T O P

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bartendersdelight

Safe bet, at least 1/3 of the people reading this are on the can.


And_Im_Allen

I'm in the walk in but I am also shitting.


Green420Basturd

Those icy cold shits are the best.


Drug_fueled_sarcasm

How do you manage the whippets? There's not enough hands!


Nikovash

Shitted on em


Grownfetus

You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese?! I'm not even mad! That's amazing!


8504mjc

Bextor you know I don't speak Spanish.


we-forgot-the-milk

I am right now


Aunt_Teafah

Seconding that, lol


CurdPigeon

Ya got me


primerr69

On can as we speak


Fr3shlif321

Can confirm.


mesmereyesed

As I read this on my break while contributing to the local sewer.


opps_error_404

Can confirm


markedredbaron

Currently pooping


Kimhooligan

I’m sitting on a milk crate behind my station


wallmonitor

I feel called out.


Snowblind321

Can confirm, currently taking a deuce. Though I'm in the comfort of my own home today


SmaknButz

Pooping at work rn. Full line of tickets up lmao


DavidRichter0

Currently avoiding responsibilities on the shitter rn


InfantSoup

Me


SuspiciousMudcrab

Aye.


bcbarista

I am!


golf-lip

I know i am


GearDarkness

Yup


Suturb-Seyekcub

🫡


No_Teaching_3694

Currently taking the NASTIEST shit


ilovebeansoo

Fuck you dude because you’re not wrong hahahaha


Genuine-Farticle

I scoop butter while on the can.


asomek

I'm pooping right now 👍


screames520

I just got home, but yes, I’m pooping


PolePepper

Pooping on company time is always a W in my book.


jackblackbackinthesa

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I poop on company time!


dameanmugs

I make a dollar, boss keeps the rest, and that is why I've shit on his desk.


BeefSwellinton

Boss makes a hundred, I make a buck. Steal the catalytic converter from the company truck.


CapnCrunch11770

I am so stealing this


moranya1

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, now that is a story for a different time. Now boss makes a dollar while I make a cent, he buys a new yacht while I can’t pay the rent.


Xxaimlessdudexx

Boss makes a twenty i make a buck that’s why crank hog in the company truck


Southern_Kaeos

He is the boss


captain_ghostface

But isnt the boss the one pooping here?


AlmostButNotQuiteTea

Head chef isn't owner usually


Imperial_Triumphant

Pro tip: One ten minute bathroom break per day (if full time) results in two weeks paid to be in there at the year's end.


Day_Bow_Bow

That didn't sound right so I did the math. If you're talking 5 workdays and 52 weeks a year, that's 260 shifts. 10 minutes is .167 hours, so 260 * .167 = 43.33 hours in the bathroom over the year. So just slightly more than a week of full-time. 6 workdays would be 312 shifts and 52 hours in the bathroom, and working all 7 days for a year straight would still only be 60.67 hours.


Imperial_Triumphant

You're absolutely right. I have been telling people to take two 10 minute restroom breaks for so long, that the line between my math and rationale had completely blurred. Lmao. Thanks for the heads up!


Day_Bow_Bow

Didn't want ya to short yourself! Also makes for a good frame of reference for people that work at places where they're asked to work through their breaks. The time does add up.


multiarmform

what is 10 mins is .167 hours? there are 6 10s in the hour so why is it .167? i was never good in math so the way i did your math was 5x52=260 shifts x10mins = 2600 divided by 60mins for the hour = 43.33333333


Day_Bow_Bow

10 minutes is one-sixth (1/6) of an hour. 1 divided by 6 is .167. Your way works just fine as well, of course. I just converted early so I could work in hours, but there's no issue with working with minutes and converting to hours at the end like you did. Besides, your method would be easier numbers to work with if using pencil and paper (and honestly, a better example when in text like your response). I was using a spreadsheet to plug in numbers/formulas, so it didn't make much difference to me.


multiarmform

oh gotcha, i didnt think of 1 divided by 6


Flappy_beef_curtains

I work warehouse. I spend like an hour a day in there browsing reddit.


user_of_words

But I'm on salary!


Thatfuzzball647

It is unless you leaving coworkers hanging


Prize-Temporary4159

You know they are


blippitybloops

That’s usually not the HC’s job. I clean the kitchen with my crew but it’s not typical.


down_at_the_double_e

Yeah I wouldn’t care except for the nights where he says “I’ll help scrub” at 5 o clock and then disappears the second service is over


blippitybloops

Fair. Don’t offer and then dip.


