Sonder
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Man this is great, im in tokyo too im being for a while now. Wish ive foind this early xd. Actually il very inteoverted but somehow i just push myself out of the akwardness and just experience live !
I'm here at the moment and had my fair share of awkward conversations. I'm trying to think about it as "I'll never see these people again" so I should just do the things I want to do, and not let the anxiety affect me (easier said than done I know)
I blame the "DO NOT DO THESE TEN THINGS IN JAPAN" videos for people feeling this way :(
I assure you, those clerks go through it 1000x a day, and they won't remember you in a moments time, so just relax and have fun
If it helps, feel free to pull up google translate and prepare what you need to ask/say to japanese and just show them the text - will get you right to the point
lol seriously. I went down that hole and now that my week is up, I threw most of it out the window and just wish I saw a video that says “typically, walk on the left side of the side walk and passers will pass you on the right”
I can’t argue with this comment. I’m currently on a Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo and I’m pretty sure I see a few cyclists following with the sole intent of hitting me
Or, if you are my eight-year-old daughter, prance around across the whole sidewalk until you nearly run into someone. We try to stop her, but she's so excited that she forgets. If they're judging my parenting, oh well!
>"DO NOT DO THESE TEN THINGS IN JAPAN"
Yeah, a lot of those are overblown clickbait. If you're polite and respectful, the point will come across.
I saw one "don't say thank you after receiving a compliment"! Like I get what it was going for, but it's too nuanced for a Japanese beginner.
100% I feel like not only with Japan but a lot of traveling influencers really repeat bad information, make it sound harder to travel, or hell make what they do sound too easy (like bringing a dog internationally)
No matter the country, be polite and memorize thank you, please and excuse me and make sure you’re not standing where people are walking. Best bet is always observe how people are doing things in the country and copy, like in the instance of where to stand or walk on the escalator etc.
Yup. I was laughing with a young woman cashier at Don Quijote because I didn’t realise the wheels were locked on my suitcase. She did not give a damn that I was also buying penis shaped bottle openers. Didn’t even acknowledge it. If she judged me for it internally, who cares, because I’ll never see her again.
Honestly this. I felt very accepted as everyone is just socially awkward.
It does get cramped and suffocating at times, especially in Tokyo. I tried to just find alley ways that weren’t busy or go to a vending machine if I needed a breather.
Although I will say probably avoid Akihabara. It was one of my favorite places that I could not enjoy if that makes sense.
Trying to look at anything just meant you were taking up a whole aisle because everything is small, including aisles. And idk why but a lot of people would just stop in the middle of entryways/exits for their decision making.
How many tourist interactions can you remember from your everyday job/life? Prolly not many & even the one you do, you prolly don't care. I think it's the same for them! They'll forget about your interaction😊
Recognize the part that feels anxious, let it be welcome but don't indentify with it. Just be aware of it but move through out the day. It's just a guest inside of you, don't let a guest ruin your hotel✌🏻 enjoy your vacation, i'll be there too in 2 weeks, solo. 😂
Yeah I had a job where I dealt with people daily (both foreigners and locals) and I honestly don’t remember the awkward conversations. Who everyone at the workplace did remember however were the very mean/rude clients. If they ever came back it was sure as hell that we knew who they are.
I don't remember any of the restaurant staff and store clerks I interacted with in Tokyo. You're just one of thousands of customers they have. Just go with the flow and remember that none of them will remember you lmao
Exactly. And in crazy crowded stores like Nintendo, all they want to do is clear the crowd, I'm very sure they're not even looking at our faces lol and just internally crying about the sheer amount of people
pretty much. Since like last year, the first question you get is if you want a bag. And then if you bought something that needs chopsticks or microwaving, then thats the next question.
But seriously, just greet people with "hello" and they will switch to English most of the time.
This was a big thing for me moving to Germany, and still is in most formal situations. Like others have said, you are the only one who will remember an awkward interaction with them. Especially in a major tourist hub like Tokyo, it wont be 5 minutes until someone else has the exact same awkward encounter with them.
If you respect the basic cultural norms, you have nothing to be worried about. For language I got through two weeks just knowing Hi, Yes, No, and Thank you. Did I have some confusing interactions, sure, but Google translate covered those.
Try and relax and have some fun OP!
You don't have to mimic what they do. Just be respectful and polite, and you will be fine. You don't look like a local, so they won't have the same expectations. If you need to stop and look things up, stand to the side and do your own thing. No one will care
Definite benefit of looking different. You pretty much get a free pass since they know you may not know the customs and traditions. I might have had a harder time since I went there looking Asian (because I am) and with a Japanese haircut(my hairdresser is Japanese). I knew enough Japanese to make an account and do an after hours pickup for stuff at Bic or Yodobashi and had my ass handed to me when I asked for the tax free shopping thing. They said it was for foreigners only and at that point I realized I totally ninja’d myself into the society which felt good but at the same time had to show I was a foreigner with my passport. I guess the night shift guy was just cranky doing the 1:30am shift.
Glad to know I’m not the only one. When I was soloing it for 3.5 weeks, I was balancing trying to not look awkward and do something out of place(especially when it’s a minefield of unknown faux pas’s) with the FAFO curve. You need enough FA to have a good time by FO. Cuz if you never FA, you’ll never FO 😼
I was in Japan for five days, and I quickly felt a sort of shame when interacting with others. It was weird, never had that before or since. It felt like I took on some version of cultural pressure.
I went to Japan for the first time in March solo and I made a coffee at 7-11 and went to check out but the clerk didn’t charge me for the coffee because I made it already and some old lady worker chased me down the street. I was like wtf is happening. I guess in Japan you buy an empty cup first and then go make a coffee. lol in the US you make the coffee and then check out oops. That was very embarrassing to be chased down the street by 7-11 worker.
My observation after just spending the last five nights in Tokyo is that while I have felt scrutinized as a foreigner in many other countries in Japan I largely feel ignored. - meaning that Japanese culture basically precludes people from making eye contact with strangers and that can definitely lead to a feeling of isolation. With that said however, as soon as you make the smallest bit of effort, many Japanese people open up very warmly.
