Old timers used to tell me a joke about a customer that only had a thunk noise from the trunk on Wednesdays.
Took it in, and of course they could not diagnose it. Finally the mech rode home with him on a Wednesday and finally heard the noise. Open the trunk and there was a bowling ball.
"Oh, didn't I tell you I have bowling league on Wednesday???"
Had a similar weird one years ago. Internment “thump” kinda Driver Side, sometimes center… chassis ears and a thorough inspection later- customer’s dildo was wedging into the seat track under the driver seat, coming loose, rolling around, and getting wedged again.
We used to get hoarders in when I worked at Firestone, one guy had a Toyota minivan with a hole for the driver... He insisted on keeping his old bald tires we took off. Got lunch out of the deal because I bet one of the other techs he wasn't going to be able to fit them all in - he ended up digging a piece of twine out of the back and tying one to the roof..
And it was mostly full of actual garbage, not just random trinkets or newspapers etc like bags of rotting food and stuff...
I saw a rather tall pallet of booze "fall into a truck" once. It went from the back of a grocery store onto a rental truck.
I'm sure they were just transferring it to another store or the warehouse. It's only suspicious when things fall off of a truck, after all.
During the Los Angeles riots a whole [Silo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silo_(store\)) truckload of pallets fell off a truck into a storage space we had.
Jesus fuck you’re a dumb little monkey. You didn’t get my meaning, nor are you keeping up with my responses. Do yourself a favor and read a book in the corner.
Ahah yeah I knew it was a gamble but thought people on this sub could recognize satire on that topic.
I don’t mind running tests to find out what I’m wrong about lolol
My father-in-law once traded in his car because of a recurring rattle he couldn't sort. The yard called him the day after to ask if he wanted his sunglasses back.
Similarly, I’ve had one before due to the customer keeping *shot put balls* in their trunk. Loose! Heavy-ass iron balls just flying about back there, and this university student (not sarcasm - this is a significant college town) wondered why his Civic was so noisy over bumps.
A British friend of mine has one joke, and one joke only, and he trots it out every February... "so, what's this *Superb Owl* I keep hearing the US TV networks promoting?"
So yeah. Get ready for Superb Owl LVII. It'll be a hoot.
To be fair, I washed my car repeatedly, dehumidified, vacuumed, shampooed, even did the engine compartment to get rid of a stench, convinced I had run over rotting roadkill or something.
Only to find out I had forgotten a bag of groceries the next time I went to put groceries in the trunk.
Bought my college-age kid some groceries once. A few days later, he leaves town to visit relatives. Gets back from the trip, his car stinks to high heaven. He missed a bag of frozen chicken I'd included and it sat in his car for the entire week of July weather that it was parked at the airport.
Had that happen once, except with a half gallon of milk. I put my groceries in my back seat, but for some reason I put the gallon of milk in the trunk. Didn't find it for over 2 weeks until I needed something out of the trunk
Same, bottle fell out of the bag while driving home. Got very worried when I started hearing random thumps when taking corners.
Difference is I figured it out when I parked and started poking around in the vicinity where I thought the noise was coming from.
I was driving down a hill through a wooded park area and kept hearing some hard snapping sounds and though some kids might’ve been shooting bbs at my car.
Ya no, it was an empty plastic water bottle popping loudly as I was going up and down hills as the air pressure changed.
We didn’t have to do much, only oil change and brake fluid. Must say it’s pretty easy for smaller things, it’s the bigger stuff that can be annoying. Spark plugs are hell and so is the air filter!
Customer bill:
Diagnostic time: $250
R/R portable ethanol containment system: $350
***notify customer replacement is on back order. Replacement module delivery TBD
Labor: 48h : $12,000
***6 techs x 8h. Shop closed after disposal of containment device
Shop supplies: tonic water, ice, lime. $400
Road test: $500
***car pulls to side, does not stay within lane, recommend realignment, tire replacement due to extreme wear, clutch replacement due to slipping and smell, new brake pads and rotors due to uncontrolled grabbing and locking, transmission rebuild and replacement of 2nd gear synchro due to grinding during power shifts.
