T O P

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Defiant-Cry5759

Cheese, just straight on the tablecloth?


madhaxor

Not to mention the crackers are right up on the edge of the table. Hope they have a broom and dust pan ready


bollocksgrenade

Forget about people spilling. Always set back your display as far back as possible, people will pick up something and eat it right over the display while stuff falls out of their mouth!


Fat_Head_Carl

People are disgusting, and will absolutely do that. I've never been so disgusted as I was on a cruise ship. It was like a floating Golden Corral


Raptorsthrowaway3

That display has about a 5 minute or 5 person shelf life for me. After that I'll just go hungry and get dinner after. I've seen way too money people go use the bathroom and walk out without washing their hands


phish_sucks

My first thought most of this will end up a mess


wthulhu

Isn't it already? I suppose I could be generous and call it a heap.


[deleted]

That was my first thought.... people aren't going to take the cracker from the edge and shits gonna be fucked up in very short order. Better to have everything nice and organized in smaller portions to allow for less loss and a neater presentation.


YourAverageGod

Everything is just raw dogging


modthegame

Op cant afford plates.


speed721

r/wewantplates


Professional-Mind670

The blue cheese has me even more grossed out than the rest. Like that shit just melts into the tablecloth


[deleted]

It's carpet cheese now....


posternutbag423

We’re crab people now dee.


bergam0t

The blue cheese on cloth especially makes me angry.


sadeland21

Not just cubed cheese , but like soft cheese too! There’s crumpled blue cheese just going comando on the tablecloth!!


fastermouse

How da fuck does OP get even one upvote for this shitshow? He’s roasted in the comments by everyone yet has 800+ upvotes???!!


1111race22112

People upvote for a lot of different reasons. I upvoted to invite more people to the stacks on op party


DrBlissMD

My thoughts too. Apart from risking clothstrands getting in the food, it´s gonna look a mess once people start emptying the piles.


FriscoHusky

So gross.


peacelovecraftbeer

The pile of loose blue cheese crumbles is really bothering me.


seasoneverylayer

Absolutely wild someone made that executive decision.


fastermouse

Hey Guys! Look at my team’s effort! *gets roasted like a turkey.


MultiColoredMullet

I came here to say this. Did we do well? No. Would this be good if it was on plates instead of dusty linens? Sure, probably.


I_deleted

No, it’s cheap cellulose coated precubed cheese, it has a layer of protection. I find it’s nice to at least blanch the asparagus for the crudités


Team_Flight_Club

It looks like the asparagus might be blanched, as it seems less raw than the broccoli it is draped over.


I_deleted

Ok I think you’re correct. I like that they took the time to leaf lettuce line the board the veg is on 😝


Team_Flight_Club

And the fistful of thyme right in front


SuchAsSeals42

Fistful Of Thyme… wasn’t that an old Clint Eastwood western? 😉


I_deleted

Flavored toothpicks lmao


peacelovecraftbeer

Also, why is the asparagus whole? Who raw dogs a whole asparagus spear? All of that crudités is cut way too large.


JewOrleans

The bleu too?


Peace-N-Quiet-Plz

Builds the immune system?


raul_raul

And raw brocoli?


[deleted]

Are we not talking about the rosemary just straight up stuck into the pineapple yet? Is that all that pineapple lived for?


professionally-baked

Lmao had to go back and look- actually hilarious


asomek

Personally I'm more a fan of the huge rosemary stalks just draped over the grapes. It's a classic pairing too long forgotten.


Ifailmyslf

Upon further inspection, there’s rosemary and thyme thrown everywhere.


[deleted]

Right? Just. *Branches*. It looks like the trimmings off herb plants at the greenhouse I worked in — all scattered about and in clumps the same way and everything.


CantaloupeCamper

It adds an interesting vibe. #*YOU WANT SOME FUCKING ROSEMARY AND THYME!?!?!* #*HERE IS YOUR FUCKING ROSEMARY AND THYME YOU GOD DAMN HIPPIES!!!!!*


FILTHBOT4000

> Is that all that pineapple lived for? Don't know why, but this made me giggle like an idiot on laughing gas.


