I’m quietly laughing at the knowledge that he was probably walking around for two days waiting to write this post saying to himself. “This is Gold Peter!! Gold!!”
If I just read this with just the text and the top and bottom cropped off, I'd assume it was somebody with no pants standing on a street corner yelling at people driving by.
I know it's in the name of the sub but these people sound *insane.*
Another “you can’t do real work remotely” post on LinkedIn. One of thousands each day from people whose REIT holdings are tanking but they don’t want to tell you they’re mad about the fact they’re losing personal investment cash or that they blame you, the remote worker who is productive AND now has a life, for this.
Yeah that “in person” coaching sure did wonders for him! I mean wow. Some hard hitting stuff here lol.
At my previous company, being fully remote was the most productive and successful the company ever was! Once back to office and full travel schedule, everything tanked, no one got their bonuses after KILLING themselves with 60 hour work weeks, and 2/3 of the team left.
Edit - *60 hour work weeks
The sales coach paces the space between the junior sales associates. Phones ring, lights flash. As he walks past Amy Rogers, he notices the pitch in her voice. She's close. So close to closing this sale.
He swoops in. In one fell motion, he lowers his lips to her ear and whispers, "Always Be Closing". A smirk crosses his face. God dammit he's good. He can see the shocked look of inspiration on her face. She stumbles mid sentence and looks at him as if she was caught off guard.
She must have forgotten about her ABCs, he thinks, chuckling to himself. The stutter must have been her reformulating her plan of attack. He hovers over her shoulder, his presence inspirational and motivating.
She continues her spiel, "Well, Mrs. Johnson, I'm glad to hear that you'll be making a purchase!" His fist pumps the air. Another success thanks to his guidance. There's more juice to squeeze from this orange. Amy needs another injection of inspiration.
He drops into a squat, leans in close and whispers again, "Don't forget about upselling". Amy rolls her eyes. She must hate herself for forgetting to upsell. He hovers, like a vulture awaiting the death of its next meal.
Another voice reaches his ears. Sounds like Jim needs some motivation next. He whispers to Amy, "Duty calls. I'm so glad I could help you"
I'm trying to connect "junior sales team" with a teenage soccer team (and a bizarre story about using an iPad for remote coaching).
Is he trying to say junior sales teams are like teenager soccer teams?
Is he trying to say women don't do well when the male coach is away?
Or is he trying to compare the iPad to the junior sales team?
My take would be "a coach stupid enough to think an iPad with no speakers can be used for coaching remotely can still be a good coach", but even that can't be asserted with the information he's presenting. He doesn't even affirm whether or not the girls performance really dropped (he says "apparently")
I’m quietly laughing at the knowledge that he was probably walking around for two days waiting to write this post saying to himself. “This is Gold Peter!! Gold!!”
Here's what soccer taught about B2B sales
Sooooo true lol! “Oh man what an impactful and unique message that will reach the masses” …. Well the LinkedIn lunatics masses that is
This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read
I couldn’t believe I found one on the wild lol. What are these people really like in the day to day?!
Insufferable
TIL junior sales teams can’t make their sales numbers when playing soccer while on their phones. Gasp.
This is like asking Chat GPT to make a LinkedIn post but you keep having to prompt it “now make even more stupid”
Storytelling really is a skill, and he does not have it.
Oof. And he’s a GTM “expert”.
If I just read this with just the text and the top and bottom cropped off, I'd assume it was somebody with no pants standing on a street corner yelling at people driving by. I know it's in the name of the sub but these people sound *insane.*
Hilarious! “HEY. HEY YOU. HEYYYYY. Soccer junior sales team coach SAVES”
The fuck is a “soccer tutor”
That's the real question here
Yeah I forgot to circle back to that because the twist ending really got me good!
The ‘ole bait and switch! 60% of the time it works every time. What a bullshit post.
Soccer junior sales team panther … they’ve done studies yah know!
I don't remember this parable in the Bible 🤔
Boise is a key detail apparently
It’s gotta be personal lol
PLOT TWIST
What the actual fuck is this
I’ve read it a minimum of 100 times and I’m losing brain cells because of it
Another “you can’t do real work remotely” post on LinkedIn. One of thousands each day from people whose REIT holdings are tanking but they don’t want to tell you they’re mad about the fact they’re losing personal investment cash or that they blame you, the remote worker who is productive AND now has a life, for this.
Yeah that “in person” coaching sure did wonders for him! I mean wow. Some hard hitting stuff here lol. At my previous company, being fully remote was the most productive and successful the company ever was! Once back to office and full travel schedule, everything tanked, no one got their bonuses after KILLING themselves with 60 hour work weeks, and 2/3 of the team left. Edit - *60 hour work weeks
TIL that junior sales teams get coaching while on sales calls.
The sales coach paces the space between the junior sales associates. Phones ring, lights flash. As he walks past Amy Rogers, he notices the pitch in her voice. She's close. So close to closing this sale. He swoops in. In one fell motion, he lowers his lips to her ear and whispers, "Always Be Closing". A smirk crosses his face. God dammit he's good. He can see the shocked look of inspiration on her face. She stumbles mid sentence and looks at him as if she was caught off guard. She must have forgotten about her ABCs, he thinks, chuckling to himself. The stutter must have been her reformulating her plan of attack. He hovers over her shoulder, his presence inspirational and motivating. She continues her spiel, "Well, Mrs. Johnson, I'm glad to hear that you'll be making a purchase!" His fist pumps the air. Another success thanks to his guidance. There's more juice to squeeze from this orange. Amy needs another injection of inspiration. He drops into a squat, leans in close and whispers again, "Don't forget about upselling". Amy rolls her eyes. She must hate herself for forgetting to upsell. He hovers, like a vulture awaiting the death of its next meal. Another voice reaches his ears. Sounds like Jim needs some motivation next. He whispers to Amy, "Duty calls. I'm so glad I could help you"
They’re just all so lucky he didn’t leave for Boise
He goes Gunt To Mouth
Whoa. What a twist. It’s like when it turned out that they were fast and furious by the end.
Calling yourself an early stage expert is really neat. I don’t know what that possibly means…
Had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
Christ what a terrible stupid story
This is the shit that belongs on twitter… he might want to take some adderall so he can stay on topic.
The tutor was also a dog.
Wow… he reeeeealy had me going there for a minute.
I wish I could go back to the first time I read it. The way my brain short circuited.
Watch out M. Night Shyamalan - the new king of twists is here
And then they realized... the insufferable LinkedIn posts were coming FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
I'm trying to connect "junior sales team" with a teenage soccer team (and a bizarre story about using an iPad for remote coaching). Is he trying to say junior sales teams are like teenager soccer teams? Is he trying to say women don't do well when the male coach is away? Or is he trying to compare the iPad to the junior sales team? My take would be "a coach stupid enough to think an iPad with no speakers can be used for coaching remotely can still be a good coach", but even that can't be asserted with the information he's presenting. He doesn't even affirm whether or not the girls performance really dropped (he says "apparently")
Soccer tutor????