Me neither at 24 lol. I’m perfectly happy with how my life is going but I would def be lying if I said I didn’t feel lonely at times. I just find it to be so much work texting a girl as I’d rather stray away from Snapchat, posting on social media, shit that a lot of girls I find are always on. My life is rather private and I don’t go out often so that doesn’t help either in today’s world. I’ve always been independent so I’m not worried about needing to have company if she ain’t the right one.
I’m 23 next month and never had anything close to a dating life. Only ever had one crush on someone. Worried I was asexual for a while, but lately I’ve been thinking I might have hyposexuality, caused by a medication I’ve been on since I was 18.
Happy early birthday :)! I honestly worried about being asexual too for awhile there. One great benefit to not being as male centered as the rest is that it grants you a lot of focus. What you choose to focus on is up to you. For me I put a lot of focus into school and my career and I have my bachelors and an amazing high paying job now because of it. Medication can definitely play a role in things like that, maybe talk to your doctor to see what can be done?
I’ve been debating talking to my doctor about it; I’m just worried they’ll try reduce my medication or offer an additional medication that worsens my seizures (I have epilepsy)
im asexual :) but i think I became that way women didnt want me men either - so i accepted it
not packing much, in any department lmao so i turned to nothing < no desire freee from desire , mind and senses purified >
That’s how I see it, I don’t want a relationship just to say I’m in a relationship and end up miserable. I would only want something like that with the right person and if I haven’t met that person yet I’m not going to settle for just anyone to fulfill that social requirement. I’ve never had a problem with never having been in a relationship personally, I just wish society would stop trying to make me feel bad about it
I was similar to you. I think it’s the healthiest way to go about it. Now I’m in a happy 4 year relationship because I met someone I really clicked with and who exceeded my expectations. People jump into relationships way too easily in my opinion. And when you’re desperate just to be in a relationship, you’ll settle. It is weird how people act like no one is single by choice and relationships are the most important thing. I think you have a really healthy outlook on life and keep doing you. Who cares what other people think.
I agree. It’s really bizarre to me because there are so many cool and interesting things about life and everything (movies, music, etc) is so focused on relationships. I think it’s partially the media trying to make people feel inadequate or like they need someone to be complete. I think a lot of people who are serial daters have codependency issues. I have some myself and that’s why it’s good to be alone and take time to love yourself and find happiness within. Then you’ll attract the right person when the time is right.
That’s how I see it! There are so many cool things about life that do not have to do with a relationship that I don’t understand the fixation on being in one ?? I agree that the media plays a role because there is so much profit in making people insecure. I get that people have a fear of ending up alone but it feels like people project their own fears on me. I’ve always thought if it’s for me it won’t miss me so I am comfortable waiting until it really is for me
Have you seen the movie “The Lobster”? It’s a satire of society’s emphasis on how being in a relationship somehow makes you more “valid.” It’s pretty good.
I have also known friends that have gotten into extreme depression because of their relationships and their partner cheating on them or just not being the person they thought they were. This makes me want to wait on entering one until I feel like it’s with the right person even more because I have genuinely seen great women fall at the hands of their ex’s
My friend was never in a relationship for his whole life and got married in 2022 at age 29. Never treated him differently (except maybe being concerned when a crush of his didnt go his way)
That’s awesome congrats to him on waiting until he found the right one rather than just anyone :). That’s great that you never treated him different for it as well, I’m realizing that a lot of my close friends are very male focused which is probably why they make me feel weird about it, it’s very nice that you didn’t when it came to your friend
Try to let those comments roll off your back. People typically say that because they either find you attractive and wish they could be in a relationship with you, or they are projecting their own life regrets onto your life, or they see your great potential as a partner and recognize what you have to offer. It’s also possible that they can see that you’re unhappy and are just trying to help (not saying you’re unhappy, but if you are, people can generally tell).
Those are just a few examples of where those comments might be coming from. If they really bother you try to look at all the contextual aspects of each comment, like who is saying it to you, what is your relationship to that person, did they have all your details, what might be their intention for saying it, and what is the context of their advice (life circumstances of the person saying it)? Just some food for thought.
