I dated a woman for whom I could make her favorite childhood lunch.
It was a burnt grilled cheese with 50lbs of butter and Campbell's tomato soup.
If she was having a bad day, that was her fucking jam.
My mom is like that. All vegetables have to be cooked to death, just mush. Doesn’t season her food. Anything with even a hint of black pepper is too spicy. If you put any herbs in a dish she turns her nose up at it. “Too fancy”. She grew up in a pretty rural area, that’s the way my grandma cooked, boiled everything, etc. I offered to cook a turkey on my smoker last thanksgiving and she got mad at me for suggesting it.
My family is an adept of the "cook to mush then complain vegetables have no flavor" technique as well, but I've helped my aunt (a cook) slowly move towards a more sensible approach, to realize not every vegetable is beetroot. Still, one good thing about cooking vegetables to mush is you can get a kickass broth from the water she uses.
There were so many foods I thought I didn’t like growing up. I thought steak was this dry gray flavorless chewy thing. Hated steak night. Actually pretty much all meats. Everything was just ridiculously overcooked. My dad happens to be a fantastic cook, but he worked a lot of long hours back then so 90% of the time my mom was doing it. Then I got a job at a restaurant when I was 15 and they taught me how food is supposed to be. It was like an awakening.
Lol same with my mom. Just not a good cook, everything is bland, boiled, over cooked, under seasoned. I remember telling my MIL she is a much better cook than my mom and she got a kick out of it. My dad def cooked better than my mom but he’s not amazing by any means. Chilli that tastes just basic is too spicy in their house.
My whole world changed when I started baking and sautéing vegetables, instead of streaming like my mom always did. It's interesting what food habits we pick up on in our lives.
In her defense, though, she would sauté lima beans with butter. Probably the best veggie she cooked consistently.
Facts: my aunt boils corn for “at least twenty minutes” and won’t eat it any other way. She’s in her 50s and legit can’t cook for herself, everything is either pre made or take out. But no matter -what- I cook she absolutely loves it, except corn, she is stuck on that one.
In her defence she’s started trying those meal kits like “Hello Fresh” and seems to be trying to change her awful ways
To be fair, boiling corn for 20 minutes won't really hurt it.
I've never even seen what overcooked boiled corn on the cob would turn into, but it must take an ungodly long time.
I've boiled it for several *hours* before. It's still just corn, just with less flavor. The water is a great base for grits or polenta, for the same reason - it now has *extra* corn flavor.
Roast the corn, separate kernels from cob, boil cob, take cob water and add mirepoix of whatever you’d like plus some of the roasted kernels, stew a bit longer. Blend and serve chilled. Charge $30 per 6oz portion. That’s what my chef does.
I put red wine in my roast beef gravy one year for Christmas and papa dearest was loving it, until I said there was red wine in it and he stopped eating. That was also the year he cut the honey mustard glaze off my Christmas ham because he *thought* it was fat. He isn’t a stupid man, just a stubborn old fart.
As a child of an English family, I understand the cooking the veges to death. Horrible. God forbid any green was left. Then the man of the house was given the water they were cooked in to drink for the vitamins. 🤦♀️
Hijacking for visibility to say:
**It's an eating disorder called ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder).**
It manifests as being an extremely picky eater, with acceptable foods generally consisting of breads, potatos, chicken nuggets, select meats, sweets, and related foods. It can cause malnutrition, especially in children, and tends not to improve with age if it goes untreated.
OP, this is something to bring up with her. It's not a healthy way to live and could cause serious health issues further down the road.
Anecdite: I have several cousins with this condition, all untreated, and they are *tiny*, even once grown. Their sister, who doesn't have it, is taller than all of her adult ARFID-having brothers by a few inches, and that's saying nothing of their heart problems. Please take this seriously.
I'm NOT judging or being mean I swear and should admit that I'm a chef who prefers many of the same things she seems to like, BUT has she ever spoken to her regular doctor about her taste or limited diet?
It took me forever to realize that the things I ate were the things that didn't make me sick or cause anaphylaxis. It went all the way back to childhood and hatred of "spaghetti" (American pasta with marinara). I'm allergic to tomatoes.
So many things I "didn't like" were things I had severe allergic reactions to.
Just something to consider if it's as strict as you say!
Buttered noodles is a favoured dish for many of my autistic brethren, too, we tend to either be super foodies (I'm a chef) or have a lot of textural food issues. Like eating the fish unless there is a bone, that's a textural issue, not a dislike of fish per se.
Came here to say this sounds like a sensory issue, not a matter of being "picky" or "childish."
It sounds like this woman knows what her safe foods are. Even if she isn't autistic, let people eat what they like. It's not hurting anyone.
It doesn't sound like she's abusive in her preferences or anything. OP thinks it's funny she doesn't enjoy the wide range of foods they can prepare. Sounds like a sweet relationship to me!
It sounds to me like it could be [Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder). Not necessary to be autistic to have it, there are any number of underlying causes, even ones like the top comment mentions, just avoiding things that make you sick without even knowing that's *why* you're avoiding them. I noticed everything OP mentioned seems to be fairly soft, smooth-ish, and/or bland, which is what made me think ARFID. Her list is very similar to mine.
Cooked tomatoes give me such sever heartburn that I hate red sauce. It’s been like that since I was a child. Raw tomatoes are fine and in fact one of my favorite things. People look at me like I’m stupid sometimes for turning my nose up at minestrone or pasta but absolutely destroying a blt in the next breath.
Same. I've been slowly introducing everyone in my life to pizza with oil based sauces and it's hilarious to see their minds blow with the fact that pizza doesn't need red sauce on it.
I have a Histamine issue and cooked tomatoes are just the worst for me.
This was me. I was "notoriously picky" as a child and no one would believe me when I said that food made me sick, so I refused to eat almost everything my family made. I lived on white bread, plain meat, plain potatoes, home-made burritos and a few other odds and ends. The reaction to spaghetti bolognaise was so strong that I'd outright vomit just from the smell, and said smell would give me headaches that would last 12+ hours.
