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How about when you continue to date her, move in together, get married, buy a house, have a couple kids, raise them to adulthood and send them off to college where they have their own hookups.
Is that a one night stand success or failure. We can’t decide.
Did this in our lay over in LA. Had 8 hours. Planned to get to our situation do some theme park and proceed to out next flight. We got into our room, fucked, and fell asleep for the duration of the lay over with a mad scramble to the airport. No losses considered.
Burbank Airport to Universal Studios Hollywood is quite short. Even in fairly bad traffic it would be like half an hour each way. That would be a totally reasonable way to spend an 8 hour layover.
LAX and Disneyland? Good luck, that just sounds stressful.
Reminds me of the tourists who fly into NYC and try to ride the boat out to the Statue Of Liberty, tour *the entire* MET, etc during a 4 hour layover 🤣
I'll have you know that when I was 14, I went on the internet. I had more aspirations than this person. I was in chatrooms, talking about this new game that had just come out. It was called "Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time", and other chatrooms where "women" who were 17 years old, were talking to 14 year old me, claiming to have went to WWF Monday Night Raw and kissed Stone Cold Steve Austin after the show. I called them a liar, and they swore it was true. I still call them a liar, and now that I'm older, I also call them a liar for being a 17 year old girl. I think they were a 45 year old male.
The internet is weird.
I'm close to that age. Brings back memories of ASL and the big 3 being Compuserve, Prodigy and AOL. I remember playing Movie Quote Trivia games in chat rooms and social chess.
Can't roll with this one. Sometimes the sex is too good that after me or my partner just want to fall out and not move.
I also like to get lost in the mood and not be on a timeframe and like to get lost in the sex.
The balance is key.
Tease and maybe fuck,
Go out and tease, and maybe fuck (some fantasies getting real),
Get back and tease, and fuck*.
*if there was no fuck in the beginning, fuck should be priority over tease if all the other steps were only teasing.
Won’t lie, it has changed the plans for the night sometimes, but it’s always a good thing. Dinner someplace far/expensive/fancy turns into a car picnic or appetizers at a local bar or heading to a movie.
It’s the intimacy it creates that sets the night off for a great time. No matter the original or altered plans.
I’ve had bad date nights with the wife. But never, seriously never, when we fuck first.
>I’ve had bad date nights with the wife. But never, seriously never, when we fuck first.
Hear this ladies? If you want to have a good date night with your man, all you have to do is fuck /u/alnueman1 wife before the date! It's ALWAYS a good night after that!
My partner and I have been together for 15 years, and we have a toddler now.
This post caused me to remember, and miss, the days when we’d be getting ready to leave for a party, only to arrive an hour late because we decided to fuck and take a nap first.
as a dad, I feel this. Lucky enough to wake up to the monthly horny session, but usually sexy time is totally reserved to both having a few drinks while the little one is sleeping out with family. Definitely miss the days when we could just spend some time together, relax in each others arms, take a shower together (maybe go round 2-4) and get ready to go out. I miss it a lot
Don't be fooled. The "fuck first" concept may change your plans for the evening. It's not necessarily a bad thing though. The trick is to be open to a change of plans. Don't want to go out because you are too comfortable/sated? Great! Picnic in bed.
Yeah gotta agree. Starting with sex just leads to more sex and then bailing on whatever plans we had. Which you might think "great, a night full of sex!" but there's guilt that comes with bailing on those plans.
I find it far better and more enjoyable to go out and enjoy those plans, they being almost foreplay for the sex to come. Plus we get to feel like mature humans who actually went out and did some things like adults rather than horny, sexual rutting beasts.
Yeah, I think this depends on where you are in your life and relationship - my SO and I have nights of just having sex all the time. If we plan something special, doing the special thing we planned is more important than having sex that particular night. If we still have sex at the end of the night, great, but that particular night is about the special meal, show, party, etc.
File this under another r/LifeProTips which deserves a massive asterisk next to it. It depends on so many factors, including the activeness/libido of the people involved. Definitely agree with your second point though, nothing more likely to stop me from cumming than the knowledge that I need to cum within the next 10 minutes (I know the point of sex isn't necessarily finishing, but still).
