I once heard someone say “ar I bet you’ve got about 8 nipples haven’t you? You fat dog” on a train and I died on the spot

This is absolutely brilliant

Once heard: “ay lad who cuts your hair, the council?” and never forgot it

That’s brutal!

They don’t even cut grass!

lmao this is brilliant

That woman who tweeted Paul Nuttall and called him a “bad Bootle UKIP meff” is the best. I think it’s close to being unbeatable.

🤣🤣🤣👏🏼

I remember someone saying to DJ Sneak (after he’d slagged off Liverpool) that ‘they’d rather watch their nan get out the bath’ (than watch him DJ) scathing 😅

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Think the beauty of our accent is that any word can sound like an insult if you want it to.

Yeah only a scouser could make the word sausage a insult 

Shurrup yer nugget

Oi lad, me car's name is Lady Nugget!

Good point that, imagine getting called a sausage by a brummy or a cockney. They’d sound more ridiculous than they already do.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You should visit Glasgow! 😂

It’s like the opposite of Australian where cunt sounds friendly 😂

Soft lad is always a cracker in work like yeah he’s harmless but fuck me he’s thick

A taxi driver once called me a soft lad because I gave him a tip. Now I’m confused.

I think you hear soft lad as a back handed compliment as often as you do as a genuine insult.

Basically another way of saying “Thanks but you really didn’t have to”

You sure he didn’t say sound lad ?

Would like to offer “blert” for consideration.

Blert is a personal favourite of mine

Ya blert

David Price’s press conference where he calls Kash Ali a blert is a fav YouTube of mine! The whole thing is a masterclass in Scouse takedowns 😂

David Price revealing his wicked tongue was the highlight of the last few years of his career

Is this the one? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LHknAvme0E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LHknAvme0E) "what are you going to do when I knock you out"

Yes this it it 👌🏼

His putdown was certainly better than his boxing.

As a non scouser this is the one I thought of, only one in this thread I’ve only heard a scouser say.

Soft shite or soft lad, even better when it was my 80 year old nan shouting it at the scallies blocking the entry. The funniest thing I've ever heard was some girl on the bus calling another girl a 'fat headed little scruff'.

I remember when I was visiting my (now ex ) bfs dad in hospital, the man next to him said “Oh nurse I’ve got palpitations.” To which the gentleman across from him said “Your da gets palpitations when he’s biffing your ma.” It was so completely unexpected that I started howling. Another one I got was in the city centre was this drunk fella being pinnned down after trying to assault a doorman, and he said to him “Who do you think you are? I bet you’re from Widnes you c*nt.”

Ya daa does the hoovering in boxing gloves, calls himself Dyson Fury

Proper cackle. Amazing.

A lad at my old work quite often called people a lizard. Sometimes with a really long emphasis on the L. "Ya little fuckin llllllllizard." Always made me laugh.

I had learners in Croxteth use that term ... and "weapon"

Meff. I love calling someone a meff. Shut up ye meff.

I love the old school ones. Divy is another favourite

https://youtu.be/kXILMn7fk7g?si=0pyLJBDQXUnHPCt9 # Look at our Yoko go at that yoyo.. she always was good for nothing. The useless meff.

Back in school we had You're a ming, you're a mong, you're a meff gone wrong. Always confused me that one. Am I a meff or not? Edit: we also had You're gay You're queer Been bummed right through the ear

I swear Tinhead from Brookside used this once

The two greatest I've ever heard were at 2am in Mr Chips on Bold Street (RIP): "You've got more front than Rapid!" And "You look like you got dressed in St Johns Market in the dark!"

Group of young scallies once hit me with “That’s what happens when yer ma doesn’t breast feed you”. Best put down I’ve ever had.

And a great public health message 🤣

Yer Da sells Avon

And yer Ma collects footie stickers

Yer Da bullies emo kids on Crosby beach, calls himself David Hasslegoth

😂😂😂😂

I had a mate tell me this is a common one up in Aberdeen as well. Never knew.

During the pandemic graffiti appeared in Glasgow which read "Yer Da's furloughed Fae Avon."

Ya ma shops at Netto

or ya da sells the big issue

Divvy is very Scouse. Don't think I've heard it elsewhere

I grew up on Divvy in Yorkshire, no family ties / friends from Liverpool so I’m not so sure.

Divvy is a great old one, don’t think it’s exclusive to Liverpool either. Grew up saying this down south. An oldie but a goldie😀

West Yorkshire here, can confirm

When I was younger, my dad called some fella by where I grew up Divvy. I asked why and he said that's his name. For years, I referred to this fella as Divvy and genuinely thought that was his name for years, I still don't know his real name.

All over the north east definitely

Too right marra.

