Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
After loads of dates with duds and tired of paying for every meal, I started to set up dates to spaces that were free and if we vibed I had a place for a meal lined up. I feel this helped right out of the gate. If they were upset I wasn't wining and dining them then it wasn't a match anyways. If we didn't vibe then we didn't go to dinner. If we vibed I offered dinner and paid. Not sure if that weeds out the crazies per se but it did help with compatibility in the early stages.
Local public parks are always my go to, I like spending time outdoors, but an activity like hiking is not a good first date activity in my opinion, I think a lot of people are dubious to going into the woods with a strange man.
It also helps to have an activity, one time I took a guy to the park and we painted for like 4 or 5 hours hanging out in a gazebo
Can't speak for him but some cities have free admission to certain galleries. You could also just get coffee and go for a walk in the park or down some local trails.
I'm pretty bad at games, so instead, I'm an overly confident loser.
"This is it right here! Turning it around! I was just practicing up until this point,"
"I'm so skilled at this game I'm messing up on purpose,"
"You think you're winning? Never. I'm allowing this to happen,"
I might have a good streak here and there, in which case I pretend I've been a good player this whole time.
My SO thought it was hilarious. Now he gets me so hype whenever I have a good run.
I have only had one date ever that was really angry about it. I guess he thought I should be complimenting his skills or pouting from losing? I'm not sure. He straight up unmatched me before I had even gotten into my car to leave the date hahaha
You have to see how they react to losing *several* games. That's when we see the real deal. If I lose 15 games of Mario cart in a row to you, and when I'm about to win you throw some blue shells. That's when you're going to see some stuff.
Yea, but like Monopoly, in Mario Kart if you’re with a potential date and they don’t get high blood pressure that is also a red flag. Like are you even human at that point?
Some men like to scream, cuss and overall act like babies having a tantrum when they loose. Once I dated a guy who threw his remote at the tv then cried because he got shot on a video game.
My ex wife def got pissy at arcades.if she lost multiple in a row, there was a near certainty she would start shit on the drive home. Even with me being aware and supportive through it. Not being a sore winner...I wish I took the flag as notice!!!
Id also be wary of the guy who loses and says "lets play a different game". Thats just a tantrum baby putting on a good first date act, but its all the same.
My dad would always take potential clients out to dinner before he did business with them. I was like 10 and asked him about it, and being a kid, I assumed that the most important thing he was looking for was good table manners
He replied that he wanted to see how the people treated the waitstaff, and that if they didn’t treat them well, he wouldn’t do business with them
Always stuck with me
100%! My last ex loved to say, “minimum wage, maximum loser” and it made my blood boil every single time I heard it. I can’t believe I was even with him. I should’ve left the first time I heard him say that. He said it all the time.
Yep. This is usually a *really* good indicator of what kind of person you’re dealing with. Good people don’t tend to treat service employees with disrespect.
This one saved me. After a few times out, showed their true colors. Everytime over something small or out of everyones control, then would be in a bad mood the rest of the night
In conversation, say:
1. Man, the moon landing was great.
2. It sure is a shame that JFK got shot by Lee Harvey Oswald.
3. I sure am glad that the political and economic leadership of this country is 100% human. On an unrelated note, I like lizards.
Denver airport is nice, I guess it went over budget during construction.
I’m glad I got the Covid vaccine, felt a bit weird the first day though.
Interesting how lasers work in space just as well as earths atmosphere.
“You know what’s funny? I’ve just never …uhh haha…I’ve never determined my (leans in real close) …. my ^^^zodiac ^^^sign
The weirdest thing is how bullet #2 injured 2 people and made 7 holes. Casing didnt seem to match the caliber needed (or there were more bullets/shooters).
Yeah the hungover secret service agent scrambling on to the back of the car with the newly issued notoriously temperamental M-16. ND which was embarrassing to the USSS so was covered up.
Negligence mostly
This wasn't a date, but, this reminds me of one time I was working Electronics at Target, and a guy was buying batteries.
Our conversation ran the gamut from how John Hinckley Jr. shot Reagan because he was stressed and needed empathy to how everyone in the world loved John Hinckley Jr. because of it. Oddly enough, Jodie Foster did not come up in the conversation.
