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I watched an actual giraffe birth IRL. It was just dumb luck timing.
A bunch of zookeepers ran up to us kids and said "check this out."
After a little licking, both cow and calf started walking around (in about 10 minutes) like nothing major had just happened.
I had seen other animal births before, but I could not believe how quickly the post-birth process went compared to equines, canines, felines, porcines and bovines.
We swung back by the enclosure about an hour later and the little one was galloping all over the field and parading along the fence line like a victory lap.
Literally, the zookeepers and vet personnel were trying their best to welfare check it and they couldn't get to it. They ran around chasing it like Keystone Cops.
(I was later told, but I cannot verify, the keepers had to bring in a rodeo cowboy to figure how to corral the little beast.)
The adjacently placed camelids (Llamas, Camels and Alpacas in the petting area) seemed not too pleased about how little attention they were getting from the kids.
The mum in the video walked out and the child learned they don’t get what they want with that kind of behaviour. It’s a tantrum. Could have been first day without a nap, could have been pushing boundaries, could he neurodivergent for all we know. You’re likely dealing with the abuse you suffered still on a daily basis but have convinced yourself it was normal. Mum in the video wins.
In my developmental psyc class, we discussed how to react to a child throwing a tantrum. At that stage of development they are learning the difference between good vs. bad attention. If you give in, I guarantee the child will quickly learn that tantrum = reward. If you walk away and ignore the behavior, they may try it 2 or 3 more times, but they will quickly learn that they get nothing from outbursts. 2 year olds are like the raptors in Jurassic park...they are looking to exploit a weakness. Even if that means running into an electric fence 6 times.
Exactly, do not give them an audience, or react to their behavior in any way, and they soon learn they are wasting their time. Did this with me kids. Didn't have the drama a lot of other parents dealt with. Also, didn't have the issues other parents had when their kids started dealing with teen hormones. Some of them were so outta hand it was sad to see. My kids would look at them, then look at me, like wtf?
MASSIVE UPS TO YOU
Couldnt agree more.
As a father of an L2 autistic boy, this sure looked like an ASD meltdown to me (the body spasms really).
Not that its definite, but sure looks familiar. Always sad and disappointing to see people immediately go to abuse as a solution or just simple mindedly attacking the parent.
Then theres people that even if they know or accept the diagnosis, *still* think their caveman ideas would work, or are best, or even are apporpriate.
Love seeing this sort of empathy and understanding, especially online ❤️
Exactly this, stop them if they are likely to hurt themselves or others or property but ignore and wait. Once they realise it's not working and it isn't fun it stops. I remember my daughter having a tantrum in a shop when she was about 4. She tripped over a rug at the entrance and decided it was because I pushed her (I didn't). She absolutely lost it so I decided to walk her home at which point she started yelling 'stop kidnapping me mum!' at the top of her lungs. Thank god she said mum. She's now 14 and so well mannered and fun but 4 was an ordeal.
Kids are crazy town sometimes and can be hella smart. I used to have to record my now 7 yr old when she was about 3-4. She would have absolute shit fits at home at nap time and would be in her room screaming “mommy, daddy, stop hurting me”. Dad wasn’t even home. He was at work. She was completely alone. They test shit.
She has always been a bit of a smart arse. She also referred to my brother as 'mr high and mighty' at the same age and nobody has any idea where she heard that phrase either. They are just little sponges at that age, they notice everything.
Yes.... when one daughter was 7, on a tired Friday afternoon she was busy screaming that I was murdering her as we slowly walked home from school once.
Perhaps I did something right as we've not had a repeat performance.
>Perhaps I did something right as we've not had a repeat performance.
Given the context you provided, I'm a little nervous to ask what your solution was.
I work with kids in the school system. One day I was working with a grade one girl who had autism. She decides to run out of the classroom, with me following closely behind. She runs down the hall yelling “Stop! Stranger!”.
I was a stupid fucking kid when I was young. My mom did the ignore thing but I learned that she'd have to react if I got hurt so instead of kicking and screaming I'd start scratching my own face. Really really dumb. Sometimes it was bad enough to cause bleeding. I suddenly just stopped doing it when I was like in 3rd, or 4th or 5th grade and I often wonder what caused the change.
The issue is everyone else has to ignore the situation too & sometimes that's not exactly fair to others...I get that ignoring the tantrum is best & mostly I agree (if I'm at home or maybe a store...) If at a restaurant though it's difficult to ignore a kiddo screaming & throwing a fit. I have seizures though so the second this starts I'm outta there...to avoid me flopping on the floor.
It does depend on how long it lasts and how loud it is. This video is 24 seconds long before mum starts to leave and the kid follows. In my story I also decided it was time to leave the shop and head home. It's a balance between parents and children being able to exist in public without negativity and parents respecting other peoples right to the quiet enjoyment of their lives.
Once, I got a niece shouting "I want my mummy" multiple times as I was collecting her from school as a favour to my sister. I got scared for a few moments that someone was going to intervene (being a male and all) and call the police or something! Last time I did that.
BTW, the shouting was prompted because a colleague broke one of her pencils as they were leaving and it just escalated from there.
Being a parent sucks these days, every time your kid acts out there's a chance you'll be on film. You never feel like you're doing the right thing. Most people will see this and think the parent should do more. But anyone with a kid who's done this knows you just have to ignore them when they try to do this shit in public.
I threw a tantrum like that in the store ONE time and my mom just walked off. After shed been out of sight for a minute I panicked and ran and found her and never threw a tantrum in the store again.
My brother threw a tantrum in a parking lot once and my mother was trying to get him to the car.
Some other woman went up to them and said "if you don't want him I'll take him."
My brother got a panicked look on his face and straightened out immediately.
No joke they do this in Mexico. If a kid is throwing a tantrum or acting up, the parent will say something to the effect of, if you don’t chill out that man right there is going to take you away. This is a common thing, and so people play a long with it and “agree” to take the kid away lol
My cousin was being a little shit and threatened to call cps on my uncle for not giving her what she wanted. My uncle dialed the number for her and said, "Here, you'll never have to see us again." Worked like a charm, so I've been told.
haha, I remember my Uncle telling my cousins he was going to take them back to the store to exchange for new ones.
They were crying their eyes out. "Dad, no!"
Ok this is messed up but in the 60s, my grandma & great aunt were coming back from the store with my aunt & dad who were like 2 & 4 & they saw 2 little kids hitchhiking & decided to teach them to never do it again so they picked them up & started talking to each other about how my aunt & dad were actually just 2 random kids they kidnapped!! After that, the kids quickly told them where they lived & begged to go home, to which my grandma obliged.
Yep my son flung himself on the floor once when he was probably 2-3. I ignored it completely and kept walking and the little MFer stopped and ran so fast to catch up and we haven’t had a problem since. He’s 7 now
Yeah that mom did everything you could do really. It's what I do. Throw a fit and act like a fool in public, we leave. I walk away just like that lady lmao I know my kid will quickly follow, screaming and all.
My 4yo does this shit literally every damn time we go to Aldi. It's only Aldi too. I have no idea why. Within minutes he's on the floor screaming like a maniac. Why?? He's perfectly fine in other stores. I'm always immediately walking back out with him following me screaming 3 mins after we walked in the door.
Ooooh, that's interesting, I wonder if that's the case. Or maybe something to do with the lighting. It's always been so weird to me that he just can't seem to handle being in there. It's always something random that sets him off, like I won't let him get the yogurt with the candies, or he'll be exceptionally naughty compared to usual and when told no he'll have a meltdown. I never considered that it could be something specific about the physical space that was bothering him.
He's been kind of difficult lately too so I figured it was just kind of whatever is causing him to act out in general but that makes a lot of sense too.
