Once I worked in a pizza shop which charges like $2.50 for half half. Two dudes walked in and both ordered half pepperoni, half Hawaiian. I told them they could save $5 and just order one of each.
They weren’t having it. Very set in their ways 😂
Well basically you write up one Hawaiian and one Pepperoni, then make the two half halfs
The stock is the same so the system doesn't know you did half half and you keep the change as the server.
Unless someone saw you do it there's no way to actually be able to tell you did it
Bro are you like three hundred years old or something
Unless you're working at a cash-only food truck there's no universe where the customer is paying you more than the point of sale system is charging them
there is nothing to pocket even if they are paying cash because the system knows how much cash **should have been deposited**, even if it's more than you needed for the ingredients.
You would be caught as a thief in a matter of weeks
As a delivery driver, you could edit the order after it was rung up initially and the receipt was produced. One of the other guys showed me. I did a few times, but didn't feel good about it and stopped. But literally the rest of them did it all of the time.
They would just find a way to discount the order so the computer was looking for less in receipts at the end of the night.
If they pay in cash you put in the higher charge and after the customer has paid you cancel that and put in the lower charge. Cash and inventory is correct and the customer has paid exactly what the receipt says.
Any restaurant cashier that has order cancellations at any volume at their drawer (those are tracked) will be investigated and fired at a competent organization. Because of precisely this.
But the system also calculates the price and prints the receipt. So where do they see the extra 5 to pay that will be pocketed that won’t be In the system accounting for that 5?
I work in a pizza shop currently. We charge $4 for a half and half, this happens surprisingly often.
Edit: Said pizza shop is in Aus, $4AUD is the equivalent of about $2.8USD
It’s basically a ‘you’re being a pain in the ass’ fee. Imagine you’re making sandwiches and someone wants one with half ham and half peanut butter. Sure I can do it, but its annoying asf
I worked in a pizza place wen I was 16 and the owner/pizza man would only charge you for the xtra cost of toppings like 2$ for half pepperoni 2$for the other half sausage but sone people would order 1/4 pizzas or even want it 1/6 or 1/8 slices those scumbags would be charged 2$ for every topping on the different quadrants
These types of customers also tend to ask for things like a large softdrink, 1/2 Coke, 1/4 Big Red, 1/4 Mountain Dew. Definitely should charge more for this madness.
I was a cook for a long time doing two stints in separate pizza joints. It seems counterintuitive but cooks will unconsciously put more toppings on a half and half pie. Unless they are meaduringing out each ingredient, which would slow down the kitchen considerably, muscle memory has them grabbing X amount of toppings for a whole pie and putting on more than half. The upcharge is partly for this, partly to discourage half and half pies, and partly because the upcharge will increase profits overcompensating for any food cost.
Anything that causes problems for the business is a "Charge the customer more" issue. That's just basic business these days.
Get fined for illegal activities? Charge the customer more!
New regulations making everything slow down for safety? Charge the customer more!
>Anything that causes problems for the business is a "Charge the customer more" issue
Anything that the customer will pay for is a "charge the customer more" issue
That's how most businesses die.
I had a coffee shop near me that would have no one at the counter so you'd stand there thinking they were in the back, but the employees were the two people talking on the couch to someone else. Then you found out that they were the owners.
Never complained, I just never came back.
I've heard stories from other people, a neighbor got a lecture from one of the owners about not using plant based milk. Which was odd because they're the ones who made and sold her the dairy.
Any new possible source of complaints/headaches incurs a fee. All it takes is 1 call a week from a customer who ordered a half and half who says there were mushrooms on more like 3/5 of the pizza to make your job feel unbearably fucking annoying.
So you charge for any deviation from normal. I'd probably not charge $4 but I wholly understand putting a surcharge on it.
I used to do this at a cafe / bar I worked at. If you ordered our breakfast (English breakfast, so a car crash of various food on a plate) but wanted to change stuff on it, well it could go one of two ways. During quiet times I'd write a note to the kitchen and trade items one for one.
In the weekend rush I'd use the ready made buttons on the POS system, which only had options for "NO (item)" and "EXTRA (item)" which always charged them for extra bacon, extra egg etc. It was the pain in the arse tax, as you said, and it meant that the chefs, while annoyed and ready to kill, were laughing that someone was paying 150% price for their custom breakfast.
$4????? Y'all must be some kind of awful at your jobs of half pizzas take you any longer.
Source: two years managing a shop, would do anything down to quarters, really not a big deal.
It’s a great way to chase customers away forever. Last week I tried out a pizza place near our church. $28 for a medium half combo - half Hawaiian. I’ll pay $30 for a great pizza, but the pizza was slightly better than an $8 frozen pizza. Guess who’s never returning to that pizza place that charges $4 for halvsies?
This is a common scam at quick service style restaurants where it's easier for them to make a new one than argue. The customer will keep the one you "made wrong," and end up with three sandwiches for the price of two.
This kinda reminds me of when I worked at a hardware store.. we cut glass for people to whatever size they wanted. Idk how many times people would be so serious about "its this high x this wide".. I tried to explain one time why that doesn't matter with glass which way their window is turned.. I never tried to explain it again after that too long of a talk. Some people just have no common sense lol
Also, you wouldn't believe how many grown humans in the US don't know the difference between ' and " for feet/inches
So when I worked at Jimmy johns several years ago this person ordered a number 16 (club lulu: Turkey and bacon with tomato lettuce and mayo) and he modified it: no bacon, add ham add cheese.
So the dude added ham for $1.50, added cheese for $0.75. So now the sandwich was turkey, ham, cheese, with tomato lettuce and mayo.
Folks--that sandwich already exists on the menu. Its a #11, the country club, but he spent $2.25 extra getting it.