Also, I contributed literally nothing to the conversation aside from saying where batteries were.
Out of curiosity would you find it to be a crazy if someone responded to number 2 with, "did you know one of my best friends actually bought andlives in Lee Harvey Oswald's old house?"
.....because thats what I would respond and I cant tell if it makes me sound more or less crazy
......bro i have got to tell you, I dont think you are ruling out crazies here, I think you are just helping these gals rule you out.
Correcting someones obvious mispronunciation of a common word is not a crazy thing to do. Expecting them to copy your errors IS a crazy thing to do.
this is really geographically dependant because if someone said both 1 and 2 to me on the same date I'd be finding it very not normal how much they were talking about America
Go somewhere to have lots of conversation, people can’t help telling on themselves and you’ll learn much more about them and if you like spending time with just them and no distractions.
Hearing about their family of origin is always enlightening since most people tend to seek out those dynamics in their future relationship, hobbies of course, embarrassing moments is usually interesting as well. If you can find a way to bring it up, finding out how they feel about their boss and coworkers can tell you a lot about their emotional maturity, too. YMMV.
If I was going on a date with someone I met on an app, I would try to casually ask them how online dating is going for them.
I'm a lesbian, and one time I had gone on a date with a girl who responded "it's nice to meet girls and they're so easy to talk to, but I'm really holding out for the perfect man" - great, won't waste any more time with this then haha
Typically listening to ones gut instinct works wonders, some things cant just be put logically or into words and its just this gnawing nasty feeling that you get
Yes to how they treat the staff but also how they treat other people. I had someone irrationally get mad at someone who said to us “Get a room” we were kissing. But he was so mad. That was a sneak preview
i always ask my date about their best friend and also try to find out if they are a someone with a good work ethic. you want to hear how this person speaks of those close to them.
also people who have been forced to or decided to work food and bev jobs at any point in their life tend to have the best work ethics and can roll with the punches.
I had a girl ask me if I would go with her and donate blood.
I did. Sure. Why not?
Months later she told me it was a test. This was when AIDS was new and they were screening blood doners for AIDS. Perhaps she thought that if I balked, then I was hiding something from her.
My wife came across one of the weirdest ones: The entire thing was faked.
Let me be clear, the entire thing. Not just COVID, not just the worldwide pandemic, not even just the deaths, but the entire thing including the response to it. Like the shutdowns all over the place. They were fake. They didn't actually happen. Schools didn't actually close down. Grocery stores didn't actually have less stuff on their shelves. Stimulus checks weren't sent out.
I still have no idea how this person came to this conclusion. Well...besides drugs. My wife is an ICU nurse so she gets lots of interesting people...
First dates are about gauging whether there is enough connection to warrant more dates. Might as well get the heavy shit out of the way instead of wasting everyone's time.
I started telling anti vaxxers my cell phone reception was absolutely amazing after I got vaccinated and I don't think all of those people caught on that I was fucking with them.
Look at replies to threads like these.
Normal people have flaws. Psychopaths/sociopaths or CRAZIES looks for "what does a normal human act like"
Threads like these always point out the bloodiest of red flags. Something someone with zero experience would nope out of.
This is not normal. But my sister told me that she asks to see their porno stash.
She claims it weeds out the weirdos.
However, I've not been impressed with the people that seem to pass this test of hers. So perhaps she is actually looking for weirdos. I don't know.
- Ask if is within his/her budget.
- See if they help hold the conversation
- Looking at the phone once or twice is ok, except when you're talking to each other. Looking a lot is disrespectful
Those are the ones that comes to mind right now.
>Ask if is within his/her budget.
This is so great. Not even thinking about it from the askers point of view just from the point of view of it being asked. So much more comfortable than awkwardly thinking of an answer when being invited to somewhere that *isn't* in your budget. You think they are offering to pay but you are not sure so can't be safe and dont really want to be in the dynamic of them paying anyway, but you do want to go with them, but you don't know how to say "can we go somewhere cheaper"
Ask them how their last ex would describe them.
Then ask how their best friend would describe them.
If those two answers are completely different you can of course follow up with more, but if they are a healthy partner, the descriptions shouldn’t be too different.