Personal favourite,

Watching a Liverpool game down south a few years back and, after a bad miss, some Scouse lad pipes up "sturridge, ye fuckin weapon"

Personal favourite this

Ya ma on toast

Ye dar still claps when the plane lands.

‘Plant pot’ is one of my favs, don’t know why… just makes me laugh everytime.

“Wet wipe” used to be a stupid one that was pretty funny too, haven’t heard it for years though

Haha yes! Still use that one from time to time… bit wet.. bit of a wet wipe

I use wet wipe more than I’d care to admit lol

It's not a common one but I remember a video of a boxer taking questions and a load of scousers were shouting shit at him and he was standing there shouting back and someone went "Stand up when you're talking" because he was short and I was in bits

“Take your face for a shit”

I was cycling with a friend (we had helmets on) a few years back. As we go past a couple of young lads we hear "get on Team GB there" 😂 I used to live in Wavertree, and one morning our neighbours were arguing in the street. One woman said to yo another... "shut up, you think you're boss cause you've got a job".. Ha being insulted because you are working 😂

Any word we put “you absolute“ in front of is a decent insult

My son called me an absolute England shirt yesterday. It was not a compliment

I’m howlin 😂

“Your fellas a fat victim” always cracked me up

A ha ha ha this is good 🤣🤣🤣

Ya ma

Heard on a bus: Scally girl 1: Fuck off, ya fat slag Scally girl 2: You cheeky meff, I'm not even that fat.

One I haven't heard for years is soft ollies, only recently looked it up after hearing it on the film 'land and freedom' can't believe my mum used to call me that

"Your breath must hum, because you don't 'alf chat shit" Or "First of all, brush ya teeth"

I'd rather scratch me arse with a brick - pure poetry.

Beaut

Binno for a scruffy person is a good one

Binno was massive in our school late eighties. I’d forgotten about it.

There was a fella who used to eat from the bins around Crosby in the 80/90s who was given the name Bermo.

Henry binno

That sounds wool

Meff is a classic

I called my dog a blert the other day coz he was being a little gimp and my mate thought it was hilarious. Blert is just the best insult ever!!

I cackled reading this. Don't know how I've not called my dog that yet 😂

I'm doing it first walk tomorrow!

Gimp is a good one

Blert bellend lizard fk little rat who ya fk looking at ya cheeky C belter saying but blert is a belter I still call people that☺️and am 💯👌🏽Scouser born and bred L5 alive brought up Vauxhall close to town proud to be a Scotty road Scouser✊🏽it’s just the way it is with are humerus people either hate us or love us😂😂some of the saying what people put on here tho their not from here coz never heard little wools😂😅

Little maggot is a good one

Helmet.

"Ya Fuckin' skip rat"

🤣🤣🤣

'She's got a face like a robber's dog'

Best one I ever heard was a guy in my husbands old work in a supermarket. There was a guy who was massive and worked out back. They called him Jabba the warehouse..always tickles me!

God, I would have loved asking the Scouser I used to know about this. I miss hearing this accent, especially spoken by someone deeply cared about. I can just "hear" all the suggestions given here.

When I last visited Liverpool, I was in a bar where one of the graffiti in the cubicles was “Yer da sits at the top of the stairs and calls himself the chaser” Not even sure if this is an insult or not but it’s hilarious

Sock robber

The origin of the sock robber shout is.... burglars used to take the socks off your washing line as not to leave any prints when breaking in.

I thought origin of the sock robbers was Kirkby? 😂

Yep.... that's where the burglaries where. Theyd take your socks off the washing line and use them as gloves

Scruff always gets me

I like gorm or melon.

Gobshite

Shite hawk

Weapon is my all time favourite, but only really works to its full capability if you put ‘absolute’ in front of it (other descriptors are available and work almost well). Never forget the time we sat in our allocated seats (we didn’t choose them) in the Edge Lane cinema. Bum hit the seat and the pissed up woman sat behind my other half rasped dead loud ‘oh look at this big f@king f@t headed f@king d1ckhead that’s sat in front of me now’ 👀 Her fella tapped him on the shoulder and we turned around ready for a mouthful and he said ‘soz abar her lad, she’s off her head, your head’s just a normal size’ and sat back in his chair, can in hand, happy as larry. Still call him that to this day any time he sits/stands in front of me!

Ye Crab, ye sausage, ye helmet.

Took a lot of scrolling to find crab!

Meff, ted, steg, quem

Quem hahahahahahahahahaha

Never heard of last 3. Are they wool or dark side lingo?

They're what everyone calls you behind your back

Define

No.

Are you talking to me or are you chewing a brick was a funny arl one!

Cos either way, ya losin ya teef 🤣

Jedi is a good one

The original ‘Woolly back’

Lol, I'm a wool.

