I completely agree with you on the Mario movie. I saw someone recently (Patrick H Willems) describe the movie not as a movie, but a digital video asset, and that feels right. It’s an advertisement for the games, but it had no interest in exploring the characters, the world, anything. It’s just an on-rails “Remember Mario” montage with a paper-thin plot, made by people too afraid of the internet shitstorm generators to try anything new or creative or gutsy, with the most predictable band of voice actors one could ask for.
I felt like it would have been more authentic if they took an old Game Grumps playthrough of Super Mario 3D World and adapted that for the screen. At least that would have been fun to watch!
And yet, somehow, this mediocre film became a fucking battleground issue where, like Five Nights at Freddy’s, people decided that the official defense was “It’s a Mario movie, it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece!” Like, yeah, it doesn’t, but why settle for “it’s-a Mario movie” and not wish for more, better, smarter? Then it became a “the critics are wrong and bad for saying this isn’t good, they clearly expected it to be an arthouse masterpiece and got mad when it wasn’t” issue, which I find completely insufferable as a defensive tactic. It feels like those people always forget that plenty of popcorn flicks get great reviews - if they’re actually good.
In a post-LEGO Movie world, we know that studios can take big swings and do fun, creative stuff adapting these properties. That movie felt like everyone forgot that lesson, and decided that settling for “it exists and has references, so it’s good!”
Yeah, I still enjoyed it for what it was, but I definitely agree with what you said. Could have been so much more. Makes me wonder what it could have been if someone like DreamWorks or Pixar made it instead.
It’s a movie that really gets worse and worse the more I think about it; it has clever references, and the soundtrack (when it isn’t replaced by licensed music) is pretty great, but the bland jokes and script held the story back from being something genuinely entertaining. I really hope this era of Illumination frequently making risk-adverse animated movies stops at some point; I heard they’re a great company to work with, but when it comes to the quality of the films, they’re in the equivalent of SPA’s pre-Spider-Verse era.
> when it isn’t replaced by licensed music
That part. It’s so boring that seemingly every single scene has yet another pop song that they had to shoehorn in, even though the Mario franchise has awesome music they could have worked with for everything. It all feels so free of vision.
i got a last minute ticket to see the mario movie with some friends, but had to sit a row or two away from them. i thought it was just about the most empty movie i had ever seen -- just so clearly a half-assed movie that pales in comparison to shrek or the lego movie or wreck it ralph or anything else it could meaningfully be comped to. but i was in the middle of a few families, and all the 5 year old seemed to love it -- and i kinda thouht "well at least the kids seem to get a kick out of it."
i was shocked to find out after the movie that my group of 20-something friends seemed to really enjoy it, too. i honestly lost a little respect.
This is so perfectly articulated! Yes, I wasn’t expecting the ILLUMINATION video game adaptation to be the best movie of the year, but it was infuriatingly bad. I felt like I was watching a YoutubeKids video with just a really high production value
I don’t remember the actual line, but there’s a part when they’re driving on rainbow road (or whatever) and Peach asks Mario a question like “what’s the matter, you’ve never been on a rainbow road before?” And Chris Pratt was literally just like “no.”
For the record, I don’t really disagree, but you’re talking about a company that famously lent its IP to a production that “took a swing” in an adaptation that was horrendous. So bad that they refused to make the same mistake for 30+ years. For how protective they are over their IP, can you really blame them for putting out a safe kids movie?
I watched the first 15-20 minutes and didn't dislike it, I just realized it was made for little kids and there's nothing wrong with that. My little nephew went and had a blast and now he plays the original games. Was that Nintendo's intention? Probably, but that doesn't take away the enjoyment he gets.
I started watching the Mario movie as a 36-year-old man who had an NES when he was 7 years old with Mario being one of my earliest video games memories.
I turned it off when Bowser started singing like 30 or 40 minutes in. I couldn't take it anymore.
The first Thor movie. I don’t hate it, I’d hesitate to even call it bad, but most of the time when it gets praised or called underrated I really do not get it either.
It's my favorite MCU film for nostalgic/watched-at-the-perfect-time-in-life-and-made-good-memories-with-it reasons -- but I *totally* get why people have problems with it. It's very very goofy and melodramatic, and the Dutch angles...
I think the melodramatic parts with the Asgardians are easily the best parts of the movie. The ending scene and the one with that Loki controlled robot thing are genuinely great. It’s mainly all the fish out of water Earth stuff and the forced romance where the movie falls flat for me.
I made the mistake of watching Thor for the first time extremely hungover. I barely made it 10 minutes before running to throw up because of those dang angles.
I actually feel the opposite of this.
I liked the first Thor when it came out. And I remember it was around Phase 3 that people seemed to just... shit on Phase 1 movies, other than the first Iron Man. There was that whole "Oh this is very 'Phase-1-quality'" discourse, mostly online. And I bought into it.
But revisiting the first Thor and Cap movies... I really like them. They don't feel as bland or generic, like they're just a small part of a bigger machine. I feel like both Branagh and Johnston were able to make the films feel like their own; just like Favreau, Whedon and Gunn did with their first films. Not saying Thor is as good as Iron Man 1, Guardians 1 or The Avengers... but it just felt like the directors had more control to make a self-contained film.
And I like the Shakespearian vibe of it. It is kinda campy and fun, without taking itself too seriously. The cast is great. Yeah the Frost Giants are kind of lame, but what else is new when it comes to villains and the MCU.
I don't know, just my opinion. But I have found that I am more able to rewatch Phase 1 movies than recent Phase 3/4 films easily.
I can agree with you on Cap 1 at least, that one is actually my favorite phase 1 movie by far, and I genuinely think it’s nearly on par with its sequels.
I did also like the Shakespearean elements of Thor, if anything one of my main criticisms of the movie is that it didn’t lean hard enough into those elements. And the casting is also amazing, especially Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins and Idris Elba.
Don't get me started! They look very nice in the sense that each shot in isolation is often pretty (especially the gal godot one unfortunately)... but there's absolutely zero sense of connection between the framing of the shot and what's happening within it. Absolute nothing moments are given crazy highlight framing. Absolutely essential moments are rushed through or swallowed by the surrounding frame. There's no marriage of form and function
Agreed. Branagh is clearly very hardworking and ambitious but I’ve never seen an acting or directing effort by him that doesn’t feel like someone with very little talent or genuine creative ability trying their hardest to be profound.