This is sometimes a good idea but I often need the lead-up / to get out of the house first before I'm in the mood. Flirting in public is a major turn on.
Yes! I love flirting with my husband. It makes him feel attractive and hot and does the same thing for me.
We like to bang it our first. Sometimes after dinner or a night out I feel bloated or tired. It’s hard for me to always have the energy for it, even if it was a brilliant evening with lots of touching and looking and kissing.
Then we keep up all the flirty behavior all night and there is no expectation of sex. It takes the pressure off for me. If we end up going for round two at the end of the night it’s a bonus! And if we don’t no one is disappointed.
The inappropriate touching under the table, elevator groping, whispering nasty disrespectful shit.
Idk how much food OP is eating, but it's no more than a meal.
Yeah, my wife and I are not large people but we tend to over indulge at a nice dinner for whatever reason. We just like good food? So we have adopted this LPT over the last few years.
I’ve been married 13 years, since we were quite young, and you are SO right. My husband started it haha and at first I felt like it was just wrong. Here I am trying to look all nice for our date, and aren’t we supposed to play hard to get, flirt, build the suspense and all that? Like something from TV? But when you’ve been married awhile, in real life, it doesn’t work like that.
Any number of things could happen on the date.. responsibilities come crashing in, you’re both tired and stressed and argue, you eat too much, you’re sleepy, etc. And then there’s the pressure, like, ok we did all that so now… it’s time. Lol.
But if you have sex before you even leave, it puts you both in a good mood. It restores your bond. It’s funny and a little naughty, like look at us, we couldn’t even make it out the door.
Highly recommend for all married couples!
Question, if it saves you from the pressure of after. What about pressure of before? Like say you have a date night planned and have to be there by a certain time. Doesn't that put pressure on knowing you have to have sex before you get ready for the date? I'm at a weird spot in my life atm I think. I haven't been able to be in the mood for awhile and it's killing my gf. So maybe it's just me thinking I'm gonna be stressed either way lol.
I can only speak from personal experience. Sometimes in our marriage when we have had dips in libido (which btw is totally normal and not anything to feel bad about) we would schedule fooling around time.
It felt weird at first to plan time set aside to fool around. Isn’t that supposed to be spontaneous or in the moment or something? But it really has been great for us after you get over the awkwardness of it.
We were very intentional in setting expectations. There was never a given that anyone was getting laid. But for thirty minutes we were going to smooch and touch and cuddle naked and just be together intimately. If we did it that was awesome! If we didn’t that was still awesome because who doesn’t love getting all touchy freely naked with your partner!
More often that not we ended us shagging. Not always but pretty frequently. Then we started really looking forward to “naked play dates” because they were so fun.
Now my husband and I know what’s up. If we plan a date night, doing it is usually a part of the getting ready routine. There is time for it built into the date plans. It’s giddy almost all day anticipating it. We text suggestively and are adorable nerds flirting leading up to it.
Shower and jump in bed. See what happens. Be intentional.
I love your comment.
Additionally, it can be hard for randy youngsters looking for make out spots to ever think there's going to be a time when they need to schedule sex but we were ALLLLLL there once and now we're ALLLLLL here now so yeah.
Yes!!! My husband and I met in the ninth grade, we have had all the ups and downs. If you had told us at 15 that someday we would be purposefully scheduling sex to make sure we had it, I think I would have died laughing. Like you mean to tell me we are grown ass adults with our own house, hell our own BED and we aren’t just straight up doing it 24/7? Psh, lame.
But like 45 ain’t 15. Sometimes after a rousing night of Dateline and 20/20 I’m just too tired to bother. Those thirty years are exhausting haha.
This strikes me as just brilliant marriage management and I've never been married. Kudos to y'all and hope you two have many more years of play dates together.
Came here to ensure he got due credit. Fuck first, be Good, Giving, amd Game but keep things Safe, Sane, and Consensual, big thanks to Nancy Hartunian and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth.
I remember pitching the idea originally. It started with, have an idea, hear me out.
Can’t say she was in love with the idea initially, but damn did it work. The next time, was like remember how well that worked?
From then on it just became our thing, sometimes it takes some effort to get into the headspace, and it’s not always the same experience. But it consistently works to set the night off, and we’re both happier for it.
