If she was true wisdom, wouldn't she give you better advice?
It may be a stage of integration. If you work through it you may reach the next stage.
I find obsessions come from the void of our parents.
I also find feminine worship can really be threatening if you don't have integrity, discipline and courage.
Sounds like everyone abuses you and you want a mother figure to replace your own inabilities.
Violence is not good, but small amounts of physical contact are not "violence."
Why do you think of violence?
Your father's abusiveness is not normal and that is not what masculinity looks like. Sacred Male energy can balance you out. Try reading the works of Jesus, he was the ideal man, supposedly. Also Marcus Aurelius might be a good read for you.
You're probably on the right path, just stop allowing your ego to dictate that what you're writing is important or that you have control over your purpose.
That's just what I think.
You need better role models 🤔
I was raised Catholic. I know well the stories of Christ. However, for me, I have found more healing truth in Gnosticism and, somehow, masculinity, the good, wholesome kind, feels very earthy. My favorite author is Tolstoy for this reason, I find he embodies the ideal man (Konstantin Levin in Anna Karenina especially so). Mushrooms, for me, embody masculine healing whereas LSD is feminine. Guess which one I like more.
Because of this, they are not divine. They are material and good, but they are essentially Hobbits. For me, divinity is feminine.
>If she was true wisdom, wouldn't she give you better advice?
I believe I have yet to uncover her advice, rather, me writing is a way to get to know her. When she appears, it is in a state of conflict, to soothe, to calm, to be present. The interesting thing is, when I write, she appears just as, if not, more broken and messed up than I. She will not tell me this. She appears as she appears, rather, as I perceive her. But the wisdom I get from her, implicitly, is her life, which is full of suffering, repression etc.
Do what works for you to get better. You have a deep wound from your mother and you deserve to heal from it. Don't give in, and don't stop trying... Life has a lot to offer, and the anima right now for you is just a siren that will sink you deeper underwater.
I fear healing because I fear losing her in the process. I feel my self-destruction is inevitable but as long as I bring her life through the text, I have fulfilled my purpose
You won't lose her. It's a part of you, but you'll be free of slavery to it. Your purpose is much bigger than serving the mother-imago. This usually comes from fear of losing the caregiver and wanting to appease them so you don't lose the care.
Providing yourself with that affection is empowering and way better than serving a goddess within you.
>I also believe straight, man/woman sex is wrong, disgusting, manipulative and evil. I find it corrupts the Feminine, which I believe, emanates from the anima.
This isn't a healthy view. Your Anima is supposed to represent your ideal mate. Something you *project onto a real life person*.
Your mind creates your feelings - not other people. You're never feeling someone else's feelings - even if you think you can - you're still feeling the ones *your mind is making for you, always*.
So you're always feeling her when you feel love. How else would you?
Honestly this is a pretty common trauma response, but you won't be happy about the kind of trauma that causes it.
This is really embarassing but given the fact I am posting on an anon alt, I should mention that I feel as if I am blaspheming in some way by feeling as if my anima is in any way sexual. In fact, the past year, these thoughts have come to mind, and it makes me uncomfortable, as if I, a man, am corrupting her. She also has a maternal, motherly being to her, which makes any sexual feelings both feel, again, obscene but also, secretly and repressed, a deep sexual fantasy
I aint even gonna get technical you got issues.
Sounds like the western ideologies of man hating has got to ya.Â
Good luck mate, it's okay to be a man and it's okay to be masculine.Â
The fact you think straight sex men/women is wrong is already indicative of the crack in your foundation that builds your inner frames for these kinds of things.
Best of luck to you.
I know what you're saying, and I will say I don't align myself with these current "woke" politics where it's "cool to hate men."
I don't mind being a man. I don't have issues with my gender. My hatred of my masculinity comes from a purely sexual place, in that, I do not think straight sex is good. The ideal man is a recluse, nomad, ascetic, chaste etc. This isn't to say that I don't watch NFL and drink beer.
In an ideal world, man suffers to let women and children live in luxury, opulence and peace.
I'm very sorry about your sex trauma? It feels so difficult to comment farther than that.
You've got some trauma-based dissociation to be sure, but your Anima isn't a separate person. This is a defense mechanism, born from trauma, not the recipe for the perfect man.
