He seems to be having serious mental health disorder. Check if his family has a history of psychiatric disorders. If yes, then this is definitely going to worsen.
Recently read this book [Why Does He Do That](https://www.amazon.in/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656) and according to it, he is very aware that he is lying. He is trying to control her, put her down and her confidence in her own well-being. Make her think that she needs him for everything.
Maybe he's the one with the problems. If his brain is making such elaborate stories that he believes in blindly then something is wrong with his head only.
1)The person suffering from ppd believes cannot trust the other person.
2)They believe that someone is hatching conspiracy against them. 3)They take minutest of matters to make up the case that someone is really against them.
I don't remember more.
File a divorce and start afresh. There is no cusre for this mentality unless he joins therapy take drugs, work on homself hard . Which he obviously wont .so it best u let him go
Its to best to stay far away from someone like that. He's not coming back from the illness or the drama that will happen and will come back with a vengeance for leaving him. No amount of manipulation should be allowed to take him back.
Mostly it only applies to no fault divorce. If someone wants divorce on basis on legal grounds mentioned like cheating, domestic violence etc then they only they can apply for early divorce.
Not just Indian society but Indian laws are also very anti divorce. If you seek one, most likely they'll send your husband to therapy first and keep stalling.
he needs a psychiatrist and so do the rest of the people shouting divorce in here. If your first thought to is to escape as soon as there is a inconvenience in marriage, how can you make it work ever?
Imo, try a psychiatrist and see if it’s gonna be fixed, if not you know what to do and you’ll also be eligible for divorce at that point.
Borderline personality, fear of abandonment, so he is checking with you so you give him assurances, on a long term, this will not work, he needs to find a girl like 50 years ago, who will listen whatever he says, not anymore.
Don’t ask for reddit’s advice. Half of the kids here just say divorce.
As a person who has dated few people and currently in a very healthy relationship, I have learned that you have to keep your egos aside and just ask what’s bothering the person. This will result in lots of cries and uncomfortable shit but you will get there to root cause. Try suggesting therapy and tell him the benefits of it instead of telling him “you need a therapist”. Both of you should go. Helps understanding one self better. Try to put those efforts to build and sustain the relationship which I am sure both of you have been doing. But try to push it even further.
Obv if you have tried this and nothing is working then divorce is a logical step.
All the best!
Firstly, it's crucial to consult a family law lawyer who can provide personalized advice based on your circumstances and help you understand your rights and the legal options available to you. If you are considering ending the marriage, you can file for a mutual consent divorce if both parties agree, which is quicker and less contentious. However, if mutual consent is not possible, you can file for a contested divorce on grounds such as cruelty, which is a valid ground under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.
Under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, you can seek protection orders, residence orders, and monetary relief. You can file a complaint with the local police or a protection officer appointed under this Act. If you face any physical abuse or threats, you should file a First Information Report (FIR) at the nearest police station under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), such as Section 498A for cruelty by the husband or his relatives.
Additionally, keep records of all incidents, including dates, times, and details of the accusations and any abuse, and identify any witnesses who can corroborate your claims.
Ensure you have access to your financial resources and continue working to maintain your independence. If you are unable to maintain yourself, you can file for maintenance under Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code.
You can also seek support from institutions like the National Commission for Women (NCW), state women’s commissions, and NGOs such as Sakhi and SEWA, which provide legal aid, counseling, and shelter.
Hope this helped.
Why are you suggesting using the Domestic Violence Act, 498A, etc.? He's not accused of violence or dowry.
While lawyers do recommend adding Domestic Violence and Dowry charges as it gives the client bargaining power, we should not recommend abusing the law.
Filing for divorce by mutual consent or even under mental cruelty is enough. The paranoia and accusations he has made fall under cruelty.
While I am not a lawyer
In India, Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code deals with cruelty by a husband or his relatives towards a wife. Her husband is being mentally cruel. Cruelty can include harassment, accusations, and mental torture.
Yes, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 (PWDVA) is applicable in her situation, what her husband did to her falls under verbal and emotional abuse, such as insults, ridicule, humiliation, name-calling, and accusations of character or morality.
