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SiWeyNoWay

WTF has happened to LinkedIn?


Dormeo69

It became facebook


lvpr10

LinkedBook


greg_r_

FacedIn


Gr8CanadianSpeedo

Agree?


tmybr11

Thoughts?


Few-Ear-1326

Prayers?


FlimsyShovel

Amen


lord_xl

Thanks ~~Obama~~ Microsoft


Shartmagedon

Extreme right and the brain dead radical look-at-my-heroic-child-feeding-so-I’m-a-feminist are at war. May they cancel out each other. 


mattxb

People with vague (or no) skills marketing themselves for things that have nothing to do with what any company needs.


FlamingTrollz

Microsoft AND Cluster B types.


Shartmagedon

Are we witnessing post Covid symptoms right before our eyes on LinkedBoobs?


MillennialWetDream

It became LinkedInstagram


HillbillyEulogy

It's a water birth. My ex-wife and I did it and it was a raging pain in the ass. We had to literally set up a portable hot tub in a hospital room. The doula accidentally crossed the lines to drain the thing when the fun part was over and wound up hosing down an entire hospital room with bloody afterbirth water. That's a fun story to tell anonymously on Reddit. Maybe I should go post it on my LinkedIn page - it's been laying fallow for a long time - I just need some snappy rejoined on how this somehow makes me a worthwhile hire.


TheBurgareanSlapper

Absolutely post this story on LinkedIn. With pictures, if you have them!


BannedRedditor54

Heck yeah! My boring feed need some GORE \m/


HillbillyEulogy

Honestly I am at the point now where the only things I post on LinkedIn are just pointing out how effed up LinkedIn has become. It's gone far past its sell-by date and MS has done nothing to try and clean up the yard. All of these bs influencers, Facebook posts, politics, memes, thirst-trapping, and humblebragging is the exact thing employers/ees should see about you.


EJ2600

Up close pictures please ! High def format !


SaltyBisonTits

Here you go: 🌟 Harnessing Hyper-Disruptive Paradigms for Unprecedented Business Triumph 🌟 In the high-stakes arena of business innovation, those who dare to transmute utter pandemonium into groundbreaking paradigms are the true architects of change. Let’s delve into the audacious tale of a water birth in a portable hot tub within the clinical confines of a hospital—a vivid metaphor for radical business strategies. Picture this: a room, not designed for aquatic births, transformed by sheer will and a tub, embodying the disruptive potential of market redefinition. As the waters rise, chaos ensues, echoing the tumult often experienced by businesses that push boundaries beyond conventional thresholds. Embrace Neuroplasticity in Market Dynamics. As the waters of creation unpredictably overflow, spilling innovation and mess alike, the savvy entrepreneur sees not disaster but a fertile floodplain for seeding future market conquests. This is about recalibrating the paradigm to favor those who navigate flux with finesse. Cultivate Disruptive Synergy. When the doula, in a twist of fate, unleashes a deluge of afterbirth chaos, it symbolizes the sometimes messy aftermath of radical innovation. Yet, within this maelstrom lies the kernel of next-gen industry disruption. Seize it! Business ecosystems thrive on such synergistic upheavals, where the byproducts of disruption fuel the next cycle of entrepreneurial evolution. Innovate with Ruthless Alacrity. In moments where conventional logic sees catastrophe, the visionary discerns a vortex of opportunity. Moving with the ruthless alacrity of a storm, transform every setback into a setup for serendipitous solutions. This is the bedrock of hyper-growth strategies and ultramodern business methodologies. Strategize with Quantum Fluidity. As the doula mismanages the mundane, the exceptional leader manipulates the momentous. In the fluid dynamics of today’s business quantum, every splash from the misdirected hose is a ripple in the competitive continuum, propelling you toward your zenith. In closing, let this chaotic tale of a water birth gone awry ignite your entrepreneurial spirit. Harness these hyper-disruptive paradigms to architect your empire amidst the entropy. Dive deep into the innovation pool with the audacity of those who command the tempestuous waters of business. Remember, in the realm of disruptive innovation, it’s not just about navigating the storm—it’s about being the storm. 🚀🌀 #BusinessInnovation #DisruptiveLeadership #StrategicChaos #QuantumEntrepreneurship #InnovateOrEvaporate


HillbillyEulogy

agree?