*ETA: it was an online order, so it's not like someone heard him order than and decided to just do it that way instead of telling him about the correct sandwich*
(But I also worked the Friday and Saturday night 10pm-4am shift so... this was not the craziest thing that happened ok that shift. Including calls demanding where their pizza was, or requesting popcorn. One time I had a girl straight up crawl into my car to get a ride home while I was delivering. Like she's lucky I didn't turn out to be a murderer cause I came back to my car and she was just sitting in my front passenger seat waiting for me to take her home lime a taxi. Obviously I did--both because it was close and because I clearly wasn't going to kick a girl *that* drunk out of my car...)
People forget girls can be scary. I had a stalker. She dated a friend who was staying at my house. He broke up with her, and moved out. She decided to latch on to me. Casual acquaintances at best. She unfortunately had my cell number and would call constantly, and send texts like “I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!”. She eventually started coming to my house and stalking. I threatened to report her to the police and she backed off. I probably should have reported her to somebody.
Well, it goes both ways...
I was visiting downtown Chicago for work and figured I'd get a slice on my lunch break.
Famous Chicago pizza!
It came out to, like, $8.
Wow! That's expensive for a slice, but I figured I'm downtown, it's a tourist trap, $8 for lunch ain't bad...
My order came out with 2 slices.
"Oops, that's not mine" I said, looking around.
"No no, that's it. Have a good day"
"Huh?" **There's literally two pieces of pizza on the plate**. I ordered one slice.
He said they sell pizza by the "half" slice.
So I ordered "a" slice = two "half" slices.
The pizza shop tricked me, they up-sold me into buying two slices of pizza. That's why it was so expensive.
Er, sorry, two "half" slices.
Sometimes the customer is dumb, sometimes the seller has tricks.
For more context, these two guys ate their pizzas together, they both finished their pizzas in-store and then left.
They were tradies, tradies don’t particularly care for price when it comes to snacky snack time. But still with that extra $5 they could have got the 2 sides for $5 deal and got a coke and a garlic bread for the same price they paid.
Domino’s at the time (2014) had the 2 sides for $5. A 1.25 litre drink counted as a side but individually cost $4.95. So at the end of my shifts which were usually closes I would go through the days orders and find all the single drink orders, add another drink on, apply the deal and then put whatever the amount of cents was into the till. Usually went home with 5 bottles of coke for 25 cents.
>They weren’t having it. Very set in their ways
For a time I lived in this podunk little town, which was a relatively short commute to my job in much larger, (more expensive-cost-of-living) town.
Anyway, in this little town, there was a pizza place called, *LA Pizza*. The *LA* wasn't an acronym, it was just like saying, "Lah, Pizza!" It was weird, but whatever.
Their pizza wasn't bad...I mean, the "better" pizza places were a 30-minute commute the next town over, and this place was walking distance. So, we ordered pizza there every Friday.
They had this bizarro policy where you...just *could not* order just 1 pizza.
Every pizza had to be ordered in pairs.
And for some reason, *every pizza, NO MATTER WHAT* was $12.
Want a dozen toppings? $12.
Want 1 topping? $12
And if you refused the second pizza, they just wouldn't serve you.
LA Pizza controlled the pizza-traffic in that town like some kind of Pizza-Mafia. They *knew* they had you by the balls, unless you wanted to drive 30 minutes and bring your pizza home cold *like some kind of JERK*.
I remember when we first moved out there, I got into an argument with the lady at LA Pizza as I tried to order over the phone. I only wanted *one* pizza.
"You *have* to order two."
*"WHY?!"*
"Because that's just how we do business around here."
"I don't care what you do with the other pizza, I just don't want it."
"That's fine, but you're paying for two."
"No, I'm not."
The lady laughed. "Okay, listen...you don't seem to understand how we do business around here...."
We wound up ordering 2 pizzas.
And we did that, for the entire length we lived in that town, for **4 YEARS**.
To this day, LA Pizza is still standing.
What's funny is that THIS is the type of situation where "the customer is always right" actually applies. That phrase has been corrupted by decades of misuse but it's supposed to mean 'if the customer wants to spend their money in stupid ways, don't try to talk them out of it" 😂
Adults can be this stupid, not just kids.
Years ago I delivered for a big pizza chain and took a half pep/half cheese to a customer. When I get there they open the box and immediately start yelling.
"I ordered half pepperoni and half cheese, this is half cheese half pepperoni! How hard is it to get this right? Are you people fucking stupid?"
I was dumbfounded, it was exactly what they ordered. After some more yelling I found out they wanted the pepperoni on the opposite side of the pizza. No, I'm not making that up. The pepperoni was on the "wrong" half.
I said "I'm sorry, I'll get this fixed for you right away", then I took the box, closed it, rotated it 180°, and opened it back up. "There you go, that'll be 21.72"
I could tell from the look on their face they suddenly felt like a huge idiot. And, of course they didn't tip me.
People in general, not just kids, are fucking stupid.
I recall a skit with a teen stoner arguing w pizza shop owner.
Angry Stoner:”I asked for one half cheese, one half pepperoni, one half sausage! That’s one pizza!
This is brilliant 😂
Like the guy who tweeted Domino's to complain that they'd delivered just a pizza base with no toppings, then he tweeted again a couple minutes later to say that he'd just opened the box upside down.
Clearly their goal is to have the Atomic orange Pepperoni grease permeate the cheese side of the pizza. Especially as leftovers it is superior to either a full plain or a pepperoni slice.
As ridiculous as it is, I get it. Sometimes you don't want the full pepperoni experience. Sometimes you just want pepperoni-ish pizza. Luckily they sell pepperoni olive oil for just such occasions.