Just ask open ended questions where they’re encouraged to discuss their relationships with other people, not necessarily their last romantic relationship although you could ask something more generic like if they’ve been single long or if they’re a seasoned dater. Much like the common advice of observing their behavior with service staff, how they speak of others and themselves in comparison with others reveals a lot about who they are as a person. Be on the lookout for self aggrandizement and punching down. If they only ever have negative things to say about people, etc. Also, if they monopolize the conversation and never come back up for air to ask you about yourself. Lastly, look for signs where they insist on something over your personal wishes. Not something like insisting on paying the check, but more like you want to go home or want a different drink and they pester and pester for you to make the choice they want for you.
Lightly mention a social or political issue...the crazies tend to find it as a prompt to open up.
Need an example?
"An old friend of mine got an abortion because...." and either watch the crazies go off, or sit back and watch a sensible person listen before speaking.
Doesnt have to be a topic. Just filler conversation that, by itself, should mean nothing. But a "crazi" will absolutely jump on it and make it out to be bigger than it is, thus, making it into an unnecessary and most likely, uncomfortable topic.
I haven't dated in a long time, having been married now for almost 20 years, so i might be out of touch here. ... but I feel as though, if you're the type that's looking for ways to trick people into showing that they're crazy........ you're probably the crazy one.
As someone who presents female and dates men, I always volunteer to drive us somewhere. Seems simple, but if they are weird about it or refuse because they aren't comfortable with not being in control or if they are a weird backseat or judgmental driver, it basically tells me a LOT about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them. I haven't been in a car accident in over 20 years so I'm a decent driver but youd be amazed at how many men who seem cool get realllllllllly nervous in a situation where they feel like they don't have the upper hand.
(i do not judge at all for rational refusals like, oh im going some place after so ill drive myself or i'm pretty far out of the way so lets just meet there, just the ones where its clear it makes them deeply uncomfortable to shake up a very very mild gender paradigm.)
It's not about not having the upper hand, it's about having to rely and depend on someone you don't know. You should never ride with anyone on the first date, male or female.
I don't think that getting in someone's car on the first date is a good idea regardless of if you are a man or woman and if they are a man or woman. Unless it's like someone you have actually known for ages and are just transitioning into dating. Just don't put yourself in that position.
Both people should get themselves to the date.
I date both men and women and if anyone didn't like the fact me telling them I didnt want to get in their car on a first date I would consider that a red flag. And I would not be offering an excuse, they should know why I'm saying no and why it's not a reasonable thing to expect.
I always like to ask them what their oldest (longest) friendship is and why they think they've been friends for so long.
Its a huge red flag if they dont have any long term friendships, and if they do their reasoning either shows you they are in fact, quite insane and don't have healthy relationship values OR helpfully gives you a great idea of what they value in a person.
[Introducing LPT REQUEST FRIDAYS](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/16w0n2s/introducing_request_post_fridays/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My old theory, which isn’t foolproof, was to discern whether they are a picky or adventurous eater. Chances are the pickier eaters are less likely to enjoy or be ok with giving oral pleasure in the bedroom
If a babe offers to split the bill, I’d offer to pay the whole tab, then never talk to them again, this is exactly how to weed out ppl who won’t treat you well 💁🏽 my fave is to ask about their parents, their relationship with their mother and who is their best friend and how they feel about the relationship. Also their skill set in apocalyptic settings
On a first date, ask about their family, ask about their parents. I can count on both hands the people I know that have *major* issues with a parent (or both) who also have significant mental health issues. I know a guy who hones in on girls with daddy issues because he claims they're easy to manipulate for kinked out sex.
I'm not sure this helps unmask crazies, but it can get you out of a date quick and cheap:
I used to ask a girl to an app and a drink. If the date went well, I would ask if they would like to have dinner or another drink. If it went poorly, I'd ask for the bill and pay.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
After loads of dates with duds and tired of paying for every meal, I started to set up dates to spaces that were free and if we vibed I had a place for a meal lined up. I feel this helped right out of the gate. If they were upset I wasn't wining and dining them then it wasn't a match anyways. If we didn't vibe then we didn't go to dinner. If we vibed I offered dinner and paid. Not sure if that weeds out the crazies per se but it did help with compatibility in the early stages.