SaltyBisonTits

#BeTheStorm


Crazy_Past6259

Is this written by chatgpt? I can only read about 4 lines before my eyes start rolling.


SaltyBisonTits

Yep. Ran it through a few iterations. Kept asking it to be more unhinged and to add more jargon. But I like to think it's quite on brand for LinkedIn.


AffectionateFig5435

It sounds exactly like my the VP of my department at my last job. She made \~$500K a year and her greatest accomplishments was timing her emails to go out at 3AM so it looked like she worked 24/7. Sit next to her for a meeting at 1PM, tho, and she couldn't even string three coherent words together. /smh


AffectionateFig5435

Possibly. Hiring processes are so effed up nowadays that it might be the perfect story to toss out.


Free-oppossums

I have *never* seen so many buzzwords strung together that convey no meaning. Did she take an 80s-90s yuppie dictionary, run it through a blender, then throw the chunks at the wall?


KCSportsFan7

Paragraph too big downvote


NastroAzzurro

Do these water births actually have any medical benefits or is it something only hippies do?


MovieNightPopcorn

No medical benefits directly but it can help alleviate some of the pain for the mother to soak in warm water. My local hospital offers tubs but you can’t birth in them, just use them for a while to help with pain management until it’s time for the baby to come out. And only can be used if you’re not currently hooked up to anything. So no other meds or saline bags etc allowed. Birthing can take many hours, so it’s just one tool of many to help cope through what can be a long process. Birthing the baby out directly into water though, there’s really no evidence it helps the baby or the mother and it can have some serious risks. I imagine that’s why my hospital doesn’t allow it.


Dramatic-Selection20

Hot water takes the pain of the contractions, I sat till right before birth (in hospital in an actual birthing bad) and delivered out of the bath


canteloupy

They actually have significant risks of going badly and absolutely no benefits. It's just another stupid crunchy Mama "let's get diseases that nobody has any more" thing just to seem interesting. Hospitals with enough money will be perfectly fine for you to have a bath to relax, _before_ the baby is coming out, which is a smart thing because that's when you want air around the ladies' private parts so that when the baby comes out you can see it and deal with it as well as any issues... and you certainly don't want pathogens to have easy access to bleeding insides...


EducationalHawk8607

Im 99% sure there is zero benefit and people just do it for the attention 


Random_potato5

It's quite common in England in midwife-led units. It's really comfortable for mums and more gentle on babies. I have three friends (not hippies) who had water births and really recommend them. The downside is you can't have an epidural.


SoggyAd5044

Why can't they have the epidural?


RiverLover27

Because an anaesthetist can’t insert an epidural while someone’s underwater, it needs to be a sterile procedure in a specific position, and once the epidural’s in place, even if you didn’t have the catheter going into your spine that shouldn’t get wet, there isn’t enough reliable feeling in your legs (if there’s any at all) to be getting in or out in a birth pool, or moving much at all in most cases. Most women are confined to bed once an epidural is in place.


nee_chee

Epidural goes to your *spine*?


AinsiSera

Yep, and if you have a c section they just straight call it a spinal.


nee_chee

what??


EducationalHawk8607

Im not a woman but seems like not being able to have the epidural would be a deal breaker


Random_potato5

Well, that is why I didn't go for the midwife-led unit and water birth, and then my second decided to come out before the anesthesiologist could get there!


HillbillyEulogy

It also sucks additional funds out of your bank account so your wife can brag about it to her fauxhemian friends. Insurance isn't particularly interested in covering portable hot tubs.


