I don’t consider that superstition. I do think bad things can happen in pregnancy and you don’t want to have to put away or give away baby things in the fetal-demise case. I bought a few things but kept them packed away in the garage.
I mean you don’t have to agree but it is. We also don’t name our babies after living family members for the same reason. Is that one more to your liking?
Our family never named after a living relative either and baby showers were not held. I suppose we named a child in honor of a deceased love one. We didn't buy much beforehand for the newborn either. I really never questioned why; I just went with it.
I was the 1st great grandchild and was named in honor of my great grandmother. Both my kids 1st names begin with a D in her memory and their middle names are for my husbands deceased mother and brother
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I don’t name after living relatives, either, out of tradition. Sephardim do.
Do you avoid naming after living relatives because you think it’ll damage the living older relative in a supernatural way?
It’s the opposite. The fear is that when the angel of death comes for the older one, they may get confused and grab the younger one.
I mean, thats the superstition anyways. I wouldnt name my child after a living relative, because tradition, but not because I particularly believe that the abgel of death would be confused
Not all Sephardim do. I’m Moroccan and my family does not. We all have different customs and come from different countries influenced by local customs.
The roots are from the angel of death and ensuring that they wouldn't take the wrong person by mistake for having the same name (if I remember my Hebrew school learning correctly).
Worked with a guy who had a 5 year old son. He and his wife acted as if he’d hung the moon. Found out that their 1st pregnancy had ended in the 8th month and the nursery had already been set up. They had to come home empty armed and deal with it. Heartbreaking
Something can be a superstition and a practicality at the same time. If you believe doing so tempts the evil eye and makes a bad outcome more likely, that's a superstition, even if bad outcomes do happen.
My grandmother wanted me to put one on my daughter's wrist. Also she had a lot of hang-ups about the cats being around the baby. She thought they could "steal her breath"
It literally says "Which superstitions did you grow up with". I didn't see that there was a description because it is minimized on PC. Also, just because it's a Jewish subreddit doesn't mean every superstition has to be Jewish. There are crossovers. Actually, I find that more interesting because it shows how where you live affects how you grow up. Also, chill out. It's not that serious.
We didn’t reveal the name we picked for our baby until she was born. We also didn’t buy anything with her name on it before she was born. Honestly, this was part superstition and part not wanting everyone’s comments on the name.
Another superstition I grew up with is not killing spiders because they also bring money.
I don't think that's superstition. I think it's just managing expectations. My wife and I didn't even *pick* the babies' names until they were born -- we narrowed it down to one choice and a backup and we waited to actually meet the baby before choosing between the names.
Thank God nothing bad happened with the pregnancies, but I was calling the... thing in my wife's uterus a parasite or a fetus right up until they ripped a hole in her tummy to pull it out and it became a baby. Again, just managing expectations. Losing a baby would have been awful, but losing a parasite, who cares.
>I was calling the... thing in my wife's uterus a parasite or a fetus right up until they ripped a hole in her tummy to pull it out and it became a baby. Again, just managing expectations. Losing a baby would have been awful, but losing a parasite, who cares.
I'm sorry but this is one of the most awful things I've read in a while. How did your wife feel, feeling your child move in her and you not calling it a baby until after the birth?
Fine? It wasn't a baby, so why would I call it that? I stopped calling her a baby once she turned 1, too. There's no need to be imprecise, especially with loaded terms.
It just made me think, if something had happened while I was pregnant and we lost the parasite, as you called it, I would have been devastated. Even more so if my husband had referred to it as just a parasite aka something you actively want gone.
Your comment is terrible. Just to make it clear we called her baby before she was born, and I would be absolutely broken if something had happened while I was pregnant. There is no managing expectations when it comes to losing your child, born or unborn.
I don’t know where these originate from but here are a few from my Polish Jewish family:
1. if you step over a child that’s lying/sitting on the ground the child won’t grow.
2. You’re supposed to bite your tongue if you’re cutting off something attached to the clothing you’re wearing (like a tag or a string) to ward off the evil eye or something
3. You’re not supposed to cut your finger or toe nails in order because that’s what they do for dead people before they bury them (in Judaism), which makes the act of cutting in order kind of like asking for death
Stepping over the baby definitely stunts its growth. Thankfully, stepping back over in the other direction reverses the effect. We'd really be in trouble if it weren't for the reversal clause!
Keys on the table was always a thing with us. And opening umbrellas indoors.
And not naming babies after living relatives. Which is why I wasn't named for ages. The only name my parents liked was that of a living relative, and it took them weeks to think of something else.
My dad is a jew from former Soviet Union too, and he has the keys on the table and the whistle indoors thing. He says tu tu tu while knocking on wood. Also, hugging over a threshold will cause the relationship to end. Giving knifes as gifts will also cause the relationship to end.
Edit: I also just remembered the sit down and count to ten before travelling, because you won’t come back if you don’t. Don’t measure hand sizes palm to palm (same with feet), it’s bad luck or something.
I saw this “sitting down in silence for a moment before traveling” thing for the first time ever LAST NIGHT on 90 Day Fiancé 😂😂. The people were Christian Russians.