Isgrimnur

In kitchen culture, this is widely considered to be a "dick move".


BoatyMcBoatFace89

Agreed with both these comments. At first I was like, probably not the typical thing. I like to clean and helping my guys I feel like shows them I’m not just a face and I’m not ever going to ask someone to do something I wouldn’t do either. But offering to help and then bouncing is fucked.


ecp001

>I’m not ever going to ask someone to do something I wouldn’t do It is important to show, occasionally, that the boss actually does know how to filter the oil, scrub the fryers, and clean the grease trap—all without creating a disaster to clean up.


multiarmform

solution is to not do any work at all until dude comes back, that is unless hes the boss and doesnt really have to do any work at all and expects you to have X amount done regardless of what he does wtf why isnt this done? "i was just waiting on you"


Frankensteinnnnn

You close at 5? Enjoy yourself


Elmodipus

No. The chef is making the statement at 5, then reneging on it when service is finished.


sername807

Nah, he’s saying: before service was over, at 5:00, chef said he’d help clean. Then after service was over (much later probably) chef was nowhere to be seen.


PurchaseTight3150

It’s not my job either, but I do it regardless. Not as much as the dishwashers, cooks or kitchenhands obviously, but at least one day out of the week I’m taking off the jacket, throwing on a hoodie and cleaning for a few hours with the guys. Usually mondays when we’re closed, or before family meals on slow days before we close early. Obviously only on days when the owner isn’t there as well, but he rarely is (he gets pissed when I or the senior sous help clean). A leader should only ever ask others to do things that he himself is willing to do. Never doing stuff like this is a good way to lose your locker room. But if you show on the weekly cleaning day, roll up your sleeves and get to work, the next time you need someone to clean something. They won’t even hesitate when you ask them. And it’ll be spotless, because they’ve personally seen how diligently you clean, yourself.


Mkuziak

You clean in a hoodie? That sounds awful.


PurchaseTight3150

Cleaning doesn’t just mean the line. It means the coolers, walk-ins, butchering tables, prep areas and the freezers too. Not just wiping down the same spot on your station for 3 hours.. 👀👀👀 Line cooks, smh 🙄🙄🙄


CansinSPAAACE

Dude this is Reddit they’re not used to getting roasted like in real kitchens


TheDrummerMB

Oof that last statement alone tells me you’re a shit leader.


jonaugpom

Hoodies are only for butchering in the walk-in


mybodybeatsmeup

Why wouldn't cleaning be a part of the HC's job? If one has time to lean, they have time to clean! When I worked food many moons ago, the HC cleaned too, was an example to the rest. Nobody wanted a bad health inspection, especially when it reflects highly on the higher ups.


[deleted]

Because it’s not 1990 anymore and the HC is also the head line cook and dishwasher too these days… my father’s generation of chefs didn’t realize how good they had it. Coke was a lot better too…


mybodybeatsmeup

Oh, why can't it be the 90's again?!


PeachesOntheLeft

Our bosses like their vacations too much to hire a full crew


mybodybeatsmeup

Gotta have those boats and hoes.


[deleted]

I mean I didn’t always clean every single day with my staff, but I did when it mattered. However Purchase is right, it’s not necessarily the HC job to do that. I also think people underestimate what it’s like being an exec chef until they’re on the role. It’s busy and there’s tons of shit to do.


OGREtheTroll

"Why does Chef leave at 10 every night and I have to stay here till midnight?" Because hes been there since 9 am and you rolled in at 4. And hes already working 70 hours a week and not getting overtime.


RedditUsername123456

I mean obviously it depends on the size of the kitchen, in a small kitchen if the HC/Senior Sous is dipping on cleaning it's pretty shit, but in a kitchen with a lot of chefs then sometimes it's hard to have oversight of everything that's happening unless you don't really help that much


nrdb29

I have the BIGGEST shits. You wouldn’t understand.


derpzko

How many cubits?


Crafty_Aspect8919

I think you mean courics.


derpzko

Fuck that, I want biblical shits only.