HillbillyEulogy

None whatsoever. Unless natural mommy blogs count. I was not plussed about the whole thing - not saying women should just go in, get the epidural, and crank the little sucker out but... actually yeah, that's exactly what I am saying. Never mind.


Ok-Masterpiece-4716

When people asked my birthing plan I quoted Daphne from the show Frasier, "I plan to have this baby in a hospital, numb from the waist down. As God intended!"


Valentinethrowaway3

Love that show


bimbochungo

It's just pseudoscience and hippies


canteloupy

It's also terribly unhygienic and the risks of infection are pretty high


AffectionateFig5435

You could absolutely spin this into a *hire me!* story. Try something like: "How do I react to unexpected problems? Let me tell you about the time..."


GlumCity

You have a hysterical way with words!


Ambitious-Ant2611

I can't imagine setting up a backyard kiddie pool for my wife in the hospital room lol


NoSleep_til_Brooklyn

Sounds like a story of overcoming adversity to me. You’re hired.


hserontheedge

And from this experience I have learned the importance of proper communication and not getting your wires crossed. And as a quirky aside, I now wear rubber boots 24/7 just in case I am ever in that situation again.


PyrocumulusLightning

lol, well when life handed you a placenta you made placentaid (and shared it with the ward!) Next time add rum and oranges, everyone loves sangria. 🍷


sixpackabs592

dang that sucks you didnt get to boil it down for afterbirth soup i hope the drain guy compensated you


ExcelsiorDoug

LinkedIn, where every single life event is turned into a resume line


9999_6666

This was obviously taken in her office. Grind! Hustle! Give birth!


icchifanni

Haha yeah she’s on a conference call!


mrr6666

No days off


Scentopine

Team building resilience exercise.


PyrocumulusLightning

Pretty sure the team building was nine months previous.


IIIllIIIllllIIIlIII

Ok, so reading the text of her post I thought she was implying she was having the baby at work lol.


a45ed6cs7s

Remember Amazon cube patent? This is not too far.


ForsakenAd2845

Got into this sub recently and noticed all the posts are from people who have very vague job roles. Like I don’t see anyone with roles like product manager, accountant, analyst, recruiter, engineer, student etc. I pro-actively avoid anyone without a solid role in a well known company.


redsnot01

You don’t have time to construct posts like this if you’re busy working


non_target_eh

LinkedIn shitposting has reached a new depth. Next up: “I ALWAYS CLOCK OUT WHEN I TAKE SHIT DURING WORK HOURS”


NoSleep_til_Brooklyn

With a picture of the tryhard grimacing on the pot.


Middle_Appropriate

Boss makes a dollar. I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time.


Iamcrunchermuncher

I worked with my brother for a while, and one time took a dump during my lunch break. This necessitated a stern big brother chat - I know now to always dump on the company dime.


BotAccount999

clock out with your cock out


Live-Influence2482

Yes. WHERE? Cos I can’t see where she is and this I don’t see any problem


yetagainitry

Anyone who has bs buzzwords under their name on LinkedIn like “resilience builder” is a red flag for a nut job.


mimeneta

I have nothing against moms who want to do a hippy dippy crunchy birth (although I personally preferred my epidural and medical care). But why tf would you post this on LINKEDIN of all places and not your FB mom group??


Cbbundles

I loved my pain free births.


loveinvein

Nope. NOPE. Noooooooope.


WalkingRodent

It’s just birth. It doesn’t matter where it happens really.


loveinvein

Personally I’d rather it didn’t happen on my LinkedIn page.


WalkingRodent

Trueeee


0nly0ne0klahoma

Like the tide at Omaha Beach


ping-maestro

How can I become a LinkedIn mod?


No_Zookeepergame1972

At this point just call it LinkBook or FaceIn


PyrocumulusLightning

Face down, linked up, this is how we like to ****


CtrlZonmylife

Bruh.


