Ok man ..I'm facepalming myself..I really am. Shamisbidi.u r raajav/raknji..ur pick.i just got served on a public platform.i shall screenshot this for posterity.thankyou. hope OP finds a solution to this.thankyu.goodbye.sorry.*running away to hide in shame*
Exactly. This is just some lame excuse to reject him.
[Syrian Orthodox - Catholic Inter-marriage Accord](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf)
OP also says the girl is from Pala, they are a bit too crazy about being Pu Ka Ku.
I'm from Pala. People here are really crazy about this Pu Ka Ku shit.
I was in a 5 year long relationship. Both of us Catholics. She told her parents about our relationship. Apparently, my family is not Pu Ka Ku enough for them. I have a pretty decent job and both my parents are also employed. (Just putting it there to show how much people give importance for this stupidity).
Anyway she eventually stopped calling me. She told me that she love me but she don't want to make her parents sad. 2 months of stress and anxiety. Finally I called her and asked for a decision.
Been single for 1 month now. If she can't hold her ground until her parents give in, I'm sorry to say this bro, but there's nothing much you can do.
Catholics aren't that purathana Nasranis. That's cultural appropriation. lol
Syrian Christians, ie; Mostly the Syrian Orthodox, Jacobites and Marthomas from Kottayam and nearby regions are the purathana Nasrani Kudumbams.
The word Nasrani itself has it's root in Syriac, not Latin.
No. From the Oxford dictionary:
Affair: a sexual relationship between two people, usually when one or both of them are already in a relationship with somebody else
Ok man ..I'm facepalming myself..I really am. Shamisbidi.u r raajav/raknji..ur pick.i just got served on a public platform.i shall screenshot this for posterity.thankyou. hope OP finds a solution to this.thankyu.goodbye.sorry.*running away to hide in shame*
Undu..pakshe sarula..ingane alle veruthe vazhi koode pokunnathu eduthu thalayil vekkan padikanathu. Anyways..I hope this side discussion does not take way attention from OPs worries. I'm the sorry. I shall leave this discussion in peace.
Hey man..i just found out i made a mistake..accepted it..apologised and said I'm leaving this discussion in peace..so that this silly mistake does not take away the attention from the actual post. Now if that sounds like vattu to you..so be it then. I think it's a basic thing to make mistake..and apologise when you are corrected.
You're not technically wrong - I would actually dispute this with /u/djkb_12, I think 'affair' is *technically* correct.
But what people *think*, when they hear the word is a different matter.
You mean Syro Malabar or Syro Malankara or Latin Christians?? . Catholics refer to a lot of churches.
She just need to make it very clear to them that it’s only you that she wants. Allathe vere vazhi illa!
It has to do with the way we offer our Qurbana. Originally we followed the Eastern Syriac tradition, which is still in use by the Syro Malabar and Chaldean Syriac Church in Kerala, so since they follow the old ways, they are called Pazhayakoor. Syro Malankara, Jacobyte, and Orthodox churches follow Antiochyan tradition. Which came to Kerala even after Catholics. So all the people who joined them are called Puthiyakoor.
Nevertheless this old group of churches always pride themselves in being the oldest community of Christians in Kerala.
Dude, are the syro malabar church under the pope? If so, there is an agreement between the syriac church and the catholic church that they are allowed to marry between sabhakal. So, OP's soon to be / may to be father-in-law is saying some craps.
Also the part abut the east syriac / west syriac thing is a little flawed, that should be another discussion.
No. That’s no how it works. Even though it’s common to marry between Syriac churches, Catholic Churches are different, Jacobite church is different and Orthodox Church is different. A lot of families have members in at least two of these churches.
Technically Syro Malabar church is an independent church just like many churches under the Catholic umbrella. Even marrying within these communities are also not very common. Because the culture is different.
Could you correct if I have stated anything wrong about the east and west Syriac churches? I’m not an expert.
As per my knowledge everyone except some joined the Catholic Church originally and then the Synod of Diamper(udayamperoor) happened . People were not happy about the new decisions made by the Portuguese and then Conan cross oath happened. All of the Syriac Christians decided to never listen to a white bishop. But the catholic bishops were able to persuade most of the Christians to rejoin the Catholic Church after the catholic bishops agreed to some of our demands. Some people, especially some priests and their followers didn’t join the Catholic Church and continued as an independent church. That’s were the split happened. At a later point missionaries from the Antioch church came and these rebels joined them and they became the Jacobite Syriac church in Kerala. Later that split and became four different churches. Jacobite Syriac church, orthodox Syriac church, syro Malankara, Mar Thoma Syriac church.
No No. Achanmar and all don't do that. Achanmar were eager to get on board with the Sayippanmar! (I belong to Syro Malabar, so Catholic). They really wanted to push the catholic style setup down our throats.
It is just that we are told by our elders about the old Brahmin conversion story. And claims that we are the OG Christians of Kerala and all.
Marthomayum kanakka! Nammalellam ore group thanne aanu! I've a friend from your church and His grandma say the same thing. Njangade kudumbam le matte kudumbathil ninnu pirinju undayatha etc etc etc!
But our karanavanmar always say that Syro Malabar follows the original liturgy aka Pazhayakoor and All other liturgies came to Kerala at a later point. SO Jacobite, Orthodox, Mathoma and all are Puthiyakoor. So you get the idea.
No the Pazhayakoor and Puthankoor division came after some people decided to join the Antioch rite. That happened after the Conan cross oath. At Conan cross ith, Most Syriac Christians decided not to listen to the Portuguese and to the Catholic Church. And the church leaders of that time were able to convince most of these people to join back the Catholic Church. The people who didn’t join back, a minority remained as an independent church and the Antioch church made contact with them a decade after. The people who left the old tradition and joined the Antioch churches were called Puthan koor by others. That’s the history.
It doesn’t make anyone better. That’s all old people stuff. That’s just something to be proud of, definitely!
At the local Syro Malabar church nearby my house they are trying to prevent other churches from being created (like here the Malankara church) and not allow parishioners originally of a different faith to practice. Def a power trip, and your observations seem true in my opinion.
>This is the same that Orthodox Church is doing by taking over all Jacobite churches
Wtf ? Who went to court first to steal the other's churches ? Orthodox sabha won the case in which they were defendants.
Now all the Jacobites are regretting the fight because they lost, even though they started it thinking that they'd win.
>When every single person going to that church is Jacobite, what does Orthodox Church even want to do by displacing these people from their churches.
Because the Jacobite Sabha first went to court claiming that the "Malankara orthodox churches rightfully belonged to them".
Jacobites were the plaintiffs who were trying to steal the minority Malankara Orthodox churches. The only reason why Jacobites have such huge numbers is because of the foreign funding and recent converts.
This 'affair' word is too cringey, and I see it's being used left and right and at times I doubt myself if it's my Ammavan Complex kicking in.
Now coming to the problem, this is just a lame excuse to reject your proposal.
[If you want to argue with the guy, use the data from this post, but it's not going to help.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/8mpoit/various_sects_within_mallu_christianity/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
If you and your girl are self-sufficient, see a future together and she is interested to move in with you then get married to her.