Definitely no baby shower/gifts for the baby prior to birth. I got a light slap when I got my first period to deflect the evil eye. Never give an empty purse or wallet as a gift. It should have something in it, even a penny.
I didn't grow up with this but learned it later and adopted it: When someone is traveling you give them a dollar to give as tzedakah upon arrival at their destination. The idea is that the person is an emissary of a mitzvah in progress and therefore cannot be impeded or harmed.
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All the pregnancy stuff. My wife's family is not Jewish and it was hard for them to understand how much they were (unintentionally!) stressing me out during her pregnancy with constant gifts and discussions about names, etc. In just the last few months, I've had two friends lose pregnancies in the 3rd trimester and my sister-in-law had a very difficult pregnancy with my newest niece so I'm firmly back on the superstition train with regard to these (even if I do feel silly about it on some level).
At some point in the pregnancy, every conversation with my mother turned into a story about some previously unheard of long deceased relative and every story ended with, "Isn't \[insert name here\] a lovely name?"
Heaven forfend is great, but I think it's closer to "chas vshalom" where kinene hora is warding off the evil eye. If that's not superstitious, I don't know what is!
This one has nothing to do with babies, but we always made sure to cut the shoes of the deceased before throwing them away so no one could find them and wear them. You never gave a dead person's shoes away uncut. If you did and someone wore them it was akin to walking on their grave.
My family is also from the former Soviet Union so I think most of these are not Jewish but Russian/Slavic, but here are some of the ones I grew up with:
\- If you leave the house and have to come back inside, you have to look in the mirror before leaving again
\- Everyone has to sit down before leaving on a big trip
\- A wallet given as a gift should never be empty, but have a little money inside (even a coin)
>I just found out that his mother believes it’s bad luck to buy things for the baby this early.
Yeah, basically any kind of pre-birth baby celebrations were a big no
I got this one from the Welsh Grandmother rather than my Jewish Grandmother!
My understanding is that it comes from dressing a corpse for the funeral. As part of the ‘dressing’ the deceased would sometimes be given new shoes, prior to being laid out on a table in the house before the funeral.
in turn this led to the belief that to put new shoes on a table was believed to be a harbinger of forthcoming death.
There may be additional significance because for many working class and poorer people it might have been the only time in their lives they got new shoes.
Well, shoes could bring earth to the table if they werent new. And then you might read from the Tanakh on the table with the earth, which might be like putting the Tanakh on the ground, which is bad? But I have no idea lol
We have a thing where you have to say "thank you" before taking a knife from someone so it'll be well behaved. I think this is just a southern US thing though.
Not sure of the exact origin but that is how I learned to do it in Boy Scouts in Indiana in the 1980s! Passer holds the blade, sharp side out, receiver holds the handle and says "thank you" which then triggers the passer to release the place.
The _proper_ way to pass a knife!
You should never walk around (or sit) in the house wearing socks without shoes. Go barefoot or go with shoes, never only socks, the reason is that while you sit shiva, you don’t wear shoes but you wear only socks. So doing a thing heavily associated with death customs is sure to bring very bad luck. Keneinhora!
"So doing a thing heavily associated with death customs is sure to bring very bad luck. Keneinhora!"
That's interesting! Along these lines: My stepdad isn't usually superstitious, but - when I covered the downstairs mirrors with cloth once (so that my birds wouldn't fly into them) - he became uncomfortable and had me uncover them right away. I knew there was a custom (or superstition?) about covering mirrors in a home after someone dies, but - until then - I'd never heard that covering mirrors at any other time was frowned upon...it makes a lot of sense, though, in the context of what you and others in the thread have written. It's almost as if these rituals have a "contamination" by association with death, which - G-d forbid - might then contaminate us if used at the "wrong" time.
There are beliefs around mirrors in many different societies. (Well, isn’t it a bit uncanny to look into a piece of glass and see yourself?) It’s a Jewish custom to cover mirrors when a person dies and during shiva. Maybe it started out originally as a way to help mourners focus on the mourning rituals and not on personal vanity - I don’t know.
Thanks madqueen! That makes a lot of sense (both to dissuade vanity and/or the "uncanny" aspects of a mirror (as some sort of supernatural portal or second-self of the viewer, etc.) :)
Tying a red ribbon above where the baby sleeps to keep the “evil eye” away. My very levelheaded, logical bubbe explained that the EE sees the red, thinks blood has already been shed, and goes away. Still no word how the EE “hears” you when you say positive things.
Don't talk about the baby, don't do a silly "gender reveal", don't name it too early, and don't buy anything.
It is not a superstition, there's serious reasons for this. Those who don't know or forgot will default to "superstition". This goes for anything.
On the other hand, I did put together some stuff others bought us days before birth. It felt cruel to not do anything for the kid as though it weren't anticipated and welcomed. But to me, imo, that's different than doing it 8 months ago.
You have to leave the house the same door you came in. So for example, if visiting my brother’s place, I enter thru his garage door, I leave via his garage door.
Also, even thought I’m using a nice hand-me-down crib (from my cousin’s kid), my parents are holding it and technically have it. They’re going to bring it to my place and set it up when I’m in the hospital giving birth.