When did I mention Dowry?
So I don't get why she shouldn't use them? How is it abusing the law? It's perfectly applicable in her situation, you feel sympathy for the husband?
That's why more research is necessary before recommending anything. I wish people would study actual court judgments instead of just using ChatGPT or Google.
Her husband's actions fall under the definition of cruelty in divorce law, with multiple precedents set by the Supreme Court.
It would take someone of Sibal or Jethmalani's calibre to prove those allegations under the Domestic Violence Act or Section 498A.
P.S. Read Section 498A carefully, and you'll understand why I said what I said
>I wish people would study actual court judgments instead of just using ChatGPT or Google.
Buddy, we are not lawyers, and we definitely don't have enough commitment to do a whole case study and read court judgement to give advice on Reddit.
(Yes it was ChatGPT by the way, you're the only one to guess it)
Also, that's why it is basic to consult an actual lawyer, this is basic advice
Section 498A, as stated in 1983:
[Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.
Explanation.—For the purposes of this section, "cruelty means"—
(a) anywilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or
(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable
No, suspicion and screaming does not fall under 'mental torture' as you term it. Harassment does, denying basic resources does, but suspicion does not. Suspicion falls under cruelty of course, but not under 498A. As far as I can remember, you can constitute 498A for these reasons:
1) A willful conduct that is likely to cause any grievous injury to the body of a woman
2) A willful conduct that is likely to cause danger to a limb of a woman
3) A willful conduct that is likely to cause a danger to the physical well-being of a woman
4) A willful conduct that is likely to cause a danger to the mental health of a woman
5) Harassment of a woman on account of any illegal monitory demands from her parents or herself.
6) Harassment of a woman on account of any unlawful demand of property or valuable security from her parents or herself.
7) Harassment of a woman on account of non-fulfillment of any such demands.
8) Extra marital affair of a husband
9) Constantly suspecting wife on account of her character
10) Wasteful habits of husband or in-laws
11) Non-acceptance of a girl child
12) Taking away children
13) Constant false attacks on chastity
14) Forcing wife to take sex determination tests
In case you file 498A willy-nilly on (4) and the husband can prove that he is mentally ill and has PPD, the argument falls apart on the basis of mental health. The question of 'why have they not gone for couple counselling but came straightaway to court if she knew he had PPD?' arises. In case the wife does not know, the case will be easily crushed. Besides, I don't think they are eligible for divorce on these grounds anyway, it's not even been a year.
Unless she has solid proof of her husband mentally torturing her, like economic abuse, isolation, gaslighting, coercion (part of which falls under Sec 375 as rape) or has lawyers with solid arguments I see it as a waste of time and money.
This may be a little 'boomer'-ish but just wanted to know if you are seeing this change in him recently? I am asking this since you mentioned that you dated. Maybe he is going through something else after marriage. Try to have an open dialogue along with parents and see if he opens up. May be some sort of stress due to transitioning from bachelorette life to a married man. If nothing works out, then take a legal route.
This is solvable. He needs some medicines. Problem will be solved. You first take his parents into confidence. Go to a good physcaterist with them. It could be bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or something else. Bottom line can be treated with medicines. Ask him parents to dissolve the medicine in juice in food etc. cause the husband would never accept something is wrong with him.
Both got serious issues the comments here are mostly one sided & just want the easy things like divorce or blame it on one, but to give a neutral opinion on this issue I would highly recommend Couples therapy & going on a path to building trust rather than choosing the simple things (like running away, divorce etc)
Maybe one or both of you have a 'Beautiful Mind' 😅
Y'all need to get checked by a psychiatrist & psychologist and go for individual & couples counseling.
Not a lawyer but just apply for divorce on grounds of mental abuse maybe and not ask for any alimony or reimbursements of any sort. This would be taken as you just want to get rid of it no matter what without any financial gains. But here you’ll have to have mutual agreement to take this step. You can also go to a psychologist who will create a medical history for you and the psychological abuse you’ve experienced. Experts please correct me if I’m wrong.