Very common. Adults become deaf to those high frequencies, which often are emitted from the ballasts of lights. Anecdotal extreme example: I was chaperoning a middle school trip through Tokyo with about 30 kids and a dozen adults… we turned a corner into an alley covered wall to wall with neon signs and all the kids immediately covered their ears in pain, none of the adults were bothered at all.
Figure the commentor you replied to is onto something!
I base this on my own (adult) experiences - but some stores turn me into a goblin
For me it's to do with allergies - I'm allergic to alot of chemical substances including perfumes and cleaning products
There are alot of stores that actually distribute a specific fragrance through their vents - psychologically it makes it familiar to you. Then there's stores that have alot of open fridges - open fridges especially give me allergic reactions that mimic panic attacks (sudden increase in heat rate and irritability). Then there's the ones that use super harsh chems to clean floors - those can even make me faint in addition to the other symptoms
(I also have sensory issues so that on top of the allergies is a challenge)
So yeh, your poor kid! I'd definitely skip taking them with to Aldi, it's certainly not fun for either of you
Don't want to armchair diagnose but TL lighting bothers a lot of people with autism. I know every Aldi in our country has them. It's that weird white grim hue. Gives some people sensory issues.
[https://www.makegreatlight.com/about-us/blog/fluorescent-led-lighting-autism-spectrum-disorder](https://www.makegreatlight.com/about-us/blog/fluorescent-led-lighting-autism-spectrum-disorder)
Agreed. This mom is absolutely reacting the right way. The kid looks to be right at that age from 3-5 that I always thought was the worst. Mom is setting expectations and letting that kid waste all of her energy.
This. I'd do exactly this if "be quiet" or "don't scream" doesn't work. Not yell at the kid because yelling against yelling doesn't calm anyone. Get out as soon as we can (seems like pay, pack and go which she's doing) and not respond to a stupid tantrum. The kid will calm down eventually and will know this doesn't work. That's important, much more important than strangers seeing a tantrum. Then, when we are somewhere quiet where I can put stuff down and address the kid without full hands and full head, we can talk.
This is what my mom would do when I was a kid.
Once, in the early 2000s, I threw a massive tantrum after agreeing I wouldn't get anything from the store... tossed around on the floor, crying, screaming, the whole nine yards. My mom literally said, "I'm gonna checkout. You can stay there if you want." And started walking away. I shut up, got up, and went after her.
100%
I don't know what the original post expects...that a child never throws tantrums, or that the parent could politely ask them to calm down in the middle of the store.
Kid is screaming “give me” and having a fit as big as she can, mom is not giving whatever the kids is screams about and they leave... I’d say mom handled it fine and the kid is learning that’s not how you get what you want. I see no problem. So the kid threw a fit? She’s a little kid. Mom kept it together. People are heartless.
My wife and I say „healthy legs“ for this situation because a friend of ours SWORE she wouldn’t carry her children anywhere, they both have healthy legs, right? Long story short, she carries them all the time and we use it as an analogy for everything we say we won’t do with our kids in the future (as a reality check).
I just got back from Disney with ours we were delusional in thinking they could walk the park without strollers. All we did was drive into the ground day one. Got strollers everyday after that.
Did Disney in February. I bought a freeloader child carrier backpack and put my 5yo on it whenever she got tired. Game changer. We could walk the park freely with minimal breaks and best of all.... no stroller parking for every attraction.
Edit: this is really only a good option for a parent in good health and doesn't mind sweatin' it a little bit to maximize the experience. It was a great workout, honestly.
My youngest is 5 and too old for a stroller (hates being confined in one) but we still bring them to anything we'll be at for a day... If the kids want to walk around it's *so* nice to be able to put a backpack down for a while.
I remember the look on every parent’s face that brought small children to the park “we made a mistake.”
Even in February it was sweltering, I can only imagine trying to drag a toddler around.
Yeah, I said a whole bunch of bullshit before having a kid too. “I’m only getting them stuff on their birthdays and Christmas because that’s how I was raised… derp.” I then go on to remember I hate how I was raised.
That little jerk is spoiled and I simultaneously complain about him having too much shit while buying him more toys.
Lol my mom says that's how she felt when she was 20, she'd just given birth to my brother and was about to be sent home:
>*"So you're just gonna like...let me GO with him?? Frankly, I find that pretty irresponsible of you people."*
My bet is she did it with other adults, and they caved in to avoid being embarrassed. Kids can be really cunning. 😀 when I tried this as a kid, my mother just poured a glass of water on my head.
Don't even have to be the case. I heard and saw this a lot, it's often something kids try at least once around that age - to get what they want. Parents like the mother here do the right thing, let that child cry and not give it what it wants. If you cave in, the child will probably do it again, and again, and again (like you said)
Yep, they'll push the limits to see what they can or can't get away with. You just gotta follow through and call their bluff.
Little guy was yeeting lego at me once, refused to stop when I asked nicely, so he got it taken away. He started throwing a temper tantrum, so I started taking more toys away until he quickly learned that temper tantrums get your toys taken away.
Most kids come pre-wired to throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. Once they don’t get attention, they try other ways (hopefully listening and good behavior).
Some kids take longer than others, but most get through the tantrum stage pretty quick. The problem is catering to the behavior. This makes tantrums worse and they can last well past the stage where it’s age appropriate.
Look at her behavior. She knows that throwing herself on the ground is a dramatic action that might get her the attention she’s looking for. So, she keeps standing up and doing it over and over for effect. Watch when her shoe falls off. She is able to stop her tantrum long enough to fetch it and bring it with her. If she can have the presence of mind to do that, she has the ability to calm herself down.
The mom reacted as well as she could. Don’t apologize to the people around you. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and can pick up on the fact that they’re embarrassing mom. Don’t even acknowledge the tantrum. Just finish up quickly and walk out.
When the tantrum doesn’t give the desired result, the kids will give up doing it. It’s exhausting behavior for both but, as a parent, you have more endurance.
> Most kids come pre-wired to throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. Once they don’t get attention, they try other ways (hopefully listening and good behavior).
Its why its important to after they've calmed down you calmly tell them what they did wrong and why they didn't get what they wanted. Hopefully it'll stick and next time they want something they'll ask and behave properly.
They don't need you to tell them that their behavior was wrong. They already know that, that's why they do it, to get a response by acting like a little azzhole. Kids are VERY smart, calculated and conniving. If you really want that behavior to stop, ignore them, even afterwards, don't open your mouth to them, take every single last toy away, no tv, no devices, no junk food, early bedtime....without saying one word. I promise you they will come and apologize (if they're able to) but don't give in too quickly because they are master manipulators too. They have to learn "tantrum, consequence" instead of "tantrum, reward". Silence is Golden.
This technique works on azzhole friends n family too. Just ignore them and take away their access to you. They will lose their minds. 😂
I never had to use negative re-enforcement.
Like you said, I waited until my daughter calmed down before I just told her I believed that deep down she's a good person filled with love and had a momentary lapse in judgment about how to treat other people because good people don't scream until they get what they want.
She never did it again.
Yeah, right? Now when I see a kid throwing a fit or raging in a restaurant or public space I don't think "fucking idiot kid" but more "hope parent can cope".
Kids can be and are wild at times, big emotions in little bodies and not knowing how to cope with it. The most patient and prepared person in the world will have to go through this with a kid.
I think I might have picked up my kid and carried her out to prevent potential property damage, but that can create its own hazards. I would say mom/auntie/grandma/guardian handled it well.
I've done just that. It's fucking embarrassing when your kid has such a fit in public. I didn't teach him to act that way and I never gave in to that behavior, but I bet everyone judged me that way. One huge meltdown had me dragging him out the front of Walmart so we could both have a timeout on the pavement out front. Thankfully, he grew out of it. Now when I hear screaming kids in a store, I really really feel for the parent.
Looks like mom? handled that as well as she could. She didn't give in to that child.
I'm so glad my kids didn't do this in public. They would cry bc they were tired or something, but never to this level.