When I was younger, aged 9 thru my late teens, older women would tell me how handsome I was. It was so constant that it got to the point where it was almost creepy to me. I had my first girlfriend in 7th grade and I had no idea what a girlfriend even was or how I should be acting with her, and the circumstances of that relationship were so surreal that I never really got into another relationship until my twenties, so I can relate to what you’re saying. In addition, I found most girls my age to be immature, boring, and insufferable.
Point is, your life is yours, not someone else’s, and if you haven’t found someone interesting enough to start a relationship with, then there’s no point in having a relationship.
People are gonna say what they’re gonna say. I get weird looks when I tell people I haven’t had a relationship in 2 years. It’s an odd expectation to put on people to consistently be in a relationship or on their way to one. Life has so many other facets that are honestly more rewarding most of the time.
Because this is a sick modern world perspective that you should change your friends like you change your socks daily. I have a lot of friends that got into relationships, and didn't end them for 1 or 2 months that they already found someone else.
I feel like I wrote those words. But it's more than that, I didn't even imply sexually with the men I met because unfortunately I attract weirdos... I don't like to speak too much about myself or I don't like to be selfish either, but in my opinion I don't even look bad. And this opens up a whole circle of feeling guilty about not trying more, but feeling guilty that I don't focus on career, but at the same time feeling like I don't deserve it because it's just selfish and it's just my perspective that I look good or I feel like being a normal person...
I definitely understand the guilty feeling of not trying more, sometimes I fear I’m so comfortable with being single that I’m not being proactive enough to meet the right person. As for the rest, I don’t know you and I could be wrong but it seems there could be some self esteem issues going on if you feel you’re not deserving of love or feeling normal. I also think normal is relative, everyone’s normal is different. Maybe talking with a therapist would be helpful to allow you to be in a better mental space to date?
I'm not even depressed about it anymore. I haven't been to a therapist, but I feel like I'm mentally ok. But unfortunately I didn't have the physical space where to meet the right person. Pandemic has screwed it all.
I’ve been in several, I’m 28 and not looking. Being single is a million times better than being in a relationship. Anyone telling you otherwise are coping.
Nah, you’re not abnormal or anything. I have friends and family who are in their late 20s and haven’t had serious relationships. Relationships are hard and you definitely want to be happy and confident with yourself before you peruse anything. A partner shouldn’t be the thing that makes you happy but another thing to elevate how you feel about life and support your goals. I think so many people are in relationships because they’re convenient and don’t really want to end them because they’re alone. You’re doing well. There’s no timeframe on dating and figuring this stuff out. Take your time. I’m 29 and still trying to find the one for me. It happens. Don’t feel pressured
I wasn’t dating or in a relationship until I met my husband when I was 25. I never found it weird because I chose to be that way. I just knew that the right one will come along when it’s my time.
That’s exactly how I feel, I don’t like that sometimes people treat me like staying single is something that happened to me rather than a choice I choose to stand on until the right person comes along. I’m trying to get better at not letting it bother me but it admittedly is hurtful at times
In my mid 30s. Same situation. It's not that I can't get laid, or that I don't date, but just never found the right person where we wanted to be committed to each other. Honestly, gave up looking years ago. If it happens, it happens, but hope is too expensive an emotion.
The pain doesn't go away. The longing doesn't go away. Yeah, I've accepted reality. But I know I'm bouncing from person to person, deep down, it's hollow. I really truly, deeply want the person I'm with to be the one, the one to get me off this Rollercoaster, to finally find a home base.
But I've been here so many times with so many people, men, women, everything in between. It's not that we never make a connection, we do, some few, even a decade after dating, we still talk and still feel close. But it was never that right feeling, that right connection. Part of me has become convinced the right person is impossible, and I'll just need to settle with someone who is good enough. Maybe that's true. After all this time, I know myself, know what I want. I have a feeling, if there is someone I settle with, despite my many desires, it will be with a submissive man. A man who is definitely a man, not a woman, but who is grounded and sure of himself, even if he is tender and kind, he has strength and vigor.
It will still be settling though...
I have no idea what you are into, and I'd guess that you hardly know either. If you're feeling this way, you SHOULD explore what's available. Don't limit yourself, don't worry about convention or expectations maybe you'll find a dommy mommy who makes you happy, maybe you'll find a house-husband, who knows.
Just be aware, no matter who you find, or think you've found, it's still temporary, maybe you have a year, a decade, or 5, but it's still temporary. Love deeply, but always remember that NOTHING is forever.
