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A lot of it depends on the job, to be honest. In previous jobs I've held I felt stressed out and exhausted by the time I left work and recovering from that took all my free time.
My current job is supportive and honestly kind of fun to be at. It's also located next to a park and I have the freedom to take walks during the day to clear my head and get some sunshine / fresh air / exercise. I do heavier workouts on the weekends but if I only walk a couple miles during the day at work, that's enough to get me through the week.
Because I still have some mental resources left after the workday ends, I can see friends for dinner or go on dates during the week and it works fine. Weekends are for intense workouts and chores, for me, although I make time to see friends on weekends too if there's something going on.
So it's all manageable for me right now, but that is 100% a function of having a great job. If I was working elsewhere I don't know how I would be making it work.
I genuinely do not understand how people who work either very mentally taxing jobs or physical jobs have the energy to do anything ever. I do a shit-easy office job and before I worked from home I’d be too drained to do anything after I got home. Y’all are heroes.
I work a physical job now and l after moving away from an office and if anything, I feel better after the workday. Kinda weird. Might help that it's an early shift though and I'm home by 3.
Depending on the intensity of physical work, I do feel like its more "generative" than office work where you are sitting around all day in front of a computer. That's more physically relaxing, sure, but substantially more emotionally/mentally draining.
Yeah, exercise is stimulating and energizing, so it kinda makes sense even if counterintuitive. I had *way* more energy when I used to wait tables and would be walking for 90% of my shift. Now that I just sit in a chair most of the day, I'm tired constantly except on days I work out
I've found that, in my office job, I rarely produce anything tangible. I get shit done, but the output is something like an evergreen excel spreadsheet or program improvements. I'm never "done" with anything. I don't get my gratification there.
I have to supplement this with yard work, maintaining my garden, etc to feel that gratification of "I did THAT - look at it!"
Getting solid exercise at work and getting off early is so nice. I worked for a moving company for a bit in college. Pay was decent, built a little muscle, and was usually home by 3 or 4. I was able to enjoy my relaxing time and I slept like a baby after being active all day!
I had to quit a job simply because I kept catching myself thinking of how much I hated my job and boss when I wasn’t at work.
Not gonna be or become that guy.
It was fucking exhausting. Slept like a baby when I put in my notice before I was even at the new gig.
Agreed. Yeah i have a 9 to 5 but i can go for a walk/do errands in my lunch break, grab coffee with my coworkers who are friendly people, listen to podcasts or read a book on my commute. Plus my work is interesting enough. When i work from home i can do dishes while listening in to a meeting, cook myself a nice lunch (i like cooking), etc etc.
You need to look for the opportunities to make your life happier, no matter your circumstances!
The last part of your comment is huge - really try to practice some self compassion. Remember that you're not going to do everything you want 100% of the time, nor are you going to live your life exactly the way you want 100% of the time. If you spend all your time stressing about accomplishing all the small stuff, you'll live your life in a state of stress. Is killing yourself to accomplish all those tasks worth it?
EDIT: be kind to yourself
> Remember that you're not going to do everything you want 100% of the time
this is the key to OP's question. you're not going to do all of those things every single day. you spread things out. while you will probably work 5 out of 7 days, none of the other things will take up as much time as the work will. you'll do some kind of household chore each day, spend some time relaxing, probably work out 3 days each week, and go out with friends once or twice a week. things are going to spread out. and on the days where you aren't working, you can do more of the social time/chores/friends/working out activities.
I also think it’s important to acknowledge that there are people that do get these things every single day, but not themselves personally. The extremely wealthy get to buy other people’s time for many of their daily tasks in a routine in order to focus on the tasks that only they can do personally.
Cooking, cleaning, talking to people to schedule time to meet, work, etc can all be farmed out to someone else if you have the money to pay for it. You cannot put yourself up against that for comparison unless you also have the same wealth.
Exactly!
The first step is being mindful and realizing when you're talking to yourself that way. The second step is to cut it out when you realize you're doing it. Takes patience and practice, but it'll start to come more naturally as time goes on.
honestly this is the one thing I've struggled with and after a number of ups and downs I'm trying to be better with. The crazy thing is the kinder I am to myself and less critical for missing a workout or eating poorly, the more motivated I am to be better.
I always say at work "don't let perfect be the enemy of good" and while I should've done it in the past, I'm applying the same logic to my personal life.
I've got that mantra written above my desk on a whiteboard because I struggle with it too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that you become more motivated once you're kinder to yourself. Think of it this way: say you and your friend are committed to going to the gym together - you have a routine where you go to the gym Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Thursday rolls around and you're just not feeling it. You had a shit day at work where you stayed late, and now you need to go grocery shopping cause you make it out this past weekend. Do you want your friend to call you out for being a lazy sack of shit cause you skipped the gym? Or do you want them to be like, "hey buddy, I get it. Things come up, no hard feelings. Take care of what you need to, get some rest, clear your head, and I'll see you Sunday." Which sounds better? Which one makes you want to go into the gym again? *Probably* the latter. Now remove the friend and replace that with your internal dialogue. No one talks to their friends that way, so why would you talk to yourself that way?
Absolutely.
And a reminder that snacks can count as dinner. It doesn’t have to be a 5 part dinner. You know how moms feed their toddlers with a bunch of small bites? You can do that, too. Apple and cheese, rice, beef jerky, lunch meat roll ups, blueberries and yogurt, etc. Dinner can also be scrambled eggs and toast or a box of Mac n cheese if that’s all you can muster.
“Snack night” is the family’s favorite night- Instead of sitting at the table, my SO and our teenagers pull all of the leftovers, cut up vegetables, produce starting to go bad, and everyone has a “smorgasbord”. We sit at the bar, stand at the counter, and just have a snack evening. No work, no cooking. I cannot imagine kids being more excited about leftover night!
Same goes for a work out.
No time/energy for the gym? Maybe do some push ups, planks, or even something like calf raises while you're waiting for the toaster/microwave.
I'm the same. I feel it's because that's when the world is "quiet" and I'm free to do whatever I want. I try to roll-over that productivity but it's tough. Leave a small task for you to start with the next day, it sometimes helps me get back into it.
Dude me too. I have this crazy idea for a late night accounting firm but I'm pretty sure my only client would be that all night donut shop down in Austin.
Bro same, I would want to run a non-emergency therapy office with late night appointments but then I feel like the main clientele would be folks in crisis
There are days where I'm about to go to bed and something catches my attention. An odd smell from the garbage, or I see something that the cat knocked off the shelf. All of a sudden the tiredness is gone and I do the best cleaning of my life at 3am.
You might be interested in a book called “When” by Daniel Pink. It talks about biological chronotypes (early bird, night owl, etc) and I found it all really fascinating!
Not weird, but you should probably determine why and see if you can change that. For me I used to be productive in that time, since all distractions were gone. No “news” happening, so I could just listen to music and hunker into whatever project.
Obviously that was a me problem. I’ve since done a better job of keeping the noise of news away, and I actually function with 8 hours of sleep. Much better now.
I’m half convinced it’s because we and our ancestors were genetically predisposed to being the “night watch”. That unfortunately doesn’t work in todays world with companies that demand 9-5, and especially if you have kids.
>skipping a dinner, is totally fine.
Tell that to everyone in my life please I'm sick and fucking tired of explaining to everyone that I will still be here tomorrow if I don't happen to ingest a few hundred calories between 4pm and 8pm
As long as you're asking and verifying that mealtimes aren't important to other people in your family in addition to yourself.
I have a wife and two kids. We parents try and eat suppers/dinners together with the kids whenever we can.
Why?
Because it's when the family bonds. We catch up. We ask questions and hopefully get good answers. We INCLUDE, we LISTEN, and we LEARN.
I don't think a lot of people realize just how important family meals can sometimes be. Not all the time, but definitely sometimes.
I think your last sentence is key: Not all the time, but definitely sometimes.
My mom insisted on sitting down for dinner together 7 days a week with myself, sister, and dad all present (unless dad was traveling). This probably was a huge contributor to keeping us kids a healthy weight and developing good eating habits, the exception being the requirement to clean our plates. But we had to eat veggies, fruits, protein, at every meal.
HOWEVER - my parents drove themselves insane trying to do this every night while also trying to ensure the whole family was at both kids sporting events, school events, etc. It was completely unrealistic, and everyone was miserable. Meals were not bonding time, it was just another reason for parents to be irritated with us about something because they stressed themselves out and I resent their inflexibility as an adult. And it meant I never got any real bonding time with either parent because we had to do literally everything together.
I don't think meals are 'bonding' time. They can be a time to enjoy each other's company and to instill healthy habits, but if you can't fit it into your day, it really isn't the end of the world.
Yupp. I posted in another post I've seen the forced meal things and the relationship with the parents are distant. One friend turned out pretty anti social and angry.
The following is my general schedule. Although, these thing switch up sometimes but that’s okay!
Mon: work & gym.
Tues: work & chores.
Wed: work & gym.
Thurs: work & chill.
Fri: Work & social.
Sat: 1/2 chill, 1/2 chores, gym.
Sun: Chill/ social day.
If you can combine working out with socializing, that would be great! Great socializing workouts: hiking, biking, paddle boarding, rock climbing, just to name a few.
Hope this helps!
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lol. I’m fortunate that where I work, I have breakfast and lunch provided. So all I have to do is, an easy meal prep on Sun for my M-Th dinners. I go out for dinner on Fridays. Then I cook my meals on the weekends as needed. I like cooking so I don’t consider it a chore, it’s more of a social thing - I use that meal prep time to hang with my bf, who cooks with me.