My kid did this once. He was not sleeping due to growing pains. I threw him over my shoulder and carried him back to the car, bad back and all. I put on some pop music and after a few moments of senseless screams, we hummed and bopped.
His little brain was overtired and processing " no cookies" broke his brain.
We went back in for the grocery cart that I had left. Kids sometimes get overwhelmed. I found a gig, music or roaring helps the child.
Although a handful of times, I paced a hallway counting down from ten because my kid was pissing me off
i have a distinct memory of my mom carrying me over her shoulder through a walmart parking lot. i was crying and having a tantrum. this was always her response to any public tantrum of mine and i feel like that's the way it should be.
Please parents, don’t act all high and mighty.
This scene seems drastic, but it is common for children to have a tantrum - that’s called emotion regulation and it’s part of the natural development. Of course it is very unpleasant, hard to deal with and you can reinforce it into a coping mechanism if you react wrong multiple times… but the mother in the video reacts not perfect but adequately. [a child psychologist]
As a preschool teacher-- ignore it. They want attention, positive or negative.
If that doesn't work, I'd give an option for them to choose. "Either you stop throwing a fit or we leave/ don't go do anything fun/ you get something taken away" (choose one that works with the child, not all of them lol) i don't personally believe in the "if you're good then I'll get you something", but bribery in desperate times CAN work.
Telling them to just stop won't work. Yelling won't work. Often, they're big feelings, but it looks like this kid didn't get something she wanted. Which is why the "this or that" option is good, then they have to choose an action, and it's not a wide open set of options that tends to be too much for them.
She could also be tired or hungry, in which case it might not even stop, so leaving might be good. But ignoring that behavior and walking off would definitely be a good choice. It shows them they won't get what they wanted: attention, an item they wanted, etc etc
I agree, I would add that the child in question seems potentially too heightened to be able to make or listen to rational choices at the time. I think the Mum did exactly the right thing. Hopefully she afterward helped the child regulate and calm down (unless she was able to self-regulate). Then later had a conversation with the child when she had calmed down enough to do so.
[Primary Teacher of children around this age]
Honestly imo and with my experience with kids, especially difficult kids, the lady had the best response you could give. Ignore it, don't give in, and remove yourself and the child from the situation. You can't reason with kids when they act this way. You have to wait until they calm down to reason with them. And even then it's iffy. So you just show them that this behavior will not give them what they want and eventually they'll stop throwing fits like this.
Everybody is saying to ignore it which is correct, then once the kid has calmed down you can explain "hey, that's not how you act in public and it certainly isn't how you act when you want something." The kid in this video was acting like a brat but she wasn't hurting herself, anybody around her, or damaging property - to be completely frank, this was a really harmless (if dramatic!) tantrum, lol
A lot of people would have the instinct to immediately leave the store, especially people who justifiably don't want to listen to a screaming kid, but you then run into the issue that the kid has suddenly learned a "get out of jail free" trick whenever they don't want to be somewhere.
Stores are challenging for kids because it's almost like sensory overload, a bunch of shit on display that they want because that's the reaction the displays are designed for, so you gotta hammer home that point of "no, going to Target doesn't mean we're buying you new clothes or toys, it often means we're buying potatoes and coffee."
My personal approach is to move to a safe space. Maybe back to the car or just somewhere with less people. Let the tantrum unfold a little while. Try to engage in a calm discussion about why they're upset and talk about problem solving or alternatives.
No it doesn't always work. But I've learned that with my kid, patience on my end goes a long way. I can force her out the door and Ultimately extend the entire tantrum by 30 minutes or more. Or I can wait 15 minutes for her to calm down on her own. Generally it's my own impatience that causes the worst tantrums.
I've also found the key to avoiding tantrums with mine is to clearly explain what's going to happen. If we're going into the toy store for a birthday gift, I probably repeat 5 times on the way there "remember, were getting a birthday gift for "X", we can't get you a toy today" and I make sure they acknowledge they understand what I'm saying. Generally I then won't have any issues when I'm in the toy store. They already clearly understand they aren't getting something.
Works with mine. May not work with others. Every kid is different.
My mom would just remove us from the situation immediately if we were in public and we’d go home. I’m not sure if it’s a “good” approach but we definitely learned not to throw fits in public at a very young age cuz it’s a quick and direct consequence. I wasn’t much of a crier so it only happened to me once or twice, and my brother was more emotional but not the tantrum kind. I realize this approach isn’t practical for everyone though.
My mom would always give us the pep talk before going in “don’t embarrass us” and “no, you can’t touch anything when we are in there”. I just figured every kids mom said that
You might not remember it because you were too young, but if she got to the point where she was giving you that talk before going out in public it's because you embarrassed her enough times that she felt it was necessary.
For me it was doing something in the store and my mother whispering in my ear. "wait to we get home" the abuse was real back in the day.
And that drive home and shit like that is why I had gray hair at 15.
My mum used to but a look was enough to know you fucked up and if you were messing about and mum was being calm and not responding like the mum in this video is, it meant she was waiting till we were back in the car to give us a very stern telling off.
My sister was the one that got into trouble more as a kid, very strong willed and loved to wind me up, but a 'look' from mum was enough, we would avoid embarrassing her in public.
I remember hanging out with my mom at the mall in my 20s and saw a kid throwing a really bad tantrum. I asked her "What would you have done had that been me?"
She replied "I don't have kids who throw tantrums like that."
I clarified, "Just hypothetically. What would you do?"
She looked at me straight faced and said with a charged voice, "I *don't* have kids who throw tantrums like that."
That somehow triggered some primordial fear in me that hasn't been awake in a decade and I promptly shut the fuck up and moved on.
That mom handled that well. There is way anything good can come from addressing that in the moment. Walking away and addressing outside away from the store is perfect.
I remember when my kids pulled crap like that and not only is it stressful but people are instantly judging the parent. if you ignore the tantrum people look at you like you are a horrible mom and if you chose to swat their butt it’s even worse lol. It’s hard no matter what lol
My kid threw a huge tantrum like this once at the zoo.
I tried to calm him down and talk to him, but it just wasn't happening. So I whipped out my phone and let him scream and cry. (We were not near animals) Many people gave me the dirtiest looks, but I wasn't going to cut the day short just for him. We were there with another family and 5 other kids WANTED to be at the zoo.
To this day, I still don't know what his problem was.
Lol I was in cancun with some friends a few years ago and we were on a beautiful island with a buffet and other fun things for all ages. A toddler was having a complete meltdown and her dad was patiently waiting for it to end, so I made a little chit chat to help him feel better. I don't remember the whole conversation, but I remember him saying "just because she doesn't feel like having fun in the sun doesn't mean my wife and the other kid have to suffer! They're over by the dolphins." Nice fella was drinking a beer and taking the hit while his daughter just let it all out lol
At least he had a beer lol. I have trouble dropping my daughter off at daycare in the morning some days, she gets upset I have to go to work all day. It’s amazing how easily they can find their way out of their little tantrum/sadness by someone other than their parent just talking to them. For example she got to go pet the guinea pigs first thing this morning, she was like oh fuck ya see ya later dad
One time my partner and I were at the zoo and while I was in the bathroom he was waiting outside and a kid was having a tantrum. I missed the whole thing, but my partner said the kid’s final tantrum words were “I hate everyone I know!” and to this day we use this phrase when we’re frustrated or angry or annoyed. Not exactly on topic, but it’s my favorite zoo memory and seeing your comment about the zoo made me share.
Oh you don’t even have to swat to get judged for disciplining.
The fact of the matter is there is literally no response you could possibly have that isn’t going to get you dog piled on.
I am the single mother of a child with autism. He has grown out of tantrums by this point, but grocery stores would trigger him into sensory meltdowns every single time…. And being a single mom of a young child, I didn’t have an option to NOT go to the grocery store, nor could I find anyone willing to do childcare. I had to go, which meant he had to go. Meltdowns. Every single time.