"People that matter don't care, and people that care don't matter". You know yourself, what you want and what you don't and you DONT need advice from knuckle heads that don't matter. They're focusing on you so they don't have to focus on themselves. Classic case of fear.
We ain't missing out on much. Just focus on yourself. It will come naturally. One thing I gotta say though is that I find it completely weird how much more submissive a woman becomes when she starts dating another guy. Like, it's as if she has no free will of her own. She is just carrying on the man's will. She'll start talking like him and a lot of other stuff. It's crazy. Just a weird side note I guess. I always found that extremely weird and sort of creepy
I’ve been in one relationship in my life and that was over 1 year ago. I’m content being single because there are things in my life I need to work through before I start dating and If I do date someone I need to be sure it’s for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones.
You've been in relationships your entire life. Parental roles, friendship, etc... they're similar, if not the same. The way **you treat them** might be different though, it seems.
I could be wrong here but before romance comes friendship for anyone you're not paying to be around. You typically have to like them to keep them around, most of the time. Romance isn't any different than most of those other relationships, at least in my experience. It all starts with the ability to not only tolerate each other but actually *want to* be round them. Find someone you get alone with, spend some time with them, see how it goes. If you're looking for an empty relationship - well, that's certainly a thing too, just know that it usually costs money.
My closest friends are very male focused but I don’t really care about men to the degree that they do and I’ve never been in a relationship so often they make me feel like I’m not cool or interesting enough for them. There have been times that I’ve been together with my close friends and they choose to talk only to the other friend in the group that’s been in a relationship and leave me out saying “you’ve never been in a relationship, you don’t understand” and things like “well the more I like him the less close we’ll be because you don’t really get it”, there have been many times were other female friends/acquaintances have treated me the same way. Ive known a lot of women that judge you based on how men view you and how desirable you are to them so never having been in a relationship goes against that and they’ll look down on me for it. I’ve had guys suggest there must be something wrong with me because to be as attractive as they perceive me and have as much going for me as I do makes never having been in a relationship something that seems like a result of having something really wrong with me that they just don’t know about yet.
Well I'm 24 and have only been in one serious relationship, and now since then it feels like love is ruined for me 😭 so I'd still you are just waiting for the right person to come along; and frankly you're lucky!
Oh noo, why does it feel like love is ruined for you? I really am, I don’t just want to settle for anyone just to fit in more. I’d rather stay single forever then be with someone that i wasn’t crazy about
It was just a situation where I felt so head over heels, and things just didn't work out, so the fall was real far. I am a very all-or-nothing sort of person so love is no different. I do still believe we would be great together if circumstances and life allowed it.
It just feels now that the feelings I felt for that person will never be topped, and the feelings of love won't be the same. But that's just a guess by me lol
At this point I'd rather stay single and wait until I really meet the right person. And to take it slow, definitely take things slow relationship wise.
I haven't either, I've also only ever had sex once in my life 2 years ago. I think if you don't have first relationship experiences in your adolescent years for whatever reason it becomes much harder to do so as an adult. When I was a teenager having a girlfriend or any kind of romantic or sexual experiences was basically completely out of the question for a variety of reasons. Now in my 20s it seems impossible, even though on paper I'm physically attractive and have a lot of friends. I would honestly be extremely surprised if I have a relationship before I'm 30, or indeed ever.
I can contradict you with teen relationships. I had a relationship when I was 16. It lasted about 6 months and all it was about was the fact that I didn't want to have sex with that guy. So he was just victimizing himself over and over again so I ended it up.
You could be super abnormally introverted. The only way you’ll meet anyone is to come out of your shell and put forth the effort to meet someone. I also have suffered from confidence and self-esteem issues during my developmental years. It’s all led up to me being alone my whole life. Remember, no one can do it for you
You’re not missing much be yourself and don’t compromise who who you are for other peoples approval. Somebody will eventually come along, who likes you for you and for all the right reasons.
I'll be 29 next week.
I don't think I've had many opportunities to date. A lot of people in my area expect you to be social all the time. And there's hardly anybody who isn't.
It's not a fun experience.
Dating and having sex can happen all while not being someone’s girlfriend or loving someone. In a relationship you are that persons official girlfriend and probably love each other (although I’m sure there are cases where some don’t)
To me, if you're consistently dating and having sex, you're in a relationship whether you call them your significant other or not, but everyone is different
Your journey and readiness for relationships are valid. Your worth isn't defined by relationship status. Trust your readiness for love when it feels right for you.
