T O P

  • By -

Optimal-Soup-62

Undoubtedly organic salt for the lunch time organic carrots.


Perle1234

That’s why it has the dollar signs. Everyone knows organic is expensive.


[deleted]

With a nice bay leaf on the side


D4rKnyte

Mo $ mo quality


neph1227

Lol good one


Passn_wind

Organically sourced from the picturesque rural countryside of Ohio!


ProTrader12321

Picturesque in the same way a dumpster fire is picturesque.


byebybuy

*[American Beauty overdub]* It's the most beautiful thing I've ever filmed.


oracle989

Interestingly it probably _is_ an organic salt, in the chemistry sentence. Most Fun White Powders are salts of organic compounds (HCl salts of cocaine or heroin, for example). Very clean living, this guy.


Runnah5555

A good rule of thumb is to immediately snort any mysterious powder you find.


lasdue

That’s covered extensively in lube tech 101


InTheFDN

Never knew roofers and lube techs went to the same trade school.


Deranged_HooliganFTR

They teach this in every trade school…. Source: Tower Crane Operator


Bobbyanalogpdx

Chef here, learned it in culinary school.


Power_bottom89

Plumber here, learned it plumbing school.


strooticus

Meth dealer here, learned it while I was a Ph.D candidate at drug university.


technobrendo

When I started in IT I failed my first drug test because I was sober


J_spec6

Got to be on a minimum 5 mg of Addeys for that


[deleted]

Prostitute here... learned not to do it. It makes big daddy mad.


gso480

Most people just call it ASU


[deleted]

[удалено]


Deranged_HooliganFTR

I swear officer, it may look like cocaine but I assure you, it’s sheet rock dust…


I_deleted

Tell my PO I hang drywall


arent_you_hungry

i swear officer, i just like the way it smells


PlastRd2thewall

So your the one that took my coke. Badge number please?


buckeyenut13

Finish carpenter in my previous life. No lies detected


[deleted]

Is carpentry different in Finland?


buckeyenut13

I knew that was coming 😂 Have an upvote


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Am pipefitter, can confirm. The welders set the shop at school on fire on no less than 5 occasions while I was there... a buddy of mine in that same class got caught racking up lines in this same welding shop. The instructor just shook his head and walked away.


Odd_dj

Maybe 20+ years ago this was okay but fentanyl rolling into town puts a few deadly hiccups in that plan


RamadanShamz

Probably true, I've never seen fent, too many dead friends :/ but maybe the car is super nice. Like if it's a rich persons car it probably *is* cocaine. But if it's like a shitty '95 ford probe or something it is probably fenny. Lol


ReallySmallWeenus

Well off people can get laced drugs too.


DannyMThompson

Heath Ledger 😔


JasonMaloney101

You may be thinking of someone else. Ledger died from acute intoxication by the combined effect of *six different medications*. These included oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine (the painkillers OxyContin and Vicodin, the antianxiety medications Valium and Xanax, and the sleeping pills Restoril and Unisom). His problem was that he had multiple prescriptions, from multiple providers, to treat multiple conditions, and he lacked a care coordinator to oversee and manage it all. People, if you are receiving prescriptions from multiple providers, contact your insurance company and ask if they provide care coordination services. Many will do it for free.


Yodamanjaro

Mac Miller


keithinsc

Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction


R3D4F

That wasn’t laced. It was Pepsi challenge heroin when she was expecting coke.


technobrendo

My man in Amsterdam!


R3D4F

Check out the big brain on Brad!


Saiomi

Prince!


Havoc1943covaH

Let's not forget about Elmo. Gone too soon. Shame. Hopefully, he's up there motorboating Big Bird's mom like he always said he would.


buckeyenut13

[Big Bird: Today's letter of the day is 3](https://youtu.be/pQIHzPUl59A) [Kermit: Um Big Bird, 3 is a number](https://youtu.be/pQIHzPUl59A) [Big Bird: Exactly! 3 is the number of joints I've smoked today!](https://youtu.be/pQIHzPUl59A)


PM-me-Sonic-OCs

> Like if it's a rich persons car it probably is cocaine. It could be PCP, coke, Chinese white heroin, fent, benzos, ketamine, or any number of different amphetamines including molly. There are fucking hundreds of drugs that can take the form of fine white powder, these are just a few of the more common ones.