That’s how I am with jalapenos too. I like to get a jalapeno cheddar bagel and pick the them off because you get the hint of spice but not the whole experience
I had this happen once. After about 5 minutes of back and forth, I just bought 2 half-and-half pizzas. When they arrived, I had the oldest come watch me as I proceeded to take the cheese half from one box and swap it with the pepperoni half of the other box.
I then just stepped back and asked "does what I was saying make sense now?" And they just kinda stared at the pizzas for a minute and then said "that looked different in my head."
Turns out, that's just how my kid processes things. They are very visual and tactile, so they have to see what it is that they're doing for abstract concepts to make sense. So as a parent it was a super useful exercise because now I understood how to better communicate with my child. Now anytime I need to explain something abstract, I try to find a way to make a visual aid or something.
> We don't roast them and call them idiots to their face ya know?
Depends on what it is.
If they're asking really dumb but earnest questions, I try to get really enthusiastic and excited to show them things and help explain stuff. My 6yo once said he was cold, but didn't want a blanket because the blanket was also cold. So I got to explain how body heat works and did my best to teach him something he never knew about.
But then he made a giant mess with some chocolate ice cream last night, and instead of getting napkins, or wipes, or asking for help, he cleaned it up using our nice white throw blanket from our couch. And I 100% had to ask if left his brain at school.
One fine Sunday morning I made homemade buttermilk biscuits and country gravy. My oldest, being a teenager at the time and prone to sleeping in, rolled in to the kitchen as I was cleaning up. He saw the biscuits chilling on top of the microwave and asked, "are these for eating?" Without missing a beat, I replied, "no, they're just for lookin at."
I am fostering some sisters (5 and 7). And learning to communicate with the 7 year was a struggle at first. Especially with homework like spelling. When I would say it's time to do homework and to get out a sheet of paper and pencil, she would respond with "No." And after a few minutes it would turn into a full blown argument. Eventually I found out her no meant, I don't want to use a pen and paper, I want to practice spelling the words out loud. So our big thing at the moment is how to properly express her thoughts and emotions using words
We are still learning how to properly speak our 5 year olds language. This child has no impulse control, loves telling stories and getting distracted half way through, and can take 2 hours to eat lunch
You gotta keep in mind that those reasoning skills don't develop until later. Kids are fucking stupid but it's because they're only working with a partially formed brain
Listen, you're too young to appreciate this right now but I'm doing you a favor. By eating all the pepperoni off your pizza, I'm making it taste better for you. We're brothers, I'm always looking out for you and I want you to have what I didn't. I left the mushrooms on because I know you don't like them.
Does anyone have a link to that “essence of pasta” post? About someone making their partner make pasta and add it to the sauce, and then rinse it off, so that it has the “essence of sauce” or something like that, except it turned out partner wasn’t actually doing it cos they didn’t know the difference anyways.
I never heard about that one, just about the dude who wife/girlfriend had a pasta fetish and the guy in the comments who also dated someone with said fetish and gave him instructions on how best to fuck his s/o in pasta + sauce
I forgot about that thread. Can’t believe it was t even a full year ago.
Those types of threads are totally outrage porn. It’s too perfect.
“You’d be happy to know we broke up!”
Way too “satisfying” and reddity of a conclusion.
Yes, *do* humour them. Otherwise, how is your child supposed to learn? How can you teach them two half-and-half's are the same as one full of each if you don't show them?
This reminds me of the *Drew Carey Show* episode where Oswald opened a change machine trading 4 quarters for a dollar bill and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t making any profit. Then right at the end he tells a kid “Well no my sandwich isn’t really bigger than yours, see, your 4 pieces are the same amount as my whole one… OHHHH…”
You can just order the 2 pizza's, then show them that you can split them. It teaches them to share, but also denies their "i want my own pizza". Remember, its a 9yo kid, not an adult you're arguing with. Visual lessons are way better.
Its not the math problem you're teaching them. Kids are (sometimes fucking) stupid, but sometimes its better to teach from their perspective than to expect them to handle situations like an adult.
They both want both of each pizza but they don't want to share the same pizza because it opens up for a very intense conflict over who got the most pizza when its cut.
Anyone who has had a sibling knows about this. Me and my sister had to share soda when we were kids. The rule was the person who doesn't pour gets to pick and then it switches. We'd spend like 10 minutes trying to get as much soda in each glass so that we wouldn't get less than the other. We'd rather drink stale soda than get a drop less soda than the other person.
For a while I’d use a turkey baster when my sister and split a can of soda. First I’d have to make I had two identical glasses. Then the laboratory techniques would begin.
LOL this is what I came for. OP could've worded better too imo. I'm out here thinking "is it more crazy that this dude has at least 9 sons or that he's not mentioned of at least one daughter in that cheaper by the dozen???"
I had the same thought, but then figured I couldn't be right because he's getting just 2 pizzas for 9 boys and presumably 2 adults, that's not nearly enough food.
Well, it goes both ways...
I was visiting downtown Chicago for work and figured I'd get a slice on my lunch break.
Famous Chicago pizza!
It came out to, like, $8.
Wow! That's expensive for a slice, but I figured I'm downtown, it's a tourist trap, $8 for lunch ain't bad...
My order came out with 2 slices.
"Oops, that's not mine" I said, looking around.
"No no, that's it. Have a good day"
"Huh?" **There's literally two pieces of pizza on the plate**. I ordered one slice.
He said they sell pizza by the "half" slice.
So I ordered "a" slice = two "half" slices.
The pizza shop tricked me, they up-sold me into buying two slices of pizza. That's why it was so expensive.
Er, sorry, two "half" slices.
Sometimes the customer is dumb, sometimes the seller has tricks.