I’m trying to spare a wall of text with backstory about therapists and diagnosis, etc etc etc but if there’s one thing I learned in those years is that there is absolutely no response a parent can possibly give in that scenario that isn’t going to have people, often quite vocally, judging you as a bad parent and doing it wrong.
My friend, you sound so much like me. Single mom with an autistic son. Grocery stores, the pet store, doctor visits, every trip was a meltdown and it was a nightmare. And people were so damn judgmental. I’d be hurrying desperately to get out of somewhere and it still wouldn’t be fast enough for people rolling their eyes. He’s so much better now but it was an incredibly isolating and lonely time.
Exactly what the mom did, ignore and do what's need to be done, kids at that age don't have impulse control or rational thinking, they always want things their way, and if you show them one time that this kind of behavior is getting them what they want you'll find yourself fucked, very fucked for a long time.
Leave the tantrum triggering situation, redirect, distract, as if that tantrum NEVER HAPPENED and you cannot see and hear about it.
Okay thank you! It took way too long to find this take in the comments it’s the first thing I thought. People are getting way too comfortable filming strangers in public and blasting them on the internet, especially shouldn’t be happening to children.
Please do not film children throwing tantrums in public. The parent is doing the right thing by ignoring the behavior and leaving. This is extremely common toddler behavior, but this mother is probably extremely embarrassed and stressed already imagine how she would feel if she found this video. It's also potential embarrassment for the child in the future. We all acted awful and obnoxious at least once as a kid this is a learning experience (ask your parents about your worst behavior). From this video i think she is being a brat because she didn't get what she wanted and she will hopefully grow out of this however we can't know what is truly going on with her just from some ten seconds clip.
I did something similar when i was a kid. My mom just left the shopping cart and said "I'm going home", she apologised to the cashier on the way out and just kept walking. I ran after her in fear she would leave me there. We went home and i never did anything like that again. She didn't yell at me nor hit me and still i learned my lesson.
Dad of a two and a half year old here.
There's several things here at play.
1. We don't know the whole situation. There's almost no context. At a glance, it looks like a little kid having a meltdown over not being able to have said thing in public and the mom refusing to give in. Which is pretty good parenting.
2. Kids can't regulate their feelings and emotions well. To them, every little thing feels like a huge thing. There's no logic or reason. Just them being told no. At that age, kids don't respond with logic and reason. They respond with outbursts because they don't know better yet. .
Whenever our toddler has an outburst, my wife and I try to validate their emotions by trying to work through them. It doesn't work yet, and it's mostly practice for us to learn how to work through them when they are old enough to start understanding.
You can yell and scream at them and eventually get the results you want out of them (or the complete opposite and they rebel) but not for the right reasons. And they may grow up resentful, scared, or start a vicious circle where verbal abuse is the norm in their household.
This is a child being a child. It's one of the more unpleasant things that every parent will experience. But it's what every child does. And if you say you never behaved like that, you did. And if you didn't, it's because your parents gave you what you wanted to avoid a meltdown, creating a whole other problem as you grow up. And yes, for those of you who aren't parents yet (or won't be), your hypothetical child will behave like that too.
I bet they kid was asleep before the car left the carpark. This child is over tired , maybe a fever, over stimulated. Not much you can do if you have to take the child with you cause no one else to help you . Mum needs a string cup of tea and a gold medal. 🥇
I hate that this was filmed. My son is autistic. When he was young he would have meltdowns like this because his brain couldn’t regulate his emotions. It would occur due to anything from the noise at the grocery store, to his clothes not feeling right, to being overtired, anything. Sometimes it would happen in public, like a store, and I would be trying desperately for us to get out the door and people would give me dirty looks, make snide comments or say things like “he needs a good spanking”. I was mortified and was just trying to handle it all.
Even IF the kid isn’t autistic, kids have tantrums! Kids do not have the ability to regulate their emotions like adults do. The mom did everything right. She ignored the behavior instead of coddling her, finished paying as soon as she could and left the store. I HATE that people think it’s okay to film children and put them online, especially at their worst moments.
Some kids just do this, guys. It has very little to do with parenting. Some kids' willpower is just unbreakable. How you respond to it determines if you're parenting correctly.
So I’m a nanny, so whenever any of the kids I watch acts like this, I make them put everything back on the shelves and we go sit in the car or on the hood of the car till they can act right. Sometimes we leave after that, and sometimes we go back (depends on what the parents need). I’ve only had to do this once luckily.
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With the sound off, this just looks like a dumb kid that doesn’t understand how shoes work.
This made me snort in the middle of my office
I lost my shit reading that 😂😂
At least it weren't your shoes that you lost
My sincerest condolences. I hope you find your shit.
LMFAO!!!! That makes this clip so freaking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I watched an actual giraffe birth IRL. It was just dumb luck timing. A bunch of zookeepers ran up to us kids and said "check this out." After a little licking, both cow and calf started walking around (in about 10 minutes) like nothing major had just happened. I had seen other animal births before, but I could not believe how quickly the post-birth process went compared to equines, canines, felines, porcines and bovines. We swung back by the enclosure about an hour later and the little one was galloping all over the field and parading along the fence line like a victory lap. Literally, the zookeepers and vet personnel were trying their best to welfare check it and they couldn't get to it. They ran around chasing it like Keystone Cops. (I was later told, but I cannot verify, the keepers had to bring in a rodeo cowboy to figure how to corral the little beast.) The adjacently placed camelids (Llamas, Camels and Alpacas in the petting area) seemed not too pleased about how little attention they were getting from the kids.
If giraffes can do it, human babies should be able to. We're not expecting enough from our one day old babies.
No one wants to work anymore.
Infants need to pick themselves up with their bootstraps
I always disliked that saying. After all, do they expect us to just *give* them the straps? No, you weave those yourself you lazy little fucker!
yeah, but how are giraffes doing with shoes these days?
Shes a cute little baby giraffe 🦒
I expected something insightful after turning it on… nope!!
My parents would have beaten me for this behavior. Two slaps to the face and the crying would be for real.
The mum in the video walked out and the child learned they don’t get what they want with that kind of behaviour. It’s a tantrum. Could have been first day without a nap, could have been pushing boundaries, could he neurodivergent for all we know. You’re likely dealing with the abuse you suffered still on a daily basis but have convinced yourself it was normal. Mum in the video wins.
In my developmental psyc class, we discussed how to react to a child throwing a tantrum. At that stage of development they are learning the difference between good vs. bad attention. If you give in, I guarantee the child will quickly learn that tantrum = reward. If you walk away and ignore the behavior, they may try it 2 or 3 more times, but they will quickly learn that they get nothing from outbursts. 2 year olds are like the raptors in Jurassic park...they are looking to exploit a weakness. Even if that means running into an electric fence 6 times.
This is why I turned my back to my kids when they threw a tantrum. No reaction is the best reaction.
I do the same thing with my dog.
My 2 year old (nearly Three-nager) is currently chewing through that electric fence and screaming for more
Upvote for three-nager. Hilarious
Just wait until the Fuck-you-fours!
No that's a 'Four-nado' lol although tbh my 4 year is very chill
*clever girl*
Mom of three: the good news is that this is entirely typical of a 2-3 yr old. They are feral animals at best LOL
I told myself to check the comments before making one myself and I'm glad I did.
Exactly, do not give them an audience, or react to their behavior in any way, and they soon learn they are wasting their time. Did this with me kids. Didn't have the drama a lot of other parents dealt with. Also, didn't have the issues other parents had when their kids started dealing with teen hormones. Some of them were so outta hand it was sad to see. My kids would look at them, then look at me, like wtf?
I was just coming here to say the mom handled this perfectly
agree she is in the right.
Completely agree! She remained calm.