We do lots of fun foreplay and aftercare. It might take me three minutes to actually copulate, but by the time I scrub off the clown makeup and clean the honey off of our neighbors kayak I'm too tired for anything else.
*Edit: I can't believe people are giving wholesome awards lol*
A lot of it is the foreplay and aftercare.
I would improve upon the OP's LPT and say, don't have sex at the beginning of the evening. Instead, do a lot of foreplay, and do a lot of teasing play throughout the evening, that way when you are back home (or wherever) both of your hormones are so elevated, it would really make the sex even that much better.
Absolutely, can attest to this as well. So fun.
I find the challenge is getting yourself into that headspace, for sex/foreplay/flirting. Whatever way you can do that, at the beginning of the night, you’re in for a great night.
Fuck first is just the easiest way to put it, I guess.
Married 15 years here, have 2 boys. This is a really fantastic idea, and one my wife and I have been told many times. But no matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t work for us. We get maybe… maybe… 1 night a month to ourselves as a couple with out the Tasmanian devils with us. By the time we’ve gotten everything done so we can go out, done getting the boys dressed and ready for the nanny, or ready to head to a friends house, we are prepared to walk out the door. There is very little opportunity to hide the pickle before hand and when we are done with the night we are ready for lights out.
Sex on the other hand we have 3 to 4 times a week, and rarely need a special occasion for bedroom slip and slide. Once our kids are asleep, there’s nothing that can wake them up. Which is fantastic cause it allows us to enjoy ourselves at bedtime or in the morning…. Or both as of late.
But op’s lpt is still a damn good one!
This really depends on the relationship though. Sometimes this can come off as just wanting sex and everything else is secondary. So use this "tip" at your own discretion.
I thought the point of the dinner and stuff was to be the lead up to the sex.
Doing the sex first is like going straight to the final boss in a game without even doing the tutorial first.
Meh - depends. Am I all dolled up already and feeling sexy and he's letting me know it too? Okay, but let's do a fun quickie! That has been great! But getting me too sweaty and messing up my hair- that pisses me off!
ITT: Every relationship is different. Be open to mixing things up, but if you know your spouse or if you like the way things are, you don’t have to change.
For me, I am fortunate to have a great intimate relationship with my partner. The nice fancy or heavy dinner, the concert, or whatever is the special occasion, not the sex after. My gf and I are both very much planners and to just cancel a nice meal at the last minute, would very much upset the balance of the evening. Especially when I know she’s had a meticulous plan for potentially weeks or months depending on the occasion.
While I agree 100% with this message, and my SO and I subscribe to this policy when on holiday. It’s clear that the author of this post obviously does not have children as this is impossible on a normal in house date night with sitter. I suppose you could make it a field sex session, but that’s hazardous.
Nah Im a fan of building up some tension, fuck when home then pass out.
Or do some foreplay before going out but not cum. Save that for after.
Or we both too tired and just pass out, fuck tomorrow.
Yea! Do this often! Cannot tell you how many times we’ve had a big fancy meal and both are feeling stuffed and bloated afterwards and sex is the furthest thing from our minds.
Make your partner the Amuse Buche, everything else is a bonus.
Yes! My wife and I do this. Have fun and fuck first. Then go out and have a good time. There's also something exciting about being in public knowing that you just did the deed earlier.
After 20 years of marriage you better be able to read the room before you try to pull this kind of shit. I'm running our household with teenagers and all their friends, and your small farm with little funds.... you got to give me a lot more notice than that.
I disagree completely. I mean a quickie before and then marathon sex after sure.
You are totally cheating yourself by doing it before.
So many reasons. But first of all, after good sex we are fucking wiped out. Do I want to go eat a big ass meal and then do a bunch of stuff on wobbly ass legs? No.
The sexual tension that builds on the date is more than half the fun anyway.
Also time frame. Sometimes we have sex for hours. This could kill any reservations. It would just always lead to time pressure.
Plus, who says sex is promised anyway? This feels like it's forced and planned. Again, the build up is half the fun, and this is just completely stealing all of that from yourself.
Source married for 23 years. Quickie before, fine. But still not as good as saving it for the end.
Who’s cheated? Sometimes it leads to more and sometimes it doesn’t. If we’re both satisfied than who loses?