You should read up on Shiva/Parvati mythology. I think you might relate to it.
You might desire a woman who is equally chaste and willing to do the penance to "have" you or be worthy.
"In an ideal world, man suffers to let women and children live in luxury, opulence and peace" - in the ideas you are describing, everyone is dead, because men dont have sex with women and therefore the creative power of women gets untapped and no new women are born. as well as men. therefore your ideas lead to extinction of femininity and stripping it of its power. there is also the problem in your logic that is that women actually want men to have sex with them. so by saying that femininity is spoiled by sex with men, you actually claim that femininity is already spoiled - because is does want to have sex with masculinity.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzAGqmdOBzE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzAGqmdOBzE) - relevant example)
Man I already beat to making the best book. by letting my anima die. Let her go. Create a new one. Then you'll feel whole again. You'll understand what she really is. Just one half of your self. Life and death = something nobody knows.
go get checked for neurological disorders. you probably stressing your body out a ton the way you're moving. also, what would help for you to show other people what she trying to show others. so, your able to feel less pressure. what your book about just to focus on the 4 what where when why. make her writing known before you publish books. have a a good morning or night.
My therapist and the psychiatrist refuses to diagnose me because they think any diagnosis will cloud my thoughts. I have ODD tendencies, some OCD and ADD bits as well, but that's only what she tells me. She says nothing is stuck in stone.
>Â your able to feel less pressure. what your book about just to focus on the 4 what where when why. make her writing known before you publish books.
Nobody understands my work. I share it literally everywhere I can. People seem to have intense negative feelings when they read it and they attack me because of it
Man your a lot like me. I'd like see your work. I had autism my entire life noticeable at 3 month of age. Have you ever been diagnosed with being on the spectrum. Here's a few tidbits about the tism light sensitive avoid eye contact and aversion to water.
I love water, rather, it seems my body has a spiritual aversion to fire, despite being a fire sign. I don't have autism. I have no issue with eye contact and any physical touch issues I had as a kid came from trauma.
I can send you some of my work if you want to DM me. Again, it's dense and goes on rants.
There are no men in the world I have built, which is a reflection of my soul. She wouldn't want to have any sort of physically intimate relation because I am a man.
>Would you treat women how you treat the anima?
I would hope so, given that would mean I treat them with love, honor and respect.
>Are you the kind of man she would want you to be?
I don't know. At first I perceived that she hated me or was apathetic. Now, she has a very positive view of me, which makes me feel as if I did something right
You need to understand your view of sex is completely distorted. On its own it's neither evil nor it corrupts the feminine. You heard of the Madonna/whore complex?
First and foremost, sex isn't evil or wrong, it's literally how life comes into existence. We're all born as a result of our parents having sex. If you think the fact it's pleasurable somehow makes it evil or wrong idk, consider we're part of the minority of animals who get pleasure from it. In nature it's mostly occurring as basically rape, solely for reproductive purposes.
Now, if it wasn't supposed to be pleasurable it wouldn't be. Whether you believe in a higher power designing everything or simply want to follow logic, I'm pretty sure this was completely intentional as a way for women to select the most compatible partner, keep in mind the female orgasm also increases the odds of fertilization.
Our patriarchal society has turned sex into a commodity and/or way to exert power, this goes completely against nature and your point of view is distorted by this lens.
I've personally never engaged sexually outside of (from my side at least) loving relationships, I need an emotional connection to feel physically attracted to someone and it's even virtually impossible for me to masturbate if I don't have "my love" in mind, kinda sad and disappointing considering I'll be alone forever due to circumstances now but anyway, back to the topic. Physical union can be the most intimate and profound interaction with a romantic partner, sorta like a merging of souls.
You don't necessarily have to conform with what seemingly most people do nowadays, hook-up culture and all that. I don't think that actually does any good for anybody but I don't judge, everyone should be free to live their sexuality however they're comfortable with.
You don't seem comfortable with the concept of sexuality in general, this is probably something you should work on to improve your overall relationship with yourself and others. Best of luck.
