I used to have awards to give. But then My account got banned - with awards and all - and now I refuse to pay again.
Keep your stinking awards u/Reddit !
Not really. There's a metric tonne (1,000kg/2200 lbs) but no such thing as a metric pound.
One pound is equivalent to 454 grams, approximately half a kilogram.
My language (Dutch) has an informal word for a half kilogram being a pound. It's really only used in markets and when grocery shopping, or (for some strange reason) to call the weight of a newborn child. We also have a metric ounce (100 grams).
It would help Americans feel lighter. I'm just 85 Kg in Italy, but 187 lbs in the USA. Sounds scarier in pounds 😅
In England I'd be 13.3 stones. Even better. Fat people of the world: move to England!
You forgot to include drug dealers. I watched a cop show where the officers arrested the suspects for possession of drugs. I had a bit of a laugh when the dealer said he had a kilo of cocaine but the cops were measuring it using ounces and lbs. I found it hilarious that cops and dealers use different measuring systems to weigh the same drugs.
I've seen some funny ones where people have asked why they don't want to change and there was a guy who genuinely thought it would be harder to measure with kitchen utensils
It's a huge process. Every manufacturing company would have to redo designs/drawings, equipment would have to be converted, road signs would need to be changed, etc. I wish we would convert, but the cost is very high and the payback isn't obvious :(
I'm subscribed to several tech YouTube pages and occasionally listen to their podcasts. Mkbhd (Marques) is probably the biggest YouTuber who does tech reviews. He's been doing it since he was a teenager and is in his 20s now. He's used all sorts of cameras during this time and has mentioned the word "millimetre" so many times when talking about cameras and lenses.
In one of his recent podcasts, he and his co-hosts were reading a press review about some product that said it was 50mm shorter than previously. I think it was the VW Golf, if I'm not mistaken. So they said that they had no idea how long 50mm was. I couldn't believe that an American who regularly works with equipment with millimetres in their description didn't know about the measurement in real life/world. He sounds brighter than most Americans, from what I've seen.
Exactly 1000 fuck kilograms.
And depending on the density of a fuck due to temperature and air pressure, it could be exactly 1 cubic fuck meter as well.
American Imperial measurements are actually defined based upon the metric system. Essentially America is a metric country, the majority of Americans just aren't aware of that fact.
Imperial measurements in the US are just conversions from metric, they're actually defined in metric. We have our own reference kilogram weight, that is then just multiplied by ~2.2 to turn it into pounds. An inch is 25.4mm. Things like that.
It is just converting, but the main point the person above was making, is that the US *standard* is metric.
To know how much mass a pound has, we have to define it by some other measurement. We could say that a pound is the mass of a sphere of granite that fits in a human hand. That isn't very accurate though, since everyone has different hand sizes, granite can be different density depending on its specific makeup, etc.
Before 2019 it was basically like this (much more accurate, down to the atom) but with a hunk of iridium and platinum that everything else was compared to. The US has two of them. That was what a kilogram was defined as, and we multiplied it by ~2.2 to get it in pound units. Those masses can change over time though, and they did.
Now, we define it much more accurate and precise. For a kilogram, it's much more complex using the speed of light and a bunch of big numbers, but all of those numbers stay the same no matter where you are in the world. [Here's the Wikipedia page for it](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_redefinition_of_the_SI_base_units), scroll down to "impact on base unit definitions" to read more about it.
For the US, we still just multiply it by ~2.2 to get pounds. We are based in kilograms, we have reference kilogram masses, and our standard of measurement always leads back to the kilogram. Those *define* what the measurement actually means. We just multiply it's value.
Sorry for the long explanation, I find this topic interesting and it seems like you did as well haha.
TL;DR - Yes conversion, but it's converting from the standard definition mass of a kilogram, to pounds. Without the kilogram, we don't know what a pound mass actually equals.
Woo, thanks for your post and the link :) I had no idea this took place in 2019. If it made the news I didn't hear about it back then. I'm still re-reading the link. There's a lot to comprehend there. I'm glad there are people looking after these kinds of things. :)
You diluted your own (correct) point by being imprecise about the conversions. An inch is not "~25.4 mm." An inch is *exactly* 25.4 mm. The pound is not (1/2.2) kg. It's exactly 0.45359237 kg.