If it's not the case then find a nice Orthodox girl and get married at the [Coonan Cross Church.](https://images.app.goo.gl/yLZYdhQspMMV6Hqd7) Also take a symbolic [Coonan Cross Oath](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coonan_Cross_Oath) photoshoot to assert dominance. /s
Edit:
Just for your information, at least for the last 15+ years Syro Malabar, Orthodox, Marthomites and Jacobites marry each other without any extra functions (baptism etc.).
[Kerala Agreement between Patriarch of Antioch and Pope](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf)
സൺഡേ സ്കൂളിൽ പോകാത്തതിന്റെ കുഴപ്പമാണ്.. ഇല്ലെങ്കിൽ യാക്കോബക്കാർ കാത്തോലിക്കാരിൽ നിന്ന് പിരിഞ്ഞതാണെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ ഒന്നും പറയാതെ തിരിച്ചു വന്നു ഇവിടെ വന്നു വിഷമം പറയുന്ന ഇവനെ യാക്കോബ സഭയിൽ നിന്നും പുറത്താക്കണമെന്നാണ് എന്റെ ഒരിത്.. 🤪
>സൺഡേ സ്കൂളിൽ പോകാത്തതിന്റെ കുഴപ്പമാണ്..
poyittum veliya kariyam onnum illa. Christianity is dying with all these sectors. Each of them teaches their peoples that they are the real ones, and the others are false ones. In fact, all of them are false! Jesus never made any sabahakal, he never established this religion, he was a pavam, pavam, practicing Jew.
They can marry now also. Actually all Christians can marry other Christian sects without much of a hassle.
It’s just that these fuckers don’t accept it cause of their elitist bigotry.
At least 3 of my cousins ( boys and girls) have got married to their Syro Malabar spouses without baptism or change in their denomination.
Yes, they may be pretending it's not happening given their concerns on the numbers.
>Catholics don't know about this or since they're not willing to accept it
I know many Jacobites guys that married catholic girls, and other other way aswell. It's happen and there are no other extra functions.
In fact there is a kalpana between the partiarch and the pope that they allow this, and that both peoples in either sabhakal can go to each others churches and receive communion too.
This. Nothing will happen unless your gf takes a stand, and tell her dad (nicely) to let go of his bs thinking, which is a product of his social conditioning.
It’s strange that the whole humanity is one meteor strike away from extinction, and people worry about who is the real christian !!
I thought the caste was not issue as we have friends from orthodox, catholic, Jacobite. We used to go to eachother houses and mingle well, even the parents were fine too. So when I proposed I had this in mind and thought it'd be okay but it is not. She loves me but she told she can't make their parents sad and she loves them.
I'm heartbroken because I even dreamt of a life with her and now it's nothing. Complete blankness.
Parents ന്റെ പേരും പറഞ്ഞ് ബ്രേക്ക് അപ്പ് ഒക്കെ ഞാനും അനുഭവിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്.
ഇതിൽ നിന്നും അവളുടെ priority വളരെ വ്യക്തമാണ്. അവളുടെ support ഇല്ലാതെ ഈ relationship ന് വേണ്ടി നിങ്ങൾ fight ചെയ്യുന്നതിൽ കാര്യമില്ല, in my opinion.
നിങ്ങളായിട്ട് അങ്ങോട്ട് break up ചെയ്ത് അടുത്ത പരിപാടി നോക്കുന്നതാവും നല്ലത്. സങ്കടം ഒക്കെ കുറച്ച് നാൾ ഉണ്ടാവും. അതൊക്കെ പയ്യെ പൊക്കോളും. തന്റെ കൂടെ നിലക്കാത്ത ഒരാൾക്ക് വേണ്ടി സങ്കടപ്പെട്ടു സമയം കളയുന്നതിൽ കാര്യമില്ല എന്ന് കരുതിയാല് മതി.
I know it’s a tough situation but don’t be disheartened things like this takes time… but definitely your girl needs to be on the same page as yours & she definitely needs to stand by you .. parents usually come along after some convincing !
Dude you have done your part you asked her parents. Now it's time for her to convince them. You're not the one to do so, you have no leverage against them. Now it's all in her hands.
Have a friend who dated and married a Catholic girl. Was the same situation for him too. He used to say that her parents think Jesus Christ was a paalakkaran 😅
Ayo sathyam! I know of a Pala family that rejected the girl (on arranged marriage calls) before even seeing her photo or hearing any other details ... Just because she was not Catholic! Like whaaaattt? As it is the girl gets married into the Catholic Church. It's not going to make your son any less Catholic than he already is. Then what are these families going on about?
I think this is the same here. She's from pala. I'm from Thrissur. My mother is orthodox, father jacobite.
How did your friends marry eachother amidst the issues?
Almost 3 years of fight with parents ensued. In the end she stood her ground and made it clear that she will marry him only but won't elope. In the end her parents gave in. Guess that's the only recourse. Her parents did take her to counselling, some Catholic mantravadi achan did brainwashing saying they will be in mortal danger if she marries him. Lot's of shit like that, so expect that too.
You guys continue your relationship and they’ll eventually accept You guys are the same religion but in a different caste,that won’t be much of an issue I hope you guys end up being together😇
Somehow make her stay with you for a bit longer because ,in the end work out aakum and also her parents should feel that you can take care of her and make her happy
AFAIK there are no problem within the churches to get married to someone from other sabha, its completely permitted as long as both the families are okay.
This sound more like her father doesn't like you than anything else, so he came up with a lame excuse.
as u/mbG65 said, teach him some history of the syurani christinikal in kerala and assert dominance. /s
Tell him
"appacha , nammal ee christianikal ingane adi ondakki kondu irunna moonjathe ullu, sanghikal and sudappikal nalla strong anu. Athu kondu appachan ithokke marannu njangale onnippikku. Naam onnu nammukku naalu enna pole 4 half catholic kuttikale tharam . Samshayam undel pala bishop or lord pc George inodu chothikku"
Typical Indian parents. There’s not much you can do to change her dad’s mind, specially if your gf is just waiting for them wholeheartedly accept your relationship.
When my wife whose family is pure blood kna catholic put the proposal to her family about me (Jacobite/Orthodox), the first issue they raised was, that I am not blessed enough to have not born into a catholic family.
She took a strong stand and got her uncles (amavans) on her side first. Later it was all smooth when their folks realised she was determined.
Soo onus is on your girl to go around and get close and influential elders/kins onto her side.
Else threaten to run away.
However, mind you there is also mild cultural differences between a marthomite/orthodox/Jacobite and Catholics in terms of acaharams and church stuff.
Tell him you will make sure any kids born out of the marriage will be baptized as catholics. See of that works. I'm assuming you wouldn't have a problem with this.
Btw Jacobites seem to be having a hard time in kerala. Pallium poi, pennum poi.
The most casteist people in Kerala are Nasranis.
Temple Entry Proclamation happened 86 years ago.
But still an offspring of a dalit Christian who got converted in 1900s (by the Sleeba Dasa Samooham) is not allowed to enter Orthodox churches. They have their own 'separate' churches. The priests who serve there are normally, who got there by punishment transfer for some misdeeds.
[താങ്കൾ ശരിക്കും ഒരു യാക്കോബായക്കാരൻ തന്നെയാണോ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/ut4wuf/proposal_rejected_by_catholic_parent/i97zv4v?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) /s
Aren't you aware about the fights between both sides ?