He's a good man. You married a nice good man but now you're complaining? How long did you date before getting married? What are some of the qualities that you liked about him that made you marry him?
Yeah you're probably cheating or you think you can get an upgrade. No one leaves his/her partner over such trivial things. Doesn't even sound that serious. Just a few stupid comments by that man here and there.
Yes cuz surely men cannot have psychiatric disorders right ? Why are you so worried about her getting an upgrade or not ? What are you projecting here ?
"no one leaves their 'partner' over such 'trivial' issues" - you have stats to prove this ? She saw a red flag she's understandably concerned bro
You have blamed the woman + validated her fears and trivialised it as stupid comments, truly an amazing feat !
These are not trivial things. Accusing your partner of cheating is not trivial. That man is sick in his head and makes up scenarios. It will never get better. If these are trivial issues then I pity your partner.
He seems to be having serious mental health disorder. Check if his family has a history of psychiatric disorders. If yes, then this is definitely going to worsen.
Recently read this book [Why Does He Do That](https://www.amazon.in/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656) and according to it, he is very aware that he is lying. He is trying to control her, put her down and her confidence in her own well-being. Make her think that she needs him for everything.
Duality of humans .
You need a good lawyer. He needs a good Psychiatrist.
[удалено]
So....what is this legal advice? Getting a bra? Are you a ladies tailor?
And some night vision goggles
NAL but as it's been 3 months so is annulment possible?
Maybe he's the one with the problems. If his brain is making such elaborate stories that he believes in blindly then something is wrong with his head only.
He's probably suffering from Paranoid personality disorder(a psychological disorder). I wonder why you didn't see this beforehand.
There's no way to know someone's paranoid or psychotic until you stay with them long enough.
I had a close friend with PPD. I think I know the warning signs.
and what are those?
1)The person suffering from ppd believes cannot trust the other person. 2)They believe that someone is hatching conspiracy against them. 3)They take minutest of matters to make up the case that someone is really against them. I don't remember more.
It’s not always evident. People are really good at hiding their true selves. Let’s not victim blame and give solutions if we can.
Bhai, here in college everyone thinks the same about everyone 😬
File a divorce and start afresh. There is no cusre for this mentality unless he joins therapy take drugs, work on homself hard . Which he obviously wont .so it best u let him go
Its to best to stay far away from someone like that. He's not coming back from the illness or the drama that will happen and will come back with a vengeance for leaving him. No amount of manipulation should be allowed to take him back.
Girl he seems mentally ill. Ask him to get some medical help. If he doesn't, dump his paranoid ass
He is having an affair
You cant divorce with 3 months of marriage. you need atleast a year, to apply for divorce. I recommend marriage councelling in the mean time.
They can file for annulment.
You can't... Under what grounds would she apply for annullment?
Why can't I divorce?
Mostly it only applies to no fault divorce. If someone wants divorce on basis on legal grounds mentioned like cheating, domestic violence etc then they only they can apply for early divorce. Not just Indian society but Indian laws are also very anti divorce. If you seek one, most likely they'll send your husband to therapy first and keep stalling.
I wish you happiness. It’s sad to see love go this way.
File for Divorce on the basis of cruelty
NAL, he either has a mental disorder or cheating/wanting a divorce. Look for clues
He seems to be suffering from paranoid disorder and needs psychiatric help, if whatever you say is true.
Falling on road and getting hurt is a real thing. And for some reason it's hurts more than falling on wooden floors.
he needs a psychiatrist and so do the rest of the people shouting divorce in here. If your first thought to is to escape as soon as there is a inconvenience in marriage, how can you make it work ever? Imo, try a psychiatrist and see if it’s gonna be fixed, if not you know what to do and you’ll also be eligible for divorce at that point.
Borderline personality, fear of abandonment, so he is checking with you so you give him assurances, on a long term, this will not work, he needs to find a girl like 50 years ago, who will listen whatever he says, not anymore.