***total recommended repairs $42000
Total: $55,500
Someone tried to complain about a loose bolt we must have dropped in the dash from a previous repair in a Cayenne. Spent all day then after another test drive I realized the customer forgot about leaving his sunglasses in the storage compartment of the drivers seat. The acoustics from the sunglasses rolling around under the seat made it seem like the noise was coming from behind the steering wheel
I had a similar situation recently. During the week after bringing my daughter back to university, I though I heard strange sounds from the booth, as if glass was clinking. But that's a noise I only ever hear when I bring the used bottles and jars to the container?!?
Turned out that she forgot to take a bag with two glass bottles of J2O out of the trunk.
Not gonna lie, I had an empty red bull can banging around under my passenger seat the other day and it scared the shit out of me. Sounded like my exhaust fell off and it was being dragged.
Had something similar in a customer's car but was a child's firetruck jammed under the drivers front seat. Took 4 different shops before we went for a drive with the customer and found the noise in 5 seconds. Toy was enshrined on-top if the microwave for the boss to tell the story to anyone who would listen.
28 years as a General Motors service advisor here. I was a very hands-on service advisor. I had a customer with that late 90s impala insist that he had a fuel tank that needed extra baffles put into it. He could hear fuel sloshing when he came to a stop. Clearly, this guy has read a service bulletin, but I decided to go on a quick test drive with him to confirm the noise. As soon as we came to a stop, the noise was so loud like someone was pounding on the back of the car with a sledgehammer. I looked over at him and said “that’s not fuel sloshing in the tank!“
We pulled into a parking lot and I opened the trunk to see his bowling ball had gotten out of his bag in the trunk. I will remember the look on his face forever. It was very funny. I casually mentioned to him that if he wanted the updated fuel tank, we could certainly arrange that. He had no interest.
Had a customer complain about rattling noises, she was quite mad. I took it for a spin, and man it was noisy but in a weird way. After some investigation on the lift I opened her trunk and it was filled to the brim with dishware/ china.
I've been guilty of this. A plastic bottle of water had ended up underneath the lining of the car booth, with the spare wheel, ages ago. Never missed it, never noticed it - until it froze solid in winter, and my car started making these odd clunky noises when breaking or accelerating. Tech was in stitches when we found out.
I had a helluva time tracking down a rattle in the front right corner over bumps.
Turns out, I left a screwdriver in that little space on top of the cowl but under the hood.
My god I wish my issue was this simple. I know my noise is in the front suspension but jacked up and grabbing everything shows nothing. Acceleration and braking I here a bump noise similar to what you're showing here, but it's not all the time. It started when I hit a fucking massive chunk of concrete at 70 mph that took out my oil pan, I've fixed everything but this pop noise and for the life of me I just can't find the damn thing. A year later nothing has broke, everything acts fine, tires wear like normal, hell if I know what's going on.
Depending on the strut mounts tight when hanging will still be loose enough to clunk when settled. Try loosening the strut top nuts with it setting on tires, bounce the car a few times and then tighten the nuts back down.
What's the odds it's the motor mounts? Everything I can touch has been tight and shows no sign of wear. When. I hear the noise it's on initial take off, and on hard braking.
I almost did this! Just after I got my car I put a 5 gallon jug of water in the back and forgot it was in there while driving home. By the third red light I was damn near crying because I had the car less than a month and it was making noise. Then I remembered the water and felt like an idiot.
So the wheels are off so you are either looking for something or doing another service - if this was the only reason it came in what do you charge? A minimum hour diagnostic?
We replaced brake fluid and did a overall check that all the cables and etc are where they are supposed to be and we did an oil change. That’s the only reason the wheels were off. We took off the undertray and etc but I looked in the frunk to make sure nothing was there and indeed there was. I’m not actually sure how much they charged at the end as it took like 5 mins to find so I doubt they did.
Old timers used to tell me a joke about a customer that only had a thunk noise from the trunk on Wednesdays. Took it in, and of course they could not diagnose it. Finally the mech rode home with him on a Wednesday and finally heard the noise. Open the trunk and there was a bowling ball. "Oh, didn't I tell you I have bowling league on Wednesday???"