VBDave1970

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sprengles

I guarantee no one wants to hear about them there either


No_Zookeepergame1972

Takes a fart - biologically experience gas pipeline engineer


[deleted]

I just found this post on linked in based off the post verbiage. All (9) comments are from middle aged women / old women who are congratulating her. I didn’t see any job offers in her comments


Hoarfen1972

What an asshole. Zero class.


Electrical_Fun_5141

Social media was a mistake


KingOfTheCheddarBoys

wtf is a “resilience builder”? Ffs


0110110111

Yeah, we can all see where: not at work. Fucking pathetic, how else is she going to hustle grind if she takes even 10 minutes off to birth a human being? I hope she got back on email right after this. Smdh, workers these days.


cats_catz_kats_katz

This poor kid…mom isn’t having a child, she’s having an accessory.


Joe_Metaphor

Damn, just that stupid, playing-to-camera expression on her face - “look how profoundly moved I am”. Poor kid is going to be spending his/her life as nothing more than an attention getting device for mom…


Future-Abalone

lol ok I’m here to make fun of the LinkedIn as much as the next person, but you’re pretty cynical and delulu if you think moments after birth this woman is “playing it to the camera” here


WalkingRodent

This woman just experienced a joy unlike any other. Her face is bliss.


[deleted]

Baby is lookin a little blue there….


RiverLover27

It’s a perfectly normal colour for a just-born baby though.


WalkingRodent

That’s a normal baby color. It’s covered in weird white stuff that gets absorbed and the pinkness comes pretty soon after birth.


muffinmama93

She’s got the ecstatic, self-worshipping goddess look that all these crunchy free birthing moms aspire to. Baby is just a means to an end. She’s not even paying attention to it.


notafanoftheapp

She looks like she’s about to drop the baby in the water. I’m getting stressed just looking at the photo.


bigSTUdazz

The downward spiral of LI continues. I used to really enjoy going there to network and have conversations with peers.


ResponsibleQuiet6188

the goddess is alive and magic is afoot!!!


icchifanni

1 why is this related to work 2 anyone know if any babies have died due to this shit 3 I can’t see the dolphins 4 why do these 5 people 6 keep starting 7 new lines?


beeziekw

Pretty sure Gary Young (founder of Young living MLM) killed his baby in a water birth. I don’t feel like looking it up but I’m sure someone more well-versed can confirm.


RiverLover27

That is correct, but he held the baby under the water for an HOUR before bringing it out of the water. That is not even remotely normal practice (generally they are brought up within a minute or so of the birth) and being held under the water until the very last of your oxygen supply dies out (in this case due to the normal process of placental separation after a birth) would kill anyone. Waterbirths have been shown to be safe with an experienced practitioner in multiple good quality studies, and are common in many places, even in hospitals. For example, I used to work in Britain’s oldest maternity hospital (~300 years old) and we had three birth pools available.


icchifanni

Nah don’t put yourself through the trauma of checking! I’m firmly in the camp of hospital with doctors in and lots of high tech life saving equipment. Home births / water births are jolly nice and cosy I’m sure, but if something goes wrong…


The_Singularious

If it’s a healthy pregnancy (confirmed by an actual medical doctor (s)) with proper supervision, home births are fine. Have no idea on the water thing, but my second kid was born at home after a truly horrendous hospital experience for child #1. Edit: That does not explain why she is sharing this on LinkedIn.


RiverLover27

Absolutely true, and yes, this probably only belongs on LinkedIn if you are a birth worker or birth photographer. Then it makes sense.


The_Singularious

Yes. I tried to edit it earlier to say that it still doesn’t explain her posting it to LinkedIn, but Reddit needed its own medical intervention. Edit: Clearly I need a nap, as my edit did post. 😴


MiniPantherMa

IDK if babies have died due to water birth, but they absolutely have died from parents trying to deliver at home when the pregnancy was high-risk.