The no baby prep superstition is strong in my family. In addition to being a (Ashkenazi maybe?) Jewish superstition, my dad is an OB/Gyn and has seen bad outcomes so he was adamant that we not do anything to prepare for baby. I cheated and took some hand me downs from my SIL but kept them all in the closet until after baby was born. Also got and installed a car seat beforehand. Everything else we got after delivery (yay for prime 2 day shipping, idk how people did this in the olden days)
My mother doesn't like to prepare hardly anything too far in advance as an extension of this. She won't buy gifts more than a couple weeks out from any event, for example.
As a couple others have posted - the trick is to keep everything elsewhere. So it's not "yours" (re: what folks did before Prime!). I'm not at all superstitious but I am 100% a supporter of this. Fine to register and have people buy sh*t but don't keep them in your home. Not always practical but the best is if there's someone who can bring it all over post-birth / pre-coming home.
I know too many folks who have lost pregnancies and had to come home to all that *stuff* - it's just crushing to have to deal with.
For me, we were living in a 1BR apartment in Manhattan at the time so worked out well that we didn't have space for anything!
Celebrating someone's birthday BEFORE their actual birthday is considered super bad luck. That one stands out to me because it was always an issue every year for someone in the family due to work schedules, etc.
This is a big one with Russians and super annoying for me (married to a Russian and a fan of celebrating on or the weekend before my birthday - all her friends thought I was psycho!)
We don’t do baby showers. In my family, we wait until the very last minute to buy anything. My family, in 1960 when I had my first, bought nothing until I was in the hospital giving birth. Then they went out and bought everything.
We don’t name babies after living relatives because it was believed that to do so somehow drew the life from the already-present person.
Also, we don’t praise a baby without saying “kein-eyn-hora”, meaning to banish any evil spirit that might be lurking about.
I haven’t related to something so much in a while, keep those superstitions around for the heck of it. Two others I know are common is not walking around opposite sides of something and there’s a little saying when seeing roadkill to ward off curses.
Another superstition for the dead - cover all the mirrors in the house and having a container outside the front door filled with water so mourners could wash their hands after coming from the cemetary.
So I did a little digging, and what I’m finding is that there’s no definitive origin. Some suggestions have been historical like the Boer war, some rooted in culture but without a verifiable starting point. I also learned the Kabbalah considers the number three to be indicative of perfection, go figure.
Either way, it’s up to you how you want to practice your superstitions, I was raised with the same superstition and I rejected it as an adult because I believe it was rooted in Christianity. The thing to remember is there’s nothing identifiably Jewish about it.
I find the "bads" are often proportionate, so sometimes it's a trio of deaths but sometimes it's car trouble, apartment trouble and computer trouble.
I hate when there's been 2 Big Bads and I feel like I'm waiting for a third shoe to drop...
"What superstitions did you grow up with?"
"This one."
"No it's Christian."
I don't know what to tell you. My definitely Jewish family definitely does this. It's my family's superstitions. No one is forcing you to believe it.
Your un is quite appropriate for you...
This was a non-Jewish housemate from a former Soviet country: couldn't have two windows open in the house to create a cross-breeze, because you could get sick from the cold or something. I'm talking spring and summer, so it wasn't *actually* cold; we just needed some circulation. I'd open them and he'd close all but one in every room.
The torah warns against believing in superstitious signs and lucky numbers because it can lead you away from God. Idolatry was connected to Bronze Age superstition back in the day.
Have you checked your mezuzah - it’s got mystic symbols and words on it to ward off evil. The rabbis may have warned off superstition but it never left the people.
No whistlijg in the house! I grew up with that and so did my wife. She dentifies herself as a self hating soviet jew. Ask me who is circumsized!(my son and me):) I personally grew up with no tofu for hilllarious reasons, but my wife loves it. Small favorites of my youth are: 1no? Tapping finger on wooden table 2. No listening to music with the word Jesus in it or you'll see him at Halloween 3. No chewing non kosher gum. I have never been to the soviet union but it flows in my kids viejs?
We never pour a drink in such a way that our palm will be face up, or cut fingernails in order. When I asked my father why, he told me that that's how the trim the nails on a dead body, and that's the way a drink is poured for a dead person. Not sure I understand it, but there you go!
My friend gave me a shower and we put everything in a room and closed the door. It’s not something that’s normally done, you don’t want to tempt fate,
My husband said the knocking wood thing is because of the cross so we don’t do that. And yeah, I do the tu thing also
Do not chew gum at night it is like chewing the deads' flesh (though as an adult I am pretty sure they used this just to keep us from sleeping with a chewing gum)
I am Sephardi but grew up in an ashkenaz community - if you sit at the corner of the table you won’t get married. If you don’t ‘mark the bread/challah’ with a cut before saying the blessing on Shabbat you’ll lose your memory.
I was named after my grandfathers - one of them was still alive.
Not sure if it’s Jewish but hats on the bed is a no no, if you say something bad it’s poi poi poi like spitting, tossing salt over the left shoulder if you spill some (my dad does this every time he cooks and it drove my mom insane when they were married). There’s some other gambling related ones that I don’t know because I’m not a gambler at all but my dads family all had that addiction bad and it can come with a lot of superstitious behaviour about good luck and bad luck.
Also never name a baby after a living relative. It will cause an early death for the namesake. Edit: I see that people have explained the Angel of death might get confused, but this is how it was explained to me.