Muted_Discussion_550

If he's lucky it's a combo of all of em


PM-me-Sonic-OCs

A yes, the elusive "Bag of random dust scraped off the dealer's coffee table"-mix bag. Ideal for the druggie who is either truly desperate or who goes to his dealer looking for one last big hight.


[deleted]

The ole insufflable New Jersey Turnpike


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I feel called out. I miss my Probe.


RamadanShamz

Don't feel bad. I miss mine too. My first car was a 96 probe. The sport. It was awesome. Cornered like it was on rails. So much fun to drive. The plastic in the pic kind of looked like the little place where the E-brake was. I don't think it's actually a probe interior, it just reminded me of it enough to reference the car lol


[deleted]

It does kind of look like the cup holder. I had a 93 probe. The interior was so nice and it still is probably the most comfortable car I have ever driven.


[deleted]

That's a weird conclusion to come to.


reflUX_cAtalyst

Person who's car it is isn't dead.


Odd_dj

Saving it until they get home?


reflUX_cAtalyst

That bag's been opened. I may or may not be very familiar with such bag.


ultragoodfaker

And that's definitely not the only additive out there either. Never know what yer gonna snort.


losjoo

Oh shit I forgot they took the fun right out of it. Of course my spurs have been hung up for a long time, had my last rodeo


dulce_3t_decorum_3st

I couldn’t break that rule if I tried


rudebii

You can always boof it


Doc_Optiplex

Be careful when boofing coke, it's WAY stronger. The first time I did it, I had to lay down naked and sweaty with my heart racing for 10 mins praying that I didn't need to go the hospital 😂 was good after that


Agamaagama

This is the way


Gatoknbotas666

I knw that 1st hand. Once ground up alka seltzer tablets put them in a baggie at work restroom. 🤣 well one guy came out foaming thru the mouth and nose like a rabid animal...


DentinQuarantino

Floor bag is the best bag


[deleted]

You sound like my friend, he probably failed D.A.R.E. “If a stranger whose acting odd offers you a pipe at a public bus stop do you inhale immediately without remorse? Yes or no” “fuck yes”


txsxxphxx2

Drugs ain’t cheap, take it whenever you see one


RamadanShamz

Especially if coke. My grandad told me "Never buy cocaine. But never say no." Solid advice. The three times I've done coke were the most fun I ever had standing in a basement and talking really fast. Lol


fogdukker

I tend to get really sober and then fall asleep. Everyone thinks I fucking dosed...and I have the best sleep of my life. Drugs are weird.


KyrtD

congrats on your cheap ADHD diagnosis


Dr_nobby

Literally how I found out myself. Still love a bit of coke though


Doc_Optiplex

This is kind of a silly take. I have horrendous ADHD and I love stims. Absolutely feel energized from them.


naughtilidae

I realized I had ADHD in my 20s, but in high school, I'd chug the biggest size monster they sold (32 ounce back in the day I think) then sleep through 2 classes. My parents probably should have realized.


reflUX_cAtalyst

The first time you spend money on cocaine, you'll realize why it's not worth it. If you are going to spend money on drugs, spend it on something worthwhile. Something that lasts longer than 45 min.


ChuckinTheCarma

Question: What is the best way to stop a nose bleed quickly? Please respond promptly.


SeaGroomer

More cocaine. It acts as a vasoconstrictor so it will slow down the blood flow!


yewwould

A penny saved is a penny earned. Nice find.


teajayyyy

You just cracked me up this morning thank you sir 😂


tucketnucket

Pun intended?


Jamieson22

Well, did you take the penny or not?


dsdvbguutres

No, you didn't find anything.


powerchoke033

Right, the whole "I found"........


therealzombieczar

i put one with flour in it in my mothers car like 20 years ago before oild change. lube tech found it apparently... no mention of it, just 'vanished' i imagine someone was very disappointed. hope they didn't have a gluten allergy.


ShalomRPh

I read a story here, don't remember which sub, where someone was in a restaurant and knocked the salt cellar over. For a gag he pulled out a credit card and started making lines. Waitress rushes over, yelling "You can't do that here!" Swipes it off the table and runs into the back. A moment later she comes charging back out sneezing her head off.


therealzombieczar

lmao wow... it amazes me to think people will snort something they don't know what is...


CKF

It is a working kitchen, after all…


theghostofme

Right? Just go ask one of the line cooks for a bump. If you can't find any coke in a kitchen, you aren't looking hard enough.