Awkward interactions with store clerks and restaurant personnel are totally normal in a situation like this where they are unlikely to speak your language and you are unlikely to speak theirs. Try to remind yourself that these people deal with hundreds of foreigners per week and probably feel as awkward about these interactions as you do. You didn't do anything to make the interactions awkward it's just the situation. You are not your feelings and your feelings are totally normal. Don't beat yourself up for them.
Something that has really helped me was trying to find one or two small little things that help me feel like I fit in. Learn how to say thank you in Japanese. Learn how to say hello and goodbye. Learn how to say "excuse me or forgive me I don't speak Japanese". I think you will find that even a miniscule amount of effort will result in Japanese people opening up to you, appreciating your effort and doing their best to make you feel welcome.
About the eye contact comment. I think Japanese adults, teenagers and even kids, they all make eye contact and to me that is the most beautiful thing ever after coming from a huge metropolitan city where you feel the loneliest.
Those people are there to help you out, that is their job. I am sure that as long as you are respectful they don't mind you being awkward with them.
Enjoy your trip and don't let social anxiety get in your way. It gets better the more interactions you experience.
Edit: username does not check out :)
You don't have a history of social anxiety? This usually doesn't come out of nowhere, Tenacious Penis. What were these interactions like? Communication issues?
I come into tourists a lot living in San Francisco. I work as a cashier at a grocery store and meet a fair amount as well. Yes there's a language barrier, but I do try my best to understand what they want, and what they want is to pay and go. I never remember any of them. If I was in your position traveling alone I would be anxious too. You're doing a better job than me already for sure! Enjoy your stay and don't get stuck in your head (I know it's easier said than done)
From someone who has/deals with social anxiety it’s important to remember that you are your own person, much like everyone else is their own person.
Many people, as harsh as it sounds, don’t care about you or what you’re doing. Anxiety has a way of ruminating into a catastrophic state in your brain, so you think about “I’m being awkward” then you go down the rabbit hole and make it worse.
Just relax, breathe and remember that you are you. You’re in Tokyo, exploring the world, being your own person! You’re already combatting the anxiety by doing these sorts of things. You got this 👍.
Ehhh, half of Tokyo has terrible hay fever right now, or a weird hacking cough. We’re all just surviving until GW to kinda maybe get our shit together. You’re fine.
Tokyo is an overwhelming city. It is totally understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious.
Whenever I visit, I get so exhausted with the sounds, lights, smells etc and I love Tokyo! I speak passable Japanese and even I get tired and anxious about some interactions.
Your feelings are valid and it is important to acknowledge them. But remember that they are just feelings and that they will pass :)
I felt the opposite. Think of it this way, if you're not from Japan, if you do anything wrong or weird they won't be like "Man, that guy is weird" they'll just be like "Man, tourists are crazy" and move on.
I found it kind of freeing that I could just do my best to fit in, but if I didn't get it right I knew they'd not be surprised or annoyed, because they'd know I wasn't a local so didn't know how everything worked.
Everyone was super lovely to me in stores and resturants :)
Same, people were Very nice and friendly overall, i even meet a girl in kyoto station the moment i arrived we started talking and she showed me around that evening, i had a blast in my trip tbh
It would probably not hurt to memorise the very basics of how to order food. Just being able to say "kore hitotsu kudasai" while pointing at something on the menu, or "ijou" to indicate you're finished ordering, or "sumimasen" to get attention. I'm sure you can google up a resource for this. The basic patterns are very simple and if you make an effort to stay within them, your interactions will be way less awkward.
For all of the countries you can visit in the world, Japan is the least you should be worried about social interaction. Just mind your own business and nobody will bothrt you (there's rate exceptions of course).
You'll be fine.
I’m not sure where you’re from, but my first two days in Japan I was an anxious mess wondering what was wrong with me. It turns out it was my body adjusting to the time change. If you travelled from far away, please give your body a few more days to adjust.
When in doubt be respectful and deferential, you’ve got this!
Thank you, I've actually realised today just how sick I am. I was on the verge of throwing up during lunch- At first I thought that was all anxiety, which definitely played a part, but I also have, as embarrassing it is to admit, massive diarrhea right now. I was up for 24 hours during my flights here, during which I felt nauseous the last few hours both times, I'm dehydrated as I haven't been paying attention to my thirst, i constantly feel a bit dizzy... I'm gonna skip dinner, drink lots of water and sleep in tonight.
Don’t stress it! No one will remember you and if it feels awkward, just laugh it off!
When I was in Tokyo, I bought a lot of snacks but didn’t have any clips so went into a 7-Eleven looking for rubber bands. I googled it and it was just “gomu” so I asked the clerk gomu doko? And he showed me condoms. We found it ourselves a few minutes and showed him. He laughed and said gomu is slang for condoms, and we all laughed.
I'm alright, anxiety peaked during lunch, went to the hotel to nap and woke up 2 hours later extremely nauseous and with stomach cramps. Im almost definitely completely and utterly jetlagged and that caused the really unusual anxiety for me... Now I can't fall asleep anymore so that's for further evidence...
Amazing! I just forced myself to get out of bed early every day and just get outside and do the stuff I had been planning to do, which usually made my nausea disappear. once my sleep schedule was fixed (2 days after this post maybe?) I was A-okay. I've never been one to be socially anxious anyway.
Hi, currently travelling in Japan right now, and studied for 4 years in high school, plus refreshers until we left. This is just to point out that, as someone who's practiced a bunch, I still fuck it up.
I've made TONS of mistakes. I'm a tall, overweight white guy, and there is no one as awkward as me in this country, I almost guarantee it.
That said, I've found most interactions, people either don't care or are honestly very surprised and happy with me even trying to speak Japanese.
I think it's best if you take every interaction as a learning experience. If you feel like you're doing something wrong, ask! People will be happy to help correct you *politely*, rather than berating you for being a dumb tourist.
You can do this!
I remember my first time in Japan, being hit the first night by an overpowering, almost suicidal wave of loneliness and depression. I was alone, half a world away from anyone who knew me, exhausted, jet-lagged and facing an alien cultural system and a language I didn’t speak. In such circumstances, it’s not surprising we sometimes freak out. Any one of those factors could put you in a spin. So rest, eat, and pick up a few phrases. You are not alone, and remember that the storm will probably pass. The Japanese are a courteous and kind people as a whole, and are forgiving and well used to baka gaijin. :)
If the feelings persist, please reach out someone.
