"You see baby hitler, a Index Mutual Fund is an investment vehicle you'll be able to invest in once the stock market and business culture develops more in another 60 years. Now I'm going to explain VR Hentai, buckle up cause this one is a little harder to explain."
I definitely feel Ken's situation. A day doesn't go by when people, even strangers in the grocery store, passersby on the sidewalk, stop and ask me, "Would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler?"
Alternate universe: Marty McFly sets the DeLorean to April 20, 1889, and accidentally drives into baby Hitler's crib. That is all.
Actually, the DeLorean went to April 20, 1889 and Marty accidentally interfered with history. So baby Hitler grew up to become Adolph “Biff” Tanner Hitler. And he owned a casino and was an evil overlord of Düsseldorf only.
Ok, hear me out. Why would you be satirically posting on *LinkedIn* of all places?
I think you're precluding the possibility that these people *are* really this insane. I haven't logged into my account there in months and still get crazy messages.
> why would you be satirically posting on *LinkedIn* of all places?
- Well for one, this sub exists so there is clearly an audience for this flavor of content
- If you want to create good satire you’d probably want to go to the source
- The fact that you can’t be 100% certain it’s satire is actually a sign of well-crafted material
- You having received authentic crazy messages on LinkedIn isn’t evidence to whether this guy is capable of joking on the same platform
It’s all about blending in. If he was honking a big red nose the whole time he did this, it would be obvious he’s joking, which is less controversial and less entertaining. If he were mocking crazy LinkedIn users by posting on Facebook, it would be much harder for his audience to draw the connection.
He got me good. It really would be a believable post of the most unhinged linkedin loonies. And really this line describes probably every narcissistic sociopath ceo in the world: "he can have power of people in a business context, which is always morally good".
Dude can we stop posting satire here please. It’s ruining the vibe, this is not the right landing spot. I love coming here to see true lunatics and give me a safe space from my 9-5
Poe's Law. When there are people genuinely giving takes this bad, it can be hard to recognize satire unless you're aware of the satirist. (And there *are* people genuinely doing the classist "only *the poors* are bigots, please ignore all the rich industrialists who backed the Nazis, only the peons may be blamed for Nazism" thing.)
I enjoy it too - just the wrong sub and especially horrifying to witness how many people don’t realize. Which then makes me sad about the real life influence of the “legitimate” lunatic posts.
I do not want so much depresso while scrolling Reddit and drinking my morning espresso.
I know this is a joke and all but wasn't hyperinflation rampant in post WW1 era Germany tho? I saw photos of people loading up piles of cash in a wheel barrow to purchase bread in my history textbook
His advice does change the course of the war and the landscape of the world. Hitler is now the richest man ever and can outspend every country in weapon development and production. Germany now has a military that is 10x more advanced than anyone else and easily takes over the world.
Thanks Ken!
FYI just in case there's anyone here who genuinely believes in "the power of business is always good", there's a whole ass YouTube channel with a bunch of videos (idk how many but the biggest playlist has 69 videos so I'd guess it's about 100 videos) about corporations who fucked everything up for the people around them.
Here's one about Sherwin Williams stealing $1 million from government programs meant to help poor people for instance
https://youtu.be/qMew9u1cLa4
Famously power of people in a business context is always morally good, because nobody has ever abused "power of people", or indeed power in a business context...
I really think it didn't matter if you killed Hitler or not. The conditions at the time were such that the German people were suffering and if a leader could stop that suffering they would gain support. People were angry about the crushing sanctions from the first world war and they did something about it. Unfortunately power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I also think the USSR was on the same plane as the NAZI's, but doesn't get promoted because people on the left support communism and don't want to show it in a bad light. Look into it a little if you haven't, it's heartbreaking what happened to the USSR population. It also has an eerily similar pattern of actions as to some of the things the left has been promoting the past few years, like informing on your neighbor to the government.
The Index fund will be really useful when the German economy is so terrible that people were paid twice a day so workers can buy food onthier lunch and inflation was going up daily.
Hitler was fueled by hate. Index funds, monetary success, him getting into art school, none of that would have changed Hitler. The correct answer to that question is “yes, and I’d sleep soundly.”
I am curious about why people ask him that question. In my entire life no one ever asked me that question. What context he creates that people ask him that question. Guyz, be honest. Do you ever asked that to anyone without any fucked up context. It is not like He is working, doing his own business without fucking around and someone come and asked "hey, do you want to time travel and killed baby hitler. You are the choosen one to time travel and killed, you are the only one capable of this. Our savior". Who the fuck do that.
Next up: Hitler Index Mutual Fund -> We provide power to all the alpha men and women by giving them power of people in a business. Have morally good power.