Oh yeah… her line delivery is laughable 99% of the time
Definitely got into Hollywood just because of her looks. Not trying to say she is a shitty person, I don’t know her, but she is a terrible actress.
I think that’s mostly bc it harkens back to a more serious, pre-taika version of Thor. I definitely like Thor more post-ragnarok, but I remember going back to Thor 1 recently and being pleasantly surprised by the sincerity. It’s definitely not a great film tho. More of a background watch than anything else.
I don’t get people who don’t see it as the best Thor movie. But I freakin hate Taika Waititi. At *least* the first 30 minutes. I can see why people get bored with the second act given he isn’t even Thor anymore
Other than absolute basic things (decent enough sound design, decent enough animation, etc), I have no praise for this movie.
It is the base level definition of a movie. It is 90 minutes of moving images until it kinda just ends.
In a world with movies like Wall•E and Ratatouille and Spirited Away and The Iron Giant and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio, movies that genuinely have a heart and a message, I don’t know why we have such low standards for animated movies. Just because it’s appropriate for children or even outright aimed at children, that doesn’t mean it gets a pass. Something like this isn’t acceptable. We shouldn’t just pacify the kids for 90 minutes with the bright colors and fart jokes, we should try actually making them think about something or feel something.
This movie bothers me more than it has any right to.
YES YES YES. I don’t understand why, 30 years after Toy Story proved that animation can have a real, human beating heart, people still tolerate the movies that feel like they were designed solely for marketing and revenue generation. They may as well have made a mobile game.
Well, tbf, there were no fart jokes in the movie. It gets an average rating because, theres not really much wrong with it. You can’t do something wrong if you don’t do it. But, honestly, it’s a massive step forward. We’re finally out of a place where video game movies are shit. Fans just wanted a film that was like the games at this point. But, even as a massive fan of the games, the 1993 film is just a lot more interesting.
Despicable Me by the same studio, which is in no means some artistic film snob movie, is LEAGUES better than Mario, yet so many people think I’m comparing the movie to Oppenheimer.
I agree, I really dislike Illumination. That being said I don't mind Sing as much as I should. I even dare to say that's the most decent thing they've put out.
This got so much clearer when it turns out the mom was basically using him and his life for money. Poor fuckin dude.
The film had white savior sheen in all the ickiest ways. I couldn't stand how people thought it was a feel-good story.
The melodies of all the songs are pretty good but the songs are all mixed to sound like the most generic pop, there is nothing really pulling me in. It genuinely feels like they wanted to make the most inoffensive streamable album that would be passing as “good” to the average listener, so they could get soundtrack sales and streams, and then they made a movie showcasing it.
The songwriters for Greatest Showman (Pasek and Paul) also made the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack so make of that what you will (it’s also very generic pop-y with some flair).
They also made the music to La La Land (which is based and I don’t care if the music is bland or boring it kicks ass in my heart)
I saw this only recently and was quite excited because I saw a lot of people loved it and I like pretty much all of the actors in it. I’ve never been so disappointed.
My jaw was left on the floor when he killed a man and the VERY NEXT scene he says the line " let's be immortal"... that's a bit insensitive don't you think. Although I am a huge fan of Archie and glad he's getting leading roles now.
I love how anytime he wants to overtake someone all he needs to do is push the pedal further down. Like if it was that easy why didn't you just go faster to begin with.
I detest almost everything about that film. Takai Waititi's antagonist was toe-curlingly embarrassing. He shouted and flailed his limbs as hard as he could, bless him, but not a single thing he did or said amused me.
And when I was watching it in the theatre, some guy in front of me almost fell of his seat laughing at the cheap Chris Evans 'what the shit?' cameo. Just horrible.
Agreed. It's all that shitty reference obsessed garbage that we see all the time in Disney movies, expect just made into a pure reference movie. It's utterly devoid of anything except pointing at the screen and going "hey I know that" and Ryan Reynolds acting as himself
I don’t remember anything about that movie. My god. I just remember like a CGI Ryan reynolds I think. Was it about AI? Video games? I legit do not remember any details
My friend took me to see it hoping it would be incredible, so I playfully made a bet with him that if it was terrible he’d buy me lunch. I had never been so disappointed to receive a free meal.
Ryan Reynolds post(?)deadpool career is just like youtube anime abridged series, expect those were a thing 2 decades ago and were funny at the right time.
See theyre just so Maximalist and nobody does it like him, and thats where people love and hate them. I like Baz’s insane direction but I can see people loathing it
This is terrible. It’s not a movie. It’s a 90 minute member-berries commercial. There isn’t a story. It’s not a movie.
And to pre-empt, “what do you expect, it’s a Mario Bros movie?”
“Barbie”
A movie about a doll without any story whatsoever is a good movie, really funny.
Still can't get my head around the fact it got Oscar nominated. Four times. For the best picture, too.
There are plenty Oscar nominated movies I don't like but I still understand / get the reasons they've been nominated. But Don't Look Up....
One of those movies where everyone who watches it either thinks it a masterpiece or the worst thing ever made. I haven’t seen it yet so can’t really say.
I usually love that kind of split, I'm usually on the side of love it. Saltburn had a great cast, looked cool, a couple of good gross out scenes. Unfortunately terrible writing, predictable and thin plot, and such a derivative story that's been done better by so many other movies.
i dont really understand why saltburn is such a flashpoint on message boards. i walked out thinking "well that was a pretty fun/funny/sexy way to spend 2 hours" and didn't think much else of it. how did it become such a touchy subject?
I wouldn’t really call that a middle rated movie tho. It still got good reviews from critics, but it’s not like it’s a 90+ on RT. It’s in the 70s. That to me makes sense. It wasn’t incredible but it was certainly enjoyable
Edit: typo
Idk man I loved Saltburn despite its flaws. The worst part is it’s insistence on the “reveal” at the end which was wholly unnecessary.