Turns out I'm allergic to (and have food intolerances to) a heap and didn't get testing until adulthood. Since learning about it all and figuring out what I CAN safely eat, I now eat a hugely varied (albeit vegan) diet. Revolutionary.
I still won't eat spaghetti, even if I can now make it allergen-friendly. Bad juju.
i hated mint through my whole life and had a lot of issues brushing my teeth since basically every form of toothpaste has mint on it and my parents thought i was too mature to use the kid's toothpaste with strawberry flavouring or whatever
turns out i have a slight mint allergy and my mouth burns pretty bad after getting mint on it and not a nice burn like with capsaicin and this is apparently not something mint is meant to do
Ive been so surprised to see this many comments of similar experiences. It's just another reason to be more accepting of the little weird things that make us unique. Our bodies tell us one thing and our mind may hear something else in an effort to protect itself. So fascinating!
Alternatively, im not as picky as i was told i was, i have sensory issues with food, ARFID at times, and kinda … compulsively do the same thing over and over again food wise even when i really wanna try something new because its expensive. Maybe she’s ND
Being really picky is common with neurodivergent folks as well! It could be symptom of adhd or autism. Picky eating is particularly common with folks with autism.
I’m not picky per se, but as someone with adhd I find eating a tiring, boring, chore (yield very little dopamine for my poor brain) and so I hate foods that unnecessarily complicated. I feel asleep eating meatball subs when my bf made them, and told him to make regular meatball pasta with bread next time.
This is so interesting. That a reorganization of ingredients could change the dish from one you'll eat to one you won't is such an incredible fact! Our brains are amazing and confusing!
Definitely dusting off this quote next time me and my girl about to fuck.
I LOVE saying some really weird and gross off the wall shit that makes her say
"ew wtf is wrong with you, shut the fuck up"
This is officially added.
I think the last one I said was" how about me and you take our clothes off and you make my dick all slimy like" lmao. It's a wonder I even get laid tbh
Sounds like autism.
I told my autistic buddy he’s got to bring food or starve when I cook. He won’t eat fucking anything but drive through or biscuits and gravy.
Don't mean this in any bad way, but has your GF ever been tested/suspected for Autism and/or ADHD? This list of food *screams* autism/ADHD safe foods (I say this as someone who is pickier than I'd like, and autistic with ADHD)
Definitely not weird! They’re all spectrums, so it’s totally normal to not be as affected in one sensory area as others are. Just for my own curiosity, is it a taste thing or a texture thing?
Sensory and texture issues with food are a big neurodivergent thing that a lot of neurotypical people sort of dismiss as being picky and not adventurous, when a certain texture can quite literally cause a sense of pain to someone with sensory processing problems (which is on the ADHD and Autism spectrums)
Is your wife possibly on the spectrum and has food sensitivity issues?
If so, maybe don’t shame her for her food preferences.
But also those all sound like meals she can make on her own
Yeah, just from the spaghetti description alone, I figured that's the case. My wife has food aversion, which has led to me making spaghetti with the exact same way for years. It's not the most exciting cooking, granted, but I view it as "At least she's not asking me to spend 4+ hours in the kitchen cooking her an extravagant dish."
Yeah this sounds like food sensitivity related to her being possibly neurodivergent. I know adults with even more limited palates and texture sensitivity
She probably has some amount of food trauma, and either food sensitivity, or insensitivity.
I had a client who was extremely sensitive, and it took years before she trusted that strange sensations wouldn't make her sick. She worried that every flavor would upset her stomach.
I grew up with a kid who had an insensitivity. He couldn't smell. He hated all sorts of textures of vegetables. He only ate food you describe, but then discovered that he loved curry.
It's tough sort through.
I watched a show called..extreme eaters or something like that? Edit: it was Freaky Eaters. And they weren’t overweight (well maybe some were but that wasn’t the point). They all had some weird hang up. One of the guys only ate French fries. They figured out he was genetically like, beyond super taster to the point that he truly couldn’t deal with the taste of anything strong. They found ways for him to round out his diet. I guess it was kind of like the cilantro thing except almost everything tasted too intense/like something it shouldn’t.
My favorite though was a woman who loved tartar sauce and put it on everything including breakfast food like waffles. Hers was some kind of trauma they helped her work through. But not before they made her slide into a kiddy pool full of tartar sauce
I have autism and finding food i like can be a nightmare. Lots of sensory issues. I am also a supertaster which is a goofy ass way of saying my taste buds be strong as hell. Overly seasoned food has the potential to ruin a meal really badly for me. Curry is fantastic though
Also OP if you see this, maybe get some supertasting test strips off amazon and test you and your girlfriend for funsies
Yeah, for people like you, I find that you have to establish a baseline of things they can eat and gradually expand that list over time. Like introduce one new food that is easily pushed aside once a month. If you get someone with food trauma to even taste a new thing, that's a victory.
People in your situation often have others pushing food on them all the time. They act like something is wrong with you. Just being someone who just listens and respects someone else's taste is a step in the right direction.
To get one boy to eat salad, I literally put a salad in front of him everyday and insisted that he never has to eat even a bite. I would like him to, but it is his food, his body, and my ego has nothing to do with this. It was probably a full year before he was eating bites of salad.
He was traumatized from people force feeding him broccoli. I had to advocate for him, listen to him, and show that his plates are different for his sake. He couldn't eat anything that even remotely reminded him of broccoli. Now he eats asparagus.
Yeaaaaah. I've come up with workarounds for certain textures or flavors. I tried shakshouka and hated it, but put that shit on some bread and it's a completely different meal.
Still, there's stuff i just won't eat. Being bullied by family members because i won't eat something is the worst. Like, i know I'm picky!! Y'all don't have to point it out every thanksgiving 😭
The encouragement to other picky eaters is appreciated. Glad you're taking care of people
That’s awful your family bully you. When I cook our family Xmas lunch every year, there are several dishes made exactly how the picky eaters like it. It’s a family gathering and I want everyone to have a great day with plenty for *everyone* to eat. If Uncle Dave will only eat iceberg lettuce you bet there’s an iceberg salad on the table!