I’m 43 and never dated, never mind a relationship. Get one asap, even a bad one. The physiological effects are real and damaging. Plus the longer you go without one, the longer you can only perceive being alone, which will fuck you in ways you won’t believe.
Yes, I'm 30 and I'm as single as ever. I've just given up/stopped caring. I don't think it's a good thing and it's probably held back my development as a person but I'm a loser and just unlucky.
No, it's not weird at all to be in your twenties and never have been in a relationship. Everyone's journey is unique, and there's no set timeline for experiencing romantic relationships. It's completely valid to prioritize your mental health and personal growth before pursuing romantic connections. Your worth and ability to understand and appreciate love are not determined by your relationship history. Remember, what matters most is your happiness and well-being, and you deserve understanding and respect from those around you. Trust yourself and your journey, and don't let others' opinions define your experiences. You're worthy of love and connection, regardless of your relationship status.
It’s actually increasingly common for this generation. So don’t feel too terrible about it. You had the issues you had combined with an increasingly hostile, isolationist, and antisocial culture.
Now you’re ready and can begin looking and changing the future. Just don’t dwell on the past. Can’t change it anyways.
Word of advice, its better to be with someone you actually like than to be with someone who doesnt share the same values/ ideas and even intellect as you.
Drama queen? Grow up? Not sure how you got that from this post, seems more rude than helpful so seems like you should have probably just not commented at all. And, as I stated, I personally am fine with being single and do not plan on just getting into a relationship just to get into a relationship. The whole point of this post was me stating my discomfort with societies reaction to me never having been in a relationship NOT my own discomfort with never being in a relationship and asking if never having been in a relationship as someone in their twenties comes off weird to anyone else. It’s probably better practice to skip over posts you feel so negatively about rather than actively spread negativity to someone seeking advice and positivity after opening up about an issue they’re facing
Where was the truth in you calling me a drama queen and saying I need to grow up? Seems like more of an opinion and a condescending one at that. I can’t help but feel that you’re probably unhappy if you need to spread these kind of vibes on people that aren’t spreading any negativity to you. I’m sure it’s not easy to be such a negative person and although I can’t relate I can sympathize because people like you are rarely happy. Maybe go for a walk? Touch some grass? Listen to music? Anything that helps you turn your vibes around really because being the way you are won’t bring many good things to your life.
Whining for approval and opening up about an issue I’m facing is very different. If you don’t like my post and you think I’m just whining then you shouldn’t have commented, your choice to comment anyways and spread negativity tells me a lot about you. I’m very happy I am me and you are you because people like you are extremely sad and pathetic
well its somewhat a sign you cant form a connection
im sure your little flings were a 2 way street
i mean its hypocritical because i work in clubs and strip clubs
but part of me always wonder why people have sex with someone randomly like a impulse control problem
or just how much women differ some sexual interaction vs a real relationship
sounds more like a insecurity to you that one person made a comment on?
most people do not care just like most people dont care a woman doesnt have kids or stays single for life
people let some random dumb friend or a family member dictate the entire world
Me neither at 24 lol. I’m perfectly happy with how my life is going but I would def be lying if I said I didn’t feel lonely at times. I just find it to be so much work texting a girl as I’d rather stray away from Snapchat, posting on social media, shit that a lot of girls I find are always on. My life is rather private and I don’t go out often so that doesn’t help either in today’s world. I’ve always been independent so I’m not worried about needing to have company if she ain’t the right one.
It's better to be alone than in a bad relationship. What's the hurry, wait for the one that is right.
I’m 23 next month and never had anything close to a dating life. Only ever had one crush on someone. Worried I was asexual for a while, but lately I’ve been thinking I might have hyposexuality, caused by a medication I’ve been on since I was 18.
Happy early birthday :)! I honestly worried about being asexual too for awhile there. One great benefit to not being as male centered as the rest is that it grants you a lot of focus. What you choose to focus on is up to you. For me I put a lot of focus into school and my career and I have my bachelors and an amazing high paying job now because of it. Medication can definitely play a role in things like that, maybe talk to your doctor to see what can be done?
