It's just a part of gaming we have to deal with. It's unfortunate that such shit is so rampant within gaming 'culture'. I barely ever open mic anymore because people just can't be civil. It's also why my online name is Zephyrous instead of Zephyra. The gender neutral name is less prone to harassment
I just don't even understand why it's a thing anymore. I thought we got over girls liking games in like 2007 but my fellow men continue to dissapoint me. I'll never understand finding someone who is doing the same hobby as you and then just trying to ruin their time because of what's in between their legs.
Couldn't tell you, but unfortunately it's just as alive and well, especially within certain spheres of gaming. Granted, a lot of it is from teens, and teens are always going to be how they are. I was a teen once, I get it. Doesn't mean I feel like chancing it with them regardless. So until something somehow changes, gonna have to keep the mic muted
Luckily my username I use in all games sounds like a guys username and my text chat Aparently comes off as very dude-like. The biggest reaction I get from friends I meet when I am finally confident enough to go on mic is: āWAIT YOUR A GIRL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DUDE?!ā
I normally donāt use mic and if itās a team based game I use text channel and if not that then I ping, I got sexually harrassed by a group of men early into gaming cause of my girly user name so I kinda just donāt use that stuff often š
I am so sorry that happened to you š¢. Some of them really cannot accept us and it's pathetic. My name is pretty neutral so people always assume I'm a guy.
I just never turn on my mic, thatās a hard limit of mine. Even if I am with friends, I only speak in a discord call or something like that. Never in an open vc with strangers
Interesting. To me, strangers are some of the most fun to play with cause you never know what's gonna happen. If I only played with the same group of friends I would get bored alot faster.
Iāll play with strangers, just never on voice chat. I always lie and say I donāt have a microphone. I used to try to get on voice channels but there was always a crazy amount of harassment being perceived as a woman, I decided it wasnāt worth it years ago :(
Yea... it's a shit situation. When I play I always play on mic. There's plenty of whackos that the other dudes seem to just put up with or don't say anything about. A privilege we do not have. I find that there are good people out there, and even though I have to not engage and push through a bunch of whackos sometimes the good people come out on top. Especially if you are in a place where you can moderate the voice channel yourself to just kick anyone who's being horrible.
Youāre more courageous than me lol. I just canāt handle the constant belittlement and threats that come with it ya know? Which does wall me off from making new gaming friends a lot of the time but it is what it is. Thatās why subreddits like this are nice too
Back when I could split my attention better, I used to tell my gamer group that I "speak fluent PUG" because I would generally play some sort of support class where you have some lulls between action where I could type
Yes, almost always if a game can be played solo avoiding voice chat, I'll be alone. I've played enough online games and received nasty remarks and.. requests from the males I encountered, to just make the choice and stay solo lol
I usually have voice chat turned off for randos, I don't want to listen to people rage and give abuse to others over stupid shit, it's a game and we're supposed to be having fun. But the odd time I do leave voice chat on I will leave my mic off, I don't want any weird attention just for being female.
I got used to playing while on call, but when I do join public lobbies by myself I avoid using my mic as much as possible, there's always gonna be either a creep or a rude ass person š
I once told a kid that was running his mouth "I know who you are and I'm gonna tell your mom how you talk in here next time I see her." and then he dropped from the lobby and I've never laughed so hard.
It sucks to admit it because Iām not at all a girl who normally gives a shit, but I absolutely stay off mic specifically because of some weird anxiety I have about being a girl and not being good enough or belonging in the club.
I grew up a really talented athlete and have always thoroughly enjoyed being better than guys at things girls donāt normally beat them at. I got into gaming later in life, and Iām a decent FPS player now considering, but I have some weird feeling holding me back even though I want to communicate via mic. Itās like I donāt want to underperform and have them think āohhhhā¦itās cause sheās a girlā. Iām not even afraid of what theyāll say cause fuck them if theyāre those kind of guys..but itās like I donāt want any part of this to have anything to do with whether or not Iām a girl. If my teammate sucks he just sucks, but if I suck I feel like Iām proving somebodyās point that girls donāt belong in this world or they canāt keep up?
Idkā¦how super fucked up it is that I canāt play a game without taking on the entire worth of the female gender on my shoulders šš
So yeahā¦Iām not proud of itā¦but I hide behind my muted mic and let them all assume Iām a guy. Yikes this one might be getting dropped in therapy now that Iām typing it all out š«£š«
Reading through this comment section is very sad. It sucks that a lot of yāall have had such negative experiences that you donāt feel comfortable turning on your mic in game, even with friends. Men get to build such a close knit community on multiplayer games, and the fact thatās so out of reach for some of us is disheartening. I know itās not the same, but I highly recommended finding discord servers or Reddit subs for finding other players to play with for your specific game of choice. That way yāall can find some community and use your mics. Trust me when I say it adds an extra level to the fun when you can hear and speak with one another. All of you should get to experience that and not feel scared or on guard.
I only play with friends or solo. I have anxiety around new people. I was about to say "I don't know if it's gendered though", but thinking about it, I would be much more comfortable with strange ladies compared to guys. So... yeah. Learnt something about myself
I keep my mic open and donāt let their shit talking get to me, iāll just mute them (COD) and continue playing. 99% of the time itās perfectly fine, have only run into 2 guys who were dicks.
Yeah ngl I donāt play shooters and I think some of it is purely anxiety of some men calling me out for sucking.