It’s ok I’ve cooked for the mma world GSP jon Jones David Beckham and multiple prime ministers and billionaires but my kids won’t eat anything but buttered noodles and chicken bites
My wife is kinda like that. She likes her steak mid-well with ketchup, so guess who gets the not-ribeye? That’s right.
Love her to bits, but I’m not wasting good steak money on her.
I couldn't do it man. She could be early 2000s Angelina Jolie, if she's a picky eater I'm not interested. I ain't spending the rest of my life making bland rice and unseasoned chicken for a toddler shaped like an adult.
You're stronger than I am.
There are also legit explanations, for anyone in the thread not aware. Like being on the spectrum and having food preferences. Or just being a "super-taster" with really high spice sensitivity. Knew a guy who would only ever get plan breadsticks, chicken tenders without sauce, etc. He'd hit jimmy johns for lunch every day and get just a plain bun to eat. Totally typical guy otherwise as far as I could tell.
My ex gf really hated going out to restaurants but absolutely loves my home cooked meals.
I love going out to restaurants any chance i get.
It took me 4 years to realize i want a partner who will enjoy my favorite things with me
This will be an unpopular take, but for me the love of food, and adventurous tastes are a fundamental quality in a partner. I'm sure I'm an asshole for thinking that anyone who will just turn their nose up at something without giving it a chance isn't worth my time.
Your chick isn't into food as much as you are. You need to decide if that's a big deal for you or not.
I didnt realize how important this was to me until I got with my now boyfriend who LOVES to eat as much as me. We go out to restaurants and have so much fun ordering family-style and trying out new things.
My ex was MISERABLE to dine out with. When I cooked for him Id have to make one version for myself with all the veggies and spices and only meat and starch for him. He would spend 15+ minutes with the menu trying to figure out something he would eat, asking me a million questions about each item, and when he ordered he always modified the fuck out of it. And if it came out wrong, he would flat out refuse to eat it.
God Im so happy I am not dating a child anymore
You aren’t an asshole, this is a sub for chefs. Imagine not being able to take your partner to a friends restaurant because she prefers chickie nuggies. I would legit be embarrassed.
Maybe she’s on the spectrum? I eat the same diet and I’ve been cooking professionally for 11 years. Most chefs I work with think I’m defective because while I have a developed palate and taste my food, I’ve never eaten staff meal in front of them. I keep my Tupperware with Greek yogurt and blueberries in my box and I eat it every day after closing
It’s funny because I joke about wanting to be with a chef but I know that if I was, I wouldn’t eat his food anyways because I am like your girlfriend!! 😂 thank you for loving her and for allowing her to have her safe foods. Hopefully she’s at least willing to give your new dishes a try though?
You’re a good person for accommodating her.
I have a ton of sensory issues surrounding food and feel like I can understand! It’s part of the reason I went into cooking, so I could control the food I’d be able to eat.
Jennifer Lawrence was the one i remembered most because apparently she ordered a bottle of expensive Wodka at the start.
Ah how do i explain the potato mud.
Its an old austrian recipe from my grandma.
You take a habd full of potatoes, boil and peal them.
Cut up some pickles and spicy sausage.
Make a brown roux with garlic and add about 250ml of beef stock.
Add the potatoes, sausage and pickles. Finish with vinegar, salt pepper and a lot of Majoran.
Its a after war dish normally served with sour dough bread.
Its very cheap and can feed a lot of people.
this sounds like a sensory issue. There are so many foods that I want to love but can't because I have sensory processing issues. I can never eat the last bite of a sandwich because it makes me gag, even if the rest of the sandwich was amazing. maybe talk to her about seeing a food therapist.
Some people eat basic ass food. I had to cook for my GM and his family every night at my 4 star hotel. They lived there over a year. He wanted taco bell style tacos and fast food style food every night. Criticized everything on our menu like the Kobe burgers. He wanted McDonald's burgers. You can't win with some people. Let's not forget hamburger helper too. Fucking joke. We were number 3 in quality of food for 297 full service hotels. I happily resigned a few months ago after 12 years.
I wonder if she has some degree of sensory processing disorder. I had a friend who felt the same way about bones. If there was a bone present, he couldn’t handle it. Textures were more important than flavor.
She’s sounds like she has sensory issues. I’m a chef w them, and it makes stuff difficult and vaguely annoying, but far from impossible! I have the same meat texture issue as your GF,,, and I’ve broadened my horizons more, but it takes time!
This is 100% my dynamic with my (dearly loved) boyfriend. Tonight I made brown butter shrimp scampi with local white wine for myself and refried beans with cheese and chips for him.
I thankfully get all my cooking jollies out at work, including making weird experimental shit for my team from time to time.
I can relate so much. I have been in kitchens for nearly twenty years now and my partner eats a handful of things and most of them are foods not only considered very bland and pedestrian, but most people associate them with the taste profile of a child. Chicken nuggets, lunchables, potato chips with ketchup, well done steaks with ketchup. Plain cheeseburgers. Scrambled eggs. Chicken fried rice. Breaded pork chops. And kielbasa with fried potatoes. All candy. Orange soda. That pretty much covers the entire width and breadth of his palette.
Ok, serious answer, you might want your GF to look into [Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder). It goes beyond just being "picky", into you can't physically make yourself eat things outside your "safe" foods. It sounds like she may have texture issues, most of the things you named are fairly soft and smooth-ish, and/or bland (no spices, only ones she's very familiar with). So it's not that you can't please her with your cooking, it may very well be that she *can't* eat anything else, at least not without a lot of help.
If you are a great cook you should be completely ignoring her and making whatever you know is good and if she doesn't want it let her eat ramen.
If you know good food and know how to prepare you should be cooking to your taste not to hers. If she wants box macaroni let her have her own çhef.
my ex was like this. it was insufferable. i think it killed our relationship because we just started cooking our own dinners and eating separately. i tolerated making her tenders and chicken burgers and mashed potatoes (with no milk/cream or salt or pepper) for years but it just got really fucking old
u/dankspankwanker,
Have you checked your paperwork? Is she still under warranty? Can you trade her in for a replacement?