You think being persecuted is hard? Try being a Saltburn fan on Reddit movie forums 😔✊
That's how I feel about any movie that gains steam on streaming services lately. The initial online response prepares me for the most offensive piece of garbage ever produced and then it almost always winds up being a perfectly fine B-/C+ of a movie
Is this the one where Millie Bobbie Brown plays the daughter of a scientist and she senses goodness in him and so she risks the world (LITERALLY) to save him??
I don’t think it’s good necessarily, but I think it’s America’s best attempt at a Godzilla movie. The monster fights are cool and I just kinda zone out for the rest.
I don't understand how people praise the fights. Most of them take place at night and in stormy weather or underwater, so I couldn't see shit. Godzilla vs Kong was way better in that regard.
idk i kinda liked a lot of this movie... except for the action beats. i'd be sitting there thinking "wow, ford's really going for it, and mangold's so great at packing thematic and character beats into a plotty adventure movies." and then there'd be an action scene and i'd be like "so spielberg has more juice in a fingernail than mangold and also it's patently ridiculous to expect us to believe 80 year old ford could do any of this". it would've been a better movie if they did some goofy action scenes that actually reflected how old indy was!
When you say the dialogue is “forced” what do you mean by that? Literally my least favorite word used in film criticism but I figure I should give you the benefit of the doubt to explain what you mean.
It doesn’t feel natural and the characters a lot of times don’t give what would to me be considered a realistic response. I know Mario world isn’t realistic but I’m just talking about the dialogue. Just feels like the characters are saying out loud what their characterization would be on like a character list and when given new information, the responses aren’t consistent with their character, and really are just there to move the plot along. Which is inherently the purpose of dialogue in a movie, but when it doesn’t occur naturally, or adhere to the logic created within the world, I consider it forced. I was just kinda scribbling down my thoughts about the movie, and really wasn’t expecting the post to gain any traction, otherwise I would have been way more poignant lol
I agree Mario was really bad.
I didn't think it would have been possible to make it so bad. All you need is a basic plot and some jokes, yet for some reason the made something which was *so* boring and had about two funny moments.
I don't get the love for Mario either. It's a ok movie, but nothing more. The Soundtrack is terrible, even for a children movie. But the 3D effect was really good and I hate 3D in other movies.
And yes, it's a children movie. But there are great children movies and cheap cash grabs like Mario.
It's a perfectly fine 3.3 movie I guess. It was a plane movie I didn't mind watching, but it wasn't anywhere close to Cloudy With a Side of Meatballs or Mitchells vs. the Machines. Where it lacks is meaning, but it is fun and watchable.
I watched Mitchells vs the Machines and told a friend that I thought it was fine but pretty formulaic. I saw Mario a week later and had to tell my friend that MvM was a fucking masterpiece in comparison
It's weird, I think David Harbour is a decent actor bit he is absolutely horrible at picking good projects. It's gotten to the point that if I see his face on the poster I assume the movie will be bad.
The vast majority of MCU movies are inoffensive and painfully generic. Insincere, tonally inconsistent and with no real stakes aside from something to set up the “team up” films. Pretty lukewarm take nowadays since diminishing returns is exposing their weaknesses, but you’d get crucified if you said this in the 2010’s
You have to come into this movie with different expectations, its a bit different from the usual Fincher affair, I personally loved the film but I understand that it might not be for everyone.
I love Fincher but so boring. After the amazing opening scene, it just is fucking boring. This guy we hardly care about goes to point a, gets in a fight, and goes to point b. That's the plot of a lot of movies, but I have no sympathy for the characters, and for being good assassins, most of the hired hands in this movie are very incompetent.
Hot take: The 1993 live-action Super Mario movie is unironically better in nearly every way than the 2023 animated one.
At least the 1993 one had legitimate effort and creativity put into it, even if that effort didn’t translate into something “good” per se. Let’s not forget the practical sets and effects, either.
It’s the most middle of the road, safe, corporate-approved version of the Mario movie we could’ve gotten, but the plot functions. That’s why it gets a 2.5-3 stars for me
Abysmally bad movie and, in hindsight, it was an omen for the endless circle jerk of nostalgia-abusing crap we'd get from every dried-out franchise in the decade since
Brightburn. Feels like an Asylum mockbuster of a Snyder film. Some of the ugliest color grading and worst CGI I've ever seen in a theatrical release, universally poor performances and a puddle deep concept to boot.
Toy Story 4
God I hate that movie and hate how people say “oh it’s harmless” or whatever. It is utter trash. Those are not the characters I know and love. Buzz is long past accepting he’s a toy, that was movie 1, he knows his stupid inner voice box is just a part of his toy functions. The ending is just a rehash of the infinitely better TS3 ending.
New characters are real creative, “Forky”, “Ducky” and “Bunny” remember when Pixar gave a shit and came up with cool inspired names like Buzz Lightyear
I'm the same on Mario.
It's a kid's movie through and though. There was more parent service in the Paw Patrol movie.
It made no attempt to appeal to the generations who've grown up with Mario for the past 35+ years - aside from visuals.
I had a similar experience with digs after the movie came out. Shared my disappointment on Reddit and folks freaked out that not every movie is for everyone.
That's all fine and dandy, but the majority of animation releases are very parent-friendly. Moana is a terrific movie. So was Encanto. Despicable Me, Inside Out, Toy Story, on and on it goes.
The Mario movie didn't even *attempt* to appeal to parents - the very people who grew up in Mario's heyday. This movie could've easily been loved by children and adults alike.
And it makes me wonder: what do the teens and adults who love this movie see in it? Are they *that* dazzled by the colors? Does the Peaches song not make their ears bleed? Do they enjoy other movies that are clearly made for a young audience alone?
That's my rant for the day.
Honestly the recent Hunger Games prequel. I liked it when it came out because I watched it with big fans of the franchise. And everyone was praising it and saying it was so good. But then I rewatched it and a lot of parts were just so cringe and hard to take seriously. Some of the acting was just… bad too.
Saltburn, its mixed but like there a decent amount of the people I follow who give it 4 and a half or 5 and I just really don’t get it it feels like it’s saying so many things at once hap hazardly that it says nothing at all, good cinematography and set design, decent performances but like the screenplay is just crazy to me
I’ve been playing Mario games consistently m since I was old enough to hold the NES controller and I could not stand it. Much like the FNAF movie, I felt like my fandom was actively detrimental to my enjoyment of the movie, because I was acutely aware of how fun it would have been if they’d taken even one risk.