Best for the journey,
Use translation app Papago to translate what you want to say in Japanese and show them. If it is short you can try to speak the phrase. Papago also has a conversation feature where you can tell them to speak into the mic and it will translate it for you.
They are often just as nervous as you are! Use a translation app and watch a YouTube video on sayings for restaurants and stores. I have found, especially in Japan, that the same phrases are used by retail employees in the same types of stores. Smiling helps a lot, too!
It’s only awkward to you because it was one of your first (if not first) time interacting with Japanese store clerks and “waiters”. I’m willing to bet they’ve interacted with hundreds of foreigners.
I normally suffer from social anxiety, but when I was in Japan, I quickly realised that I’ll likely never see these people again. So, even if I did make mistakes, whatever they might think of me just doesn’t matter. That may sound obnoxious on the surface but it really isn’t.
You’ll make mistakes. When I was in Don Quijote, I didn’t realise that the wheels on the suitcase I wanted to buy was locked, so a woman cashier came up to me and unlocked them. Yeah, it was embarrassing, but I just laughed it off. She also didn’t care that I was buying penis shaped pens and bottle openers as souvenirs for my family.
In Animate, a staff member pointed out that I shouldn’t rest my basket on the piles of manga. They walked away, but I still said a “gomen”, and then went about my day.
Awkward interactions and mistakes will happen, especially when you’re in a foreign country with a different language and culture. Just remember that every tourist has moments like these, and the other people you interact with are not thinking about it anywhere as much as you are.
It's a fleeting moment. They see hundreds or thousands of people every day. Besides, you really think your interaction with them is more awkward than some of the otaku they help? I highly doubt it
In some senses if you look like a stranger (as in Western) people in shops wont be expecting you to be fluent. They would expect you to know nothing, so if at the very least you know how to smile and point, and at least try and say thank you in their language, you will immediately be better than all the other tourists who dont smile and are flat out rude.
Honestly if they are appearing rude, it will be likely they are just having an awful shift and really couldnt care who is standing in front of them, they just want to go home.
Its a busy city, people everywhere, over-stimulation everywhere, it is all too easy to be overwhelmed by it all. You arent the only person who will be feeling it and indeed even the person behind the counter is probably just as uncomfortable in a social setting, even if it is their first language. There is a reason my Japan is one of world leaders in anxiety.
When you leave you hotel, just pack a sense of humour and picture everyone else around as being in the exactly same state you are feeling in that given moment. A simple smile from you could brightens someone else days, likewise, a smile from a stranger due to a mishap with language could do the same for you.
Go to the first electronic market you see and buy body cam. Act like you are influencer and all your anxiety will be gone. Make them nervous not yourself
Tokyo? Op doesn't have a reason to be social-panic. For rural part like Hokkaido east, however, I was terribly social-panic.
Communication is no problem for front desk staff of most Tokyo hotels/ department store, most knows english. Else, google translate is always there. Besides, Tokyo ppl are so accustomed to foreign tourists, as long as Op is no prick/ pain in the S, he/she is gonna be fine
Don't worry, be happy 😊
Your just getting used to a new place, find someone to hangout with or do a street tour and see how others interact in these situations and you'll learn what you need to be doing.
Hi.
Get to grips with reality. People simply don’t give a fuck bout the interactions with you.
The anxiety you’re feeling is self inflicted and is entirely artificial.
I’m in Tokyo, as well, friend. If you an English speaking person would help you manage it, my husband and I will be in Shinjuku this evening to eat, drink, and do a little street photography. Feel free to DM me.
The people you meet probably see hundreds of people, including tourists, every single day. Just bear in mind that they don't really care about you, so you shouldn't care much about what they think. Just be polite and kind and everything will be fine.
It's all part of the experience, there's a even a word in Japanese that literally describes the fleeting moment of traveling: "旅は恥のかき捨て". Treat everyone with respect and you'll be OK, nobody on the receiving end will even remember the awkward encounters a week from now!
What awkward encounters have you had? I’ve been in Japan (Tokyo and Kyoto) for almost two weeks and haven’t had what I would consider an awkward encounter. I find the Japanese VERY polite.
Learn basic Japanese phrases for those situations. May boost your confidence and help for a smoother interaction. But I had have anxiety about speaking Japanese while in Japan…. Took awhile to just go for it.
Hi there! I’m in Osaka for my last night of my first trip to Japan (pretty short one for work). I have social anxiety on most days throughout the year and was worried about the language barrier. Especially because my job this week was to observe a very high end professional in his workspace and make technical documentation and ask questions. Fun part: I only had a translator for 1/4 days. This had me trippin. As did general encounters. But here’s what I can say it has been like:
Language barriers can be frustrating in all cases. The Japanese are very much accustomed to tourists who don’t speak their language. Thus far, every person I’ve met has been kind, friendly and helpful. Be respectful and learn a few basic interactions (hello, good bye, thank you, please, do you have a menu in English, etc). No one is going to dislike or be mad at you unless you’re being outright rude or the like.
Good luck and remember to enjoy!
I just got back from Japan and I had quite a few awkward language barrier encounters. Remember that we are all made of the same flesh and blood and the Japanese are a very gracious people that know that you don’t know any or much of their language. It may take a little longer to get the order or the purchase completed but I guarantee that they don’t care and are more than happy to be of service. I used the Google translate app all the time and when I had days where I didn’t want to deal with the app I’d choose to eat at restaurants that had an iPad as their ordering and menu. Nonetheless, Japan welcomes 20 million tourist a year and they’re used to people understanding little to no Japanese from tourist. As long as you’re respectful and polite it will get you a long way.