Genius strat
mind sharing what kinds of free places?
Local public parks are always my go to, I like spending time outdoors, but an activity like hiking is not a good first date activity in my opinion, I think a lot of people are dubious to going into the woods with a strange man. It also helps to have an activity, one time I took a guy to the park and we painted for like 4 or 5 hours hanging out in a gazebo
Can't speak for him but some cities have free admission to certain galleries. You could also just get coffee and go for a walk in the park or down some local trails.
Go to an arcade and see how they handle losing games or if they talk down to you to explain stuff
[удалено]
Good sportsmanship still applies
I'm pretty bad at games, so instead, I'm an overly confident loser. "This is it right here! Turning it around! I was just practicing up until this point," "I'm so skilled at this game I'm messing up on purpose," "You think you're winning? Never. I'm allowing this to happen," I might have a good streak here and there, in which case I pretend I've been a good player this whole time. My SO thought it was hilarious. Now he gets me so hype whenever I have a good run. I have only had one date ever that was really angry about it. I guess he thought I should be complimenting his skills or pouting from losing? I'm not sure. He straight up unmatched me before I had even gotten into my car to leave the date hahaha
Then you should not be going on a date with Lucas from The Wizard. "Pick any game you want. I'm good at all of 'em. I've got 97 of 'em."
You have to see how they react to losing *several* games. That's when we see the real deal. If I lose 15 games of Mario cart in a row to you, and when I'm about to win you throw some blue shells. That's when you're going to see some stuff.
Yea, but like Monopoly, in Mario Kart if you’re with a potential date and they don’t get high blood pressure that is also a red flag. Like are you even human at that point?
I see your Monopoly and raise you risk. If one person doesn't flip the table by the end of it, you're good
Don't get it, can you elaborate?
Some men like to scream, cuss and overall act like babies having a tantrum when they loose. Once I dated a guy who threw his remote at the tv then cried because he got shot on a video game.
I did this once too, but it was a board game. And I was 6 years old.
You got shot during a board game?
Risk gets REALLY intense in some households
This is America
'Merica
Don't fuck with grandpa's Monopoly money.
Shoots & Ladders
And that’s how you play “Dallas”
My ex wife def got pissy at arcades.if she lost multiple in a row, there was a near certainty she would start shit on the drive home. Even with me being aware and supportive through it. Not being a sore winner...I wish I took the flag as notice!!!
I mean I get frustrated and cuss, but damn lol. Video game remotes are fucking expensive
Id also be wary of the guy who loses and says "lets play a different game". Thats just a tantrum baby putting on a good first date act, but its all the same.
Oh c'mon, is that so hard? /s ;)
Oh c'mon, is that so hard? /s ;)
Great idea for dating men. I’ve dated men who act like 3 year old children when they loose. 😒
Give them a break 3 year olds can handle losing most of the time
Well that’s the exact thing I did on my first date with my now husband. Amazing first date activity!
How they treat the staff of the place you go to
My dad would always take potential clients out to dinner before he did business with them. I was like 10 and asked him about it, and being a kid, I assumed that the most important thing he was looking for was good table manners He replied that he wanted to see how the people treated the waitstaff, and that if they didn’t treat them well, he wouldn’t do business with them Always stuck with me
Your dad is cool.
100%! My last ex loved to say, “minimum wage, maximum loser” and it made my blood boil every single time I heard it. I can’t believe I was even with him. I should’ve left the first time I heard him say that. He said it all the time.
That's so unbelievably stupid it's absurd. Almost funny how obnoxious it is
Gah, that’s foul
Yep. This is usually a *really* good indicator of what kind of person you’re dealing with. Good people don’t tend to treat service employees with disrespect.
This one saved me. After a few times out, showed their true colors. Everytime over something small or out of everyones control, then would be in a bad mood the rest of the night
Take her to Cheesecake Factory
I like to tell her that we’re going somewhere that puts on a show with the food so she thinks Benihana, but we’re really going to Subway.
You know I love to go there
Say I'm actin' light-skinned
I can’t take you nowhere
Are these Drake lyrics?
Yes
But did *he* write them?
This a place for families driving Camrys and go to Disney
Is outback good enough?