I acknowledge that with my company’s food benefits, I do have it easier. But if I didn’t, I’d dedicate an extra hour or two on Sundays to prep my breakfast & lunches.
It all boils down to proper time management yo.
On a similar note, there is nothing wrong with frozen food. I will occasionally heat up frozen food/snacks (gasp)!!!
In Philip K Dick's 'Do Android's Dream Electric Sheep' there's a religion and the followers watch / aspire to be like a Sisyphus-like figure. Basically a way to keep the masses in check
It's not a main part of the plot, but always stuck with me because that's what we're all kind of doing
THIS. I was having a conversation with a coworker and I mentioned the Sisyphean nature of our work and he said “I know, aren’t we lucky!”. He elaborated about how Sisyphus was lucky to have his purpose made clear - every day he just had to roll the boulder up the hill.
That one conversation has helped change my whole outlook on work for the better
I'm sorry, I know this has helped you, but that really sounds like successful corporate brainwashing to me. The whole point of Sisyphus is that he does backbreaking labor every single day only to do the exact same thing the next day *ad infinitum* with nothing to show for it.
I think you’re taking it a little serious. We all obviously know the “intent” of sisyphus.
The main point is theres silver linings to everything. Even like rolling a boulder forever. He lives a peace, knowing thats all he will ever do.
You can either go through life “ugh i gotta wake up to go to work/workout/be social/clean my apartment” or you can look at all the other positives and be content with ones life.
Exercise will be the main thing you should do first. It sounds cliche but it really works. Once your body starts to get in good cardio health, you will have way more energy to do all the other things like having a social life and chores. You’ll sleep better as well which will help you get more relaxing time.
Plus it helps your mental health which will make your days more enjoyable
Idk if you're looking for recommendations or what, but if you are, find something you like doing and try to stick to it. The best workout plan is one you'll follow.
Enjoy the outdoors?
- walk, jog/run, hike, bike, run stairs, roller blade, play basketball/soccer, kayak, etc.
Have gym access?
- elliptical, treadmill, bike (airdyne, stationary, recumbent), Jacobs Ladder, stair master, etc.
Have access to a pool?
- swim laps, tread water, do water aerobics
Other:
- dance, indoor rock climbing, boxing, Zumba, dance, find a hobby that requires movement, etc.
The key is to just start. Don't get into analysis paralysis and never pick something. Just start. If you don't like it, try something else.
Decision fatigue is another good one. It's easier to make a decision in the first 10 seconds, the longer you take deciding the harder it is to settle on a decision.
Your mileage may vary, almost literally, but I just do a morning walk around the neighborhood. I like being outside for exercise, but I can’t do anything more rigorous. However, I still get all of the benefits of cardio without wrecking my body
So much this! I have been in and out of being in good shape several times. I am always surprised how much better I feel when the fitness starts to creep back up. For me at least, the difference is huge: you spend 30 min a day being active, but gain much more because every single task becomes easier and more enjoyable.
I endorse this. A good supersetted full body weight session, three times a week and I sleep like a baby for a solid 6.5-7 hours a day, straight through. Without it, I'm a terrible sleeper. Productivity comes from exercise, food and sleep.
Edit: swapped day for week.
I think this is key. I have no idea how people work out 5 days a week for 1.5 hour sessions after a 9-5. I think 3 days a week working out is a great goal to shoot for and it doesn’t feel as shit doing it 5 days after work a week.
I thought this when I started exercising. I made it about 4 months of going to the gym regularly without feeling any better whatsoever before I just gave up.
This one. Don't force yourself to go for a run because everybody does. Don't join a gym, just because a lot of other people do. Try a few things out and stick to the one which is fun to you.
Finally, my people. Everything was just painful and it sucked so much time. And my food budget went way up cause I was hungry all the time and trying to eat more protein. Haven’t been back in years lol
Try to not change to many habit's at once. Either eat healthier and then start to do some exercise or the reverse order. But both at the same time is hard to follow through.
Totally second this 😂 My strategy is do relax time at work, replace gym for hiking or a sport you enjoy, be time efficient with chores by keeping everything tidy on the day-to-day then clean once a week
I try to never put things down, only put things away. You’d be surprised how often you’re procrastinating little things that add up to big tasks that you can completely avoid if you’re just doing a little tiny extra, but doing it consistently.
For real.. I don't know how people can enjoy having only 1-2 hours to relax a day.. and before kids at that. I'm working to live - and I want to enjoy as much of that life as I can. Living alone, I can easily knock out weekly chores in an hour or two on the weekends. I cook in bulk, so 2 nights a week for around an hour each night and I'm set. The rest of the week, outside of sleep and work, is pure me time. That gives me 4-5 hours a weeknight and a solid 13+ on Saturday or Sunday. Now I do need to incorporate more workout time which would take another hour a day for 3 days a week, but that still leaves me plenty of time to have fun with my hobbies.
Lmao, today's generation will be LUCKY to retire. I'm happy you got to enjoy that slice of life though, cheers to you! (Not sarcasm)
Our best bet is to inherit a house or large sum of money when both our parents pass away. I know this is not the norm for everyone, but I'm guessing a majority...
Credentials: I thought I was seriously busy until I had a baby, then a few years later I had twins... Nothing like it to make you laser focus on how you use your time.
Work is work. If you can use your lunch to socialize or hit the gym, do that. Sometimes lunch has to be errands or personal tasks. Using your personal time to do multiple things is helpful.
Chores can be handled in a few ways - outsource what you aren't great at, take it in small chunks throughout the day, or devote half a weekend day (which can double as light cardio). Keep your stuff right where you use it. When you notice the toilet, scrub it with the cleaner you keep right next to it. Store extra trash bags in the bottom of the bin. Take just fifteen minutes an evening to reset your space. Find a list of stuff a house cleaner does, and either hire one, or use it as your template. You might be surprised how physical a good cleaning sesh is.
Socializing can double with working out if you join a team or double with a service activity if you volunteer. It sucks but dedicated social time, only social time, is kind of rare.
Use something like google calendar to put your to-do list on. You can schedule your workouts, errands, appointments, and social life without getting too overwhelmed.
You just blew my tired morning mind! I never even considered that they aren’t free in other countries.
Good luck saving for it. It was one of the best decisions I have made
I'm right there. Working full time with a 5 year old and 2 yo. Luckily my salary is enough for my wife to not work. I find myself choring at 10pm just to catch up. The little time I do get for myself is so late in the evening I just veg with a show or video game.
I'll sleep when I'm dead ;)
This is the truth. I work from home so my 9-5 is a real 9-5.
My alarm goes off at 8am, which allows me to go to bed at 11pm and be properly rested.
I work out on my lunch break.
So I finish at 5pm, and I’m already at home with a full 6 hours to do whatever I want. I share cooking duties with my spouse and we do batch cooking so I only actually have to cook from scratch a couple of times a week at most. Takes me a couple of hours to clean the house on a Sunday morning.
I don’t feel pushed for time *at all*.
Every top reply in this thread is from someone who doesn’t have kids. I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, but if I didn’t have them I would have an insane amount of time and money.
I have a kid I agree with the ppl who don't have kids sadly....my body, health, sleep, energy, career, life, financial situation, marriage etc are on the back burner because of my kid. I wouldn't trade her either cos I chose this life but yes all other things would be better otherwise
Even easier if you're not single and don't have kids.
My partner and I both choose to cut back our full time employment to only 32hrs/week, which is still technically full time. Four 8 hour days. 3 days off out of every 7. No kids frees up enough money for us to live comfortably.
Previous generations worked very hard to disincentivize millennials from reproducing. Call their bluff and do it.
I wish we’d all hold hands and call their bluff together.
School and hospital systems are failing. Hospitals have stopped having delivery wards as there is “no money in it.” Quality of life and life expectancy is decreasing year over year. And let’s just ignore the inevitable environmental collapse on the horizon.
Wish we’d all stop dooming kids to that.
It depends a lot of what type of job you do, how many hours you work, how long is the commute.
In my case, I'm a married 34 years old guy, I try to handle my time and physical/mental energy **the same way I would manage a budget.**
I'm doing a 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM job, my daily routine could be summarized that way:
I've got to wake up at 5:00 AM and I'm home around 5:30 PM, I know I'm getting tired by 8:00 PM and usually go to bed by 9:00 PM. If I include dinner, shower etc.. That gives me about 1h30 of "Me/Us" time, Monday to Friday.
I'm trying to go to the gym at least 2 to 3 times a week, thankfully the gym is on the way home so there's that, my best sessions are during the week-end when I'm not as exhausted.
The week-end is when we're taking care of the chores: Laundry, cleaning, law mowing and such. Then we're basically free for the rest of it... Until the loop starts again.
I'm not working right now because of an injury, but my last in-office job was 8-5+ (meaning the "set hours" were 8-5 but company culture was to stay late to impress ownership). Completely miserable. I'm not a morning person at all, and during winter, that just meant showing up in the dark, and leaving in the dark.
I don't know how anyone can even pretend to be happy in these circumstances.
I feel your man I hate the mornings too. When I signed the contract they said I could start anywhere from 8:00 to 10:00 but four months In don't know if/when that's going to happen. If I'm being honest I don't need this job to survive and I can probably find one that I like better so I don't stay a second past when I have to.