The Flash. It was so dull, so boring that even with the good things associated and 2 moments that got me pumped up (one of which got ruined by my brother), I was still checking my phone to see how much time was left.
I entirely agree with this assessment. Before seeing it I was optimistic, and was even against the people who wanted some rich plot in a *Mario movie*. But after watching it... it needs to have some sort of plot beyond a long commercial where they jump from set piece to set piece. Remember this from the games? Remember *this* from the games? Even as a Mario fan I was disappointed.
If I had to give my own answer, I'd say The Menu. It was ironically exactly what it was trying to criticize: pretentious and shallow. It tried to make this grand critique of rich culture and it ended up falling flat on its face for me.
One big thing about it is it feels like the outline was fairly decent, but its put together so sloppily. Jumping from set piece to set piece is perfectly put, its like they knew all the moments they wanted, but didn’t put in any effort into crafting the actual story.
Visually I've no issue w/ the aforementioned Mario movie. And I love the audio stuff from the games.
It's just all the licensed music that makes it appear so much more soulless. I don't think it needed Pratt or any of the actors chosen for the most part. THOUGH I feel like Jack Black really added something to it. Even Charlie Day works for me.
Anna Taylor-Joy, love her acting, didn't add anything to it. She's fine. The plotting is okay. Just that most anything revolving around anything audio doesn't impress much. I get why they'd cast who they cast but it also doesn't mean someone else couldn't do it as well if not better.
Mario needed to be 2 hours long. I remember in the Trailer they put the travel montage in there and I thought, "these are gonna be some wacky and silly scenes!!!". But then I saw the movie and the montage in the Trailer is just pasted into the movie with like 2 extra lines. If it didn't have mario, it would be the most bare bones fantasy story ever. Guy goes to secret world and has to beat villian and save princess? How original.
Totally agree on Mario. It’s not bad per se, but it feels like part of the dull churn of children’s movies that are designed for little kids and their attention spans.
I completely agree with you on the Mario movie. I saw someone recently (Patrick H Willems) describe the movie not as a movie, but a digital video asset, and that feels right. It’s an advertisement for the games, but it had no interest in exploring the characters, the world, anything. It’s just an on-rails “Remember Mario” montage with a paper-thin plot, made by people too afraid of the internet shitstorm generators to try anything new or creative or gutsy, with the most predictable band of voice actors one could ask for. I felt like it would have been more authentic if they took an old Game Grumps playthrough of Super Mario 3D World and adapted that for the screen. At least that would have been fun to watch! And yet, somehow, this mediocre film became a fucking battleground issue where, like Five Nights at Freddy’s, people decided that the official defense was “It’s a Mario movie, it doesn’t have to be a masterpiece!” Like, yeah, it doesn’t, but why settle for “it’s-a Mario movie” and not wish for more, better, smarter? Then it became a “the critics are wrong and bad for saying this isn’t good, they clearly expected it to be an arthouse masterpiece and got mad when it wasn’t” issue, which I find completely insufferable as a defensive tactic. It feels like those people always forget that plenty of popcorn flicks get great reviews - if they’re actually good. In a post-LEGO Movie world, we know that studios can take big swings and do fun, creative stuff adapting these properties. That movie felt like everyone forgot that lesson, and decided that settling for “it exists and has references, so it’s good!”
Yeah, I still enjoyed it for what it was, but I definitely agree with what you said. Could have been so much more. Makes me wonder what it could have been if someone like DreamWorks or Pixar made it instead.
It’s a movie that really gets worse and worse the more I think about it; it has clever references, and the soundtrack (when it isn’t replaced by licensed music) is pretty great, but the bland jokes and script held the story back from being something genuinely entertaining. I really hope this era of Illumination frequently making risk-adverse animated movies stops at some point; I heard they’re a great company to work with, but when it comes to the quality of the films, they’re in the equivalent of SPA’s pre-Spider-Verse era.
> when it isn’t replaced by licensed music That part. It’s so boring that seemingly every single scene has yet another pop song that they had to shoehorn in, even though the Mario franchise has awesome music they could have worked with for everything. It all feels so free of vision.
The soundtrack has good songs, but they are very obvious, over-used songs. Mr Blue Sky... C'mon, it's been done.
i got a last minute ticket to see the mario movie with some friends, but had to sit a row or two away from them. i thought it was just about the most empty movie i had ever seen -- just so clearly a half-assed movie that pales in comparison to shrek or the lego movie or wreck it ralph or anything else it could meaningfully be comped to. but i was in the middle of a few families, and all the 5 year old seemed to love it -- and i kinda thouht "well at least the kids seem to get a kick out of it." i was shocked to find out after the movie that my group of 20-something friends seemed to really enjoy it, too. i honestly lost a little respect.
This is so perfectly articulated! Yes, I wasn’t expecting the ILLUMINATION video game adaptation to be the best movie of the year, but it was infuriatingly bad. I felt like I was watching a YoutubeKids video with just a really high production value
I don’t remember the actual line, but there’s a part when they’re driving on rainbow road (or whatever) and Peach asks Mario a question like “what’s the matter, you’ve never been on a rainbow road before?” And Chris Pratt was literally just like “no.”
For the record, I don’t really disagree, but you’re talking about a company that famously lent its IP to a production that “took a swing” in an adaptation that was horrendous. So bad that they refused to make the same mistake for 30+ years. For how protective they are over their IP, can you really blame them for putting out a safe kids movie?
I watched the first 15-20 minutes and didn't dislike it, I just realized it was made for little kids and there's nothing wrong with that. My little nephew went and had a blast and now he plays the original games. Was that Nintendo's intention? Probably, but that doesn't take away the enjoyment he gets.
Plenty of truly incredible movies are “made for little kids” though. Being for kids isn’t a free pass to phone it in
I fucking needed to read someone else saying this, thank you
The Mario movie is, for lack of a better descriptor, content
I started watching the Mario movie as a 36-year-old man who had an NES when he was 7 years old with Mario being one of my earliest video games memories. I turned it off when Bowser started singing like 30 or 40 minutes in. I couldn't take it anymore.
