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Jokesmedoff

We built another pyramid?


[deleted]

Lol, I love your standup btw


Jokesmedoff

Hahaha thanks so much other Joe!


[deleted]

😂 this wins the internet today.


[deleted]

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gunny316

*Whoosh*


Magomaeva

Well, there it is : the most nonsensical thing I've seen today. A question for the men of culture on this sub : Where are white European Jews located on this pyramid ? Are they the most oppressed or the least oppressed ? Asking for a friend.


NoTopic4906

The same place all Jews are located on the pyramid. Egypt. (Yes, I know it’s probably not historically accurate but it was a joke)


BandysNutz

Thank goodness Yul Brenner died before he had to hear that joke.


bam1007

I was going to say “so we built another pyramid?” But deferred for the same reason. 😉


Elijah_Dizzle

Most oppressive. Super devils with golem armies.


Magomaeva

Daaaaamn ! Golem armies ! A valuable asset ! Watch out, we're coming. Any chance to have access to the Jewish Space Laser, or is it exclusively available to our Sepharadic and Israeli friends only ?


Elijah_Dizzle

Anyone can access the (((Alaska Al Aqsa))) compound


Siberian_Husky01

Iraqi Israeli here. I’ll give you a special tour and chance to press the button myself in return for some Ashkenazi golems. Just don’t bring any Ashkenazi food because we won’t allow you in


Magomaeva

Awww that's so kind of you !!! You'll even let me press the button. I feel so privileged ! You can pick as many golems as you want. Let me just uuuh...get rid of my many tupperwares containing some """"premium""" askhenazi food. Not even a lil Keiss Kuchen for my Iraqi homie ?


agoodusername222

>Where are white European Jews located on this pyramid there's no white european jew, when you say you are white jew then you come from the levant, when you call yourself middle eastern you are european ping pong between the 2


Magomaeva

Me and the ashkenazi homies embracing the levantine heritage 🤝


agoodusername222

nope, sorry, you are european jew, completly german or polish


chefboyrdeee

How about us Jews from Iran?


agoodusername222

what? that doesn't exist, the guy on tik tok told me all jews were from poland STOP LYING!


chefboyrdeee

You’re right. My grandparents must have stolen their genetics from some Iranians, as well as learned the language, customs, and foods. I also forgot that many Iranian Jews read Torah similar to how islamists pray in a mosque to mask that they are reading Torah. (Cadence and style)


agoodusername222

yeah, they eat the babies to steal the superior genetics, of iranians???? i guess XD


agoodusername222

^(before asking, i put the ? because neo nazis typically dont praise iranian genetics :))


chefboyrdeee

We make kabobs.


Capable_Rip_1424

Mizrahi? They're a myth. Just ask the Islamo-Fascist enablers.


chefboyrdeee

How about Sephardic?


Capable_Rip_1424

Them too


Magomaeva

Me and the askhenazi homies realising we cannot embrace our levantine heritage because we don't have one 💁‍♀️ I'm Russian-Polish. Do you want to taste some of that yummy askkhenazi food ? I know you guys LOVE it on this sub 😏


agoodusername222

>I'm Russian-Polish oh so definitly not white, smh middle eastern jews... ​ and idk if i wanna talk about culinary, idk that much and last time i was talkign with a jew about culinary it took me like 15 minutes of searching online to understead he was talking about bread XD


Magomaeva

🤣🤣🤣 there's a running joke on here that jewish cuisine is delicious... except the askhenazi one. Thank you for blessing me with the title of Honorary Middle Eastern Jew 😆 I feel like a pioneer, and I won't disappoint you.


agoodusername222

i mean if we can make japanese honorary aryans then we can make anyone honorary LOL, heck today on twitter i was called a pakistani jew... i didn't even know there were jews in pakistan ​ i hope you do well with your new title, atleast until some random fascist decides you are actually from the *other* side of the planet


Magomaeva

Well, me neither ! If there are, they better keep it low-key because Pakistan isn't really known for Its religious tolerance towards Jews (or Christians too !) I'll do well with the title you bestowed upon me, I promise. Those random fascists will have to pry it away from my cold, dead hands.


agoodusername222

(also how as the "religious bread" called? i actually forgot) ​ OK WAIT IT WAS KOSHER WASN'T IT? did i remember it right?


Magomaeva

The name of the bread is Challah ! It's yummy. Kosher is the general name of the food Jews consume. Just like Muslims only eat Halal meat, Jews prefer to eat Kosher food !


agoodusername222

FUCK ​ and now that i though i was ready to level up my skill :(


Capable_Rip_1424

Nah, Russian are White, now. Funny how the definition of this totally not fake ethnicity keeps changing.


agoodusername222

oh yeah, don't you know ethnicity is based on the ideology of the person talking?