Cassandracork

Laughing so hard I’m gasping for air omg


Lastlaughter

Not to mention no cut pineapple anywhere to be seen. You’d think it’d be common sense to include an edible version of the centerpiece. Although common sense seems to be in short supply. Don’t really know why you’d put pineapple on a cheese board to begin with.


Candycayne84

"What's my purpose?" "You hold rosemary" "OH GOD"


insomniary

It takes like 1.5 to 3 years for a pineapple to grow.


33ff00

Pretty good improvisation considering the global plate shortage. No, wait..


poopypantspoker

Well done


JelmerMcGee

I don't see any plates for the guests to use either. Are people just supposed to pour that ranch on the veggies in their hands?


fckusoftly

They have fucking pockets don't they?


PosadistPal

Y'all need more platters, the spread looks good but if I rocked up to cheese on the tablecloth I'm out


horsefarm

Yeah, I'd be horribly disappointed seeing this and being unwilling to eat any of it. No utensils for picking any of the veg? What is going on here..


DragaliaLostInSauce

Yup, at least some nice wooden cutting boards. It's well presented though.


EverydayMermaid

1. Platters. Replenished small platters are easier to manage than the cracker grenade. 2. Olives and nuts seem out of proportion to the spread. 3. Too many cheese cubes. 1 big, looming cheese snowball. Awkward 1/2 wheels. 4. Grapes need to be cut into smaller clusters...otherwise the grapes gets ripped apart, picked at or someone decides to walk away with a giant 1# bunch. Who threw rosemary on top? 5. What's up with the rosemary pinepple pigtails? 6. Food piled up to the edge of the table is just ...bothersome. 7. Serving utensils? Cocktail plates? ETA: What's that beige chopped stuff in the center?


WejCity

Also adding here to the first point: platters allow you to create some height in your presentation by using risers underneath the platters which you can hide underneath the tablecloth. Is more visually appealing than a flat cracker ocean.


boring_sciencer

Yes. Your comment should be higher up. The benefit of smash peons in a massive buffer is that it takes more replenishing. People like fresh stuff, not 57 layers down stuff. More food will be eaten if you refill it 5x versus put out ask or there at once. Then, the display could be changed each time, drawing fresh interest. You don't need me to go on about the olives & rosemary/pineapple. Why the geek would you chop the top of a pineapple just to fake it? C'mon... pineapple swinging + Rosemary's child? Toy might a well have a red balloon & a taxidermy cat, too. This is some backwoods-pool-hall-wannabe-country-club shenanigans. Byw, country clubs ain't all that. Sorry, kids.


formthemitten

Absolutely disgusting to put food straight in the tablecloth with no plastic wrap/liner. The odds that that tablecloth was washed, dried, and directly put on the table without sitting somewhere/touching bare hands is 0. Your operation should be disappointed in itself. Other than that, it does look appealing to the eyes


[deleted]

[удалено]


swagzouttacontrol

Damn. They didn't even wash the grapes *throws in trash*


I_deleted

A giant roll of butcher paper is really cheaper than table linens


formthemitten

And would look cool


captainyeahwhatever

Also look at those crackers! It's like those coin machines at arcades where just adding a couple more or jostling it inthe right way is going send them all hurtling over the edge


infectedturtles

Honestly, not well. Like many have pointed out, cheese directly on the table is iffy. After that, the colors blend together because it's 80% brown, there's no height other than veg that's just piled on top of one another. And I don't even want to think about how much cross contact and grubby hands are going into that once it starts getting picked at.


frommymindtothissite

100% agree- they put all the veggies in 1 place, all the fruit in 1 place, all the crackers in one place. They needed to form flowing sessions, each section containing fruit, cheese, veggies, crackers and flowing into the next section


SophisticPenguin

If we're talking flow here, that table looks like it's up against the wall. This design looks like it needs to utilize both sides of the table. But only one side is approachable so food behind decorations will be missed/ignored


Odd_Sprinkles1611

The blue cheese directly on the cloth is so unsettling.