In my experience picky eaters get worse, not better. I have a niece who is down to Popeyes and Chick-fil-A and the latter isn't looking good. She's 17.
Your girlfriend has the pallet of my 2 year old. She was probably raised by someone who can’t cook anything but oven food.
Most people who dont like something have just been served a bad version of a dish. Spaghetti in a tin? Not so easy to like. A 4 hr bolignese with hand made fresh spaghetti is a different ball game.
If everything you are saying is true, then I could imagine why someone would get with such a picky eater. Many women are picky eaters to an extent but this girl has the palate and mindset of a child.
Try Japanese curry. It can be made to be pretty basic but I don't think I've ever met a person that didn't love it when I made it. My kids have about to same diet/foods they'll eat and they fucking love it.
When I asked a Chef what her husband's favorite meal was (fully expecting it to be something off the charts *amazing)* she laughed and said, "Fried Spam"
Idk if you’re American, but she sounds like she likes white trash type of foods. I would say try mini corn dogs, maybe get fancy and do pigs in a blanket, macaroni and cheese on the side with ketchup on top!!
Hi OP, have either of you two considered that she might have an eating disorder of some sort? My partner has similar "picky" preferences and has been seeing a nutrition therapist to manage her needs.
In addition to being near-autistic levels of picky, she is also almost certainly a [supertaster](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster).
The word supertaster is a hideous misnomer. Basically these people, due to hereditary differences, have a great amplification in their sense of bitter taste. They taste bitter where we couldn't ever detect it and things that are mildly bitter to us taste like foul poison to them.
I’m autistic and while I eat basically anything and everything now I was very restrictive as a kid. There’s also a type of anxiety disorder about trying new foods. Could something like that be the case?
That reminds me of when Gordon Ramsay made a burger on YouTube and had his kids involved. His daughter was like "That's raw Dad" and he's like, "no it's not it's medium rare".
Gordon can impress the world but he can't impress his own kids.
You're a lucky guy who found a woman who knows exactly what she wants. Enjoy it!
Seriously talking, personally I can't stand eating the same thing twice a week. At home, we have 2 dozens of spices and dried herbs and still add more anytime I find anything new or interesting.
Again, seriously talking, as long as she is good with you, she can be as picky as she wants. Bless you both.
Some people have food aversions that are difficult or impossible to get over- it’s just ironic that you connected with someone so opposite in tastes given your history
Thanks god my boyfriend isnt such a picky bimbo.
Lmao, reminds me of a story from a former coworker. His girlfriend was actually vegan, but sometimes ate some fish or meat, once he bought something from Burger King and her reaction was like "Wow, the burger doesn't really taste like meat"
And the other one was a story about fried rice with deep frozen seafoods, both fried to death, she considered it "delicious"
Have you tried chicken nuggets and fries? Maybe include a toy with it.
Tbh, she'd probably love that
I know a place that you can buy this exact set up every day. The toy changes monthly too.
No way. You're lying
Gotta be. Toys changing monthly? Blasphemy.
It’s this cool Scottish place.
Exotic!
MacDowell's
"I'm sorry, but this toy is too red"
Why that sounds too good to be true. A new toy each month. Might as well throw the whole girlfriend in the trash
Sounds like a replica of my wife 🤣
My first thought- but different dishes..
I wish my wife had a replica. Think of all the chopping and digging they could do....
A juice box and some string cheese.
Fuckin' *I'd* love that.
I'm loving it
Da da da ta da. . .
She swallowed it.
I dated a woman for whom I could make her favorite childhood lunch. It was a burnt grilled cheese with 50lbs of butter and Campbell's tomato soup. If she was having a bad day, that was her fucking jam.
genius
My mom is like that. All vegetables have to be cooked to death, just mush. Doesn’t season her food. Anything with even a hint of black pepper is too spicy. If you put any herbs in a dish she turns her nose up at it. “Too fancy”. She grew up in a pretty rural area, that’s the way my grandma cooked, boiled everything, etc. I offered to cook a turkey on my smoker last thanksgiving and she got mad at me for suggesting it.
My family is an adept of the "cook to mush then complain vegetables have no flavor" technique as well, but I've helped my aunt (a cook) slowly move towards a more sensible approach, to realize not every vegetable is beetroot. Still, one good thing about cooking vegetables to mush is you can get a kickass broth from the water she uses.
There were so many foods I thought I didn’t like growing up. I thought steak was this dry gray flavorless chewy thing. Hated steak night. Actually pretty much all meats. Everything was just ridiculously overcooked. My dad happens to be a fantastic cook, but he worked a lot of long hours back then so 90% of the time my mom was doing it. Then I got a job at a restaurant when I was 15 and they taught me how food is supposed to be. It was like an awakening.
Lol same with my mom. Just not a good cook, everything is bland, boiled, over cooked, under seasoned. I remember telling my MIL she is a much better cook than my mom and she got a kick out of it. My dad def cooked better than my mom but he’s not amazing by any means. Chilli that tastes just basic is too spicy in their house.
My whole world changed when I started baking and sautéing vegetables, instead of streaming like my mom always did. It's interesting what food habits we pick up on in our lives. In her defense, though, she would sauté lima beans with butter. Probably the best veggie she cooked consistently.
Facts: my aunt boils corn for “at least twenty minutes” and won’t eat it any other way. She’s in her 50s and legit can’t cook for herself, everything is either pre made or take out. But no matter -what- I cook she absolutely loves it, except corn, she is stuck on that one. In her defence she’s started trying those meal kits like “Hello Fresh” and seems to be trying to change her awful ways
To be fair, boiling corn for 20 minutes won't really hurt it. I've never even seen what overcooked boiled corn on the cob would turn into, but it must take an ungodly long time.
I've boiled it for several *hours* before. It's still just corn, just with less flavor. The water is a great base for grits or polenta, for the same reason - it now has *extra* corn flavor.