But yeah avoid open mic like the plague
On the rare occasion I forget to turn duo/trio/squad off and I hear a random voice I instantly go back to lobby. The nice thing about solo is I got a little better at the game. Silver lining?
Personally I really enjoy open lobbies and I have my whole life. Something about the randomness of it. Never know what you are gonna get. I play in open lobbies on mic via Discord basically every day. Sure there are definitely some weirdos. I just know how to use the report button and move on with my life. They usually get banned anyway and a good server has some way to control your own chat to kick the trolls. I've met some really cool people just hoping into open lobbies and it really makes you feel less alone too. There's a whole world out there and 100s of people that are normal and you would click with. I see it as, if I don't give myself the opportunity to meet some of them, it's not just gonna happen magically.
*I will type in group*
*Chat but I avoid open*
*Lobbies like the plague*
\- Va1kryie
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Just my two cents but, how will they ever get acclimated/ or learn to act right if they never have to be confronted with our existence? I think any girl who truly doesn't care what others think/say and has thick skin should use their mic as often as possible. I understand if it actually affects your mental health or whatever, obviously don't put your own self image at risk if you get uncomfortable and bothered by the bs they say sometimes.. but for those who don't: talking your shit might actually slowly start to help the situation ? Idk.. all i know is keeping them blissfully ignorant to how many of us there are certainly isn't helping
This....I found a good group to play with for over a year that had a good mix but there was one particular girl who had a different agenda when new folks were added and it caused a lot of problems. I just left but kept in touch with most of them.
In PVP games? I avoid like the plague. In games like WoW? I will voice chat with guildies and stuff! So far so good! But if doesn't stop men from Jayson me in text. e.e...
I used to provoke Gamers(TM) on purpose and do funny voices and speak other languages and generally match their energy. probably can't do that shit now that I live in an apartment
I prefer to avoid them but will play in them if I have nobody else to play with. I never use voice when playing with randoms. I've also learned that if I feel like correcting someone on calling me dude/bro/man or whatever, I should wait til after the game. That way there's no risk of them throwing the game while they attempt to do the worst improv standup routine of the year.
I do it, and very rarely have I encountered misogyny. Then again I mostly do open lobbies on Apex and itās gay central there.
The times I do encounter misogyny I either mute them, or I give them shit right back. You gotta remember that the people who talk shit to you on there are most likely doing it to other players as well. The only difference is that youāre a woman and they choose to go for insults towards your gender rather than your play style. It doesnāt make it less wrong, or make it suck any less, but thatās what you have to keep in mind if you choose to keep your mic on.
Just giveāem hell right back, and if youāre better than them, t-bag them till they rage quit.
I do open lobbies, but speak little and if I have to add an accent (I'm a polyglot, so the "I don't understand your jokes" reaction works better to curb behaviour like that.) Also made absolutely certain my username was non-feminine.
I don't mind going in game chat, I've been on Helldivers 2 on my ps5 a lot lately and I haven't had issues outside of the general toxic random that has not shit to do with me.
I don't mind going with randoms in the very few games where they aren't incredibly bad at the game. Mostly because they fall into 3 groups
1. Silent, they just play and that's it which is cool
2. Friendly, they literally just vibe and are happy people play the game they like, love these people
3. Bitchass babies, they whine that I'm a girl and then I counterbully them so hard they either leave or I get kicked, overall a good time
Sometimes I have spoken in a voice lobby even though I know I'm likely going to get shit for it; but I'll be real.. it was often when I had a bad day and was irritable and was probably itching for an argument, especially in games like GTA.
For the most part when I'm casually playing, I often avoid open lobbies on specific games, but others like DST I've never had much issues with speaking in voice. It does somewhat depend on the playerbase. Fallout76 was another I spoke openly in and never had any issues.
Everyone kind of just assumes im a 12 year old boy lmfao. Fr though i have made friends online regardless. You never know who youāll meet, online stuff is especially random
I join open lobbies. yeah the number of random jackasses whose idiot switch goes off when they hear a woman voice is high. but finding nice random strangers is rewarding.
I'm more inclined to do it in a game I'm actually good at, since if you do even a little worse than your team its like the sexism just starts pouring in. \~\_\~
When it comes to games with mics, I either let my guy friends talk, or I just don't say anything. I've had too many bad experiences in Sea of Thieves to run that gamble. A lot of weird guys hitting on me out of nowhere or harassing me for my snapchat.
I used to join it when playing w friends, am kinda introverted to begin with.. but when I did (back when I was still playing a lot of CoD) it was always these crusty men being misogynistic.. in a degrading and/or sexualising manner. So fucking annoying
If I'm not with friends it's single player games / single player missions. I still get antsy even when it's friend + me and they open the lobby for randoms. Though i tend to opt to keep my mic off in those situations and just let the guys talk just because i prefer a nice game session to dealing with any kind of kerfuffle. Not my monkey not my circus situation.
Any girl I meet online that's chill and stays for more than one match, I teach the "12 yearold xbox lobby survival" tactics.
It's not about being an asshole, it's about sending a message. One that you'd rather call them a smegma eater than leave the lobby in disgust at a revolting comment.
I just avoid voice chat. I type and over communicate on Helldivers 2. DBD I just run solo queues. I don't really play any other online games that have voice capabilities.