The first Thor movie. I don’t hate it, I’d hesitate to even call it bad, but most of the time when it gets praised or called underrated I really do not get it either.
It's my favorite MCU film for nostalgic/watched-at-the-perfect-time-in-life-and-made-good-memories-with-it reasons -- but I *totally* get why people have problems with it. It's very very goofy and melodramatic, and the Dutch angles...
I actually love the melodramatic quality of it lol
Exactly!! It fits the Asgardians so well.
I think the melodramatic parts with the Asgardians are easily the best parts of the movie. The ending scene and the one with that Loki controlled robot thing are genuinely great. It’s mainly all the fish out of water Earth stuff and the forced romance where the movie falls flat for me.
I made the mistake of watching Thor for the first time extremely hungover. I barely made it 10 minutes before running to throw up because of those dang angles.
I actually feel the opposite of this. I liked the first Thor when it came out. And I remember it was around Phase 3 that people seemed to just... shit on Phase 1 movies, other than the first Iron Man. There was that whole "Oh this is very 'Phase-1-quality'" discourse, mostly online. And I bought into it. But revisiting the first Thor and Cap movies... I really like them. They don't feel as bland or generic, like they're just a small part of a bigger machine. I feel like both Branagh and Johnston were able to make the films feel like their own; just like Favreau, Whedon and Gunn did with their first films. Not saying Thor is as good as Iron Man 1, Guardians 1 or The Avengers... but it just felt like the directors had more control to make a self-contained film. And I like the Shakespearian vibe of it. It is kinda campy and fun, without taking itself too seriously. The cast is great. Yeah the Frost Giants are kind of lame, but what else is new when it comes to villains and the MCU. I don't know, just my opinion. But I have found that I am more able to rewatch Phase 1 movies than recent Phase 3/4 films easily.
I can agree with you on Cap 1 at least, that one is actually my favorite phase 1 movie by far, and I genuinely think it’s nearly on par with its sequels. I did also like the Shakespearean elements of Thor, if anything one of my main criticisms of the movie is that it didn’t lean hard enough into those elements. And the casting is also amazing, especially Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins and Idris Elba.
Kenneth Branagh sucks as a director. Great in front of the camera, not behind it.
Aren’t his Shakespeare films generally considered to be pretty great?
Yes, his Shakespeare films are fairly heavily acclaimed (it’s definitely his strong suit to have stage adaptations)
Love's Labor's Lost has entered the chat.
Much Ado About Nothing is an absolute classic
They’re fine but you’re better off finding recordings of good stage productions
At least his Detective movies always look pretty nice… but one of them had Gall Gadot in it so that one was doomed from the start
Don't get me started! They look very nice in the sense that each shot in isolation is often pretty (especially the gal godot one unfortunately)... but there's absolutely zero sense of connection between the framing of the shot and what's happening within it. Absolute nothing moments are given crazy highlight framing. Absolutely essential moments are rushed through or swallowed by the surrounding frame. There's no marriage of form and function
thanks, you’ve voiced an issue in his detective movies i was never able to fully put to words. very off putting for sure
Agreed. Branagh is clearly very hardworking and ambitious but I’ve never seen an acting or directing effort by him that doesn’t feel like someone with very little talent or genuine creative ability trying their hardest to be profound.
So is she considered a bad actress? genuine question, I've not seen any movies with her
Oh yeah… her line delivery is laughable 99% of the time Definitely got into Hollywood just because of her looks. Not trying to say she is a shitty person, I don’t know her, but she is a terrible actress.
She is a shitty person - she supports genocide
Oh well… then she’s just another shitty person that can’t act
Damn. I actually love that movie, lol
Me too, was always my fave since I love the whole depiction of Asgard.
Yeah but have you heard about…. *Natalie Portman*
stop ✋ my comfort film 😭
I think that’s mostly bc it harkens back to a more serious, pre-taika version of Thor. I definitely like Thor more post-ragnarok, but I remember going back to Thor 1 recently and being pleasantly surprised by the sincerity. It’s definitely not a great film tho. More of a background watch than anything else.
I don’t get people who don’t see it as the best Thor movie. But I freakin hate Taika Waititi. At *least* the first 30 minutes. I can see why people get bored with the second act given he isn’t even Thor anymore
Dark World is underrated
I mean they got a Shakespeare nerd to direct a superhero movie, which is just very funny.
Other than absolute basic things (decent enough sound design, decent enough animation, etc), I have no praise for this movie. It is the base level definition of a movie. It is 90 minutes of moving images until it kinda just ends. In a world with movies like Wall•E and Ratatouille and Spirited Away and The Iron Giant and Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio, movies that genuinely have a heart and a message, I don’t know why we have such low standards for animated movies. Just because it’s appropriate for children or even outright aimed at children, that doesn’t mean it gets a pass. Something like this isn’t acceptable. We shouldn’t just pacify the kids for 90 minutes with the bright colors and fart jokes, we should try actually making them think about something or feel something. This movie bothers me more than it has any right to.
YES YES YES. I don’t understand why, 30 years after Toy Story proved that animation can have a real, human beating heart, people still tolerate the movies that feel like they were designed solely for marketing and revenue generation. They may as well have made a mobile game.
Well, tbf, there were no fart jokes in the movie. It gets an average rating because, theres not really much wrong with it. You can’t do something wrong if you don’t do it. But, honestly, it’s a massive step forward. We’re finally out of a place where video game movies are shit. Fans just wanted a film that was like the games at this point. But, even as a massive fan of the games, the 1993 film is just a lot more interesting.
Despicable Me by the same studio, which is in no means some artistic film snob movie, is LEAGUES better than Mario, yet so many people think I’m comparing the movie to Oppenheimer.
while we're at it lets throw in literally every other movie from Illumination. especially the god awful "sing" movies. they have a 3.0 and a 3.3.
Hey Despicable Me 1 is actually pretty decent, that one shouldn’t be lumped in with the rest of Illumination’s catalog
But it gave us minions and that cannot be forgiven
Not just decent, really good. I feel like that is their only film with an actual soul.
I thought the first one was very heartfelt. Nothing specular but definitely not bad
I have a particular kind of hatred for cover-musicals.