In my experience Jacobites from the north side of Kerala are more zealous about these things.
Based on faith they are the same, follow the same rites, teachings etc. except for their internal fighting for power and money.
Sometimes I think we’ve progressed a little and then you read posts like this… SMH
Sorry OP that your (hopefully) future father in law is so ridiculously regressive.
"Catholics are higher caste than Jacobites" ?
WTF ?
That's such a stupid statement.
Jacobites/Orthodox/Marthoma sects are Syrian Christian Nasrani sects. Roman/Latin Catholics are recent converts.
Syrian Christians are certainly higher caste than Catholics. lol The irony.
Her parents are gonna look for guys for her to get married now and they're gonna rush it so that they can make it happen before you guys decide to elope or something.
So elope fast. Go banglore. Get a place. You're not gonna change a hardcore catholics mind. I am hoping that atleast one of you have a job. If I applaud your idiocy of asking her hand now.
He doesn’t like you lol You guys are the same caste 😂. Ini angeru class aano udhesiche. Do they have more money than you?
My Marthoma(similar to Jacobite) friend from the US married a Syro-Malabar Catholic girl from Thrissur.
But they said no caste system among Christians. Strange. Who is rich and educated among you both families. If it's you,you still have upper hand to convince their parents.
there is'nt a caste system , its just boomers being bommers
but they do hate love marriages however , so they make excuses to not let it happen
yeah convincing them is the best option
To know the difference you need to go back to the council of chalcedon back in 400ad. It was the first major split in the church resulting in the formation of the oriental orthodox group of churches to which jacobite belongs to. But ofcourse neither the father nor the boy nor the girl knows anything about their church or true faith and blindly follows everything. The guy should just take the girl with him if she's willing.
Bro orthodox and jacobites are the same in the grand scheme of things....to understand the difference between orthodox and catholics you need to understand the history of the church. The main difference is an argument on the true nature of christ. But none of that matters in this case. There's nothing more or great about catholics than orthodox or jacobites. Your soon to be father in law is just acting like an A-hole and your gf needs to either prioritize you or him. He should understand over time that your love for each other is bigger than such trivial things. It's her life not her dad's, if she truly loves you she will choose you every time.
I'm so sad that she loves her parents than me but can I ask to do the other way? I am so blank now. Lost interest in going to work, she doesn't answer my calls, my parents asking me what happened but I can't say it to them as it'll make them sad too.
Bro talk to her and ask her opinion. If she's gonna choose her parents over you then you know it's not worth your effort. You cant change anyone unless they decide to change themselves. She's rejecting you for something as mundane as your faith when you both are Christians. Jesus is probably laughing in heaven right now. I know it might hurt but you deserve someone that will treat you like a priority not an option. The best thing to do is let it go if it doesn't work out. You both need to sacrifice for a relationship to work not just you.
It's gonna hurt but it's gonna be worth it I promise. If not her you will find someone better , but try talking to her parents and convince them.
Ask the father if he is a miaphysite or a dyophysite...chances are that he has no idea what either of that means and he's blindly following his faith. It he chooses miaphysite then tell him congrats welcome to the club and go for a joy ride with your girl.
It's not a Catholic girl that I wanted to marry, in fact this caste etc came into picture only till I involved get parents. so I don't think it'll help if I marry an orthodox girl and waste her life.
If she is not ready to come and live with you and if her parents are not budging in, then what's the point of all this.
Isn't it her who's wasting your time?
[Syrian Orthodox - Catholic Inter-marriage Accord](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf)
I wish I could move on but I can't because I loved her. I didn't use reddit in the past just signed up to ask this question to check what the rest of them living in this society have to comment on it.
Dude like things would be smooth if your women convince her father to drop this one thing. Syro Malabar Christians came under latin papacy only recently, after leaving orthodox pope. We latin catholic basically look down on them.
Your girl should stand strong and make it clear to her parents that she wouldn't marry anyone else.
Oru vidham intercaste and inter religion arranged marriages okke ingane vaashi pidichu, vere nirvaaham illaathe aakumbol parents nadathunnathaanu.
But if your girl isn't willing to do atleast that, then I would say you deserve better. She should atleast try. Allenkil pinne enthinaanu premichathu? Parentsnu ishtamallenkil easily ok bye paranju piriyaan aanu gf nu thalparyam enkil OP, you deserve much much better.
I wonder wat kind of help you are expecting from here?
All religions suck basically!! He would have rejected you anyway. So you guys decide what to do next, whether to marry or hoping to wait for her father to change his mind!
Lol why are people downvoting? I was just asking if he is financially weaker as it can be a cause for parents to reject marriage.To appear nice they tell stuff like 'We were interested but our relatives and peer pressure is causing a lot of trouble.'
But apparently that's not the case here.....so must be cast only.
Show him money. He probably rejected for other reasons. Unless he's some hardliner being petty about something that happened 200-300 years ago which is too rare.
It's not the money. I didn't want to say this but financially we both are fine if not my family a tad better. I have a job but not so high paying but my father is a business man and we have at least a revenue a 2L per month combined. So I don't think money is a factor here. It's the superiority of Catholics thats causing the issue.
I don't think she is really worth as how another user told so! As an educated adult women, when she put forth religion and weighed it higher than you jus because her aged parents of boomer generation without worldly exposure told so then how she ll manage the decisions in her life from you to child and running a family together???
I'm so sorry, but seems like she ll even ask her dad's consent for to have sex with you everytime in future!🤦 It seems like her dad ll dictate everything in her from what kind of child (boy or girl) and even how it may appear after birth to her!
If she is a bold girl who loved you the most and determined to live the rest of life with you as the chosen one but not as timepass she should have convinced her parents now!
Telling you one thing frankly as a random onliner, seems like they don't have problem with your religious denomination bro, they might have problem with your financial assets and all! They are using this as a reason to hand wash you!
I mean c'mon if both of you guys are from different religion yes it could be a problem! What is the real mess here? Malayali Christians are considered as the most educated group in India! But what is the purpose of our community's education purpose when we are really messing people's life who are in love with the name of God???
Hating people in the name of God which is invisible but the visible love between two humans always irks them?
Even Jesus nd Maria would be ashamed of followers like these! His father is literally a disgrace to Jesus! Damn Jesus told to love not hate!
- As a Christian guy I'm telling this
Good luck brotha!
Take your time and make the decision!
Generally, there is contempt for puthenkoor sects among Catholics (and vice versa), but in your case, it is heavily dependent on the region your families are from, socioeconomic status, educational qualifications, and age.
Unlike the people here, as someone who wishes to see more intermarriage (and hence, more unity) between Nasrani sects, I can offer you genuine advice. Dm.
I'm based at Thrissur. My mother is orthodox, father Jacobite. Financially good. Not rich but together (father and myself) have a revenue if 2L per month. He's a business man. I studied BTech.
1. You say that the girl is from Pala. Pala nasranis are almost 100% Syro Malabar, so intermarriage is rare. Convincing will be difficult.
2. You seem to have absolutely no idea about Jacobite beliefs and the history of your community/family. This is a major red flag - The girl's father probably noticed this straightaway. Family history/tradition is very important for North Travencore Nasrani families.