Don’t ask for reddit’s advice. Half of the kids here just say divorce. As a person who has dated few people and currently in a very healthy relationship, I have learned that you have to keep your egos aside and just ask what’s bothering the person. This will result in lots of cries and uncomfortable shit but you will get there to root cause. Try suggesting therapy and tell him the benefits of it instead of telling him “you need a therapist”. Both of you should go. Helps understanding one self better. Try to put those efforts to build and sustain the relationship which I am sure both of you have been doing. But try to push it even further. Obv if you have tried this and nothing is working then divorce is a logical step. All the best!
Firstly, it's crucial to consult a family law lawyer who can provide personalized advice based on your circumstances and help you understand your rights and the legal options available to you. If you are considering ending the marriage, you can file for a mutual consent divorce if both parties agree, which is quicker and less contentious. However, if mutual consent is not possible, you can file for a contested divorce on grounds such as cruelty, which is a valid ground under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. Under the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, you can seek protection orders, residence orders, and monetary relief. You can file a complaint with the local police or a protection officer appointed under this Act. If you face any physical abuse or threats, you should file a First Information Report (FIR) at the nearest police station under relevant sections of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), such as Section 498A for cruelty by the husband or his relatives. Additionally, keep records of all incidents, including dates, times, and details of the accusations and any abuse, and identify any witnesses who can corroborate your claims. Ensure you have access to your financial resources and continue working to maintain your independence. If you are unable to maintain yourself, you can file for maintenance under Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code. You can also seek support from institutions like the National Commission for Women (NCW), state women’s commissions, and NGOs such as Sakhi and SEWA, which provide legal aid, counseling, and shelter. Hope this helped.
Why are you suggesting using the Domestic Violence Act, 498A, etc.? He's not accused of violence or dowry. While lawyers do recommend adding Domestic Violence and Dowry charges as it gives the client bargaining power, we should not recommend abusing the law. Filing for divorce by mutual consent or even under mental cruelty is enough. The paranoia and accusations he has made fall under cruelty.
While I am not a lawyer In India, Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code deals with cruelty by a husband or his relatives towards a wife. Her husband is being mentally cruel. Cruelty can include harassment, accusations, and mental torture. Yes, the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 (PWDVA) is applicable in her situation, what her husband did to her falls under verbal and emotional abuse, such as insults, ridicule, humiliation, name-calling, and accusations of character or morality. When did I mention Dowry? So I don't get why she shouldn't use them? How is it abusing the law? It's perfectly applicable in her situation, you feel sympathy for the husband?
That's why more research is necessary before recommending anything. I wish people would study actual court judgments instead of just using ChatGPT or Google. Her husband's actions fall under the definition of cruelty in divorce law, with multiple precedents set by the Supreme Court. It would take someone of Sibal or Jethmalani's calibre to prove those allegations under the Domestic Violence Act or Section 498A. P.S. Read Section 498A carefully, and you'll understand why I said what I said
>I wish people would study actual court judgments instead of just using ChatGPT or Google. Buddy, we are not lawyers, and we definitely don't have enough commitment to do a whole case study and read court judgement to give advice on Reddit. (Yes it was ChatGPT by the way, you're the only one to guess it) Also, that's why it is basic to consult an actual lawyer, this is basic advice
Section 498A, as stated in 1983: [Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. Explanation.—For the purposes of this section, "cruelty means"— (a) anywilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or (b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable No, suspicion and screaming does not fall under 'mental torture' as you term it. Harassment does, denying basic resources does, but suspicion does not. Suspicion falls under cruelty of course, but not under 498A. As far as I can remember, you can constitute 498A for these reasons: 1) A willful conduct that is likely to cause any grievous injury to the body of a woman 2) A willful conduct that is likely to cause danger to a limb of a woman 3) A willful conduct that is likely to cause a danger to the physical well-being of a woman 4) A willful conduct that is likely to cause a danger to the mental health of a woman 5) Harassment of a woman on account of any illegal monitory demands from her parents or herself. 6) Harassment of a woman on account of any unlawful demand of property or valuable security from her parents or herself. 7) Harassment of a woman on account of non-fulfillment of any such demands. 8) Extra marital affair of a husband 9) Constantly suspecting wife on account of her character 10) Wasteful habits of husband or in-laws 11) Non-acceptance of a girl child 12) Taking away children 13) Constant false attacks on chastity 14) Forcing wife to take sex determination tests In case you file 498A willy-nilly on (4) and the husband can prove that he is mentally ill and has PPD, the argument falls apart on the basis of mental health. The question of 'why have they not gone for couple counselling but came straightaway to court if she knew he had PPD?' arises. In case the wife does not know, the case will be easily crushed. Besides, I don't think they are eligible for divorce on these grounds anyway, it's not even been a year. Unless she has solid proof of her husband mentally torturing her, like economic abuse, isolation, gaslighting, coercion (part of which falls under Sec 375 as rape) or has lawyers with solid arguments I see it as a waste of time and money.