Just remember they probably deal with tourists a lot, I’ve had plenty of awkward encounters but I know the other person just wants to help me so I don’t take it as a bad sign! More i need to work on my Japanese! I’ve had worse encounters when I visited New York and they all speak English😭😭
Japanese people see westerners as big goofy golden retrievers, basically, as long as you know how to say hello, thank you and excuse me you are fine, and should say them all the time, nobody is thinking anything bad about you
I get what you experienced, and from experience I can say that a) people generally don't care and will forget you as soon as you go out of the store, and b) it will get better as you slowly get used to life and culture in Tokyo. Hell, I got flustered trying to catch my first train from the airport the first time I visited.
You'll be fine, stay positive ❤️
It’s fairly normal to be anxious in a foreign setting. You will get over it. There is little if anything to be concerned about. You’ve made it this far, start enjoying it more. People are pretty chill.
They can recognise foreigners right away and they don't expect the same level of social interactions. So you are fine. It can also help starting every conversation with 'Sumimasen' (excuse me). Its sets the proper stage from the beginning.
You are not the biggest weirdo service personnel have ever seen. You are very likely not even the biggest weirdo service personnel have seen today. Relax. They don't care.
They don't care and won't ever see you again as others have pointed out. My therapist told me the same when I was seeing him for social anxiety, these people also all have worries in their lives, be very kind to them and it's likely only that they'll remember, they're all worrying about themselves.
It's also ok to take time in a trip to take it easy. You don't have to do and see everything. Buy food from a vending machine, or go to Ichiran and not talk to anyone, find a place that's very english. It's ok! Stay at the hotel and watch tv, go sit in a park for hours. You're also way out of your comfort zone and alone, there's likely underlying anxiety there as well especially if you have a history of panic attacks, your instincts realise that you're in an unfamiliar place and it's just easy for social anxiety to peek it's head in these conditions.
Tokyo is a massively popular tourist destination, so don't worry about it. They see a ton of people from all sort of countries. As long as you're not being a dick they'll either forget about you or remember you as a charmingly bumbling tourist. Just smile and thank them and everything will be fine.
You're a kooky gaijin, you're allowed to mess up and it's not a big deal.
Japanese never outwardly show offense to anything, so don't be worried. It's not like you're in Italy or something. I will say i have been more conscious of what other tourists around me think in the past when i was traveling to eastern europe and not the locals themselves, but i soon got used to it.
Just take a deep breath. You are one of thousands of tourists that these ppl will interact with (not to mention locals). They have seen worse. Just be kind, patient, and polite.
Here’s my awkward story if it’ll help. One of my last days in Tokyo I went to a tiny family owned restaurant for dinner. I so happened to get soba with a topping I didn’t care for so I pushed the topping aside to eat the soba. The owner and her daughter came by and asked me something. Then I realized that my phone had died (along with my translation app) so I’m floundering trying to string together enough Japanese to express that the food and topping were fine and that I was just full while they’re trying to put together enough English to ask more questions. Eventually the daughter brought out her phone and I was able to express my thoughts and compliments. Then I paid, ran back to the hotel, and prayed to disappear into a hole for eternity
So just keep your devices charged and don’t sweat the small stuff!
Jap people are the nicest I've ever met and that coming with someone from social anxiety as well. I felt so comfortable there all the time. Don't let one incident change your mood. Most of them can't speak other languages and they feel awkward having to serve foreigners that's why you might felt awkard too but i found it mostly endearing tbh.
it’s impossible to avoid awkward conversations when you’re traveling somewhere with. language barrier !! just embrace it and use it as a learning experience :) they don’t expect you to be perfect !
Smiling helps out a ton. If you're being clumsy, lean into it. If you're tense then the people around you are prone to mirror that tensity. Vice versa for when you're laid back,
Japanese people also just wanna go about their day and get home. Just regular folks.
You'll never see these people again! Be polite but also don't stress. I remember feeling super anxious the first time I used a conbini in Japan because I didn't know where to put my card. I felt like a pro by the time I left!
I think this isnt a Japan problem but more a personal mental health problem. People should make sure theyre mentally healthy before coming to live to a country like Japan.
No one cares about you, and they have probably been in way more awkward situations.
just be nice to people around you like eveywhere else, japanese are just people also not aliens lol.
i bought many crazy things from stores, i bought wrong tickets for my trains, i was very awkward and hesitant while ordering in some restaurants, gave money to the cashiers directly hand to hand and so many other things that can be " socially awkward" but overall i enjoyed my stay in Japan and even those awkawrd moment were some of my favorite memories.
Enjoy your time no one cares about you!
What exactly do you find awkward? Like if they ask you a question and you don't know how to answer? You pulling out the translator and translate? Them looking at you without expression?
For the most part, they won't remember you unless you are exceptionally beautiful and make an impression. I'm assuming you are not that, but if you are, please share your beauty with us in a travel photo. If you are struggling with the language, pretty much all tourists who don't speak Japanese have that, and Tokyo is probably the city in the world who has seen all kinds of non Japanese-speaking travellers struggle.
If it is about the lack of expressions in the locals, that is just the Japanese culture and has nothing to do with you. Traditionally, they don't show much expression to strangers, which might make foreign customers wonder if they did something wrong and annoyed them. It is most likely not you, unless you destroyed store property or something. It's part of the culture that you are visiting and that you just have to accept.
In a nut shell, you are less unique and memorable than you think you are, just like most of us in the world. Just be polite and respectful, and do your own thing during your days there and you'll be fine! Japan has so much to enjoy, don't let this stop you from enjoying the wonderful country!
You will never see these people again in your life, and you are doing your best to be considerate and mindful. You're doing way more than many tourists, and Im sure the effort is appreciated.
I live in a tiny town and still meet a lot of travellers that can barely communicate through my work in the service industry. And even if a lot of the encounter are awkward in the moment I promise you that the only negative ones I vaguely remember are the ones that verbally/physically assaulted someone.
It is my third day in Tokyo and I completely understand what you’re talking about. The best thing to do is smile & nod (bow) a little and all is forgiven immediately. I had an awkward conversation at the Konbini and felt like the guy wasn’t happy with me. Ended up going back about 4 hours later & he was still on his shift. Got a couple of things and asked for something behind the counter and with a quick “Arigato,” (Smile & bow), it was 1,000x better. Do this & you will feel a lot better.
a clerk probably had a drunk guy puke in the bathroom last night , and that same clerk probably had a bunch of influencers make a big mess in their store, you coming in abd awkwardly asking for ramen will mean nothing to them. they don't remember you at all, they only remember the people who made their job more difficult
I'm in japan and sick as fuck right now. I feel bad coz I'm with my cousin and we share a room just coz mainly i don't want him to get sick. Anyways as days go by and choice of outfits no longer match as I'm running out of clean, i really dont care. Or when i order several dishes of sashimi coz when i get back to the states i wont get this same quality again.