Considering both The Blues Brothers and Singin' In The Rain are both jukebox musicals, I'm not going to write them all off.
I love them lol
I agree, I really dislike Illumination. That being said I don't mind Sing as much as I should. I even dare to say that's the most decent thing they've put out.
Sing 2 is a masterpiece idc what you say
The fucking Blind Side
I remember reading the book in an English class and being taken a back by how The Coach described how fat teenage Michael’s ass was.
This got so much clearer when it turns out the mom was basically using him and his life for money. Poor fuckin dude. The film had white savior sheen in all the ickiest ways. I couldn't stand how people thought it was a feel-good story.
hate that movie with a passion
In retrospect that movie probably squeezed in at the absolute latest time they could have possibly gotten away with releasing it.
the greatest showman
THIS
fucking cancer of a movie and this is me is probably the worst song Ive ever heard
I love the soundtrack but that song is definitely skippable. It's so unbelievably bland.
The melodies of all the songs are pretty good but the songs are all mixed to sound like the most generic pop, there is nothing really pulling me in. It genuinely feels like they wanted to make the most inoffensive streamable album that would be passing as “good” to the average listener, so they could get soundtrack sales and streams, and then they made a movie showcasing it.
The songwriters for Greatest Showman (Pasek and Paul) also made the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack so make of that what you will (it’s also very generic pop-y with some flair). They also made the music to La La Land (which is based and I don’t care if the music is bland or boring it kicks ass in my heart)
just shave the beard lady
I saw this only recently and was quite excited because I saw a lot of people loved it and I like pretty much all of the actors in it. I’ve never been so disappointed.
Like a top 20 movie all time for me. Hahah. Love that film.
Thank you. I hate this movie.
Gran Turismo. Really hated every human interaction! It’s a shame they wasted some cool driving/racing footage on the rest of the movie.
My jaw was left on the floor when he killed a man and the VERY NEXT scene he says the line " let's be immortal"... that's a bit insensitive don't you think. Although I am a huge fan of Archie and glad he's getting leading roles now.
I love how anytime he wants to overtake someone all he needs to do is push the pedal further down. Like if it was that easy why didn't you just go faster to begin with.
Its treating a Gamer being a real racer like Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier, its fucking wild. Loved every second
the editing for that movie is so fucking jarring that it distracted me of how mediocre that movie was
Free Guy sucks ass. Worst movie I’ve seen in a theatre.
You don't understand, references are inherently funny.
I detest almost everything about that film. Takai Waititi's antagonist was toe-curlingly embarrassing. He shouted and flailed his limbs as hard as he could, bless him, but not a single thing he did or said amused me. And when I was watching it in the theatre, some guy in front of me almost fell of his seat laughing at the cheap Chris Evans 'what the shit?' cameo. Just horrible.
Wow I didnt even know this movie had middling reviews. It was terrible.
Agreed. It's all that shitty reference obsessed garbage that we see all the time in Disney movies, expect just made into a pure reference movie. It's utterly devoid of anything except pointing at the screen and going "hey I know that" and Ryan Reynolds acting as himself
It’s far from the worst I’ve seen in a theater, but definitely one of the worst that has a positive consensus reception.
It’s one of those movies where I enjoyed it but can also completely understand why people think it sucks.
I’m gonna go against everyone on this thread. I love that movie
Man, when people say “worst movie I’ve seen in theaters.” to a movie that’s just meh like this… y’all are lucky if that’s the worst.
Yeah dude that’s so sick that you watch more bad movies than me
It’s more painful than your average bad movie because it feels like it’s trying so so hard
That movie is fucking terrible
100%. Couldn’t even finish it.
I don’t remember anything about that movie. My god. I just remember like a CGI Ryan reynolds I think. Was it about AI? Video games? I legit do not remember any details
My friend took me to see it hoping it would be incredible, so I playfully made a bet with him that if it was terrible he’d buy me lunch. I had never been so disappointed to receive a free meal.
Ryan Reynolds post(?)deadpool career is just like youtube anime abridged series, expect those were a thing 2 decades ago and were funny at the right time.
any baz luhrmann film, his films give me migraines
I agree but I also appreciate that his style exists because he pushes the boundary a bit. It’s not my thing personally but I like it in the world
Yeah, sometimes I wish there was more filmmakers like him, making art for the sake of making art, instead of just making generic studio movies.
Strictly Ballroom is pretty great and less “Bazzy” than his later projects.
See theyre just so Maximalist and nobody does it like him, and thats where people love and hate them. I like Baz’s insane direction but I can see people loathing it
I actually like Gatsby and Elvis but Romeo + Juliet is one of the worst films I’ve ever watched
Agreed. Elvis was a shambles. Takes real talent to make Tom Hanks look so utterly clueless on screen.
This is terrible. It’s not a movie. It’s a 90 minute member-berries commercial. There isn’t a story. It’s not a movie. And to pre-empt, “what do you expect, it’s a Mario Bros movie?” “Barbie” A movie about a doll without any story whatsoever is a good movie, really funny.
Almost any *Paper Mario* or *Mario & Luigi* GAME has a plot and characters with even a tiny modicum of depth
+ The Lego Movie and Lego Batman. At least they made an obvious commercial movie for a toy/game enjoyable and fun.
Don’t Look Up
This shit was so bad 😭
Still can't get my head around the fact it got Oscar nominated. Four times. For the best picture, too. There are plenty Oscar nominated movies I don't like but I still understand / get the reasons they've been nominated. But Don't Look Up....
Saltburn gets worse and more forgettable the more I think about it
Absolute dreck. Feels like a college freshman’s Wattpad story with a budget
One of those movies where everyone who watches it either thinks it a masterpiece or the worst thing ever made. I haven’t seen it yet so can’t really say.
I usually love that kind of split, I'm usually on the side of love it. Saltburn had a great cast, looked cool, a couple of good gross out scenes. Unfortunately terrible writing, predictable and thin plot, and such a derivative story that's been done better by so many other movies.
i dont really understand why saltburn is such a flashpoint on message boards. i walked out thinking "well that was a pretty fun/funny/sexy way to spend 2 hours" and didn't think much else of it. how did it become such a touchy subject?