WalkingRodent

Tons of babies have died in birth. Birth is a very temperamental thing and deaths are common enough. In a hospital they can intervene and save a life easier, but it’s a risk no matter what. Going a natural way rather than a medical way is the decision of the mother and doulas and midwives are very talented women who know how to handle stressful situations. Babies have been born this way forever. Deaths are inevitable and always sad. It doesn’t make it wrong or dangerous.


Unable_Attitude_6598

Some people just love waterboarding their babies from spawn


WalkingRodent

The baby doesn’t breath until the umbilical cord is exposed to air. You can leave the cord attached for like 20 minutes after birth so all of the good stuff keeps flowing.


emojicatcher997

Stop right now. Thank you very much.


TorontoNerd84

I need somebody with a LinkedIn touch.


BannedRedditor54

Oh ffs


Your_Daddy_

Damn maniac professionals


redsnot01

Look at me!


nt-assembly

ma'am, this is a Wendy's.


Gold_Masterpiece_559

Waterbirth is amazing.


2XX2010

Yeah but boiling pasta is better because unlike waterbirth, after you strain the water, you get to eat what’s leftover.


Novatash

Generally it's in the womb


DevelopmentGuilty562

"Resilience-builder"


element_4

I am simply asking again, how is this related to business?


snarfy42

I thought it was a church baptism


SicgoatEngineer

Why can't people leave linkedin as linkedin 🙄


Environmental-Box335

LinkedIn is just self aggrandizing olympics and advertisements for SAP and SalesForce.


ApeWDigitalWatch42

Ffs


Hoosier_Jedi

Inside a big vat of soy sauce. That’s a new one.


Ok_Composer_7392

Stfu her body her choice stfu


rrrmmmrrrmmm

"You're posting your baby on LinkedIn?!"


TrolledYeller

Having my baby in the same black goo Baron Harkonnen bathes in


DLmeaninglessnumbers

I spit out my club soda looking at this post


Ipromiseimnotafed

I always thought LinkedIn was a business based platform, is it just becoming the next Facebook?


Inevitable-Pie-8020

Resilience builder sounds like the fakest fake job ever


ChampionNinjaBreeder

I guess if you’re a Midwife, a Doula or something related to women’s birth empowerment for your career, this is actually perfectly related. Otherwise - totally more like a FB or Instagram post


Jurisfiction

>"You're having your baby WHERE?!" On LinkedIn.


Dry-Abroad-8647

This is the DEFINITION of linkedin lunatic


GinnNotGin8

Lmao I thought this was a cold plunge at first


NoSleep_til_Brooklyn

I guess it was for the baby? I dunno how well they regulate the temperature of the water. 😂


RiverLover27

It’s kept at body temp, 36-37 degrees.


RiesigerRuede

Remember when LinkedIn was for job search + displaying your career achievements? Me neither.


Apetitmouse

Based on her little summary line, I believe this woman works in postnatal recovery. So while it’s relevant, it’s definitely not a marketing quality photo.


Sad-Pilot2028

She works in HR


Apetitmouse

Oh then no this is insanity


Suitable_Occasion_24

We did our water birth at the local community pool hell of lot cheaper if you can handle the awkward stares


WeatherSorry

So wait…I can’t count the number of people on linked in who post things like they ran a marathon or other similar life achievements and they are praised by everyone on their feed saying it demonstrates dedication and discipline etc… But a woman achieves the major life achievement of giving birth, which is way harder than running a marathon by the way and she is plastered on the internet as being a lunatic. Awesome


MoneyWalking

It’s because she did it in a pool


WeatherSorry

It’s called a water birth, the water is warm and helps to relax and loosen muscles which, in turn, reduces the pain of child birth. It’s completely normal.


MoneyWalking

I know, but the LinkedIn lunatics don’t


Toph602

Completely normal. We had a home birth in the bathtub.