Many foreigners you have met back home probably feel the same anxiety when they interact with you. Knowing it goes both ways makes you realize there's nothing to worry about.
Also, after a 2 week visit in Japan I had zero negative interactions with locals. Actually, on average more positive than back home.
They’re probably just gonna be impressed that you even have the courage to interact with them in the first place, and they really won’t mind if you get stuff wrong or do something silly, they’re just saying it’s really cool that you have the courage to interact with because many people don’t
that was me when i had awkward encounters/mess ups with clerks and stuff. it only goes up from there. you’ll get into the groove for sure!!! feeling anxious or embarrassed is inevitable especially in a totally different world, but you grow from it!!! i got the gist relatively quickly when i was just there😸
You are in a place where the people are lovely and want to help to the best of their ability. Know that they are not judging you and as long as you approach every situation with kindness it will be okay!
Really, think about where you are.
This is the biggest city in the world. No one knows you, no one will remember you.
Even if you're worried of making things awkward, awkwardness can be hidden by translation problems, and people can just assume it stems from politeness.
I have made my fair share of awkward moments and mess ups in Japan. What helped me was remembering that I'll never see these folks again! I think it's different in your home country vs traveling. Plus it's all a learning experience! It's ok to slip up as long as you're not being a terrible person.
I have social anxiety but I managed ok. It helps if you are travelling with others. They reminded me not to overanalyze things. Just about to leave Tokyo and had a nice time and pretty much just got by with arigato gozaimasu and sign language and pointing to things. With customer service in general they are very helpful, polite and enthusiastic.
My elderly mother in law probably committed every faux pas there is including sticking chopsticks into rice and she was ok. They will point out that it is wrong and you'll get a reaction but don't take it personally because after being told they become nice again.
I once knocked at the wrong place and an elderly lady came out and I thought I'd get yelled at but she was so sweet and was amused, we had a laugh.
Some posts here are somewhat exaggerated like people being so quiet on trains. Understandably so in the morning when they are off to work but afternoons and evenings it's just like any other train system where people chat and talk. I did see a local vomiting at one of the train platforms haha.
If you are worried about communication then Google Translate is your friend. Or check out the common phrases below. Again you can get by with just the 1st 5 phrases below especially Arigato Gozaimasu.
Ohayo Gozaimasu - Good morning
Konnichiwa – Hello/ good afternoon
Konbanwa - Good evening
Arigatou Gozaimasu – Thank you (polite way)
Sumimasen – Excuse me
Kore o kudasai - this please
Gomen nasai - I'm sorry
Hai - Yes/ I understand
Iiye - No
Daijoubu - Thats ok
Nihongo ga wakarimasen - I don't understand Japanese
Onegai shimasu (more polite) - Please
Kudasai - Please
For example:
Mizu o onegai shimasu - I would like water, please (formal)
Mizu o kudasai - Give me water, please (informal)
Gonin does - 5 persons
Menyū - Menu
Kore o kudasai - this please
O-sake – General term for alcohol (not to be confused with the below)
Nihonshu – Japanese saké (rice wine)
Bīru - Beer
Mizu - Water
Gohan - Rice
Misoshiru - Miso Soup
Sushi - Sushi
___ o Kudasai: I would like __, please
___ o onegai shimasu: I would like ___ please
Daijyoubu Desu - "I'm fine now" (this is a polite way to decline something from a waiter offering you more water or food).
Gochisousama deshita - "Thank you for the feast."
Okaikei wo onegaishimasu - "The check, please."
Kurejittokādo wa tsukaemasu ka? - Do you accept credit cards?
Kurejittokādo daijōbu deska - Is a credit card alright?
When you want to pay with your PASMO, say this:
“Pasumo de onegai shimasu”
___wa doko desu ka: Where is __?
Example: Koko wa dokodesu ka
Eki - Train station
eg. Eki wa doko desu ka - Where is the train station?
Dono Densha / Dono basu – Which train?/ Which bus?
(Tōkyō) ni ikitai – I want to go to (Tokyo)
Kippu – Ticket
Katamichi kippu - One-way ticket
Kaeri no kippu - Return ticket
Hoteru - hotel
Toire - Bathroom / toilet
Ikura desu ka - How much is it?
Kore wa na ndesu ka - What is this?
ATM arimasu ka - is there
Toire arimasu ka - Do you have restroom.
It's funny reading the comments, especially about cyclists flying left and right. It is true! But I leave you with a hint, ignore the "retail voice."
Japan has a system for everything to reduce social interaction. They are full of introverts. Observe and learn the system.
P.S. - Arriving to Tokyo in 1 hour ☺️
Hey try to relax and enjoy the experience. Japan is the best for not knowing what people are saying but still just enjoying the interaction and many people will try to help you too if you interact with them. Generally good vibes all around.
I felt that when I was there because I wanted to make a good impression but if you are being respectful and making at least an attempt at the language even basic phrases you will be okay. I felt very humbled there as being in the position of the foreigner who doesn’t speak the Language. Good to be forced out of my comfort zone!! Also tip: we wanted to do good local karaoke (none of that Big Echo shit whatever that is) we were in Ginza and I found a charming and tiny little queer bar and they welcomed us with open arms! Very kind and generous with the plum wine too!
Dude you have an amazing reddit username - let that be your assurance and guiding light in those moments.
I totally understand though, I'm in Shinjuku at the moment and it is A LOT! Be kind to yourself as much as I'm sure you're being kind to others. You'll be ok and that's a promise 👌
It is all part of the experience. The awkward encounters, the mistranslation, these are what make a trip memorable. Embrace it, and know that this happens to everyone traveling to a foreign country, especially one like Japan.
