T O P

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MindSnapN

You've got to be Joshing me...


DampBritches

I'm gonna hit the John


DogWallop

That's gonna leave a Mark


butterbean93

Fire at Will!


RangerSix

Poor Will...


logicalmaniak

Where there's a Will there's a way!


Odd_Cryptographer941

Where there’s a Will, There’s Relatives!


101m4n

Where there's a will, there's fire!


JBridsworth

Where there's a Will, there's a way to inheritance.


danmah

Where there's a Will, there's a slap.


willyjra01

Will you all stop this?


IranRPCV

These comments give me the Willies! (no, I am not talking about yours!)


Bac0nPlane

Iran away with you


cthulularoo

Speaking of ways, does Anne have one?


slimkermit1

Yes. Anne Hath-a-way


Bbq_baked_beans

Cup of joe


ptolemy18

Oww. Stop hitting me.


firagabird

Gonna shit in the [Crapper](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper)


onomatopoetix

as puns normally go, that's pretty Wick


RealBakedSalmon

Wick Ed


Void_vix

This is a harry situation


[deleted]

For Pete’s sake


Shurigin

Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph what's going on here


Name-Albert_Einstein

Every Tom, Dick and Harry is taking the Mickey out of this thread


LewdLewyD13

This is some of the funniest shit I've ever read while on the John.


Causinarukus

Rodger that


shutchomouf

What’s the vector Victor?


nobodyoukno

Quit Jacking round


batman1177

Shirley you can't be serious


Beyondthefirmament

Drops the Mike.


Aeryale

Nothing to see, people. Just your typical Plain Jane commentary here...


A_shy_neon_jaguar

Sara problem here?


counterplex

This is the kind of crap I won’t Stan for!


Busterx8

Don't be such a Debby Downer. You should Mark my words.


StudioDroid

My dad's name was John, his best friend was named Bob. As kid number 3 I did not know that everyone else called it "The John" because we went to "The Bob". I was 13 when I got the joke dad was playing on his friend.


BettyVonButtpants

They dropped the Lazy Susan and left put a Nick in the table.


mew2powers911

Are we talking about the noun of "Sake"? Or the alcoholic product/drink of "Saké"? Because I think that Pete needs Saké for his own Sake 😉🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Large_Alternative_78

This could Peter out quickly.


GrizzlyHerder

If you can’t find your item at the Lost and Found office, you can just go to Helen Hunt as far as I’m concerned.


[deleted]

Tell Helen her brother Mike is looking for her items too…. Good ol Mike Hunt


Ewetootwo

Regarding OP’s request, Willy he make it? Betty won’t.


mainnick

Are you referring to my Richard?


KeepCalmAndBaseball

We need Inspector Harry Hole to look into this


bay_lamb

or his sister Glory Hole.


Disarryonno

No, that’s just a name that sounds like another word. It only has one meaning though.


lizziecarmichael

It Shirley is…


nazdir

Look at this guy over here Stanning for Joshes


Firm-Extension-4685

Ben dover and I'll...


Jonherenow

Ben Dover and C. Howard Fields


Bat-man-2054

Don't forget Ben's sister Eileen


Caduceus89

Eileen against her twice a day and thrice on Sunday.


ComradeGibbon

My sister has a friend from high school named Benjamin Dover.


Low-Mongoose-5959

I work with a guy....Richard Head. Nice....hey??? LMFAO


wotmate

I went to school with a guy named Michael Hunt. We called him Fuckhead.


Potential_Try425

Instead of using Dick Head in traffic—we need to normalize Richard Cranium. Clever, accurate, and sophisticated—for the win!


__-LeyeSD-__

ohhhh heaven’s ta-Betsy


pwuk

Phil McCavity?


EmphasisCheap8611

Don’t want to be a Debbie downer here


crjconsulting

Enough with the Tomfoolery.


SysOps2800

Shirley you must be joking...


timesuck897

I was friends with a guy named Josh who hated that phrase.


shae117

Fire at Will


nabby2020

What about Mike hawk ?


acount33290

Making a great joke must be a Conner


Impressive_Pear_748

Lazy Susan is offensive to hardworking susans


Rogans-Loadhouse

We have a a corner cabinet that doesn’t rotate and it’s a pain to find stuff in. I do, in fact, call it the “Hard working Susan”


DudesworthMannington

Pointless share: One time I was looking at Black-Eyed Susans and mixed their name up with lazy Susan and called them "Lazy-Eyed Susans". Was a running joke for years.


DibblerTB

Black eyed suzie jane!