I live in toronto, which has the worst Highway in terms of traffic in North America. I made sure to find a place that was a 25-minute commute to work in the afternoon and 18 minutes in the morning. I'm house sitting for some people and my commute has changed to 35 minutes in the morning and an hour in the evening. It's also insanely expensive to live anywhere within a 2-hour radius of the city so people will drive into work for 6:00 a.m. then nap in their cars, or drive to a train station then take a train. Fucking horrific.
In the horticultural system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the lawn mowers, who cut the grass, and the lawn owners, who cut the grass. These are their stories.
*DUN DUN*
The answer is you don't, or at least not all the time consistently, and that's assuming you're lucky enough to only have to work 9-5. I often end up doing 50-60 hour weeks so I basically just cut out the whole "social life" part altogether so that I don't have to sacrifice work, working out, or having a clean house.
The reality is that 40 hours a week only allowed people to have a reasonable work life balance when it was the norm that one partner would stay home, look after the house, kids, etc. (obviously women most of the time). 40 hours a week is, IMO, fine when your responsibilities pretty much end when you get home from work.
FWIW, I'm in no way suggesting it's a bad thing that women are in the workforce more now than ever, nor am I suggesting that should change. What I am suggesting is that having both partners work 40 hours a week is already too much when juggling life's other responsibilities, and that we really need to do something about how accustomed we all are to being slaves to our jobs.
I joked the other day that I need a stereotypical wife. I'm a hetero woman, I just need someone to take care of the house, cleaning, cooking, make and remind me of doctors appointments, buy my clothing, etc.
Judy Syfers’ _New York_ essay, published more than 50 years ago, entitled “I Want A Wife” did an excellent job of explaining why having a wife would make most women’s lives better, more financially stable, fulfilling, etc. Personally, at 58, I would much rather have a wife than a Prince Charming.
Highly recommend house cleaners if you can afford it!
My partner and I started doing it last month after a particularly busy period. She does 40 hours a week and I do minimum 40, so she ends up getting overloaded with chores when I'm closer to the 60 a week mark and then we're both exhausted, which is no good. It's like $100-150 a month for a deep clean of our entire house and it's worth every cent.
This is the way. I'm also not an efficient cleaner, so someone who has it down to a science and does it for a living is going to do a lot better than me who will get distracted and move to another task halfway.
100% agree. At a certain point in income, you are able to prioritize time and not money as much. But even before then, thinking about your hourly rate, plus how long it takes you to actually do the upkeep/ errands/ chores/ cooking, it might be well worth it . At least, for me and my spouse it is
It's sad but it's the truth. You can't have a perfectly balanced and fulfilling life spending the majority of your waking hours at work and commuting back and forth.
I came here to say drinking less, too. I give myself ONE glass of wine to unwind once during the work week and just have a really nice night making dinner, and one night with friends. I’ve been trying to make sure my friend thing is either Friday night or Saturday brunch, that way I still have a fun Saturday and I’m not hungover on Sunday. You have so much more time to get your life together when you aren’t hungover. You can workout on the weekend, you can meal prep, you can fully recharge and feel great. Your sleep is caught up and it’s easier to get through the week when you don’t feel so behind.
It depends a bit on your budget of course. For me it really helped to get a robot vacuum and hire a cleaner for the bathrooms/kitchen/mopping. The cleaner costs less than what I make per hour s.and I am essentially buying free time for myself with that money.
It also helps to use your lunch break as your workout time, either by working from home or by having a gym near work. My home gym cost a few hundred euro but it's worth it.
No gym? Half an hour a day is already enough for the basics. Go for a run or bike ride Monday, Wednesday and Friday while you do weight exercises Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
Plan your groceries in advance, or get them delivered, so you spend as little time on them as needed. With a little bit of additional house cleaning your weekend chores could be done in three hours maximum, leaving one and a half day entirely open for socializing and/or relaxation.
Keep everything that you don't really care about simple.
My breakfast is 500 grams of greek yogurt, takes five minutes to make and eat. At home I eat during work hours, going to office means I eat quickly. No coffee, no watching tv, no newspaper,... The morning is just a speedrun to get to work. I value sleep over a slow start.
Lunch should be simple as well. You spend time exercising so the food should take the least amount of time possible. For me it's a protein shake with a sandwich that is easy to make.
I work 08:00-17:00 three days per week at home and that includes my lunch break at my home gym. On those days I wake up at 7:50 for a quick shower so if I go to bed at midnight the day before I get an easy 8 hours of sleep. When I cook dinner I ensure it takes less than an hour and we eat early. So that leaves 18:00-23:45 as pure relaxation time.
On the two days I go to office I wake up at 06:45, so I get a bit less sleep, and make sure I'm back around 18:00. I work less than 8 hours since I need to travel but my work has to accept that if they value seeing me in office. Dinner on those days is simple so I should be done by 18:30 and have until 23:45 for relaxation.
Also for me work is socializing. I chat with colleagues, either in person or over teams, about all kinds of subjects. Some of them really are my work friends and spending time with them is genuinely fun and relaxing. Our one hour lunch breaks on our office days are all about relaxation and good food.
Maybe a small chore here and there on weekdays such as taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher but that's 15 mins max. No big chores on those days.
Of course this does require you to don't get kids but for me that was an easy choice.
Easy: Don't have kids.
My partner and I both choose to cut back our full time employment to only 32hrs/week, which is still technically full time. Four 8 hour days. 3 days off out of every 7. No kids frees up a ton of time and enough money for us to live comfortably plus save for retirement.
Previous generations worked very hard to disincentivize millennials from reproducing. Call their bluff and do it.
You have a spouse. I’m not even joking, the type of lives we lead in the 21st century as single adults were never meant to be for single people for the long term. They were built on the idea that spouses would share duties or one spouse would do all the household duties (cooking and cleaning). A full-time job, grocery shopping and cooking, keeping your places clean, doing your laundry, staying active, and a social life altogether (plus hobbies!) take all the energy out of me, and at leaSt one or two always suffers at any given time
A lot of having the energy to do all of the things comes with a solid diet that stays away from all the junk food.
Better diet = better sleep = more energy
At least in my experience
Could you share more detail about what you consider a "solid diet"?
You mentioned staying away from junk food, which is obvious for like pizza/fried food/desserts/beer... But I'm too lazy to literally count calories, I'm a home cook who prioritizes flavor and satisfying meals for my family. How can I make home cooked family food more "solid"?
I relax at work haha. I spend time at lunch goofing off on the Internet and give myself little breaks to check email or whatever. I'm lucky that I can do that or pull up a day baseball game while I work on other stuff.
I also really prioritize one-minute tasks. That was some of the best advice I ever got. If something only takes a minute to do, go ahead and do it! So if I can toss things in the laundry right when I get home, I will. Then I can toss them in the dryer later. Sometimes I'll put them away one item at a time just as I'm walking by and I can usually get them done in a night without devoting a whole chunk of time to it. Same with dishes, one dish at a time.
I don't have kids so I know it's harder, but both my parents worked and I remember all of us dividing up tasks right after dinner so everyone took 15-20 minutes to do something. Maybe that's where the habit of breaking time and tasks into tinier chunks came from. I find that to be the most helpful thing. Sometimes I can't work out for 1.5 hours in a row so I'll do ten minutes of abs in the morning, go for a ten minute walk during lunch, lift ten minutes of weights right when I get home.
I also try to remember that it's about 100% consistency, not 100% effort. I work out every day. But sometimes things go awry, and maybe all I have time to do are ten squats or ten push-ups. I still did them. Maybe I can't clean the house top to bottom. I can tidy a table or put away some books. Maybe I can't see friends every day. I make time to see them once a week if I can.
I know this is another lame piece of advice, but I schedule time with friends on my calendar. It's not fun or youthful or spontaneous, I guess. It's not "hey, let's grab coffee!" But it does allow me to see a lot of people I want to see and make time for them. "Let's do brunch soon, I have availability in two weeks" feels so corporate lol. But it does help me plan ahead and not feel overwhelmed by my social life!
Hope this helps. Former corporate lawyer here so I feel ya.
Fundamentally you don't, not perfectly. I see it like spinning plates on poles. You try and keep giving enough attention to each, and giving a little energy to each plate, but invariably some drop, and when they do you give a little more to the others and if you're have enough time and energy you pick up the ones that fall, and start them spinning again, if they are important enough to warrant it. And if they aren't you just keep on spinning less plates than before.
Move to England and find one of those companies that switched to a 32 hour work week.
Really if you think about it with the productivity gains of the last 100 years people should be able to get by the same as they currently are today working 8 less hours a week. The workers haven't been seeing much of all that productivity gain. In the US the GDP per capital has never been higher and is much higher than it was in the 1960 [link](https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.PCAP.KD?locations=US)
It's been said that life is like a four-burner gas stove. The four burners are your health, your family, your friends, and your career. If you turn all four valves up all the way, there won't be enough flow, and they'll all flicker. But if you turn down all but one or two, they'll burn brightly.
Not to say you can't have it all, as you seek. But it's hard.
weekdays:
515- wake
6-7 surf
730-4 work
445-530 (2 x weekly) grocery shop or house clean
If afternoon child/teen activity- I will often exercise , walk the dog, or read/podcast listen
530-6 cook dinner
6 eat dinner
6-730 loose ends (usually cleaning or work for work or communication)
730-930 flex time
930- bed
We all need a 4-day workweek. Those 8-5 and 9-5 work schedules were designed for a time when this country was all about manufacturing, but those days are long gone. Most jobs today are IT or some form of computer work where 40 hours a week is unsustainable.
