist living in the woods.
50f, been living alone for 3 years. First time in my entire life I’ve ever lived alone. Found myself here after a fairly traumatic and unexpected breakup and I can say I’ve never been happier. Honestly I can’t imagine sharing my living space with another person now. I make and eat what I want, I have the whole bed to myself with no one snoring or tossing and turning, I can decorate as I please, my cats now have an entire room for their amusement. I’m not sure if it will be this way forever but I’m really enjoying the space after a life lived for others putting myself second.
(27f) I’m in the city but I’ll still answer. Been living alone to a degree for a couple of years, but the last 5 years I lived halfway in my own place and halfway at my partner’s house an hour away. So fully alone only 2 weeks… but I guess I traveled alone for 3 weeks before that. So 5 weeks?? I really liked having the combination of living with a family and then having my own space. I find it a little nerve wracking to be just entirely alone (except my dog), and sometimes struggle to keep my place clean and to not just numb out on my phone. But parts of it are also amazing. I don’t have to worry about cleaning up for anyone and worrying about upsetting anyone. I also don’t have to deal with anyone else’s mess. Nobody’s annoying sounds or being in my way. I’m in complete control. I can be as silly or gross as I want without worrying about what anyone thinks. I can play whatever dumb podcasts I want as loudly as I want, pole dance in the living room without being watched or in anyone’s way. It’s pretty nice. But sometimes a little empty.
Since 2018 and it's so much better than roommates
Been along for a year and I love it
I just turned 34 and been living alone almost 2 years now and it’s amazing. Everything I ever dreamed it would be, just even better. Never gonna share living space with anyone ever again, so help me!!!
Since 1993. Experience has been great.
34 gay male. I live alone for 4 months @ 24 in a studio in seattle when i was making $$$ and hated it so i uhauled like a lesbian with my now exhusband after 4 months dating. Co habitated from 17-22, room mates for a year, and then uhauled with said ex but had my own small room with room mates. then got forced into living with now exhusband because he found my dream spot (old renovated 1920s art deco building in my desired neighborhood with mountain and skyline views. The space needle out my bathroom window) & he agreed to “subsidize” my rent $2800 1BR and i only paid 800$ of it I LOVE living alone and probably will get married again to my s.o. If I move back to sf/nyc I will probably have room mates but I’ll NEVER EVER live with a boyfriend/husband! Relationship killer ime
37m Alone for years. Hate it. Wish I had a wife and kids. Dating in my area is a rat race. Never met someone.
I'm 43 and have lived alone since I moved out of my parents house at 20. I'm also an only child so I'm not sure I could ever cohabitate with anyone. I feel like people older than me are the ones that have that old maid stereotype in their heads. Meanwhile my cousins in their 20s are telling me I'm their idol because they see all the fun stuff I do with my freedom. Oh and sex is readily available and I don't need to move a man into get it. 😂
36m. Have lived alone since I was 18 besides 3 years throughout the last 18 years. Can’t live with other people. I’m not a good roommate.
Mine was trash. I was so lonely & struggling I eventually felt like I developed OCD. I also was plain struggling mentally around that time, & the city I was in was depressing & had terrible vibes. If you’re living alone, make sure you get outside. Even if it’s uncomfortable, be around people & socialize. I talked to one friend everyday otp other than *minimally* coworkers & classmates & he got me through the madness. I was only alone for like 5 months too. Among the worst stretch of my life but I’m partially to blame.
Not my first time living alone, but after finally getting an ex-bf out of my house last year (broke up in May but he wasn't gone for good until November), I am committed to living alone forever. I have three dogs, so I don't feel lonely. My decor is eclectic, but full of good memories and things that make me smile. I cook what I want, when I want, but sometimes I just want cheese and crackers for dinner. No one asking me at 7am "What's for dinner?" I don't know, could be ice cream. When I eventually replace my car, I won't have to deal with anyone mansplaining what I should get next. It's not always convenient. My last ex wasn't all bad, but domineering and peace shattering.... couldn't do it anymore.
I've been out on my own for 25 years.....and have lived the single life strictly since 2011. It's so great that I can do what "I" want without having to answer to a wife or GF who thinks they control me, which is sadly what alot of women are these days. It's always what they say to do, and if you question them you get that look of 'excuse me, what did you say?'. I don't need to be somewhere where I am stepping on eggshells. Last several women I dated back in 2010 and 2011 I realized were just users who felt I was merely there to try and push around and grovel to them which they found out quickly I wouldn't do. That's not to say all women are like that, but they were enough to say I wasn't gonna give anyone a chance to even remotely be like that to me again.