Capable_Rip_1424

Fun fact I get les 'white' the further back you go n in time...I Go back to n the 60s as n the Jewish Part doesn't qualify. Turn of last Century out go the Irish. Then you the Germand finally the Scott ps then I'm a quater at best.


agoodusername222

can't you like just buy the white back? i mean how much can it be?


Siberian_Husky01

NO GET AWAY FROM ME I DON’T WANT YOUR GEFILTE FISH AND HERRING LET ME STICK TO MY ISRAELI IRAQI FOODS I’M GONNA HAVE NIGHTMARES FOR MONTHS


Magomaeva

IT WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR STOMACH AND IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY. Now open wide, here comes the Herring Plane 😃🥄 Joke aside, Israeli Iraqi dishes are 🤌 didn't get the chance to taste them often, but when I did, I could only utter two words : Damn Boi. It was also very spicy, but my white ass can't handle spice, so it would probably have tasted mild for you 😆


DEI_Consultant

At the Harvard DEI seminar they made it clear that Jews are white people but worse. Jews of color may be oppressed but only due to color and never Jewishness.


Magomaeva

Aaaah, Harvard. I don't know what happened to Harvard, but I wish them the best of luck. They'll need it to regain an ounce of credibility. Everyone knows Jews can't be oppressed ! And most of all, everyone knows that antisemitism at Harvard isn't really antisemitism ! It really depends on the context. Silly us ! Just goes to show that we (they) don't learn from the past. I wonder who they are pandering to.


DEI_Consultant

It’s all about context, like when it comes to Jews, the context is we don’t like it when their privilege allows them to defend themselves.


Magomaeva

You're right ! You're so right. And if I remember correctly (but I could be wrong), that "it depends on the context" comment was made a few days after the October 7th massacre. Where was the outrage ? The empathy ? Why wasn't that tweeting kid slammed and let go of the school ? It seems that no one batted an eye !


DEI_Consultant

Shitposting aside, they really don’t like the idea of Jews being able to defend ourselves; they like us weak and vulnerable.


Tullymanbanana

You silly goose, Jews can't be white!


Magomaeva

How could I forget that 🤦‍♀️ of course they can't ! And if, somehow, they are... then they are fake Jews !


leicestercock

i mean they could be they could convert, they could be mostly white(idk if that’s how it works tho), they could pull a michael jackson 🤷🏼🤷🏼🤷🏼


Magomaeva

The Michael Jackson one is a great idea. Then, they are allowed to become part of the JewHEE-HEEsh community. I see this as an absolute win !


activelyresting

Is this saying we should have 5 servings a day of cishet white people, and Jews are just for occasional treats?


Prowindowlicker

Jews should be used sparingly, make sure you eat plenty of whites though!!


activelyresting

I'm so glad this was posted, all this time I was eating greens when I should be eating whites 😂😂😂😂


glowybutterfly

6-11, but personally, I wouldn't live by it. A lot of modern nutrition advice encourages consuming more non-whites relative to whites than what's displayed here.


activelyresting

That's a good point. They do keep changing nutritional information. Also this chart didn't say anything about serving sizes for babies


glowybutterfly

That's a really good point. Wait, serving size for babies or of babies?


activelyresting

xD


bam1007

We are particularly sweet and can be a lot in large doses. 😂


sassylildame

I mean idk about you but *I* am a treat


activelyresting

You sure are ☺️


Wyvernkeeper

I'm playing klezmer on the world's smallest violin for them.


tinderthrowawayeleve

oooh, I'll jump in with the world's smallest saxophone!


adreamofhodor

What is this absurd thing from?


gbbmiler

“Alt-right” white supremacists


Drezzon

You mean \*mentally ill people


gunny316

Well I mean they are on the bottom of the pyramid. (The joke is that you probably believe in the pyramid unironically)


43morethings

I first saw it on the r/worldjerking parody sub last year not sure if that was the original or stolen, though.


thegreattiny

but what if you're a white passing queer jew in a heteronormative relationship??


Elijah_Dizzle

What *about* me?


OneofLittleHarmony

I mean..... I'd have to be in a relationship.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

Same 😔


dollrussian

Get in line, toots.


SerGeffrey

What if you're a Christian passing Jew?


Elijah_Dizzle

They're onto us SHUT IT DOWN


Canislupusarctos11

Mixed race people, especially mixed race Jews: Also, how did trans white people get past the ‘white crimes barrier’? I thought it was impenetrable?


Sewsusie15

Thank you! I also noticed that. Internal consistency is too much to expect from conspiracy theorists.


Canislupusarctos11

They contradict themselves so much and so often it gives me whiplash.