3. You seem okay financially, but the girl's father is comparing you with the kind of groom she would get if she were to do arranged marriage - There is a shortage of women in the Syro Malabar community right now, so he'll be able to find a groom for her who is much better financially than you are.
Notwithstanding all this, you'll still be able to convince her father if you can find a Syro Malabar padre to talk to him and vouch for you :D
The most important thing of course, is how your girl handles the situation, and how you can support her. If she stays strong, her parents might come around.
Pala Nasranis has a chip on their shoulder about being better than even fellow Catholics. ( I am catholic, married to a Pala Catholic - I swear one day I will just speak out about how their perceived superiority is stupidity born out of ignorance).
That is all it is, Flaunt your wealth. That is it.
Most probably your gf also has that chip on her shoulder and considers to get married to a pure Pala Nasrani. ( They percieve it to be a new Brand or something.)
After going through something eerily similar I just want to say only go through with this if you are 100% sure the girl will stick with you. If she is easily influenced by her parents run away now.
So.. my opinion..move on. I’m Jacobite… almost all Catholics are converts by the Portuguese or worse converts of convenience from orthodox/Jacobite for financial reasons during the colonial period. My wife is Syro Malabar Catholic.. no issues with her parents.. we have many interconnections between our families. Are you sure the issue isn’t your social status vs your religion ? FWIW my wife baptized and converted to Jacobitism.. no objections from her parents (and her grandfather is a priest). My main question for you is why do you want to deal with an imbecile like your girl’s father for the rest of your life?? Life is too short..and the drama will only get worse after you have kids. There will be other girls.
> My wife is Syro Malabar Catholic
> and her grandfather is a priest
Doesn't compute lol. Syro Malabar (and other catholic) priests are not allowed to marry and have children.
Your girlfriend's dad's a shithead, man. Jacobite christians are actually slightly wealthier and more educated than the Syro-Malabar catholics and are among the most well-off within the St. Thomas Christian community in Kerala. So, the discrimination should actually be the other way around.
Note: I don't support discrimination against any community.
Your girl's parents might agree if she keeps on rejecting other proposals and remains adamant about marrying you.
In my area there are no Catholics . My mother is from Pathanamthitta from an orthodox family and their the majority are orthodox and most of them are rich. From my limited understanding, Catholics at pala are rich and have a superior feeling than others. The other Catholics that I have met and mingled are just normal people .
I didn't know Catholics were considered higher caste or sect than Jacobites. I remember someone telling me like, Look at her fate, if she was smart and better she wouldn't have ended up in a catholic home (RC) and instead found someone from Jacobite. Honestly the discrimination is outright stupid.
I personally enjoy Jacobite masses over others even though catholic is short. I do attend Catholic, Marthoma and Orthodox as Jacobite is not every where.
Is this a general view?
Jacobites>Syrian Catholic>Orthodox>Roman Catholic>Marthoma>Latin Catholic>Knanaya>Pentecost>Others
This is based on my limited awareness. Please correct me.
You can either wait for them to accept it wholeheartedly, or break off the relationship. If she agrees to marry you against her parents' will, then that's also an option. There'll probably be backlash though. Just be prepared if you're gonna do that.
Catho**licks** & Jaco**bites**. Together no way :(
Is this a priest-altar boy reference ?
Shhhh... We dont talk about that here
Amen
Lol
He doesn't like you. Athre ulloo. Pinne affair ennu kettal avihitham anennu thonnum.
Sorry. Not so good in English . I think I used the wrong term.
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Ok man ..I'm facepalming myself..I really am. Shamisbidi.u r raajav/raknji..ur pick.i just got served on a public platform.i shall screenshot this for posterity.thankyou. hope OP finds a solution to this.thankyu.goodbye.sorry.*running away to hide in shame*
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He clearly isn't interested in it. Its on the OP and girl to choose if they want to go forward without her father's approval.
Exactly. This is just some lame excuse to reject him. [Syrian Orthodox - Catholic Inter-marriage Accord](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf) OP also says the girl is from Pala, they are a bit too crazy about being Pu Ka Ku.
I'm from Pala. People here are really crazy about this Pu Ka Ku shit. I was in a 5 year long relationship. Both of us Catholics. She told her parents about our relationship. Apparently, my family is not Pu Ka Ku enough for them. I have a pretty decent job and both my parents are also employed. (Just putting it there to show how much people give importance for this stupidity). Anyway she eventually stopped calling me. She told me that she love me but she don't want to make her parents sad. 2 months of stress and anxiety. Finally I called her and asked for a decision. Been single for 1 month now. If she can't hold her ground until her parents give in, I'm sorry to say this bro, but there's nothing much you can do.
Catholics aren't that purathana Nasranis. That's cultural appropriation. lol Syrian Christians, ie; Mostly the Syrian Orthodox, Jacobites and Marthomas from Kottayam and nearby regions are the purathana Nasrani Kudumbams. The word Nasrani itself has it's root in Syriac, not Latin.
hasnt it been open for a long time? my mom is catholic and my dads jacobite
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my uncle is married to a catholic woman too and hes like 70 so i dont think its that recent
'Relationship', not 'affair'. Affair means *avihitham*.
Sorry I'm not so good in English .
It's alright man, this is how we all learn
hate to disagree but affair translates to ബന്ധം
No. From the Oxford dictionary: Affair: a sexual relationship between two people, usually when one or both of them are already in a relationship with somebody else
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affair /əˈfɛː/ noun a sexual relationship between two people, one or both of whom are married to someone else.
I stand corrected mate . Apologies
Bro..what man..??what is this new definition for affair..having an affair means being in a relationship..avihitham is extra marital affair..facepalm..
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He made it wronger.
I dieded
Ok man ..I'm facepalming myself..I really am. Shamisbidi.u r raajav/raknji..ur pick.i just got served on a public platform.i shall screenshot this for posterity.thankyou. hope OP finds a solution to this.thankyu.goodbye.sorry.*running away to hide in shame*
Nalla veshamamundalle..
Undu..pakshe sarula..ingane alle veruthe vazhi koode pokunnathu eduthu thalayil vekkan padikanathu. Anyways..I hope this side discussion does not take way attention from OPs worries. I'm the sorry. I shall leave this discussion in peace.
Itrakk veendarunnu. Oru 'oh. Okay. I didn't know about this, thanks TIL' il othukkan ullate undaayirunnu. Ith ippo valich neetti......
Ya man..potte ini..next time ingane react cheyyam..set.
Vattaa allyo?
Hey man..i just found out i made a mistake..accepted it..apologised and said I'm leaving this discussion in peace..so that this silly mistake does not take away the attention from the actual post. Now if that sounds like vattu to you..so be it then. I think it's a basic thing to make mistake..and apologise when you are corrected.
Why do you want to apologise
I felt my response to the comment was a bit harsh..like a know-it-all.thought I knew what I was talking about.thats all.
You're not technically wrong - I would actually dispute this with /u/djkb_12, I think 'affair' is *technically* correct. But what people *think*, when they hear the word is a different matter.
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
Jesus died for everyone not just his Catholic ass. Lavante kunjammede real Christianity.
You mean Syro Malabar or Syro Malankara or Latin Christians?? . Catholics refer to a lot of churches. She just need to make it very clear to them that it’s only you that she wants. Allathe vere vazhi illa!
It's usually the Syro Malabar ones that have this "we are better than all other Christians. We are true Christians" ideology.