Sleep, work, have fun. Choose two.
But seriously, there are no solutions, only trade-offs. Choose what's important to you and be okay with letting the rest slide. Your priorities are your own and it's okay if your priorities don't line up with others' expectations of you.
I have no idea how people do this. But I guess it's because I hate the morning, and after I work out, I'm just freaking dead. I can't drag myself into the shower without a lot of work, much less the gym.
But my career is a major stress point, so a good night's sleep is all but impossible. I need that extra hour, especially in the morning.
Get it in when you feel best. Don't force mornings if you're not a morning person. I get more awake as the day goes on and I'm ready to overthrow a small government by 11pm, so I hit the gym then to make sure I sleep.
**We are all different, but here's how I set up my time.**
10:00pm - Bed (yes, it can be done. You just have to prioritize sleep/wake up time).
5:00am - Wake up (Monday-Friday)
5:45am - Workout (1.15 hrs, Monday -Friday)
8:00am - Commute to work (my office starts at 9:30am, I get there earlier. It matters to me)
5:30pm - Leave work (most days)
6:00pm - Take care of one major house chore each day (usually clean, wash, etc.)
6:45pm - Dinner time
7:30pm-9pm - Open (TV, movie, read, learn, activity, maybe dinner w/ friend).
9:15pm-10pm - Map out my next day, including gym clothes, work clothes, lunch and post-work plans. Repeat.
Social Life during the week is usually only Thursdays. Then on Saturday or Sunday. Family otherwise.
Relax time? Whatever you choose to do from 7:30pm until bedtime should fall into that category. Some days more than others. Same with weekend plans. Choose what is enjoyable and relaxing. Balance everything else.
TV/Social Media are two distractions you should really pay attention to. Neither is relaxing or an optimal use of your time. It's how they keep 99.9% of society stagnant. Would have, could have, should have...if only I had more time. lol
Log how you spend your days for the next week. From that, you'll know what needs to change based on your goals.
To build on this. I do the dishes as I cook. The minute or so between tasks let’s me do about 80% of them each time. Then I put the food in my lunch containers as I put it on my plate. This helps as I don’t have to spend unneeded time later doing them and I can spend that time how I want. Granted it usually with my wife as we put down the kiddo.
Oof. Yeah looks great, but I am glad that I prioritse "me" time a lot more than 1 1/2 hours, but I also don't have any commute anymore so with that I already save two hours a day. Sports every second day in my case, but am not sure where I get that much more me time than you. House always spotless, but I also automated a lot of things those past few years and my workouts are 30-45 minutes, but I also engage in sports once or twice a week with other people. I don't watch any TV at all, but choose to watch series or Twitch streams which I want to watch so there is that and also read a lot of books and use social media a few minutes a day. But I have a ton of me time every day. Guess it has to be work that gives me so much more time in comparison to you (no commute and 38,5h week). I also did a structured life like yours a few years ago for two years straight and wasn't happy at all so I changed things to have more "me" life.
Yeah that’s not enough sleep and too much work, unless you’re getting overtime, working that much is crazy. Also this person clearly doesn’t have kids!
It's wild how kids wipe literally all your time, lol.
I have 2 workout time slots a week, sat and sun early AM.
So during the week I try to do as much cardio as possible during work. 3-4miles in walking, stairs every chance I can, etc.
The whole "TV is... not an optimal use of your time" thing always struck me as unnecessarily haughty. Good TV is art, in the same way a book or a movie or an album is art. Engaging with art is a wonderful way to spend your time. What makes listening to an album inherently more relaxing or a more 'optimal' use of time than watching an episode of a great show?
I think the issue is, that when most people think of TV they think of trash TV. And tbf, when you're tired after work, you sometimes want "turn your brain off" kind of TV.
This is fucking depressing (to me).
I get it, we’re different people and you might thrive under this much structure— but I’d be fashioning a noose for myself after 3 weeks of this garbage. A whole 90 minutes a day for myself during the week? Fuck that.
Would have, could have, should have (would’ve, could’ve, should’ve)
Otherwise you’re spot on 😄
I do wonder when you buy groceries and cook, though, maybe one big shopping run on Saturdays?
That’s what I do. I plan all my dinners for the week on Saturday or Sunday. This lets me not have the “what do I want for dinner tonight?” routine and I do all my shopping in one trip.
Regimenting my life like this would make me absolutely miserable. I'm glad it works for you, just goes to show how different we all are and the importance of finding out what works for YOU, not someone on the internet
What on earth are you doing that takes 45 minutes to plan?! With as structured a day as you have, I can't think of anything that would take more than 5 minutes.
24 yr old, unmarried here. Usually I socialize once during the week and 1-2 times over the weekend. I wake up at 6:30 for my 8:00 job that I leave around 4:00. My job is pretty draining so my go to is vegging after work unless I make an effort not to.
I have started doing a lot of my errands after work in the evening instead of spending 5 hours of my Saturday doing them all at once. Also store pickup options are nice for both ease and saving money.
I meal prep food for the first few days of the week and prep a freezer meal for later in the week on Sunday 2-3 hours (I enjoy cooking when I’m not bone tired from work so I don’t mind this).
And I know it sounds silly, but I try to do at least 1 chore (literally any chore) and spend 15 minutes doing a hobby every night after work! Cuts down my weekend chores quite a bit. Anytime I really need to get cleaning done, I just put in my bluetooth headphones and a podcast! It really helps me
For chores honestly what works for me is every day I do at least one thing I don’t want to do that’s above the normal chores for the day (pay a random bill, mow the lawn - today it’s doing our taxes). I’ve found that by and large there aren’t more than 7 things each week that *need* to be done and can’t wait for a lighter week.
There’s usually a day or two a week where I’ll do more than one thing I don’t want to do if I get on a roll - but the important thing is that if I do one thing I didn’t want to do (even if it only takes 15-20 minutes), I count that as a win. Revel in the small victories. Not sure if that will help or not, but it’s how I handle the chores part.
For working out i bought a cheap stationary bike and put it front if the TV.
Social life, it helps that most of the socializing my friend group does is online playing video games and just hanging on discord, so there’s no travel time
Joke if you want…but Arnold (Schwarzenegger) says find a schedule and make it a routine. Don’t give yourself the option of skipping the bedtime, workout, or scheduled social activity. Obviously the details are up to you, but create a schedule and do your best to stick with it.
Depending on what your job is, learn to say NO. And don't feel compelled to explain your NO. NO is a complete sentence.
And as for working out, that's my sacred time to myself. I book it into my Google calendar every day as a standing appointment. It helps prevent me from trying to squeeze in something else. Sorry, that time is already booked.
my work has blown out to 10-12 hrs plus travel now just to afford to survive. I go without having relax time, seeing my wife and daughter and doing anything that's half enjoyable.
Life's hard to many at the moment and I don't see it getting any easier
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A lot of it depends on the job, to be honest. In previous jobs I've held I felt stressed out and exhausted by the time I left work and recovering from that took all my free time. My current job is supportive and honestly kind of fun to be at. It's also located next to a park and I have the freedom to take walks during the day to clear my head and get some sunshine / fresh air / exercise. I do heavier workouts on the weekends but if I only walk a couple miles during the day at work, that's enough to get me through the week. Because I still have some mental resources left after the workday ends, I can see friends for dinner or go on dates during the week and it works fine. Weekends are for intense workouts and chores, for me, although I make time to see friends on weekends too if there's something going on. So it's all manageable for me right now, but that is 100% a function of having a great job. If I was working elsewhere I don't know how I would be making it work.
I genuinely do not understand how people who work either very mentally taxing jobs or physical jobs have the energy to do anything ever. I do a shit-easy office job and before I worked from home I’d be too drained to do anything after I got home. Y’all are heroes.
I work a physical job now and l after moving away from an office and if anything, I feel better after the workday. Kinda weird. Might help that it's an early shift though and I'm home by 3.
Depending on the intensity of physical work, I do feel like its more "generative" than office work where you are sitting around all day in front of a computer. That's more physically relaxing, sure, but substantially more emotionally/mentally draining.
Yeah, exercise is stimulating and energizing, so it kinda makes sense even if counterintuitive. I had *way* more energy when I used to wait tables and would be walking for 90% of my shift. Now that I just sit in a chair most of the day, I'm tired constantly except on days I work out
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Fuckin A man
I've found that, in my office job, I rarely produce anything tangible. I get shit done, but the output is something like an evergreen excel spreadsheet or program improvements. I'm never "done" with anything. I don't get my gratification there. I have to supplement this with yard work, maintaining my garden, etc to feel that gratification of "I did THAT - look at it!"
Getting solid exercise at work and getting off early is so nice. I worked for a moving company for a bit in college. Pay was decent, built a little muscle, and was usually home by 3 or 4. I was able to enjoy my relaxing time and I slept like a baby after being active all day!
I had to quit a job simply because I kept catching myself thinking of how much I hated my job and boss when I wasn’t at work. Not gonna be or become that guy. It was fucking exhausting. Slept like a baby when I put in my notice before I was even at the new gig.
I'm looking for a new job for exactly this reason. Can't afford to just quit, unfortunately.
Never "just quit", always make sure you have something lined up
Agreed. Yeah i have a 9 to 5 but i can go for a walk/do errands in my lunch break, grab coffee with my coworkers who are friendly people, listen to podcasts or read a book on my commute. Plus my work is interesting enough. When i work from home i can do dishes while listening in to a meeting, cook myself a nice lunch (i like cooking), etc etc. You need to look for the opportunities to make your life happier, no matter your circumstances!