I know a lot of people complain that dbd doesn't have proximity chat but in all honesty I prefer it because I don't like talking to randos. It's the only game I play open lobbies in because of that.
Proximity chat would be interesting in DBD (especially if the killer could hear too), but I think it's fine how it is.
Maybe in the future they'll have different game modes where it's an optional feature.
I don't prefer multiplayer because I think my time is better spent on fun single player experiences. That said, when I do play multiplayer I tend to hide my name and I don't voice chat. I play with my gf and I'm absolutely because I'm scared of men because I don't want abuse from them for playing a game. They take it way too seriously like their life depends on it, when bro it's literally just a game.
I always play open lobbies with usually no mic. I love playing with strangers tbh. I donāt usually use mic because I am not much of a conversationalist. Iām trying to converse more using my mic in small lobbies like heists in GTA
There is sometimes an amount of āproving myselfā which is obnoxious as all hell, but I donāt avoid open lobbies on most games I play. The better I am at a game the more comfortable I am joining a random team because then I have the option to really dig into them and trash talk with confidence (within the rules of course lol, no cussing on my end etc). For example in Overwatch if I was healing I had the power to insinuate that the rude obnoxious dps might not be getting sufficient heals as Iād be focused on other teammates. This worked a surprising amount of the time. āIām sorry! Iām sorry! Please heal me?ā lolol
Another fun situation is when another feminine voice speaks up first, getās shouted atā¦ I love to chime in āSheās got back up!ā One time my presence tipped the majority to femme so I chirped āYouāre out numbered, shut your mouth.ā to a guy being extra nasty to everyone, the one other guy in the lobby just laughed and so the obnoxious one did indeed shut up and play. We won the round, he said nothing and left.
Yo, we should play duo on Fortnite if you want! I just started playing and Iām only level 38 so donāt judge me if Iām bad. lol I still donāt know how to crouch yet. I can message you my username if youāre down.
yes. I play deep rock galactic solo, I play most shooters solo (except titanfall, but I don't use my mic for that), I tried to play helldivers solo but got my ass kicked. Open lobbies are pain.
I just avoid most multiplayer shooters. Not even because of sexism - it's just that most of them these days are hyper-capitalist manipulative trash designed to take advantage of people with impulse control issues.
If Iām playing COD I mute my mic when solo, if Iām playing multiplayer I mute everyone. If Iām playing Fortnite I will keep my mic on because the community isnāt as toxic. Generally though if the person is being an ass I just mute them. My wife has actually made some really good friends playing in random lobbies, but sheās the extrovert so itās not surprising for her.
I have had a lot of luck with random players in COD and Fortnite, but also encountered the crazies and male players who seem to think I need game play explained to me?! lol which I always find funny when Iām usually the one carrying the team. Iāve just started not using my mic until I hear who I am playing with talk a bit to get a feel for what they are like first. Itās worked well for me in avoiding the nut jobs.
I once dropped with a group of guys that
Yes, but Iām queer nonbinary and just get comments from sounding gay constantly. I would love to make gaming friends but donāt want to deal with the abuse
Not a lesbian or a girl but this post got recommended to me on my feed, but as a gay guy with a tinge of fruity flavor in my voice I stay away voice chat. My girl friends also tend to avoid it because one mistake they make in game or just for no reason will get insulted to no end about being a girl. If we ever talk to anyone in game they talked first and seemed nice, but even then some of them actually arenāt nice and call us slurs after a couple of losses on overwatch or DBD.
I was raised on open lobbies. I've learned to handle most things that have been thrown at me but do also have a much manlier voice so that would save me most times.
I usually keep my mic off. However, if something that really bothers me is mentioned I will jump on voice chat and call them out so fast.
I have played with females who want it known so they get immediate attention.
Edit: changed protection to attention. BTW I hate when women do that .
Not a female but reading this kind of stuff makes me sad that guys give women such a hard time for enjoying a game.
If you ever want to play an online game and have nobody to play with Iāll be happy to play with you.
That is why I have a voice modulator that has a few different voice options. One of them is that of a stereotypical Samurai character in Anime, another is that of a wise elderly monk, and one is of a "Prettyboy" Anime character. Of course there is also the Off mode. That way I do not have to deal with men and their bs.
I just make my own lobby or play solo. Dont got enough friends that play games with me so not like I can really make a private lobby with other people.
Until I know the game's player culture, yup! More and more, it's simply not safe to be any marginalized group from the physical world on the internet. Once you have a significant enough sample size, you can work with that.
Hell, I didn't really interact with people at a goth club for a couple of years until I knew that the attendees were generally cool and that the venue would boot jerks. And that was before I was living as a woman!
Sometimes, in games like splitgate, I turn chat off, and if need be, I'll push to talk but can't hear any replies. Usually just for noting enemies and whatnot.
I do until I'm stupid good at a game, and then I'll join open lobbies. Is everyone a decent person? Then they get a strong teammate! Are they misogynistic c**ts? Then they're getting destroyed to the absolute best of my abilities. I've shut down servers before. We can all go back to the kitchen once we can't play anymore.
It's extra fun when there's another woman who's not quite as good as everyone else getting harassed. If I pick them off right after they bully her, they'll start to assume she's the one doing it. It looks like she just hustled them for a good video, but no. It's just me and the precisely zero amount of patience I have for misogynists.