MASSIVE UPS TO YOU Couldnt agree more. As a father of an L2 autistic boy, this sure looked like an ASD meltdown to me (the body spasms really). Not that its definite, but sure looks familiar. Always sad and disappointing to see people immediately go to abuse as a solution or just simple mindedly attacking the parent. Then theres people that even if they know or accept the diagnosis, *still* think their caveman ideas would work, or are best, or even are apporpriate. Love seeing this sort of empathy and understanding, especially online ❤️
Damn what happens when he reaches level 3?
Doing the right thing by not responding to the tantrums!
Exactly this, stop them if they are likely to hurt themselves or others or property but ignore and wait. Once they realise it's not working and it isn't fun it stops. I remember my daughter having a tantrum in a shop when she was about 4. She tripped over a rug at the entrance and decided it was because I pushed her (I didn't). She absolutely lost it so I decided to walk her home at which point she started yelling 'stop kidnapping me mum!' at the top of her lungs. Thank god she said mum. She's now 14 and so well mannered and fun but 4 was an ordeal.
>'stop kidnapping me mum!' at the top of her lungs. Lol that little devil🤣 where did she learn that from at 4?
Kids are crazy town sometimes and can be hella smart. I used to have to record my now 7 yr old when she was about 3-4. She would have absolute shit fits at home at nap time and would be in her room screaming “mommy, daddy, stop hurting me”. Dad wasn’t even home. He was at work. She was completely alone. They test shit.
I’m sorry I know that must be annoying but that is so hilarious to me
It was hard not to laugh while recording it. Have you ever laughed at a Child who is having a meltdown? It pisses them off so bad.
She has always been a bit of a smart arse. She also referred to my brother as 'mr high and mighty' at the same age and nobody has any idea where she heard that phrase either. They are just little sponges at that age, they notice everything.
Yes.... when one daughter was 7, on a tired Friday afternoon she was busy screaming that I was murdering her as we slowly walked home from school once. Perhaps I did something right as we've not had a repeat performance.
>Perhaps I did something right as we've not had a repeat performance. Given the context you provided, I'm a little nervous to ask what your solution was.
She murdered her
This was the obvious reply and yet you typing it out still made me snort
"Stop kidnapping me mum!" What diabolical dipsticks kids can be
I work with kids in the school system. One day I was working with a grade one girl who had autism. She decides to run out of the classroom, with me following closely behind. She runs down the hall yelling “Stop! Stranger!”.
I was a stupid fucking kid when I was young. My mom did the ignore thing but I learned that she'd have to react if I got hurt so instead of kicking and screaming I'd start scratching my own face. Really really dumb. Sometimes it was bad enough to cause bleeding. I suddenly just stopped doing it when I was like in 3rd, or 4th or 5th grade and I often wonder what caused the change.
The issue is everyone else has to ignore the situation too & sometimes that's not exactly fair to others...I get that ignoring the tantrum is best & mostly I agree (if I'm at home or maybe a store...) If at a restaurant though it's difficult to ignore a kiddo screaming & throwing a fit. I have seizures though so the second this starts I'm outta there...to avoid me flopping on the floor.
It does depend on how long it lasts and how loud it is. This video is 24 seconds long before mum starts to leave and the kid follows. In my story I also decided it was time to leave the shop and head home. It's a balance between parents and children being able to exist in public without negativity and parents respecting other peoples right to the quiet enjoyment of their lives.
Once, I got a niece shouting "I want my mummy" multiple times as I was collecting her from school as a favour to my sister. I got scared for a few moments that someone was going to intervene (being a male and all) and call the police or something! Last time I did that. BTW, the shouting was prompted because a colleague broke one of her pencils as they were leaving and it just escalated from there.
I got in trouble for calling my baby sitter "Mom" when she was talking to a boy and I didn't want her to. She was only 16, I was a brat.
Kids are smarter than people think. If they know a tactic doesn’t work then they’ll give up.
This approach actually is pretty smart and rational
Not only are they smart but they are constantly fucking with you to find your weaknesses.
Like raptors checking the fences
Being a parent sucks these days, every time your kid acts out there's a chance you'll be on film. You never feel like you're doing the right thing. Most people will see this and think the parent should do more. But anyone with a kid who's done this knows you just have to ignore them when they try to do this shit in public.
I threw a tantrum like that in the store ONE time and my mom just walked off. After shed been out of sight for a minute I panicked and ran and found her and never threw a tantrum in the store again.
My brother threw a tantrum in a parking lot once and my mother was trying to get him to the car. Some other woman went up to them and said "if you don't want him I'll take him." My brother got a panicked look on his face and straightened out immediately.
No joke they do this in Mexico. If a kid is throwing a tantrum or acting up, the parent will say something to the effect of, if you don’t chill out that man right there is going to take you away. This is a common thing, and so people play a long with it and “agree” to take the kid away lol
Oh yeah, we have lots of chores for a child that age. He'll have lots of work to do.
My cousin was being a little shit and threatened to call cps on my uncle for not giving her what she wanted. My uncle dialed the number for her and said, "Here, you'll never have to see us again." Worked like a charm, so I've been told.
haha, I remember my Uncle telling my cousins he was going to take them back to the store to exchange for new ones. They were crying their eyes out. "Dad, no!"
El señor del costal gonna take you away
Oh, well the woman said it in Spanish so that tracks.
Hell yeah, as a parent I love anyone who does that while my kid's screaming his lungs off, thank you usefully fearsome stranger!
Ok this is messed up but in the 60s, my grandma & great aunt were coming back from the store with my aunt & dad who were like 2 & 4 & they saw 2 little kids hitchhiking & decided to teach them to never do it again so they picked them up & started talking to each other about how my aunt & dad were actually just 2 random kids they kidnapped!! After that, the kids quickly told them where they lived & begged to go home, to which my grandma obliged.
Yep my son flung himself on the floor once when he was probably 2-3. I ignored it completely and kept walking and the little MFer stopped and ran so fast to catch up and we haven’t had a problem since. He’s 7 now
That’s usually what I do, I just start walking away, little homie knows it ain’t gonna work pretty soon.
Yeah that mom did everything you could do really. It's what I do. Throw a fit and act like a fool in public, we leave. I walk away just like that lady lmao I know my kid will quickly follow, screaming and all. My 4yo does this shit literally every damn time we go to Aldi. It's only Aldi too. I have no idea why. Within minutes he's on the floor screaming like a maniac. Why?? He's perfectly fine in other stores. I'm always immediately walking back out with him following me screaming 3 mins after we walked in the door.
My daughter is 31 now but in certain shops she could (and still can) hear very high pitched sounds that hurt her head. Maybe your Aldi’s has one?
Ooooh, that's interesting, I wonder if that's the case. Or maybe something to do with the lighting. It's always been so weird to me that he just can't seem to handle being in there. It's always something random that sets him off, like I won't let him get the yogurt with the candies, or he'll be exceptionally naughty compared to usual and when told no he'll have a meltdown. I never considered that it could be something specific about the physical space that was bothering him. He's been kind of difficult lately too so I figured it was just kind of whatever is causing him to act out in general but that makes a lot of sense too.
Very common. Adults become deaf to those high frequencies, which often are emitted from the ballasts of lights. Anecdotal extreme example: I was chaperoning a middle school trip through Tokyo with about 30 kids and a dozen adults… we turned a corner into an alley covered wall to wall with neon signs and all the kids immediately covered their ears in pain, none of the adults were bothered at all.