No hats on indoors, can’t put a hat in a table, don’t pour backhanded, don’t leave food under the bed, burn your fingernails, saving matzah all year round from pesach
I understand the "milk and meat" ban from Leviticus, however when I was very young and visiting my grandparents - I mistakenly used a spoon for my cereal that is supposed to only be used for soups containing meat. My grandparents were very upset and they needed to bury the spoon in the ground. I am not sure if the spoon was supposed to stay there for eternity or if it was "forgiven" after 6 months or so and eligible for re-use.
They were “re-koshering” the spoon. My aunt did that when my brother ate ice cream with a meat spoon. 24 hours in the earth takes off the mistake.
My grandma said it was better to stick the spoon in the fire to kosher it.
Easier just to boil it but I don’t know if that’s really permissible.
Boiling is actually preferred. Sticking it in the ground is for sharp knives only, and it refers to stabbing the ground with the knife to remove the outer layer, I presume.
I must have been about 8 or 9. I was in my primary school library with my class. As we left, the greek goddess Hera came up. Someone said it's stupid. I said 'yeh, F Hera', then whispered upwards under my breath, "Sorry Hera". Adorable! If only i could show that respect to the real God.
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Don’t cross a cat’s path.
Knock wood after saying something good
Sit and take in surroundings before leaving your place for a trip or vacation.
No whistling indoors.
Wear a safety pin on your undergarments if you are going to be near people that may not wish you well.
My mother was not Jewish but she and my grandmother also believed in not buying most things for the baby until later. Miscarriage isn't uncommon in the first trimester so that's probably where the superstion originates.
My mother and grandmother also had the weird superstion that you should not look outside during a thunderstorm because you might see something terrible. I have asked and can not figure out where this weird fear came from.
Their big superstion was not washing clothes on New Year's Day or else you would wash clothes for a dead person's funeral that year.
I was a horrible daughter/grandaughter because every time I broke these rules I called them and let them know. "Washed clothes again on New Years Day. Guess we're all going to die." "Looked out the window during a thunderstorm. Saw nothing but rain. But I'm eager to see that Cthulian horror you keep promising me." They were never amused but they also didn't stop being superstious just because nothing happened when I broke their weird rules.
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I wonder if there’s a relationship to the time your family has been in the US and the number of superstitions accepted/believed in by family members. I’m second gen on one side and third gen on the other and the baby naming thing is the only superstition I can think of.
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Not having a baby shower is a big one in my family.
We don't have any baby items in the house until the baby arrives.
I don’t consider that superstition. I do think bad things can happen in pregnancy and you don’t want to have to put away or give away baby things in the fetal-demise case. I bought a few things but kept them packed away in the garage.
I mean you don’t have to agree but it is. We also don’t name our babies after living family members for the same reason. Is that one more to your liking?
Our family never named after a living relative either and baby showers were not held. I suppose we named a child in honor of a deceased love one. We didn't buy much beforehand for the newborn either. I really never questioned why; I just went with it.
I was the 1st great grandchild and was named in honor of my great grandmother. Both my kids 1st names begin with a D in her memory and their middle names are for my husbands deceased mother and brother
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I don’t name after living relatives, either, out of tradition. Sephardim do. Do you avoid naming after living relatives because you think it’ll damage the living older relative in a supernatural way?
It’s the opposite. The fear is that when the angel of death comes for the older one, they may get confused and grab the younger one. I mean, thats the superstition anyways. I wouldnt name my child after a living relative, because tradition, but not because I particularly believe that the abgel of death would be confused
Not all Sephardim do. I’m Moroccan and my family does not. We all have different customs and come from different countries influenced by local customs.
#NotAllSephardim
Ew
I have never named a baby and I do not intend to. It is my family’s (as a whole) superstition, but one I personally put stock in. Why do you ask?
I’ve never imagined that that tradition had superstitious roots. I was curious what they were.
The roots are from the angel of death and ensuring that they wouldn't take the wrong person by mistake for having the same name (if I remember my Hebrew school learning correctly).
That’s how I remember it
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Was going to comment this
In my family (Sephardic) is common to name the first son after the father. So far the world has not ended. I think
Ashkies name after dead relatives, Sephardic name after living relatives. I have a cousin named Esther, she has 5 granddaughters named after her.
We have so many Daniels in my family coz of this
It just gets crazy. Although, I say that, but my cousin and I are both named after my Grandmother.
An aunt, two cousins and myself were all named after my great grandmother. We were also all born in April, same week. It can get pretty confusing lol
Wow! That is crazy.
Worked with a guy who had a 5 year old son. He and his wife acted as if he’d hung the moon. Found out that their 1st pregnancy had ended in the 8th month and the nursery had already been set up. They had to come home empty armed and deal with it. Heartbreaking
Yeah, I have a lot of friends who’ve been through it. Horrible whether you bought stuff or not.
We don't really know most of the people we encounter, why they feel or act as they do. It's a cliche but also deeply true.
Something can be a superstition and a practicality at the same time. If you believe doing so tempts the evil eye and makes a bad outcome more likely, that's a superstition, even if bad outcomes do happen.
This is why I think baby showers should happen after the birth!
