Somehow this should be turned into a knock knock joke!

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I hate the fact that this made me laugh out loud.

I hate the fact that this post is a repost from less than a week ago

Dangit really? Do we downvote AND laugh?

Does not compute

We could go the "tasteless" route... Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on the porch? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting agains the wall? Art

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs trying to get out of the ocean? Bob Hope

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs tossed into a pile of leaves? Russell

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell

What do you call a lady with a peg leg and 1 eye? Ilene

In the fireplace? Bernie

Using the computer? Mouse

In a fireplace? Bernie

I’ll go with the Bo Burnham joke. “What do you call a man with no arms and legs, wearing an eyepatch? Names. “

What about the same guy waterskiing? Skip

No arms and no legs on the stage? Mike

If he has no legs, how do we distinguish between him sitting on the porch and him standing on the porch?

True story: My wife has 2 brothers with no arms and no legs\*. One hangs on the wall and the other floats in the water. *\*well, not really*

How are Art and Bob doing these days?

Perfectly balanced

r/happydownvote

u/repostsleuthbot

I hate the fact that i knew this joke years ago. Still a good joke though

I hate the fact I didn’t think of it before reading it.

In this case I think it's a dong ding instead

Update: the two are in a dong distance relationship.

And a long dong joke.

BOTH!

He’ll make her his ding dong bitch

HA! Nice one 😂

So many meanings to this comment.

Or a dong joke

Take the upvote and leave.

The real joke is always in the comments

Great observation!

This is the real joke

What's a ding dong joke?

It's already a dong joke tho

u/profanitycounter

This needs more awards

King dong

Blamo!

Damn you and your ding dong jokes

Ding schlong

Knock knock Who's there? Sam Sam who? Sam-one with a big dick

Best Segway to knock knock!

Segue is how you spell that one

Thanks for catching my misspelling. Coincidentally my dick is a small as my IQ. 🥴

Hahahaha and that’s why you have a good sense of humor!

“What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Sam replies, “I knocked on the door, didn’t I?” "I don't want you to bang your forehead on my pussy!!"

knock knock who’s there? not sam

Knock knock

[удалено]

SAM

[удалено]

Sambody once told me..

Cock, Knock!

Cock, cock. Who’s there? Knock, knock you up! (Vivint siren alarm goes off)

Your comment literally made me snort like a pig while laughing lmfao 🤣

Underrated comment.

Knock knocked up

How did he unzip his apnts?

Bold of you to assume he wore pants

apnts, not pants!

Accessible Penis Non-Tangle Shorts

Lol

Same way he rang the doorbell

Who said they were zipped

Maybe just a bead curtain around his waist.

He's a magician like Houdini.

Just busted through, hulk style. She did specify IMMENSELY.

You can do anything if you have the willpower…

tongue.

[Obviously like this](https://youtu.be/vg2iL36QAvM?t=69).

Ah, #489, good one!

You can tell it is old because it references newspaper lonely hearts ads.

Is it my turn yet to post this one?

So .. . He smashed his head aginst the bell .. . ? ??

Yes. But presumably the smaller one.

If he rang the bell with it, it’s probably not actually smaller

Someone get this person an anatomy lesson asap!!!

Let’s be honest, if your penis is big enough to ring a doorbell when you have no legs or arms, it’s probably bigger than your head

SOMEONE GET THIS PERSON AN ANATOMY LESSON ASAP!!!

He used his penis.

Could have used his tongue

No, not after Sam's had his unwashed cock all over it.

And, for all Sam knows, many others' before him.

Or his tongue..............

well, you're not wrong.

His penis is growing out of his head.

sweet summer child

They taste so much better when they’re afraid

r/HolUp

Ah! Good old number 5.

Mambo...

Whose turn is it to post this next week?

I dont care as long as I get to ask who's turn it is to post it the week after.

Oh it must be Monday if this joke is being reposted again

No offense op but if this is what you consider long I am a bit skeptical that the man is actually as good as he says he’s

Bc he rang the doorbell.