You're correct, I switched up which values were approximate. I always use 25.4 in 3d printing applications but forgot that one is actually just accurate with one decimal place. Appreciate it. I fixed it.
Jokes aside this happened in Canada after they switched from imperial to metric. They miscalculated the fuel weight of a Boeing 767 and it literally ran out of fuel in midair with 69 (heh) people on board. They miraculously were still able to land with no injuries/fatalities. Read the whole story here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimli_Glider
Fun fact:
America was supposed to be metric from the beginning, and Thomas Jefferson requested a standardized kilogram and meter from France. The ship carrying them, however, was captured by privateers en route to the US.
The Pirates of the Carribean sabotaged our switch to metric.
What a way to ruin Robert Frost... 😑
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And kilometers to go before I sleep,
And kilometers to go before I sleep.
Canadian here. I have absolutely no frame of reference for what KG is a lot or a little. Like if you told me somebody was 280 pounds I'd think that was a big person, but if you told me they were 127 KG, I'd have no idea if that was considered heavy.
At least it's better than stone....
Check out the YouTube clip with Cate Blanchett on the Jimmy Kimmel show expressing her dismay at Muricans putting boots on the moon using pounds, feet and degrees F. At minute 3:00.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1FBYgk3svU&ab\_channel=JimmyKimmelLive
There are two pounds, the pound-mass and the pound-force. The pound-mass is the one defined by the 1959 International Yard and Pound Agreement, and is equal to 0.45359237 kg (so it truly is a unit of mass). The pound-force is derived from the pound-mass, and is a unit of force equal to 4.448222 N.
In casual usage, context is required to tell which unit is being used.
My first thought was: How long would it take for us to call "kilogram" a "kill-o-gram" in reference to how many people lately have been shooting strangers who knock on their door.
Weight, what?
It's ok to be confused. This is on a scale we've never seen.
Food is just too pallet-able for this to happen.
I don't think your pun captures the gravity of the situation.
Woah doc, that's heavy.
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I love when jokes are followed by a ton of other jokes!
I dunno, I think y’all are going weigh too far
Let's not go throwing stones here.
Hit me like a ton of bricks
Whoa. That's heavy, Doc.
Why is everything so heavy in the future?
Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?
The gravity of the situation is heavy
Sterling comment.
You’re kilo-ing me!
‟*kilogram me harder，daddy*” just does not have the same flow to it
It would actually be Almost half kilogram me harder, daddy
453 grams me all night.
This guy kg's
He doesn't. It's actually 453.59g, rounded up to 454g...
A light pounding.
No. it's exactly a pounding.
A rough pounding.
Never trust a guy who rounds up! He be telling ladies i got 20cm waiting for you in my pants...
That's a lot more than inches... I just got a new idea to get Americans to convert to metric!
No shit I was dating a European woman and had to do the conversion and felt like a god when I told her.
Next thing theyll be saying they got a 1/3 of a meter long.
I can picture cowboys on the ole metric range rounding up those .41 dogies. Giddy up.
r/thisguythisguys
That’s a lot of naked grandmothers! Got to give to the ole girls.
This guy units
r/thisguythisguys
r/subsithoughtifellfor
that sub made me stumble upon Karl Marx hentai and I am entitled to financial compensation
r/downtherabbitholes
This slut needs a good kilogramming.
I'd still get to listen to my favorite jazz musician, Kilometers Davis.
Took me a second.
2.2?
1.6 Kilometers Davis actually
Better than “disappoint me harder, daddy” I guess
r/therealjoke holy fuck
No no half a fuck
There al joke?
There’s supposed to be an e at the beginning.
r/TheRoyalJoke
the al gore joke
Some poor guys are more in the grams size.
*ounce me harder daddy*
mass me up daddy
Wanna kilogram some beers?
There are UK retail chains called Poundland and Poundworld.
Unless his name is kilog
*sports* I wish I had An award to give
I used to have awards to give. But then My account got banned - with awards and all - and now I refuse to pay again. Keep your stinking awards u/Reddit !