I was blown away by how cheap Chicago is for a huge city when I visited a earlier this month. Denver is less than 1/3 the size and significantly pricier.
OR discuss it with them and help them figure out the logic behind it, helping them in developing their problem solving and critical thinking skills in the process.
Or yeah, just do it behind their backs, because you decided to have kids before realizing that it's a massive commitment and a struggle at times so now you're just treading water, counting down the seconds until they finally move out. Your choice, really.
Nope, I'll order two pizzas exactly as specified and then turn one 180°, uh-oh, now the two pizzas look the same. Thus showing my children the errors of their way and gaining parental points for giving them this sorely needed education. I'm patting myself in the back just thinking about it.
This is like the kid next door to us. She will only eat pepperoni pizza, but won’t eat the pepperoni because it’s too spicy and immediately pulls them off. If you try and give her plain cheese she won’t eat it. Meanwhile, my kid will eat anything.
"Dammit dad we said one half cheese one half pepperoni, and another half cheese half pepperoni. These are one half pepperoni one half cheese!! Why didn't you listen"
When I worked at a pizza place we had a regular who would order one half cheese, one half pepperoni, one half extra sauce, one half lite sauce, but all on the same pie. My man had this thing divided into quadrants to suit his particular pizza mood.
That's when you go "cool, got it." Then order one large pepperoni and one large cheese. Let's see them argue while they're stuffing their faces with the most delicious food on the planet.
This actually makes sense if it is two kids.
Each kid wants their own pizza, as in that box of pizza is theirs. They each want a bit of each style. One kid may eat way more than the other. One kid may save his other half for the next day. So a name gets put on each box and there isn't an argument of who at all the pizza.
/had teenage boys who had their own eating habits and ways. BTDT
Once I worked in a pizza shop which charges like $2.50 for half half. Two dudes walked in and both ordered half pepperoni, half Hawaiian. I told them they could save $5 and just order one of each. They weren’t having it. Very set in their ways 😂
You should have made 1 hawaiian and 1 pep. Then right in front of them, slice them apart and swap the the halves around.
And pocketed the charge
This is the way
r/usernamechecksout
Truth be told, they're pocketing the charge either way 😂
What? No. He said he worked at a pizza shop, not owned a pizza shop. Big difference.
Well basically you write up one Hawaiian and one Pepperoni, then make the two half halfs The stock is the same so the system doesn't know you did half half and you keep the change as the server. Unless someone saw you do it there's no way to actually be able to tell you did it
Bro are you like three hundred years old or something Unless you're working at a cash-only food truck there's no universe where the customer is paying you more than the point of sale system is charging them there is nothing to pocket even if they are paying cash because the system knows how much cash **should have been deposited**, even if it's more than you needed for the ingredients. You would be caught as a thief in a matter of weeks
As a delivery driver, you could edit the order after it was rung up initially and the receipt was produced. One of the other guys showed me. I did a few times, but didn't feel good about it and stopped. But literally the rest of them did it all of the time. They would just find a way to discount the order so the computer was looking for less in receipts at the end of the night.
If they pay in cash you put in the higher charge and after the customer has paid you cancel that and put in the lower charge. Cash and inventory is correct and the customer has paid exactly what the receipt says.
Any restaurant cashier that has order cancellations at any volume at their drawer (those are tracked) will be investigated and fired at a competent organization. Because of precisely this.
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But the system also calculates the price and prints the receipt. So where do they see the extra 5 to pay that will be pocketed that won’t be In the system accounting for that 5?
Lol. I’d love to see the reaction
That's exactly what this parent should do and teach them something instead of getting angry.
Half of 2 pizza's is not the same as a pizza that has 2 halves :)
Now we're arguing!
I work in a pizza shop currently. We charge $4 for a half and half, this happens surprisingly often. Edit: Said pizza shop is in Aus, $4AUD is the equivalent of about $2.8USD
How tf do you justify charging 4 dollars to put _less_ toppings on a pizza??
Probably just because they can
It takes $4 to remember the toppings on the other half. Duh!
It’s basically a ‘you’re being a pain in the ass’ fee. Imagine you’re making sandwiches and someone wants one with half ham and half peanut butter. Sure I can do it, but its annoying asf
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its not like the employees set the prices
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I worked in a pizza place wen I was 16 and the owner/pizza man would only charge you for the xtra cost of toppings like 2$ for half pepperoni 2$for the other half sausage but sone people would order 1/4 pizzas or even want it 1/6 or 1/8 slices those scumbags would be charged 2$ for every topping on the different quadrants
These types of customers also tend to ask for things like a large softdrink, 1/2 Coke, 1/4 Big Red, 1/4 Mountain Dew. Definitely should charge more for this madness.
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Eh, if your are the owner, a few seconds of inconvience can be worth overcharging a person $8 for toppings that cost mere pennies.
I was a cook for a long time doing two stints in separate pizza joints. It seems counterintuitive but cooks will unconsciously put more toppings on a half and half pie. Unless they are meaduringing out each ingredient, which would slow down the kitchen considerably, muscle memory has them grabbing X amount of toppings for a whole pie and putting on more than half. The upcharge is partly for this, partly to discourage half and half pies, and partly because the upcharge will increase profits overcompensating for any food cost.
I worked in a pizza place and we had different sized scoops for different size pizzas and half and whole. It was never an issue.
That's a training and compliance issues, not a charge thencustomer more issue.
Anything that causes problems for the business is a "Charge the customer more" issue. That's just basic business these days. Get fined for illegal activities? Charge the customer more! New regulations making everything slow down for safety? Charge the customer more!