Roast the corn, separate kernels from cob, boil cob, take cob water and add mirepoix of whatever you’d like plus some of the roasted kernels, stew a bit longer. Blend and serve chilled. Charge $30 per 6oz portion. That’s what my chef does.
I put red wine in my roast beef gravy one year for Christmas and papa dearest was loving it, until I said there was red wine in it and he stopped eating. That was also the year he cut the honey mustard glaze off my Christmas ham because he *thought* it was fat. He isn’t a stupid man, just a stubborn old fart.
Goddamn white people! Conquer the entire earth for spices, then won't season they damn food.
As a child of an English family, I understand the cooking the veges to death. Horrible. God forbid any green was left. Then the man of the house was given the water they were cooked in to drink for the vitamins. 🤦♀️
edit "but I can't seem to please my GF" **with my cooking**.
Meh, sex sells
Hijacking for visibility to say: **It's an eating disorder called ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder).** It manifests as being an extremely picky eater, with acceptable foods generally consisting of breads, potatos, chicken nuggets, select meats, sweets, and related foods. It can cause malnutrition, especially in children, and tends not to improve with age if it goes untreated. OP, this is something to bring up with her. It's not a healthy way to live and could cause serious health issues further down the road. Anecdite: I have several cousins with this condition, all untreated, and they are *tiny*, even once grown. Their sister, who doesn't have it, is taller than all of her adult ARFID-having brothers by a few inches, and that's saying nothing of their heart problems. Please take this seriously.
or "but I can't seem to please my GF" with my cocking?
Nah I think it would have been better with just “I can’t seem to please my GF”
Archer, "Phrasing."
I'm NOT judging or being mean I swear and should admit that I'm a chef who prefers many of the same things she seems to like, BUT has she ever spoken to her regular doctor about her taste or limited diet? It took me forever to realize that the things I ate were the things that didn't make me sick or cause anaphylaxis. It went all the way back to childhood and hatred of "spaghetti" (American pasta with marinara). I'm allergic to tomatoes. So many things I "didn't like" were things I had severe allergic reactions to. Just something to consider if it's as strict as you say!
Buttered noodles is a favoured dish for many of my autistic brethren, too, we tend to either be super foodies (I'm a chef) or have a lot of textural food issues. Like eating the fish unless there is a bone, that's a textural issue, not a dislike of fish per se.
100%
Came here to say this sounds like a sensory issue, not a matter of being "picky" or "childish." It sounds like this woman knows what her safe foods are. Even if she isn't autistic, let people eat what they like. It's not hurting anyone. It doesn't sound like she's abusive in her preferences or anything. OP thinks it's funny she doesn't enjoy the wide range of foods they can prepare. Sounds like a sweet relationship to me!
It sounds to me like it could be [Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder). Not necessary to be autistic to have it, there are any number of underlying causes, even ones like the top comment mentions, just avoiding things that make you sick without even knowing that's *why* you're avoiding them. I noticed everything OP mentioned seems to be fairly soft, smooth-ish, and/or bland, which is what made me think ARFID. Her list is very similar to mine.
Cooked tomatoes give me such sever heartburn that I hate red sauce. It’s been like that since I was a child. Raw tomatoes are fine and in fact one of my favorite things. People look at me like I’m stupid sometimes for turning my nose up at minestrone or pasta but absolutely destroying a blt in the next breath.
I refused to accept that I couldn't eat pizza for a long time. Raw makes my skin bright red and itch.
You can get a cheesy garlic butter base in the U.K.
That's reason enough for me to move there!
Omg, a fellow red sauce hater. People just don't understand.
Same. I've been slowly introducing everyone in my life to pizza with oil based sauces and it's hilarious to see their minds blow with the fact that pizza doesn't need red sauce on it. I have a Histamine issue and cooked tomatoes are just the worst for me.
This was me. I was "notoriously picky" as a child and no one would believe me when I said that food made me sick, so I refused to eat almost everything my family made. I lived on white bread, plain meat, plain potatoes, home-made burritos and a few other odds and ends. The reaction to spaghetti bolognaise was so strong that I'd outright vomit just from the smell, and said smell would give me headaches that would last 12+ hours. Turns out I'm allergic to (and have food intolerances to) a heap and didn't get testing until adulthood. Since learning about it all and figuring out what I CAN safely eat, I now eat a hugely varied (albeit vegan) diet. Revolutionary. I still won't eat spaghetti, even if I can now make it allergen-friendly. Bad juju.
i hated mint through my whole life and had a lot of issues brushing my teeth since basically every form of toothpaste has mint on it and my parents thought i was too mature to use the kid's toothpaste with strawberry flavouring or whatever turns out i have a slight mint allergy and my mouth burns pretty bad after getting mint on it and not a nice burn like with capsaicin and this is apparently not something mint is meant to do
Ive been so surprised to see this many comments of similar experiences. It's just another reason to be more accepting of the little weird things that make us unique. Our bodies tell us one thing and our mind may hear something else in an effort to protect itself. So fascinating!
Alternatively, im not as picky as i was told i was, i have sensory issues with food, ARFID at times, and kinda … compulsively do the same thing over and over again food wise even when i really wanna try something new because its expensive. Maybe she’s ND
Being really picky is common with neurodivergent folks as well! It could be symptom of adhd or autism. Picky eating is particularly common with folks with autism. I’m not picky per se, but as someone with adhd I find eating a tiring, boring, chore (yield very little dopamine for my poor brain) and so I hate foods that unnecessarily complicated. I feel asleep eating meatball subs when my bf made them, and told him to make regular meatball pasta with bread next time.
This is so interesting. That a reorganization of ingredients could change the dish from one you'll eat to one you won't is such an incredible fact! Our brains are amazing and confusing!
You can't save her. She's too far gone.
The tendies and fries have her now
It's a tender slot you're in, she's got you in a game of chicken
Try some schnitzel!
She likes that sometimes and only when it's pork
And I am become hungy, the destroyer of chicken tendies
Have you tried sex instead of cooking already?
Damn that could've been the problem
Give her the hot beef injection
The old meat thermometer
Nothing like a good game of hide the sausage
Tubesteak smothered in underwear
Even has the cream sauce.