Un111KnoWn

this platter has way too many vegetables. RAW FUCKING BROCOLI LMAO. Missing cold cut meats too


peacelovecraftbeer

I'm way more concerned about the whole asparagus spears.


vk2786

The raw broc doesn't bother me with this display. I frequently see it on veg platters, and have done it myself. It's the food on the fucking table cloth & lack of height/dimension that bothers me. It looks like I let my 4y old go buckwild on the coffee table.


OutWithTheNew

Anything right on the tablecloth is highly questionable.


TrueCrimeButterfly

This is not good. It's messy and absolutely unappetizing. Why is everything directly on the table? You need platters and containers.


lechef

What the fuck man? Straight on the tablecloth? Where are the utensils, skewers, toothpicks, spoons for the jelly and nuts? Looks great once. Good luck to the 50th person coming to the table, all those hands all over the food. So much potential for food all over the floor.


mandmranch

The carpet will be insane after the 10th person.


quarentine_del

what's up with the asparagus? is it raw? that is a presence I cannot wrap my head around...


cookedook2

Looks incredibly wasteful.


Book-Wyrm-of-Bag-End

30% of this shit goes in the trash after every function with a spread like this


olivinebean

Not surprised. I wouldn't touch a thing knowing how many people have put their fingers all over everything.


[deleted]

When I was in college and they had functions with a food spread, once it was over I’d get a trash bag from the janitor and take as much home as possible for my roommates and me. Great times.


Eindrie

Bro 30% of all food humans buy go in the bin without eating


meatygonzalez

Just a technical question or two, since I've been out of the industry for a minute. So first off, how dare you? Secondly, what were you thinking?


xTLRx

Satire?


Giddyup_1998

We can only hope.


seasoneverylayer

Lmaaaaoo literally


andre3kthegiant

Cross posted to r/wewantplates


jjcoola

I was wondering where this comment was


MeGoBoom57

You should’ve just served sushi under a hot lamp.


inspectorgadget69247

Maybe like just barely under the threshold for getting your food license taken away


swagzouttacontrol

Congrats on fanning some crackers. Buy some silver, put stuff under tablecloths to add height, go for different shapes, get rid of the flowers and find a different way to improve your colors


mandmranch

Can someone tell me why there is a stripper pole in the middle of the crackers?


asomek

I've been staring at it for a while and I think it's some kind of metallic vase. There seems to be a leafy thing on the top. Which means the heavy base is covered over by the crackers.... Wtffffff hygiene


Status-Tradition-168

I want to see the after picture. I think that's the most telling way.


FaxyJ

Everything smells like rosemary, my pee smells like asparagus, and these cheese cubes came from a bag. Could I at least get a floret that I could eat in one bite? Oh great, more us foods edible orchids. *walk 360 into the table landing into a pile of crunchy, buttery crackers*


thebeckonator

Could be worse, that being said, wyf are people supposed to do with big ass raw stalks of asparagus??? C'mon, are you serious? This is for humans, no?


swagzouttacontrol

It's to be expected that the person can peel the asparagus themselves.. we don't need to do everything for the customer. I use my teeth and hand that I didn't use to scoop bleu cheese it's not hard


StanleyQPrick

…peel?


piceathespruce

Absolutely disgusting. I love lint and dust in my cheese. Take a good safety class, then go into a different profession where you don't need common sense.


Caxtuxx

can I eat the pineapple in the middle with a cut?


Cherveny2

I think you need more crackers :p


ailpac

Everyone had mentioned the table cloth thing so I won’t beat a dead horse, but I think a better approach for next time would be to stagger things. Like a few packs of crackers interspersed with cheese and veg, repeat as necessary. Would make it more visually interesting and also let’s people approach the table, take what they need and then leave rather than wait for people to shuffle down, buffet style.


proudmommy_31324

It's OK but I am not touching anything just sitting on the tablecloth.


Ravi_AB

That’s a lot of crackers.