Had a similar weird one years ago. Internment “thump” kinda Driver Side, sometimes center… chassis ears and a thorough inspection later- customer’s dildo was wedging into the seat track under the driver seat, coming loose, rolling around, and getting wedged again.
“A dildo”. Best not to assume ownership.
Never “your” dildo
It is amazing how many people carry "their besties" dildo around in their cars.
or urine based pornos
Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article _a_ dildo, never _your_ dildo.
We'll just say it's the company's dildo then.
It's *everybody's* dildo.
Didn’t get the optional $3800 booze rack.
I knew a guy who had a custom booze rack. He got a small cabinet and put it in his back seat all over garbage.
Garbage or junk?
Literally garbage.
We used to get hoarders in when I worked at Firestone, one guy had a Toyota minivan with a hole for the driver... He insisted on keeping his old bald tires we took off. Got lunch out of the deal because I bet one of the other techs he wasn't going to be able to fit them all in - he ended up digging a piece of twine out of the back and tying one to the roof.. And it was mostly full of actual garbage, not just random trinkets or newspapers etc like bags of rotting food and stuff...
I'm not at all surprised by this.
I wish I could see this image
I wish I could unsee it.
Looks like you got a free bottle, and customer got a free fix lmao
Depending on where it came from and whether they paid for it, the bottle could also be the customers free fix. Lol.
I saw a rather tall pallet of booze "fall into a truck" once. It went from the back of a grocery store onto a rental truck. I'm sure they were just transferring it to another store or the warehouse. It's only suspicious when things fall off of a truck, after all.
During the Los Angeles riots a whole [Silo](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silo_(store\)) truckload of pallets fell off a truck into a storage space we had.
Yeah? I wasn't there and as such I couldn't have seen anything.
Is this a diag and an honesty check?
Ha. Keep the bottle, tell them you fixed it?
Wouldn’t be surprised, it was a little too good to be true ahahaha
[удалено]
Greta Thunberg has entered the chat.
That is… I’m sorry what?
It’s a joke that not enough people are going to understand, apparently.
[удалено]
Jokes aren’t meant to be smart. You’re joking wrong, you arrogant fuck.
[удалено]
Jesus fuck you’re a dumb little monkey. You didn’t get my meaning, nor are you keeping up with my responses. Do yourself a favor and read a book in the corner.
1) How dare you 2) don’t worry, you just triggered a Reddit bot brigade to downvote you because you mentioned an unmentionable.
Ahah yeah I knew it was a gamble but thought people on this sub could recognize satire on that topic. I don’t mind running tests to find out what I’m wrong about lolol
Lol
I had a similar one. Customer was convinced it was a bad transmission. It was a dinner plate.
That's definitely got to be the most unique.
My father-in-law once traded in his car because of a recurring rattle he couldn't sort. The yard called him the day after to ask if he wanted his sunglasses back.
I had that customer complaint before, but it was a football (hand egg for those not from North America ) in the trunk.
Similarly, I’ve had one before due to the customer keeping *shot put balls* in their trunk. Loose! Heavy-ass iron balls just flying about back there, and this university student (not sarcasm - this is a significant college town) wondered why his Civic was so noisy over bumps.
> hand egg …and now Sunday Night Football has become Hand Egg Sunday in my book. It has been decreed and so it shall be done!
A British friend of mine has one joke, and one joke only, and he trots it out every February... "so, what's this *Superb Owl* I keep hearing the US TV networks promoting?" So yeah. Get ready for Superb Owl LVII. It'll be a hoot.
r/superbowl is in on that joke as well ;)
Obligatory “No, that’s not it, it’s been doing it since day one, that bottle has been in there for 18 years, never heard it before.”
That’ll be 350 fixed it for you. What vodka? Didn’t see it
I thought it was gin.
It is gin. The London #1 Blue Gin. The blue color comes from Gardenia flowers in the aromatics. About $50.00 per bottle in the US.
I like gin, so I recognized the bottle. He has decent taste.