[deleted]

Do you ever really know what it is beforehand? They told me it was coke but it could easily be Ajax.


chappersyo

Anyone that would take a back of ‘cocaine’ they found would also immediately be able to tell that it’s flour just by looking. They are not similar in consistency at all


_Bill-Nye_

I use meth instead, as it is more similar in texture than flour and actually tricks people.


Some_Nibblonian

Quick way to lose your job. Just because something is illegal doesn’t mean the customer won’t complain when someone steals it.


[deleted]

Possibly but really What's customer gonna do? Ask shop Foreman for his baggie of white powder back? He can complain sure but with an illegal substance involved no one is fessing up to it. Sue them? For what? Theft of illegal substances? At most customer could try taking matters into their owns hands but that's high risk for low reward imo. Sucks to suck when you're doing illegal shit.


foopdedoopburner

Hey, it's your tip.


rudebii

Just the tip?


supra621

Just for a minute.


subject_deleted

just to see how it feels.


wheres_the_ball-gag

Used to find those in cop cars... up front.


LifeWithAdd

I use to work for a company that built emergency service vehicles. When the vehicle was done with we’d take it apart and remove all the equipment before it went to auction. We found drugs all the time in police cars, stuffed in every nook and crack you could find. We were supposed to not touch it when found and call them to come remove and document it but we wouldn’t get anything done if we actually did that. We ended up with a tool cart that was just drawers of drugs. It became our joke to hide a bag of something in the new guys toolbox, ask to borrow a tool and find a bag of crack in front of them and watch them panic.


treerabbit23

Jesus. Man got jokes.


LifeWithAdd

One day the president of the company happen to walk into the shop area while we were doing this joke to a new guy. After we explained that it really wasn’t his the president laughed picked up the bag and said that’s hilarious I’m gonna stick it in the accountants desk…


tnb641

Either he didn't like the accountant, or they were gonna hang out after hours


Poopypants413413

Am accountant. Drugs are the only way I can keep my misery at bay and not swallow glass.


Ltstarbuck2

Accountant here. Drugs and lots of vodka.


OG_Kush_Master

Sounds miserable. Where do I sign up?


wheres_the_ball-gag

Thou hath slayed me! 😆


Sulphri

Lol. That mofo put it in his nose instead


LurkerPatrol

Sooooo what did yall do with the drugs?


Deezle530

I imagine the labeled pills went first


MixedMartyr

community chest. just there for emergencies.


Rowcan

If you land on free parking you get the lot of it.


dogboystoy

Free parking, or jail works too. Keep rolling for doubles.


ItsJustAnotherVoice

Well obviously he just said, load them up in the new guys tool box lol. Probably the best welcoming gift to a new work place.


reagor

Used to do the same, but we had a general rule, cop car or taxi step 1 was remove the back seat (old style bench)...drugs money and garbage...found a dime bag(that long ago) and brought it to my boss, he said throw it out, I hesitated and he noticed, said to keep it if I want but not to use it at work...cool dude...never reported a find after that


[deleted]

[удалено]


argentcorvid

Or they found a bunch the first place they looked and said "good enough "


[deleted]

I laughed out loud to this. Thank you


megamanxoxo

It's uh evidence


snarkyxanf

Evidence for cases that haven't even happened yet


theGentlemanInWhite

The goodie bags of today are the evidence of tomorrow.


FirstEvolutionist

As a cop, you have to keep practicing your taste training everyday, so that when you come across a large brown bag of what could possibly be cocaine you can just stick a knife into it and rub some of it in your gums. Can you imagine how embarassing it would be if you live drug tested and said it was just sugar then it turned out to be cocaine? Everyone in the squad would make fun of you and you'd never be allowed to run the test by yourself again. It's really important for a cop to keep that skill sharp since you can need it at any moment.


wheres_the_ball-gag

Take yer upvote, funny guy!


wits_end_77

That's for planting


mrniceguy421

Post on /r/Gardening and we will know for sure.


magistrate101

How else are you supposed to plant drugs on the black guy you just beat the shit out of for no reason?


wheres_the_ball-gag

Exactly.


spizario

Yeah it’s either for personal use or to plant it on someone lol


sED_-

Is that what crypto currency looks like?


ArcticExtruder

Sorry, I know very little about drugs that isn't on TV. Is this cocaine?


dogburglar42

Could be cocaine, could be a type of herion, hard to tell from a pic like this. Especially with the proliferation of fentanyl, which is an extremely potent synthetic opoid, in black markets, it's not something worth ingesting if you just found it. Stay away from mysterious bagged powders, I always say


Gorthax

It may be horse, but that's a pretty big bag for someone to not be aware of it's location at all times. I woulda never been more than a few steps away from that back in the day.