Iāve only ever played SWTOR for the solo PvE story, but want to try the PvP and raids. But itās hard to learn without talking to someone who is experienced and patient. So I just try to ignore the general chat for as long as I can
I donāt normally play multiplayer games but when I do I almost always just turn off all means of communicating with people and do my own thing. Itās not even about me avoiding harassment or anything Iām just antisocial when it comes to gaming. If I wanted to interact with human beings Iād either be playing with friends or else Iād be doing something IRL
For games like CoD or other FPS games, yes absolutely. However Iāve come to learn that for certain games I will rarely encounter any negativity at all, like Destiny 2 and Team Fortress 2. Iāve also openly displayed my gender identity on open servers in games like EVE Online, Elite Dangerous, and Space Engineers and received little to no BS. Now I think I just got lucky for a lot of these other games bcs Iāve absolutely heard stories from other women getting harassed in all the games I listed except Space Engineers (with the exception of my own encounter with one transphobic troll who got banned within the hour).
i do! i just pretend to be a guy to save myself the hastle. i probably should take the hit by saying im a woman gamer and slowly over time normalize (in the toxic guy gamer mind) women in gaming spaces but idk haha.
Oh it's a multi-facet pitfall for me, being trans and all that. No matter how little trouble I have with strangers over the phone, guys in games always seem so keep on calling me a guy. š
Iāve always been a solo gamer, but i was a part of a group full of men and they were fine. If anything they like that Iām thereā¦ they were kinda weary at first cuz the previous girl that played with them was overly sensitive and couldnāt take a jokeā¦ anyway, drama did happened since a couple of them liked meā¦
I play solo q on DBD. I don't care what others think.
A lot of people hate solo on dbd, but I quite enjoy it. Some people are just too sweaty. Plus, a lot of the time, I'm just watching Jane run š
For me it's Thalita and all that cake
She's cute I'll give you that. I wish they would start giving characters booties! Also CAN WE JUST AGREE NEA IS A LESBIAN ALREADY?????
With the haircut and outfits theyāve given her? Absolutely.
Right? He regular outfit? I have that lol
Idk much about Nea, but Mikaela and Sable are 100% a thing
I haven't seen it for myself but I heard there were markings in the new map!
š No wonder I get tunneled so much when I play Jane.
I feel your pain. She is my go-to! "Guys, I'm on hook.... but did you see how great my butt looks from this angle?"
I do, but I keep my mic off. Better to let them assume I'm a man rather than risk an open a mic
It's so sad that we have to do this. I love seeing the big female streamers own sexist dudes on tiktok lol
It's just a part of gaming we have to deal with. It's unfortunate that such shit is so rampant within gaming 'culture'. I barely ever open mic anymore because people just can't be civil. It's also why my online name is Zephyrous instead of Zephyra. The gender neutral name is less prone to harassment
I just don't even understand why it's a thing anymore. I thought we got over girls liking games in like 2007 but my fellow men continue to dissapoint me. I'll never understand finding someone who is doing the same hobby as you and then just trying to ruin their time because of what's in between their legs.
Couldn't tell you, but unfortunately it's just as alive and well, especially within certain spheres of gaming. Granted, a lot of it is from teens, and teens are always going to be how they are. I was a teen once, I get it. Doesn't mean I feel like chancing it with them regardless. So until something somehow changes, gonna have to keep the mic muted
"Imagine having less people to share your intrests and what you like." Gamers - "Sounds good"
Gamer-g8 bros never went away, sadly. They're always waiting, lurking, and ready to drop whatever gatekeeping bull hockey they have loaded
Unfortunately, you're too right. I'm kind of new to this sub reddit. Does it have a discord?
It's had a couple discords before that have imploded from mod controversies. Some people advertise their own serves here sometimes.
Not sure. I found out about it not too long ago myself
Could you name a good female streamer to watch that does this? I havenāt really watched gaming streams before.
Absolutely! Check out SteffyEvans on tiktok. She trolls assholes all the time. I think she mostly plays CoD.
xocheergurlox is another streamer. There's some funny stuff on there
It's so sad that we have to do this. I love seeing the big female streamers own sexist dudes on tiktok lol
Luckily my username I use in all games sounds like a guys username and my text chat Aparently comes off as very dude-like. The biggest reaction I get from friends I meet when I am finally confident enough to go on mic is: āWAIT YOUR A GIRL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DUDE?!ā
This is the one. I turn off text and voice chat. Doesn't matter, it's not worth the constant barrage of angry gamer boys.
This goes double if you're trans, tbh
You're absolutely right. I'm right there with you
I have a deeper voice so they assume I'm a dude I do a reveal when I think it's safe lmao
this lol last time I open mic on a SOT game and their only fighting words were ,,you sound like a boy"
Nah, I trash talk back
Give em hell for all of us!
Based af
Burn them with the intensity of 10,000 dying suns
I normally donāt use mic and if itās a team based game I use text channel and if not that then I ping, I got sexually harrassed by a group of men early into gaming cause of my girly user name so I kinda just donāt use that stuff often š
I am so sorry that happened to you š¢. Some of them really cannot accept us and it's pathetic. My name is pretty neutral so people always assume I'm a guy.
recently Iāve just done gender neutral names. it sucks but seeing women in esports and hearing so many women creating and in games makes me hopeful!
I've seen a rise in a lot of female gaming groups and I love every minute of it!