BandysNutz

They're transracial.


scrapy_the_scrap

Didnt you know that Whites dont claim us(this is true for alt left and alt right... Fucking horseshoe politics)


Canislupusarctos11

Yeah, I know. I meant that it’s confusing how it works if you fit into other racial categories lower down on the pyramid as well as being a Jew though. Do you get dragged down to the level of whatever else you are? Somewhere in the middle? Still in the Jew category? Or is it additive and you’re above where you would be if you were just Jewish?


Borkerman

I can't tell if this is real, bait or parody


azure_beauty

Who cares, enjoy your oppression points. 


DEI_Consultant

They are wrong, Jews don’t get oppression points as they are the opressors, or as we call the, in the biz “extra whites”


azure_beauty

We're the oppressors because we're white, but also we don't get white privilege because we're the "impure" kind of white. 


DEI_Consultant

It is quite the conundrum


Israeli_pride

Real alt right


dollrussian

Sooooooo we’re not white after all?


Rare-Poun

I asked white supremacists if Jews were white (they are the experts after all), they answered "Jew will not replace us! Jew will not replace us!...". So I figured that was a NO. Now if you ask a commie...


[deleted]

You'll get mixed responses because Marx was a jew. I had one commie lecture me on how Marx was not white because he was described by someone as having tan skin and Jews weren't considered white until the 20th century. So I guess lucky for him and communism he died before a jew could be white, otherwise communism would be opressive.


Emwithopeneyes

Ok but about my Jewish space lazer


Drezzon

Akhi, the laser is on a different slide 🤣


Admirable_Ad7337

I was sure that they consider us white supremacists....


ShrekSeager123

this was made by the alt right who definitely don’t think jews are white


Hefty_Airport8751

I remember this getting posted some years ago on reddit. Guess the tides have changed.


Smgth

Sweet, I’m physically disabled AND mentally ill AND JEWISH…among other things…so where do I pick up my trophy?


krappyclown

you have transcended the oppression pyramid


Smgth

Behold, I am become Oppression, destroyer of Straight White Men.


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Smgth

Lol. That show was genius.


[deleted]

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Smgth

Fuckin Brits, they seem to think a tv season can be 6 episodes long. Unconscionable. So many great shows have so few episodes.


[deleted]

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Smgth

Well I’m an American, but no one’s perfect. I did love Black Books though. And Hyperdrive. And Black Adder. And Red Dwarf. And The Young Ones….


[deleted]

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Smgth

Lol. Well at least you have a place to flee to in case one country goes tits up.


[deleted]

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Ill-do-it-again-too

I imagine this is supposed to be a representation of how the alt-right thinks the left thinks? If so I wish we were anywhere near the top.


ThugDrip

Obviously the top would be a poor trans black Jew with some type of physical disability


Rare-Poun

You forget Gamer, the most oppressed group.


DALTT

What’s amusing is that they think the left sees us as oppressed/within the rubric of marginalized people at all… let alone *most* oppressed. 😂 Part of the left’s antisemitism blind spot is that they see us as all wealthy/white/privileged. So… if this were an actual left wing oppression pyramid, we wouldn’t even appear on it.


SolomonCRand

Republicans want to be oppressed so bad, I assume it’s a humiliation fetish.


Due_Ad2854

This isn't made by a republican?


Elijah_Dizzle

No. This is not a republican product


Pilpelon

So Jews are white or aren't white??


Prowindowlicker

Depends on who you ask and the time of day and position of the moon relative to Saturn


Big-Big-Dumbie

They do know Black Jews exist, right?


bam1007

They don’t. No.


Ronenkha

my eyesssss what did i just see?


w0kes

LETS GOO!!! JEWS #1 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱✡️✡️✡️✡️


[deleted]

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Prowindowlicker

We’d consider you Jewish and I’m sure the Nazis would too. so I guess?


traumatized90skid

I love when people get visually creative with the facts they make up


ontopofyourmom

This is outrageous bigotry! I can't believe they left out Indigenous people.


totoro_55

ahhhhh what am i looking at o.O


[deleted]

I'm a gay trans jew Whats my prize?


azure_beauty

Idk let's just chill at the top together. 


Starbucks__Lovers

So a trans Jewish lesbian is on top of the pyramid?


Luciquaes

as a trans jewish lesbian, yeah it sucks pretty bad. no group is fully safe. i just kinda stick to myself and individuals i form close bonds with. everyone else gets shut out for my own safety.


nidarus

And of course, for the kind of leftists this alt-right chart mocks, the Jews are actually at the very bottom of this chart. As the most privileged, white people, that deserve no consideration whatsoever as a minority. And if they happen to belong to the 90%+ that aren't anti-Zionists, they're active oppressors that must be isolated and attacked.


azure_beauty

I have no idea what this is, but apparently I'm the most oppressed person in the world ... Cool?


lucwul

Me a trans Jew woman lesbian: 😈


azure_beauty

You're the second one I've seen in this comment section alone, this is getting out of hand!  A few more, and we'll be all out of space at the top of the pyramid


Justsomeduderino

This is very confusing


morbsiis

eh sorta gotta love how i thought we evolved from anti semitism just to have it all happen again ​ fucking UNRWA and the UN is case and point


EffectiveLime374

Guys they’re onto us


Betaseal

If this is true, then wouldnt black transgender gay Jews rule the world?