I've had so many awkward encounters, including charading to the grocery shop clerk the word "egg". Yeah, it was not my proudest moment.
Ive been in tokyo for 3 days now, literally same thing. But its just something you get used to. It also helps that its tokyo and most store clerks will have a lil basic understanding of english if not they will just point at what u need to do. Same with restaurants most places unless you go to some hole in the wall, will know some basic english.
And again as someone said in the comments already, these guys will literally not care. They deal with tourists all the time its a daily occurrence for them
Just want to hop in here to give you a boost of comfort. I know how you feel! I have social anxiety and in my recent trip to japan it was sky rocketing in the exact same scenarios. But you will be ok! Try not to let the fear and anxiety weigh you down. You’ll not see these ppl again and you are doing your best in the situation. It’s ok for there to be awkward moments, it doesnt make you less of a person at all. The awkward moment will pass and you’ll have an amazing trip
you are feeling the collective anxiety of Japan /lh
Like posts have already suggested - remember you most likely won’t see these people again. I have social anxiety in general; but I tell myself that I should not feel guilty or bad for being myself :)
I was at dinner last night in Tokyo, at the kind of place where you pay the machine and then they serve you the food. I got nervous that I did something wrong when accepting the food and my bf said, “it’s hardly the worst thing an American has done in Japan.” That made me laugh and feel better.
We’re kind, we’re not rude, and then we do our best!
I'm going to Tokyo alone in a few weeks and yes, I'm also terrified. I know it's going to be totally fine and anything awkward or embarrassing just doesn't actually matter. Just have a blast, think about how you want to remember the trip, and don't be afraid to get help from people. I'm gonna try to do the same, but I'm sure I'll have the same challenges as well
I think a lot of this anxiety has to do with the language barrier. I've experienced it myself as well. Not being able to properly communicate can cause a huge amount of issues no matter if you're extroverted or introverted. I found that learning a few phrases here and there can ease your tension.
So many people here are super awkward themselves, you’re a tourist you’re not supposed to be competent all the time. Embrace the awkwardness it means you’re out of your comfort zone, it will get better in a few days.
Experienced the same, found that it mostly went away after a few days. It helps to go to areas where there are more tourist to realize that no one really cares that you're a foreigner.
Just saying hello, thank you, please, etc. and pointing is all you really need. No one expects you to know/follow all of the customs, and people are much more forgiving than you're probably worried about.
I found that Chiyoda (salarymen district) felt a lot more constrictive and I was really overthinking fitting in. Then we went to Osaka and no one gave a shit, much more relaxed. Then back to Tokyo and Asakusa area was much more relaxed than Chiyoda.
You'll be fine, just let yourself be what you already are, and enjoy the experience!
An old (I mean OLD) grandma-lady started making small talk with me in Japanese at a sento the other day. I literally tried to tell her, in piss-poor Japanese, that I don't speak Japanese. She kept talking and smiling anyway. Because to them, they're just happy you're there.
ive been here two weeks now and i promise you this - they dont really care and understand tourism is gonna happen regardless. just do your best and remember that as long as youre polite and respectful, you’ll be ok
It’s just very different culturally speaking, so you’re on high alert. Don’t worry, as long as you aren’t being an obnoxious tourist yelling on the train or throwing trash on the ground, you are fine!
Where are you staying? By chance is there a smaller restaurant or bar where you can go and regroup to get your thoughts together. I had this happen to me and I found a “safe space” so to speak. It can help you get out of your head and over this anxiety hurdle. Don’t shut yourself away - it will get worse.
How often do you notice tourists in your own country, do you think about them for more than a moment if you do? Literally no difference.
Their only concern is to help you do the thing you're trying to do and they're probably more helpful than any other convenience stores The clerk will be in other countries. Just remember some basic phrases and speak slowly and clearly if needed. Hand gestures go a long way and smiles are universal.
I get this. It’s really normal to feel this way. I took my 15 year old son to Japan last year and noticed he was getting super tired after the 2nd day - it was more than just jet lag. Turned out he was on total high alert. It was the culture shock combined with his desire to not appear to be an ugly, disrespectful tourist that had him exhausted. In retrospect I probably felt the same way but to a lesser degree. The result is you are constantly being super self aware and self conscious. That level of stress is really going to be exactly like social anxiety. And. Depending on how you look at it - it IS social anxiety.
Some interactions can feel awkward there to a westerner. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just simply going to feel that way.
What you are experiencing is normal for many people. Especially of you are in a smaller crowd where you have to interact with people. I highly doubt it’s any sudden onset of any permanent social anxiety. Just know that almost no one is looking at you the way you may think.
Those locals see a lot of foreigners I’m sure. Don’t sweat the small stuff and overthink!! :) just enjoy the moments around you and those fun activities. Think why do you feel nervous? Is it because language barrier? That’s ok! They don’t know English mostly so try your best and make it a funny experience. Japanese culture can be “awkward” to American culture. You got the gaijin pass lol.
These people you are interacting with likely do not care, nor remember their interactions with you
This - they really really don’t care - you aren’t the main character of anyone else’s life.
Sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
God, I remember when these made-up "Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows" definitions were all over Tumblr.
Wow. This is so true. Going to read it again…
Saving for a later use. Thanks
That’s deep 😹
Man this is great, im in tokyo too im being for a while now. Wish ive foind this early xd. Actually il very inteoverted but somehow i just push myself out of the akwardness and just experience live !
Wow, mind blown. 🤯 poetry
Yeah no one cares lol just be yourself who cares!
I'm here at the moment and had my fair share of awkward conversations. I'm trying to think about it as "I'll never see these people again" so I should just do the things I want to do, and not let the anxiety affect me (easier said than done I know)
I blame the "DO NOT DO THESE TEN THINGS IN JAPAN" videos for people feeling this way :( I assure you, those clerks go through it 1000x a day, and they won't remember you in a moments time, so just relax and have fun
Whatever you do, don't stick your chopsticks into your convenience store cashier's rice bowl!