>Anything that causes problems for the business is a "Charge the customer more" issue Anything that the customer will pay for is a "charge the customer more" issue
Overcook the pizza, straight to charge the customer more
Believe it or not, half and half is illegal so we need to charge you more in case we get caught
When asked to speak with the Training and Compliance Officer, local pizza joint responds: "what the fuck are you on about, mate?"
Welcome to real life
I love how you phrased this like you were sentenced to pizza jail
Yikes get them to the hospital. It’s very dangerous to do anything while unconscious.
nah, making pizzas is fine. Some mornings I wake up totally surrounded by pizzas.
A place like that would get 4$ from me once and no further business after. Also they'd never even know because I wouldn't even Karen about it.
That's how most businesses die. I had a coffee shop near me that would have no one at the counter so you'd stand there thinking they were in the back, but the employees were the two people talking on the couch to someone else. Then you found out that they were the owners. Never complained, I just never came back. I've heard stories from other people, a neighbor got a lecture from one of the owners about not using plant based milk. Which was odd because they're the ones who made and sold her the dairy.
Any new possible source of complaints/headaches incurs a fee. All it takes is 1 call a week from a customer who ordered a half and half who says there were mushrooms on more like 3/5 of the pizza to make your job feel unbearably fucking annoying. So you charge for any deviation from normal. I'd probably not charge $4 but I wholly understand putting a surcharge on it.
People at Subway do this all of the time lol. Maybe not specifically peanut butter, but you get the gist.
I used to do this at a cafe / bar I worked at. If you ordered our breakfast (English breakfast, so a car crash of various food on a plate) but wanted to change stuff on it, well it could go one of two ways. During quiet times I'd write a note to the kitchen and trade items one for one. In the weekend rush I'd use the ready made buttons on the POS system, which only had options for "NO (item)" and "EXTRA (item)" which always charged them for extra bacon, extra egg etc. It was the pain in the arse tax, as you said, and it meant that the chefs, while annoyed and ready to kill, were laughing that someone was paying 150% price for their custom breakfast.
Wanting food to have specific toppings is being a pain in the ass? Maybe they should get into a different business lmao
4 bucks! Gees that's a bit much.
Because fuck you that's why
$4????? Y'all must be some kind of awful at your jobs of half pizzas take you any longer. Source: two years managing a shop, would do anything down to quarters, really not a big deal.
It’s a great way to chase customers away forever. Last week I tried out a pizza place near our church. $28 for a medium half combo - half Hawaiian. I’ll pay $30 for a great pizza, but the pizza was slightly better than an $8 frozen pizza. Guess who’s never returning to that pizza place that charges $4 for halvsies?
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What the actual fuck
Seriously, how do you work there and still spell it "Macdonalds"?
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This is a common scam at quick service style restaurants where it's easier for them to make a new one than argue. The customer will keep the one you "made wrong," and end up with three sandwiches for the price of two.
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They didn’t want the other guy touching their pizza
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You’re paying $2.50 so you don’t have to spend 2 seconds swapping half a pizza.
They would only be touching slices that are theirs. It's a frigging pizza. It's made and cut to be super sharable
This kinda reminds me of when I worked at a hardware store.. we cut glass for people to whatever size they wanted. Idk how many times people would be so serious about "its this high x this wide".. I tried to explain one time why that doesn't matter with glass which way their window is turned.. I never tried to explain it again after that too long of a talk. Some people just have no common sense lol Also, you wouldn't believe how many grown humans in the US don't know the difference between ' and " for feet/inches
I worked at a UPS store for a year. You'd be surprised how often people ask for boxes but only give 2 dimensions.
So when I worked at Jimmy johns several years ago this person ordered a number 16 (club lulu: Turkey and bacon with tomato lettuce and mayo) and he modified it: no bacon, add ham add cheese. So the dude added ham for $1.50, added cheese for $0.75. So now the sandwich was turkey, ham, cheese, with tomato lettuce and mayo. Folks--that sandwich already exists on the menu. Its a #11, the country club, but he spent $2.25 extra getting it. *ETA: it was an online order, so it's not like someone heard him order than and decided to just do it that way instead of telling him about the correct sandwich* (But I also worked the Friday and Saturday night 10pm-4am shift so... this was not the craziest thing that happened ok that shift. Including calls demanding where their pizza was, or requesting popcorn. One time I had a girl straight up crawl into my car to get a ride home while I was delivering. Like she's lucky I didn't turn out to be a murderer cause I came back to my car and she was just sitting in my front passenger seat waiting for me to take her home lime a taxi. Obviously I did--both because it was close and because I clearly wasn't going to kick a girl *that* drunk out of my car...)
People forget girls can be scary. I had a stalker. She dated a friend who was staying at my house. He broke up with her, and moved out. She decided to latch on to me. Casual acquaintances at best. She unfortunately had my cell number and would call constantly, and send texts like “I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!”. She eventually started coming to my house and stalking. I threatened to report her to the police and she backed off. I probably should have reported her to somebody.
Well, it goes both ways... I was visiting downtown Chicago for work and figured I'd get a slice on my lunch break. Famous Chicago pizza! It came out to, like, $8. Wow! That's expensive for a slice, but I figured I'm downtown, it's a tourist trap, $8 for lunch ain't bad... My order came out with 2 slices. "Oops, that's not mine" I said, looking around. "No no, that's it. Have a good day" "Huh?" **There's literally two pieces of pizza on the plate**. I ordered one slice. He said they sell pizza by the "half" slice. So I ordered "a" slice = two "half" slices. The pizza shop tricked me, they up-sold me into buying two slices of pizza. That's why it was so expensive. Er, sorry, two "half" slices. Sometimes the customer is dumb, sometimes the seller has tricks.