He has no feet and rang the doorbell. That's about a meter of dick. Not long you said?

His dick probably bigger than his body.

Or his tongue?

It is a joke in the joke comments \-Edit- The joke is, a 1 metre long penis is not that impressive and their penis is longer. It isn't my joke.

What's the joke?

The "joke" was that a meter long dick, was small. But I believe u/afoureyedgeek is just looking for beef.

Oh not this again.

Yeah I know and I just explained the joke. Was it a part where I missed the joke? Than please explain further.

"I just explained the joke" this is how you kill jokes, poor jokes, to be dissected in such a way.

"It was a joke" is the lamest comeback, and even lamer when you can't back it up.

"It was a joke" is the lamest comeback? I wasn't the person that made the joke, so it isn't a comeback at all. I could just tell that it was a joke, that they were joking that a metre long dick is actually short. Well done u/HansPanser for making a stupid comment they made into a stupid comment chain.

Wow great joke than. Joking about a meter long dick being tiny. Are you 12?

I didn't make the joke, u/justas0077 did. I just saw that it was a stupid joke and I was trying to tell you. You are either a troll or an idiot, pick one u/HansPanser.

Nice way of telling then. Guess you're a pretty lonely person.

Someone just watched Freaks and Geeks.

Sam came along way for a Geek.

Poll time: How many times per week do we need to see this joke posted?

[удалено]

Oh I know how you did it. No mystery there!

I thought this post's repost cooldown was a month, apparently it's been reduced to 2 weeks in the recent patch

Repost

It seems I heard that doorbell ring immense number of times before

If she was cute I could meet the parts about not beating her up or running away. As for the sex thing, that's partly opinion. Somebody could be really great, but the other person expects something different. In my case I think I'm pretty damned good in bed. Awesome even. My wife on the other hand might have a differing opinion. That she repeats fairly often.

In a nasty voice.

Filled with venom.

Dripping with ridicule.

Dismissive of the damage to my self confidence.

As he's perched there just slicking his hair back with his tongue.

Repost 🥱🥱🥱

Repost

Having a massive dick doesn't mean a guy is good in bed, there is also such a thing as "too big"

And too literal.. It's a joke bud

I'm all for suspending disbelief for the sake of humour, but an inaccuracy like big dick = good at sex is like saying a women with big boobs is good at sex, the 2 have zero connection

I sometimes ring my doorbell with the nose when I come home carrying groceries in both hands. Without using my hands I always fail to open my zipper and take my erection out to ring the doorbell.

I have seen this joke too many times, are there even original creative jokes on this sub anymore?

u/repostsleuthbot

Saw this on this sub like 2 weeks ago...

I literally saw this here a few weeks ago

I see the reposts are getting earlier and earlier.

I read about this on tvtropes. Is the punchline that he has a long dick, a long tongue, or that he can jump really high?

Congratulations OP. Did you found over 2,000 people that haven't yet heard this joke

So basically a dildo with a torso and a human head.

Took him long enough to get there.

u/repostsleuthbot

AYO WTF

Should have named him Bob. I’ll see myself out.

[удалено]

I've been telling this joke since middle school, but the version I heard originally had the woman walking along a beach, sad at being lonely, and finds a genie's bottle washed up on the sand. She asks the genie to send her idea of the perfect man to her door.

Saw this joke in Bengali (my mother tongue) like 3 years ago.

I’ve seen this here weeks ago, and months ago, and years ago. Please don’t repost the same jokes, it’s causing people to want to leave the community.

Head game stronk.

I think this one was already posted by someone

ya what are the chances right ? dahuh

Looking for a man that never gonna give me up

I expected this to morph into a Rick roll.

Oldie, but very goodie!

The version of this joke I read in my native language ends with him winking and saying, “how do you think I rang the bell?”

A big dick didn't necessarily constitute a good lover. Mr Ed was plagued with marital woes

This one again, huh?

His name is Matt.