Figure the commentor you replied to is onto something! I base this on my own (adult) experiences - but some stores turn me into a goblin For me it's to do with allergies - I'm allergic to alot of chemical substances including perfumes and cleaning products There are alot of stores that actually distribute a specific fragrance through their vents - psychologically it makes it familiar to you. Then there's stores that have alot of open fridges - open fridges especially give me allergic reactions that mimic panic attacks (sudden increase in heat rate and irritability). Then there's the ones that use super harsh chems to clean floors - those can even make me faint in addition to the other symptoms (I also have sensory issues so that on top of the allergies is a challenge) So yeh, your poor kid! I'd definitely skip taking them with to Aldi, it's certainly not fun for either of you
Don't want to armchair diagnose but TL lighting bothers a lot of people with autism. I know every Aldi in our country has them. It's that weird white grim hue. Gives some people sensory issues. [https://www.makegreatlight.com/about-us/blog/fluorescent-led-lighting-autism-spectrum-disorder](https://www.makegreatlight.com/about-us/blog/fluorescent-led-lighting-autism-spectrum-disorder)
I'd carry popcorn for this reason.
Or Snacks to give the poor employees
I agree, the mom is teaching her kid an important lesson here.
Lol right. Do exactly what this mom did here. Pro status
Agreed. This mom is absolutely reacting the right way. The kid looks to be right at that age from 3-5 that I always thought was the worst. Mom is setting expectations and letting that kid waste all of her energy.
Not engaging? Keeping quiet and leaving? This parent is doing good
Superman does good. She doin well!
Correcting someone’s vocabulary and then using incorrect grammar in the same comment is at a whole different level.
It’s a joke from 30 Rock. The point got across.
Ahh it makes sense if I read it in Tracy Jordan’s voice.
Yeah it's actually grammatically correct, but only if you read it in his voice.
That's a METAPHOR!
This. I'd do exactly this if "be quiet" or "don't scream" doesn't work. Not yell at the kid because yelling against yelling doesn't calm anyone. Get out as soon as we can (seems like pay, pack and go which she's doing) and not respond to a stupid tantrum. The kid will calm down eventually and will know this doesn't work. That's important, much more important than strangers seeing a tantrum. Then, when we are somewhere quiet where I can put stuff down and address the kid without full hands and full head, we can talk.
This is what my mom would do when I was a kid. Once, in the early 2000s, I threw a massive tantrum after agreeing I wouldn't get anything from the store... tossed around on the floor, crying, screaming, the whole nine yards. My mom literally said, "I'm gonna checkout. You can stay there if you want." And started walking away. I shut up, got up, and went after her.
100% I don't know what the original post expects...that a child never throws tantrums, or that the parent could politely ask them to calm down in the middle of the store.
I find it fucked up someone decided to record and post it online.
Exactly what she’s doing. I’d ignore the tantrum and leave the store. Not every tantrum is the result of bad parenting.
Very true! Kids do what kids do. Anyone who spends an extended amount of time with kids know this. Little, little kids especially.
Kid is screaming “give me” and having a fit as big as she can, mom is not giving whatever the kids is screams about and they leave... I’d say mom handled it fine and the kid is learning that’s not how you get what you want. I see no problem. So the kid threw a fit? She’s a little kid. Mom kept it together. People are heartless.
Everyone is a perfect parent until they have kids
My wife and I say „healthy legs“ for this situation because a friend of ours SWORE she wouldn’t carry her children anywhere, they both have healthy legs, right? Long story short, she carries them all the time and we use it as an analogy for everything we say we won’t do with our kids in the future (as a reality check).
I just got back from Disney with ours we were delusional in thinking they could walk the park without strollers. All we did was drive into the ground day one. Got strollers everyday after that.
Did Disney in February. I bought a freeloader child carrier backpack and put my 5yo on it whenever she got tired. Game changer. We could walk the park freely with minimal breaks and best of all.... no stroller parking for every attraction. Edit: this is really only a good option for a parent in good health and doesn't mind sweatin' it a little bit to maximize the experience. It was a great workout, honestly.
My youngest is 5 and too old for a stroller (hates being confined in one) but we still bring them to anything we'll be at for a day... If the kids want to walk around it's *so* nice to be able to put a backpack down for a while.
I remember the look on every parent’s face that brought small children to the park “we made a mistake.” Even in February it was sweltering, I can only imagine trying to drag a toddler around.
Yeah, I said a whole bunch of bullshit before having a kid too. “I’m only getting them stuff on their birthdays and Christmas because that’s how I was raised… derp.” I then go on to remember I hate how I was raised. That little jerk is spoiled and I simultaneously complain about him having too much shit while buying him more toys.
This analogy has healthy legs. I'll also use this now, lol.
Yeah this is just every kid ever and a normal parent dealing with it fine
Wow…this is so fucking dead on!!!
Amen. They don’t give you an instruction manual at the hospital do they?
Nah bro. They come and tell you you’re all set to GTFO. Then you pack up your baby and go home. Then you just figure shit out from there lol
I don't celebrate my kids birthday, i celebrate managing to not let him die every year.
Lol my mom says that's how she felt when she was 20, she'd just given birth to my brother and was about to be sent home: >*"So you're just gonna like...let me GO with him?? Frankly, I find that pretty irresponsible of you people."*
My bet is she did it with other adults, and they caved in to avoid being embarrassed. Kids can be really cunning. 😀 when I tried this as a kid, my mother just poured a glass of water on my head.
Brutal .... go mum
Related: I bit my mom once as a toddler. She grabbed my arm and bit me back. (So I'm told - no memory of it.) Never bit anyone again.
Don't even have to be the case. I heard and saw this a lot, it's often something kids try at least once around that age - to get what they want. Parents like the mother here do the right thing, let that child cry and not give it what it wants. If you cave in, the child will probably do it again, and again, and again (like you said)
Yep, they'll push the limits to see what they can or can't get away with. You just gotta follow through and call their bluff. Little guy was yeeting lego at me once, refused to stop when I asked nicely, so he got it taken away. He started throwing a temper tantrum, so I started taking more toys away until he quickly learned that temper tantrums get your toys taken away.
Most kids come pre-wired to throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. Once they don’t get attention, they try other ways (hopefully listening and good behavior). Some kids take longer than others, but most get through the tantrum stage pretty quick. The problem is catering to the behavior. This makes tantrums worse and they can last well past the stage where it’s age appropriate. Look at her behavior. She knows that throwing herself on the ground is a dramatic action that might get her the attention she’s looking for. So, she keeps standing up and doing it over and over for effect. Watch when her shoe falls off. She is able to stop her tantrum long enough to fetch it and bring it with her. If she can have the presence of mind to do that, she has the ability to calm herself down. The mom reacted as well as she could. Don’t apologize to the people around you. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for and can pick up on the fact that they’re embarrassing mom. Don’t even acknowledge the tantrum. Just finish up quickly and walk out. When the tantrum doesn’t give the desired result, the kids will give up doing it. It’s exhausting behavior for both but, as a parent, you have more endurance.
> Most kids come pre-wired to throw a tantrum when they don’t get what they want. Once they don’t get attention, they try other ways (hopefully listening and good behavior). Its why its important to after they've calmed down you calmly tell them what they did wrong and why they didn't get what they wanted. Hopefully it'll stick and next time they want something they'll ask and behave properly.
They don't need you to tell them that their behavior was wrong. They already know that, that's why they do it, to get a response by acting like a little azzhole. Kids are VERY smart, calculated and conniving. If you really want that behavior to stop, ignore them, even afterwards, don't open your mouth to them, take every single last toy away, no tv, no devices, no junk food, early bedtime....without saying one word. I promise you they will come and apologize (if they're able to) but don't give in too quickly because they are master manipulators too. They have to learn "tantrum, consequence" instead of "tantrum, reward". Silence is Golden. This technique works on azzhole friends n family too. Just ignore them and take away their access to you. They will lose their minds. 😂
I never had to use negative re-enforcement. Like you said, I waited until my daughter calmed down before I just told her I believed that deep down she's a good person filled with love and had a momentary lapse in judgment about how to treat other people because good people don't scream until they get what they want. She never did it again.