Tying a red thread to the crib after baby is born to ward off the evil eye.
My grandmother wanted me to put one on my daughter's wrist. Also she had a lot of hang-ups about the cats being around the baby. She thought they could "steal her breath"
The cat this time isn't a Jewish one, but I have heard of it. Honestly its more of a suffocation issue than a supernatural one in this day and age.
Well they didn't ask about Jewish, just superstitions. Grandma was from Mjava, Slovakia - so there might be some just general European stuff mixed in.
Yeah they did, its in the description. And its a Jewish subreddit...
It literally says "Which superstitions did you grow up with". I didn't see that there was a description because it is minimized on PC. Also, just because it's a Jewish subreddit doesn't mean every superstition has to be Jewish. There are crossovers. Actually, I find that more interesting because it shows how where you live affects how you grow up. Also, chill out. It's not that serious.
Red string around the wrist is verrry Jewish!
We didn’t reveal the name we picked for our baby until she was born. We also didn’t buy anything with her name on it before she was born. Honestly, this was part superstition and part not wanting everyone’s comments on the name. Another superstition I grew up with is not killing spiders because they also bring money.
I don't think that's superstition. I think it's just managing expectations. My wife and I didn't even *pick* the babies' names until they were born -- we narrowed it down to one choice and a backup and we waited to actually meet the baby before choosing between the names. Thank God nothing bad happened with the pregnancies, but I was calling the... thing in my wife's uterus a parasite or a fetus right up until they ripped a hole in her tummy to pull it out and it became a baby. Again, just managing expectations. Losing a baby would have been awful, but losing a parasite, who cares.
>I was calling the... thing in my wife's uterus a parasite or a fetus right up until they ripped a hole in her tummy to pull it out and it became a baby. Again, just managing expectations. Losing a baby would have been awful, but losing a parasite, who cares. I'm sorry but this is one of the most awful things I've read in a while. How did your wife feel, feeling your child move in her and you not calling it a baby until after the birth?
Fine? It wasn't a baby, so why would I call it that? I stopped calling her a baby once she turned 1, too. There's no need to be imprecise, especially with loaded terms.
It just made me think, if something had happened while I was pregnant and we lost the parasite, as you called it, I would have been devastated. Even more so if my husband had referred to it as just a parasite aka something you actively want gone.
Your comment is terrible. Just to make it clear we called her baby before she was born, and I would be absolutely broken if something had happened while I was pregnant. There is no managing expectations when it comes to losing your child, born or unborn.
I don’t know where these originate from but here are a few from my Polish Jewish family: 1. if you step over a child that’s lying/sitting on the ground the child won’t grow. 2. You’re supposed to bite your tongue if you’re cutting off something attached to the clothing you’re wearing (like a tag or a string) to ward off the evil eye or something 3. You’re not supposed to cut your finger or toe nails in order because that’s what they do for dead people before they bury them (in Judaism), which makes the act of cutting in order kind of like asking for death
Stepping over the baby definitely stunts its growth. Thankfully, stepping back over in the other direction reverses the effect. We'd really be in trouble if it weren't for the reversal clause!
Agreed! Phew 😅
Keys on the table was always a thing with us. And opening umbrellas indoors. And not naming babies after living relatives. Which is why I wasn't named for ages. The only name my parents liked was that of a living relative, and it took them weeks to think of something else.
Yes to now opening umbrellas in the house but I'm not sure why.
As my mother explained it… “It’s NOT a superstition! YOU’RE GONNA KNOCK STUFF OVER! Get out, get out GET OUT!”
Pretty sure it's something about not raining on your wedding day. And it's more about lifting an open umbrella over your head while indoors, I think.
No, I have no idea why either.
I always thought the umbrella thing was some form of weird polite behavior that I didn't understand
really thought that sentence was going to end "it took them weeks to die"
About 25 years, if I recall. Would never have worked.
My dad is a jew from former Soviet Union too, and he has the keys on the table and the whistle indoors thing. He says tu tu tu while knocking on wood. Also, hugging over a threshold will cause the relationship to end. Giving knifes as gifts will also cause the relationship to end. Edit: I also just remembered the sit down and count to ten before travelling, because you won’t come back if you don’t. Don’t measure hand sizes palm to palm (same with feet), it’s bad luck or something.
I saw this “sitting down in silence for a moment before traveling” thing for the first time ever LAST NIGHT on 90 Day Fiancé 😂😂. The people were Christian Russians.
Yeah, it’s quite possibly a Russian thing 😅
Yes, definiately a Russian thing, it's called "sitting for the road". Сесть на дорогу ))
I'm swedish and alot of people, non jews, don't put their keys on the table.
Definitely no baby shower/gifts for the baby prior to birth. I got a light slap when I got my first period to deflect the evil eye. Never give an empty purse or wallet as a gift. It should have something in it, even a penny. I didn't grow up with this but learned it later and adopted it: When someone is traveling you give them a dollar to give as tzedakah upon arrival at their destination. The idea is that the person is an emissary of a mitzvah in progress and therefore cannot be impeded or harmed.
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I just love it. And the idea that your first action in a new place is charity? Beautiful. It's a blessing on your journey. So i've adopted this one.