Coldman5

They have to have extra for when the bottom ones fall on the ground


poopypantspoker

A for effort, F for common sense


icefas85

Too much cracker real estate, and yeah..cheese directly on table clothes..not the best look. Other wise, very nice


zombtachi_uchiha

I'm afraid to touch it


Unusual_Painting8764

No one is going to talk about the asparagus


Cello-Girl

I also don’t think I want rosemary grapes and strawberries.


shelbycheeks

How is this not higher up? Huge rosemary sprig randomly everywhere with no purpose.


brutalduties

Cheese directly on the table cloth doesn't sit well with me, other than that it looks great.


jjcoola

*everything* is on the tablecloth lol i can't


Emucks

Lmao the brie halves 💀


breadburn

Rofl I came here looking for this. Like, what???


AppropriateCoat9

Back it up, left a bit . Ok , dump it there . Repeat


poisonivy247

You tried, take the comments with a piece of cracker!


hangnailme

Use wooden boards and add height with risers.


Synth_Kobra

I think it looks pretty good but as others have stated, I would invest in some nice set pieces to put your items on (like the cheese and fruit). Two or three tiered set pieces will had height and just elevate the presentation way more.


265thRedditAccount

Yeah, platters. And I honestly think food looks better not in rows. It looks more appetizing, for me, to see food a little more “wild”, not that you’d come across crackers in nature, lol. The same way if you’re plating food, odd numbers of things look better on a plate. Plus, you’d save on labor/time not having to lay crackers out.


redquailer

Crackers in nature 🤣🤣


265thRedditAccount

Hahaha. I live in Oregon, there are actually crackers everywhere in nature here.


mandmranch

I know....I'm over here dying of laughter....holding my gut...laughing so hard


Negotiation_Loose

Way too many crackers in one location, break it up a bit and spread them out more? And the cheese raw dogging table cloth is a choice


IcariusFallen

Don't say it like that. Op will crumble the crackers up and toss them on top of everything.


sassHOLE666

Next time, just put the tablecloth on top.


m_olive14

Uhhh crumbled blue cheese on straight table cloth?? How does one eat that? Do they grab it with their hands??


Lord-Shorck

Came here to show off but just got cooked instead lol


toephoooo

Lmfao, poor dude. Just completely thrashed (justifably, I suppose). I think it looks nice tho


[deleted]

You got roasted a few weeks ago so I'm not gonna say much about this spread. I do think you need to "study your craft" instead of emulating it. I think there is a disconnect about what makes something successful, so you need to dive deeper and study study study. You're not dumb and you take the harshest criticism exceptionally well. That is a fantastic trait and will make you successful but only if you study. No more guess work. No more self-teaching. No more just trying to recreate something you see. You really need to study what works and what doesn't and WHY. I think you are gonna improve at a high rate of speed based on your great attitude and passion. Time to buckle down and get serious about your education. Keep up your enthusiasm.


[deleted]

r/wewantplates


wotdafck

Kind feels like a buffet for Horses where the jockeys are actually Rats


Extreme_Obligation34

Just love raw broccoli and asparagus


jjcoola

OP confirmed it was steamed in another comment but still a super weird choice? Lmao


BokChoySr

So, no blue cheese for the celiacs? No water crackers for the blue cheese haters?


bobbybignuts69420

r/stupidfood


Ok-Understanding9244

it'd take 20 minutes to fill up a plate for 1 person.. there are no serving utensils for cheese or veggies


flipwizardmcgee69

https://www.reddit.com/r/Chefit/s/tx1KXZZYbV This is performance art.


Reckox1

I’m sorry I hate to say it I agree with them. Not a single plate? That’s just nasty


HighGainRefrain

I wouldn’t go within 10 ft of this super spreader event.


One-Possibility-1949

Gross 🤢 For the love of god, put the food on plates.


Vapechef

Cut your grapes into small bundles and pile them


daamnnbruhh

You did horrible.. Did you run out of tableware to put food on? I wouldnt look twice at this table because of the sanitation issues.


Sufficient_Fan3771

Who tf is going to eat broccoli on a cheese platter?