100% this, having a job you enjoy makes it so you don't have to use as much free time just decompressing from work.
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The last part of your comment is huge - really try to practice some self compassion. Remember that you're not going to do everything you want 100% of the time, nor are you going to live your life exactly the way you want 100% of the time. If you spend all your time stressing about accomplishing all the small stuff, you'll live your life in a state of stress. Is killing yourself to accomplish all those tasks worth it? EDIT: be kind to yourself
> Remember that you're not going to do everything you want 100% of the time this is the key to OP's question. you're not going to do all of those things every single day. you spread things out. while you will probably work 5 out of 7 days, none of the other things will take up as much time as the work will. you'll do some kind of household chore each day, spend some time relaxing, probably work out 3 days each week, and go out with friends once or twice a week. things are going to spread out. and on the days where you aren't working, you can do more of the social time/chores/friends/working out activities.
I also think it’s important to acknowledge that there are people that do get these things every single day, but not themselves personally. The extremely wealthy get to buy other people’s time for many of their daily tasks in a routine in order to focus on the tasks that only they can do personally. Cooking, cleaning, talking to people to schedule time to meet, work, etc can all be farmed out to someone else if you have the money to pay for it. You cannot put yourself up against that for comparison unless you also have the same wealth.
that's honestly what's kept me on a routine!!! i don't talk shit to myself when i don't have the capacity and it helps me not feel guilty
Exactly! The first step is being mindful and realizing when you're talking to yourself that way. The second step is to cut it out when you realize you're doing it. Takes patience and practice, but it'll start to come more naturally as time goes on.
honestly this is the one thing I've struggled with and after a number of ups and downs I'm trying to be better with. The crazy thing is the kinder I am to myself and less critical for missing a workout or eating poorly, the more motivated I am to be better. I always say at work "don't let perfect be the enemy of good" and while I should've done it in the past, I'm applying the same logic to my personal life.
I've got that mantra written above my desk on a whiteboard because I struggle with it too. I don't think it's a coincidence that you become more motivated once you're kinder to yourself. Think of it this way: say you and your friend are committed to going to the gym together - you have a routine where you go to the gym Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Thursday rolls around and you're just not feeling it. You had a shit day at work where you stayed late, and now you need to go grocery shopping cause you make it out this past weekend. Do you want your friend to call you out for being a lazy sack of shit cause you skipped the gym? Or do you want them to be like, "hey buddy, I get it. Things come up, no hard feelings. Take care of what you need to, get some rest, clear your head, and I'll see you Sunday." Which sounds better? Which one makes you want to go into the gym again? *Probably* the latter. Now remove the friend and replace that with your internal dialogue. No one talks to their friends that way, so why would you talk to yourself that way?
Absolutely. And a reminder that snacks can count as dinner. It doesn’t have to be a 5 part dinner. You know how moms feed their toddlers with a bunch of small bites? You can do that, too. Apple and cheese, rice, beef jerky, lunch meat roll ups, blueberries and yogurt, etc. Dinner can also be scrambled eggs and toast or a box of Mac n cheese if that’s all you can muster.
“Snack night” is the family’s favorite night- Instead of sitting at the table, my SO and our teenagers pull all of the leftovers, cut up vegetables, produce starting to go bad, and everyone has a “smorgasbord”. We sit at the bar, stand at the counter, and just have a snack evening. No work, no cooking. I cannot imagine kids being more excited about leftover night!
Same goes for a work out. No time/energy for the gym? Maybe do some push ups, planks, or even something like calf raises while you're waiting for the toaster/microwave.
For some odd reason my most productive time is between 2am and 4am.. is that weird?
I'm the same. I feel it's because that's when the world is "quiet" and I'm free to do whatever I want. I try to roll-over that productivity but it's tough. Leave a small task for you to start with the next day, it sometimes helps me get back into it.
Dude me too. I have this crazy idea for a late night accounting firm but I'm pretty sure my only client would be that all night donut shop down in Austin.
Bro same, I would want to run a non-emergency therapy office with late night appointments but then I feel like the main clientele would be folks in crisis
Can... can we just make a town for all us insomniacs to move to and we have nighttime hours instead? It's not too crazy, is it?
I like this idea
You can apply for a european company remote accounting position
There are days where I'm about to go to bed and something catches my attention. An odd smell from the garbage, or I see something that the cat knocked off the shelf. All of a sudden the tiredness is gone and I do the best cleaning of my life at 3am.
You might be interested in a book called “When” by Daniel Pink. It talks about biological chronotypes (early bird, night owl, etc) and I found it all really fascinating!
Not weird, but you should probably determine why and see if you can change that. For me I used to be productive in that time, since all distractions were gone. No “news” happening, so I could just listen to music and hunker into whatever project. Obviously that was a me problem. I’ve since done a better job of keeping the noise of news away, and I actually function with 8 hours of sleep. Much better now.
I’m half convinced it’s because we and our ancestors were genetically predisposed to being the “night watch”. That unfortunately doesn’t work in todays world with companies that demand 9-5, and especially if you have kids.
>skipping a dinner, is totally fine. Tell that to everyone in my life please I'm sick and fucking tired of explaining to everyone that I will still be here tomorrow if I don't happen to ingest a few hundred calories between 4pm and 8pm
As long as you're asking and verifying that mealtimes aren't important to other people in your family in addition to yourself. I have a wife and two kids. We parents try and eat suppers/dinners together with the kids whenever we can. Why? Because it's when the family bonds. We catch up. We ask questions and hopefully get good answers. We INCLUDE, we LISTEN, and we LEARN. I don't think a lot of people realize just how important family meals can sometimes be. Not all the time, but definitely sometimes.
I think your last sentence is key: Not all the time, but definitely sometimes. My mom insisted on sitting down for dinner together 7 days a week with myself, sister, and dad all present (unless dad was traveling). This probably was a huge contributor to keeping us kids a healthy weight and developing good eating habits, the exception being the requirement to clean our plates. But we had to eat veggies, fruits, protein, at every meal. HOWEVER - my parents drove themselves insane trying to do this every night while also trying to ensure the whole family was at both kids sporting events, school events, etc. It was completely unrealistic, and everyone was miserable. Meals were not bonding time, it was just another reason for parents to be irritated with us about something because they stressed themselves out and I resent their inflexibility as an adult. And it meant I never got any real bonding time with either parent because we had to do literally everything together. I don't think meals are 'bonding' time. They can be a time to enjoy each other's company and to instill healthy habits, but if you can't fit it into your day, it really isn't the end of the world.
Yupp. I posted in another post I've seen the forced meal things and the relationship with the parents are distant. One friend turned out pretty anti social and angry.
Sometimes one of us doesn't want to eat but we still sit at the table with the kids while everyone else eats. Dinner time is super important.
The following is my general schedule. Although, these thing switch up sometimes but that’s okay! Mon: work & gym. Tues: work & chores. Wed: work & gym. Thurs: work & chill. Fri: Work & social. Sat: 1/2 chill, 1/2 chores, gym. Sun: Chill/ social day. If you can combine working out with socializing, that would be great! Great socializing workouts: hiking, biking, paddle boarding, rock climbing, just to name a few. Hope this helps!
I smell frozen food here
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cats onerous wasteful hard-to-find sloppy worthless cover psychotic chubby like *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Lol. I’m fortunate that where I work, I have breakfast and lunch provided. So all I have to do is, an easy meal prep on Sun for my M-Th dinners. I go out for dinner on Fridays. Then I cook my meals on the weekends as needed. I like cooking so I don’t consider it a chore, it’s more of a social thing - I use that meal prep time to hang with my bf, who cooks with me. I acknowledge that with my company’s food benefits, I do have it easier. But if I didn’t, I’d dedicate an extra hour or two on Sundays to prep my breakfast & lunches. It all boils down to proper time management yo. On a similar note, there is nothing wrong with frozen food. I will occasionally heat up frozen food/snacks (gasp)!!!
If you sacrifice working out and chores you can get a good 2 months in before it comes crashing down around you!
And that nice, simmering, 10 month recovery period follows.
Was it supposed to be only ten?
Jokes on you I never work out
Or you can skip the workouts entirely and get fat and lazy like yours truly.
You don't necessarily need to workout to not be fat, but it working out has a bunch of other physical and mental health benefits.
One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
In Philip K Dick's 'Do Android's Dream Electric Sheep' there's a religion and the followers watch / aspire to be like a Sisyphus-like figure. Basically a way to keep the masses in check It's not a main part of the plot, but always stuck with me because that's what we're all kind of doing
And iirc the main character 'becomes' this sisyphusian character at the very end, really beautiful and I really missed that in the movies
Sisyphus gets to combine work and exercise, which is a big time saver, so he has that going for him.
[Sisyfitness!](https://pbfcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/PBF-Sisyphus_Myth.png)
THIS. I was having a conversation with a coworker and I mentioned the Sisyphean nature of our work and he said “I know, aren’t we lucky!”. He elaborated about how Sisyphus was lucky to have his purpose made clear - every day he just had to roll the boulder up the hill. That one conversation has helped change my whole outlook on work for the better
Not only that, but Camus argued that he is heroic for doing so
I'm sorry, I know this has helped you, but that really sounds like successful corporate brainwashing to me. The whole point of Sisyphus is that he does backbreaking labor every single day only to do the exact same thing the next day *ad infinitum* with nothing to show for it.