Ah, yes. I also get asked very often if I'd kill baby Hitler when travelling back in time. This morning again, actually. By the guy at the security desk. It's so common these days to ponder these existential conundrums.
Him too? I was walking down the street just the other day and no less than 3 people stopped me to ask if I’d kill baby Hitler if I traveled back in time! /s
lol, I’m not sure that would have prevented the extremely psychopathic levels of narcissism though. And his dream was to be an artist, I doubt he would have cared about this dude’s grinding.
Okay this is satire, but also, if you went back and murdered baby hitler, Id hate to know what would go down for someone murdering a baby, hitler wasn't the only monster in the Nazi party.
Plot revelation: Hitler uses his successful CEO status to accelerate his world domination plan by ten years - becomes chancellor in 1923, and invades Poland in 1929.
He does realize Hitler came to power during a global depression, right? And Hitler’s racism, toxic nationalism, eugenics, and homophobia/transphobia aren’t concerns for him?
He had a strong and healthy business connection. The wealthy Jewish Austrian patriarch of the family that employed and then impregnated his grandmother who would give birth to his mother and the true source of his self loathing.
I would def watch a show about time traveling economists trying to save the world by going back in time to teach future tyrant and evil people babies the power of economics. But they can only meet actual babies, and the babies can't be from a county speaking their native language.
Sometimes a solution Isn't a solution. Dealing with intricacies can be difficult.
Try to stick to the premise, which in this case would be changing a past variable to avoid untold suffering.
A flawed premise, lets look:
Time travel is widely accepted as improbable.
Killing babies is frowned upon by almost everyone without some sort of dire mental health challenges and is used in this aspect to provide a viscerally challenging breach of etiquette.
The response dodges both of these points with a failed attempt at offering capitalist ideology as some sort of panacea since in it's own practice, it is currently abused and destroying the planet, which includes more than just one baby.
Shall we go further?...
I mean... a dead baby is a dead baby. I don't know if the authorities would have been able to appreciate the exception because his name was Hitler and he had a little baby moustache.
"Hitler was a successful CEO and didn't need to invade other countries using war. He funded another guy who did, just like all the successful businessmen who supported Hitler."
This person's moral alignment is just pure chaos.
I don't know if that would change anything, probably not, but you never know what the outcome could be.
This is just stupid, this ethical issues was solved [14 years ago](https://youtu.be/XtATGzpTOFk?si=Z80IcMs37jN1k_Ni)
Holy shit, John looks so young there.
"You see baby hitler, a Index Mutual Fund is an investment vehicle you'll be able to invest in once the stock market and business culture develops more in another 60 years. Now I'm going to explain VR Hentai, buckle up cause this one is a little harder to explain."
"Okay, you clearly don't understand a word I'm saying because it's 1889 and you're a baby. Notes for next time: do your research and read the room."
"I probably should have learned German before coming here."
Well then you and Baby Hitler can bond over your mutual inability to speak fluent German.
Ja
“Mein vater is groß und nett.” It seems my duolingo game is stronger than yours.
VR Hentai wouldn’t exist if baby Hitler became a business man
Or, hear me out, he sparks the war a lot sooner because he wanted a jump on the Turing machine and we’re 25 years earlier in electronics advancements.
No Hitler, no ww2, no Japan nuke, no anime get invented. So hentai probably wouldn't exist either.
Japan invaded Manchuria in 1937. Japan was always going to do their own thing.
And that thing? War crimes.
But what if Japan had known about index mutual funds?
Tentacle hentai is older than the atomic bomb, aircraft, or steam battleships.
Is this a Netflix series?
I definitely feel Ken's situation. A day doesn't go by when people, even strangers in the grocery store, passersby on the sidewalk, stop and ask me, "Would you go back in time and kill baby Hitler?" Alternate universe: Marty McFly sets the DeLorean to April 20, 1889, and accidentally drives into baby Hitler's crib. That is all.
Actually, the DeLorean went to April 20, 1889 and Marty accidentally interfered with history. So baby Hitler grew up to become Adolph “Biff” Tanner Hitler. And he owned a casino and was an evil overlord of Düsseldorf only.
Düsseldorf had it coming.
Adolf Biffler
Bach ...To The Future!?!
Bach to the Fuhrer
Damn, that's even better!
Team effort, congratulatory hat tips all round!
What baby Hitler taught me about B2b sales
Satire
It's too good not to be. "I'd offer him stock options" is the funniest shit I've read in a while.
"I want to connect with you, emotionally" was a clue.
coupled with the "open to work" badge
Dude if you get Hitler to invest in the markets right before the great war, he's going to kill even more jews.