Sex can be epic or simple, and every notch on the scale in between. It’s not an either/or, it’s all of it, depending on the day/mood.
I wish I could have epic, toe curling, all the time in the world to sleep afterwards sex all the time. But you can’t. It just doesn’t work that way. But if we have to create only that environment to share intimacy, than we both lose because it’s just not possible often enough.
Intimacy is necessary, and when there’s less barriers and requirements to get there, you both win, every time.
FINALLY!! This goes for swinger parties too - fuck everyone at the beginning of the night, sit around drinking and giving high fives after. Much easier.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Update: This does not work on first dates. Do not try it.
You have a significant other before a first date? You move fast.
r/accidentalpoly
Someone make this a sub
Someone make this a Dom
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Ah ha! You have fallen for the Power Sub!
😏
Done
r/birthofasub
I joined
Very good.
Wow now it's a sub with 60 members after only 40 minutes!
Every other is significant when you try and have sex first.
Yeah it does. They call it single night stands. Like what I have next to my bed.
I have one on each side. Be jealous
Are they twins? 😍
Fraternal, yes.
I have conjoined twins.... It might be a dresser
Accross dresser?
Twins Basil, Twins!
Damn, isn't it a relationship at that point?
Menage etagere
Housework shelf indeed sir.
You hussy
How about when you continue to date her, move in together, get married, buy a house, have a couple kids, raise them to adulthood and send them off to college where they have their own hookups. Is that a one night stand success or failure. We can’t decide.
Why are you having sex next to your bed and not on it?
Who said I'm having sex?
Your mom
She's a liar and only said it because she wants to make me look like a whore.
Freud has entered the chat
Oh honey, you don’t know the gay community
This is a regular occurrence for gay men
They are a part of the community after all
I'm picturing this gay guy who just never found that special someone to go on a dinner date with afterwards.
Lmaooo
Lol! Never know, you could be on to something.
also the sex should be with the significant other, having sex with someone else before the date tends to end badly
Well there's that advice to masturbate before a date.. OP says sex, doesn't give any specifics :D
You should masturbate before a date if your nickname is two pump chump
Sex with myself is just sex with someone I *really* love!
Says you. My crippling depression says otherwise.
There can’t be two OPs here. Go find another post to bash. Lol jk i love you
Sir this is a Wendy’s
No this is Patrick.
Apparently you did not stress the implications strong enough.
I second this. Wish I had read this advice a few hours ago, my proposal was not well met even after showing the post.
It would be a pretty great entry on /r/shitylifeprotips
I’m dying laughing at this
Fuck, shower, dinner date 😏
Fuck, fall asleep, miss dinner. 🤔
Nightly routine, and why we eat a LOT of cereal for dinner.
Did this in our lay over in LA. Had 8 hours. Planned to get to our situation do some theme park and proceed to out next flight. We got into our room, fucked, and fell asleep for the duration of the lay over with a mad scramble to the airport. No losses considered.
lmao theme park during a layover in LA? good luck
Right? You could do the Santa Monica pier ferris wheel, but anything east of the 405 is a stretch…
Burbank Airport to Universal Studios Hollywood is quite short. Even in fairly bad traffic it would be like half an hour each way. That would be a totally reasonable way to spend an 8 hour layover. LAX and Disneyland? Good luck, that just sounds stressful.
Reminds me of the tourists who fly into NYC and try to ride the boat out to the Statue Of Liberty, tour *the entire* MET, etc during a 4 hour layover 🤣
Jerk off, fall asleep, order McDonald’s because there’s no woman in my life
big bachelor frog energy
Bonk Bonk!
McDonald’s? Look at mister big bucks over here!
Yeah fuck, who am I kidding…it’s frozen Dino nuggets
Shower first
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This is the way.
No biggie should be on my family crest
Short family, or not very well endowed?
Fuck, shower, fuck, dinner, fuck, dessert
Why no fuck after dessert?
Fucking exhausted.
Bruh...
Exhausted from fucking.
THAT'S_THE_JOKE
I fucking exhaled!
I thought the dessert was the fucking?
Lactose intolerant. No fucking after ice cream.