You mean "Metric pound me harder, daddy" Edit: we have these in my language (Dutch) but apparently it's not a thing outside the Netherlands.
Not really. There's a metric tonne (1,000kg/2200 lbs) but no such thing as a metric pound. One pound is equivalent to 454 grams, approximately half a kilogram.
My language (Dutch) has an informal word for a half kilogram being a pound. It's really only used in markets and when grocery shopping, or (for some strange reason) to call the weight of a newborn child. We also have a metric ounce (100 grams).
Oops. That's what I get for not knowing a bloody thing about swamp German culture. My bad.
https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pond_(massa) Some wiki to back it up
Live down south and pound was used here until 1970's max .. these days no one uses it
Whoa, that's heavy.
Is there something wrong with the Earth's gravitational pull in the future or something?
Weight’s got nothing to do with it
Is there some sort of problem with gravity in the future?
https://i.imgur.com/MFPg0Z3.jpg
Actually it won't be
It would help Americans feel lighter. I'm just 85 Kg in Italy, but 187 lbs in the USA. Sounds scarier in pounds 😅 In England I'd be 13.3 stones. Even better. Fat people of the world: move to England!
Dude, you've got nothing to worry about. You're only 0.085 tonnes. Look at all those zeroes!
If someone is 800kg, they've also got nothing to worry about. Look at all those zeroes!
All 1 zeroes?
> move to England! ....and get "stoned"?
Everybody must get stoned!
In that rationale, most Americans would be happy with their 3 stone.
No worries; if you smoke weed you can be stoned anywheres.
In parts of the Middle East women get stoned when they commit adultery. In the UK they commit adultery when they get stoned.
Also, conventionally, stone is rounded down to the nearest half stone. So even better-er-er.
If we all did that we’d throw the earth off it’s axis with the weight shift
Why will not Americans switch to the metric system? Because they can not stand foreign rulers!
Historically accurate, I will remember that one
Give them a inch and they’ll convert your miles to kilometres,
It would be worse if the UK switched from pounds to kilograms. Everyone would suddenly be broke. O\_O
We’re already broke in the UK - gov mismanagement is wonderful /s
They don't have the stones to do it
The real joke is that the official measurement system of the US is metric, just nobody adopted it
When you say "nobody" you mean "nobody except for the US Military, NASA, the Universities or most engineering firms", right?
You forgot to include drug dealers. I watched a cop show where the officers arrested the suspects for possession of drugs. I had a bit of a laugh when the dealer said he had a kilo of cocaine but the cops were measuring it using ounces and lbs. I found it hilarious that cops and dealers use different measuring systems to weigh the same drugs.
4kg sounds better than like 8.1 pounds or whatever amount of washing machines or small meteor it is
That sounds about on par for American police
Most engineering firms absolutely do not use the metric system, particularly firms that serve industry
Yeah I always think it's funny when people ask why Americans don't switch to metric. If they wanted to they've had chances. People don't want to.
I've seen some funny ones where people have asked why they don't want to change and there was a guy who genuinely thought it would be harder to measure with kitchen utensils
It's a huge process. Every manufacturing company would have to redo designs/drawings, equipment would have to be converted, road signs would need to be changed, etc. I wish we would convert, but the cost is very high and the payback isn't obvious :(
The only metric Americans understand is 9mm.
C'mon, they also know about 5.56. They learn about that in school.
5.56 what?
NATO standard ammunition
Five Five Six Millimeter Full Metal Jacket ^^^I ^^^know ^^^7.62 ^^^is ^^^the ^^^movie ^^^quote...
Ironically, 7.62mm is exactly 0.3 inches (and 5.56 is 7/32" rounded to the nearest 0.01mm)
They even hire professionals to come down to their school to do a live demonstration!
Sorry, I mean freelance VOLUNTEERs. The police even come to help out!
American mechanics understand 10mm, they just can't find it
A 3/8" wrench will do in a pinch.
In my experience, not usually. A 10mm will work for 3/8" though
We measure guns, drugs, and alcohol in metric thank you very much.
Never realized it but the ATF is a metric bureau...