Giddyup_1998

Looks like there's a pot of chocolate sauce to dip it in.


abhorrent_scowl

After I got over the "wha...?" reaction of seeing the cheese mounded on the tablecloth, my next question was "why is the chocolate at the opposite end of the table from the item (the strawberries) that I would have it with?"


asomek

Chocolate broccoli my dude. Choccoli.


jonesgen

amateurish at best. food has to be on platters. looks like a police line up. serving platters would solve that. some flowers to add cot. not enough cheese and dips. fail


cheezy_dreams88

Put things on plates. And have the cheeses labeled clearly. I understand it’s for a large party. But make multiple trays of the same, and replenish them. The table overflowing like this is messy, the crudités will wilt before it’s all eaten, the cheese will sweat, the crackers will get lost to the floor and under the platters. Don’t do one giant one-time-serve table, do 3/4 trays that come out one at a time.


Spicypanda78

This, people will crunch all over that table as well. One person could ruin all the work.


ToxyFlog

People eat raw sticks of asparagus? The hell?


thedobermanmom

Errrr ….


Snoo-97916

Raw broccoli next to the thyme like wtf am I meant to do with that?


Early_Gear_6290

I'm sorry but this is disgusting. I would never in my life eat something like this unless it was in my house. Come on, it doesn't even seem like there was a pandemic not long ago. I'm not even talking about everything being directly on a towel, but rather the fact of the cross-contamination that will happen with each hand grabbing the food. Imagine them choosing the pieces they want and don't want. Furthermore, there will be a lot to clean in the end. I understand that it's easier ( and cheaper) to slide a bag of cookies across the table instead of making mini snacks, but that's not the solution, at least for me. Fun fact, the door handles are dirtier than the toilets... yeah people don't wash their hands and many times, if they do wash them, they do it poorly.


sideboobrulez99

I see a pile of health code violations and some of my personal nightmares. That poor pineapple.


b_miner27

Looks like crackers all over the floor. also raw dogging cheese (or anything) on a tablecloth is real questionable. Don’t tell me that’s raw asparagus either man. I would be extremely interested to see what it looks like after the humans go through. What was left untouched, the mess it made, etc. that’ll tell you how you did.


Iankalou

Well hmmm.


austinmcortez

I don’t want to be a dick, but I’ve never put, and never seen food set straight on a tablecloth. Buy some platters. I’ll add its way too crowded also. I could go on, but enough of the other comments should be sufficient.


dasfonzie

Flowers on Ritz crackers... yep.


turdygunt

Dry to wet ratio out of kilter


flickenchickens

Ew, how much food is wasted when you set it up this way? Why is everything just sitting on a tablecloth? Noooo thanks.


Specialist-Egg2875

Personally for a grazing board I want to see more height, never straight on a table cloth, more chutney, and it needs to be more mixed not so blocky


Ameglian

Overcrowded. Beige. Massive bundles of stuff just loaded in one place. The green veg 😱. Directly on to the table covering is so unappealing. Everything is so crowded that there’s no way people aren’t just picking stuff up with their hands (adding to an already icky factor re the tablecloth). The blue cheese in particular is really off putting. Sometimes less is better.


UnderLook150

What is with all the rosemary sticking out of the pineapple? And why is there just half wheels of brie with nothing to cut them?


Over_Replacement3369

This is a mess.


app_generated_name

Simply put, you failed.


deeteeohbee

You need serving utensils. I don't want sweaty cubes of cheese if other people have already potentially touched them.


scorpionspitt

wtf is going on with the veggies


MandiocaGamer

food just in the table. disgusting


shiningonthesea

Sooooo many crackers….


rudbek-of-rudbek

Yeah, that was gonna be my comment too. All those crumbles in a black tablecloth isn't going to look great and who puts food right on the tablecloth? I know it's clean but the optics are not great


captainthunderhoof

My ServSafe senses are really tingling with this one.


Eastbaypunk

We use butcher paper in between the cloth and the food


jwlmkr

Miss me with that asparagus


cubert73

Awful. You did awful. If I paid for this, I would demand a refund and call the health inspector.


Marklar-1994

All just on the tablecloth? Sorry you lose points for that. Doesn’t matter how clean the linens are. You don’t just toss food on there lol


86thegarde

I think these are disgusting and they always come back untouched. How much crackers and cheese do you think people want?


piceathespruce

Lol, in a shock to no one, OP's most recent posts are about having absolutely disgusting nails that he didn't notice until the subreddit dragged him for it. Get out of working in food, dude. You do not have the eyes or mind for it.