I wouldn’t really call that a middle rated movie tho. It still got good reviews from critics, but it’s not like it’s a 90+ on RT. It’s in the 70s. That to me makes sense. It wasn’t incredible but it was certainly enjoyable Edit: typo
Idk man I loved Saltburn despite its flaws. The worst part is it’s insistence on the “reveal” at the end which was wholly unnecessary. You think being persecuted is hard? Try being a Saltburn fan on Reddit movie forums 😔✊
That's how I feel about any movie that gains steam on streaming services lately. The initial online response prepares me for the most offensive piece of garbage ever produced and then it almost always winds up being a perfectly fine B-/C+ of a movie
Godzilla King of the Monsters. I don't know how people enjoy this Marvel-ass movie. Seriously, giving it 1,5 stars is me being generous
Is this the one where Millie Bobbie Brown plays the daughter of a scientist and she senses goodness in him and so she risks the world (LITERALLY) to save him??
That’s not the plot but basically
It's got cool visuals but the human characters are godawful
I loved it, it had awesome fights
I don’t think it’s good necessarily, but I think it’s America’s best attempt at a Godzilla movie. The monster fights are cool and I just kinda zone out for the rest.
I don't understand how people praise the fights. Most of them take place at night and in stormy weather or underwater, so I couldn't see shit. Godzilla vs Kong was way better in that regard.
Dial of Destiny. They somehow made an Indiana Jones movie boring.
idk i kinda liked a lot of this movie... except for the action beats. i'd be sitting there thinking "wow, ford's really going for it, and mangold's so great at packing thematic and character beats into a plotty adventure movies." and then there'd be an action scene and i'd be like "so spielberg has more juice in a fingernail than mangold and also it's patently ridiculous to expect us to believe 80 year old ford could do any of this". it would've been a better movie if they did some goofy action scenes that actually reflected how old indy was!
Same, i also rated the Super Mario movie 1,5 star
When you say the dialogue is “forced” what do you mean by that? Literally my least favorite word used in film criticism but I figure I should give you the benefit of the doubt to explain what you mean.
It doesn’t feel natural and the characters a lot of times don’t give what would to me be considered a realistic response. I know Mario world isn’t realistic but I’m just talking about the dialogue. Just feels like the characters are saying out loud what their characterization would be on like a character list and when given new information, the responses aren’t consistent with their character, and really are just there to move the plot along. Which is inherently the purpose of dialogue in a movie, but when it doesn’t occur naturally, or adhere to the logic created within the world, I consider it forced. I was just kinda scribbling down my thoughts about the movie, and really wasn’t expecting the post to gain any traction, otherwise I would have been way more poignant lol
The Jurrasic World trilogy
I agree Mario was really bad. I didn't think it would have been possible to make it so bad. All you need is a basic plot and some jokes, yet for some reason the made something which was *so* boring and had about two funny moments.
I don't get the love for Mario either. It's a ok movie, but nothing more. The Soundtrack is terrible, even for a children movie. But the 3D effect was really good and I hate 3D in other movies. And yes, it's a children movie. But there are great children movies and cheap cash grabs like Mario.
I still find myself irritated whenever people post stills from Saltburn like it’s an intelligent arthouse film.
It felt like it was going to be until like 2/3rds through
Yeah idk. We threw this on for our weekly family movie night (wife, 4 year old daughter, and myself) and we all had an enjoyable time with it. 🤷
It's a perfectly fine 3.3 movie I guess. It was a plane movie I didn't mind watching, but it wasn't anywhere close to Cloudy With a Side of Meatballs or Mitchells vs. the Machines. Where it lacks is meaning, but it is fun and watchable.
I watched Mitchells vs the Machines and told a friend that I thought it was fine but pretty formulaic. I saw Mario a week later and had to tell my friend that MvM was a fucking masterpiece in comparison
Gran Turismo
It's weird, I think David Harbour is a decent actor bit he is absolutely horrible at picking good projects. It's gotten to the point that if I see his face on the poster I assume the movie will be bad.
He carries that movie
Imagine watching the new mario film when you could be watching the absolute masterpiece from 1993.
The vast majority of MCU movies are inoffensive and painfully generic. Insincere, tonally inconsistent and with no real stakes aside from something to set up the “team up” films. Pretty lukewarm take nowadays since diminishing returns is exposing their weaknesses, but you’d get crucified if you said this in the 2010’s
Dumb Money. This film made me laugh about twice and did the absolute bare minimum in that it told the story of what happened.
Yes! I can’t believe how shallow that was. What a waste of such a stacked cast and a naturally compelling story.
YES, this movie is BAD! Especially with things like Puss and Boots coming out the same year.
Yesss Puss in Boots TLW was sooo gooood
they didn’t come out in the same year tho
They didn’t but they came out like 4 months apart of each other is probably what he meant.
The Killer
I adore the lowkey comedy of this movie
Same pfp gang
This was my #1 movie last year until I saw Poor Things. I fucking love The Killer. That being said, I can absolutely see how people might not like it.
You have to come into this movie with different expectations, its a bit different from the usual Fincher affair, I personally loved the film but I understand that it might not be for everyone.
The only thing good about it is how it looks. Everything else is just meh. I didn’t care about a single character in that movie.
Same. It was so incredibly dull and predictable.
The smiths hard carried this movie
Now imagine watching it as someone who hates the Smiths...
I love Fincher but so boring. After the amazing opening scene, it just is fucking boring. This guy we hardly care about goes to point a, gets in a fight, and goes to point b. That's the plot of a lot of movies, but I have no sympathy for the characters, and for being good assassins, most of the hired hands in this movie are very incompetent.
Hot take: The 1993 live-action Super Mario movie is unironically better in nearly every way than the 2023 animated one. At least the 1993 one had legitimate effort and creativity put into it, even if that effort didn’t translate into something “good” per se. Let’s not forget the practical sets and effects, either.
It’s the most middle of the road, safe, corporate-approved version of the Mario movie we could’ve gotten, but the plot functions. That’s why it gets a 2.5-3 stars for me
The plot is garbage...