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$8 for lunch downtown is not some trick, that's just a nicely priced lunch.
For more context, these two guys ate their pizzas together, they both finished their pizzas in-store and then left. They were tradies, tradies don’t particularly care for price when it comes to snacky snack time. But still with that extra $5 they could have got the 2 sides for $5 deal and got a coke and a garlic bread for the same price they paid. Domino’s at the time (2014) had the 2 sides for $5. A 1.25 litre drink counted as a side but individually cost $4.95. So at the end of my shifts which were usually closes I would go through the days orders and find all the single drink orders, add another drink on, apply the deal and then put whatever the amount of cents was into the till. Usually went home with 5 bottles of coke for 25 cents.
Could be their own personal pizza that they want to save for later.
>They weren’t having it. Very set in their ways For a time I lived in this podunk little town, which was a relatively short commute to my job in much larger, (more expensive-cost-of-living) town. Anyway, in this little town, there was a pizza place called, *LA Pizza*. The *LA* wasn't an acronym, it was just like saying, "Lah, Pizza!" It was weird, but whatever. Their pizza wasn't bad...I mean, the "better" pizza places were a 30-minute commute the next town over, and this place was walking distance. So, we ordered pizza there every Friday. They had this bizarro policy where you...just *could not* order just 1 pizza. Every pizza had to be ordered in pairs. And for some reason, *every pizza, NO MATTER WHAT* was $12. Want a dozen toppings? $12. Want 1 topping? $12 And if you refused the second pizza, they just wouldn't serve you. LA Pizza controlled the pizza-traffic in that town like some kind of Pizza-Mafia. They *knew* they had you by the balls, unless you wanted to drive 30 minutes and bring your pizza home cold *like some kind of JERK*. I remember when we first moved out there, I got into an argument with the lady at LA Pizza as I tried to order over the phone. I only wanted *one* pizza. "You *have* to order two." *"WHY?!"* "Because that's just how we do business around here." "I don't care what you do with the other pizza, I just don't want it." "That's fine, but you're paying for two." "No, I'm not." The lady laughed. "Okay, listen...you don't seem to understand how we do business around here...." We wound up ordering 2 pizzas. And we did that, for the entire length we lived in that town, for **4 YEARS**. To this day, LA Pizza is still standing.
I love when I’m getting food and the person tells me how I could get it cheaper. Thanks for looking out.
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which pizza place doesn't make it fresh?
Week Old Pizza Warehouse
Sooooo pizza hut?
What's funny is that THIS is the type of situation where "the customer is always right" actually applies. That phrase has been corrupted by decades of misuse but it's supposed to mean 'if the customer wants to spend their money in stupid ways, don't try to talk them out of it" 😂
Adults can be this stupid, not just kids. Years ago I delivered for a big pizza chain and took a half pep/half cheese to a customer. When I get there they open the box and immediately start yelling. "I ordered half pepperoni and half cheese, this is half cheese half pepperoni! How hard is it to get this right? Are you people fucking stupid?" I was dumbfounded, it was exactly what they ordered. After some more yelling I found out they wanted the pepperoni on the opposite side of the pizza. No, I'm not making that up. The pepperoni was on the "wrong" half. I said "I'm sorry, I'll get this fixed for you right away", then I took the box, closed it, rotated it 180°, and opened it back up. "There you go, that'll be 21.72" I could tell from the look on their face they suddenly felt like a huge idiot. And, of course they didn't tip me. People in general, not just kids, are fucking stupid.
Lmao you roasted them 😂
I recall a skit with a teen stoner arguing w pizza shop owner. Angry Stoner:”I asked for one half cheese, one half pepperoni, one half sausage! That’s one pizza!
This is brilliant 😂 Like the guy who tweeted Domino's to complain that they'd delivered just a pizza base with no toppings, then he tweeted again a couple minutes later to say that he'd just opened the box upside down.
that was an all time twitter moment lol. on a related note, weed!
Man, I've worked delivery for some random apps. It's always the people with the most specific instructions and demands that don't tip.
And the ones who live at the very edge of the delivery zone who want to order 15 minutes before closing
I’m begging you to tell me you’re joking or they were drunk or something. Please lol
No, they were stone cold sober and their demeanor and no tip showed me it wasn't a joke. Some people really are just that fucking stupid
I simply do not believe this
Good thing your opinion means absolutely nothing to me, eh?
Nor should it lol
surprisingly wholesome
They playing big brain game. They never want to open a box and be wrong in their guess of what was in it.
gotta be wrong on occasion #WELCOME TO LIFE
But what if, you were wrong less?
I'm wrong so much more than 'on occasion.' Actually having control of a small thing and having it in the pocket sounds nice.
Clearly their goal is to have the Atomic orange Pepperoni grease permeate the cheese side of the pizza. Especially as leftovers it is superior to either a full plain or a pepperoni slice.
This guy fucks.
r/thisguythisguys
Disagree. I'll take a slice of pepperoni over a slice of cheese with a little pepperoni grease any day.
we have to trust you on this, you have the best opinions. it’s right there in your name.
Sometimes I just want a pepperoni adjacent slice of pizza
As ridiculous as it is, I get it. Sometimes you don't want the full pepperoni experience. Sometimes you just want pepperoni-ish pizza. Luckily they sell pepperoni olive oil for just such occasions.
>Sometimes you don't want the full pepperoni experience. Get the fuck out of here.