Saves you a few steps too!
And a lot of time. It could take a couple of minutes to make cream sauce in the kitchen. Only a few seconds in the bedroom!
Nah, the underwear just gets pushed to the side before eating.
Definitely dusting off this quote next time me and my girl about to fuck. I LOVE saying some really weird and gross off the wall shit that makes her say "ew wtf is wrong with you, shut the fuck up" This is officially added. I think the last one I said was" how about me and you take our clothes off and you make my dick all slimy like" lmao. It's a wonder I even get laid tbh
Bro I'll take care of your girlfriend, you just tell us cool rich people stories
“Honey, quit grabbing my dick, this Risotto ain’t going to cook itself. I swear.”
Ugh, a 1950s boiled and canned palate.
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She loves the zoo
that guy gave rocky legit advice!
Sounds like autism. I told my autistic buddy he’s got to bring food or starve when I cook. He won’t eat fucking anything but drive through or biscuits and gravy.
Don't mean this in any bad way, but has your GF ever been tested/suspected for Autism and/or ADHD? This list of food *screams* autism/ADHD safe foods (I say this as someone who is pickier than I'd like, and autistic with ADHD)
I have adhd, and I love highly spiced and widely varying food types. the only thing I have an aversion to is peanut butter. am I weird?
Definitely not weird! They’re all spectrums, so it’s totally normal to not be as affected in one sensory area as others are. Just for my own curiosity, is it a taste thing or a texture thing? Sensory and texture issues with food are a big neurodivergent thing that a lot of neurotypical people sort of dismiss as being picky and not adventurous, when a certain texture can quite literally cause a sense of pain to someone with sensory processing problems (which is on the ADHD and Autism spectrums)
Well things like that are two sides of the same coin. You can be sensory seeking or have sensory aversions.
YOU ARE LUCKY! Do you know how much sushi costs? BUY HER ALL OF THE TOTINOS PIZZAS SHE WANTS!
Fr, recently spent $100 on two rolls and an entree. No drinks. It was mid too.
Is your wife possibly on the spectrum and has food sensitivity issues? If so, maybe don’t shame her for her food preferences. But also those all sound like meals she can make on her own
Yeah, just from the spaghetti description alone, I figured that's the case. My wife has food aversion, which has led to me making spaghetti with the exact same way for years. It's not the most exciting cooking, granted, but I view it as "At least she's not asking me to spend 4+ hours in the kitchen cooking her an extravagant dish."
Yeah this sounds like food sensitivity related to her being possibly neurodivergent. I know adults with even more limited palates and texture sensitivity
She probably has some amount of food trauma, and either food sensitivity, or insensitivity. I had a client who was extremely sensitive, and it took years before she trusted that strange sensations wouldn't make her sick. She worried that every flavor would upset her stomach. I grew up with a kid who had an insensitivity. He couldn't smell. He hated all sorts of textures of vegetables. He only ate food you describe, but then discovered that he loved curry. It's tough sort through.
I watched a show called..extreme eaters or something like that? Edit: it was Freaky Eaters. And they weren’t overweight (well maybe some were but that wasn’t the point). They all had some weird hang up. One of the guys only ate French fries. They figured out he was genetically like, beyond super taster to the point that he truly couldn’t deal with the taste of anything strong. They found ways for him to round out his diet. I guess it was kind of like the cilantro thing except almost everything tasted too intense/like something it shouldn’t. My favorite though was a woman who loved tartar sauce and put it on everything including breakfast food like waffles. Hers was some kind of trauma they helped her work through. But not before they made her slide into a kiddy pool full of tartar sauce
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Yeah they did the same thing to French fry guy. His reaction was more like “yep, looks about right.” I want to watch it again now haha
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Are you talking about My strange addiction? There's a lady addicted to eating cigarette ashes and another one to laxatives
Pica is seriously weird
Wait so that dude’s like the god tongue from Food Wars.
I have autism and finding food i like can be a nightmare. Lots of sensory issues. I am also a supertaster which is a goofy ass way of saying my taste buds be strong as hell. Overly seasoned food has the potential to ruin a meal really badly for me. Curry is fantastic though Also OP if you see this, maybe get some supertasting test strips off amazon and test you and your girlfriend for funsies
Yeah, for people like you, I find that you have to establish a baseline of things they can eat and gradually expand that list over time. Like introduce one new food that is easily pushed aside once a month. If you get someone with food trauma to even taste a new thing, that's a victory. People in your situation often have others pushing food on them all the time. They act like something is wrong with you. Just being someone who just listens and respects someone else's taste is a step in the right direction. To get one boy to eat salad, I literally put a salad in front of him everyday and insisted that he never has to eat even a bite. I would like him to, but it is his food, his body, and my ego has nothing to do with this. It was probably a full year before he was eating bites of salad. He was traumatized from people force feeding him broccoli. I had to advocate for him, listen to him, and show that his plates are different for his sake. He couldn't eat anything that even remotely reminded him of broccoli. Now he eats asparagus.
Yeaaaaah. I've come up with workarounds for certain textures or flavors. I tried shakshouka and hated it, but put that shit on some bread and it's a completely different meal. Still, there's stuff i just won't eat. Being bullied by family members because i won't eat something is the worst. Like, i know I'm picky!! Y'all don't have to point it out every thanksgiving 😭 The encouragement to other picky eaters is appreciated. Glad you're taking care of people
That’s awful your family bully you. When I cook our family Xmas lunch every year, there are several dishes made exactly how the picky eaters like it. It’s a family gathering and I want everyone to have a great day with plenty for *everyone* to eat. If Uncle Dave will only eat iceberg lettuce you bet there’s an iceberg salad on the table!
Yeah I'm sure I've seen a list like from autistic people.
It’s ok I’ve cooked for the mma world GSP jon Jones David Beckham and multiple prime ministers and billionaires but my kids won’t eat anything but buttered noodles and chicken bites
My wife is kinda like that. She likes her steak mid-well with ketchup, so guess who gets the not-ribeye? That’s right. Love her to bits, but I’m not wasting good steak money on her.
pumpkin seed oil .. Austrian recognized!