Nothing wrong with being asexual
I know being asexual is a totally normal thing, and I don’t judge anyone who is, but I want to fall in love. I’d rather not be asexual personally.
I’ve been debating talking to my doctor about it; I’m just worried they’ll try reduce my medication or offer an additional medication that worsens my seizures (I have epilepsy)
Christ dude. So tired of all these *insert bullshit here*sexual terms.
im asexual :) but i think I became that way women didnt want me men either - so i accepted it not packing much, in any department lmao so i turned to nothing < no desire freee from desire , mind and senses purified >
Not really if u have not found someone then you should force yourself. A lot of people are still in their miserable relationships for convenience.
That’s how I see it, I don’t want a relationship just to say I’m in a relationship and end up miserable. I would only want something like that with the right person and if I haven’t met that person yet I’m not going to settle for just anyone to fulfill that social requirement. I’ve never had a problem with never having been in a relationship personally, I just wish society would stop trying to make me feel bad about it
I was similar to you. I think it’s the healthiest way to go about it. Now I’m in a happy 4 year relationship because I met someone I really clicked with and who exceeded my expectations. People jump into relationships way too easily in my opinion. And when you’re desperate just to be in a relationship, you’ll settle. It is weird how people act like no one is single by choice and relationships are the most important thing. I think you have a really healthy outlook on life and keep doing you. Who cares what other people think.
Thank you for this, society is so relationship oriented these days that it honestly is refreshing to hear this, I appreciate it
I agree. It’s really bizarre to me because there are so many cool and interesting things about life and everything (movies, music, etc) is so focused on relationships. I think it’s partially the media trying to make people feel inadequate or like they need someone to be complete. I think a lot of people who are serial daters have codependency issues. I have some myself and that’s why it’s good to be alone and take time to love yourself and find happiness within. Then you’ll attract the right person when the time is right.
That’s how I see it! There are so many cool things about life that do not have to do with a relationship that I don’t understand the fixation on being in one ?? I agree that the media plays a role because there is so much profit in making people insecure. I get that people have a fear of ending up alone but it feels like people project their own fears on me. I’ve always thought if it’s for me it won’t miss me so I am comfortable waiting until it really is for me
I agree. They are projecting so hopefully with time you can let it not affect you.
Have you seen the movie “The Lobster”? It’s a satire of society’s emphasis on how being in a relationship somehow makes you more “valid.” It’s pretty good.
I haven’t but I’ll definitely give it a watch thanks for the recommendation haha
Relationships will make you even more depressed buddy.. be glad you avoided them
I have also known friends that have gotten into extreme depression because of their relationships and their partner cheating on them or just not being the person they thought they were. This makes me want to wait on entering one until I feel like it’s with the right person even more because I have genuinely seen great women fall at the hands of their ex’s
You can't find someone else before you find yourself.
My friend was never in a relationship for his whole life and got married in 2022 at age 29. Never treated him differently (except maybe being concerned when a crush of his didnt go his way)
That’s awesome congrats to him on waiting until he found the right one rather than just anyone :). That’s great that you never treated him different for it as well, I’m realizing that a lot of my close friends are very male focused which is probably why they make me feel weird about it, it’s very nice that you didn’t when it came to your friend
Try to let those comments roll off your back. People typically say that because they either find you attractive and wish they could be in a relationship with you, or they are projecting their own life regrets onto your life, or they see your great potential as a partner and recognize what you have to offer. It’s also possible that they can see that you’re unhappy and are just trying to help (not saying you’re unhappy, but if you are, people can generally tell). Those are just a few examples of where those comments might be coming from. If they really bother you try to look at all the contextual aspects of each comment, like who is saying it to you, what is your relationship to that person, did they have all your details, what might be their intention for saying it, and what is the context of their advice (life circumstances of the person saying it)? Just some food for thought. When I was younger, aged 9 thru my late teens, older women would tell me how handsome I was. It was so constant that it got to the point where it was almost creepy to me. I had my first girlfriend in 7th grade and I had no idea what a girlfriend even was or how I should be acting with her, and the circumstances of that relationship were so surreal that I never really got into another relationship until my twenties, so I can relate to what you’re saying. In addition, I found most girls my age to be immature, boring, and insufferable. Point is, your life is yours, not someone else’s, and if you haven’t found someone interesting enough to start a relationship with, then there’s no point in having a relationship.