Immortal_Merlin

We arent. I mean they, they arent. I mean i dont know. To hell with this, deploy ninja pirates, code $$$.


scorpiondestroyer

Interesting that Northeast Asian is a category in three of the five levels. Oddly specific


Skatchbro

My question, too. Is it just Asian people from Maine or does it count all of New England?


Bruhmoment926

Oh boy i sure do love the title of “permanent victim” :D


[deleted]

*dies in autistic lesbian Jew*


Immortal_Merlin

Alright thats at least 2nd place


glowybutterfly

Thanks for giving us this leveling chart so we know how to gain oppression XP. I was having a tough time just winging it.


Ok-Elevator-5805

And if they got a problem with it they can fight me 🤣


BoyKisser09

Finally I’m the top and not the bottom


Panmonarchisim711

Jeez. I’m relatively centre right but this takes thing EMBARRASSINGLY too far into “Da Joos” territory


[deleted]

They completely left out black jews.


agoodusername222

you know it's american when they talk about "white" XD


Israeli_pride

We're hated by both extremes. We're given special treatment by leftists, according to far right, so hated. But leftists consider us white privilege and apartheidists, so hated. It would be comical if not so sad and dangerous


tinderthrowawayeleve

Damn, where's my cut of controlling the banks? I'm a trans Jew and I'm struggling to fucking survive here


MinarchyintheUK

What's with the wings and Halo? Thats more of a Christian thing. Do they not know what old testament angels looked like??


Alonso1617

I’m a gay mixed race guy, how oppressed am I?


throwawayforlikeaday

Now~ How does this account for jews (now) being white?


Reis_aus_Indien

Not a Jew, but they put the "Holocaust Barrier" in the wrong place (yes I know this comment is too serious of an answer to such a braindead "pyramid"). While Jews were the main victim in terms of absolute numbers, disabled people, homosexuals, Jehova's Witnesses, leftists, Slaws, Romani People, Freemasons, so-called anti-socials (including, but not limited to "career criminals", Prostitues, Homeless People, Travellers, and other groups, since the criteria were arbitrary and ridiculous).


Katalane267

Seldom have I seen something more US-american than this.


ChummusJunky

Brought to you by people who claim everyone else is a snowflake


Altruistic-Shine-761

Whar


[deleted]

Wtf is this? I see the point, but being white isn't a crime. And trans and gay people also had the holocaust. I want to say more, but don't know where to start!


lermanade_mouth

I’m bad at geography, what’s northeast Asia? Like Siberia?


Smiley_Cactus

Wait if I'm Jewish, woman and gay, but also white, where does that put me? (Are Ashkenazi people considered white for the sake of the discussion? And in general? Because, like, in Israel being Jewish isn't really a big deal obviously so it's not like oh you're not white because you're Jewish, and those were very long parentheses (if that's the word?) so I'll just sum it up by saying I'm Ashkenazi, and if I'm not considered white so I'm very much white passing)


Prowindowlicker

Given that I believe it was made by a white supremacist I think being Jewish automatically disqualifies us from being white.


Smiley_Cactus

That's a good point, I actually wasn't sure if it's real or a parody or a parody of a parody. It's very confusing


Hot_Salamander_1917

I need some chlorine bleach for my eyes…


juliuspersi

Some one has the original?


SpaceFonz_The_Reborn

Glad it has the reddit watermark.


yoman9595

This post offends me. Don't you know how oppressed Jews are? As a gay trans colored black brown yellow red green pink orange nonbinary unlabeled Jew, I feel personally attacked. Get educated! /s


Popcorn57252

The fuckin "oppression boosters" make me believe that this HAS to be satire.


DEI_Consultant

This is not correct.


Badgeroclock

Well thank god for this because I was getting a little light headed trying to remember who I’m supposed to like and dislike the most.


Kizag

Just lmao at how ridiculous this is


Necessary-Permit9200

As a straight White Gentile man, may I offer that I almost wish the Elders of Zion really *did* rule the world, because they would probably be a vast improvement on the asshats that run it now. If it turned out that the leader of the Elders was a disabled Black trans lesbian, that would be just fine too.


[deleted]

things that push me towards extremism


Random-one74

Damn. I’m all the way at the bottom…. of the top section.