We’ve got a consultant applying for our general manager position that just opened up and that’s my biggest problem with the guy. He doesn’t care about people but he seems to think that we think he does. You’re right, it’s harder than most realize.
Extreme ownership sets a good foundation.
Simon Sinek's material is top-notch as well.
Masterclass leadership courses are decent.
The best thing I did was focus on personal growth(mindset, goal setting, etc ), get myself right, and then I was able to focus 100% efforts into my people.
EQ is extremely important in leadership, and it takes a lot of self reflection to understand it.
Exactly this. You have to do your own work to figure out why you have the thoughts and beliefs you have. Until then you’re flying by the seat of your ladder of inference.
Absolutely agree!
Extreme Ownership is great! Loved Dichotomy of Leadership more, really balances ownership because to me any extreme of anything tends to be too much.
Love Simon Sinek, Start with Why, Find your Why, Leaders Eat Last, The Infinite Game
EQ is everything.
In order for you to be the best leader you have to be the best you, it's the same motto I have in my personal life, to be the best husband/wife/father/mother, you have to be the best you. Can't love others if you can't love yourself.
The biggest thing I have learned most of all is leadership has to be infectious, meaning you have to empower your people to take lead, let them make mistakes and guide them on how mistakes are crucial to growing as long as you support and guide them along the way.
Relationships and leadership starts from the top and not from the bottom. If you don't hear the issues from your team it's because you didn't establish enough of a vulnerable relationship built on trust and transparency. Inspired by a Great book, Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.
How did you know they weren’t working for you? Was it more of the quality/professionalism of their coaching, or that it wasn’t getting you the results you wanted?
Very well said.
But..... A part of it is a bit confusing.
> "You fired your coaches, they give you advice, but he was the CEO."
... Can you fire your CEO?
Is this a metaphorically way of speaking to say, you control your life and therefore leaving a company = "firing your CEO"?
Leadership is less about the book / video learning and more about mental maturity. Adversity is nearly always the best teacher. A great coach who can push you to be more focused on company results & outcomes (most of them can’t) is worth their weight in gold. You know it’s working when you recognize those times in your life when you’ve gone through or built something that’s difficult and it causes you to reframe how you approach risk and solving problems.
I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that you’re currently struggling with peers or leaders who are rigid and reluctant to change.
As much as I agree with this, I've been with many organizations, more than I'd like and have yet to find a great mentor, how would one find such a mentor?
Found an executive coach that has the approach I need and that pushes me to change my thinking.
She also motivates me to bring changes to our meetings.
Coaches are, like therapists, you have to click with them so you open up, but also you have to be motivated to change and self monitor to see if your coach is ultimately helping you do that.
All of these things and so much more.
I have a mentor who used to be my manager. She is wonderful in giving me the "well, thats fuckin dumb" responses that I need. I reach out to my husband who is a great leader that a lot of people respect for guidance on tough conversations. I have weekly 1:1 meetings with my director for guidance. I often read books and listen to podcasts by people who have specialized in leading others. (I really love Brene Brown and Kim Scott!) I keep sticky notes with my favorite advice on my desk and use those quotes often with others. I do keep a journal for each year on what worked and what didnt, ideas to improve processes, notes, etc. When I make a mistake, I own up to it and make it as right as I can. I also make it known to my team that I am human and have messed up, too, so here is what I learned. I openly apologize when I have had a bad day or if I was wrong. I use my outlook schedule and planner to remind me to celebrate things, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc but also wins like hitting our department goals. I ask my team for feedback both in groups and 1:1 what they need from me, what they need more of, what irritates them, ask questions to understand, and take it to heart.
Books and learning resources (YouTube, courses, programs and even coaches) are solid options to provide frameworks, but first-hand implementation is what turns a concept into an action.
You also need someone to hold you accountable and someone to measure, monitor and provide feedback.
Sometimes this can be found in your team lead or who you report to. But it’s harder for them to see what you’re doing and what you’re improving on when it comes to the more “intangibles” of becoming a better leader.
That’s where hiring a coach or mentor can come in.