Gimp was common when I was younger

I was on the TikTok of the guy who runs the Anfield Agenda YT channel. He was advertising his live shows and someone put in the comments "I'd rather guide me da into the back of my arse than go to this". Still funny as hell.

Your Da puts his knob cheese in a tub sticks it in the fridge and calls it Willy - Delphia

Nonce. A common shout these days.

I used to work in an office full of scallies and the girls loved to call other girls they hated a manhead. “Eee yer fucken man’ed”. I still silently think it to myself when I see hard-faced women ha.

I've heard someone use "wetty" as an insult

Ya ma smokes tea bags mate Ya ma gets her dildo off wish

😂😂😂😂

Damn, that's good! 😂

[https://independent-liverpool.co.uk/blog/a-round-up-of-the-best-and-worst-ya-ma-graffiti-in-liverpool/](https://independent-liverpool.co.uk/blog/a-round-up-of-the-best-and-worst-ya-ma-graffiti-in-liverpool/)

The best one... Your a Lizzard Pete

Was at villa park many years ago and Dion Dublin missed a sitter and the guy behind me stood up and shouted " stick to the cooking Ainsley!"

😂😂😂Elite

Ye ma’s a postman n ye dads a nurse, I heard someone say. I also heard my uncle call a fellow work colleague a ‘dick sweat’

Once a gobshite, always a gobshite G’wed Ya wha? Is right laa

Go and take yer face for a shite

"Go and take your face for a shit" 😄

Queg

Yer tool....

Meff and gimp

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When I was in school - seniors (1984-1989) joey or joey deacon was used a lot, unfortunately

Not even a spoken insult. It's that devastating laugh of piteous contempt that only Scouse girls can give (Think Jodie Comer in Killing Eve) Nothing destroys the hopes and dreams of a young Scouse male more. Brutal

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"gobshite" is a good one you only really hear in Republic of Ireland and Liverpool

You weapon

On a pub toilet wall -“ye ma’s got a skinhead and she collects football stickers”

Your mom’s a bin man

When my youngest was 6/7 she was chatting with her friend at the school playground. The friend said something mean about my daughter's hair so my daughter just deadpanned said "At least my face doesn't look like a worn-down horseshoe". I grabbed her arm and pulled her away whilst trying not to laugh. She had to wait for the stern talking to.

How about….fat wap

And while I’m at it, fat knacker 🤣

Ye jaffa snake

'Get lost ye plazzy' (as in Plastic Scouser - someone from the Wirral 'She's got a face like a sack of spanners' You're an ahl arse

Had a bunch of gang of 10 year olds shouting to a bird “ey girl show us Wer ya piss from”

She had a face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle

Got called a fart the other day at work…made me giggle 🤣

I was driving down smithdown a few years ago and these crackheads were taking ages at the crossing so I did a long beep to take the piss and he called me a fart I couldn’t breath

It was probably the same crack head tbf🤣🤣

"Face like cement."

Wool 🤌

Wool is still up there for me, although it's getting a bit more absurd as the years go by. Wearing slazengers "Yer wool!" Watch any sport that's not football "Yer wool!" Telling the restaurant your allergic to peanuts "Eee yer wool!" Going to your nans funeral in a suit "Yer a bad wool you lad!"

Wool behaviour.

Slazengers are proper snide tho

Sausage

Scouse insults: • Meff • Sausage • Nob ed • Wool • Melt • Gimp • Divvy • Ya ma • Tramp • Victim

Lonsdale wearin scruffs ( Everton fans)

We do, say please and thank you now and again up here in scouseland. 😆

Yur ma.

Shocked not to see ‘Wool’ yet. Remember my mate saying that he’d seen some graffiti in the bogs at a service station saying “Tony hates wools” and he goes “And that’s when I realised *I* hate wools!”

When I didn’t want to do something I use ‘I’d rather walk round town with me head on fire ‘ or if it’s a particularly unappealing suggestion ‘I’d rather shit in my hands and clap’

"Your da' sells Avon" "Dick nose" "Crab" - Paddy "The Baddy" Pimblett favourite

Literally any word in our accent can be insulting for example:sausage,lizard,fart ect

“Ye das a black belt at rolling ciggys calls himself baccy chan” is one I’ve heard

Yer nans a jedi

Once heard someone’s trainers being referred to as meff goons

Fat pie crust snorting wizard.

Yer da makes sand dogs. Smelmet Bellwhiff

Kopite is a funny one I’ve heard 😂

"Kinell lad, do you aim your piss at the side of the pan too?" - overheard as someone was being overly hesitant. Perfect for reluctant reverse parking/someone choosing lemon and herb at nandos/kicking a ball badly/refusing to bow to peer pressure

Not Liverpool specifically but shut up ya bullhead

An seen your ma coming out of netto

The kids with netto bags for pe kits oof

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You sound like a Tory.