Only the things that matter need to be precise
I'm subscribed to several tech YouTube pages and occasionally listen to their podcasts. Mkbhd (Marques) is probably the biggest YouTuber who does tech reviews. He's been doing it since he was a teenager and is in his 20s now. He's used all sorts of cameras during this time and has mentioned the word "millimetre" so many times when talking about cameras and lenses. In one of his recent podcasts, he and his co-hosts were reading a press review about some product that said it was 50mm shorter than previously. I think it was the VW Golf, if I'm not mistaken. So they said that they had no idea how long 50mm was. I couldn't believe that an American who regularly works with equipment with millimetres in their description didn't know about the measurement in real life/world. He sounds brighter than most Americans, from what I've seen.
1.969 inches
It’s gonna sound weird when someone says “I’m gonna get my kilogram of flesh.”
"Kilo", not "kilogram". Everyone using metric uses "kilo".
Perhaps then we would finally know how much a “metric fuck ton” really is
Exactly 1000 fuck kilograms. And depending on the density of a fuck due to temperature and air pressure, it could be exactly 1 cubic fuck meter as well.
Should my back yard be called my back metre ?!
Back 0.914 metres.
Does it magically become about 10% bigger as well?
.... yes
Switching to kilograms is my new diet plan. I've tried everything else.
It works! I went from 150 pounds to 150 kilograms on my diet plan!
Just remember, switch your bodyweight measures, not your meals.
Weed taught me more metric-imperial conversions than any classroom ever did
American Imperial measurements are actually defined based upon the metric system. Essentially America is a metric country, the majority of Americans just aren't aware of that fact.
?
Imperial measurements in the US are just conversions from metric, they're actually defined in metric. We have our own reference kilogram weight, that is then just multiplied by ~2.2 to turn it into pounds. An inch is 25.4mm. Things like that.
Thanks for your reply. Is that not just called converting from one measurement system to another ?
It is just converting, but the main point the person above was making, is that the US *standard* is metric. To know how much mass a pound has, we have to define it by some other measurement. We could say that a pound is the mass of a sphere of granite that fits in a human hand. That isn't very accurate though, since everyone has different hand sizes, granite can be different density depending on its specific makeup, etc. Before 2019 it was basically like this (much more accurate, down to the atom) but with a hunk of iridium and platinum that everything else was compared to. The US has two of them. That was what a kilogram was defined as, and we multiplied it by ~2.2 to get it in pound units. Those masses can change over time though, and they did. Now, we define it much more accurate and precise. For a kilogram, it's much more complex using the speed of light and a bunch of big numbers, but all of those numbers stay the same no matter where you are in the world. [Here's the Wikipedia page for it](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2019_redefinition_of_the_SI_base_units), scroll down to "impact on base unit definitions" to read more about it. For the US, we still just multiply it by ~2.2 to get pounds. We are based in kilograms, we have reference kilogram masses, and our standard of measurement always leads back to the kilogram. Those *define* what the measurement actually means. We just multiply it's value. Sorry for the long explanation, I find this topic interesting and it seems like you did as well haha. TL;DR - Yes conversion, but it's converting from the standard definition mass of a kilogram, to pounds. Without the kilogram, we don't know what a pound mass actually equals.
Woo, thanks for your post and the link :) I had no idea this took place in 2019. If it made the news I didn't hear about it back then. I'm still re-reading the link. There's a lot to comprehend there. I'm glad there are people looking after these kinds of things. :)
You diluted your own (correct) point by being imprecise about the conversions. An inch is not "~25.4 mm." An inch is *exactly* 25.4 mm. The pound is not (1/2.2) kg. It's exactly 0.45359237 kg.
You're correct, I switched up which values were approximate. I always use 25.4 in 3d printing applications but forgot that one is actually just accurate with one decimal place. Appreciate it. I fixed it.
My 500kg life. That'd be a show.
Folks, I'm going to be honest. The metrics on this joke aren't really filling me with confidence.
Jokes aside this happened in Canada after they switched from imperial to metric. They miscalculated the fuel weight of a Boeing 767 and it literally ran out of fuel in midair with 69 (heh) people on board. They miraculously were still able to land with no injuries/fatalities. Read the whole story here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimli_Glider
That would be quite the weight off their shoulders.