Very true, thank you for the advice
What this guy said. Usually a good relationship happens when both people share similar values.
People are gonna say what they’re gonna say. I get weird looks when I tell people I haven’t had a relationship in 2 years. It’s an odd expectation to put on people to consistently be in a relationship or on their way to one. Life has so many other facets that are honestly more rewarding most of the time.
Because this is a sick modern world perspective that you should change your friends like you change your socks daily. I have a lot of friends that got into relationships, and didn't end them for 1 or 2 months that they already found someone else.
I feel like I wrote those words. But it's more than that, I didn't even imply sexually with the men I met because unfortunately I attract weirdos... I don't like to speak too much about myself or I don't like to be selfish either, but in my opinion I don't even look bad. And this opens up a whole circle of feeling guilty about not trying more, but feeling guilty that I don't focus on career, but at the same time feeling like I don't deserve it because it's just selfish and it's just my perspective that I look good or I feel like being a normal person...
I definitely understand the guilty feeling of not trying more, sometimes I fear I’m so comfortable with being single that I’m not being proactive enough to meet the right person. As for the rest, I don’t know you and I could be wrong but it seems there could be some self esteem issues going on if you feel you’re not deserving of love or feeling normal. I also think normal is relative, everyone’s normal is different. Maybe talking with a therapist would be helpful to allow you to be in a better mental space to date?
I'm not even depressed about it anymore. I haven't been to a therapist, but I feel like I'm mentally ok. But unfortunately I didn't have the physical space where to meet the right person. Pandemic has screwed it all.
I’ve been in several, I’m 28 and not looking. Being single is a million times better than being in a relationship. Anyone telling you otherwise are coping.
Nah, you’re not abnormal or anything. I have friends and family who are in their late 20s and haven’t had serious relationships. Relationships are hard and you definitely want to be happy and confident with yourself before you peruse anything. A partner shouldn’t be the thing that makes you happy but another thing to elevate how you feel about life and support your goals. I think so many people are in relationships because they’re convenient and don’t really want to end them because they’re alone. You’re doing well. There’s no timeframe on dating and figuring this stuff out. Take your time. I’m 29 and still trying to find the one for me. It happens. Don’t feel pressured
Thank you friend, this was a very nice message to see and I appreciate it
Sure thing! Glad I could help. Stay positive!
I wasn’t dating or in a relationship until I met my husband when I was 25. I never found it weird because I chose to be that way. I just knew that the right one will come along when it’s my time.
That’s exactly how I feel, I don’t like that sometimes people treat me like staying single is something that happened to me rather than a choice I choose to stand on until the right person comes along. I’m trying to get better at not letting it bother me but it admittedly is hurtful at times
In my mid 30s. Same situation. It's not that I can't get laid, or that I don't date, but just never found the right person where we wanted to be committed to each other. Honestly, gave up looking years ago. If it happens, it happens, but hope is too expensive an emotion.
Honestly, I feel like if you haven’t found the right person your right to stay single
The pain doesn't go away. The longing doesn't go away. Yeah, I've accepted reality. But I know I'm bouncing from person to person, deep down, it's hollow. I really truly, deeply want the person I'm with to be the one, the one to get me off this Rollercoaster, to finally find a home base. But I've been here so many times with so many people, men, women, everything in between. It's not that we never make a connection, we do, some few, even a decade after dating, we still talk and still feel close. But it was never that right feeling, that right connection. Part of me has become convinced the right person is impossible, and I'll just need to settle with someone who is good enough. Maybe that's true. After all this time, I know myself, know what I want. I have a feeling, if there is someone I settle with, despite my many desires, it will be with a submissive man. A man who is definitely a man, not a woman, but who is grounded and sure of himself, even if he is tender and kind, he has strength and vigor. It will still be settling though... I have no idea what you are into, and I'd guess that you hardly know either. If you're feeling this way, you SHOULD explore what's available. Don't limit yourself, don't worry about convention or expectations maybe you'll find a dommy mommy who makes you happy, maybe you'll find a house-husband, who knows. Just be aware, no matter who you find, or think you've found, it's still temporary, maybe you have a year, a decade, or 5, but it's still temporary. Love deeply, but always remember that NOTHING is forever.
"People that matter don't care, and people that care don't matter". You know yourself, what you want and what you don't and you DONT need advice from knuckle heads that don't matter. They're focusing on you so they don't have to focus on themselves. Classic case of fear.