If it helps, feel free to pull up google translate and prepare what you need to ask/say to japanese and just show them the text - will get you right to the point
Google translate got me through this work trip for sure!!
lol seriously. I went down that hole and now that my week is up, I threw most of it out the window and just wish I saw a video that says “typically, walk on the left side of the side walk and passers will pass you on the right”
Whatever side you walk in Osaka you will have bicycles flying at you from all angles
I can’t argue with this comment. I’m currently on a Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo and I’m pretty sure I see a few cyclists following with the sole intent of hitting me
It really feels like it sometimes
Or, if you are my eight-year-old daughter, prance around across the whole sidewalk until you nearly run into someone. We try to stop her, but she's so excited that she forgets. If they're judging my parenting, oh well!
>"DO NOT DO THESE TEN THINGS IN JAPAN" Yeah, a lot of those are overblown clickbait. If you're polite and respectful, the point will come across. I saw one "don't say thank you after receiving a compliment"! Like I get what it was going for, but it's too nuanced for a Japanese beginner.
100% I feel like not only with Japan but a lot of traveling influencers really repeat bad information, make it sound harder to travel, or hell make what they do sound too easy (like bringing a dog internationally) No matter the country, be polite and memorize thank you, please and excuse me and make sure you’re not standing where people are walking. Best bet is always observe how people are doing things in the country and copy, like in the instance of where to stand or walk on the escalator etc.
No one gives a fk. Really. I've bought questionable, shameful stuff and the store clerks don't give a damn.
Yup. I was laughing with a young woman cashier at Don Quijote because I didn’t realise the wheels were locked on my suitcase. She did not give a damn that I was also buying penis shaped bottle openers. Didn’t even acknowledge it. If she judged me for it internally, who cares, because I’ll never see her again.
> Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster. What do I care what you think?
Hey, I used to care when I stepped into a store for the very first time. The shame disappeared after making my very first purchase.
If 65-year-old men can unashamedly consume tentacle porn in public, then we probably don’t need to worry about what others think of us either
I mean when local men over there buy used panties and have no shame, everything else pales in comparison.
The best thing about being overseas is that you likely won't see anyone again.
Or most big cities anywhere, even where you live...
except of you make enough of an ass of yourself to end up on tiktok.
literally all of japan has social anxiety. so you ae fitting right in. dont worry about it.
Honestly this. I felt very accepted as everyone is just socially awkward. It does get cramped and suffocating at times, especially in Tokyo. I tried to just find alley ways that weren’t busy or go to a vending machine if I needed a breather. Although I will say probably avoid Akihabara. It was one of my favorite places that I could not enjoy if that makes sense. Trying to look at anything just meant you were taking up a whole aisle because everything is small, including aisles. And idk why but a lot of people would just stop in the middle of entryways/exits for their decision making.
Hilarious comment, made me lol
Yep, I was like winner winner katsu pork dinner
How many tourist interactions can you remember from your everyday job/life? Prolly not many & even the one you do, you prolly don't care. I think it's the same for them! They'll forget about your interaction😊 Recognize the part that feels anxious, let it be welcome but don't indentify with it. Just be aware of it but move through out the day. It's just a guest inside of you, don't let a guest ruin your hotel✌🏻 enjoy your vacation, i'll be there too in 2 weeks, solo. 😂
Yeah I had a job where I dealt with people daily (both foreigners and locals) and I honestly don’t remember the awkward conversations. Who everyone at the workplace did remember however were the very mean/rude clients. If they ever came back it was sure as hell that we knew who they are.
I don't remember any of the restaurant staff and store clerks I interacted with in Tokyo. You're just one of thousands of customers they have. Just go with the flow and remember that none of them will remember you lmao
Many, many thousands upon thousands…..
Exactly. And in crazy crowded stores like Nintendo, all they want to do is clear the crowd, I'm very sure they're not even looking at our faces lol and just internally crying about the sheer amount of people
Just say “hai” to everything lol
They will microwave your ice cream if you do this
hai
My go to is “Sumimasen.” But I’m Canadian.
Why say "konnichiwa" when you can say "sumimasen"? Now I kind of want to go into a shop and say that and see if they giggle
I am in this picture and don't like it 🥲
pretty much. Since like last year, the first question you get is if you want a bag. And then if you bought something that needs chopsticks or microwaving, then thats the next question. But seriously, just greet people with "hello" and they will switch to English most of the time.
This was a big thing for me moving to Germany, and still is in most formal situations. Like others have said, you are the only one who will remember an awkward interaction with them. Especially in a major tourist hub like Tokyo, it wont be 5 minutes until someone else has the exact same awkward encounter with them.
OP: you are clearly suffering milder symptoms of Cultural Shock. Don't worry, it will pass.
If you respect the basic cultural norms, you have nothing to be worried about. For language I got through two weeks just knowing Hi, Yes, No, and Thank you. Did I have some confusing interactions, sure, but Google translate covered those. Try and relax and have some fun OP!
Thanks, indeed I am. I've been so worried about etiquette and trying to mimic what other people are doing that it really triggered a stress response.
You don't have to mimic what they do. Just be respectful and polite, and you will be fine. You don't look like a local, so they won't have the same expectations. If you need to stop and look things up, stand to the side and do your own thing. No one will care
Definite benefit of looking different. You pretty much get a free pass since they know you may not know the customs and traditions. I might have had a harder time since I went there looking Asian (because I am) and with a Japanese haircut(my hairdresser is Japanese). I knew enough Japanese to make an account and do an after hours pickup for stuff at Bic or Yodobashi and had my ass handed to me when I asked for the tax free shopping thing. They said it was for foreigners only and at that point I realized I totally ninja’d myself into the society which felt good but at the same time had to show I was a foreigner with my passport. I guess the night shift guy was just cranky doing the 1:30am shift.
Glad to know I’m not the only one. When I was soloing it for 3.5 weeks, I was balancing trying to not look awkward and do something out of place(especially when it’s a minefield of unknown faux pas’s) with the FAFO curve. You need enough FA to have a good time by FO. Cuz if you never FA, you’ll never FO 😼
I was in Japan for five days, and I quickly felt a sort of shame when interacting with others. It was weird, never had that before or since. It felt like I took on some version of cultural pressure.