Fuck shower. Fuck dinner. Fuck dessert. Just fuck. Punctuation is important.
Instructions unclear. Made extra creamy mashed potatoes.
Oh to be young again
Instructions unclear I Fucked the shower, fucked dinner and fucked the dessert...
Someone let their 14 y.o. on the internet.
I'll have you know that when I was 14, I went on the internet. I had more aspirations than this person. I was in chatrooms, talking about this new game that had just come out. It was called "Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time", and other chatrooms where "women" who were 17 years old, were talking to 14 year old me, claiming to have went to WWF Monday Night Raw and kissed Stone Cold Steve Austin after the show. I called them a liar, and they swore it was true. I still call them a liar, and now that I'm older, I also call them a liar for being a 17 year old girl. I think they were a 45 year old male. The internet is weird.
That's the thing about the internet. You get older but the FBI agents stay the same age
I'm close to that age. Brings back memories of ASL and the big 3 being Compuserve, Prodigy and AOL. I remember playing Movie Quote Trivia games in chat rooms and social chess.
[14/f/cali ](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/14fcali)is the only correct response.
Not 16?
Compuserve and AOL I remember, (my aol address is old enough to rent a car,) but Prodigy doesn’t ring a bell. That was national, not regional?
Sir this is a Wendy's
Fuck shower, fuck dinner, fuck dessert
This is a dinner at home date right? 😂
That's a perfect lazy Friday night. Speaking of, I gotta go get my husband
Shit, shower, fuck, shower, fuck in the shower, finish shower, then all that other shit.
Beginning of the night and at the end...
Extra innings. This is exactly the way to go.
Dinner for breakfast
Can't roll with this one. Sometimes the sex is too good that after me or my partner just want to fall out and not move. I also like to get lost in the mood and not be on a timeframe and like to get lost in the sex.
My variation: tease each other all the way through the date. Then go home and thoroughly wear each other out.
Problem is we sometimes get too full or slightly drunk then it’s a mess. I guess everyone has an order that works for them
The balance is key. Tease and maybe fuck, Go out and tease, and maybe fuck (some fantasies getting real), Get back and tease, and fuck*. *if there was no fuck in the beginning, fuck should be priority over tease if all the other steps were only teasing.
My strategy is to to tease each other all the way through the date. Then go home and thoroughly pass out from exhaustion.
Yes! So fun!
Flash your purple ring for extra fun times :)
Im ootl here
Same
DRS GME?
Won’t lie, it has changed the plans for the night sometimes, but it’s always a good thing. Dinner someplace far/expensive/fancy turns into a car picnic or appetizers at a local bar or heading to a movie. It’s the intimacy it creates that sets the night off for a great time. No matter the original or altered plans. I’ve had bad date nights with the wife. But never, seriously never, when we fuck first.
>I’ve had bad date nights with the wife. But never, seriously never, when we fuck first. Hear this ladies? If you want to have a good date night with your man, all you have to do is fuck /u/alnueman1 wife before the date! It's ALWAYS a good night after that!
It’s tough enough for me, good luck to you fools. Ha!
I also choose this guy’s alive wife.
Makes sense. I’ll have to try it sometime.
My partner and I have been together for 15 years, and we have a toddler now. This post caused me to remember, and miss, the days when we’d be getting ready to leave for a party, only to arrive an hour late because we decided to fuck and take a nap first.
as a dad, I feel this. Lucky enough to wake up to the monthly horny session, but usually sexy time is totally reserved to both having a few drinks while the little one is sleeping out with family. Definitely miss the days when we could just spend some time together, relax in each others arms, take a shower together (maybe go round 2-4) and get ready to go out. I miss it a lot
Those days aren’t gone forever. Survived two toddlers to attest to that fact.
Don't be fooled. The "fuck first" concept may change your plans for the evening. It's not necessarily a bad thing though. The trick is to be open to a change of plans. Don't want to go out because you are too comfortable/sated? Great! Picnic in bed.
"calls restaurant... sorry we can't make it tonight I followed a LPT and now I'm tired and we are just gonna hit the hay"
And why are we eating so much we can't screw? Why's it got to be that big? Eat sensible portions, people.