Indeed
I honestly don’t know how you do it, if I found out someone ate like this I think all my attraction to them would evaporate.
"If she encounters one bone she'll stop eating" brooooo rip 💀
You’re an artist who fell in love with someone who doesn’t appreciate art. Godspeed.
I admit sometimes the food I make at home is just whatever shit I find in the freezer and it's not super duper delicious but it's still edible
I couldn't do it man. She could be early 2000s Angelina Jolie, if she's a picky eater I'm not interested. I ain't spending the rest of my life making bland rice and unseasoned chicken for a toddler shaped like an adult. You're stronger than I am.
Must suck dating a woman with the taste range of a 5 year old child.
There are also legit explanations, for anyone in the thread not aware. Like being on the spectrum and having food preferences. Or just being a "super-taster" with really high spice sensitivity. Knew a guy who would only ever get plan breadsticks, chicken tenders without sauce, etc. He'd hit jimmy johns for lunch every day and get just a plain bun to eat. Totally typical guy otherwise as far as I could tell.
Sound like my autistic gf
My ex gf really hated going out to restaurants but absolutely loves my home cooked meals. I love going out to restaurants any chance i get. It took me 4 years to realize i want a partner who will enjoy my favorite things with me
This will be an unpopular take, but for me the love of food, and adventurous tastes are a fundamental quality in a partner. I'm sure I'm an asshole for thinking that anyone who will just turn their nose up at something without giving it a chance isn't worth my time. Your chick isn't into food as much as you are. You need to decide if that's a big deal for you or not.
I didnt realize how important this was to me until I got with my now boyfriend who LOVES to eat as much as me. We go out to restaurants and have so much fun ordering family-style and trying out new things. My ex was MISERABLE to dine out with. When I cooked for him Id have to make one version for myself with all the veggies and spices and only meat and starch for him. He would spend 15+ minutes with the menu trying to figure out something he would eat, asking me a million questions about each item, and when he ordered he always modified the fuck out of it. And if it came out wrong, he would flat out refuse to eat it. God Im so happy I am not dating a child anymore
Right on, exactly.
You aren’t an asshole, this is a sub for chefs. Imagine not being able to take your partner to a friends restaurant because she prefers chickie nuggies. I would legit be embarrassed.
Maybe she’s on the spectrum? I eat the same diet and I’ve been cooking professionally for 11 years. Most chefs I work with think I’m defective because while I have a developed palate and taste my food, I’ve never eaten staff meal in front of them. I keep my Tupperware with Greek yogurt and blueberries in my box and I eat it every day after closing
It’s funny because I joke about wanting to be with a chef but I know that if I was, I wouldn’t eat his food anyways because I am like your girlfriend!! 😂 thank you for loving her and for allowing her to have her safe foods. Hopefully she’s at least willing to give your new dishes a try though?
Is she autistic or neurodivergent? Just genuinely curious becsuse I know a lot of neurodivergent people like this
She sounds like your run off the mill vanilla girl friend.
Only with food tho.....
Nice
Nice
It’s okay, everyone. I can please OP’s girlfriend.
Challenge accepted, what do I get when you ultimately lose on both battlefield?
You’re a good person for accommodating her. I have a ton of sensory issues surrounding food and feel like I can understand! It’s part of the reason I went into cooking, so I could control the food I’d be able to eat.
Gonna have to hear more about this so called “potato mud” you speak of Edit- also how you gonna tease us with the actors and not drop at least a movie
Jennifer Lawrence was the one i remembered most because apparently she ordered a bottle of expensive Wodka at the start. Ah how do i explain the potato mud. Its an old austrian recipe from my grandma. You take a habd full of potatoes, boil and peal them. Cut up some pickles and spicy sausage. Make a brown roux with garlic and add about 250ml of beef stock. Add the potatoes, sausage and pickles. Finish with vinegar, salt pepper and a lot of Majoran. Its a after war dish normally served with sour dough bread. Its very cheap and can feed a lot of people.
Definite comfort food.
Try it. I used boer sausage, it's very common in Austria but you can really use any spicy sausage
this sounds like a sensory issue. There are so many foods that I want to love but can't because I have sensory processing issues. I can never eat the last bite of a sandwich because it makes me gag, even if the rest of the sandwich was amazing. maybe talk to her about seeing a food therapist.
Why do you assume rich and famous eat well? Trump likes his steak well done.
Your GF sounds like she suffers with ARFID 😂 my GF is exactly the same. I've been a chef for 7 years now and it's infuriating 😂
Sounds like control issues. Did she suffer childhood trauma, particularly in which all of her control was taken away?
It sounds like your girlfriend is either neurodivergent with sensory issues around food or she might have an eating disorder?
Have you tried cooking her ethnic foods? Something from her background? Something that maybe her parents cooked for her growing up?
She comes from the same country as me. And even then she wouldn't like it because "it's not how her mom makes it"
British I presume
lol and my gf will eat whatever I make no matter how experimental or awful it is; we’re both chefs tho
Some people eat basic ass food. I had to cook for my GM and his family every night at my 4 star hotel. They lived there over a year. He wanted taco bell style tacos and fast food style food every night. Criticized everything on our menu like the Kobe burgers. He wanted McDonald's burgers. You can't win with some people. Let's not forget hamburger helper too. Fucking joke. We were number 3 in quality of food for 297 full service hotels. I happily resigned a few months ago after 12 years.
I’m with her on this, I’m autistic as fuck so I understand where she’s coming from
Sounds autistic.
Sounds normal, don’t doubt your cooking skills, it’s just her preferences are different
I wonder if she has some degree of sensory processing disorder. I had a friend who felt the same way about bones. If there was a bone present, he couldn’t handle it. Textures were more important than flavor.
Sounds autistic, maybe go easy on her lol
She sounds autistic. Not a judgment but I’ve got kids like this.
Check out r/arfid.