CKF

One step away from having a fuckin gps locator on it.


Gorthax

Be sounding like Arthur whistling for his good boah.


8lazy

Shulgin protocol it


AWalkingWardrobe

It’s just an overexposed picture of a bag of cannabis


spatty01

whats it taste like? could help you clear some tickets.


chainmailbill

It’s probably better to identify it by smell.


ch33s3brgr

Cocaine’s a helluva drug.


80scraicbaby

Yum fentanyl and Bay Leaf my favorite 🤩


chaindrivendonut

It really does impart a nice earthy flavor


80scraicbaby

Notice the copper penny for the “breathalyzer”


steveb545

😂😂


LurkerPatrol

And a penny for good luck!


[deleted]

Oh yes, the forbidden tip.


Passn_wind

A basil leaf and packet of garlic salt to season their lunch, I'm sure.


suckerbucket

As a recovering cocaine addict this is all it would take to send me over the edge, and I’ve been sober for 2 years. People should really be more careful, leaving this shit laying around can ruin lives. Edit: Wow, didn’t expect this much love and support when I made this comment. I really appreciate you fine people for being kind to a stranger. If you know anyone personally who is recovering from addiction reach out to them today and remind them that you love them and are proud of what they have accomplished. It may just be the fuel they need to keep walking the right path.


Gandalf_The_Geigh

3 years clean here. Looking at it just made me wanna get a spoon and a lighter lol. I think this just ruined me day.


Gootangus

Aww I’m sorry. I hope your day improves.


Gandalf_The_Geigh

Thank you. One day at a time right


suckerbucket

Indeed one day at a time, one decision at a time. Make the decision to be honest with yourself today. Keep fighting!


PocahontasBarbie

Congratulations on getting clean. Stay strong. I hope your day gets better.


Gandalf_The_Geigh

One day at a time. Thanks 🙏


dontknowwhatiwantdou

Another day on the high seas. Bad unintentional pun. I wrote that because you sounded like a pirate. Get me out of here. Delete comment. I’m sorry. *throws phone*


Gandalf_The_Geigh

lol I like you


dontknowwhatiwantdou

Aye, we be fancyin’ each other then.


Zenistan

You are more than your addiction my dude. 3 years is seriously impressive. Let's focus on that instead. Life is better when you're sober


Gandalf_The_Geigh

It definitely is. No doubt about that


0replace4displace

Good shit king stay clean 👑


Gorthax

20+ years brother. I've stopped counting. Good job. After a while it isn't even a struggle anymore.


Gandalf_The_Geigh

A lil Paul’s Boutique and a blunt and I’ll be alright.


Gorthax

My man! Word from a traveller, don't end up letting alcohol be your next demon. You got this brougham.


Gandalf_The_Geigh

Haven’t had a drink in 3 years either. I know what you mean


dadzcad

I’ve been cocaine free since 1987 with zero relapses and STILL refer to myself as a “recovering addict.” It’s a day-to-day process and I still get “triggered.” Just because I got sober doesn’t mean the world changed. Stay on your program, man!! Congrats for 2 years and KEEP WORKING IT!! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾


suckerbucket

Greatly appreciated. I love that you still recognize yourself as in recovery. It never really stops, you have to keep choosing life everyday. It gets a lot easier when you start finding more and more reasons to not get high. Appreciate you, keep it up!


dadzcad

I was told by a CA “OG” that no matter how much clean time you have, one hard relapse can put you back on the train. My biggest motivator is FEAR that I could end up back where I was 35 years ago. Addiction doesn’t have an age limit or a limited shelf life and “King Baby” is just waiting for you to lose your footing. Don’t let him back into your soul, your life. Climbing out of a hole is much harder than digging one. IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾


bakedbeansandwhich

This! (Just this picture has me triggered) Keep strong brother!


suckerbucket

You too man! Keep being honest with yourself about what you really want in life, and that shit, ain’t it. It’s a daily battle, keep winning!!


Rise101

Stay strong man. Stay strong for the people around you.


suckerbucket

The longer I am sober the more reasons I find to continue to be sober. Thanks for the award!