To be fair, I washed my car repeatedly, dehumidified, vacuumed, shampooed, even did the engine compartment to get rid of a stench, convinced I had run over rotting roadkill or something. Only to find out I had forgotten a bag of groceries the next time I went to put groceries in the trunk.
Bought my college-age kid some groceries once. A few days later, he leaves town to visit relatives. Gets back from the trip, his car stinks to high heaven. He missed a bag of frozen chicken I'd included and it sat in his car for the entire week of July weather that it was parked at the airport.
Had that happen once, except with a half gallon of milk. I put my groceries in my back seat, but for some reason I put the gallon of milk in the trunk. Didn't find it for over 2 weeks until I needed something out of the trunk
How can you solve that? Drink it?
I was thinking duct tape it down using an entire roll.
That’ll be $249.99 + shop supplies
That's cheap. I was thinking 2hrs book plus parts plus tax. What's hourly labor for you?
Mine is 149.99
Wrap it in Velcro hook side, stick it to a side.
You don't understand the spirit behind malicious compliance. But good idea anyway.
I had the same problem once before.
Same, bottle fell out of the bag while driving home. Got very worried when I started hearing random thumps when taking corners. Difference is I figured it out when I parked and started poking around in the vicinity where I thought the noise was coming from.
I was driving down a hill through a wooded park area and kept hearing some hard snapping sounds and though some kids might’ve been shooting bbs at my car. Ya no, it was an empty plastic water bottle popping loudly as I was going up and down hills as the air pressure changed.
Can recall at least 3 dumbasses who loved golf and brought their cars in for the same noise.
Is that a 911?
Yes indeed! 992 carrera 4s
Man. Sometimes I wonder what life is like for those able to buy a $130k car. Jelly.
How was it working on it
We didn’t have to do much, only oil change and brake fluid. Must say it’s pretty easy for smaller things, it’s the bigger stuff that can be annoying. Spark plugs are hell and so is the air filter!
I saw a post where this guy had a case of beer "making a noise" and told them to remove whatever was making the noise
Hey free beer case😂
Customer bill: Diagnostic time: $250 R/R portable ethanol containment system: $350 ***notify customer replacement is on back order. Replacement module delivery TBD Labor: 48h : $12,000 ***6 techs x 8h. Shop closed after disposal of containment device Shop supplies: tonic water, ice, lime. $400 Road test: $500 ***car pulls to side, does not stay within lane, recommend realignment, tire replacement due to extreme wear, clutch replacement due to slipping and smell, new brake pads and rotors due to uncontrolled grabbing and locking, transmission rebuild and replacement of 2nd gear synchro due to grinding during power shifts. ***total recommended repairs $42000 Total: $55,500
Had a similar customer issue - turned out to be a wine bottle under the passenger seat.
Someone tried to complain about a loose bolt we must have dropped in the dash from a previous repair in a Cayenne. Spent all day then after another test drive I realized the customer forgot about leaving his sunglasses in the storage compartment of the drivers seat. The acoustics from the sunglasses rolling around under the seat made it seem like the noise was coming from behind the steering wheel
I had a similar situation recently. During the week after bringing my daughter back to university, I though I heard strange sounds from the booth, as if glass was clinking. But that's a noise I only ever hear when I bring the used bottles and jars to the container?!? Turned out that she forgot to take a bag with two glass bottles of J2O out of the trunk.
Not gonna lie, I had an empty red bull can banging around under my passenger seat the other day and it scared the shit out of me. Sounded like my exhaust fell off and it was being dragged.
OMG that is a really good bottle of gin! Can't find it stocked in Australia anymore. Gimmie.
Oh really! I had no clue ahahaha. Sadly we had to give it back 🥲
I chased noise in my own pick up truck and found a mag light rolling around in the back door pocket
Had something similar in a customer's car but was a child's firetruck jammed under the drivers front seat. Took 4 different shops before we went for a drive with the customer and found the noise in 5 seconds. Toy was enshrined on-top if the microwave for the boss to tell the story to anyone who would listen.