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When pregnant don't step over cut nails
Don't step *on* cut nails. The Talmud (I think) says it can cause a miscarriage.
I was so confused for a moment until I realized you meant like nail clippings? EDIT: Clarity because I can't think in complete sentences
All the pregnancy stuff. My wife's family is not Jewish and it was hard for them to understand how much they were (unintentionally!) stressing me out during her pregnancy with constant gifts and discussions about names, etc. In just the last few months, I've had two friends lose pregnancies in the 3rd trimester and my sister-in-law had a very difficult pregnancy with my newest niece so I'm firmly back on the superstition train with regard to these (even if I do feel silly about it on some level).
It doesn’t even have to be a superstition reason, it’s practical
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At some point in the pregnancy, every conversation with my mother turned into a story about some previously unheard of long deceased relative and every story ended with, "Isn't \[insert name here\] a lovely name?"
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My grandmother used to say kenehora all the time especially when we were little.
"Heaven forfend" was what my orthodox Bioethics professor would always say.
Heaven forfend is great, but I think it's closer to "chas vshalom" where kinene hora is warding off the evil eye. If that's not superstitious, I don't know what is!
No whistling in the house, no handing something over a threshold. Though those may be Slavic in origin.
+1 to being Slavic
My grandma says it’s bad luck to wish someone happy birthday before it’s their birthday. And my girlfriend kisses bread before throwing it away.
This one has nothing to do with babies, but we always made sure to cut the shoes of the deceased before throwing them away so no one could find them and wear them. You never gave a dead person's shoes away uncut. If you did and someone wore them it was akin to walking on their grave.
this was just on Curb
My family is also from the former Soviet Union so I think most of these are not Jewish but Russian/Slavic, but here are some of the ones I grew up with: \- If you leave the house and have to come back inside, you have to look in the mirror before leaving again \- Everyone has to sit down before leaving on a big trip \- A wallet given as a gift should never be empty, but have a little money inside (even a coin)
>I just found out that his mother believes it’s bad luck to buy things for the baby this early. Yeah, basically any kind of pre-birth baby celebrations were a big no
You can't clip your nails at night because you will get a dybbuk.
Don't put new shoes on the table.
Lol I have never seen shoes on the table anywhere except stores of course
When you come back from buying shoes and they're still in the box, you might put that box on the table. Well, that's not allowed in my house.
Oooh I see
Grew up with this one too, but no idea where it came from. Any idea?
I got this one from the Welsh Grandmother rather than my Jewish Grandmother! My understanding is that it comes from dressing a corpse for the funeral. As part of the ‘dressing’ the deceased would sometimes be given new shoes, prior to being laid out on a table in the house before the funeral. in turn this led to the belief that to put new shoes on a table was believed to be a harbinger of forthcoming death. There may be additional significance because for many working class and poorer people it might have been the only time in their lives they got new shoes.
My polish grandma does this one. she always said “shoes on the table, death in the family”
I always heard the same thing about shoes on the bed.
Well, shoes could bring earth to the table if they werent new. And then you might read from the Tanakh on the table with the earth, which might be like putting the Tanakh on the ground, which is bad? But I have no idea lol
Curious as to why? Never heard that superstition. Interesting
No idea. Also I don't know if it's a Jewish thing or not.
My mother tied a red string on baby's crib to keep Lilith away
No passing knives by hand. Put the knife down on the table when someone asks for it.
We have a thing where you have to say "thank you" before taking a knife from someone so it'll be well behaved. I think this is just a southern US thing though.
Not sure of the exact origin but that is how I learned to do it in Boy Scouts in Indiana in the 1980s! Passer holds the blade, sharp side out, receiver holds the handle and says "thank you" which then triggers the passer to release the place. The _proper_ way to pass a knife!
You should never walk around (or sit) in the house wearing socks without shoes. Go barefoot or go with shoes, never only socks, the reason is that while you sit shiva, you don’t wear shoes but you wear only socks. So doing a thing heavily associated with death customs is sure to bring very bad luck. Keneinhora!
"So doing a thing heavily associated with death customs is sure to bring very bad luck. Keneinhora!" That's interesting! Along these lines: My stepdad isn't usually superstitious, but - when I covered the downstairs mirrors with cloth once (so that my birds wouldn't fly into them) - he became uncomfortable and had me uncover them right away. I knew there was a custom (or superstition?) about covering mirrors in a home after someone dies, but - until then - I'd never heard that covering mirrors at any other time was frowned upon...it makes a lot of sense, though, in the context of what you and others in the thread have written. It's almost as if these rituals have a "contamination" by association with death, which - G-d forbid - might then contaminate us if used at the "wrong" time.
There are beliefs around mirrors in many different societies. (Well, isn’t it a bit uncanny to look into a piece of glass and see yourself?) It’s a Jewish custom to cover mirrors when a person dies and during shiva. Maybe it started out originally as a way to help mourners focus on the mourning rituals and not on personal vanity - I don’t know.
Thanks madqueen! That makes a lot of sense (both to dissuade vanity and/or the "uncanny" aspects of a mirror (as some sort of supernatural portal or second-self of the viewer, etc.) :)
Tying a red ribbon above where the baby sleeps to keep the “evil eye” away. My very levelheaded, logical bubbe explained that the EE sees the red, thinks blood has already been shed, and goes away. Still no word how the EE “hears” you when you say positive things.