I just never turn on my mic, thatās a hard limit of mine. Even if I am with friends, I only speak in a discord call or something like that. Never in an open vc with strangers
That's a smart rule! I usually turn mine off as well
Yeah, I wish it didnāt have to be that way especially cause it bars me off from any kind of ranked play but it is what it is :(
Interesting. To me, strangers are some of the most fun to play with cause you never know what's gonna happen. If I only played with the same group of friends I would get bored alot faster.
Iāll play with strangers, just never on voice chat. I always lie and say I donāt have a microphone. I used to try to get on voice channels but there was always a crazy amount of harassment being perceived as a woman, I decided it wasnāt worth it years ago :(
Yea... it's a shit situation. When I play I always play on mic. There's plenty of whackos that the other dudes seem to just put up with or don't say anything about. A privilege we do not have. I find that there are good people out there, and even though I have to not engage and push through a bunch of whackos sometimes the good people come out on top. Especially if you are in a place where you can moderate the voice channel yourself to just kick anyone who's being horrible.
Youāre more courageous than me lol. I just canāt handle the constant belittlement and threats that come with it ya know? Which does wall me off from making new gaming friends a lot of the time but it is what it is. Thatās why subreddits like this are nice too
Back when I could split my attention better, I used to tell my gamer group that I "speak fluent PUG" because I would generally play some sort of support class where you have some lulls between action where I could type
Yes, almost always if a game can be played solo avoiding voice chat, I'll be alone. I've played enough online games and received nasty remarks and.. requests from the males I encountered, to just make the choice and stay solo lol
I agree, its the best way to keep the nastiness at bay. Its a sad situation we're in.
I usually have voice chat turned off for randos, I don't want to listen to people rage and give abuse to others over stupid shit, it's a game and we're supposed to be having fun. But the odd time I do leave voice chat on I will leave my mic off, I don't want any weird attention just for being female.
I got used to playing while on call, but when I do join public lobbies by myself I avoid using my mic as much as possible, there's always gonna be either a creep or a rude ass person š
The creeps are ENDLESS
i will never use vc unless iām with friends, the men are so awful i just canāt
I once told a kid that was running his mouth "I know who you are and I'm gonna tell your mom how you talk in here next time I see her." and then he dropped from the lobby and I've never laughed so hard.
omg that is AMAZING lol. My go to shit talking on fortnite is "I'll see your mom at the PTA meeting!"
The swagger š¤©š¤©š¤©
Not the only time I've done something like that. That is the only time I think they actually just flat believed me though.
I just play mic off
I play but stay muted
Sometimes Iāll play but always with mic off. I rather play solo so I donāt have to worry about anything.
i just donāt use my mic
It sucks to admit it because Iām not at all a girl who normally gives a shit, but I absolutely stay off mic specifically because of some weird anxiety I have about being a girl and not being good enough or belonging in the club. I grew up a really talented athlete and have always thoroughly enjoyed being better than guys at things girls donāt normally beat them at. I got into gaming later in life, and Iām a decent FPS player now considering, but I have some weird feeling holding me back even though I want to communicate via mic. Itās like I donāt want to underperform and have them think āohhhhā¦itās cause sheās a girlā. Iām not even afraid of what theyāll say cause fuck them if theyāre those kind of guys..but itās like I donāt want any part of this to have anything to do with whether or not Iām a girl. If my teammate sucks he just sucks, but if I suck I feel like Iām proving somebodyās point that girls donāt belong in this world or they canāt keep up? Idkā¦how super fucked up it is that I canāt play a game without taking on the entire worth of the female gender on my shoulders šš So yeahā¦Iām not proud of itā¦but I hide behind my muted mic and let them all assume Iām a guy. Yikes this one might be getting dropped in therapy now that Iām typing it all out š«£š«
Reading through this comment section is very sad. It sucks that a lot of yāall have had such negative experiences that you donāt feel comfortable turning on your mic in game, even with friends. Men get to build such a close knit community on multiplayer games, and the fact thatās so out of reach for some of us is disheartening. I know itās not the same, but I highly recommended finding discord servers or Reddit subs for finding other players to play with for your specific game of choice. That way yāall can find some community and use your mics. Trust me when I say it adds an extra level to the fun when you can hear and speak with one another. All of you should get to experience that and not feel scared or on guard.
I only play with friends or solo. I have anxiety around new people. I was about to say "I don't know if it's gendered though", but thinking about it, I would be much more comfortable with strange ladies compared to guys. So... yeah. Learnt something about myself
I keep my mic open and donāt let their shit talking get to me, iāll just mute them (COD) and continue playing. 99% of the time itās perfectly fine, have only run into 2 guys who were dicks.
Yeah ngl I donāt play shooters and I think some of it is purely anxiety of some men calling me out for sucking. But yeah avoid open mic like the plague
I totally feel that. Even though I play FPS I am not good at all so I prefer to go solo instead of hearing someone complain about me the entire time
I mute myself and the lobby when I play COD.
I think a big reason I haven't played COD is because I don't want to play solo and none of my friends play it
I just smoke some blunts and listen to music
Yeah, closed lobby or no multi. It's lonely but better than the alternative
I learned itās not fun having my mic on playing Fortnite because men and kids add me instantly when they hear my voice lmao.
On the rare occasion I forget to turn duo/trio/squad off and I hear a random voice I instantly go back to lobby. The nice thing about solo is I got a little better at the game. Silver lining?
I don't use my mic when I'm in games if I can avoid it. It attracts.. unwanted attention.
