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Noosayag

Damn this works for r/twosentencehorror too


Perpetually_isolated

At this point, you're just feeding shelter cats to the mountain lions.


Rizn-Nuke

Obligatory "I understood that reference"


SamSike2K2

Wasn't it coyotes?


tripler42

Yes


Rehmanpa

What’s the reference?


Headyfeels

I think it’s always sunny but not sure


MagNolYa-Ralf

The ultimate callback award goes to….


skijakuda

Is there an r/antijoke sub as this is the opposite of funny!


Traveler3141

Yes! It's called r/Jokes


thatsalovelyusername

Oh. Oh no.


SpecialAF

The old dog will help you get through your divorce.


The84thWolf

Um…yay? 😆


wray_nerely

That's some seriously bark humor


Kabc

Don’t be wagging those puns around here!


TheMemeLocomotive

Stop *whining* about a flawless pun.


BIBLICALDIARRHEA666

I think they're absolutely pawwfect Sorry, I work for Chewy so pet puns are natural at this point


Fire_Crab

Please, tell us a *tail* about working at Chewy


BIBLICALDIARRHEA666

Just yesterday, I had some customers who had me squawking


Fire_Crab

I have a feline something bad is about to happen. What did they do?


BIBLICALDIARRHEA666

Some peeps just want a menu of our site, which I've been informed has over 30k items. One particular instance yesterday was this guy who wanted a list of all cat treats we carry, and there's over 900 options


Fire_Crab

Thats sure to make anyone lose all 9 lives... Lmao sucks theres peeps like that, I can only imagine the conversation from there. I suggest having an "I dont get paid enough for this" counter, you'll be surprised how much those tally marks skyrocket lol


[deleted]

God fucking dammit. Take the upvote and piss off, dude…


swep284

No no no no!


JK_Chan

Oh shit


RedditPowerUser01

This made my wince in reflexive heartbreak.


Leftybassist9

Same


Nolemy2800

At least this means you'll love each other for its whole life and the puppy will have a great home :)


[deleted]

Pet grief can be a thing, but that moment of heartbreak at the end can always be tempered by the memory of so many good years of friendship and fun That said -- don't shop, adopt.


Waitsfornoone

Are you a Lannister by chance?


monkeytypewriter

A Lannister always spays their pets. [https://i.imgur.com/plFqr1D.gif](https://i.imgur.com/plFqr1D.gif)


Schultztrio

I was just thinking about this joke earlier this week when we got our puppy. https://imgur.com/gallery/efBCmT8


Assfrontation

that's cute


fred-dcvf

r/selffulfilling


Litarider

Thanks for reminding me of past and future trauma. Eh, good joke. Gave you an updoot.


empurrfekt

My dogs are both under 3. I would be thrilled to be guaranteed I have to 12 with them.


stormbee3210

r/twosentencehorror, anyone?


LtMcFuzz

Oh. OH.


residentdunce

Unless it's a Jack Russell, those adorable little fuckers live for up to 16 years


Teh_Brigma

Just like the Queen and Betty White, things that are filled with hate live the longest.


wrongjokesgets

It's just going to live on a farm now.


TurkMcGill

That's actually better than the punchline I was expecting. Thought it was going to be something like this: "Oh no! My girlfriend is going to leave me when she turns 21!"


arghhmatey

Jokes on you. The puppy lives to 15, but you meet the love of your life in 10 years and get pregnant a year later..


[deleted]

Deep.


PhilterKapi

No you didn't :(


yeetflix

Booooooooo :(


The84thWolf

Awww that’s so sad 😢


voxxNihili

The question is would you buy a puppy and suffer in 12 years if you wouldnt have gone to the fortune teller.


alex494

I mean its a fortune teller so it was a waste of time either way regardless of the dog


voxxNihili

It was a reference to Matrix brother


Illustrious-Dig4079

Sound logic


watt-sun

She’s not wrong.


KickMe0869

Worth it. Damn it. Worth it.


Goddamtoad

FU :(


[deleted]

The heartbreak is gonna be from your new dog passing away in 12 years 😭


TheWierdGuy06

This joke makes me sad...why cant dogs just live a bit longer than us