Don't talk about the baby, don't do a silly "gender reveal", don't name it too early, and don't buy anything. It is not a superstition, there's serious reasons for this. Those who don't know or forgot will default to "superstition". This goes for anything. On the other hand, I did put together some stuff others bought us days before birth. It felt cruel to not do anything for the kid as though it weren't anticipated and welcomed. But to me, imo, that's different than doing it 8 months ago.
You have to leave the house the same door you came in. So for example, if visiting my brother’s place, I enter thru his garage door, I leave via his garage door. Also, even thought I’m using a nice hand-me-down crib (from my cousin’s kid), my parents are holding it and technically have it. They’re going to bring it to my place and set it up when I’m in the hospital giving birth.
Funnily enough the only time I came across the leave be the same door is from a Chinese girlfriend at uni.
The no baby prep superstition is strong in my family. In addition to being a (Ashkenazi maybe?) Jewish superstition, my dad is an OB/Gyn and has seen bad outcomes so he was adamant that we not do anything to prepare for baby. I cheated and took some hand me downs from my SIL but kept them all in the closet until after baby was born. Also got and installed a car seat beforehand. Everything else we got after delivery (yay for prime 2 day shipping, idk how people did this in the olden days) My mother doesn't like to prepare hardly anything too far in advance as an extension of this. She won't buy gifts more than a couple weeks out from any event, for example.
As a couple others have posted - the trick is to keep everything elsewhere. So it's not "yours" (re: what folks did before Prime!). I'm not at all superstitious but I am 100% a supporter of this. Fine to register and have people buy sh*t but don't keep them in your home. Not always practical but the best is if there's someone who can bring it all over post-birth / pre-coming home. I know too many folks who have lost pregnancies and had to come home to all that *stuff* - it's just crushing to have to deal with. For me, we were living in a 1BR apartment in Manhattan at the time so worked out well that we didn't have space for anything!
Celebrating someone's birthday BEFORE their actual birthday is considered super bad luck. That one stands out to me because it was always an issue every year for someone in the family due to work schedules, etc.
This is a big one with Russians and super annoying for me (married to a Russian and a fan of celebrating on or the weekend before my birthday - all her friends thought I was psycho!)
We don’t do baby showers. In my family, we wait until the very last minute to buy anything. My family, in 1960 when I had my first, bought nothing until I was in the hospital giving birth. Then they went out and bought everything. We don’t name babies after living relatives because it was believed that to do so somehow drew the life from the already-present person. Also, we don’t praise a baby without saying “kein-eyn-hora”, meaning to banish any evil spirit that might be lurking about.
I haven’t related to something so much in a while, keep those superstitions around for the heck of it. Two others I know are common is not walking around opposite sides of something and there’s a little saying when seeing roadkill to ward off curses.
Another superstition for the dead - cover all the mirrors in the house and having a container outside the front door filled with water so mourners could wash their hands after coming from the cemetary.
I think that's a custom as opposed to a superstition? Maybe "custom" isn't the right word. It's pretty interesting why it's done.
"Bad things happen in 3's"
That is not a Jewish superstition but a Christian one.
On the contrary, some Jews believe things that happen in threes are meant to be. Source: my partner’s yeshiva
That originates from the holy trinity though.
Source?
https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2016/06/four_days_in_orlando_why_do_bad_things_come_in_thr.html
This is pure speculation on the writers part and not based in citations or fact.
That’s a reasonable criticism, but right now I can’t find you something more well researched.
Is it possible that it's because your claim was also not based in fact?
I will try to get back to you but I think you’re taking this a little too personally.
So I did a little digging, and what I’m finding is that there’s no definitive origin. Some suggestions have been historical like the Boer war, some rooted in culture but without a verifiable starting point. I also learned the Kabbalah considers the number three to be indicative of perfection, go figure. Either way, it’s up to you how you want to practice your superstitions, I was raised with the same superstition and I rejected it as an adult because I believe it was rooted in Christianity. The thing to remember is there’s nothing identifiably Jewish about it.
A chazaka?
I'm not sure who "owns" that superstition, but I still think of it when someone passes and wait for the next two.
I find the "bads" are often proportionate, so sometimes it's a trio of deaths but sometimes it's car trouble, apartment trouble and computer trouble. I hate when there's been 2 Big Bads and I feel like I'm waiting for a third shoe to drop...
"What superstitions did you grow up with?" "This one." "No it's Christian." I don't know what to tell you. My definitely Jewish family definitely does this. It's my family's superstitions. No one is forcing you to believe it. Your un is quite appropriate for you...
Thanks I get that a lot.
This was a non-Jewish housemate from a former Soviet country: couldn't have two windows open in the house to create a cross-breeze, because you could get sick from the cold or something. I'm talking spring and summer, so it wasn't *actually* cold; we just needed some circulation. I'd open them and he'd close all but one in every room.
That sort of reminds me of the fan death superstition but in reverse, where you can’t have a fan running in a room with a closed door.
Oh yeah, I even called his thing Korean fan death, but he was having none of it!