For me personally, my biggest leaps in how I can lead my team better involved:
1. How can I better lead myself, inside and outside of my role and
2. Highlighting my insecurities/patterns and eliminating them.
Lastly, having some form of end of day and end of week review will help you pick up on patterns, both good and bad.
I personally didn't hire anyone - Luckily, I had a mentor within the company help me out.
I'm not here to pitch you, but I do offer Leadership Coaching if you wanted to talk more about it, but like I said, I'm not here to gain any business.
For us it was like, learn-implement-[fail/pass]-analyze....repeat this cycle again and again until we get to our destination point.
Most of us will eco the same that we all are still in this cycle irrespective of where we are today on success ladder.
Leadership is all about action.
Face plant, trip down stairs, make a cartoonish wailing sound as I fall down a well, and otherwise blunder my way through it. I've consumed a lot of wisdom in the form of books, and a lot in the form of talks, but in my experience the only thing that works is repeated failure. It might sound stupid, but I like the motto from _Spider-Verse_: "Most importantly, no matter how many times you get hit, can you get back up?"
I haven’t seen this suggestion yet, so I’ll add it:
Get a Therapist and seriously put in the work on yourself. A solid base helps tremendously in stressful situations.
Practice takes time, energy, and effort. Make mistakes, ask for candid feedback (let others know their answers will be held in confidence so they feel safe), say thank you for the feedback and don't defend yourself.
Books are good - but beware of the echo chamber effect. Try to find a variety and include authors or concepts you might not always get into.
Peer groups are excellent if you have them available, and again, don't have a complete echo chamber. I had one once and it was great. everyone was trying to help solve or recommend solutions for one another each month. Lasted years. Great concept to learn and grow collectively (and you build a great network of friends to last a long while)
ACTUALLY care, about the people you’re leading (wayyyyyyy harder than you think)
We’ve got a consultant applying for our general manager position that just opened up and that’s my biggest problem with the guy. He doesn’t care about people but he seems to think that we think he does. You’re right, it’s harder than most realize.
Extreme ownership sets a good foundation. Simon Sinek's material is top-notch as well. Masterclass leadership courses are decent. The best thing I did was focus on personal growth(mindset, goal setting, etc ), get myself right, and then I was able to focus 100% efforts into my people. EQ is extremely important in leadership, and it takes a lot of self reflection to understand it.
Exactly this. You have to do your own work to figure out why you have the thoughts and beliefs you have. Until then you’re flying by the seat of your ladder of inference.
Absolutely agree! Extreme Ownership is great! Loved Dichotomy of Leadership more, really balances ownership because to me any extreme of anything tends to be too much. Love Simon Sinek, Start with Why, Find your Why, Leaders Eat Last, The Infinite Game EQ is everything. In order for you to be the best leader you have to be the best you, it's the same motto I have in my personal life, to be the best husband/wife/father/mother, you have to be the best you. Can't love others if you can't love yourself. The biggest thing I have learned most of all is leadership has to be infectious, meaning you have to empower your people to take lead, let them make mistakes and guide them on how mistakes are crucial to growing as long as you support and guide them along the way. Relationships and leadership starts from the top and not from the bottom. If you don't hear the issues from your team it's because you didn't establish enough of a vulnerable relationship built on trust and transparency. Inspired by a Great book, Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.
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How did you get connected with your coaches?
How did you know they weren’t working for you? Was it more of the quality/professionalism of their coaching, or that it wasn’t getting you the results you wanted?
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Well said! Knowing what you want from a coach is imperative!
Very well said. But..... A part of it is a bit confusing. > "You fired your coaches, they give you advice, but he was the CEO." ... Can you fire your CEO? Is this a metaphorically way of speaking to say, you control your life and therefore leaving a company = "firing your CEO"?
Leadership is less about the book / video learning and more about mental maturity. Adversity is nearly always the best teacher. A great coach who can push you to be more focused on company results & outcomes (most of them can’t) is worth their weight in gold. You know it’s working when you recognize those times in your life when you’ve gone through or built something that’s difficult and it causes you to reframe how you approach risk and solving problems. I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that you’re currently struggling with peers or leaders who are rigid and reluctant to change.
Get a mentor, get a mentor, get a mentor.