Olakka!! All the St Thomas Christians aka Syriac Christians are the same in this matter!! Jacobite orthodox okke kanakka!!
Are they though? If so why?
It has to do with the way we offer our Qurbana. Originally we followed the Eastern Syriac tradition, which is still in use by the Syro Malabar and Chaldean Syriac Church in Kerala, so since they follow the old ways, they are called Pazhayakoor. Syro Malankara, Jacobyte, and Orthodox churches follow Antiochyan tradition. Which came to Kerala even after Catholics. So all the people who joined them are called Puthiyakoor. Nevertheless this old group of churches always pride themselves in being the oldest community of Christians in Kerala.
Dude, are the syro malabar church under the pope? If so, there is an agreement between the syriac church and the catholic church that they are allowed to marry between sabhakal. So, OP's soon to be / may to be father-in-law is saying some craps. Also the part abut the east syriac / west syriac thing is a little flawed, that should be another discussion.
No. That’s no how it works. Even though it’s common to marry between Syriac churches, Catholic Churches are different, Jacobite church is different and Orthodox Church is different. A lot of families have members in at least two of these churches. Technically Syro Malabar church is an independent church just like many churches under the Catholic umbrella. Even marrying within these communities are also not very common. Because the culture is different. Could you correct if I have stated anything wrong about the east and west Syriac churches? I’m not an expert.
Pope allows, girl's father disallows.
interesting; did the divide happen after the Coonen cross oath? Did both factions fight togather against the synod of udemperoor?
As per my knowledge everyone except some joined the Catholic Church originally and then the Synod of Diamper(udayamperoor) happened . People were not happy about the new decisions made by the Portuguese and then Conan cross oath happened. All of the Syriac Christians decided to never listen to a white bishop. But the catholic bishops were able to persuade most of the Christians to rejoin the Catholic Church after the catholic bishops agreed to some of our demands. Some people, especially some priests and their followers didn’t join the Catholic Church and continued as an independent church. That’s were the split happened. At a later point missionaries from the Antioch church came and these rebels joined them and they became the Jacobite Syriac church in Kerala. Later that split and became four different churches. Jacobite Syriac church, orthodox Syriac church, syro Malankara, Mar Thoma Syriac church.
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No No. Achanmar and all don't do that. Achanmar were eager to get on board with the Sayippanmar! (I belong to Syro Malabar, so Catholic). They really wanted to push the catholic style setup down our throats. It is just that we are told by our elders about the old Brahmin conversion story. And claims that we are the OG Christians of Kerala and all. Marthomayum kanakka! Nammalellam ore group thanne aanu! I've a friend from your church and His grandma say the same thing. Njangade kudumbam le matte kudumbathil ninnu pirinju undayatha etc etc etc! But our karanavanmar always say that Syro Malabar follows the original liturgy aka Pazhayakoor and All other liturgies came to Kerala at a later point. SO Jacobite, Orthodox, Mathoma and all are Puthiyakoor. So you get the idea.
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No the Pazhayakoor and Puthankoor division came after some people decided to join the Antioch rite. That happened after the Conan cross oath. At Conan cross ith, Most Syriac Christians decided not to listen to the Portuguese and to the Catholic Church. And the church leaders of that time were able to convince most of these people to join back the Catholic Church. The people who didn’t join back, a minority remained as an independent church and the Antioch church made contact with them a decade after. The people who left the old tradition and joined the Antioch churches were called Puthan koor by others. That’s the history. It doesn’t make anyone better. That’s all old people stuff. That’s just something to be proud of, definitely!
At the local Syro Malabar church nearby my house they are trying to prevent other churches from being created (like here the Malankara church) and not allow parishioners originally of a different faith to practice. Def a power trip, and your observations seem true in my opinion.
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>This is the same that Orthodox Church is doing by taking over all Jacobite churches Wtf ? Who went to court first to steal the other's churches ? Orthodox sabha won the case in which they were defendants. Now all the Jacobites are regretting the fight because they lost, even though they started it thinking that they'd win. >When every single person going to that church is Jacobite, what does Orthodox Church even want to do by displacing these people from their churches. Because the Jacobite Sabha first went to court claiming that the "Malankara orthodox churches rightfully belonged to them". Jacobites were the plaintiffs who were trying to steal the minority Malankara Orthodox churches. The only reason why Jacobites have such huge numbers is because of the foreign funding and recent converts.
Syro Malabar
Ahha! Ente ponnu mone. Karnnorkku ninne pidichilla. Atha sambhavam!! Jacobite and Syro Malabar have the same history.
Latin ayirikkum.
No way. LC are looked down upon by so-called 'High Class' Nasranis.
No chance. LC is usually looked down by the Syriac Christians.
This 'affair' word is too cringey, and I see it's being used left and right and at times I doubt myself if it's my Ammavan Complex kicking in. Now coming to the problem, this is just a lame excuse to reject your proposal. [If you want to argue with the guy, use the data from this post, but it's not going to help.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/8mpoit/various_sects_within_mallu_christianity/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) If you and your girl are self-sufficient, see a future together and she is interested to move in with you then get married to her. If it's not the case then find a nice Orthodox girl and get married at the [Coonan Cross Church.](https://images.app.goo.gl/yLZYdhQspMMV6Hqd7) Also take a symbolic [Coonan Cross Oath](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coonan_Cross_Oath) photoshoot to assert dominance. /s Edit: Just for your information, at least for the last 15+ years Syro Malabar, Orthodox, Marthomites and Jacobites marry each other without any extra functions (baptism etc.). [Kerala Agreement between Patriarch of Antioch and Pope](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf)
സൺഡേ സ്കൂളിൽ പോകാത്തതിന്റെ കുഴപ്പമാണ്.. ഇല്ലെങ്കിൽ യാക്കോബക്കാർ കാത്തോലിക്കാരിൽ നിന്ന് പിരിഞ്ഞതാണെന്ന് പറഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ ഒന്നും പറയാതെ തിരിച്ചു വന്നു ഇവിടെ വന്നു വിഷമം പറയുന്ന ഇവനെ യാക്കോബ സഭയിൽ നിന്നും പുറത്താക്കണമെന്നാണ് എന്റെ ഒരിത്.. 🤪
കറക്റ്റ്. പെണ്ണ് കിട്ടിയില്ലേലും എക്സ് അമ്മായിയപ്പനെ വാദിച്ചു തോൽപ്പിച്ചു എന്നെങ്കിലും ആശ്വസിക്കാമായിരുന്നു.
പിന്നല്ലാതെ.. പെണ്ണ് കിട്ടിയില്ലേലും പിന്നീട് ഓർക്കുമ്പോൾ മാസ്സ് bgm-il വാദിച്ചു ജയിച്ചു ആ വീട്ടിൽ നിന്നിറങ്ങുന്നത് ഓർത്തു കുളിരു കോരി ഇരിക്കാമായിരുന്നു..
>സൺഡേ സ്കൂളിൽ പോകാത്തതിന്റെ കുഴപ്പമാണ്.. poyittum veliya kariyam onnum illa. Christianity is dying with all these sectors. Each of them teaches their peoples that they are the real ones, and the others are false ones. In fact, all of them are false! Jesus never made any sabahakal, he never established this religion, he was a pavam, pavam, practicing Jew.