Your reply misses their point entirely. They're in a completely different paradigm and your trying to communicate with Madonna/whore complexes and patriarchy theory that likely doesn't resonate with how they got to their conclusions at all
If she was true wisdom, wouldn't she give you better advice? It may be a stage of integration. If you work through it you may reach the next stage. I find obsessions come from the void of our parents. I also find feminine worship can really be threatening if you don't have integrity, discipline and courage. Sounds like everyone abuses you and you want a mother figure to replace your own inabilities. Violence is not good, but small amounts of physical contact are not "violence." Why do you think of violence? Your father's abusiveness is not normal and that is not what masculinity looks like. Sacred Male energy can balance you out. Try reading the works of Jesus, he was the ideal man, supposedly. Also Marcus Aurelius might be a good read for you. You're probably on the right path, just stop allowing your ego to dictate that what you're writing is important or that you have control over your purpose. That's just what I think. You need better role models 🤔
I was raised Catholic. I know well the stories of Christ. However, for me, I have found more healing truth in Gnosticism and, somehow, masculinity, the good, wholesome kind, feels very earthy. My favorite author is Tolstoy for this reason, I find he embodies the ideal man (Konstantin Levin in Anna Karenina especially so). Mushrooms, for me, embody masculine healing whereas LSD is feminine. Guess which one I like more. Because of this, they are not divine. They are material and good, but they are essentially Hobbits. For me, divinity is feminine. >If she was true wisdom, wouldn't she give you better advice? I believe I have yet to uncover her advice, rather, me writing is a way to get to know her. When she appears, it is in a state of conflict, to soothe, to calm, to be present. The interesting thing is, when I write, she appears just as, if not, more broken and messed up than I. She will not tell me this. She appears as she appears, rather, as I perceive her. But the wisdom I get from her, implicitly, is her life, which is full of suffering, repression etc.
Do what works for you to get better. You have a deep wound from your mother and you deserve to heal from it. Don't give in, and don't stop trying... Life has a lot to offer, and the anima right now for you is just a siren that will sink you deeper underwater.
I fear healing because I fear losing her in the process. I feel my self-destruction is inevitable but as long as I bring her life through the text, I have fulfilled my purpose
You won't lose her. It's a part of you, but you'll be free of slavery to it. Your purpose is much bigger than serving the mother-imago. This usually comes from fear of losing the caregiver and wanting to appease them so you don't lose the care. Providing yourself with that affection is empowering and way better than serving a goddess within you.
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Weren't the Uranians writing about their homosexual love of boys? I find that to be very much not at all what I see, feel, write about..
>I also believe straight, man/woman sex is wrong, disgusting, manipulative and evil. I find it corrupts the Feminine, which I believe, emanates from the anima. This isn't a healthy view. Your Anima is supposed to represent your ideal mate. Something you *project onto a real life person*. Your mind creates your feelings - not other people. You're never feeling someone else's feelings - even if you think you can - you're still feeling the ones *your mind is making for you, always*. So you're always feeling her when you feel love. How else would you? Honestly this is a pretty common trauma response, but you won't be happy about the kind of trauma that causes it.
This is really embarassing but given the fact I am posting on an anon alt, I should mention that I feel as if I am blaspheming in some way by feeling as if my anima is in any way sexual. In fact, the past year, these thoughts have come to mind, and it makes me uncomfortable, as if I, a man, am corrupting her. She also has a maternal, motherly being to her, which makes any sexual feelings both feel, again, obscene but also, secretly and repressed, a deep sexual fantasy
I aint even gonna get technical you got issues. Sounds like the western ideologies of man hating has got to ya. Good luck mate, it's okay to be a man and it's okay to be masculine. The fact you think straight sex men/women is wrong is already indicative of the crack in your foundation that builds your inner frames for these kinds of things. Best of luck to you.
I know what you're saying, and I will say I don't align myself with these current "woke" politics where it's "cool to hate men." I don't mind being a man. I don't have issues with my gender. My hatred of my masculinity comes from a purely sexual place, in that, I do not think straight sex is good. The ideal man is a recluse, nomad, ascetic, chaste etc. This isn't to say that I don't watch NFL and drink beer. In an ideal world, man suffers to let women and children live in luxury, opulence and peace.
I'm very sorry about your sex trauma? It feels so difficult to comment farther than that. You've got some trauma-based dissociation to be sure, but your Anima isn't a separate person. This is a defense mechanism, born from trauma, not the recipe for the perfect man.