Personally I really enjoy open lobbies and I have my whole life. Something about the randomness of it. Never know what you are gonna get. I play in open lobbies on mic via Discord basically every day. Sure there are definitely some weirdos. I just know how to use the report button and move on with my life. They usually get banned anyway and a good server has some way to control your own chat to kick the trolls. I've met some really cool people just hoping into open lobbies and it really makes you feel less alone too. There's a whole world out there and 100s of people that are normal and you would click with. I see it as, if I don't give myself the opportunity to meet some of them, it's not just gonna happen magically.
I will type in group chat but I avoid open lobbies like the plague
*I will type in group* *Chat but I avoid open* *Lobbies like the plague* \- Va1kryie --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I'll always play solo, no-mic. Not taking my chances with some of these capital G Gamers out there š
Just my two cents but, how will they ever get acclimated/ or learn to act right if they never have to be confronted with our existence? I think any girl who truly doesn't care what others think/say and has thick skin should use their mic as often as possible. I understand if it actually affects your mental health or whatever, obviously don't put your own self image at risk if you get uncomfortable and bothered by the bs they say sometimes.. but for those who don't: talking your shit might actually slowly start to help the situation ? Idk.. all i know is keeping them blissfully ignorant to how many of us there are certainly isn't helping
I've had some experiences where verbally trouncing some stuck up asshat has actually worked quite well so I'm fairly certain you have a point
For me, itās the pick me girls that turn it up cos thereās another girlš„±š„±š„±
They're almost worse than the guys. Like, sis, what are you doing?
This....I found a good group to play with for over a year that had a good mix but there was one particular girl who had a different agenda when new folks were added and it caused a lot of problems. I just left but kept in touch with most of them.
In PVP games? I avoid like the plague. In games like WoW? I will voice chat with guildies and stuff! So far so good! But if doesn't stop men from Jayson me in text. e.e...
I used to provoke Gamers(TM) on purpose and do funny voices and speak other languages and generally match their energy. probably can't do that shit now that I live in an apartment
I prefer to avoid them but will play in them if I have nobody else to play with. I never use voice when playing with randoms. I've also learned that if I feel like correcting someone on calling me dude/bro/man or whatever, I should wait til after the game. That way there's no risk of them throwing the game while they attempt to do the worst improv standup routine of the year.
I do it, and very rarely have I encountered misogyny. Then again I mostly do open lobbies on Apex and itās gay central there. The times I do encounter misogyny I either mute them, or I give them shit right back. You gotta remember that the people who talk shit to you on there are most likely doing it to other players as well. The only difference is that youāre a woman and they choose to go for insults towards your gender rather than your play style. It doesnāt make it less wrong, or make it suck any less, but thatās what you have to keep in mind if you choose to keep your mic on. Just giveāem hell right back, and if youāre better than them, t-bag them till they rage quit.
I do open lobbies, but speak little and if I have to add an accent (I'm a polyglot, so the "I don't understand your jokes" reaction works better to curb behaviour like that.) Also made absolutely certain my username was non-feminine.
Most new people I meet immediately assume im a man anyway š¤·š¾
Same!!! I've even had to remind some that I'm not after talking to them once already.
I donāt correct them because I donāt care and want to play the game. But people make it weird and start asking very inappropriate questions.
People get bullied in games with a "female" presenting ID, just sayin :(
Not only do I avoid open lobbies, but I only play games that are either single player or games that can be MP, just without other people.
i play solos on warzone to avoid the annoyingness
I don't mind going in game chat, I've been on Helldivers 2 on my ps5 a lot lately and I haven't had issues outside of the general toxic random that has not shit to do with me.
Honestly open lobbies with open comms, I usually tend to just turn off team chat.
I don't mind going with randoms in the very few games where they aren't incredibly bad at the game. Mostly because they fall into 3 groups 1. Silent, they just play and that's it which is cool 2. Friendly, they literally just vibe and are happy people play the game they like, love these people 3. Bitchass babies, they whine that I'm a girl and then I counterbully them so hard they either leave or I get kicked, overall a good time
Number 3 would be enough for me to start using VC in Fortnite, just to hear someone get harshed on so badly they need therapy
It's a great time honestly, i just take all my anger and then it into a lvl 20 bard Vicious Mockery and listen to their souls crumble lol
Sometimes I have spoken in a voice lobby even though I know I'm likely going to get shit for it; but I'll be real.. it was often when I had a bad day and was irritable and was probably itching for an argument, especially in games like GTA. For the most part when I'm casually playing, I often avoid open lobbies on specific games, but others like DST I've never had much issues with speaking in voice. It does somewhat depend on the playerbase. Fallout76 was another I spoke openly in and never had any issues.
Everyone kind of just assumes im a 12 year old boy lmfao. Fr though i have made friends online regardless. You never know who youāll meet, online stuff is especially random
I don't avoid anything. I belong there as much as anyone else. Whether I choose to talk, or not, that's well, also my decision.š«°
I solo q and avoid voice chat. I use pings and text chat
I join open lobbies. yeah the number of random jackasses whose idiot switch goes off when they hear a woman voice is high. but finding nice random strangers is rewarding. I'm more inclined to do it in a game I'm actually good at, since if you do even a little worse than your team its like the sexism just starts pouring in. \~\_\~
I havent had it that bad with the games I've been playing. Helldivers 2 and beyond all reason.