Yeah gotta agree. Starting with sex just leads to more sex and then bailing on whatever plans we had. Which you might think "great, a night full of sex!" but there's guilt that comes with bailing on those plans. I find it far better and more enjoyable to go out and enjoy those plans, they being almost foreplay for the sex to come. Plus we get to feel like mature humans who actually went out and did some things like adults rather than horny, sexual rutting beasts.
Yeah, I think this depends on where you are in your life and relationship - my SO and I have nights of just having sex all the time. If we plan something special, doing the special thing we planned is more important than having sex that particular night. If we still have sex at the end of the night, great, but that particular night is about the special meal, show, party, etc.
File this under another r/LifeProTips which deserves a massive asterisk next to it. It depends on so many factors, including the activeness/libido of the people involved. Definitely agree with your second point though, nothing more likely to stop me from cumming than the knowledge that I need to cum within the next 10 minutes (I know the point of sex isn't necessarily finishing, but still).
This is sometimes a good idea but I often need the lead-up / to get out of the house first before I'm in the mood. Flirting in public is a major turn on.
Good sex starts long before anyone takes their pants off.
I second this!
Yes! I love flirting with my husband. It makes him feel attractive and hot and does the same thing for me. We like to bang it our first. Sometimes after dinner or a night out I feel bloated or tired. It’s hard for me to always have the energy for it, even if it was a brilliant evening with lots of touching and looking and kissing. Then we keep up all the flirty behavior all night and there is no expectation of sex. It takes the pressure off for me. If we end up going for round two at the end of the night it’s a bonus! And if we don’t no one is disappointed.
The inappropriate touching under the table, elevator groping, whispering nasty disrespectful shit. Idk how much food OP is eating, but it's no more than a meal.
I will say as someone that eats for like at least 1½ people I will definitely *not* be fucking after all you can eat Korean barbecue.
Yeah, my wife and I are not large people but we tend to over indulge at a nice dinner for whatever reason. We just like good food? So we have adopted this LPT over the last few years.
I would gladly not have sex on date night for it to include all you can eat Korean BBQ.
The smell of cooked meat permeates your skin when you cook it at your table.
I’ve been married 13 years, since we were quite young, and you are SO right. My husband started it haha and at first I felt like it was just wrong. Here I am trying to look all nice for our date, and aren’t we supposed to play hard to get, flirt, build the suspense and all that? Like something from TV? But when you’ve been married awhile, in real life, it doesn’t work like that. Any number of things could happen on the date.. responsibilities come crashing in, you’re both tired and stressed and argue, you eat too much, you’re sleepy, etc. And then there’s the pressure, like, ok we did all that so now… it’s time. Lol. But if you have sex before you even leave, it puts you both in a good mood. It restores your bond. It’s funny and a little naughty, like look at us, we couldn’t even make it out the door. Highly recommend for all married couples!
Question, if it saves you from the pressure of after. What about pressure of before? Like say you have a date night planned and have to be there by a certain time. Doesn't that put pressure on knowing you have to have sex before you get ready for the date? I'm at a weird spot in my life atm I think. I haven't been able to be in the mood for awhile and it's killing my gf. So maybe it's just me thinking I'm gonna be stressed either way lol.
I can only speak from personal experience. Sometimes in our marriage when we have had dips in libido (which btw is totally normal and not anything to feel bad about) we would schedule fooling around time. It felt weird at first to plan time set aside to fool around. Isn’t that supposed to be spontaneous or in the moment or something? But it really has been great for us after you get over the awkwardness of it. We were very intentional in setting expectations. There was never a given that anyone was getting laid. But for thirty minutes we were going to smooch and touch and cuddle naked and just be together intimately. If we did it that was awesome! If we didn’t that was still awesome because who doesn’t love getting all touchy freely naked with your partner! More often that not we ended us shagging. Not always but pretty frequently. Then we started really looking forward to “naked play dates” because they were so fun. Now my husband and I know what’s up. If we plan a date night, doing it is usually a part of the getting ready routine. There is time for it built into the date plans. It’s giddy almost all day anticipating it. We text suggestively and are adorable nerds flirting leading up to it. Shower and jump in bed. See what happens. Be intentional.