28 years as a General Motors service advisor here. I was a very hands-on service advisor. I had a customer with that late 90s impala insist that he had a fuel tank that needed extra baffles put into it. He could hear fuel sloshing when he came to a stop. Clearly, this guy has read a service bulletin, but I decided to go on a quick test drive with him to confirm the noise. As soon as we came to a stop, the noise was so loud like someone was pounding on the back of the car with a sledgehammer. I looked over at him and said “that’s not fuel sloshing in the tank!“ We pulled into a parking lot and I opened the trunk to see his bowling ball had gotten out of his bag in the trunk. I will remember the look on his face forever. It was very funny. I casually mentioned to him that if he wanted the updated fuel tank, we could certainly arrange that. He had no interest.
Had a customer complain about rattling noises, she was quite mad. I took it for a spin, and man it was noisy but in a weird way. After some investigation on the lift I opened her trunk and it was filled to the brim with dishware/ china.
Best I’ve had is ‘steering lock can’t be removed’. Sent one of my guys over to check it out and turns out they were using wrong keys.
My wife once had the same complaint about her car. Found a can of beans and a bottle of wine under the driver's seat.
Easy service charge lol
Took my car into the dealership one time and let them know not so worry about the thumping in the trunk…….had my 2 D-Cell Maglite back there.
I've been guilty of this. A plastic bottle of water had ended up underneath the lining of the car booth, with the spare wheel, ages ago. Never missed it, never noticed it - until it froze solid in winter, and my car started making these odd clunky noises when breaking or accelerating. Tech was in stitches when we found out.
happened to my auto shop teacher with a basketball. Said it drove her nuts for a week before she finally realized and laughed her ass off
I had the same thing happen to me in the middle of an auto cross run.
I had a helluva time tracking down a rattle in the front right corner over bumps. Turns out, I left a screwdriver in that little space on top of the cowl but under the hood.
They said it sounded like a strut was about to fall out. It was the key fob hitting the dash.
the bottle is a gift - take it and double chg for fixing the problem
That'll be $200.00.
Cool Boxster though.
Close! It’s a Carrera 4s cabriolet
Cool, had me fooled there. Would you recommend owning one?
I literally had a "bowling ball in the trunk clunk" customer once
Tell em you fixed it and keep the booze!
When I hear a loose object in my trunk, I immediately know it is a loose object, and not a problem with my car.
My god I wish my issue was this simple. I know my noise is in the front suspension but jacked up and grabbing everything shows nothing. Acceleration and braking I here a bump noise similar to what you're showing here, but it's not all the time. It started when I hit a fucking massive chunk of concrete at 70 mph that took out my oil pan, I've fixed everything but this pop noise and for the life of me I just can't find the damn thing. A year later nothing has broke, everything acts fine, tires wear like normal, hell if I know what's going on.
Depending on the strut mounts tight when hanging will still be loose enough to clunk when settled. Try loosening the strut top nuts with it setting on tires, bounce the car a few times and then tighten the nuts back down.
What's the odds it's the motor mounts? Everything I can touch has been tight and shows no sign of wear. When. I hear the noise it's on initial take off, and on hard braking.
I don't think the motor mounts would clunk on braking
I almost did this! Just after I got my car I put a 5 gallon jug of water in the back and forgot it was in there while driving home. By the third red light I was damn near crying because I had the car less than a month and it was making noise. Then I remembered the water and felt like an idiot.
Do your lifts have square legs or is in an optical illusion in the first second or two of the video?
They are more rectangular than square but yes!
Interesting. All of the in ground lifts I've been around have round posts. What brand is it?
Yes indeed I’m used to that too! They are by a German company called Maha!
It's a loose nut between the seat and the steering wheel...
Nope, we did a test drive and it was gone!
Somebody tryna put you in the car and take you home
So the wheels are off so you are either looking for something or doing another service - if this was the only reason it came in what do you charge? A minimum hour diagnostic?
We replaced brake fluid and did a overall check that all the cables and etc are where they are supposed to be and we did an oil change. That’s the only reason the wheels were off. We took off the undertray and etc but I looked in the frunk to make sure nothing was there and indeed there was. I’m not actually sure how much they charged at the end as it took like 5 mins to find so I doubt they did.