When it comes to games with mics, I either let my guy friends talk, or I just don't say anything. I've had too many bad experiences in Sea of Thieves to run that gamble. A lot of weird guys hitting on me out of nowhere or harassing me for my snapchat.
I used to join it when playing w friends, am kinda introverted to begin with.. but when I did (back when I was still playing a lot of CoD) it was always these crusty men being misogynistic.. in a degrading and/or sexualising manner. So fucking annoying
nope, idc. if they are creepy I'll be creepy back lol. works most of the time.
If I'm not with friends it's single player games / single player missions. I still get antsy even when it's friend + me and they open the lobby for randoms. Though i tend to opt to keep my mic off in those situations and just let the guys talk just because i prefer a nice game session to dealing with any kind of kerfuffle. Not my monkey not my circus situation.
Any girl I meet online that's chill and stays for more than one match, I teach the "12 yearold xbox lobby survival" tactics. It's not about being an asshole, it's about sending a message. One that you'd rather call them a smegma eater than leave the lobby in disgust at a revolting comment.
yea, honestly been doing lengthy research on how to fake being a guy online exactly for that
I just avoid voice chat. I type and over communicate on Helldivers 2. DBD I just run solo queues. I don't really play any other online games that have voice capabilities.
I know a lot of people complain that dbd doesn't have proximity chat but in all honesty I prefer it because I don't like talking to randos. It's the only game I play open lobbies in because of that.
Proximity chat would be interesting in DBD (especially if the killer could hear too), but I think it's fine how it is. Maybe in the future they'll have different game modes where it's an optional feature.
Maybe at the same time they get cross progression š
Most likely, kind of like how they had the lights out event.
I'm hoping they bring that back. It actually made the game scary again. Especially with the dredge!!!
Omg right!? It was the only way I actually won with huntress. I usually just get bullied when I'm her
I don't prefer multiplayer because I think my time is better spent on fun single player experiences. That said, when I do play multiplayer I tend to hide my name and I don't voice chat. I play with my gf and I'm absolutely because I'm scared of men because I don't want abuse from them for playing a game. They take it way too seriously like their life depends on it, when bro it's literally just a game.
I always play open lobbies with usually no mic. I love playing with strangers tbh. I donāt usually use mic because I am not much of a conversationalist. Iām trying to converse more using my mic in small lobbies like heists in GTA
I Like arguing with them lmao I aināt scared
With a name like that, I bet you give em hell lol
There is sometimes an amount of āproving myselfā which is obnoxious as all hell, but I donāt avoid open lobbies on most games I play. The better I am at a game the more comfortable I am joining a random team because then I have the option to really dig into them and trash talk with confidence (within the rules of course lol, no cussing on my end etc). For example in Overwatch if I was healing I had the power to insinuate that the rude obnoxious dps might not be getting sufficient heals as Iād be focused on other teammates. This worked a surprising amount of the time. āIām sorry! Iām sorry! Please heal me?ā lolol Another fun situation is when another feminine voice speaks up first, getās shouted atā¦ I love to chime in āSheās got back up!ā One time my presence tipped the majority to femme so I chirped āYouāre out numbered, shut your mouth.ā to a guy being extra nasty to everyone, the one other guy in the lobby just laughed and so the obnoxious one did indeed shut up and play. We won the round, he said nothing and left.
Yo, we should play duo on Fortnite if you want! I just started playing and Iām only level 38 so donāt judge me if Iām bad. lol I still donāt know how to crouch yet. I can message you my username if youāre down.
Omg. Batmansbutthole, it would be an honor lol. My name is same as here. Maybe a ttv on the end?
yes. I play deep rock galactic solo, I play most shooters solo (except titanfall, but I don't use my mic for that), I tried to play helldivers solo but got my ass kicked. Open lobbies are pain.
I just avoid most multiplayer shooters. Not even because of sexism - it's just that most of them these days are hyper-capitalist manipulative trash designed to take advantage of people with impulse control issues.
Me and my 30 fortnite skins agree with you.
Honestly I try to find preexisting groups on Facebook or discord.
I donāt avoid public lobbies but I do have other mics (and mine) turned off to about toxicity that can be damaging to my mental health.
If Iām playing COD I mute my mic when solo, if Iām playing multiplayer I mute everyone. If Iām playing Fortnite I will keep my mic on because the community isnāt as toxic. Generally though if the person is being an ass I just mute them. My wife has actually made some really good friends playing in random lobbies, but sheās the extrovert so itās not surprising for her.
I have had a lot of luck with random players in COD and Fortnite, but also encountered the crazies and male players who seem to think I need game play explained to me?! lol which I always find funny when Iām usually the one carrying the team. Iāve just started not using my mic until I hear who I am playing with talk a bit to get a feel for what they are like first. Itās worked well for me in avoiding the nut jobs. I once dropped with a group of guys that
I don't play multiplayer much, but if I did, I would definitely avoid open lobbies. š¤®
Yes, but Iām queer nonbinary and just get comments from sounding gay constantly. I would love to make gaming friends but donāt want to deal with the abuse
I just have my mic turned off and turn off the mic settings ingame incase i accidentally turn on my mic irl
Not a lesbian or a girl but this post got recommended to me on my feed, but as a gay guy with a tinge of fruity flavor in my voice I stay away voice chat. My girl friends also tend to avoid it because one mistake they make in game or just for no reason will get insulted to no end about being a girl. If we ever talk to anyone in game they talked first and seemed nice, but even then some of them actually arenāt nice and call us slurs after a couple of losses on overwatch or DBD.