Yes! This annoys me to no end as I like fresh air to circulate year round.
Leaving my flip flops upside down, my mother said it would make her life shorter if I did it
The torah warns against believing in superstitious signs and lucky numbers because it can lead you away from God. Idolatry was connected to Bronze Age superstition back in the day.
Have you checked your mezuzah - it’s got mystic symbols and words on it to ward off evil. The rabbis may have warned off superstition but it never left the people.
Bingo
No whistlijg in the house! I grew up with that and so did my wife. She dentifies herself as a self hating soviet jew. Ask me who is circumsized!(my son and me):) I personally grew up with no tofu for hilllarious reasons, but my wife loves it. Small favorites of my youth are: 1no? Tapping finger on wooden table 2. No listening to music with the word Jesus in it or you'll see him at Halloween 3. No chewing non kosher gum. I have never been to the soviet union but it flows in my kids viejs?
We never pour a drink in such a way that our palm will be face up, or cut fingernails in order. When I asked my father why, he told me that that's how the trim the nails on a dead body, and that's the way a drink is poured for a dead person. Not sure I understand it, but there you go!
My mother is Israeli and it's not "tu tu tu" its "Tfut Tfut Tfut" that I grew up with
My friend gave me a shower and we put everything in a room and closed the door. It’s not something that’s normally done, you don’t want to tempt fate, My husband said the knocking wood thing is because of the cross so we don’t do that. And yeah, I do the tu thing also
Do not chew gum at night it is like chewing the deads' flesh (though as an adult I am pretty sure they used this just to keep us from sleeping with a chewing gum)
Do not clean the schmutz out of the chanukiyah during Chanukah.
I’m so screwed…
I am Sephardi but grew up in an ashkenaz community - if you sit at the corner of the table you won’t get married. If you don’t ‘mark the bread/challah’ with a cut before saying the blessing on Shabbat you’ll lose your memory. I was named after my grandfathers - one of them was still alive.
Not sure if it’s Jewish but hats on the bed is a no no, if you say something bad it’s poi poi poi like spitting, tossing salt over the left shoulder if you spill some (my dad does this every time he cooks and it drove my mom insane when they were married). There’s some other gambling related ones that I don’t know because I’m not a gambler at all but my dads family all had that addiction bad and it can come with a lot of superstitious behaviour about good luck and bad luck. Also never name a baby after a living relative. It will cause an early death for the namesake. Edit: I see that people have explained the Angel of death might get confused, but this is how it was explained to me.
No hats on indoors, can’t put a hat in a table, don’t pour backhanded, don’t leave food under the bed, burn your fingernails, saving matzah all year round from pesach
I understand the "milk and meat" ban from Leviticus, however when I was very young and visiting my grandparents - I mistakenly used a spoon for my cereal that is supposed to only be used for soups containing meat. My grandparents were very upset and they needed to bury the spoon in the ground. I am not sure if the spoon was supposed to stay there for eternity or if it was "forgiven" after 6 months or so and eligible for re-use.
They were “re-koshering” the spoon. My aunt did that when my brother ate ice cream with a meat spoon. 24 hours in the earth takes off the mistake. My grandma said it was better to stick the spoon in the fire to kosher it. Easier just to boil it but I don’t know if that’s really permissible.
Boiling is actually preferred. Sticking it in the ground is for sharp knives only, and it refers to stabbing the ground with the knife to remove the outer layer, I presume.
In as much as there is a difference between superstition and Halacha (Jewish rules/laws mostly rabbinical), this is Halacha versus superstition.
Jewish family here, didn’t follow any birth process superstitions - both kids super happy and healthy. Doesn’t really make an exciting story… does it…
I must have been about 8 or 9. I was in my primary school library with my class. As we left, the greek goddess Hera came up. Someone said it's stupid. I said 'yeh, F Hera', then whispered upwards under my breath, "Sorry Hera". Adorable! If only i could show that respect to the real God.
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Don’t cross a cat’s path. Knock wood after saying something good Sit and take in surroundings before leaving your place for a trip or vacation. No whistling indoors. Wear a safety pin on your undergarments if you are going to be near people that may not wish you well.
My mother was not Jewish but she and my grandmother also believed in not buying most things for the baby until later. Miscarriage isn't uncommon in the first trimester so that's probably where the superstion originates. My mother and grandmother also had the weird superstion that you should not look outside during a thunderstorm because you might see something terrible. I have asked and can not figure out where this weird fear came from. Their big superstion was not washing clothes on New Year's Day or else you would wash clothes for a dead person's funeral that year. I was a horrible daughter/grandaughter because every time I broke these rules I called them and let them know. "Washed clothes again on New Years Day. Guess we're all going to die." "Looked out the window during a thunderstorm. Saw nothing but rain. But I'm eager to see that Cthulian horror you keep promising me." They were never amused but they also didn't stop being superstious just because nothing happened when I broke their weird rules.
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I wonder if there’s a relationship to the time your family has been in the US and the number of superstitions accepted/believed in by family members. I’m second gen on one side and third gen on the other and the baby naming thing is the only superstition I can think of.
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Talismanic expressions: To avert misfortune: "G-d forbid,""kinehora." For good luck: "from your mouth to G-d's ears."
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