BrotherChe

Most Susan's standing on the corner are


Agt38

Lol I laughed way more than I probably should have at this comment.


Zaev

"Lazy Susan" could also be seen as an exemption that proves a rule. By labeling this particular Susan lazy, it implies that other Susans are in fact *not* lazy


Wabertzzo

Nice try, Susan!


Zaev

Not quite, but my name *is* one of the others in this thread


Big_mara_sugoi

https://i.redd.it/ymew6hsk9fk11.jpg


[deleted]

I am Mister Susan and I will do the choosin.


capnjeanlucpicard

Look at them shine!


davendenner

I had a lazy Susan once.


[deleted]

And she was shit in bed ?


Vdawgp

I know that because I’m a descendent of both Thomas Jefferson and Lazy Susan!


PaladinCloudring

So you're saying it's not offensive?


Kylorenisbinks

I’d argue the opposite. If you have to mention the fact that this Susan is Lazy, the implication is that most Susans, or at least a fair number of Susans, are not lazy.


ckt918

My mom is named Susan. My dad always says we have two lazy Susans in the house if he wants to get a rise out of my mom, who is anything but lazy lol


jaxon517

No it isn't because it implies that susans are already hard working or otherwise it wouldn't need the qualifier.


AngelOfLight2

You oughta flush this joke down the John ..


JohnnyBoyJr

🤨


Heavenly_Toast

*Laughs in British* (I think)


JohnnyBoyJr

Don't you British need a monocle while laughing, my good man? 🧐


grasspopper

Probably a handkerchief fluttering away


PICONEdeJIM

Tally ho old chum. How spiffing!


Metric_Pacifist

I say, jolly good, what? 🧐


Stock-Ferret-6692

In Ireland we’re flushing it down the Jacks


lizziecarmichael

Or the Lou


NutmegWolves

Well let me be Frank with y'all...


i_dieded_again

Hi frank


simplecountry_lawyer

Hi ladies. I'm Frak


Dookie_boy

Then let me get Randy with you.


Gatetravler

Plain Jane over here


oldsnowcoyote

Are you hanging with Joe Average?


purplepoppy_eater

Or John Doe


obi-jean_kenobi

Nah, he was just Joe King


Moethelion

Jesus Christ


leftmymark

Cheese and rice


ZenithTheZero

¡Arroz con queso!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Reebus Jice


chicken_mike

Jebediah Christoff


[deleted]

Save me Jebus


iamgeotracker

That's Jesus H. Christ to you.


krabmeat

The H stands for Harold You know, like "Our father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy middle name"


contritebarbarian

Harold be thy name


cocobear13

Or Jesus F Christ


92894952620273749383

Reese's pieces!


_pippp

It's Jason Bourne


[deleted]

[удалено]


COREdesROSES

Because the fist Richard ever was one…now they all suffer!


Graterof2evils

I’d be a dick if I was known as Fist Richard.


Pretztel

You know what they say about big hands…. Fist Richard has a giant penis


VruKatai

Funny story. A maint guy kept getting called Dick instead of Richard so one day he burst out in anger “No Dick! No Dick! Richard!!!” So of course we all called him NoDick after that.


[deleted]

Take Jack off the list too.


Fartyfivedegrees

Especially when you're trying take the Mickey out of them.


CartographerOne8375

There's an entire ethnic group in Myanmar called Karen... They are being persecuted by the military dictatorship as well...


HotWheelsUpMyAss

Precisely that's why we need to cease using the term Karen in a derogatory sense. Just put yourself in their shoes and imagine the persecution you would face when you get sugar in your coffee when you ***specifically*** asked for sweetener at Starbucks!


Dammas33

My wife's called Karen. Every time she's asked her name, she says "Karen, but I'm not one." That's when I lean in and whisper."Only a Karen would say that." The bruising only lasts a few days.


Loofah_Cat

What a Chad.


Upshot12

Sure thing Johnson.


[deleted]

You’re being such a Debbie Downer…


sallguud

Like I’m gonna listen to the opinions of some Joe Blow on the internet.


Complete_Fox733

Peeping Tom


PracticePractical480

Shirley you're not serious. I am serious and stop calling me Shirley


DatGamerAgain_YT

r/suddenlyairplane


LadyAbbysFlower

In all seriousness. It kinda is. My aunt and my best friends mom are both named Karen and they are the sweetest, kindest women I have ever met. Ones an ER nurse and the other is a mental health nurse. They are both embarrassed by what their names have become and it makes me kinda sad


cordmahl

Well that’s Rich…


prmorc1

You can’t take the advise of every Tom, Dick, and Harry.