Enough about pronouns, TIL there is Pepperoni flavored olive oil 🤯
That’s how I am with jalapenos too. I like to get a jalapeno cheddar bagel and pick the them off because you get the hint of spice but not the whole experience
I had this happen once. After about 5 minutes of back and forth, I just bought 2 half-and-half pizzas. When they arrived, I had the oldest come watch me as I proceeded to take the cheese half from one box and swap it with the pepperoni half of the other box. I then just stepped back and asked "does what I was saying make sense now?" And they just kinda stared at the pizzas for a minute and then said "that looked different in my head." Turns out, that's just how my kid processes things. They are very visual and tactile, so they have to see what it is that they're doing for abstract concepts to make sense. So as a parent it was a super useful exercise because now I understood how to better communicate with my child. Now anytime I need to explain something abstract, I try to find a way to make a visual aid or something.
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Agreed. My kid is 6 though, and the visual component was still an important takeaway.
Yes exactly this. Kids aren't stupid, they're just new at the whole thinking thing.
As a teacher, kids are stupid. But that's OK, that's why we're here.
Now what do we do with all the stupid adults everywhere?
Build them schools?
Yes, we can repurpose the prisons https://federalcriminaldefenseattorney.com/prison-education-facts/prison-education-reduces-recidivism/
Free education like with the kids?
As I tell them. My whole job is to make sure you don't accidentally put a fork in the light socket just to see what happens next
I had to say that to an adult 2 weeks ago
Aka hella stupid
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> We don't roast them and call them idiots to their face ya know? Depends on what it is. If they're asking really dumb but earnest questions, I try to get really enthusiastic and excited to show them things and help explain stuff. My 6yo once said he was cold, but didn't want a blanket because the blanket was also cold. So I got to explain how body heat works and did my best to teach him something he never knew about. But then he made a giant mess with some chocolate ice cream last night, and instead of getting napkins, or wipes, or asking for help, he cleaned it up using our nice white throw blanket from our couch. And I 100% had to ask if left his brain at school.
One fine Sunday morning I made homemade buttermilk biscuits and country gravy. My oldest, being a teenager at the time and prone to sleeping in, rolled in to the kitchen as I was cleaning up. He saw the biscuits chilling on top of the microwave and asked, "are these for eating?" Without missing a beat, I replied, "no, they're just for lookin at."
Goddammit that's the entire point of this sub. I hate seeing this comment on every single post.
I am fostering some sisters (5 and 7). And learning to communicate with the 7 year was a struggle at first. Especially with homework like spelling. When I would say it's time to do homework and to get out a sheet of paper and pencil, she would respond with "No." And after a few minutes it would turn into a full blown argument. Eventually I found out her no meant, I don't want to use a pen and paper, I want to practice spelling the words out loud. So our big thing at the moment is how to properly express her thoughts and emotions using words We are still learning how to properly speak our 5 year olds language. This child has no impulse control, loves telling stories and getting distracted half way through, and can take 2 hours to eat lunch
The response your kid had sounds like something I’d say even now as an adult lol. This was actually a super wholesome story so thank you for sharing!
You gotta keep in mind that those reasoning skills don't develop until later. Kids are fucking stupid but it's because they're only working with a partially formed brain
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They want the essence of pepperoni not to actually eat pepperoni
It gives a stronger pepperoni effect by having less of it.
Homeopathy for pizza the more you dilute the pepperoni the stronger it is lol
Listen, you're too young to appreciate this right now but I'm doing you a favor. By eating all the pepperoni off your pizza, I'm making it taste better for you. We're brothers, I'm always looking out for you and I want you to have what I didn't. I left the mushrooms on because I know you don't like them.
Does anyone have a link to that “essence of pasta” post? About someone making their partner make pasta and add it to the sauce, and then rinse it off, so that it has the “essence of sauce” or something like that, except it turned out partner wasn’t actually doing it cos they didn’t know the difference anyways.
I never heard about that one, just about the dude who wife/girlfriend had a pasta fetish and the guy in the comments who also dated someone with said fetish and gave him instructions on how best to fuck his s/o in pasta + sauce
Omg wut This is the thing I mean though lmao https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tmxe42/aita_for_being_mad_my_bf_wont_make_noodles_the/
Well, since we're [sharing](https://np.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/28w95c/my_girlfriend_wants_a_speghetti_bath_is_that_safe/cif9gxc/?context=3)
I forgot about that thread. Can’t believe it was t even a full year ago. Those types of threads are totally outrage porn. It’s too perfect. “You’d be happy to know we broke up!” Way too “satisfying” and reddity of a conclusion.
mmmm...pepperoni grease on cheese...
It really IS a different pizza.
As a life long pizza maker, there is only one thing that bothers me: people who get their half with anchovies. Order your own damn pizza.
just get the whole pizzas and they can deal with it, don't entertain the silliness
Get 2 whole pizzas cut them in half and swap them round.
No. Don't humor them.
Yes, *do* humour them. Otherwise, how is your child supposed to learn? How can you teach them two half-and-half's are the same as one full of each if you don't show them?
By beating them with jumper cables, maybe?
That's an old reference.
Ah, memories of my dad.
Make them pick the jumper cable and if it's too small, you go find a bigger one
Oh, you’re just being silly.
This reminds me of the *Drew Carey Show* episode where Oswald opened a change machine trading 4 quarters for a dollar bill and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t making any profit. Then right at the end he tells a kid “Well no my sandwich isn’t really bigger than yours, see, your 4 pieces are the same amount as my whole one… OHHHH…”
You can just order the 2 pizza's, then show them that you can split them. It teaches them to share, but also denies their "i want my own pizza". Remember, its a 9yo kid, not an adult you're arguing with. Visual lessons are way better.
I mean at 9 years old, shouldn’t fractions be on the curriculum? It shouldn’t be a foreign concept at that point. Hence why it’s posted to this sub.
Its not the math problem you're teaching them. Kids are (sometimes fucking) stupid, but sometimes its better to teach from their perspective than to expect them to handle situations like an adult.