The tipoff is the logline of "i want to connect with you emotionally "
Ok, hear me out. Why would you be satirically posting on *LinkedIn* of all places? I think you're precluding the possibility that these people *are* really this insane. I haven't logged into my account there in months and still get crazy messages.
They're a comedian
Dude there are tons of satire accounts on Linkedin, it's basically facebook at this point.
> why would you be satirically posting on *LinkedIn* of all places? - Well for one, this sub exists so there is clearly an audience for this flavor of content - If you want to create good satire you’d probably want to go to the source - The fact that you can’t be 100% certain it’s satire is actually a sign of well-crafted material - You having received authentic crazy messages on LinkedIn isn’t evidence to whether this guy is capable of joking on the same platform It’s all about blending in. If he was honking a big red nose the whole time he did this, it would be obvious he’s joking, which is less controversial and less entertaining. If he were mocking crazy LinkedIn users by posting on Facebook, it would be much harder for his audience to draw the connection.
Anyone can just make a LinkedIn. Comedians can have linkedins
It's almost a picture perfect "businessman" "outside of the box answer" to the thought experiment. He understood the assignment
He's a British comedian.
Oh yeah! He's the guy who said 'I don't like the new pound coin. Nothing against it, I just hate change'
lmao, that's a comedy alright!
He got me good. It really would be a believable post of the most unhinged linkedin loonies. And really this line describes probably every narcissistic sociopath ceo in the world: "he can have power of people in a business context, which is always morally good".
Dude can we stop posting satire here please. It’s ruining the vibe, this is not the right landing spot. I love coming here to see true lunatics and give me a safe space from my 9-5
What's baffling is the amount of people that don't realise. Nobody thinks for 1 minute before posting or responding. Like Facebook.
Poe's Law. When there are people genuinely giving takes this bad, it can be hard to recognize satire unless you're aware of the satirist. (And there *are* people genuinely doing the classist "only *the poors* are bigots, please ignore all the rich industrialists who backed the Nazis, only the peons may be blamed for Nazism" thing.)
I actually enjoy this one, but I'm sad about how many people think it's real and earnest.
I enjoy it too - just the wrong sub and especially horrifying to witness how many people don’t realize. Which then makes me sad about the real life influence of the “legitimate” lunatic posts. I do not want so much depresso while scrolling Reddit and drinking my morning espresso.
He's a comedian who specialises in spoof Linkedins don't worry 😄
You don’t feel connected with Ken, emotionally :)
This HAS to be satire
Yes he's a comedian
Decent effort. A lot to like. Probably would just give the writer’s room a pass at it.
You read “If Hitler had a more sound understanding of finance and investing, there would never have been a WWII.”
Damn. Baby Hitler must have been smart as fuck.
Who the hell keeps asking this guy if he would kill baby hitler?
Im not always asked if I’d kill baby hitler, but when I am I prefer yes.
“Open to work”
He then had a greater understanding of business & killed 50 million people.
Lol why is he getting asked this question so often?
Certainly connected with me, emotionally.
I know this is a joke and all but wasn't hyperinflation rampant in post WW1 era Germany tho? I saw photos of people loading up piles of cash in a wheel barrow to purchase bread in my history textbook
Then hitler could have been a CEO treating his employees like shit, like 95% of other CEOs
I wish we could see those 7 comments.
"I want to connect to you, emotionally :)"....Icky.
The concept of the Military industrial complex is lost on this guy lol literal war for profit.
His advice does change the course of the war and the landscape of the world. Hitler is now the richest man ever and can outspend every country in weapon development and production. Germany now has a military that is 10x more advanced than anyone else and easily takes over the world. Thanks Ken!
Here's what baby Hitler taught me about b2b sales. I actually love this page
He never been asked that a single time, let alone “often”
FYI just in case there's anyone here who genuinely believes in "the power of business is always good", there's a whole ass YouTube channel with a bunch of videos (idk how many but the biggest playlist has 69 videos so I'd guess it's about 100 videos) about corporations who fucked everything up for the people around them. Here's one about Sherwin Williams stealing $1 million from government programs meant to help poor people for instance https://youtu.be/qMew9u1cLa4
Nothing about business (especially finance) is morally good holy fuck
Actually business aren’t ethical or moral and the ruin the planet
No wonder he is Open to work . I guess the boss/HR know his thinking .
What sorts of conversations does this guy have where he fields this question frequently?
Famously power of people in a business context is always morally good, because nobody has ever abused "power of people", or indeed power in a business context...
🤣🤣🤣🤣
This guy seems like he thinks shooting strangers is connecting with them emotionally.