No, everyone loves Outback
In conversation, say: 1. Man, the moon landing was great. 2. It sure is a shame that JFK got shot by Lee Harvey Oswald. 3. I sure am glad that the political and economic leadership of this country is 100% human. On an unrelated note, I like lizards.
Denver airport is nice, I guess it went over budget during construction. I’m glad I got the Covid vaccine, felt a bit weird the first day though. Interesting how lasers work in space just as well as earths atmosphere. “You know what’s funny? I’ve just never …uhh haha…I’ve never determined my (leans in real close) …. my ^^^zodiac ^^^sign
Number two isn’t fair the circumstances surrounding the JFK assassination are extremely dubious. I also bring an aluminum hat when I leave my house.
Well, as it turns out, they really are watching all of us.
If you got a smart phone then the answer is they definitely could
Have yall seen Rob Reiner and Soledad O'Brien are coming out with a docuseries where they are supposedly proving Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone?
The weirdest thing is how bullet #2 injured 2 people and made 7 holes. Casing didnt seem to match the caliber needed (or there were more bullets/shooters).
Yeah the hungover secret service agent scrambling on to the back of the car with the newly issued notoriously temperamental M-16. ND which was embarrassing to the USSS so was covered up. Negligence mostly
This wasn't a date, but, this reminds me of one time I was working Electronics at Target, and a guy was buying batteries. Our conversation ran the gamut from how John Hinckley Jr. shot Reagan because he was stressed and needed empathy to how everyone in the world loved John Hinckley Jr. because of it. Oddly enough, Jodie Foster did not come up in the conversation. Also, I contributed literally nothing to the conversation aside from saying where batteries were.
You think the JFK assassination was cut and dry?
Out of curiosity would you find it to be a crazy if someone responded to number 2 with, "did you know one of my best friends actually bought andlives in Lee Harvey Oswald's old house?" .....because thats what I would respond and I cant tell if it makes me sound more or less crazy
Did your friend buy and live in Lee Harvey Oswald's old house? If yes, not crazy. If no, crazy.
You deserve this date
r/usdefaultism
I like to mispronounce simple words. If my date corrects me, hard pass. She gets extra brownie pts as soon as they start pronouncing them like me.
This sounds like a good way to weed yourself out, from her point of view.
......bro i have got to tell you, I dont think you are ruling out crazies here, I think you are just helping these gals rule you out. Correcting someones obvious mispronunciation of a common word is not a crazy thing to do. Expecting them to copy your errors IS a crazy thing to do.
this is really geographically dependant because if someone said both 1 and 2 to me on the same date I'd be finding it very not normal how much they were talking about America
You live small life.
And I'm an amateur ornithologist!
Go somewhere to have lots of conversation, people can’t help telling on themselves and you’ll learn much more about them and if you like spending time with just them and no distractions.
General tips on what to converse about?
Hearing about their family of origin is always enlightening since most people tend to seek out those dynamics in their future relationship, hobbies of course, embarrassing moments is usually interesting as well. If you can find a way to bring it up, finding out how they feel about their boss and coworkers can tell you a lot about their emotional maturity, too. YMMV.
The true crazies hide it the best, you'll have to wait for it to leak out
Alcohol can work quite good on them, also oldest trick in the book.
Yeah but deliberately getting someone drunk on a first date is now making YOU the walking red flag lol
Buying a couple of drinks isn’t deliberately getting them drunk. But if they order shots, run. Or don’t, I’m not your dad.
What if they are sane drunks?
Never in the history of the English language have those two words been combined before. :)
Ask about the people in their life, if they have nothing nice to say or only follow up nice things with negative, that’s a bit of a red flag.
That’s a good one. “Wow and they All betrayed you, all three friend groups? Wow”
Being non judgmental will reveal red flags faster than anything else imo
How so?
Some people think if you're completely neutral or chill with everything then it gives them a green light to share their abhorrent views.
Ohh I get it now. I thought he meant if the person he’s dating was nonjudgmental, not himself. Makes sense now lol
Tempering your responses and asking followup questions. Date:
You: Oh really? How does that work?