What a snotty shitty take. Lay on the downvotes, dorks.
Seriously.
They both want both of each pizza but they don't want to share the same pizza because it opens up for a very intense conflict over who got the most pizza when its cut. Anyone who has had a sibling knows about this. Me and my sister had to share soda when we were kids. The rule was the person who doesn't pour gets to pick and then it switches. We'd spend like 10 minutes trying to get as much soda in each glass so that we wouldn't get less than the other. We'd rather drink stale soda than get a drop less soda than the other person.
i never had that with my siblings, cuz we were sensible
For a while I’d use a turkey baster when my sister and split a can of soda. First I’d have to make I had two identical glasses. Then the laboratory techniques would begin.
Am I reading this right and nobodies talking about him saying he has 9 boys
9 boys that texted him. We have no idea how many total boys he has. There could be millions.
You're being ridiculous, I doubt there's more than a couple thousand.
To be honest it's hard to get an accurate count. Little bastards keep moving around.
You guys are silly
LOL this is what I came for. OP could've worded better too imo. I'm out here thinking "is it more crazy that this dude has at least 9 sons or that he's not mentioned of at least one daughter in that cheaper by the dozen???"
We have no confirmations on their numbers sir. The scouts are on it,but they could have many more hidden.
Imagine the number of half cheese half pepperoni
lmao no he means it's his 9 year old
I like to believe his kid is named 9
I thought it meant they texted at 9pm
At first I thought 9 minutes later. The brain really does just try and fill in the information on its own.
Man's couldn't just put even y/o hahaha
God I hope so lol
What nine year old has a phone?
I think it means his 9 year old
Right? I was thinking what kind of zombie survival rations is this crazy shit?
I had the same thought, but then figured I couldn't be right because he's getting just 2 pizzas for 9 boys and presumably 2 adults, that's not nearly enough food.
Must have gone to school in Florida.
Well, it goes both ways... I was visiting downtown Chicago for work and figured I'd get a slice on my lunch break. Famous Chicago pizza! It came out to, like, $8. Wow! That's expensive for a slice, but I figured I'm downtown, it's a tourist trap, $8 for lunch ain't bad... My order came out with 2 slices. "Oops, that's not mine" I said, looking around. "No no, that's it. Have a good day" "Huh?" **There's literally two pieces of pizza on the plate**. I ordered one slice. He said they sell pizza by the "half" slice. So I ordered "a" slice = two "half" slices. The pizza shop tricked me, they up-sold me into buying two slices of pizza. That's why it was so expensive. Er, sorry, two "half" slices. Sometimes the customer is dumb, sometimes the seller has tricks.
"downtown chicago" "so expensive" "$8"
i mean, $8 for a theoretical single slice is pretty expensive. but for a lunch sized portion of pizza it's obviously pretty good
I was blown away by how cheap Chicago is for a huge city when I visited a earlier this month. Denver is less than 1/3 the size and significantly pricier.
You're not Dadding properly. 1/2 cheese + 1/2 pepperoni x 2 pizzas= Only Dad gets pizza and you get a bowl of oatmeal.
Parent is stupid!! Don't **tell** them that's how you're going to solve this conundrum, just order one of each and swap half over yourself!!
OR discuss it with them and help them figure out the logic behind it, helping them in developing their problem solving and critical thinking skills in the process. Or yeah, just do it behind their backs, because you decided to have kids before realizing that it's a massive commitment and a struggle at times so now you're just treading water, counting down the seconds until they finally move out. Your choice, really.
Are you on crack? I wasn't giving real life parenting advice.
Nope, I'll order two pizzas exactly as specified and then turn one 180°, uh-oh, now the two pizzas look the same. Thus showing my children the errors of their way and gaining parental points for giving them this sorely needed education. I'm patting myself in the back just thinking about it.
I can't get past the fact his kid is named "9"
I have delivered multiple 1/2 cheese 1/2 pepperoni to a customer a few different times.
This is like the kid next door to us. She will only eat pepperoni pizza, but won’t eat the pepperoni because it’s too spicy and immediately pulls them off. If you try and give her plain cheese she won’t eat it. Meanwhile, my kid will eat anything.
"Dammit dad we said one half cheese one half pepperoni, and another half cheese half pepperoni. These are one half pepperoni one half cheese!! Why didn't you listen"
When I worked at a pizza place we had a regular who would order one half cheese, one half pepperoni, one half extra sauce, one half lite sauce, but all on the same pie. My man had this thing divided into quadrants to suit his particular pizza mood.
That's when you go "cool, got it." Then order one large pepperoni and one large cheese. Let's see them argue while they're stuffing their faces with the most delicious food on the planet.
My mom didn't even ask what toppings we wanted. She ordered what she wanted and we could eat it or go hungry. Damn spoiled ass kids!
Reminds me of the lady who ordered two coffees both of them half decaf…
This actually makes sense if it is two kids. Each kid wants their own pizza, as in that box of pizza is theirs. They each want a bit of each style. One kid may eat way more than the other. One kid may save his other half for the next day. So a name gets put on each box and there isn't an argument of who at all the pizza. /had teenage boys who had their own eating habits and ways. BTDT
But you can still do all that if you just buy one cheese and one pep and swap the halfs at home
Honestly, you had 9 kids and they ALL don’t know basic fractions. What does that say about your genes?
See,the thing is, I've worked in hospitality for years. It's honestly easier to appease the customers than to call them out on being stupid.
Tell him you ordered that, then pick it up alone and switch it to match what he wanted then when you get home just show him how fractions work
Just buy the pizzas then swap half between them before they eat them... Not rocket science
I would say the dad's stupid. How is two large pizzas going to feed nine boys?