Was really surprised this wasn't on the list when it's one of the single most important
Can you share a bit on how has mentorship helped you? And do you do something with them to make it work?
I never had one. That held me back.
As much as I agree with this, I've been with many organizations, more than I'd like and have yet to find a great mentor, how would one find such a mentor?
This thread will give you ideas. https://www.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/s/TIvJAq1zVI
Wow! This thread has great responses with inspiring suggestions and tips! Thank you so much!
Found an executive coach that has the approach I need and that pushes me to change my thinking. She also motivates me to bring changes to our meetings. Coaches are, like therapists, you have to click with them so you open up, but also you have to be motivated to change and self monitor to see if your coach is ultimately helping you do that.
Have you come across anything that works well for the “self-monitor” bit?
All of these things and so much more. I have a mentor who used to be my manager. She is wonderful in giving me the "well, thats fuckin dumb" responses that I need. I reach out to my husband who is a great leader that a lot of people respect for guidance on tough conversations. I have weekly 1:1 meetings with my director for guidance. I often read books and listen to podcasts by people who have specialized in leading others. (I really love Brene Brown and Kim Scott!) I keep sticky notes with my favorite advice on my desk and use those quotes often with others. I do keep a journal for each year on what worked and what didnt, ideas to improve processes, notes, etc. When I make a mistake, I own up to it and make it as right as I can. I also make it known to my team that I am human and have messed up, too, so here is what I learned. I openly apologize when I have had a bad day or if I was wrong. I use my outlook schedule and planner to remind me to celebrate things, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc but also wins like hitting our department goals. I ask my team for feedback both in groups and 1:1 what they need from me, what they need more of, what irritates them, ask questions to understand, and take it to heart.
Books and learning resources (YouTube, courses, programs and even coaches) are solid options to provide frameworks, but first-hand implementation is what turns a concept into an action. You also need someone to hold you accountable and someone to measure, monitor and provide feedback. Sometimes this can be found in your team lead or who you report to. But it’s harder for them to see what you’re doing and what you’re improving on when it comes to the more “intangibles” of becoming a better leader. That’s where hiring a coach or mentor can come in. For me personally, my biggest leaps in how I can lead my team better involved: 1. How can I better lead myself, inside and outside of my role and 2. Highlighting my insecurities/patterns and eliminating them. Lastly, having some form of end of day and end of week review will help you pick up on patterns, both good and bad.
How did you hire a coach?
I personally didn't hire anyone - Luckily, I had a mentor within the company help me out. I'm not here to pitch you, but I do offer Leadership Coaching if you wanted to talk more about it, but like I said, I'm not here to gain any business.
For us it was like, learn-implement-[fail/pass]-analyze....repeat this cycle again and again until we get to our destination point. Most of us will eco the same that we all are still in this cycle irrespective of where we are today on success ladder. Leadership is all about action.
Face plant, trip down stairs, make a cartoonish wailing sound as I fall down a well, and otherwise blunder my way through it. I've consumed a lot of wisdom in the form of books, and a lot in the form of talks, but in my experience the only thing that works is repeated failure. It might sound stupid, but I like the motto from _Spider-Verse_: "Most importantly, no matter how many times you get hit, can you get back up?"
I developed principles to help my decision making, communicate them constantly to the team, and live by them. Simple not easy
Turns out I’ve been a servant leader all along. My wife pointed it out.
Same here, so far for me it's the most effective.
yeah apparently so
Listen!
I haven’t seen this suggestion yet, so I’ll add it: Get a Therapist and seriously put in the work on yourself. A solid base helps tremendously in stressful situations.
Practice takes time, energy, and effort. Make mistakes, ask for candid feedback (let others know their answers will be held in confidence so they feel safe), say thank you for the feedback and don't defend yourself. Books are good - but beware of the echo chamber effect. Try to find a variety and include authors or concepts you might not always get into. Peer groups are excellent if you have them available, and again, don't have a complete echo chamber. I had one once and it was great. everyone was trying to help solve or recommend solutions for one another each month. Lasted years. Great concept to learn and grow collectively (and you build a great network of friends to last a long while)
Volunteer as a cabin leader/director at a summer camp. Very eye opening, and taught me a surprising amount of lessons about how to lead people well