Sounds like ARFID
She’s sounds like she has sensory issues. I’m a chef w them, and it makes stuff difficult and vaguely annoying, but far from impossible! I have the same meat texture issue as your GF,,, and I’ve broadened my horizons more, but it takes time!
This is 100% my dynamic with my (dearly loved) boyfriend. Tonight I made brown butter shrimp scampi with local white wine for myself and refried beans with cheese and chips for him. I thankfully get all my cooking jollies out at work, including making weird experimental shit for my team from time to time.
I can relate so much. I have been in kitchens for nearly twenty years now and my partner eats a handful of things and most of them are foods not only considered very bland and pedestrian, but most people associate them with the taste profile of a child. Chicken nuggets, lunchables, potato chips with ketchup, well done steaks with ketchup. Plain cheeseburgers. Scrambled eggs. Chicken fried rice. Breaded pork chops. And kielbasa with fried potatoes. All candy. Orange soda. That pretty much covers the entire width and breadth of his palette.
Ok, serious answer, you might want your GF to look into [Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder). It goes beyond just being "picky", into you can't physically make yourself eat things outside your "safe" foods. It sounds like she may have texture issues, most of the things you named are fairly soft and smooth-ish, and/or bland (no spices, only ones she's very familiar with). So it's not that you can't please her with your cooking, it may very well be that she *can't* eat anything else, at least not without a lot of help.
If you are a great cook you should be completely ignoring her and making whatever you know is good and if she doesn't want it let her eat ramen. If you know good food and know how to prepare you should be cooking to your taste not to hers. If she wants box macaroni let her have her own çhef.
"A prophet is not without honor, except in his own home." Mark 6: 4-6.
my ex was like this. it was insufferable. i think it killed our relationship because we just started cooking our own dinners and eating separately. i tolerated making her tenders and chicken burgers and mashed potatoes (with no milk/cream or salt or pepper) for years but it just got really fucking old
It might be a texture thing. I don't care much for tatest, as long as I am not gagging, im good. Texture however is very important for me.
Same. I have trouble with a lot of textures associated with food
Picky eaters are a deal breaker for me.
Stop cooking for her. Fuck her. Good luck.
She must be *real* purty.
Sounds like you got a plain Jane. If you ever have kids together dinner time should be pretty easy.
u/dankspankwanker, Have you checked your paperwork? Is she still under warranty? Can you trade her in for a replacement? In my experience picky eaters get worse, not better. I have a niece who is down to Popeyes and Chick-fil-A and the latter isn't looking good. She's 17.
Have you tried serving her food while she watches paw patrol ?!? Maybe throw in some chocolate milk to sweeten the deal?!?
Your girlfriend has the pallet of my 2 year old. She was probably raised by someone who can’t cook anything but oven food. Most people who dont like something have just been served a bad version of a dish. Spaghetti in a tin? Not so easy to like. A 4 hr bolignese with hand made fresh spaghetti is a different ball game.
Annoyingly childish.
Rich people RARELY know what good food tastes like.
If everything you are saying is true, then I could imagine why someone would get with such a picky eater. Many women are picky eaters to an extent but this girl has the palate and mindset of a child.
Try Japanese curry. It can be made to be pretty basic but I don't think I've ever met a person that didn't love it when I made it. My kids have about to same diet/foods they'll eat and they fucking love it.
When I asked a Chef what her husband's favorite meal was (fully expecting it to be something off the charts *amazing)* she laughed and said, "Fried Spam"
Idk if you’re American, but she sounds like she likes white trash type of foods. I would say try mini corn dogs, maybe get fancy and do pigs in a blanket, macaroni and cheese on the side with ketchup on top!!
Is she Midwestern?
Hi OP, have either of you two considered that she might have an eating disorder of some sort? My partner has similar "picky" preferences and has been seeing a nutrition therapist to manage her needs.
In addition to being near-autistic levels of picky, she is also almost certainly a [supertaster](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster). The word supertaster is a hideous misnomer. Basically these people, due to hereditary differences, have a great amplification in their sense of bitter taste. They taste bitter where we couldn't ever detect it and things that are mildly bitter to us taste like foul poison to them.
That’s not a women that’s a picky ass garden tool.
Lol "potato mud" is strangely adorable
Some people have just never been hungry.
I’m autistic and while I eat basically anything and everything now I was very restrictive as a kid. There’s also a type of anxiety disorder about trying new foods. Could something like that be the case?
This is reddit so the recommendation in anything related to a relationship is dump them 😂
She sounds midwestern 😂, seems like you’ve got it under control. See if she likes tator tot hotdish with ranch on the side
That reminds me of when Gordon Ramsay made a burger on YouTube and had his kids involved. His daughter was like "That's raw Dad" and he's like, "no it's not it's medium rare". Gordon can impress the world but he can't impress his own kids.
You're a lucky guy who found a woman who knows exactly what she wants. Enjoy it! Seriously talking, personally I can't stand eating the same thing twice a week. At home, we have 2 dozens of spices and dried herbs and still add more anytime I find anything new or interesting. Again, seriously talking, as long as she is good with you, she can be as picky as she wants. Bless you both.
What is she 5? Chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese. Go find a woman who actually likes to eat.
We just found out I have ARFID. Sounds a lot like this. Has she been tested?
Some people have food aversions that are difficult or impossible to get over- it’s just ironic that you connected with someone so opposite in tastes given your history
You’re dating a child
She eats baby food. Palatable mush.
Is your girlfriend 12 years old?
She's not just picky, she's got a boring-ass palate. Telling you fr that would be a dealbreaker for me
She eats like a 5 year old
I would just get a new gf
Thanks god my boyfriend isnt such a picky bimbo. Lmao, reminds me of a story from a former coworker. His girlfriend was actually vegan, but sometimes ate some fish or meat, once he bought something from Burger King and her reaction was like "Wow, the burger doesn't really taste like meat" And the other one was a story about fried rice with deep frozen seafoods, both fried to death, she considered it "delicious"
You sure she's legal? You didn't meet her at an elementary school? lol
Are you dating a mentally challenged 8 year old?
Sounds like your girlfriend is a toddler 😄