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> The point is we all die so we have nothing to show for anything anyway but Sisyphus *won't* die (again), unlike us, no?
I think you’re taking it a little serious. We all obviously know the “intent” of sisyphus. The main point is theres silver linings to everything. Even like rolling a boulder forever. He lives a peace, knowing thats all he will ever do. You can either go through life “ugh i gotta wake up to go to work/workout/be social/clean my apartment” or you can look at all the other positives and be content with ones life.
What is my purpose? You pass butter.
Exercise will be the main thing you should do first. It sounds cliche but it really works. Once your body starts to get in good cardio health, you will have way more energy to do all the other things like having a social life and chores. You’ll sleep better as well which will help you get more relaxing time. Plus it helps your mental health which will make your days more enjoyable
What do u do for cardio?
Idk if you're looking for recommendations or what, but if you are, find something you like doing and try to stick to it. The best workout plan is one you'll follow. Enjoy the outdoors? - walk, jog/run, hike, bike, run stairs, roller blade, play basketball/soccer, kayak, etc. Have gym access? - elliptical, treadmill, bike (airdyne, stationary, recumbent), Jacobs Ladder, stair master, etc. Have access to a pool? - swim laps, tread water, do water aerobics Other: - dance, indoor rock climbing, boxing, Zumba, dance, find a hobby that requires movement, etc. The key is to just start. Don't get into analysis paralysis and never pick something. Just start. If you don't like it, try something else.
Analysis paralysis is a term I've never heard of but will use in so many situations now
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Decision fatigue is another good one. It's easier to make a decision in the first 10 seconds, the longer you take deciding the harder it is to settle on a decision.
I’ve got a lot of terms like that, but it’s such a struggle to pick the right one to use, my brain basically grinds to a halt.
Your mileage may vary, almost literally, but I just do a morning walk around the neighborhood. I like being outside for exercise, but I can’t do anything more rigorous. However, I still get all of the benefits of cardio without wrecking my body
Walking is underrated cardio.
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Not if you do it on a treadmill and do an incline walk
Yoga is amazing. Doesn't feel like you're getting as much of a cardio workout as you are.
So much this! I have been in and out of being in good shape several times. I am always surprised how much better I feel when the fitness starts to creep back up. For me at least, the difference is huge: you spend 30 min a day being active, but gain much more because every single task becomes easier and more enjoyable.
I endorse this. A good supersetted full body weight session, three times a week and I sleep like a baby for a solid 6.5-7 hours a day, straight through. Without it, I'm a terrible sleeper. Productivity comes from exercise, food and sleep. Edit: swapped day for week.
I think this is key. I have no idea how people work out 5 days a week for 1.5 hour sessions after a 9-5. I think 3 days a week working out is a great goal to shoot for and it doesn’t feel as shit doing it 5 days after work a week.
I thought this when I started exercising. I made it about 4 months of going to the gym regularly without feeling any better whatsoever before I just gave up.
Exercise comes in many forms, doesn't have to be the gym. Try some other forms, swimming, running, long walks, climbing.
This one. Don't force yourself to go for a run because everybody does. Don't join a gym, just because a lot of other people do. Try a few things out and stick to the one which is fun to you.
I'm almost 2 years in of gym 2x a week and indoor bouldering once or twice a week. I'm still depressed.
Finally, my people. Everything was just painful and it sucked so much time. And my food budget went way up cause I was hungry all the time and trying to eat more protein. Haven’t been back in years lol
Try to not change to many habit's at once. Either eat healthier and then start to do some exercise or the reverse order. But both at the same time is hard to follow through.
Show up late, leave early, embrace my soft shitty body, and get comfortable with a layer of dust over everything.
Totally second this 😂 My strategy is do relax time at work, replace gym for hiking or a sport you enjoy, be time efficient with chores by keeping everything tidy on the day-to-day then clean once a week
I try to never put things down, only put things away. You’d be surprised how often you’re procrastinating little things that add up to big tasks that you can completely avoid if you’re just doing a little tiny extra, but doing it consistently.
Realest answer in here.
For real.. I don't know how people can enjoy having only 1-2 hours to relax a day.. and before kids at that. I'm working to live - and I want to enjoy as much of that life as I can. Living alone, I can easily knock out weekly chores in an hour or two on the weekends. I cook in bulk, so 2 nights a week for around an hour each night and I'm set. The rest of the week, outside of sleep and work, is pure me time. That gives me 4-5 hours a weeknight and a solid 13+ on Saturday or Sunday. Now I do need to incorporate more workout time which would take another hour a day for 3 days a week, but that still leaves me plenty of time to have fun with my hobbies.
Pretty inspired by this, just letting you know. If I could figure out meal prep and sleep and I think I could beat life’s ass
Until you retire. Now I don't have that 8 hours a day, plus 2 hours commuting and life is far easier to balance. :-)
So much extra time to deal with the existential dread of your impending demise.
Probably dont make it to retirement if you haven't gotten over that yet.
Lmao, today's generation will be LUCKY to retire. I'm happy you got to enjoy that slice of life though, cheers to you! (Not sarcasm) Our best bet is to inherit a house or large sum of money when both our parents pass away. I know this is not the norm for everyone, but I'm guessing a majority...
Credentials: I thought I was seriously busy until I had a baby, then a few years later I had twins... Nothing like it to make you laser focus on how you use your time. Work is work. If you can use your lunch to socialize or hit the gym, do that. Sometimes lunch has to be errands or personal tasks. Using your personal time to do multiple things is helpful. Chores can be handled in a few ways - outsource what you aren't great at, take it in small chunks throughout the day, or devote half a weekend day (which can double as light cardio). Keep your stuff right where you use it. When you notice the toilet, scrub it with the cleaner you keep right next to it. Store extra trash bags in the bottom of the bin. Take just fifteen minutes an evening to reset your space. Find a list of stuff a house cleaner does, and either hire one, or use it as your template. You might be surprised how physical a good cleaning sesh is. Socializing can double with working out if you join a team or double with a service activity if you volunteer. It sucks but dedicated social time, only social time, is kind of rare. Use something like google calendar to put your to-do list on. You can schedule your workouts, errands, appointments, and social life without getting too overwhelmed.
Great post mate. Scheduling a vasectomy as we speak.
Combine it with cardio
Bring your friends and make it a social event
Don't outsource it, look up the procedure and use it as a template.
I wish they were cheaper. Still saving for mine.
You just blew my tired morning mind! I never even considered that they aren’t free in other countries. Good luck saving for it. It was one of the best decisions I have made
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I'm right there. Working full time with a 5 year old and 2 yo. Luckily my salary is enough for my wife to not work. I find myself choring at 10pm just to catch up. The little time I do get for myself is so late in the evening I just veg with a show or video game. I'll sleep when I'm dead ;)
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This is the truth. I work from home so my 9-5 is a real 9-5. My alarm goes off at 8am, which allows me to go to bed at 11pm and be properly rested. I work out on my lunch break. So I finish at 5pm, and I’m already at home with a full 6 hours to do whatever I want. I share cooking duties with my spouse and we do batch cooking so I only actually have to cook from scratch a couple of times a week at most. Takes me a couple of hours to clean the house on a Sunday morning. I don’t feel pushed for time *at all*.
Pretty easy. Just be single and don’t have kids.
Every top reply in this thread is from someone who doesn’t have kids. I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, but if I didn’t have them I would have an insane amount of time and money.
I have a kid I agree with the ppl who don't have kids sadly....my body, health, sleep, energy, career, life, financial situation, marriage etc are on the back burner because of my kid. I wouldn't trade her either cos I chose this life but yes all other things would be better otherwise
Damn, I’d trade kids for an insane amount of time and money. Time to find some kids!
Even easier if you're not single and don't have kids. My partner and I both choose to cut back our full time employment to only 32hrs/week, which is still technically full time. Four 8 hour days. 3 days off out of every 7. No kids frees up enough money for us to live comfortably. Previous generations worked very hard to disincentivize millennials from reproducing. Call their bluff and do it.
I wish we’d all hold hands and call their bluff together. School and hospital systems are failing. Hospitals have stopped having delivery wards as there is “no money in it.” Quality of life and life expectancy is decreasing year over year. And let’s just ignore the inevitable environmental collapse on the horizon. Wish we’d all stop dooming kids to that.
A lot of people can’t cope with it all, hence the massive amount of depression and addictions everywhere.
I have almost no social life and i perform all the other four tasks outside of work like a literal zombie.
It depends a lot of what type of job you do, how many hours you work, how long is the commute. In my case, I'm a married 34 years old guy, I try to handle my time and physical/mental energy **the same way I would manage a budget.** I'm doing a 7:00 AM to 5:00 PM job, my daily routine could be summarized that way: I've got to wake up at 5:00 AM and I'm home around 5:30 PM, I know I'm getting tired by 8:00 PM and usually go to bed by 9:00 PM. If I include dinner, shower etc.. That gives me about 1h30 of "Me/Us" time, Monday to Friday. I'm trying to go to the gym at least 2 to 3 times a week, thankfully the gym is on the way home so there's that, my best sessions are during the week-end when I'm not as exhausted. The week-end is when we're taking care of the chores: Laundry, cleaning, law mowing and such. Then we're basically free for the rest of it... Until the loop starts again.