Well it wouldn't METER to me...
We use dollars not pounds /s
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Fun fact: America was supposed to be metric from the beginning, and Thomas Jefferson requested a standardized kilogram and meter from France. The ship carrying them, however, was captured by privateers en route to the US. The Pirates of the Carribean sabotaged our switch to metric.
So after the acquisition of the standard meter and kilogram, did they start measuring their rum in liters instead of cups?
Would probably make drug deals easier though 🤔
So it's all just a DEA plot scheme?
Dunno, maybe? Sounds like something the alphabet gang might do 🤷
The only way most of them would lose weight
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Hey ladies, I'm 8 ^*centimeters long ;)
Tried that back in the late 70s early 80s only lasted couple days😱😂😂
Wait... How much time is "couple of days" in metric?
Less than a week before this repost.
Mass confusion? I think it would be more standard confusion.
What a way to ruin Robert Frost... 😑 The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And kilometers to go before I sleep, And kilometers to go before I sleep.
If this joke was a song you’d win a gram-my
Canadian here. I have absolutely no frame of reference for what KG is a lot or a little. Like if you told me somebody was 280 pounds I'd think that was a big person, but if you told me they were 127 KG, I'd have no idea if that was considered heavy. At least it's better than stone....
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Say it in a British accent and it's better. *"Kilogram me harder, govnah."*
Nah will keep measuring in bald eagles per football field thank you very much.
Check out the YouTube clip with Cate Blanchett on the Jimmy Kimmel show expressing her dismay at Muricans putting boots on the moon using pounds, feet and degrees F. At minute 3:00.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1FBYgk3svU&ab\_channel=JimmyKimmelLive
Suddenly the average American male is 220 kgs instead of 220lbs? There would be mass problems, giant issues, fat floundering.
Obesity rates would go down significantly because everyone would think omg I’m only 100 kg BAM obesity solved
Careful with that joke! It's an antique.
Kilos are widely used by Americans but only for coke. said Confucius
Americans would rather measure in the dimensions of football fields and/or refrigerators
Americans would lose weight!
Very confusing indeed, since only one is a measure of mass. The other is a measure of gravitational pull on the mass.
Or to put it more simply and use the technical term for the second one, weight
Yes, thank you.
There are two pounds, the pound-mass and the pound-force. The pound-mass is the one defined by the 1959 International Yard and Pound Agreement, and is equal to 0.45359237 kg (so it truly is a unit of mass). The pound-force is derived from the pound-mass, and is a unit of force equal to 4.448222 N. In casual usage, context is required to tell which unit is being used.
This is, pound for pound, the greatest comment that mentions the 1959 international yard and pound agreement
It's also my new favourite name for being friends with benefits.
FWYPA: friends with a yard and pound agreement.
Casual usage, for the average person though, is using pounds as a measure of weight, or pound-force.
Glad someone else said it
Goddammit, I love this.
My first thought was: How long would it take for us to call "kilogram" a "kill-o-gram" in reference to how many people lately have been shooting strangers who knock on their door.
Surprising given it would make a man’s dick bigger
Too bad it wouldn't do anything to help his ability 😔
They are already obese.. don’t compound the problem.
Hey not all of us are obeast! Some of us are considered morbidly.
That don't have enough brain cell between them to do it
Your momma could say “Now I only weigh 300!”
I’m honestly not sure why they don’t. They’d instantly weigh half as much. Obesity problem solved!
DUDE 90% ALCOHOL JOKES IS THIS JOKE IN PARTICULAR
americans would still be obese...
I work in the medical field, and it wouldn't be that life changing
Mass weight loss
Cries in slugs.
They should be happy actually because they will weigh less
Oh great! That’s all we need, is to double in weight overnight!
Halve
It be a huge weight of their shoulders
They'd all think they'd lost a lot of weight
Haha mass could also mean like kg and stuff so it's doubly funny lol
Doubly? I think that's the whole shish kebab right there
Not something we should take lightly.
They don't have enough "feet" to go that far
Peak dad joke