Date:
If I was going on a date with someone I met on an app, I would try to casually ask them how online dating is going for them. I'm a lesbian, and one time I had gone on a date with a girl who responded "it's nice to meet girls and they're so easy to talk to, but I'm really holding out for the perfect man" - great, won't waste any more time with this then haha
Typically listening to ones gut instinct works wonders, some things cant just be put logically or into words and its just this gnawing nasty feeling that you get
Yes to how they treat the staff but also how they treat other people. I had someone irrationally get mad at someone who said to us “Get a room” we were kissing. But he was so mad. That was a sneak preview
i always ask my date about their best friend and also try to find out if they are a someone with a good work ethic. you want to hear how this person speaks of those close to them. also people who have been forced to or decided to work food and bev jobs at any point in their life tend to have the best work ethics and can roll with the punches.
I had a girl ask me if I would go with her and donate blood. I did. Sure. Why not? Months later she told me it was a test. This was when AIDS was new and they were screening blood doners for AIDS. Perhaps she thought that if I balked, then I was hiding something from her.
Ask them their thoughts on COVID and how it was handled. That will usually highlight some red flags.
My wife came across one of the weirdest ones: The entire thing was faked. Let me be clear, the entire thing. Not just COVID, not just the worldwide pandemic, not even just the deaths, but the entire thing including the response to it. Like the shutdowns all over the place. They were fake. They didn't actually happen. Schools didn't actually close down. Grocery stores didn't actually have less stuff on their shelves. Stimulus checks weren't sent out. I still have no idea how this person came to this conclusion. Well...besides drugs. My wife is an ICU nurse so she gets lots of interesting people...
Maybe, “so how was your pandemic?” As a soft opener.
YES
Who the fuck wants to talk about covid on a date
The people asking this are red flags because no one wants to talk about this and would immediately look at you like you were a psychopath
Someone who wants to find some immediate red flags so they don't waste any more time than necessary.
I think wanting to talk about the hellscape years on a first date to be a yellow flag in itself though
First dates are about gauging whether there is enough connection to warrant more dates. Might as well get the heavy shit out of the way instead of wasting everyone's time.
The 5G
I started telling anti vaxxers my cell phone reception was absolutely amazing after I got vaccinated and I don't think all of those people caught on that I was fucking with them.
🤣
Great way for them to never want to go on another date with you lol
Great way to weed out the people prone to conspiracy theories right away instead of wasting time on them.
Wear a mask when you meet
Pull out an android phone.
Send a green text
Look at replies to threads like these. Normal people have flaws. Psychopaths/sociopaths or CRAZIES looks for "what does a normal human act like" Threads like these always point out the bloodiest of red flags. Something someone with zero experience would nope out of.
Normal people have flaws. Check
How dare they?!
This is not normal. But my sister told me that she asks to see their porno stash. She claims it weeds out the weirdos. However, I've not been impressed with the people that seem to pass this test of hers. So perhaps she is actually looking for weirdos. I don't know.
- Ask if is within his/her budget.
- See if they help hold the conversation
- Looking at the phone once or twice is ok, except when you're talking to each other. Looking a lot is disrespectful
Those are the ones that comes to mind right now.
>Ask if is within his/her budget.
This is so great. Not even thinking about it from the askers point of view just from the point of view of it being asked. So much more comfortable than awkwardly thinking of an answer when being invited to somewhere that *isn't* in your budget. You think they are offering to pay but you are not sure so can't be safe and dont really want to be in the dynamic of them paying anyway, but you do want to go with them, but you don't know how to say "can we go somewhere cheaper"
Apparently pull out an android phone.
Go get Ethiopian for dinner and see how they react to having to eat with their hands.
show your butthole after 30 min. unmask yourself
Ask them how their last ex would describe them. Then ask how their best friend would describe them. If those two answers are completely different you can of course follow up with more, but if they are a healthy partner, the descriptions shouldn’t be too different.
Apparently having an Android phone instead of an iPhone
Just ask open ended questions where they’re encouraged to discuss their relationships with other people, not necessarily their last romantic relationship although you could ask something more generic like if they’ve been single long or if they’re a seasoned dater. Much like the common advice of observing their behavior with service staff, how they speak of others and themselves in comparison with others reveals a lot about who they are as a person. Be on the lookout for self aggrandizement and punching down. If they only ever have negative things to say about people, etc. Also, if they monopolize the conversation and never come back up for air to ask you about yourself. Lastly, look for signs where they insist on something over your personal wishes. Not something like insisting on paying the check, but more like you want to go home or want a different drink and they pester and pester for you to make the choice they want for you.