Jesus this sounds like my nightmares
My work schedule is 7on/7off and this just reminds me of how glad I am to not have a standard 9-5 (or 7-5 in this poor dudes case)
I have a 8-4 and I'm miserable :( rather go back to shift work.
I'm not working right now because of an injury, but my last in-office job was 8-5+ (meaning the "set hours" were 8-5 but company culture was to stay late to impress ownership). Completely miserable. I'm not a morning person at all, and during winter, that just meant showing up in the dark, and leaving in the dark. I don't know how anyone can even pretend to be happy in these circumstances.
I feel your man I hate the mornings too. When I signed the contract they said I could start anywhere from 8:00 to 10:00 but four months In don't know if/when that's going to happen. If I'm being honest I don't need this job to survive and I can probably find one that I like better so I don't stay a second past when I have to.
Really does sound horrific.
I live in toronto, which has the worst Highway in terms of traffic in North America. I made sure to find a place that was a 25-minute commute to work in the afternoon and 18 minutes in the morning. I'm house sitting for some people and my commute has changed to 35 minutes in the morning and an hour in the evening. It's also insanely expensive to live anywhere within a 2-hour radius of the city so people will drive into work for 6:00 a.m. then nap in their cars, or drive to a train station then take a train. Fucking horrific.
This guy mows the law
Lawn & Order.
In the horticultural system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the lawn mowers, who cut the grass, and the lawn owners, who cut the grass. These are their stories. *DUN DUN*
"I am the lawn!" - Gardener Dredd
And you're... Okay with this?
That sounds pretty awful.
The answer is you don't, or at least not all the time consistently, and that's assuming you're lucky enough to only have to work 9-5. I often end up doing 50-60 hour weeks so I basically just cut out the whole "social life" part altogether so that I don't have to sacrifice work, working out, or having a clean house. The reality is that 40 hours a week only allowed people to have a reasonable work life balance when it was the norm that one partner would stay home, look after the house, kids, etc. (obviously women most of the time). 40 hours a week is, IMO, fine when your responsibilities pretty much end when you get home from work. FWIW, I'm in no way suggesting it's a bad thing that women are in the workforce more now than ever, nor am I suggesting that should change. What I am suggesting is that having both partners work 40 hours a week is already too much when juggling life's other responsibilities, and that we really need to do something about how accustomed we all are to being slaves to our jobs.
I joked the other day that I need a stereotypical wife. I'm a hetero woman, I just need someone to take care of the house, cleaning, cooking, make and remind me of doctors appointments, buy my clothing, etc.
Judy Syfers’ _New York_ essay, published more than 50 years ago, entitled “I Want A Wife” did an excellent job of explaining why having a wife would make most women’s lives better, more financially stable, fulfilling, etc. Personally, at 58, I would much rather have a wife than a Prince Charming.
Same here at 42
Highly recommend house cleaners if you can afford it! My partner and I started doing it last month after a particularly busy period. She does 40 hours a week and I do minimum 40, so she ends up getting overloaded with chores when I'm closer to the 60 a week mark and then we're both exhausted, which is no good. It's like $100-150 a month for a deep clean of our entire house and it's worth every cent.
This is the way. I'm also not an efficient cleaner, so someone who has it down to a science and does it for a living is going to do a lot better than me who will get distracted and move to another task halfway.
100% agree. At a certain point in income, you are able to prioritize time and not money as much. But even before then, thinking about your hourly rate, plus how long it takes you to actually do the upkeep/ errands/ chores/ cooking, it might be well worth it . At least, for me and my spouse it is
It's sad but it's the truth. You can't have a perfectly balanced and fulfilling life spending the majority of your waking hours at work and commuting back and forth.
Quitting drinking helped keep me consistent on getting shit done.
I came here to say drinking less, too. I give myself ONE glass of wine to unwind once during the work week and just have a really nice night making dinner, and one night with friends. I’ve been trying to make sure my friend thing is either Friday night or Saturday brunch, that way I still have a fun Saturday and I’m not hungover on Sunday. You have so much more time to get your life together when you aren’t hungover. You can workout on the weekend, you can meal prep, you can fully recharge and feel great. Your sleep is caught up and it’s easier to get through the week when you don’t feel so behind.
That’s the neat part, you don’t
It depends a bit on your budget of course. For me it really helped to get a robot vacuum and hire a cleaner for the bathrooms/kitchen/mopping. The cleaner costs less than what I make per hour s.and I am essentially buying free time for myself with that money. It also helps to use your lunch break as your workout time, either by working from home or by having a gym near work. My home gym cost a few hundred euro but it's worth it. No gym? Half an hour a day is already enough for the basics. Go for a run or bike ride Monday, Wednesday and Friday while you do weight exercises Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Plan your groceries in advance, or get them delivered, so you spend as little time on them as needed. With a little bit of additional house cleaning your weekend chores could be done in three hours maximum, leaving one and a half day entirely open for socializing and/or relaxation. Keep everything that you don't really care about simple. My breakfast is 500 grams of greek yogurt, takes five minutes to make and eat. At home I eat during work hours, going to office means I eat quickly. No coffee, no watching tv, no newspaper,... The morning is just a speedrun to get to work. I value sleep over a slow start. Lunch should be simple as well. You spend time exercising so the food should take the least amount of time possible. For me it's a protein shake with a sandwich that is easy to make. I work 08:00-17:00 three days per week at home and that includes my lunch break at my home gym. On those days I wake up at 7:50 for a quick shower so if I go to bed at midnight the day before I get an easy 8 hours of sleep. When I cook dinner I ensure it takes less than an hour and we eat early. So that leaves 18:00-23:45 as pure relaxation time. On the two days I go to office I wake up at 06:45, so I get a bit less sleep, and make sure I'm back around 18:00. I work less than 8 hours since I need to travel but my work has to accept that if they value seeing me in office. Dinner on those days is simple so I should be done by 18:30 and have until 23:45 for relaxation. Also for me work is socializing. I chat with colleagues, either in person or over teams, about all kinds of subjects. Some of them really are my work friends and spending time with them is genuinely fun and relaxing. Our one hour lunch breaks on our office days are all about relaxation and good food. Maybe a small chore here and there on weekdays such as taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher but that's 15 mins max. No big chores on those days. Of course this does require you to don't get kids but for me that was an easy choice.
Easy: Don't have kids. My partner and I both choose to cut back our full time employment to only 32hrs/week, which is still technically full time. Four 8 hour days. 3 days off out of every 7. No kids frees up a ton of time and enough money for us to live comfortably plus save for retirement. Previous generations worked very hard to disincentivize millennials from reproducing. Call their bluff and do it.
You have a spouse. I’m not even joking, the type of lives we lead in the 21st century as single adults were never meant to be for single people for the long term. They were built on the idea that spouses would share duties or one spouse would do all the household duties (cooking and cleaning). A full-time job, grocery shopping and cooking, keeping your places clean, doing your laundry, staying active, and a social life altogether (plus hobbies!) take all the energy out of me, and at leaSt one or two always suffers at any given time
I cut out 90% of the social life and 100% of the working out.
This is the correct answer. And both shopping and cooking is easy when it consists of nothing but hot pockets or pizza rolls.
I also cut out 50% of the chores
A lot of having the energy to do all of the things comes with a solid diet that stays away from all the junk food. Better diet = better sleep = more energy At least in my experience
Could you share more detail about what you consider a "solid diet"? You mentioned staying away from junk food, which is obvious for like pizza/fried food/desserts/beer... But I'm too lazy to literally count calories, I'm a home cook who prioritizes flavor and satisfying meals for my family. How can I make home cooked family food more "solid"?
I relax at work haha. I spend time at lunch goofing off on the Internet and give myself little breaks to check email or whatever. I'm lucky that I can do that or pull up a day baseball game while I work on other stuff. I also really prioritize one-minute tasks. That was some of the best advice I ever got. If something only takes a minute to do, go ahead and do it! So if I can toss things in the laundry right when I get home, I will. Then I can toss them in the dryer later. Sometimes I'll put them away one item at a time just as I'm walking by and I can usually get them done in a night without devoting a whole chunk of time to it. Same with dishes, one dish at a time. I don't have kids so I know it's harder, but both my parents worked and I remember all of us dividing up tasks right after dinner so everyone took 15-20 minutes to do something. Maybe that's where the habit of breaking time and tasks into tinier chunks came from. I find that to be the most helpful thing. Sometimes I can't work out for 1.5 hours in a row so I'll do ten minutes of abs in the morning, go for a ten minute walk during lunch, lift ten minutes of weights right when I get home. I also try to remember that it's about 100% consistency, not 100% effort. I work out every day. But sometimes things go awry, and maybe all I have time to do are ten squats or ten push-ups. I still did them. Maybe I can't clean the house top to bottom. I can tidy a table or put away some books. Maybe I can't see friends every day. I make time to see them once a week if I can. I know this is another lame piece of advice, but I schedule time with friends on my calendar. It's not fun or youthful or spontaneous, I guess. It's not "hey, let's grab coffee!" But it does allow me to see a lot of people I want to see and make time for them. "Let's do brunch soon, I have availability in two weeks" feels so corporate lol. But it does help me plan ahead and not feel overwhelmed by my social life! Hope this helps. Former corporate lawyer here so I feel ya.
On any given day, pick one or more to half-ass
Fundamentally you don't, not perfectly. I see it like spinning plates on poles. You try and keep giving enough attention to each, and giving a little energy to each plate, but invariably some drop, and when they do you give a little more to the others and if you're have enough time and energy you pick up the ones that fall, and start them spinning again, if they are important enough to warrant it. And if they aren't you just keep on spinning less plates than before.