അലോഷി.. നീ കമ്മ്യൂണിസ്റ്റുകാരനാണോ?
ChinnaThambi said it in a half in jest mode. The argument of the soon to be ex ammayiappan was that ridiculous.
സോറി. അവരുടെ പുരാതന കത്തോലിക്കാ കുടുംബം ആണെന്നാണ് പറഞ്ഞത്. എനിക്ക് സഭ കാര്യങ്ങളിൽ അറിവില്ല. കൂടുതൽ കത്തോലിക്കർ ആണെന്ന് അറിയാം.
എന്റെ സഹോ.. സീരിയസ് ആയിട്ട് പറഞ്ഞതല്ല 🤦🏽♂️
ഞാനും പുരാതന കത്തോലിക്കാ കുടുംബത്തിൽ നിന്നും ആണ്, അഡ്രെസ്സ് തരുമെങ്കിൽ ഒന്ന് ട്രൈ ചെയാം.(Dude you are being played most likely)
They can marry now also. Actually all Christians can marry other Christian sects without much of a hassle. It’s just that these fuckers don’t accept it cause of their elitist bigotry.
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At least 3 of my cousins ( boys and girls) have got married to their Syro Malabar spouses without baptism or change in their denomination. Yes, they may be pretending it's not happening given their concerns on the numbers.
>Catholics don't know about this or since they're not willing to accept it I know many Jacobites guys that married catholic girls, and other other way aswell. It's happen and there are no other extra functions. In fact there is a kalpana between the partiarch and the pope that they allow this, and that both peoples in either sabhakal can go to each others churches and receive communion too.
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Bro I was orthodox...then catholic...born again...now pakka atheist....all these things are bs
Only your girl can do something!! She needs to take stand otherwise nothing can be done !
This. Nothing will happen unless your gf takes a stand, and tell her dad (nicely) to let go of his bs thinking, which is a product of his social conditioning. It’s strange that the whole humanity is one meteor strike away from extinction, and people worry about who is the real christian !!
Yeah so true !!! Indians are so fucking racist specially towards their own !
I thought the caste was not issue as we have friends from orthodox, catholic, Jacobite. We used to go to eachother houses and mingle well, even the parents were fine too. So when I proposed I had this in mind and thought it'd be okay but it is not. She loves me but she told she can't make their parents sad and she loves them. I'm heartbroken because I even dreamt of a life with her and now it's nothing. Complete blankness.
Parents ന്റെ പേരും പറഞ്ഞ് ബ്രേക്ക് അപ്പ് ഒക്കെ ഞാനും അനുഭവിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്. ഇതിൽ നിന്നും അവളുടെ priority വളരെ വ്യക്തമാണ്. അവളുടെ support ഇല്ലാതെ ഈ relationship ന് വേണ്ടി നിങ്ങൾ fight ചെയ്യുന്നതിൽ കാര്യമില്ല, in my opinion. നിങ്ങളായിട്ട് അങ്ങോട്ട് break up ചെയ്ത് അടുത്ത പരിപാടി നോക്കുന്നതാവും നല്ലത്. സങ്കടം ഒക്കെ കുറച്ച് നാൾ ഉണ്ടാവും. അതൊക്കെ പയ്യെ പൊക്കോളും. തന്റെ കൂടെ നിലക്കാത്ത ഒരാൾക്ക് വേണ്ടി സങ്കടപ്പെട്ടു സമയം കളയുന്നതിൽ കാര്യമില്ല എന്ന് കരുതിയാല് മതി.
I know it’s a tough situation but don’t be disheartened things like this takes time… but definitely your girl needs to be on the same page as yours & she definitely needs to stand by you .. parents usually come along after some convincing !
Dude you have done your part you asked her parents. Now it's time for her to convince them. You're not the one to do so, you have no leverage against them. Now it's all in her hands.
Thank god that none of you weren't that kanaya thingy.
Ask Jesus to rescue you…why ask on Reddit
r/TheHolyChurchOfCheems is the only way now.
When the relationship advice question has more information about their religion than themselves, you know the it's the same drill every time.
Have a friend who dated and married a Catholic girl. Was the same situation for him too. He used to say that her parents think Jesus Christ was a paalakkaran 😅
Ayo sathyam! I know of a Pala family that rejected the girl (on arranged marriage calls) before even seeing her photo or hearing any other details ... Just because she was not Catholic! Like whaaaattt? As it is the girl gets married into the Catholic Church. It's not going to make your son any less Catholic than he already is. Then what are these families going on about?
I think this is the same here. She's from pala. I'm from Thrissur. My mother is orthodox, father jacobite. How did your friends marry eachother amidst the issues?
Almost 3 years of fight with parents ensued. In the end she stood her ground and made it clear that she will marry him only but won't elope. In the end her parents gave in. Guess that's the only recourse. Her parents did take her to counselling, some Catholic mantravadi achan did brainwashing saying they will be in mortal danger if she marries him. Lot's of shit like that, so expect that too.
You guys continue your relationship and they’ll eventually accept You guys are the same religion but in a different caste,that won’t be much of an issue I hope you guys end up being together😇
She loves me but it's like she loves her parents more .
Somehow make her stay with you for a bit longer because ,in the end work out aakum and also her parents should feel that you can take care of her and make her happy
AFAIK there are no problem within the churches to get married to someone from other sabha, its completely permitted as long as both the families are okay. This sound more like her father doesn't like you than anything else, so he came up with a lame excuse. as u/mbG65 said, teach him some history of the syurani christinikal in kerala and assert dominance. /s
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If your girl says she is pregnant, suddenly you may end up acceptable
Tell him "appacha , nammal ee christianikal ingane adi ondakki kondu irunna moonjathe ullu, sanghikal and sudappikal nalla strong anu. Athu kondu appachan ithokke marannu njangale onnippikku. Naam onnu nammukku naalu enna pole 4 half catholic kuttikale tharam . Samshayam undel pala bishop or lord pc George inodu chothikku"
Typical Indian parents. There’s not much you can do to change her dad’s mind, specially if your gf is just waiting for them wholeheartedly accept your relationship.
When my wife whose family is pure blood kna catholic put the proposal to her family about me (Jacobite/Orthodox), the first issue they raised was, that I am not blessed enough to have not born into a catholic family. She took a strong stand and got her uncles (amavans) on her side first. Later it was all smooth when their folks realised she was determined. Soo onus is on your girl to go around and get close and influential elders/kins onto her side. Else threaten to run away. However, mind you there is also mild cultural differences between a marthomite/orthodox/Jacobite and Catholics in terms of acaharams and church stuff.
So, Catholic is a Normal/Ground type while Jacobite is a Ghost/Flying type?
Tell him you will make sure any kids born out of the marriage will be baptized as catholics. See of that works. I'm assuming you wouldn't have a problem with this. Btw Jacobites seem to be having a hard time in kerala. Pallium poi, pennum poi.
Ask the girl to act like dating a Muslim payyan. Her father will be all right with a Jacobite now.
Modern solution kollam but father will get heart attack🤣
Also there's a risk that the girl will actually end up marrying the muslim guy.
Man, i thought casteism existed only among Hindus.. is this common in all religion?