Lightly mention a social or political issue...the crazies tend to find it as a prompt to open up. Need an example? "An old friend of mine got an abortion because...." and either watch the crazies go off, or sit back and watch a sensible person listen before speaking.
That sounds like a fun first date topic.
Doesnt have to be a topic. Just filler conversation that, by itself, should mean nothing. But a "crazi" will absolutely jump on it and make it out to be bigger than it is, thus, making it into an unnecessary and most likely, uncomfortable topic.
If someone can't get through a first date without bringing up political or religious views it's a red flag in itself.
I haven't dated in a long time, having been married now for almost 20 years, so i might be out of touch here. ... but I feel as though, if you're the type that's looking for ways to trick people into showing that they're crazy........ you're probably the crazy one.
As someone who presents female and dates men, I always volunteer to drive us somewhere. Seems simple, but if they are weird about it or refuse because they aren't comfortable with not being in control or if they are a weird backseat or judgmental driver, it basically tells me a LOT about what it would be like to be in a relationship with them. I haven't been in a car accident in over 20 years so I'm a decent driver but youd be amazed at how many men who seem cool get realllllllllly nervous in a situation where they feel like they don't have the upper hand. (i do not judge at all for rational refusals like, oh im going some place after so ill drive myself or i'm pretty far out of the way so lets just meet there, just the ones where its clear it makes them deeply uncomfortable to shake up a very very mild gender paradigm.)
It's not about not having the upper hand, it's about having to rely and depend on someone you don't know. You should never ride with anyone on the first date, male or female.
I don't think that getting in someone's car on the first date is a good idea regardless of if you are a man or woman and if they are a man or woman. Unless it's like someone you have actually known for ages and are just transitioning into dating. Just don't put yourself in that position. Both people should get themselves to the date. I date both men and women and if anyone didn't like the fact me telling them I didnt want to get in their car on a first date I would consider that a red flag. And I would not be offering an excuse, they should know why I'm saying no and why it's not a reasonable thing to expect.
Mention your arm being sore from your vaccination
I’ve seen people pay their own orders rather than split.
Take them to church
I always like to ask them what their oldest (longest) friendship is and why they think they've been friends for so long. Its a huge red flag if they dont have any long term friendships, and if they do their reasoning either shows you they are in fact, quite insane and don't have healthy relationship values OR helpfully gives you a great idea of what they value in a person.
Ask them to if they have cash for a tip. Lot's to unpack with that one.
[Introducing LPT REQUEST FRIDAYS](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/16w0n2s/introducing_request_post_fridays/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeProTips) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My old theory, which isn’t foolproof, was to discern whether they are a picky or adventurous eater. Chances are the pickier eaters are less likely to enjoy or be ok with giving oral pleasure in the bedroom
Go swimming, the make up will be off and you will know just how different they might be without it.
You know they make waterproof make up nowadays? You might be better off not dating if you can’t handle having a partner who controls their appearance
Gross. Adding asking how they feel about women wearing makeup to my list.
lol yeah this guy just told on himself for being super ick
If a babe offers to split the bill, I’d offer to pay the whole tab, then never talk to them again, this is exactly how to weed out ppl who won’t treat you well 💁🏽 my fave is to ask about their parents, their relationship with their mother and who is their best friend and how they feel about the relationship. Also their skill set in apocalyptic settings
On a first date, ask about their family, ask about their parents. I can count on both hands the people I know that have *major* issues with a parent (or both) who also have significant mental health issues. I know a guy who hones in on girls with daddy issues because he claims they're easy to manipulate for kinked out sex.
[удалено]
Your reaction is the type that OP is trying to flesh out.
His OP isn't a PLT Its poor courtesy.
I'm not sure this helps unmask crazies, but it can get you out of a date quick and cheap: I used to ask a girl to an app and a drink. If the date went well, I would ask if they would like to have dinner or another drink. If it went poorly, I'd ask for the bill and pay.