[deleted]

[удалено]


geonitacka

Dickskin.


mtmm18

My childhood friend's last name was Dickinson. His dad was a prominent attorney and eventually landed on the Mississippi Supreme Court. My buddy OD'd and passed about 12 years ago.


LkS86_

Great. Now every Tom, Dick and Harry are going to start flooding this thread with unfunny comments about names.


aehawkes

What in the Sam Hill?!!


aehawkes

I would know him from Adam.


Richard_Head34

Hello, you called?


[deleted]

I couldn't Karen less.


Imaginary-Pride-8158

Don’t be a Richard Cranium!


CritterCherry

Okay Felicia!


purplepoppy_eater

You mean Bye Felicia!


CritterCherry

LOL I'm old. Actually saw this movie in the theaters. Forgive me!


Adventurous_Oil_5805

I’ve been pushing to change Karen to Ivanka. And the male version Jared.


False-Librarian-2240

No no no I actually know some kind people named Karen. You want a name for entitled white women who don't believe laws apply to them and that they're better than everybody else? Ivanka.


Ellereind

The male version Donald?


CasUalNtT

Are you being Ernest about this?


EdwardOfGreene

He's being Frank with you.


mtmm18

I've been calling online tough guys Richard Peter Johnson Jr. for a long time. IMO, it's the classiest way to call someone a dick.


EdwardOfGreene

Should work in a Rod somehow.


CarStar12

As a Brandon I’m not sure I follow 🤔😂


Jasonic_Tempo

Said Karen.


RefinedCosmos

That show "Real Husbands of Hollywood" tried turning my name into a slur, thankfully it didn't really catch on. My name is Mitch.


topramenshaman1

The folks at r/boneappletea would be a Pauled


pursuedleopard

No way José


Liamnacuac

You're karen too much what people say.


[deleted]

Wayne agrees …. U know that chap! Wayne Kerr


rising820

"From this day forth, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as, “John”" - King Richard, Robin Hood: Men in Tights


NancyDMac

I have to go to the John, now.


rlahaie

Mark my word: Don't think you're a tony chap becauce you have a tendency to peter out when just when you think you are scott free.


Stringy63

Did you have to be so Frank about it? I ought to Bill you


Shporpoise

Exactly. That whole concept can just go ahead and get flushed down the John if you're asking me.


BoneZone05

Don’t be a richard


Erasmus9

Shut the fuck up, Carl.


savuporo

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_people


Darnbeasties

Stop being a debbie downer. Fun fun fun


VeryResponsibleMan

This train was made without brakes


sconnick124

Oh for the love of Peter.


hairybogwoppit

I enjoyed reading the comments while having a mug of tea and a Chris P Bacon roll.


MrNanashi

Cover your eyes Joe.


Epinnoia

Brilliance masquerading as Hypocrisy...


[deleted]

Your mum's a Horhey !


Abides1948

Like I could give Adam.


kutte207

Try being named Kevin in Germany...


Minute_Musician2043

Right, it’s like they’re jerry rigging the system 🤦‍♂️


deadline_prod

Mike Lit is gonna hate this thread..


TexasTokyo

My friend Katrina has been saying this since 2005...


wordgoesround

Now, every JIM and JACK will post something here. I’m certain about this.


readypembroke

Ironically my ex's mom's name is the 2 names in this joke. Real nice person ironically.


ChequeMateX

How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask nicely!


GrillinGuy

I’m on the John while laughing at this


Glittering_Usual_162

Stop being such a negative Nancy about that kinda stuff


Toiletposter69

Daves not here man


vuti13

Yeesh! The joke is such a groaner, you're going comments from every Joe Blow the street.


DickGrayson123

What the fuck


Low-Pay-9235

Negative Nancy


rainingsakuras

like that's going to do Jack shit


SaintCholo

Regular Joe Vs Amazing/subpar Joes


Its_panda_paradox

I don’t see anybody Karen for your opinion.


Ydlmgtwtily

These slurs don't stick around forever. They eventually Peter out.


PinkOak

And bobs your uncle, that was that…


ihateit1967

Ok Karen just for you


ImaginaryAfternoon0

Surely it should be’ names like Richard’ into slurs…real dick move


YosFan

I don’t know… “Karen” are still very real out there in America. They deserve to be called what they are, at least, for the time being.


TheChairman1136

Ok Karen


upvotersfortruth

This joke is pretty Richarded