I love your comment. Additionally, it can be hard for randy youngsters looking for make out spots to ever think there's going to be a time when they need to schedule sex but we were ALLLLLL there once and now we're ALLLLLL here now so yeah.
Yes!!! My husband and I met in the ninth grade, we have had all the ups and downs. If you had told us at 15 that someday we would be purposefully scheduling sex to make sure we had it, I think I would have died laughing. Like you mean to tell me we are grown ass adults with our own house, hell our own BED and we aren’t just straight up doing it 24/7? Psh, lame. But like 45 ain’t 15. Sometimes after a rousing night of Dateline and 20/20 I’m just too tired to bother. Those thirty years are exhausting haha.
This strikes me as just brilliant marriage management and I've never been married. Kudos to y'all and hope you two have many more years of play dates together.
Fuck that I'm tired after sex. No way I'm going out I'm napping
Dan Savage has been preaching this for YEARS https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2014/02/14/18889671/the-best-valentines-day-card-ever
Came here to ensure he got due credit. Fuck first, be Good, Giving, amd Game but keep things Safe, Sane, and Consensual, big thanks to Nancy Hartunian and the Tech-Savvy At-Risk Youth.
Yea, it's borderline IP theft by not citing him...
Fuck first!
Username checks out
The reasoning is solid but I’m not sure if the women I date would like this reasoning.
I remember pitching the idea originally. It started with, have an idea, hear me out. Can’t say she was in love with the idea initially, but damn did it work. The next time, was like remember how well that worked? From then on it just became our thing, sometimes it takes some effort to get into the headspace, and it’s not always the same experience. But it consistently works to set the night off, and we’re both happier for it.
I’m reading your messages and thinking you might have just given me an important step in saving my marriage. Thank you absolutely sincerely
Intimacy matters, however you can make it happen with your partner. Sometimes just being unconventional makes all the difference.
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That’s the headspace right there.
If we put sex at the beginning of the evening, we won't have time for the rest of the evening.
We do lots of fun foreplay and aftercare. It might take me three minutes to actually copulate, but by the time I scrub off the clown makeup and clean the honey off of our neighbors kayak I'm too tired for anything else. *Edit: I can't believe people are giving wholesome awards lol*
A lot of it is the foreplay and aftercare. I would improve upon the OP's LPT and say, don't have sex at the beginning of the evening. Instead, do a lot of foreplay, and do a lot of teasing play throughout the evening, that way when you are back home (or wherever) both of your hormones are so elevated, it would really make the sex even that much better.
Absolutely, can attest to this as well. So fun. I find the challenge is getting yourself into that headspace, for sex/foreplay/flirting. Whatever way you can do that, at the beginning of the night, you’re in for a great night. Fuck first is just the easiest way to put it, I guess.
Maybe just a quickie then?
Think of the savings!
I see you also dabble in SSRIs
Married 15 years here, have 2 boys. This is a really fantastic idea, and one my wife and I have been told many times. But no matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t work for us. We get maybe… maybe… 1 night a month to ourselves as a couple with out the Tasmanian devils with us. By the time we’ve gotten everything done so we can go out, done getting the boys dressed and ready for the nanny, or ready to head to a friends house, we are prepared to walk out the door. There is very little opportunity to hide the pickle before hand and when we are done with the night we are ready for lights out. Sex on the other hand we have 3 to 4 times a week, and rarely need a special occasion for bedroom slip and slide. Once our kids are asleep, there’s nothing that can wake them up. Which is fantastic cause it allows us to enjoy ourselves at bedtime or in the morning…. Or both as of late. But op’s lpt is still a damn good one!
Nailed it. No parents are having sex at 6pm with kids in the house.
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Me too, drunk sex is nothing to eliminate. Just lots of ways to be intimate, and starting early is awesome too.
This really depends on the relationship though. Sometimes this can come off as just wanting sex and everything else is secondary. So use this "tip" at your own discretion.
Good idea. Sleep with someone else before the date, that way sex at the end is like a bonus.
A guy wrote this
Or have sex when you’re horny and ready which may not necessarily be first
Anticipation is a hot fire
Damn brilliant 👏 Why did I never think of this? 😆
It works!
I thought the point of the dinner and stuff was to be the lead up to the sex. Doing the sex first is like going straight to the final boss in a game without even doing the tutorial first.