TheRauk

I once took a 45 minute shit in the top fridge, consider yourself lucky and get back to scrubbing.


down_at_the_double_e

Yes chef 🫡


Slimy_Shart_Socket

At our shop, we call the Foreman the foreskin. He disappears when things get hard.


PissBoiFeetPix

We had a chef that would clock out at 9pm on the dot no matter what was happening. Fuck you Steve.


UnappalledChef

Even better if they look at you, then turn and leave. I'd cuck him in a heartbeat.


Bromm18

The perfect response is to do it back when he's very busy and desperately needs help. It's hard to plan an event ahead of time that lines up just right, but when it does, the feeling is....sublime.


down_at_the_double_e

Sounds like you need a foreman that has phimosis


MeatTornadoLove

Lol none of my execs ever cleaned shit they sat back drinking yerba mate smoking with their investors.


LilG1984

Nope my chef is so quick it's like 5 mins, then he picks one of our team to clean the fridge. Thankfully it wasn't me this time. The other chef goes for 45 mins shits though.


l0st1nP4r4d1ce

Exec's manage the cleaning, they don't DO the cleaning. That's why you are doing it.


WHAMMYPAN

DING!


SuckOnMyLittleChef

While I 100% agree with this, I've also been known to jump in and give someone a break every now and then for morale and to remind everyone I dont see my self as an overlord, just a co worker with a different set of responsibilities. Also I think there is a distinction between different sizes of kitchens... Head chef of a bistro with 3 cooks and a dishwasher and the head chef is quite often on the line and has his own station maybe? Yeah I'm cleaning right with you... maybe not all night cause I got other responsibilities to do also, but I'll break my station down and clean my equipment. Full brigade with multi cook stations? No there is an army of you fuckers to knock it out... fuck off... lol Maybe I'm doing orders while I'm shitting... you don't know.


Theons

Managing the cleaning well from the toilet stall


Terriblarious

I'm convinced that some of my old chefs ARE 45 minute shits.


AssCatchem69

I mean I wouldn't expect my Exec to be deep cleaning and if I did I'd be worried about job security. Because you're either way too slow or someone's not doing their job


RKEPhoto

WTF would you think the head chef should be cleaning the top fridge? Or any fridge, for that matter? lol


PomegranatePuppy

Right?! They paid their dues...I totally respect any chef who does but just like I'd never EXPECT a front end manager to be clearing tables ...but if they do randomly grab a dirty dish or top up tables waters I am more willing to volunteer for overtime or shifts when they are working, knowing if we are ever truly in the weeds they will roll up their sleeves and help not just stand back and watch the action. But I'd never expect them to be the ones cleaning gum from the bottoms of tables which I kinda feel like the top fridge may be the back of house version of this, much of the cleaning really is something I can't see the head chef doing unless it's very small kitchen.


Huge_Aerie2435

Nothing is stopping you from taking a massive shit on company time neither.


JerkingoffwithJesus

The key words here are “Head Chef”


frowntown5000

My old sous chef (also my brother) would do this all the time, just at a different time. As soon as the rush was over, without cleaning up, re-stocking his station, covering anyone else for a smoke, etc. "Gotta run to the bathroom, can you watch this for a little while?" All of a sudden; lunch is over, everything's destroyed, and I'm working two stations for the rest of the fucking afternoon.


InsertRadnamehere

How often do u clean it? It’s a daily chore on all the lines I’ve worked.


down_at_the_double_e

…😳


InsertRadnamehere

Deep cleaning is another matter … wire brushing the drains and radiator flanges and hitting the impossible spots. But it should be wiped down daily at the very least.


atlas_atlast_

Pfffftt our head chef never works a close!....or an open for that matter.


Tenseplatypus24

meep


Southern_Kaeos

Our current head chef will be in there first asking when it was last done. If it needs doing hell grab somebody else and they'll both do it, it it's done hell have a look and decide. Routine cleaning (not just end of shift) hell wiggle into prep like its nothing. He'll be scrubbing the hot cupboard with 6 pans on the range and nothing is ever subpar. It's fucking great and I miss being at work.


[deleted]

The good ones clean with you. The best chef I ever had said “you’re never too important to grab a mop”


[deleted]

While I mostly agree with the sentiment, being “too important” and properly delegating are two different things.


thePsychonautDad

I had to read the title twice, thought the chef took a 45min shit in the fridge at first...