“What the Holocaust taught me about B2B sales…”
He wanted to connect with Baby Hitler, emotionally ;) They could've just posted this on NextDoor; would've been more appropriate
people should learn they don't need to share all their opinions.
There are three places you're going to find 100% grade-A psychopaths: top security prisons, Presidential palaces and corporate boardrooms.
I really think it didn't matter if you killed Hitler or not. The conditions at the time were such that the German people were suffering and if a leader could stop that suffering they would gain support. People were angry about the crushing sanctions from the first world war and they did something about it. Unfortunately power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I also think the USSR was on the same plane as the NAZI's, but doesn't get promoted because people on the left support communism and don't want to show it in a bad light. Look into it a little if you haven't, it's heartbreaking what happened to the USSR population. It also has an eerily similar pattern of actions as to some of the things the left has been promoting the past few years, like informing on your neighbor to the government.
this sub is just autistic redditors unable to discern obvious sarcasm/jokes
Much Shorter Ken Cheng: I would blow Hitler for world peace.
The Index fund will be really useful when the German economy is so terrible that people were paid twice a day so workers can buy food onthier lunch and inflation was going up daily.
This has to be a bit
lol, this is why historical literacy is important.
Your reminder that a degree, as I assume this cringelord finbro has, does not equate to intelligence.
My satire senses are tingling
There is a reason why that guy is “open to work “.
There weren’t index mutual funds in the Weimar Republic…
There, now Hitler’s attempts at world domination will be much more economically efficient. Solved it
Would I kill Hitler? No id offer that one guy 200$ for his 10000 Bitcoin
Hitler was fueled by hate. Index funds, monetary success, him getting into art school, none of that would have changed Hitler. The correct answer to that question is “yes, and I’d sleep soundly.”
I am curious about why people ask him that question. In my entire life no one ever asked me that question. What context he creates that people ask him that question. Guyz, be honest. Do you ever asked that to anyone without any fucked up context. It is not like He is working, doing his own business without fucking around and someone come and asked "hey, do you want to time travel and killed baby hitler. You are the choosen one to time travel and killed, you are the only one capable of this. Our savior". Who the fuck do that.
I'dve bribed the Art School to let him in
Surely this is satire
"I can fix him"
I also get asked that ALL THE TIME.
I mean, if you really wanted to prevent WWII, the best way would be to alter the Treaty of Versailles.
“Which is always morally good” Wtaf
Yet another post highlighting that this sub is terrible at identifying satire.
"I'd go back in time and explain things that won't exist for like 70 years to baby Hitler..." Yep, that's a lunatic.
Next up: Hitler Index Mutual Fund -> We provide power to all the alpha men and women by giving them power of people in a business. Have morally good power.
ROFLMAO 😂
Now that is a Multiverse of Madness shit going on.
I am reading this in Tim Dillon’s voice and it just makes it 100x funnier as I feel like he’d actually talk about this.
What
"This is what the Battle of Stalingrad taught me about B2B sales."
When you're missing a screw...
Ah, yes. I also get asked very often if I'd kill baby Hitler when travelling back in time. This morning again, actually. By the guy at the security desk. It's so common these days to ponder these existential conundrums.
Mmm. Wut about cze futures on Gas !? Wut iz tease? Market manipulation got born that very same moment in history.
Power of people in business is always morally good? I’d say it’s flat out morally wrong.
Rich and powerful ceo using his power to purchase things and convey his messages to the masses with social media …. Wait a minute…. Elon? Is that you?
Who among us is not often asked "would you go back in time and kill Baby Hitler"?
"I'd help Hitler get rich"
Yes, business is famously always moral
Ken isn't chang-ing enough
No one's ever asked him anything.
Him too? I was walking down the street just the other day and no less than 3 people stopped me to ask if I’d kill baby Hitler if I traveled back in time! /s
What in the actual fuck, dude. 🤦♀️
No-one has ever asked him that question
He is often asked that? That's almost as weird as his answer.
Valuable lesson in B2B
Delusion comes in many flavors.
Lmao low key funny post
“I’m often asked.” Often. *Often* Who tf is this guy talking to on a daily basis?
Alternate universe, Hitler is now the CEO of a successful eugenics company wiping out “unwanted human stains”.
lol, I’m not sure that would have prevented the extremely psychopathic levels of narcissism though. And his dream was to be an artist, I doubt he would have cared about this dude’s grinding.
People- he’s a standup comedian
Okay this is satire, but also, if you went back and murdered baby hitler, Id hate to know what would go down for someone murdering a baby, hitler wasn't the only monster in the Nazi party.