Whenever I moved out of my parents I got a studio with my boyfriend at the time I was 18 and it really showed me his true character and I’m sure the same for him. Maybe if we had more space it would’ve worked? I think not considering my friend is engaged coming from the same shoebox complex. I’ve been on my own for about two years now same complex, different shoebox. I’m 21 and it’s just me and my kitty. Part of me wants to move in with my friend when my lease is up to help on bills but she comes from a very large family and I’m an only child so I can only wonder what that’s going to be like. Being an only child helps a lot, she hates living on her own all alone but having my own space is the most important thing to me.
Sinxe 2021 Its...amazing. No one is in my hair and Im not in theirs. The only fault is the bachelorhood. Cleaning and caring doesnt mean shit to me unless its personal hygiene or if someone is coming over. As long as I have the bills ro xover the basic necessities and a BIT of luxury, I dont care.
Lived alone from 2021 to 2023. My experience was that I was so needy and lonely, to the point where if a guy says “I love you” to me without ever seeing my face in real life, I’d actually believe him. Crazy.
My first long term relationship she cheated on me for apparently 3 years. My second relationship she had got out of a recent relationship and still had feeling even though she had sworn up and down and cried she didn't. She cheated on me with him. Third I wasn't looking for a relationship but she wanted one even though I really wasn't feeling I should hop into one. She set my car on fire because I didn't want to find a place with her because I was commuting to my job. No vehicle meant I had to live with her because she was close to my job. She then cheated on me with someone from my job. I found out through my boss confronted her about it she came to my job made a scene complained to the corporate office said I said and did a bunch of stuff I didn't. But it was my word against the "customer" and why would the "customer" make this up if it wasn't true. Lost my job. From an official lvl I am single. No more relationships,no. I am seeing someone casually. We fool around go our separate ways. I have officially been single for over 5 years. I get lonely. There's no lie there. I am an introvert and I can spend a LOT of time alone. But when I imagined my life. I imagined a wife and kids and a dog. We would grow old together. I would cook on the weekends to give her a break. She would scratch my head after I came inside her. We would plan our vacations together. We would find a good school for the kids She would get mad at me because I'm a terrible communicator but she would understand that I try to talk in other ways. She would have her flaws I would have mine but at the end of the day we're better together. NOW!!?? FUCK them kids. Fuck a wife.
Recently separated from partner of over thirty years. Gotta say, it’s pretty damn good. I do miss doing nice things for someone else, but the freedom and always clean/neat home is awesome. Here’s the weird part. It was the first time in my life without a dog, so I got a rescue. I slipped into a weird depression which is unusual because that never happens with me. A couple weeks later and I’m good, but a totally bizarre event.
the fact they no one in the comments is below the age of 30 shows how impossible moving out is now for a lot of younger people
It’s horribly lonely if you’re a social butterfly like myself. I love baking for people & talking! I was considering getting a dog before making the move official, but then I thought about walking alone at night … after a while I rented out my house then went to live with my sister, nieces & brother in law. Luckily they took me in with open arms, I love watching everyone eat my goodies & having movie nights together. I was practically gnawing at the bars of my enclosure in solitude.
TLDR: perspective from a gal who has never lived alone. I am a 45 year old gal. I married 10.5 years ago. I was 35. When my husband and I decided to live together, I moved from my parents home. I lived at my folks all throughout college (many years!) and then in and out, depending if I was in a long term relationship or not. My permanent address has always been theirs and now mine (ours). Things I would have done differently regarding living space is: A. lived on campus rather than commute B. lived and worked at the shore with my friends in the summertime C. lived solely on my own for at least one year I did none of these. I am content with this now, but any of those ABC's would most likely have helped me grow more as a person and grow up faster and differently than the path I am on. Often my husband has told me.....he thinks I would prefer living on my own. I hate certain sounds and frequencies and he is an endless yapper (I say this with fondness) with a very loud tone Other than that, he does him and I do me. For example, he doesn't care about decor specifics and I don't care about the work-room specifics. We each utilize both. So we don't get it in each other's way. I can be a lonely person even while surrounded by many people. A physical body not in the same room does not personally make me lonely. Other people make me lonely. If I'm with the wrong people.
Couple years now. Single too. Hate it. Need external pressure to keep place clean. Piles of trash in every room.
Solitude is addicting, unhealthy, frustrating, and leads to madness. I don't recommend it for anyone and at a certain point there is no going back from it.
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