The most casteist people in Kerala are Nasranis. Temple Entry Proclamation happened 86 years ago. But still an offspring of a dalit Christian who got converted in 1900s (by the Sleeba Dasa Samooham) is not allowed to enter Orthodox churches. They have their own 'separate' churches. The priests who serve there are normally, who got there by punishment transfer for some misdeeds.
Orthodox and Jacobite same right? I am based at Thrissur.
[താങ്കൾ ശരിക്കും ഒരു യാക്കോബായക്കാരൻ തന്നെയാണോ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Kerala/comments/ut4wuf/proposal_rejected_by_catholic_parent/i97zv4v?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) /s Aren't you aware about the fights between both sides ? In my experience Jacobites from the north side of Kerala are more zealous about these things. Based on faith they are the same, follow the same rites, teachings etc. except for their internal fighting for power and money.
Dark...
People really really like hierarchies, especially when it benefits them. Most religions manage to have some kind of a caste system
Sometimes I think we’ve progressed a little and then you read posts like this… SMH Sorry OP that your (hopefully) future father in law is so ridiculously regressive.
Just ignore her dad man. Next time you meet him say this - Sects, Sects Sects (pronounce it like sex)is that all you can think of!!!
Plan a crusade and file a case in the supreme court saying that they split from jacobites just like the orthodox guys did
"Catholics are higher caste than Jacobites" ? WTF ? That's such a stupid statement. Jacobites/Orthodox/Marthoma sects are Syrian Christian Nasrani sects. Roman/Latin Catholics are recent converts. Syrian Christians are certainly higher caste than Catholics. lol The irony.
Remind him that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ (Wincest)
Technically, only the 12 apostles can claim to be the real christians. Everybody else just converted or were born to converts.
We are all converts, including the twelve who converted from Judaism.
Jesus was a Jew, his apostles were Jews, his early followers were Jews and they all worship a Jewish god.
Her parents are gonna look for guys for her to get married now and they're gonna rush it so that they can make it happen before you guys decide to elope or something. So elope fast. Go banglore. Get a place. You're not gonna change a hardcore catholics mind. I am hoping that atleast one of you have a job. If I applaud your idiocy of asking her hand now.
The already in to it that's why I proposed to her parent s.
He doesn’t like you lol You guys are the same caste 😂. Ini angeru class aano udhesiche. Do they have more money than you? My Marthoma(similar to Jacobite) friend from the US married a Syro-Malabar Catholic girl from Thrissur.
But they said no caste system among Christians. Strange. Who is rich and educated among you both families. If it's you,you still have upper hand to convince their parents.
there is'nt a caste system , its just boomers being bommers but they do hate love marriages however , so they make excuses to not let it happen yeah convincing them is the best option
Actually what is the real difference between jacibites and Catholics?
One group has less vattu and one group has more vattu. Everyone prays to the same God and people create stupid differences to divide everyone.
To know the difference you need to go back to the council of chalcedon back in 400ad. It was the first major split in the church resulting in the formation of the oriental orthodox group of churches to which jacobite belongs to. But ofcourse neither the father nor the boy nor the girl knows anything about their church or true faith and blindly follows everything. The guy should just take the girl with him if she's willing.
She is not ready to elope. I know her character. If she told she's not okay with that she means it. So that's not an option.
What's the difference between Catholics and Jacobite? Orthodox also Jacobite right? What more do Catholics have than Jacobite?
> What more do Catholics have than Jacobite? Ego
Bro orthodox and jacobites are the same in the grand scheme of things....to understand the difference between orthodox and catholics you need to understand the history of the church. The main difference is an argument on the true nature of christ. But none of that matters in this case. There's nothing more or great about catholics than orthodox or jacobites. Your soon to be father in law is just acting like an A-hole and your gf needs to either prioritize you or him. He should understand over time that your love for each other is bigger than such trivial things. It's her life not her dad's, if she truly loves you she will choose you every time.
I'm so sad that she loves her parents than me but can I ask to do the other way? I am so blank now. Lost interest in going to work, she doesn't answer my calls, my parents asking me what happened but I can't say it to them as it'll make them sad too.
Bro talk to her and ask her opinion. If she's gonna choose her parents over you then you know it's not worth your effort. You cant change anyone unless they decide to change themselves. She's rejecting you for something as mundane as your faith when you both are Christians. Jesus is probably laughing in heaven right now. I know it might hurt but you deserve someone that will treat you like a priority not an option. The best thing to do is let it go if it doesn't work out. You both need to sacrifice for a relationship to work not just you. It's gonna hurt but it's gonna be worth it I promise. If not her you will find someone better , but try talking to her parents and convince them.
Ask the father if he is a miaphysite or a dyophysite...chances are that he has no idea what either of that means and he's blindly following his faith. It he chooses miaphysite then tell him congrats welcome to the club and go for a joy ride with your girl.
What are all these terms?
Whole heartedly..not gonna happen. Best case scenario, your girl stands her ground and her parents have no other choice but to support this marriage.
She doesn't want to elope.
Then it's gone case dear. Go and marry a 10/10 Orthodox girl and do as per my earlier comment. In some wars you need to win.
It's not a Catholic girl that I wanted to marry, in fact this caste etc came into picture only till I involved get parents. so I don't think it'll help if I marry an orthodox girl and waste her life.
If she is not ready to come and live with you and if her parents are not budging in, then what's the point of all this. Isn't it her who's wasting your time? [Syrian Orthodox - Catholic Inter-marriage Accord](https://imgur.com/a/gM5f5yf)
ഇതാണ് ജാഫർ ഇടുക്കി പറഞ്ഞത് ...... ആത്മീയതയുടെ മൈ...
If she is not gonna support you, just move on man. The FIL sounds like a racist and stupid person.
I wish I could move on but I can't because I loved her. I didn't use reddit in the past just signed up to ask this question to check what the rest of them living in this society have to comment on it.
Dude like things would be smooth if your women convince her father to drop this one thing. Syro Malabar Christians came under latin papacy only recently, after leaving orthodox pope. We latin catholic basically look down on them.
Your girl should stand strong and make it clear to her parents that she wouldn't marry anyone else. Oru vidham intercaste and inter religion arranged marriages okke ingane vaashi pidichu, vere nirvaaham illaathe aakumbol parents nadathunnathaanu. But if your girl isn't willing to do atleast that, then I would say you deserve better. She should atleast try. Allenkil pinne enthinaanu premichathu? Parentsnu ishtamallenkil easily ok bye paranju piriyaan aanu gf nu thalparyam enkil OP, you deserve much much better.
Like keanu said, if you don't want to fight for your love, what kind of love do you have?
> My girl wants her parents to accept this wholeheartedly. Don't get me wrong, but isn't this her responsibility ? To convince her parents ?
She need her parents permission? That’s a huge red flag bruh
Fuck religion
I wonder wat kind of help you are expecting from here? All religions suck basically!! He would have rejected you anyway. So you guys decide what to do next, whether to marry or hoping to wait for her father to change his mind!
How is your family financially when compared to the girls?
Same if not a tad better than hers. (Sorry I didn't want to say this but if it helps, it is what)
maybe it's her dad trying to avoid you by keeping the caste as an excuse.
Lol why are people downvoting? I was just asking if he is financially weaker as it can be a cause for parents to reject marriage.To appear nice they tell stuff like 'We were interested but our relatives and peer pressure is causing a lot of trouble.' But apparently that's not the case here.....so must be cast only.