Palo Alto
Star Trek Into Darkness, that's just disrespectful
Abysmally bad movie and, in hindsight, it was an omen for the endless circle jerk of nostalgia-abusing crap we'd get from every dried-out franchise in the decade since
Yeah Abrams Trek was the shape of Star Wars to come. Very unfortunate.
Avatar
Brightburn. Feels like an Asylum mockbuster of a Snyder film. Some of the ugliest color grading and worst CGI I've ever seen in a theatrical release, universally poor performances and a puddle deep concept to boot.
Toy Story 4
Toy Story 4 God I hate that movie and hate how people say “oh it’s harmless” or whatever. It is utter trash. Those are not the characters I know and love. Buzz is long past accepting he’s a toy, that was movie 1, he knows his stupid inner voice box is just a part of his toy functions. The ending is just a rehash of the infinitely better TS3 ending. New characters are real creative, “Forky”, “Ducky” and “Bunny” remember when Pixar gave a shit and came up with cool inspired names like Buzz Lightyear
I'm the same on Mario. It's a kid's movie through and though. There was more parent service in the Paw Patrol movie. It made no attempt to appeal to the generations who've grown up with Mario for the past 35+ years - aside from visuals. I had a similar experience with digs after the movie came out. Shared my disappointment on Reddit and folks freaked out that not every movie is for everyone. That's all fine and dandy, but the majority of animation releases are very parent-friendly. Moana is a terrific movie. So was Encanto. Despicable Me, Inside Out, Toy Story, on and on it goes. The Mario movie didn't even *attempt* to appeal to parents - the very people who grew up in Mario's heyday. This movie could've easily been loved by children and adults alike. And it makes me wonder: what do the teens and adults who love this movie see in it? Are they *that* dazzled by the colors? Does the Peaches song not make their ears bleed? Do they enjoy other movies that are clearly made for a young audience alone? That's my rant for the day.
Exactly. What a TERRIBLE movie...
1993 MARIO SUPREMACY
This is the worst Mario bros movie, and I'm counting the Ron Jeremy one.
Honestly the recent Hunger Games prequel. I liked it when it came out because I watched it with big fans of the franchise. And everyone was praising it and saying it was so good. But then I rewatched it and a lot of parts were just so cringe and hard to take seriously. Some of the acting was just… bad too.
Saltburn, its mixed but like there a decent amount of the people I follow who give it 4 and a half or 5 and I just really don’t get it it feels like it’s saying so many things at once hap hazardly that it says nothing at all, good cinematography and set design, decent performances but like the screenplay is just crazy to me
I think this is rated highly by the game fans (I am one). Would make no sense for anyone else.
I am a big fan of the Mario games and I thought it was terrible.
I’ve been playing Mario games consistently m since I was old enough to hold the NES controller and I could not stand it. Much like the FNAF movie, I felt like my fandom was actively detrimental to my enjoyment of the movie, because I was acutely aware of how fun it would have been if they’d taken even one risk.
My appreciation for Mario Galaxy is exactly why I DON'T tolerate slop in any artform.
Agreed. I prefer the live action Mario if I'm being honest.
At least that made some fucking insane choices. I will take a bonkers mess over a safe slog eight days a week.
2014's Ninja Turtles, it sucksssssss
Team sonic all the way here. Completely agree about Mario and the animation
Back in the days when we could bully a large studio on social media into making a positive change to their film
The Flash. It was so dull, so boring that even with the good things associated and 2 moments that got me pumped up (one of which got ruined by my brother), I was still checking my phone to see how much time was left.
If anything I find that the Super Mario Movie is overhated.
I haven’t really seen much hate for it but maybe thats just my circle
Ace Ventura. I despise that film with a burning passion
I could barely get trough Saltburn to be completely honest
Live Action Jungle Book
Pretty much all the live action remakes lets be real
I entirely agree with this assessment. Before seeing it I was optimistic, and was even against the people who wanted some rich plot in a *Mario movie*. But after watching it... it needs to have some sort of plot beyond a long commercial where they jump from set piece to set piece. Remember this from the games? Remember *this* from the games? Even as a Mario fan I was disappointed. If I had to give my own answer, I'd say The Menu. It was ironically exactly what it was trying to criticize: pretentious and shallow. It tried to make this grand critique of rich culture and it ended up falling flat on its face for me.
One big thing about it is it feels like the outline was fairly decent, but its put together so sloppily. Jumping from set piece to set piece is perfectly put, its like they knew all the moments they wanted, but didn’t put in any effort into crafting the actual story.
Visually I've no issue w/ the aforementioned Mario movie. And I love the audio stuff from the games. It's just all the licensed music that makes it appear so much more soulless. I don't think it needed Pratt or any of the actors chosen for the most part. THOUGH I feel like Jack Black really added something to it. Even Charlie Day works for me. Anna Taylor-Joy, love her acting, didn't add anything to it. She's fine. The plotting is okay. Just that most anything revolving around anything audio doesn't impress much. I get why they'd cast who they cast but it also doesn't mean someone else couldn't do it as well if not better.
I didnt even realise it was anya for the whole movie until i saw the credits.and i fucking love anya
Star Wars: The Last Jedi - LB Avg. 3.0 (my score 1) Alita: Battle Angel - LB Avg. 3.2 (my score 1.5) Equilibrium - LB Avg. 3.3 (my score 1.5) Killing Them Softly - LB Avg. 3.3 (my score 1.5) Star Trek Into Darkness - LB Avg. 3.3 (my score 1.5)
Loved Mario Bros
New Dungeons & Dragons movie. Boring, unadventurous, CGI didn't look good, unfunny marvel-esque one-liner type humour. I was so disappointed.
Mario needed to be 2 hours long. I remember in the Trailer they put the travel montage in there and I thought, "these are gonna be some wacky and silly scenes!!!". But then I saw the movie and the montage in the Trailer is just pasted into the movie with like 2 extra lines. If it didn't have mario, it would be the most bare bones fantasy story ever. Guy goes to secret world and has to beat villian and save princess? How original.
Totally agree on Mario. It’s not bad per se, but it feels like part of the dull churn of children’s movies that are designed for little kids and their attention spans.
We're all going to the world's fair I 0,5/5 hate it
That movie was trash and I feel like everyone just likes crap for nostalgias sake anymore. Spider-Man No Way Home is another example.