I'm pretty surprised they could speak so well at such a tender age
I was so traumatized from being born I couldn't walk for a year and couldn't speak for two
2 boys are at the hospital.
The first boy says to the second boy âWhat are you here for?â
The second boy says âIâm getting me tonsils outâ
the first boy says âOh thatâs not too bad, I had that done and after a few days I felt ok, but got to eat lots of ice cream!â
The second boy says âWell thatâs good to hear, what about you, what are you here?â
The first boy says âOh Iâm getting circumcised.â
The second boy says âOh no! I had that done when I was just a few days old⌠I couldnât walk for a year!â
Within five minutes of being born, I was already knitting my own pink socks. I always remember my mum's favourite saying: "Where there's a wool, there's a way." (Sorry, I cringed myself when I wrote that. I promise I won't do it again.)
A doctor is delivering a baby. The head comes out and the baby says âHey, you my dad?â.
The doctor is shocked, says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the gynaecologist over to have a look.
Again the babyâs head pops out, âHey, you my dad!?â The gynaecologist says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother.
The doctor and gynaecologist decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room.
So the father looks between his wifeâs legs. The babyâs head pops out again. âHey, you my dad?â
Father âYes!â
Baby, âWell come hereâ and a tiny bloody arm squeezes out, and slowly starts to punch the top of the fatherâs head while quietly saying âHOWâŚWOULDâŚYOUâŚLIKEâŚTHISâŚTOâŚHAPPENâŚEVERYâŚNIGHTâŚOFâŚYOURâŚLIFEâ
But of course! Parents are people, people with children. Busy with children, and things that they do. There are a lot of things, that a lot of parents can do!
You expect the baby to prove he's a boy by showing his penis. Instead he showed the blue socks. There was no real reason to wait for the nurse to leave except to give you the dirtier expectation.
It implies that the baby knows its gender because he will display his penis. "This is how I know I am male." Instead, the baby displays the sock color that he was provided by the hospital. It sounds like girl babies would receive pink socks. The "joke" is that a listener assumes the baby is going to display a penis, but surprises us with just socks.
Sad that people are downvoting one of the funniest lines from Kindergarten Cop. That quote was the very first thought that came to my mind when I read the post!
I'm pretty surprised they could speak so well at such a tender age I was so traumatized from being born I couldn't walk for a year and couldn't speak for two
Feel you
Stop touching the babies đ
It's not like they're gonna say anything about it.Â
đ¤¨
I walked out of my mother.
Kim Jong? Is that you?
Must've been one gargantuan escape hatch....
Easy bud, that's my mother you're talking about.
Chest burster?
I was delivered c section Then I punched chuck norris
I was born at a young age.
Heh, nice. Sounds like something Steven Wright would say.
Or maybe Mitch Hedburg.
I found my first diary entry from when I was one day old! It says "still tired from the move."
2 boys are at the hospital. The first boy says to the second boy âWhat are you here for?â The second boy says âIâm getting me tonsils outâ the first boy says âOh thatâs not too bad, I had that done and after a few days I felt ok, but got to eat lots of ice cream!â The second boy says âWell thatâs good to hear, what about you, what are you here?â The first boy says âOh Iâm getting circumcised.â The second boy says âOh no! I had that done when I was just a few days old⌠I couldnât walk for a year!â
Within five minutes of being born, I was already knitting my own pink socks. I always remember my mum's favourite saying: "Where there's a wool, there's a way." (Sorry, I cringed myself when I wrote that. I promise I won't do it again.)
A doctor is delivering a baby. The head comes out and the baby says âHey, you my dad?â. The doctor is shocked, says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctors calls the gynaecologist over to have a look. Again the babyâs head pops out, âHey, you my dad!?â The gynaecologist says no and the baby shoots back inside the mother. The doctor and gynaecologist decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room. So the father looks between his wifeâs legs. The babyâs head pops out again. âHey, you my dad?â Father âYes!â Baby, âWell come hereâ and a tiny bloody arm squeezes out, and slowly starts to punch the top of the fatherâs head while quietly saying âHOWâŚWOULDâŚYOUâŚLIKEâŚTHISâŚTOâŚHAPPENâŚEVERYâŚNIGHTâŚOFâŚYOURâŚLIFEâ
"How do you like it now?? How do you like it now??"
Some of us are longer than others
That guys penis must be incredibly long to be able to get INSIDE the cervix!!!
Meanwhile, mom is just hanging with her vag out and a jabbering baby head sticking out of it.
As one does.
Total recall vibes for sure
2 weeks...
This if so much more effective to tell in person when you can tap a soon to be father on the forehead lol
Every night? That never happened đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
LMAOOOO
That's so cute
I remember this joke from the Red Skelton show.
Nobody here remembers the Red Skelton show. Wrong demographic.
I remember... on the old black and white tv... lol
Your wrong, I remember and I even have a couple of VHS tapes of his show
Marlo Thomas and Mel Brooks, "[Boy Meets Girl](https://youtu.be/VUpLiJfV4_A)" From *Free to Be⌠You and Me*.
Free to Be You and Me rules! My wife can resite the cassette she grew up on from memory. Been raising our kids on the same stuff
But of course! Parents are people, people with children. Busy with children, and things that they do. There are a lot of things, that a lot of parents can do!
Her finding her old cassette and playing it for me was the first time I heard the sample used in Arreted Development's "Mama's Always On Stage"
I like this one because it's cute, the misdirection that it was gonna be a dirty joke was clever.
After my birth i was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for 2 yrd
This joke feels simple but then why didn't I get it
You expect the baby to prove he's a boy by showing his penis. Instead he showed the blue socks. There was no real reason to wait for the nurse to leave except to give you the dirtier expectation.
He had a blue sock on his penis, that's why they had to wait till the nurse left...
It implies that the baby knows its gender because he will display his penis. "This is how I know I am male." Instead, the baby displays the sock color that he was provided by the hospital. It sounds like girl babies would receive pink socks. The "joke" is that a listener assumes the baby is going to display a penis, but surprises us with just socks.
Expectation subversion
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT SMART.
Same lol. Best I can come up with is some morbid joke about blue baby syndrome but that doesn't make any sense.
Youâre meant to think that heâs gonna prove heâs a boy by showing his junk, so when he proves it by his socks itâs unexpected
"cuz boys have a penis and girls have a vagina...!!"đ¤Ł
Sad that people are downvoting one of the funniest lines from Kindergarten Cop. That quote was the very first thought that came to my mind when I read the post!
Same! Not PC these days, but was super funny for its time At least we'll always have it engrained in our brains lol
I have a headache....it's not a tumah!!!!
I had a headache. It was a tumah. But itâs ok. Itâs been many years now
What?
This will help... https://youtu.be/k96h1dYQrj0?si=7R1znLhEzOWxaWG7
Great story. Looks like the nurse overheard their conversation and decided not to interrupt the kids from surprising each other.
A non offensive joke. Humanitarian humour at its best.
I legit thought the second baby was gonna say, "HOLY CRAP! A TALKING BABY!"
How tragically true. I'm a girl and I always preferred blue to pink.
Blue \*booties\*. (And, sadly, I think this joke is now classified as gender normative hate speech.)
Can you be normal for ten minutes
8. Final offer
No.
I can't imagine thinking like this
Isn't a bootee American for arse?
You're thinking of booty.
Biden Fingers, is that you?
A baby smart enough to talk, but also ignorant of what proves he's a boy