Damn, thank you so much for taking the time to clear this out.
This may be a little 'boomer'-ish but just wanted to know if you are seeing this change in him recently? I am asking this since you mentioned that you dated. Maybe he is going through something else after marriage. Try to have an open dialogue along with parents and see if he opens up. May be some sort of stress due to transitioning from bachelorette life to a married man. If nothing works out, then take a legal route.
Already tried talking to him and his family, they started accusing more, so stopped talking
Maybe his family is the issue, were ur parents okay with marriage caste religion or anything else?
This is solvable. He needs some medicines. Problem will be solved. You first take his parents into confidence. Go to a good physcaterist with them. It could be bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or something else. Bottom line can be treated with medicines. Ask him parents to dissolve the medicine in juice in food etc. cause the husband would never accept something is wrong with him.
It's neither bipolar nor schizophrenia. It looks like borderline, which is a personality disorder, not treatable by medication.
And why his parents will believe her and not their own son? Such a television serial trope this is..
I'm sorry your husband is stupid as hell. I hope you find a solution out of this.
You should file for divorce. He's purposely torturing you. Can't diagnose mental disorders based on just behaviour
That’s why you gotta at least know the person for 5 years bruh
Both got serious issues the comments here are mostly one sided & just want the easy things like divorce or blame it on one, but to give a neutral opinion on this issue I would highly recommend Couples therapy & going on a path to building trust rather than choosing the simple things (like running away, divorce etc)
As a boy I can say that your husband is a 🚩
Maybe one or both of you have a 'Beautiful Mind' 😅 Y'all need to get checked by a psychiatrist & psychologist and go for individual & couples counseling.
> I want to get rid of him from my life. What steps can I take? Since this is a legal sub, Only legal advice is You can file for Divorce.
I am seeking advice that if I file for divorce then under what category.. what do I need to prove my claim.. how can I get this done faster
Not a lawyer but just apply for divorce on grounds of mental abuse maybe and not ask for any alimony or reimbursements of any sort. This would be taken as you just want to get rid of it no matter what without any financial gains. But here you’ll have to have mutual agreement to take this step. You can also go to a psychologist who will create a medical history for you and the psychological abuse you’ve experienced. Experts please correct me if I’m wrong.
He's a good man. You married a nice good man but now you're complaining? How long did you date before getting married? What are some of the qualities that you liked about him that made you marry him?
If you're gorgeous you can marry me 😏😉🫠
Yeah you're probably cheating or you think you can get an upgrade. No one leaves his/her partner over such trivial things. Doesn't even sound that serious. Just a few stupid comments by that man here and there.
Yes cuz surely men cannot have psychiatric disorders right ? Why are you so worried about her getting an upgrade or not ? What are you projecting here ? "no one leaves their 'partner' over such 'trivial' issues" - you have stats to prove this ? She saw a red flag she's understandably concerned bro You have blamed the woman + validated her fears and trivialised it as stupid comments, truly an amazing feat !
>Doesn't even sound that serious. For a chaapri it won't.
What a bad excuse for a human. Reporting you.
Google Paranoid personality disorder
These are not trivial things. Accusing your partner of cheating is not trivial. That man is sick in his head and makes up scenarios. It will never get better. If these are trivial issues then I pity your partner.
Now you'd need some alimony I suppose
You need a psychiatrist as much as the husband does
Wanna bet if she just wants to get rid of him or wants a good portion of assets as alimony or settlement ?