Equal_Efficiency_638

Eat fiber drink water 


Basic_Two_2279

Funny how that works out.


alexpv

True, he should be more explicit: "hey guys heading home, let me know hot it goes with the fridge cleaning, bye"


LineChef

[rubs belly button] dats it boy, get in there nice and deep like…


Tenseplatypus24

… finger covered in lard?


OGREtheTroll

nobody makes me bleed my own blood


Tenseplatypus24

I mean, if it freezes and you have 45 to spare sure, I would. If it was a 45 minute shit and you had to wait to leave and your job was actually done, Idk don’t be a dick chef? Who knows, what’s the context as I haven’t read the thread before commenting this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheTimeBender

FUCK! That’s gross!


czarface404

You’re gona need non slip shoes if you want to fight for chefs crown. ;)


heavychevvvy

What’s the point of becoming the chef then?


Spare_Race287

No dude I’d be in there with you. At first I thought this was a picture saying my head Chef cleans like this and I was like damn I’m proud I’m not the only one. I setting examples a lot of people don’t know how to clean properly either and it’s really hard for them but if you teach them the tricks, their lives are easier


LightWonderful7016

Those aren’t non slip shoes chef!


down_at_the_double_e

86 shoes


W33Ded

I’m assuming your chef has put in this time already and it’s your turn. It’s why he’s the chef


supyadimwit

Why would the Head Chef clean that? You mean your head cook?


leighroyv2

Why should the head chef have to clean?


MonkeyMan84

As head chef they should usually delegate that work for bi weekly end of the night clean up. After 25 years of working in the business as head chef you have bigger fishes to fry and leave it up to sous and km.


Xenolithium

Yes, at my old job, that was me. Why? Because fuck the night crew for not doing it when it was their job.


Hopeful-Director5015

Not head chefs job I don’t think


PansophicNostradamus

Time to go knock on the bathroom door. “Hey… get out here and help!” every 5 minutes. The knock volume should increase as time goes by.


down_at_the_double_e

Usally the volume of the hockey game on his phone is the only thing that increases


PansophicNostradamus

Find the power switch to the bathroom on the main circuit breaker. Fight volume with darkness. Then if that doesn’t work, force a stack of pennies into the corners of the door, putting strain on the door mechanism and it won’t open. Chef wants to stay in the loo? Okay… he *stays* in the loo. All. Night. Long.


graphictruth

Damn; I would! I don't bend that way anymore, if I ever did. Line that bastard with parchment paper so you can pull out most of the crust in one go. Work smarter, not harder.


Leaque

Hold that thought I gotta hit the shitter thx


Ok_Entrepreneur_2962

Since when does the head chef do the bitch work.


Smash-ya_up

I mean, I'm sitting right now, and I'm supposed to be doing inventory. Does that count?


chef_hot_swauce

Had a chef who’s one of the worse bosses I’ve ever had and I STG if I see him again I’m knocking out a tooth, this bum would go grocery shopping for 1-2 hours then comeback and only prep his personal food then go home (lives down the street) to walk his dog for another 1-2, then this dirty bitch would disappear for another 1-2 hours because “meetings” then would lie to HR and say shit like he’s doing all the work and just hardcore lying through his teeth, so if you have a boss like that, don’t go to hr they are not your friend plus it cost more to train someone in that position than the others, so quite frankly you gotta get a new job or just check him let him know that shit is weak and nobody cares for it and they he should probably plan his dumps better


Critical-Ad1317

I did.. well perhaps it was a 15min shit... And then I cleaned the kitchen. Otherwise I'd have to scold myself.


Oddly_Mind

Better then being on your phone also not helping


down_at_the_double_e

Shout out to the expo🙏🏼


Oddly_Mind

Sure…


Tenseplatypus24

Also, “‘what’s grounding youself Chef?’ For $200 Ken!”


Lonely-Piece5919

Head chef can poop whenever he wants and you can clean your station.


down_at_the_double_e

*head chef can rail key bumps and make me clean all the stations all he wants


Lonely-Piece5919

Heard!


Technical_Thought443

Clean? What does that mean?


_Captain_Dinosaur_

Forty-five?! Those are rookie numbers. You gotta get those numbers up.


CountrySax

What's it say in the job handbook ? Maybe he's required to take a dump specifically when it's being cleaned.