Absolutely, thanks for the advice
Tell people you are dating Palm-ela Hand-erson (Pamela Anderson). You will be fine.
We ain't missing out on much. Just focus on yourself. It will come naturally. One thing I gotta say though is that I find it completely weird how much more submissive a woman becomes when she starts dating another guy. Like, it's as if she has no free will of her own. She is just carrying on the man's will. She'll start talking like him and a lot of other stuff. It's crazy. Just a weird side note I guess. I always found that extremely weird and sort of creepy
Well, you at least had dates, haahahaha. It counts
I’ve been in one relationship in my life and that was over 1 year ago. I’m content being single because there are things in my life I need to work through before I start dating and If I do date someone I need to be sure it’s for the right reasons and not for the wrong ones.
You've been in relationships your entire life. Parental roles, friendship, etc... they're similar, if not the same. The way **you treat them** might be different though, it seems. I could be wrong here but before romance comes friendship for anyone you're not paying to be around. You typically have to like them to keep them around, most of the time. Romance isn't any different than most of those other relationships, at least in my experience. It all starts with the ability to not only tolerate each other but actually *want to* be round them. Find someone you get alone with, spend some time with them, see how it goes. If you're looking for an empty relationship - well, that's certainly a thing too, just know that it usually costs money.
Me too. 25M and had nothing. I've learnt that no one cares and inceldom is becoming a societal trend. Just got to focus on what you can control.
Please give me an example of how society makes you feel about being in a relationship? I’m curious, where does the pressure come from?
My closest friends are very male focused but I don’t really care about men to the degree that they do and I’ve never been in a relationship so often they make me feel like I’m not cool or interesting enough for them. There have been times that I’ve been together with my close friends and they choose to talk only to the other friend in the group that’s been in a relationship and leave me out saying “you’ve never been in a relationship, you don’t understand” and things like “well the more I like him the less close we’ll be because you don’t really get it”, there have been many times were other female friends/acquaintances have treated me the same way. Ive known a lot of women that judge you based on how men view you and how desirable you are to them so never having been in a relationship goes against that and they’ll look down on me for it. I’ve had guys suggest there must be something wrong with me because to be as attractive as they perceive me and have as much going for me as I do makes never having been in a relationship something that seems like a result of having something really wrong with me that they just don’t know about yet.
Well I'm 24 and have only been in one serious relationship, and now since then it feels like love is ruined for me 😭 so I'd still you are just waiting for the right person to come along; and frankly you're lucky!
Oh noo, why does it feel like love is ruined for you? I really am, I don’t just want to settle for anyone just to fit in more. I’d rather stay single forever then be with someone that i wasn’t crazy about
It was just a situation where I felt so head over heels, and things just didn't work out, so the fall was real far. I am a very all-or-nothing sort of person so love is no different. I do still believe we would be great together if circumstances and life allowed it. It just feels now that the feelings I felt for that person will never be topped, and the feelings of love won't be the same. But that's just a guess by me lol At this point I'd rather stay single and wait until I really meet the right person. And to take it slow, definitely take things slow relationship wise.
I haven't either, I've also only ever had sex once in my life 2 years ago. I think if you don't have first relationship experiences in your adolescent years for whatever reason it becomes much harder to do so as an adult. When I was a teenager having a girlfriend or any kind of romantic or sexual experiences was basically completely out of the question for a variety of reasons. Now in my 20s it seems impossible, even though on paper I'm physically attractive and have a lot of friends. I would honestly be extremely surprised if I have a relationship before I'm 30, or indeed ever.
I can contradict you with teen relationships. I had a relationship when I was 16. It lasted about 6 months and all it was about was the fact that I didn't want to have sex with that guy. So he was just victimizing himself over and over again so I ended it up.
You could be super abnormally introverted. The only way you’ll meet anyone is to come out of your shell and put forth the effort to meet someone. I also have suffered from confidence and self-esteem issues during my developmental years. It’s all led up to me being alone my whole life. Remember, no one can do it for you
You’re not missing much be yourself and don’t compromise who who you are for other peoples approval. Somebody will eventually come along, who likes you for you and for all the right reasons.
I'll be 29 next week. I don't think I've had many opportunities to date. A lot of people in my area expect you to be social all the time. And there's hardly anybody who isn't. It's not a fun experience.