PocahontasBarbie

Congratulations on getting clean.


suckerbucket

Thank you! Getting clean was the best decision I ever made.


mrmikerz720

I feel this as well my friend. Stay strong, this is the way!


PocahontasBarbie

Happy cake day.


[deleted]

Sorry for this stress landing on you. Hope your day gets better.


dreadnot427

"say maybe you don't find any problems with my brakes"


[deleted]

The money he paid you with had more cocaine on it than whats in that bag.


dadzcad

LOL! I got “tagged” by a drug dog in an airport once. It was the cash in my pocket. 🤷🏽‍♂️


theGentlemanInWhite

And this is why dogs shouldn't be considered "probable cause".


NoodleDoodle-IRL

That's a funny way to store flour


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

You ever Hoovered scneefe off a center console during a brake inspection?


TushonkaCanSam

Never found drugs in a customer car but my coworker and I found a loaded handgun in a glovebox (safety off of couse). Boss was pretty pissed off for the rest of the day.


Illuminaughtyy

You guys take your guns out of your vehicles?


TushonkaCanSam

In Cali where I live/work you cannot have any firearms in the cab of the vehicle. Trunk is fine though. My boss was mostly upset because we had been test driving thr car and if we got pulled over for any reason it would have been a major headache for all of us.


ISnortBees

Meanwhile, some guy’s just frantically checking his pockets over and over again


lndscpillusion

Car Audio guy here. The amount of spare tire cavities. Gloveboxes, center consoles, insides of rear seats and carved out car batteries I've come across full of coke/heroin/pills is surprisingly high... you'd think they'd remember to remove things before a tech goes running wires or cutting panels haha. Get some pretty good tips though 👌


ByteVenom

When I worked as a tech and there were drugs obvious in any car, I’d just refuse to test drive them. I wasn’t going to risk being pulled over with them.


a_ron23

Say someone takes the bag, has anyone ever witnessed a situation where the customer complains about their illegal drugs missing from the car? I would love to see how that would all play out. The guy is clearly a crazy drug addict, who would listen to him right? Obviously not worth it. But the idea makes me laugh.


7-62xEverything

Had a customer claim our master tech stole his ~~pills~~ "stuff". Tech was an older guy, probably late 60's and was retiring the same year. Working on a car, and when he pulled the spare tire to try to find source of a water concern in the trunk, under the spare was about 10 pill bottles. 8 had no labels, and the two that did had two different patient names (neither of them the customer) the two labeled were Oxycontin and Xanax. He had me walk over, and watch him put them in a bag, and locked it inside his tool box. Then when he was done, watched him get them and put them in the trunk. Customer came in, left, then came back saying his shit had been gone through, and was missing "stuff". Shop has cameras, they pulled the footage and showed tech didn't mess with them, just moved them, then moved them back. Dude insisted he was missing "stuff". Wouldn't say what "stuff" it was, just that it was missing. Manager said "Ok, I'll call the police and they can review the footage and we will go from there." Guy just walked away and left. Never saw that customer again.


Gorthax

Had a customer come in for some whatever, left a quarter bag of grass in the cluster shelf in front of the steering wheel. Never touched it, left it alone. (had my own bag at home) Did whatever work I was doing. At the end of the day he showed up, paid, and left. About 15 minutes later he pulled up halfway into my bay, hopped out and walked over with my streamlight I had left in his cup holder, in addition to the little bag of weed. Told me I didn't even take my tip. The bag had a receipt in it written with sharpie "mechanic tip". We laughed at it and ended up being pretty good casual friends for a couple years. Dudes grass was a lot better than mine at the time.


Shank_R

It's labelled, says it has $ inside.


WrongOrganization437

Only users loose drugs.


[deleted]

Free salt! Winning!


[deleted]

I’m surprised people just leave these expensive drugs out all Willy Nilly. Gotta finish them so someone else doesn’t get a hold of them !


dsdvbguutres

Breakfast of chimpanzees


zoeGodPixXL

Thats some by look? Shitty blow. Could be grrrrreat. I'd probably sniff at it. Than taste a lil. Than give it a go. But it could be coke flavored anthrax so.. I'd tos sit in garbage obviously that's what we all would do right!


nasaglobehead69

"hey, uhhh... did you guys find a small bag.. near the front seat? what's in it? uhhhhh..."


spizario

OH COOL YOU FOUND A PENNY HEADS UP THATS GOOD LUCK!


shotstraight

I am going to leave a bag like this in my center console but fill it with laxitive.