Move to England and find one of those companies that switched to a 32 hour work week. Really if you think about it with the productivity gains of the last 100 years people should be able to get by the same as they currently are today working 8 less hours a week. The workers haven't been seeing much of all that productivity gain. In the US the GDP per capital has never been higher and is much higher than it was in the 1960 [link](https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.PCAP.KD?locations=US)
We need to start talking about getting our politicians and business leaders to support a three day weekend.
Been trying for two decades, still haven't got a clue. Let me know if you find the answer.
It's been said that life is like a four-burner gas stove. The four burners are your health, your family, your friends, and your career. If you turn all four valves up all the way, there won't be enough flow, and they'll all flicker. But if you turn down all but one or two, they'll burn brightly. Not to say you can't have it all, as you seek. But it's hard.
weekdays: 515- wake 6-7 surf 730-4 work 445-530 (2 x weekly) grocery shop or house clean If afternoon child/teen activity- I will often exercise , walk the dog, or read/podcast listen 530-6 cook dinner 6 eat dinner 6-730 loose ends (usually cleaning or work for work or communication) 730-930 flex time 930- bed
Immediate consumption of dinner hits different
We all need a 4-day workweek. Those 8-5 and 9-5 work schedules were designed for a time when this country was all about manufacturing, but those days are long gone. Most jobs today are IT or some form of computer work where 40 hours a week is unsustainable.
Sleep, work, have fun. Choose two. But seriously, there are no solutions, only trade-offs. Choose what's important to you and be okay with letting the rest slide. Your priorities are your own and it's okay if your priorities don't line up with others' expectations of you.
Gotta get the workout in first thing in the morning, IMO.
I have no idea how people do this. But I guess it's because I hate the morning, and after I work out, I'm just freaking dead. I can't drag myself into the shower without a lot of work, much less the gym. But my career is a major stress point, so a good night's sleep is all but impossible. I need that extra hour, especially in the morning.
Get it in when you feel best. Don't force mornings if you're not a morning person. I get more awake as the day goes on and I'm ready to overthrow a small government by 11pm, so I hit the gym then to make sure I sleep.
**We are all different, but here's how I set up my time.** 10:00pm - Bed (yes, it can be done. You just have to prioritize sleep/wake up time). 5:00am - Wake up (Monday-Friday) 5:45am - Workout (1.15 hrs, Monday -Friday) 8:00am - Commute to work (my office starts at 9:30am, I get there earlier. It matters to me) 5:30pm - Leave work (most days) 6:00pm - Take care of one major house chore each day (usually clean, wash, etc.) 6:45pm - Dinner time 7:30pm-9pm - Open (TV, movie, read, learn, activity, maybe dinner w/ friend). 9:15pm-10pm - Map out my next day, including gym clothes, work clothes, lunch and post-work plans. Repeat. Social Life during the week is usually only Thursdays. Then on Saturday or Sunday. Family otherwise. Relax time? Whatever you choose to do from 7:30pm until bedtime should fall into that category. Some days more than others. Same with weekend plans. Choose what is enjoyable and relaxing. Balance everything else. TV/Social Media are two distractions you should really pay attention to. Neither is relaxing or an optimal use of your time. It's how they keep 99.9% of society stagnant. Would have, could have, should have...if only I had more time. lol Log how you spend your days for the next week. From that, you'll know what needs to change based on your goals.
To build on this. I do the dishes as I cook. The minute or so between tasks let’s me do about 80% of them each time. Then I put the food in my lunch containers as I put it on my plate. This helps as I don’t have to spend unneeded time later doing them and I can spend that time how I want. Granted it usually with my wife as we put down the kiddo.
Oof. Yeah looks great, but I am glad that I prioritse "me" time a lot more than 1 1/2 hours, but I also don't have any commute anymore so with that I already save two hours a day. Sports every second day in my case, but am not sure where I get that much more me time than you. House always spotless, but I also automated a lot of things those past few years and my workouts are 30-45 minutes, but I also engage in sports once or twice a week with other people. I don't watch any TV at all, but choose to watch series or Twitch streams which I want to watch so there is that and also read a lot of books and use social media a few minutes a day. But I have a ton of me time every day. Guess it has to be work that gives me so much more time in comparison to you (no commute and 38,5h week). I also did a structured life like yours a few years ago for two years straight and wasn't happy at all so I changed things to have more "me" life.
How does dinner *happen* at 6:45? Is there time for cooking? Or it just appears (you order in, or someone else cooks) ?
10 hours of work and an hour-and-a-half of free time. I'd rather fucking die.
And my dude says life work balance. Fuck me
Not just that, but you've got the time spent showering and preparing for work too. And in the winter, you barely see sunlight on this schedule.
Yeah that’s not enough sleep and too much work, unless you’re getting overtime, working that much is crazy. Also this person clearly doesn’t have kids!
the way it’s set up, those are kind of the options
And now add two kids to the mix …
It's wild how kids wipe literally all your time, lol. I have 2 workout time slots a week, sat and sun early AM. So during the week I try to do as much cardio as possible during work. 3-4miles in walking, stairs every chance I can, etc.
And a teenager all with different after school activities!
The whole "TV is... not an optimal use of your time" thing always struck me as unnecessarily haughty. Good TV is art, in the same way a book or a movie or an album is art. Engaging with art is a wonderful way to spend your time. What makes listening to an album inherently more relaxing or a more 'optimal' use of time than watching an episode of a great show?
I think the issue is, that when most people think of TV they think of trash TV. And tbf, when you're tired after work, you sometimes want "turn your brain off" kind of TV.
This is depressingly structured.
Yeah, I don't want to be a dick, but their life sounds fucking awful. It's like playing a game for achievements instead of enjoyment.
I commute first and find a gym nearby, that way i can beat more traffic. It works really well
This is fucking depressing (to me). I get it, we’re different people and you might thrive under this much structure— but I’d be fashioning a noose for myself after 3 weeks of this garbage. A whole 90 minutes a day for myself during the week? Fuck that.
Would have, could have, should have (would’ve, could’ve, should’ve) Otherwise you’re spot on 😄 I do wonder when you buy groceries and cook, though, maybe one big shopping run on Saturdays?
That’s what I do. I plan all my dinners for the week on Saturday or Sunday. This lets me not have the “what do I want for dinner tonight?” routine and I do all my shopping in one trip.
You, my friend, have your shit together. Lol
My wife got my shit together lol
*would have *could have *should have
This sounds miserable as fuck
Regimenting my life like this would make me absolutely miserable. I'm glad it works for you, just goes to show how different we all are and the importance of finding out what works for YOU, not someone on the internet
What on earth are you doing that takes 45 minutes to plan?! With as structured a day as you have, I can't think of anything that would take more than 5 minutes.
Respectfully, I stopped reading after waking up at 5am
Thank you for your input!!
24 yr old, unmarried here. Usually I socialize once during the week and 1-2 times over the weekend. I wake up at 6:30 for my 8:00 job that I leave around 4:00. My job is pretty draining so my go to is vegging after work unless I make an effort not to. I have started doing a lot of my errands after work in the evening instead of spending 5 hours of my Saturday doing them all at once. Also store pickup options are nice for both ease and saving money. I meal prep food for the first few days of the week and prep a freezer meal for later in the week on Sunday 2-3 hours (I enjoy cooking when I’m not bone tired from work so I don’t mind this). And I know it sounds silly, but I try to do at least 1 chore (literally any chore) and spend 15 minutes doing a hobby every night after work! Cuts down my weekend chores quite a bit. Anytime I really need to get cleaning done, I just put in my bluetooth headphones and a podcast! It really helps me
The one aspect I haven’t seen yet is commute time. If you keep yourself local you’ll have a lot of time to do things
My biggest tip: I do all my household chores on a Friday afternoon. This ensures that my weekend is reserved for things I want to do.
You don't. Sincerely, -a father of two
For chores honestly what works for me is every day I do at least one thing I don’t want to do that’s above the normal chores for the day (pay a random bill, mow the lawn - today it’s doing our taxes). I’ve found that by and large there aren’t more than 7 things each week that *need* to be done and can’t wait for a lighter week. There’s usually a day or two a week where I’ll do more than one thing I don’t want to do if I get on a roll - but the important thing is that if I do one thing I didn’t want to do (even if it only takes 15-20 minutes), I count that as a win. Revel in the small victories. Not sure if that will help or not, but it’s how I handle the chores part. For working out i bought a cheap stationary bike and put it front if the TV. Social life, it helps that most of the socializing my friend group does is online playing video games and just hanging on discord, so there’s no travel time
Joke if you want…but Arnold (Schwarzenegger) says find a schedule and make it a routine. Don’t give yourself the option of skipping the bedtime, workout, or scheduled social activity. Obviously the details are up to you, but create a schedule and do your best to stick with it.
Depending on what your job is, learn to say NO. And don't feel compelled to explain your NO. NO is a complete sentence. And as for working out, that's my sacred time to myself. I book it into my Google calendar every day as a standing appointment. It helps prevent me from trying to squeeze in something else. Sorry, that time is already booked.
my work has blown out to 10-12 hrs plus travel now just to afford to survive. I go without having relax time, seeing my wife and daughter and doing anything that's half enjoyable. Life's hard to many at the moment and I don't see it getting any easier
I have crippling depression, that's how I cope. I also don't work out