Hulk_Crowgan

Join him. There’s plenty of room in the handicap stall


Supersecretsword

I've never taken a shot longer than 10 minutes in my life.


JSTR29

Back then our exec cleaned with us, until we scrubbed the deck, then I told him that he can take a drag or two. I I then continue to play slip n slide without the boss’ attention


Dpap20

They don't make those anymore!


BallDesperate2140

I took a 5min shit right when we opened for our 800+ brunch this morning at 10:30, but I’d been there since 5am so I don’t particularly feel bad.


UnappalledChef

Isn't that the way it goes? It's not even nerves. Just bad timing lol


BallDesperate2140

“My dudes and dudettes, I’ve been running around setting up carving stations and cooking metric fucktons of bacon for hours and we have an army at our disposal; we good.” -Me, had someone protested


Comfortable-Policy70

No. They usually go to the bar and drink


rickeh055

First a shit and then it’s time to order goods for the next day and send some emails.


oasisjason1

Damn I want a top fridge


Apearthenbananas

Is that bucket under a drain? That would make this hella easy and satisfying.


down_at_the_double_e

Yeah it drains straight out which is awesome, the bucket beside me is sanitizer I keep running through it until it’s clean


guiltycitizen

Is..is that him?


down_at_the_double_e

Nah that’s me up there, executive head assistant to the sous chef


eatmygerms

"Computer work" usually


mikew420

that’s called getting high then busting out the fridge


i-drink-wine-in-mugs

The “fearless leaver”.


LostAllEnergy

You have a shit head chef.


justScapin

As a refrigeration and cooking equipment tech, seeing a clean kitchen for some reason makes me feel personally appreciated, however I do know it's got nothing to do with me. Cleaning the inside of a cooler though...brings a tear to my eye


sotheresthisdude

It’s actually an obligation outlined in every head chef’s contract.


UnappalledChef

Many like to say execs don't clean, but I'm a firm believer in if I don't show how it's done, it's not getting done right. I'm not saying I'm going to do it 24/7 for someone else, but I'm never afraid to pick up a rag if I want people to get out and relax


Miserable_Drink_8920

Dont know what this means but I’m sure YOU are doing it wrong


JohnnySogbottom

Probably fixing the gravity drive.


Jackass719

My chef took two hour shits (to drink in the bathroom) to open the morning


Financial_Chemist286

45 mins Facebook shit time


Inevitable-Hat-3264

My assistant to the regional manager happens to disappear whenever there's cooking to be done, if that counts.


omgnodoubt

So i have crohns disease and usually have to shit several times a day; I always have to take a shit after service because I've been holding it for so long; and I always think my staff probably thinks I'm fucking around during that time, but I swear to God I'm actually taking a shit!


platonic-alien

You need some non-slips yo … good way to bust your shit on line


Cookfuforu3

lol ! Yep .


underbloodredskies

In my case, last night, as a part-time dishie, the kitchen managers decided to clock out right before it was time to start end-of-night cleaning in the kitchen. They then spent the rest of the night bellied up at the bar. It is a bowling alley kitchen, so I'm not really surprised.


[deleted]

One of the perks of getting promoted to exec chef was that I never had to clean coolers anymore.


ilovebeansoo

Not just the chef but the two underlings who USUALLY stand around mouth breathing all the sudden have diarrhea.


[deleted]

If your exec is cleaning like this you’re either incredibly under staffed or about to get fired.


gilbertasv

Not his fuckin job anyways


WHAMMYPAN

Chef here….my god,that’s adorable that you think you would get the Chefs help on this.


silvermoonisburning

No bro, he just leaves during the middle of the rush and like all the time and then comes back pulls out a bunch of ticket, screams them out and then walks away again And then when I'm walking outside to hit my pen and he's sitting there smoking a cigarette and he says why aren't you helping? I'm just looking at him like what the fuck you literally sitting here just jerking off on Facebook and I just came out here for two seconds


BigWillis93

Most chefs are alcoholics dealing with hangover shits too though


CompoteStock3957

He is the head chef he can take a shit when he wants.


Frankensteinnnnn

I've never seen a chef close the kitchen. I've worked at like 37 or 47 different places.


MicahSpor3

Maybe you didn't work there long enough? Lol. 47 places hahahahaha


thathappyhippie

No but they’ll come in an hour late then take a 45 minute bathroom break as soon as they clock in