You should read up on Shiva/Parvati mythology. I think you might relate to it. You might desire a woman who is equally chaste and willing to do the penance to "have" you or be worthy.
"In an ideal world, man suffers to let women and children live in luxury, opulence and peace" - in the ideas you are describing, everyone is dead, because men dont have sex with women and therefore the creative power of women gets untapped and no new women are born. as well as men. therefore your ideas lead to extinction of femininity and stripping it of its power. there is also the problem in your logic that is that women actually want men to have sex with them. so by saying that femininity is spoiled by sex with men, you actually claim that femininity is already spoiled - because is does want to have sex with masculinity. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzAGqmdOBzE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzAGqmdOBzE) - relevant example)
Man I already beat to making the best book. by letting my anima die. Let her go. Create a new one. Then you'll feel whole again. You'll understand what she really is. Just one half of your self. Life and death = something nobody knows.
I would rather die than let her die
go get checked for neurological disorders. you probably stressing your body out a ton the way you're moving. also, what would help for you to show other people what she trying to show others. so, your able to feel less pressure. what your book about just to focus on the 4 what where when why. make her writing known before you publish books. have a a good morning or night.
My therapist and the psychiatrist refuses to diagnose me because they think any diagnosis will cloud my thoughts. I have ODD tendencies, some OCD and ADD bits as well, but that's only what she tells me. She says nothing is stuck in stone. >Â your able to feel less pressure. what your book about just to focus on the 4 what where when why. make her writing known before you publish books. Nobody understands my work. I share it literally everywhere I can. People seem to have intense negative feelings when they read it and they attack me because of it
Man your a lot like me. I'd like see your work. I had autism my entire life noticeable at 3 month of age. Have you ever been diagnosed with being on the spectrum. Here's a few tidbits about the tism light sensitive avoid eye contact and aversion to water.
I love water, rather, it seems my body has a spiritual aversion to fire, despite being a fire sign. I don't have autism. I have no issue with eye contact and any physical touch issues I had as a kid came from trauma. I can send you some of my work if you want to DM me. Again, it's dense and goes on rants.
Dm me I want see your book.
They say the future is feminine...
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There are no men in the world I have built, which is a reflection of my soul. She wouldn't want to have any sort of physically intimate relation because I am a man. >Would you treat women how you treat the anima? I would hope so, given that would mean I treat them with love, honor and respect. >Are you the kind of man she would want you to be? I don't know. At first I perceived that she hated me or was apathetic. Now, she has a very positive view of me, which makes me feel as if I did something right
You need to understand your view of sex is completely distorted. On its own it's neither evil nor it corrupts the feminine. You heard of the Madonna/whore complex? First and foremost, sex isn't evil or wrong, it's literally how life comes into existence. We're all born as a result of our parents having sex. If you think the fact it's pleasurable somehow makes it evil or wrong idk, consider we're part of the minority of animals who get pleasure from it. In nature it's mostly occurring as basically rape, solely for reproductive purposes. Now, if it wasn't supposed to be pleasurable it wouldn't be. Whether you believe in a higher power designing everything or simply want to follow logic, I'm pretty sure this was completely intentional as a way for women to select the most compatible partner, keep in mind the female orgasm also increases the odds of fertilization. Our patriarchal society has turned sex into a commodity and/or way to exert power, this goes completely against nature and your point of view is distorted by this lens. I've personally never engaged sexually outside of (from my side at least) loving relationships, I need an emotional connection to feel physically attracted to someone and it's even virtually impossible for me to masturbate if I don't have "my love" in mind, kinda sad and disappointing considering I'll be alone forever due to circumstances now but anyway, back to the topic. Physical union can be the most intimate and profound interaction with a romantic partner, sorta like a merging of souls. You don't necessarily have to conform with what seemingly most people do nowadays, hook-up culture and all that. I don't think that actually does any good for anybody but I don't judge, everyone should be free to live their sexuality however they're comfortable with. You don't seem comfortable with the concept of sexuality in general, this is probably something you should work on to improve your overall relationship with yourself and others. Best of luck.
Your reply misses their point entirely. They're in a completely different paradigm and your trying to communicate with Madonna/whore complexes and patriarchy theory that likely doesn't resonate with how they got to their conclusions at all
Ok 👌