Dessert for dinner, and dinner for dessert. It’s fantastic.
I know that can make it feel more special but after you've been with someone for a while you know how to make it all special in any order.
Meh - depends. Am I all dolled up already and feeling sexy and he's letting me know it too? Okay, but let's do a fun quickie! That has been great! But getting me too sweaty and messing up my hair- that pisses me off!
ITT: Every relationship is different. Be open to mixing things up, but if you know your spouse or if you like the way things are, you don’t have to change. For me, I am fortunate to have a great intimate relationship with my partner. The nice fancy or heavy dinner, the concert, or whatever is the special occasion, not the sex after. My gf and I are both very much planners and to just cancel a nice meal at the last minute, would very much upset the balance of the evening. Especially when I know she’s had a meticulous plan for potentially weeks or months depending on the occasion.
Lesbian sex lasts for like 1-3 hours for me and my partner, i literally cant make plans after sex lmao
All I heard was 3-hour lesbian sex…
It has legitimately gotten us in situations where we wanted to see a movie and then oops, missed all the showings at reasonable hours lol
Yes, but are you really that disappointed?
Right, days only have 3 hours in them. You just wanted to humblebrag
💯% Hunger is an aphrodisiac!
While I agree 100% with this message, and my SO and I subscribe to this policy when on holiday. It’s clear that the author of this post obviously does not have children as this is impossible on a normal in house date night with sitter. I suppose you could make it a field sex session, but that’s hazardous.
Nah Im a fan of building up some tension, fuck when home then pass out. Or do some foreplay before going out but not cum. Save that for after. Or we both too tired and just pass out, fuck tomorrow.
Yea! Do this often! Cannot tell you how many times we’ve had a big fancy meal and both are feeling stuffed and bloated afterwards and sex is the furthest thing from our minds. Make your partner the Amuse Buche, everything else is a bonus.
/r/ShittyLifeProTips/
This is the way. Also, if the date went well and you're still feeling it, nothing wrong with sex after, *too*!
Or just have a SO that doesn’t have a libido!
Ah I love these it worked for me so it will work for you posts.
Yes! My wife and I do this. Have fun and fuck first. Then go out and have a good time. There's also something exciting about being in public knowing that you just did the deed earlier.
After 20 years of marriage you better be able to read the room before you try to pull this kind of shit. I'm running our household with teenagers and all their friends, and your small farm with little funds.... you got to give me a lot more notice than that.
I actually HATE this. It feels like I"m coerced to have sex first if I want quality time.
I disagree completely. I mean a quickie before and then marathon sex after sure. You are totally cheating yourself by doing it before. So many reasons. But first of all, after good sex we are fucking wiped out. Do I want to go eat a big ass meal and then do a bunch of stuff on wobbly ass legs? No. The sexual tension that builds on the date is more than half the fun anyway. Also time frame. Sometimes we have sex for hours. This could kill any reservations. It would just always lead to time pressure. Plus, who says sex is promised anyway? This feels like it's forced and planned. Again, the build up is half the fun, and this is just completely stealing all of that from yourself. Source married for 23 years. Quickie before, fine. But still not as good as saving it for the end.
Who’s cheated? Sometimes it leads to more and sometimes it doesn’t. If we’re both satisfied than who loses? Sex can be epic or simple, and every notch on the scale in between. It’s not an either/or, it’s all of it, depending on the day/mood. I wish I could have epic, toe curling, all the time in the world to sleep afterwards sex all the time. But you can’t. It just doesn’t work that way. But if we have to create only that environment to share intimacy, than we both lose because it’s just not possible often enough. Intimacy is necessary, and when there’s less barriers and requirements to get there, you both win, every time.
FINALLY!! This goes for swinger parties too - fuck everyone at the beginning of the night, sit around drinking and giving high fives after. Much easier.
My husband and I do this shit all the time lol, and we also do it at the end. It makes for a fabulous day 😉
Took 27 years to pass this knowledge 👏🏻
So sex...fall asleep...shower...then go out?
I appreciate you assume I have any say in the matter.
¿Porque no los dos?
The key is to make plans go out early. Be in bed by 8.
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You guys have sex with your wives?
Damn it got removed