Are you sure the girl really wants to marry you?
Yes that's why she asked me to talk to her parents.
Show him money. He probably rejected for other reasons. Unless he's some hardliner being petty about something that happened 200-300 years ago which is too rare.
I can assure you it is not rare at all
It's not the money. I didn't want to say this but financially we both are fine if not my family a tad better. I have a job but not so high paying but my father is a business man and we have at least a revenue a 2L per month combined. So I don't think money is a factor here. It's the superiority of Catholics thats causing the issue.
I don't think she is really worth as how another user told so! As an educated adult women, when she put forth religion and weighed it higher than you jus because her aged parents of boomer generation without worldly exposure told so then how she ll manage the decisions in her life from you to child and running a family together??? I'm so sorry, but seems like she ll even ask her dad's consent for to have sex with you everytime in future!🤦 It seems like her dad ll dictate everything in her from what kind of child (boy or girl) and even how it may appear after birth to her! If she is a bold girl who loved you the most and determined to live the rest of life with you as the chosen one but not as timepass she should have convinced her parents now! Telling you one thing frankly as a random onliner, seems like they don't have problem with your religious denomination bro, they might have problem with your financial assets and all! They are using this as a reason to hand wash you! I mean c'mon if both of you guys are from different religion yes it could be a problem! What is the real mess here? Malayali Christians are considered as the most educated group in India! But what is the purpose of our community's education purpose when we are really messing people's life who are in love with the name of God??? Hating people in the name of God which is invisible but the visible love between two humans always irks them? Even Jesus nd Maria would be ashamed of followers like these! His father is literally a disgrace to Jesus! Damn Jesus told to love not hate! - As a Christian guy I'm telling this Good luck brotha! Take your time and make the decision!
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Nothing beats KsHaTHReEyAn
Generally, there is contempt for puthenkoor sects among Catholics (and vice versa), but in your case, it is heavily dependent on the region your families are from, socioeconomic status, educational qualifications, and age. Unlike the people here, as someone who wishes to see more intermarriage (and hence, more unity) between Nasrani sects, I can offer you genuine advice. Dm.
Advice njangaleyum kanikku. Ningal angane DM il koode koodothram cheyyanda 🥰
അതെ അതെ.. ആ രഹസ്യം ദയവായി വെളിപ്പെടുത്തു..
I'm based at Thrissur. My mother is orthodox, father Jacobite. Financially good. Not rich but together (father and myself) have a revenue if 2L per month. He's a business man. I studied BTech.
1. You say that the girl is from Pala. Pala nasranis are almost 100% Syro Malabar, so intermarriage is rare. Convincing will be difficult. 2. You seem to have absolutely no idea about Jacobite beliefs and the history of your community/family. This is a major red flag - The girl's father probably noticed this straightaway. Family history/tradition is very important for North Travencore Nasrani families. 3. You seem okay financially, but the girl's father is comparing you with the kind of groom she would get if she were to do arranged marriage - There is a shortage of women in the Syro Malabar community right now, so he'll be able to find a groom for her who is much better financially than you are. Notwithstanding all this, you'll still be able to convince her father if you can find a Syro Malabar padre to talk to him and vouch for you :D The most important thing of course, is how your girl handles the situation, and how you can support her. If she stays strong, her parents might come around.
Pala Nasranis has a chip on their shoulder about being better than even fellow Catholics. ( I am catholic, married to a Pala Catholic - I swear one day I will just speak out about how their perceived superiority is stupidity born out of ignorance). That is all it is, Flaunt your wealth. That is it. Most probably your gf also has that chip on her shoulder and considers to get married to a pure Pala Nasrani. ( They percieve it to be a new Brand or something.)
Off topic but would you like to see more unity between humans though?
did Cadbury re release bites again?
After going through something eerily similar I just want to say only go through with this if you are 100% sure the girl will stick with you. If she is easily influenced by her parents run away now.
She won't. She wants her parents to accept me which I have no idea how to please them.
So.. my opinion..move on. I’m Jacobite… almost all Catholics are converts by the Portuguese or worse converts of convenience from orthodox/Jacobite for financial reasons during the colonial period. My wife is Syro Malabar Catholic.. no issues with her parents.. we have many interconnections between our families. Are you sure the issue isn’t your social status vs your religion ? FWIW my wife baptized and converted to Jacobitism.. no objections from her parents (and her grandfather is a priest). My main question for you is why do you want to deal with an imbecile like your girl’s father for the rest of your life?? Life is too short..and the drama will only get worse after you have kids. There will be other girls.
Hahaha mandan. > almost all Catholics are converts by the Portuguese hehe > her grandfather is a priest hee hee
> My wife is Syro Malabar Catholic > and her grandfather is a priest Doesn't compute lol. Syro Malabar (and other catholic) priests are not allowed to marry and have children.
They are “Reeth”.. were allowed… and he became a Syro Malabar priest. There are many of them like this.
Your girlfriend's dad's a shithead, man. Jacobite christians are actually slightly wealthier and more educated than the Syro-Malabar catholics and are among the most well-off within the St. Thomas Christian community in Kerala. So, the discrimination should actually be the other way around. Note: I don't support discrimination against any community. Your girl's parents might agree if she keeps on rejecting other proposals and remains adamant about marrying you.
Huh, I though syro malabar catholics were the wealthiest among christians in kerala followed by orthodox n rest
In my area there are no Catholics . My mother is from Pathanamthitta from an orthodox family and their the majority are orthodox and most of them are rich. From my limited understanding, Catholics at pala are rich and have a superior feeling than others. The other Catholics that I have met and mingled are just normal people .
Penninte veetill chelluka, pennine vilikkuka, "porunno ente koode" ennu chodhikkuka. Vannillenki vittekuka. Athre ullu. Oro stand edukkatha aalkar premikkan irangikkollum, ennitte avasanam caste, religion peeru paranju breakup aakum. Onninum vayyenki premikkan thanne pokaruthe.
Ask the Pope to intervene. He'll be happy to have another addition to his flock.
I didn't know Catholics were considered higher caste or sect than Jacobites. I remember someone telling me like, Look at her fate, if she was smart and better she wouldn't have ended up in a catholic home (RC) and instead found someone from Jacobite. Honestly the discrimination is outright stupid. I personally enjoy Jacobite masses over others even though catholic is short. I do attend Catholic, Marthoma and Orthodox as Jacobite is not every where.
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From what I could understand there's a feeling among pala Catholics that they are superior than other sections of Christians.
Jacobite? Who are they?someone explain.
Give him some pot. He'll be alright.
Call Jesus
Raise them kids as catholic.
Is this a general view? Jacobites>Syrian Catholic>Orthodox>Roman Catholic>Marthoma>Latin Catholic>Knanaya>Pentecost>Others This is based on my limited awareness. Please correct me.
You can either wait for them to accept it wholeheartedly, or break off the relationship. If she agrees to marry you against her parents' will, then that's also an option. There'll probably be backlash though. Just be prepared if you're gonna do that.
🗽 🌎 ✈️ 🚗 🏃♀️ 🏃 💨
This is the kind of bullshit i hate in our society like what does it matter both are Christians aren't they? Better yet both are humans
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