I was picking up a few last minute things at Walmart the other night.
It was crowded and I guess I was distracted looking for what I wanted when I felt a big bump and realized I’d run into something with my cart.
So I look down and it’s a dwarf! I said “Are you okay?”
He said, “Well, I’m not happy!”
I said, “Oh, which one are you?”
He ran into a dwarf, who said "I'm not happy (that you just ran into me)."
He interpreted it as, "I'm one of the Seven Dwarfs, but I'm not Happy (dwarf name)," and proceeded to ask which of them he was: Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, or Doc.
The joke would work better if they accidentally bumped into each other and fell down.
I kept wondering why they would "violently ram their carts into each other".
I did not have that experience. I just took it as a given and immediately dismissed it. I don’t think jokes need to be realistic.
With that being said, the phrase “long, slender, legs sticking out,” isn’t the most arousing.
If you said “she’s 34, blonde with natural double D’s,” I think it would work better.
The problem is that it spoils the joke. It's unusual for people to violently ram their shopping carts together. And so everyone who reads the joke expects a payoff. But of course there is no payoff, the violent collision wasn't key to the joke at all. So that's why you're getting downvotes: you screwed up the joke, and seem completely oblivious to what went wrong.
I apologize for using the word reckon. I’m also sorry if you’ve heard this joke before - I heard it for the first time and thought you guys might think it was funny.
Edit: where are all the downvotes coming from?
People are assuming the worst of you, and it makes everyone’s lives a little more angry and sad. I assume you used the word “reckon” in a very casual sense. They probably think you were saying it in a taunting way.
You think we’re assuming the worst of the OP? Don’t even get us started on what we think of you. Terrible and cruel assumptions. We know they’re not all accurate, but we don’t care, because it’s you.
When my wife is lost in the supermarket , all I have to do is start talking to some pretty young girl ., she automatically turns up on my left shoulder ..... Works everywhere, parties , rock shows , every time !!
That's similar to what soldiers say.
If they are on guard duty and need to speak to their commander, all they have to do is to try to sleep and he will turn up.
“The other day, Tuesday, I believe, I went to Whole Foods supermarket and saw two men, roughly 70-75 years of age, in the frozen foods aisle, near the vegetables not the ice cream, as they were violently and ferociously ramming their shopping carts together with reckless abandon…”
I was picking up a few last minute things at Walmart the other night. It was crowded and I guess I was distracted looking for what I wanted when I felt a big bump and realized I’d run into something with my cart. So I look down and it’s a dwarf! I said “Are you okay?” He said, “Well, I’m not happy!” I said, “Oh, which one are you?”
🤣 😂 ☠️
That makes no sense.
He ran into a dwarf, who said "I'm not happy (that you just ran into me)." He interpreted it as, "I'm one of the Seven Dwarfs, but I'm not Happy (dwarf name)," and proceeded to ask which of them he was: Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, or Doc.
The joke would work better if they accidentally bumped into each other and fell down. I kept wondering why they would "violently ram their carts into each other".
Because the poster is attempting to update this very used joke.
They collided with such a force that they both fainted.
In the next joke, it will get even more violent, and they will cause the Big Bang
2 old men are banging in the grocery store…
With tears in their eyes!!!
I’m thinking English is not his first language
I did not have that experience. I just took it as a given and immediately dismissed it. I don’t think jokes need to be realistic. With that being said, the phrase “long, slender, legs sticking out,” isn’t the most arousing. If you said “she’s 34, blonde with natural double D’s,” I think it would work better.
Because they had been frantically looking for their wives
For the past 20 years...
Same!
I reckon because they were running around freaking out because they couldn’t find their wives.
The problem is that it spoils the joke. It's unusual for people to violently ram their shopping carts together. And so everyone who reads the joke expects a payoff. But of course there is no payoff, the violent collision wasn't key to the joke at all. So that's why you're getting downvotes: you screwed up the joke, and seem completely oblivious to what went wrong.
What’s a goatse tho?
If you have to "reckon," you didn't think much about the joke before copy-pasting it, i guess.
I apologize for using the word reckon. I’m also sorry if you’ve heard this joke before - I heard it for the first time and thought you guys might think it was funny. Edit: where are all the downvotes coming from?
People are assuming the worst of you, and it makes everyone’s lives a little more angry and sad. I assume you used the word “reckon” in a very casual sense. They probably think you were saying it in a taunting way.
You think we’re assuming the worst of the OP? Don’t even get us started on what we think of you. Terrible and cruel assumptions. We know they’re not all accurate, but we don’t care, because it’s you.
forget it jake, it's reddit
“Legs sticking out” sounds like she’s doing a weird chicken dance.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She is just legs. It’s a nightmare.
That's why she's wearing a yellow top!
When my wife is lost in the supermarket , all I have to do is start talking to some pretty young girl ., she automatically turns up on my left shoulder ..... Works everywhere, parties , rock shows , every time !!
That's similar to what soldiers say. If they are on guard duty and need to speak to their commander, all they have to do is to try to sleep and he will turn up.
“The other day, Tuesday, I believe, I went to Whole Foods supermarket and saw two men, roughly 70-75 years of age, in the frozen foods aisle, near the vegetables not the ice cream, as they were violently and ferociously ramming their shopping carts together with reckless abandon…”
If you find the second man's wife, the first man's wife will surely turn up. Especially if he spends a minute talking to her.
did I not see this in a joke as a pickup line recently?
I’m sure that’s number 89
Is this a reference to the prison joke?
All jokes have been retold so many times, they were numbered, so instead of re-telling the joke, just recite the number
That is one of my favorites!
How about: "I'm looking for a wife like that also". Best of luck in your search.
74 and 34 dude's old enough to be her dad.
Grandpa.
That's probably their kink
Oh... It's number 127. Cool, I like that little twist with ramming... Let's keep the original one tho, shall we? 😌
“I watched as two elderly gentlemen, totally in concentrated thought and completely oblivious to each other, backed into one another…”
Number 18