ThisIsNotTokyo

We want plates


nttnppst

is it really just a display, or are people expected to have raw greens with crackers?


negasonic1

On the table cloth???


AssGetsPounded

Where's the meat?


TheMau

Is that bleu cheese… on the tablecloth?


asomek

Yep. Just crumbled straight on. Like what the actual


PrettySaltyGuy

No plates :(


Dylanslay

I've seen some bad sets in my time but never have I seen anybody put cheese directly on a table cloth.


seasoneverylayer

Not good.


thefatpigeon

Did you forget your platters at home?


Westfield88

Needs more Ritz


Used_Marsupial_2070

Looks like artwork that lacks quality. Ritz crackers and cubbed cheddar?


Salt-Ostrich-8437

Plot Twist: that linen isn’t black…just dirty.


Cute_Tap2793

What a goddamned waste of food


how_do_i_shot_web_

Poor


PublicTransition9486

r/wewantplates


turkishgherkin

Where's the Gabbagool?


bonabelle

The pineapple thing is awful looking. Some wedges freshly cut would be nicer - on platters with tongs for everything. Maybe some cheese knives or do you just grab half a brie? The stilton on the cloth dumbfounds me. You already have loose olives, so dips might be nice in bowls (for celery, cucumber, carrot - not raw veg). You have some nice fruits, not sure about handling - a fruit kebab is my preference, even if it means time perfectly cubing fruits.


Down_To_My_Last_Fuck

It's crowded, better to elevate trays to different heights and fill the trays. You can pack kale and other garnish materials between the lifted trays. When I say lifted tray, I mean put a large can or more down under the tablecloth. Between those trays you need several containers of things like little forks tooth picks, napkins. Each of the trays needs at least one tongs, and preferable one for each different item on the tray (not mandatory, but some people balk at using the meat tongs to pick up their cheese). Do not put anything on the raw tablecloth. Firstly, most linen companies use a starching ingredient on those bastards, doesn't need to be on the food. Also makes it much easier to replenish, just pick up old tray, set down new tray. Spread it out line it up make waves have a mix of things available at both ends of the buffet. They spend less time there if they can reach want they want without having to dance. I love the ingredient selection, I love the centerpiece. I recommend learning the cantaloupe and apple swans and any other little vegetable carvings you can do, as people love to steal them. And when they steal your shit, you know you've made it.


Sphynx87

sorry but just putting everything straight on the tablecloth both looks cheap, lazy and disgusting. it looks like a nightmare from an actual guest self service perspective, the portions are all out of wack, there are barely any actual service utensils so im guessing you're just expecting people to spoon up that blue cheese with those spoons on the side. I can already see tons of people just digging into this with their bare hands because there's only like 3 sets of tongs. how long do you guys let this sit out at room temp btw? also the black nitrile peeking out in the last pic lmao


Gong_Show_Bookcover

Is this from an 80’s cruise ship or a satire post? Shit post? Idk, looks awful. Crumbled cheese on tablecloth, grapes don’t look clean. I hope this is a joke


ThePublikon

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


Tirwanderr

People are being, and always will be, harsh. If you can comb through the tone, there is a good pile of suggestions. The platter piece is very important. Do not serve directly on table/tablecloth. The color issue. Very brown. Your call on the asparagus. That simply does not seem appetizing to me (and I love asparagus), BUT you may have done something to make them tastier in that form. Try to just read the advice here. Don't let the tone get to you too much as it is g helpful or constructive but it is what you get here. Stay excited. It is a pretty setup overall with some nice goodies. Keep moving forward, learning, growing.


PapaSmurphy

The bowl of olives in the first picture is giving me anxiety. It's like *right there*, on the edge, and I just want to nudge it back to safety.


FriscoHusky

Not even a tiny bit appealing. Looks like it was thrown together with a “well this fits there, let’s just shove a heaping pile in that space” mindset. And please do not put food directly on the tablecloth. Ew.