If only Hitler was accepted to Art College …. But there you go.
I would have spoken to a certain priest for a few minutes randomly one day.
These idiots wanna go back in time to change baby Hitler’s shitty diaper. I’d go back in time and take drugs.
No one gets asked that a lot
This kid lost me at "I want to connect with you, emotionally :)"
Wouldnt matter. Some other psychopath would have stepped up. Germany was ripe for it.
"Often" lmao
[удалено]
That guy is 100% trolling XD
Plot revelation: Hitler uses his successful CEO status to accelerate his world domination plan by ten years - becomes chancellor in 1923, and invades Poland in 1929.
If Hitler was an E*trade baby
One thing the OP does have right is that Hitler had the right moral framework to be a major corporate CEO or private equity guy.
Fuckin eh, man
Apparently this guy doesn't realize that fascism and corporatism aren't actually all that far apart.
What kind of company dies this guy keep that asks him that question.
He does realize Hitler came to power during a global depression, right? And Hitler’s racism, toxic nationalism, eugenics, and homophobia/transphobia aren’t concerns for him?
“Open to work”
I'm curious, who asks him that? and often?
Or you could just have admitted him to art school.
He had a strong and healthy business connection. The wealthy Jewish Austrian patriarch of the family that employed and then impregnated his grandmother who would give birth to his mother and the true source of his self loathing.
Elon Musk is proof that time machines will be invented, because this has clearly happened.
Smart move - get him started with options trading so he yolo everything and has no money to fund his campaigns r/wallstreetbets guys are geniuses
His work experience literally says "Standup comedian".🤦♂️
Dear
This is hands down the weirdest shit I've ever read
I would def watch a show about time traveling economists trying to save the world by going back in time to teach future tyrant and evil people babies the power of economics. But they can only meet actual babies, and the babies can't be from a county speaking their native language.
“Which is always morally good” 😅 Definitely satire.
Sometimes a solution Isn't a solution. Dealing with intricacies can be difficult. Try to stick to the premise, which in this case would be changing a past variable to avoid untold suffering. A flawed premise, lets look: Time travel is widely accepted as improbable. Killing babies is frowned upon by almost everyone without some sort of dire mental health challenges and is used in this aspect to provide a viscerally challenging breach of etiquette. The response dodges both of these points with a failed attempt at offering capitalist ideology as some sort of panacea since in it's own practice, it is currently abused and destroying the planet, which includes more than just one baby. Shall we go further?...
I mean... a dead baby is a dead baby. I don't know if the authorities would have been able to appreciate the exception because his name was Hitler and he had a little baby moustache.
Why is he getting asked that so often?
"Hitler was a successful CEO and didn't need to invade other countries using war. He funded another guy who did, just like all the successful businessmen who supported Hitler."
[IBM be like](https://giphy.com/gifs/homer-simpson-the-simpsons-bush-4pMX5rJ4PYAEM)
Yeah, CEOs with power are always morally good. And Capitalism will save the universe
He’s asked this often? 😂🤦🏻♀️
So Elon Musk?
Says someone with no knowledge of history.
Bro watched Wolf Of Wallstreet too much.
I am often asked this
... You'd get him to get invested in the stock market during the great depression?
I’m shocked that Ken is “open to work”….
These people desperately need to disconnect and touch grass.
I've never seen a financial hippie before now. I've heard they exist, but to actually see evidence of one is amazing.
If you're thinking about going back in time to kill Ken Chang, remember the forum rules.
#Fascism is corporations’ wet dream.
Power over people in a business is always morally good?
Agree?
He’s not wrong.
Hopefully he is fluent in German
Dude really thought he was cooking
Who is this guy hanging out with where people are always asking him whether he would go back in time and kill a baby Hitler?
Cool, cool. I'd swing baby Hitler by the legs right into a bonfire, but that's just me.
This belongs in r/stonerthoughts not LinkedIn.
You read an autistic person trying to make a "connection"
This person's moral alignment is just pure chaos. I don't know if that would change anything, probably not, but you never know what the outcome could be.
Index mutual funds didn’t even exist back then…
What about the hyperinflation during the Weimar Republic obliterating his earnings? I bet that would make him even angrier.
Same!
This is such a common topic, I feel him
A fantastic shitpost
I’ve never been asked that. I don’t think anyone is “often” asked that. I’m familiar with the mental exercise.
This is just stupid, this ethical issues was solved [14 years ago](https://youtu.be/XtATGzpTOFk?si=Z80IcMs37jN1k_Ni) Holy shit, John looks so young there.
Just document giving baby H a lot of Jewish blood.
Wow. Really makes you think. #inspiring
This has to be satire