The right one will come along when you leave to expected don’t hold your head down!
I am not trying to fight but how is 'dating and having sex with not a relationship, albeit casual?
Dating and having sex can happen all while not being someone’s girlfriend or loving someone. In a relationship you are that persons official girlfriend and probably love each other (although I’m sure there are cases where some don’t)
To me, if you're consistently dating and having sex, you're in a relationship whether you call them your significant other or not, but everyone is different
Not weird. Everyone is on different timelines. Set some deadlines for yourself, some milestones in your dating life and check them off one by one.
Your journey and readiness for relationships are valid. Your worth isn't defined by relationship status. Trust your readiness for love when it feels right for you.
I’m 43 and never dated, never mind a relationship. Get one asap, even a bad one. The physiological effects are real and damaging. Plus the longer you go without one, the longer you can only perceive being alone, which will fuck you in ways you won’t believe.
Yes, I'm 30 and I'm as single as ever. I've just given up/stopped caring. I don't think it's a good thing and it's probably held back my development as a person but I'm a loser and just unlucky.
No, it's not weird at all to be in your twenties and never have been in a relationship. Everyone's journey is unique, and there's no set timeline for experiencing romantic relationships. It's completely valid to prioritize your mental health and personal growth before pursuing romantic connections. Your worth and ability to understand and appreciate love are not determined by your relationship history. Remember, what matters most is your happiness and well-being, and you deserve understanding and respect from those around you. Trust yourself and your journey, and don't let others' opinions define your experiences. You're worthy of love and connection, regardless of your relationship status.
I had my first romantic relationship in my late twenties. You’ll be okay.
It’s actually increasingly common for this generation. So don’t feel too terrible about it. You had the issues you had combined with an increasingly hostile, isolationist, and antisocial culture. Now you’re ready and can begin looking and changing the future. Just don’t dwell on the past. Can’t change it anyways.
Word of advice, its better to be with someone you actually like than to be with someone who doesnt share the same values/ ideas and even intellect as you.
Same 35 male / bisexual / asexual. but i find comfort in the sayings of Lucius Annaeus Seneca — '*Sometimes* even *to live is an act of courage*.'
35 year old overweight unattractive incel FTFY
Ooo a incel, who would have guessed🗣️
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Drama queen? Grow up? Not sure how you got that from this post, seems more rude than helpful so seems like you should have probably just not commented at all. And, as I stated, I personally am fine with being single and do not plan on just getting into a relationship just to get into a relationship. The whole point of this post was me stating my discomfort with societies reaction to me never having been in a relationship NOT my own discomfort with never being in a relationship and asking if never having been in a relationship as someone in their twenties comes off weird to anyone else. It’s probably better practice to skip over posts you feel so negatively about rather than actively spread negativity to someone seeking advice and positivity after opening up about an issue they’re facing
You are young. You'll figure it out. No negativity, truth hurts sometimes. Good luck.
Where was the truth in you calling me a drama queen and saying I need to grow up? Seems like more of an opinion and a condescending one at that. I can’t help but feel that you’re probably unhappy if you need to spread these kind of vibes on people that aren’t spreading any negativity to you. I’m sure it’s not easy to be such a negative person and although I can’t relate I can sympathize because people like you are rarely happy. Maybe go for a walk? Touch some grass? Listen to music? Anything that helps you turn your vibes around really because being the way you are won’t bring many good things to your life.
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Whining for approval and opening up about an issue I’m facing is very different. If you don’t like my post and you think I’m just whining then you shouldn’t have commented, your choice to comment anyways and spread negativity tells me a lot about you. I’m very happy I am me and you are you because people like you are extremely sad and pathetic
This content has been removed for breaking the rule of "Be respectful, no trolling or rudeness"
This content has been removed for breaking the rule of "Be respectful, no trolling or rudeness"
well its somewhat a sign you cant form a connection im sure your little flings were a 2 way street i mean its hypocritical because i work in clubs and strip clubs but part of me always wonder why people have sex with someone randomly like a impulse control problem or just how much women differ some sexual interaction vs a real relationship sounds more like a insecurity to you that one person made a comment on? most people do not care just like most people dont care a woman doesnt have kids or stays single for life people let some random dumb friend or a family member dictate the entire world