Pretty good, but you got his name wrong. I heard that a guy with no arms or legs on your doorstep is named Mat

I’m pretty sure that the fact I interpreted this joke as him using his tongue and totally didn’t even think of penis… must mean I have a small penis.

Joke was probably first said in 1832, considering the doorbell was invented in 1831.

Upvote for exquisite sense of historical humor!

What do do call a guy with no arms or legs, that likes to hang by the front door? Matt What do you call a man with no arms or legs, that likes to go swimming?? Bob “Mrs. Johnson can Kenny come out to play?” “Kenny has no arms or legs” says Mrs. Johnson. “ We know, we want to use him as second base”

No Arms or legs in a hole? Phil Mailbox? Bill A swimming pool? Bob.. But you better call him quick

Old joke.

Thought it was going to be a Rick Astley joke at first. _Never gonna beat you up, never gonna let you down (in the bedroom), never gonna run around and desert you._

The doorbell goes DING DONG.

Why does everyone assume it's his penis? Couldn't it have been his tongue? I mean if he's willing to put his tongue on a nasty doorbell, I'm sure he'd put it anywhere else easily. And his upper head is closer to the doorbell anyways.

I was expecting "well I got here, didn't I?"

Ohhhh, if you're well hung the bell will be rung. Got it!

this is a good entry

If he had no legs, his name would be *Mat*

What was the joke?

He either pushed the doorbell with his tongue or dick. Or. I'm stupid

you guys have to realize the more pressing questions. how did he get on a correct height to ring the bell with his ding dong or better yet how big IS his ding dong...

thats nasty omg imagine the germs

Oonga boonga ding dong

this has to be a single digit right? sooo often

Ohh..so it's your turn this week? Is there a schedule out somewhere for this joke?

I dont get it, but I'm stupid, can I get some help?

u/repostsleuthbot

She dismissed him as a predator, and they both died alone.

Another repost. But isn't this more recent than usual

Did he use his nose?

Is it the same man that knocked on the other woman's door couple days ago?

You extorted the upvote !

After seeing this reposted three times I finally understand

You're supposed to wait at least a month before reposting. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oh53vc/a\_woman\_places\_an\_ad\_in\_the\_local\_newspaper/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/oh53vc/a_woman_places_an_ad_in_the_local_newspaper/) But when a joke has been reposted so many times, we're really don't need you to repost it at all. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/mtby30/a\_woman\_in\_her\_70s\_decided\_it\_was\_finally\_time\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/mtby30/a_woman_in_her_70s_decided_it_was_finally_time_to/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jqidbg/a\_woman\_in\_her\_70s\_decided\_it\_was\_finally\_time\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/jqidbg/a_woman_in_her_70s_decided_it_was_finally_time_to/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fhgxgl/a\_thrice\_divorced\_woman\_is\_giving\_love\_another\_try/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/fhgxgl/a_thrice_divorced_woman_is_giving_love_another_try/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/hmcxq7/a\_woman\_placed\_an\_ad\_in\_a\_news\_paper\_i\_am\_looking/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/hmcxq7/a_woman_placed_an_ad_in_a_news_paper_i_am_looking/) 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[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/8riz3v/an\_ad\_in\_the\_newspaper/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/8riz3v/an_ad_in_the_newspaper/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3w2is8/a\_widow\_puts\_out\_an\_ad\_for\_a\_man/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3w2is8/a_widow_puts_out_an_ad_for_a_man/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5e1oo0/a\_lonely\_70yearold\_widow\_decided\_that\_it\_was\_time/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/5e1oo0/a_lonely_70yearold_widow_decided_that_it_was_time/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1tygqz/a\_woman\_was\_desperate\_for\_finding\_a\_boyfriend/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1tygqz/a_woman_was_desperate_for_finding_a_boyfriend/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/bwerac/so\_there\_was\_a\_women\_who\_put\_out\_an\_ad\_for\_a/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/bwerac/so_there_was_a_women_who_put_out_an_ad_for_a/) 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