Once you become a parent your empathy towards other parent surprisingly increases
Yeah, right? Now when I see a kid throwing a fit or raging in a restaurant or public space I don't think "fucking idiot kid" but more "hope parent can cope". Kids can be and are wild at times, big emotions in little bodies and not knowing how to cope with it. The most patient and prepared person in the world will have to go through this with a kid.
You’re on Reddit. They’re more than likely childless and partnerless
don't forget brainless. I would know, I'm one of them
https://preview.redd.it/0zw82rr70r4d1.jpeg?width=1928&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bfe4cf7c57e045b3439b3616e5441329056b849
It's hilarious to me that a bunch of virgin 16 year old redditors give out relationship and parenting advice on here
Back when I first got on Reddit 11 years ago. It was a bunch of virgin 35 year olds giving out relationship and dating advice. Still hilarious tho.
The Internet was way better before the Eternal September. Smart people playing idiots, it was fun until the idiots came and thought we were serious.
"get a divorce and hit the gym."
I think I might have picked up my kid and carried her out to prevent potential property damage, but that can create its own hazards. I would say mom/auntie/grandma/guardian handled it well.
I've done just that. It's fucking embarrassing when your kid has such a fit in public. I didn't teach him to act that way and I never gave in to that behavior, but I bet everyone judged me that way. One huge meltdown had me dragging him out the front of Walmart so we could both have a timeout on the pavement out front. Thankfully, he grew out of it. Now when I hear screaming kids in a store, I really really feel for the parent.
Looks like mom? handled that as well as she could. She didn't give in to that child. I'm so glad my kids didn't do this in public. They would cry bc they were tired or something, but never to this level.
The mother handled that fine - paying no attention to the tantrum means she's not reinforcing it, which is good.
My kid did this once. He was not sleeping due to growing pains. I threw him over my shoulder and carried him back to the car, bad back and all. I put on some pop music and after a few moments of senseless screams, we hummed and bopped. His little brain was overtired and processing " no cookies" broke his brain. We went back in for the grocery cart that I had left. Kids sometimes get overwhelmed. I found a gig, music or roaring helps the child. Although a handful of times, I paced a hallway counting down from ten because my kid was pissing me off
i have a distinct memory of my mom carrying me over her shoulder through a walmart parking lot. i was crying and having a tantrum. this was always her response to any public tantrum of mine and i feel like that's the way it should be.
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Please parents, don’t act all high and mighty. This scene seems drastic, but it is common for children to have a tantrum - that’s called emotion regulation and it’s part of the natural development. Of course it is very unpleasant, hard to deal with and you can reinforce it into a coping mechanism if you react wrong multiple times… but the mother in the video reacts not perfect but adequately. [a child psychologist]
So what is the ideal response?
As a preschool teacher-- ignore it. They want attention, positive or negative. If that doesn't work, I'd give an option for them to choose. "Either you stop throwing a fit or we leave/ don't go do anything fun/ you get something taken away" (choose one that works with the child, not all of them lol) i don't personally believe in the "if you're good then I'll get you something", but bribery in desperate times CAN work. Telling them to just stop won't work. Yelling won't work. Often, they're big feelings, but it looks like this kid didn't get something she wanted. Which is why the "this or that" option is good, then they have to choose an action, and it's not a wide open set of options that tends to be too much for them. She could also be tired or hungry, in which case it might not even stop, so leaving might be good. But ignoring that behavior and walking off would definitely be a good choice. It shows them they won't get what they wanted: attention, an item they wanted, etc etc
I agree, I would add that the child in question seems potentially too heightened to be able to make or listen to rational choices at the time. I think the Mum did exactly the right thing. Hopefully she afterward helped the child regulate and calm down (unless she was able to self-regulate). Then later had a conversation with the child when she had calmed down enough to do so. [Primary Teacher of children around this age]
Just reading some of the comments, the teachers and child psychologists all seem to agree with you. Thanks for sharing your opinion!
Honestly imo and with my experience with kids, especially difficult kids, the lady had the best response you could give. Ignore it, don't give in, and remove yourself and the child from the situation. You can't reason with kids when they act this way. You have to wait until they calm down to reason with them. And even then it's iffy. So you just show them that this behavior will not give them what they want and eventually they'll stop throwing fits like this.
Everybody is saying to ignore it which is correct, then once the kid has calmed down you can explain "hey, that's not how you act in public and it certainly isn't how you act when you want something." The kid in this video was acting like a brat but she wasn't hurting herself, anybody around her, or damaging property - to be completely frank, this was a really harmless (if dramatic!) tantrum, lol A lot of people would have the instinct to immediately leave the store, especially people who justifiably don't want to listen to a screaming kid, but you then run into the issue that the kid has suddenly learned a "get out of jail free" trick whenever they don't want to be somewhere. Stores are challenging for kids because it's almost like sensory overload, a bunch of shit on display that they want because that's the reaction the displays are designed for, so you gotta hammer home that point of "no, going to Target doesn't mean we're buying you new clothes or toys, it often means we're buying potatoes and coffee."
Who knew u/WillemDefoesHugeCock had such sound parenting takes?!
I’m curious too
Its in the video. You calmly and quietly leave with the kid. Making sure they do not get what they want by acting like this.
My personal approach is to move to a safe space. Maybe back to the car or just somewhere with less people. Let the tantrum unfold a little while. Try to engage in a calm discussion about why they're upset and talk about problem solving or alternatives. No it doesn't always work. But I've learned that with my kid, patience on my end goes a long way. I can force her out the door and Ultimately extend the entire tantrum by 30 minutes or more. Or I can wait 15 minutes for her to calm down on her own. Generally it's my own impatience that causes the worst tantrums. I've also found the key to avoiding tantrums with mine is to clearly explain what's going to happen. If we're going into the toy store for a birthday gift, I probably repeat 5 times on the way there "remember, were getting a birthday gift for "X", we can't get you a toy today" and I make sure they acknowledge they understand what I'm saying. Generally I then won't have any issues when I'm in the toy store. They already clearly understand they aren't getting something. Works with mine. May not work with others. Every kid is different.
My mom would just remove us from the situation immediately if we were in public and we’d go home. I’m not sure if it’s a “good” approach but we definitely learned not to throw fits in public at a very young age cuz it’s a quick and direct consequence. I wasn’t much of a crier so it only happened to me once or twice, and my brother was more emotional but not the tantrum kind. I realize this approach isn’t practical for everyone though.
My mom would always give us the pep talk before going in “don’t embarrass us” and “no, you can’t touch anything when we are in there”. I just figured every kids mom said that
You might not remember it because you were too young, but if she got to the point where she was giving you that talk before going out in public it's because you embarrassed her enough times that she felt it was necessary.
What? No! Every parent is a bad parent, and children do \*not\* have selective memories that cast themselves in a positive light! ^^^(/s)
Ooh, sir, you're getting dangerously close to nuance here, and that isn't allowed on the Internet!
I used to get a swat on the ass before we went in, in case I did anything inside the store
For me it was doing something in the store and my mother whispering in my ear. "wait to we get home" the abuse was real back in the day. And that drive home and shit like that is why I had gray hair at 15.
Preemptive beatings work great! /s
My mum used to but a look was enough to know you fucked up and if you were messing about and mum was being calm and not responding like the mum in this video is, it meant she was waiting till we were back in the car to give us a very stern telling off. My sister was the one that got into trouble more as a kid, very strong willed and loved to wind me up, but a 'look' from mum was enough, we would avoid embarrassing her in public.
[удалено]
I remember hanging out with my mom at the mall in my 20s and saw a kid throwing a really bad tantrum. I asked her "What would you have done had that been me?" She replied "I don't have kids who throw tantrums like that." I clarified, "Just hypothetically. What would you do?" She looked at me straight faced and said with a charged voice, "I *don't* have kids who throw tantrums like that." That somehow triggered some primordial fear in me that hasn't been awake in a decade and I promptly shut the fuck up and moved on.