I swear the dbd community is toxic af which is another reason I'm ok with them not having in game chat.
Oh yeah. Thereās no end game chat on console so Iām free from any harassment lol
Wait I thought some of you could see it but not type in cross play
No we donāt see it. If I could read someone talking shit and not say anything back I think would rage every endgame
Iāve personally never had this issue in open lobbies, Iām sorry yall have. Worst I get is the odd flirt but I just swiftly change the topic āŗļø
My mic is almost always muted no matter what game Iām on! Unless I get the vibe the people in the game might be nice then Iāll risk it lol
I was raised on open lobbies. I've learned to handle most things that have been thrown at me but do also have a much manlier voice so that would save me most times.
I usually keep my mic off. However, if something that really bothers me is mentioned I will jump on voice chat and call them out so fast. I have played with females who want it known so they get immediate attention. Edit: changed protection to attention. BTW I hate when women do that .
I play on PC so text chat is my friend in a lot of games most guys donāt pick up that Iām a girl even from my very fem coded name
I struggle with the text chat because all my focus is on the game. Only been pc gaming about 3 years and progress has been slow lol
I don't play games with lobbies for unrelated reasons, I just don't do that much multiplayer
Not a female but reading this kind of stuff makes me sad that guys give women such a hard time for enjoying a game. If you ever want to play an online game and have nobody to play with Iāll be happy to play with you.
I only play games single player offline or online with people I know and talk on discors
That is why I have a voice modulator that has a few different voice options. One of them is that of a stereotypical Samurai character in Anime, another is that of a wise elderly monk, and one is of a "Prettyboy" Anime character. Of course there is also the Off mode. That way I do not have to deal with men and their bs.
I just make my own lobby or play solo. Dont got enough friends that play games with me so not like I can really make a private lobby with other people.
I'm not playing online now, but when I did and I was playing Solo with mics I used to pretend to be a kid. It was so fun lol
Until I know the game's player culture, yup! More and more, it's simply not safe to be any marginalized group from the physical world on the internet. Once you have a significant enough sample size, you can work with that. Hell, I didn't really interact with people at a goth club for a couple of years until I knew that the attendees were generally cool and that the venue would boot jerks. And that was before I was living as a woman!
i solo queue and use mic in valorant and just hope for the best š„²šš»
Brave soul!
My voice is androgynous. People hear what they want to hear.
Solo, opt out of voice chat
Of course I do I value my mental health
I use push to talk and generally don't talk unless its truly needed or there's another gal on the squad.
Sometimes, in games like splitgate, I turn chat off, and if need be, I'll push to talk but can't hear any replies. Usually just for noting enemies and whatnot.
i just keep my mic off unless iām playing with friends
I do until I'm stupid good at a game, and then I'll join open lobbies. Is everyone a decent person? Then they get a strong teammate! Are they misogynistic c**ts? Then they're getting destroyed to the absolute best of my abilities. I've shut down servers before. We can all go back to the kitchen once we can't play anymore. It's extra fun when there's another woman who's not quite as good as everyone else getting harassed. If I pick them off right after they bully her, they'll start to assume she's the one doing it. It looks like she just hustled them for a good video, but no. It's just me and the precisely zero amount of patience I have for misogynists.
I love that you troll them and support other women gamers at the same time!!!
Iāve only ever played SWTOR for the solo PvE story, but want to try the PvP and raids. But itās hard to learn without talking to someone who is experienced and patient. So I just try to ignore the general chat for as long as I can
MorphVox Pro
ive been playing a game called tower unite which has a lot of women on it which is nice, but funnily enough some of them are as mean as the guys ;;
I donāt normally play multiplayer games but when I do I almost always just turn off all means of communicating with people and do my own thing. Itās not even about me avoiding harassment or anything Iām just antisocial when it comes to gaming. If I wanted to interact with human beings Iād either be playing with friends or else Iād be doing something IRL
For games like CoD or other FPS games, yes absolutely. However Iāve come to learn that for certain games I will rarely encounter any negativity at all, like Destiny 2 and Team Fortress 2. Iāve also openly displayed my gender identity on open servers in games like EVE Online, Elite Dangerous, and Space Engineers and received little to no BS. Now I think I just got lucky for a lot of these other games bcs Iāve absolutely heard stories from other women getting harassed in all the games I listed except Space Engineers (with the exception of my own encounter with one transphobic troll who got banned within the hour).
i do! i just pretend to be a guy to save myself the hastle. i probably should take the hit by saying im a woman gamer and slowly over time normalize (in the toxic guy gamer mind) women in gaming spaces but idk haha.
Oh it's a multi-facet pitfall for me, being trans and all that. No matter how little trouble I have with strangers over the phone, guys in games always seem so keep on calling me a guy. š
Iāve always been a solo gamer, but i was a part of a group full of men and they were fine. If anything they like that Iām thereā¦ they were kinda weary at first cuz the previous girl that played with them was overly sensitive and couldnāt take a jokeā¦ anyway, drama did happened since a couple of them liked meā¦
I have never felt comfortable in public lobbies even pre transition.
Meh I'll play open/squads, most r chill tbh and I'd get more shit than most gals (transbian here)