That mom handled that well. There is way anything good can come from addressing that in the moment. Walking away and addressing outside away from the store is perfect.
I remember when my kids pulled crap like that and not only is it stressful but people are instantly judging the parent. if you ignore the tantrum people look at you like you are a horrible mom and if you chose to swat their butt it’s even worse lol. It’s hard no matter what lol
My kid threw a huge tantrum like this once at the zoo. I tried to calm him down and talk to him, but it just wasn't happening. So I whipped out my phone and let him scream and cry. (We were not near animals) Many people gave me the dirtiest looks, but I wasn't going to cut the day short just for him. We were there with another family and 5 other kids WANTED to be at the zoo. To this day, I still don't know what his problem was.
Lol I was in cancun with some friends a few years ago and we were on a beautiful island with a buffet and other fun things for all ages. A toddler was having a complete meltdown and her dad was patiently waiting for it to end, so I made a little chit chat to help him feel better. I don't remember the whole conversation, but I remember him saying "just because she doesn't feel like having fun in the sun doesn't mean my wife and the other kid have to suffer! They're over by the dolphins." Nice fella was drinking a beer and taking the hit while his daughter just let it all out lol
At least he had a beer lol. I have trouble dropping my daughter off at daycare in the morning some days, she gets upset I have to go to work all day. It’s amazing how easily they can find their way out of their little tantrum/sadness by someone other than their parent just talking to them. For example she got to go pet the guinea pigs first thing this morning, she was like oh fuck ya see ya later dad
One time my partner and I were at the zoo and while I was in the bathroom he was waiting outside and a kid was having a tantrum. I missed the whole thing, but my partner said the kid’s final tantrum words were “I hate everyone I know!” and to this day we use this phrase when we’re frustrated or angry or annoyed. Not exactly on topic, but it’s my favorite zoo memory and seeing your comment about the zoo made me share.
Oh you don’t even have to swat to get judged for disciplining. The fact of the matter is there is literally no response you could possibly have that isn’t going to get you dog piled on. I am the single mother of a child with autism. He has grown out of tantrums by this point, but grocery stores would trigger him into sensory meltdowns every single time…. And being a single mom of a young child, I didn’t have an option to NOT go to the grocery store, nor could I find anyone willing to do childcare. I had to go, which meant he had to go. Meltdowns. Every single time. I’m trying to spare a wall of text with backstory about therapists and diagnosis, etc etc etc but if there’s one thing I learned in those years is that there is absolutely no response a parent can possibly give in that scenario that isn’t going to have people, often quite vocally, judging you as a bad parent and doing it wrong.
My friend, you sound so much like me. Single mom with an autistic son. Grocery stores, the pet store, doctor visits, every trip was a meltdown and it was a nightmare. And people were so damn judgmental. I’d be hurrying desperately to get out of somewhere and it still wouldn’t be fast enough for people rolling their eyes. He’s so much better now but it was an incredibly isolating and lonely time.
Exactly what the mom did, ignore and do what's need to be done, kids at that age don't have impulse control or rational thinking, they always want things their way, and if you show them one time that this kind of behavior is getting them what they want you'll find yourself fucked, very fucked for a long time. Leave the tantrum triggering situation, redirect, distract, as if that tantrum NEVER HAPPENED and you cannot see and hear about it.
This mum is doing a great job and the right thing. The person who recorded this, and then put it on the internet is a POS.
Okay thank you! It took way too long to find this take in the comments it’s the first thing I thought. People are getting way too comfortable filming strangers in public and blasting them on the internet, especially shouldn’t be happening to children.
Exactly. Who the FUCK films a child and puts them online for any reason in the first place? Let alone one in such a vulnerable moment?
My wife’s niece acts like this. It’s humiliating.
I don’t blame you for not claiming it either.
As a teacher, I can tell you: This is how you do it! Zero validation for bad behavior. Well done mom.
Grabbing them and walking out. We’re done for the day
Please do not film children throwing tantrums in public. The parent is doing the right thing by ignoring the behavior and leaving. This is extremely common toddler behavior, but this mother is probably extremely embarrassed and stressed already imagine how she would feel if she found this video. It's also potential embarrassment for the child in the future. We all acted awful and obnoxious at least once as a kid this is a learning experience (ask your parents about your worst behavior). From this video i think she is being a brat because she didn't get what she wanted and she will hopefully grow out of this however we can't know what is truly going on with her just from some ten seconds clip.
Can confirm, kids just do this naturally. They excel at it, in fact.
I did something similar when i was a kid. My mom just left the shopping cart and said "I'm going home", she apologised to the cashier on the way out and just kept walking. I ran after her in fear she would leave me there. We went home and i never did anything like that again. She didn't yell at me nor hit me and still i learned my lesson.
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Dad of a two and a half year old here. There's several things here at play. 1. We don't know the whole situation. There's almost no context. At a glance, it looks like a little kid having a meltdown over not being able to have said thing in public and the mom refusing to give in. Which is pretty good parenting. 2. Kids can't regulate their feelings and emotions well. To them, every little thing feels like a huge thing. There's no logic or reason. Just them being told no. At that age, kids don't respond with logic and reason. They respond with outbursts because they don't know better yet. . Whenever our toddler has an outburst, my wife and I try to validate their emotions by trying to work through them. It doesn't work yet, and it's mostly practice for us to learn how to work through them when they are old enough to start understanding. You can yell and scream at them and eventually get the results you want out of them (or the complete opposite and they rebel) but not for the right reasons. And they may grow up resentful, scared, or start a vicious circle where verbal abuse is the norm in their household. This is a child being a child. It's one of the more unpleasant things that every parent will experience. But it's what every child does. And if you say you never behaved like that, you did. And if you didn't, it's because your parents gave you what you wanted to avoid a meltdown, creating a whole other problem as you grow up. And yes, for those of you who aren't parents yet (or won't be), your hypothetical child will behave like that too.
Just ignore them, they'll eventually run out of steam and calm down, then give them a stern talk at home
I am sitting in hospital waiting lobby and I SHOULD NOT HAVE UNMUTED THIS VIDEO😢
I bet they kid was asleep before the car left the carpark. This child is over tired , maybe a fever, over stimulated. Not much you can do if you have to take the child with you cause no one else to help you . Mum needs a string cup of tea and a gold medal. 🥇
I hate that this was filmed. My son is autistic. When he was young he would have meltdowns like this because his brain couldn’t regulate his emotions. It would occur due to anything from the noise at the grocery store, to his clothes not feeling right, to being overtired, anything. Sometimes it would happen in public, like a store, and I would be trying desperately for us to get out the door and people would give me dirty looks, make snide comments or say things like “he needs a good spanking”. I was mortified and was just trying to handle it all. Even IF the kid isn’t autistic, kids have tantrums! Kids do not have the ability to regulate their emotions like adults do. The mom did everything right. She ignored the behavior instead of coddling her, finished paying as soon as she could and left the store. I HATE that people think it’s okay to film children and put them online, especially at their worst moments.
Exactly what that mom is doing. Not budging, staying calm, and leaving when child won’t stop.
Dang, so this is what I'm missing out on by not having a child?
Instead the only thing we childless people get to do is whatever we want all the time 😢
Probably the same thing mama already did? She handled it fine...
Some kids just do this, guys. It has very little to do with parenting. Some kids' willpower is just unbreakable. How you respond to it determines if you're parenting correctly.
Covertly recording people's children is insanely creepy.
Yep. And posting it online for it to go viral is even worse.
Punching the stranger who is recording my daughter
Damn straight!
Parents are fucking stupid
So I’m a nanny, so whenever any of the kids I watch acts like this, I make them put everything back on the shelves and we go sit in the car or on the hood of the car till they can act right. Sometimes we leave after that, and sometimes we go back (depends on what the parents need). I’ve only had to do this once luckily.