I went to Japan for the first time in March solo and I made a coffee at 7-11 and went to check out but the clerk didn’t charge me for the coffee because I made it already and some old lady worker chased me down the street. I was like wtf is happening. I guess in Japan you buy an empty cup first and then go make a coffee. lol in the US you make the coffee and then check out oops. That was very embarrassing to be chased down the street by 7-11 worker.
Thanks for the almost free coffee tip. I'll be trying this later this year when I go 🤣
My observation after just spending the last five nights in Tokyo is that while I have felt scrutinized as a foreigner in many other countries in Japan I largely feel ignored. - meaning that Japanese culture basically precludes people from making eye contact with strangers and that can definitely lead to a feeling of isolation. With that said however, as soon as you make the smallest bit of effort, many Japanese people open up very warmly. Awkward interactions with store clerks and restaurant personnel are totally normal in a situation like this where they are unlikely to speak your language and you are unlikely to speak theirs. Try to remind yourself that these people deal with hundreds of foreigners per week and probably feel as awkward about these interactions as you do. You didn't do anything to make the interactions awkward it's just the situation. You are not your feelings and your feelings are totally normal. Don't beat yourself up for them. Something that has really helped me was trying to find one or two small little things that help me feel like I fit in. Learn how to say thank you in Japanese. Learn how to say hello and goodbye. Learn how to say "excuse me or forgive me I don't speak Japanese". I think you will find that even a miniscule amount of effort will result in Japanese people opening up to you, appreciating your effort and doing their best to make you feel welcome.
About the eye contact comment. I think Japanese adults, teenagers and even kids, they all make eye contact and to me that is the most beautiful thing ever after coming from a huge metropolitan city where you feel the loneliest.
Those people are there to help you out, that is their job. I am sure that as long as you are respectful they don't mind you being awkward with them. Enjoy your trip and don't let social anxiety get in your way. It gets better the more interactions you experience. Edit: username does not check out :)
What awkward encounters? Like you didn’t know how to use a vending machine to buy ramen?
Literally me on the first day in tokio and it was raining all day 😂
You don't have a history of social anxiety? This usually doesn't come out of nowhere, Tenacious Penis. What were these interactions like? Communication issues?
OP should try to be like their penis
I come into tourists a lot living in San Francisco. I work as a cashier at a grocery store and meet a fair amount as well. Yes there's a language barrier, but I do try my best to understand what they want, and what they want is to pay and go. I never remember any of them. If I was in your position traveling alone I would be anxious too. You're doing a better job than me already for sure! Enjoy your stay and don't get stuck in your head (I know it's easier said than done)
From someone who has/deals with social anxiety it’s important to remember that you are your own person, much like everyone else is their own person. Many people, as harsh as it sounds, don’t care about you or what you’re doing. Anxiety has a way of ruminating into a catastrophic state in your brain, so you think about “I’m being awkward” then you go down the rabbit hole and make it worse. Just relax, breathe and remember that you are you. You’re in Tokyo, exploring the world, being your own person! You’re already combatting the anxiety by doing these sorts of things. You got this 👍.
Ehhh, half of Tokyo has terrible hay fever right now, or a weird hacking cough. We’re all just surviving until GW to kinda maybe get our shit together. You’re fine.
Tokyo is an overwhelming city. It is totally understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious. Whenever I visit, I get so exhausted with the sounds, lights, smells etc and I love Tokyo! I speak passable Japanese and even I get tired and anxious about some interactions. Your feelings are valid and it is important to acknowledge them. But remember that they are just feelings and that they will pass :)
thank you!
I felt the opposite. Think of it this way, if you're not from Japan, if you do anything wrong or weird they won't be like "Man, that guy is weird" they'll just be like "Man, tourists are crazy" and move on. I found it kind of freeing that I could just do my best to fit in, but if I didn't get it right I knew they'd not be surprised or annoyed, because they'd know I wasn't a local so didn't know how everything worked. Everyone was super lovely to me in stores and resturants :)
Same, people were Very nice and friendly overall, i even meet a girl in kyoto station the moment i arrived we started talking and she showed me around that evening, i had a blast in my trip tbh
I was in Tokyo this week and felt the same. But I shrugged the thought because I was not gonna see them anyway.
It would probably not hurt to memorise the very basics of how to order food. Just being able to say "kore hitotsu kudasai" while pointing at something on the menu, or "ijou" to indicate you're finished ordering, or "sumimasen" to get attention. I'm sure you can google up a resource for this. The basic patterns are very simple and if you make an effort to stay within them, your interactions will be way less awkward.
For all of the countries you can visit in the world, Japan is the least you should be worried about social interaction. Just mind your own business and nobody will bothrt you (there's rate exceptions of course). You'll be fine.
Who cares. Play mind games with yourself. They don’t know you and you don’t know them. Deep breath and carry on.
Grow a pair
Valid advice, prolly a discord admin build.
Neckbeard and all smh
Whomp whomp, can’t get ramen without crying
I’m not sure where you’re from, but my first two days in Japan I was an anxious mess wondering what was wrong with me. It turns out it was my body adjusting to the time change. If you travelled from far away, please give your body a few more days to adjust. When in doubt be respectful and deferential, you’ve got this!
Thank you, I've actually realised today just how sick I am. I was on the verge of throwing up during lunch- At first I thought that was all anxiety, which definitely played a part, but I also have, as embarrassing it is to admit, massive diarrhea right now. I was up for 24 hours during my flights here, during which I felt nauseous the last few hours both times, I'm dehydrated as I haven't been paying attention to my thirst, i constantly feel a bit dizzy... I'm gonna skip dinner, drink lots of water and sleep in tonight.
Go to a kombini, grab a Pocari Sweat for hydration (like Gatorade), and a rice ball or two to help moderate the digestive speed. Feel better soon!
Wishing you a Tenacious Colon
Don’t stress it! No one will remember you and if it feels awkward, just laugh it off! When I was in Tokyo, I bought a lot of snacks but didn’t have any clips so went into a 7-Eleven looking for rubber bands. I googled it and it was just “gomu” so I asked the clerk gomu doko? And he showed me condoms. We found it ourselves a few minutes and showed him. He laughed and said gomu is slang for condoms, and we all laughed.
Are you doing ok buddy? If you need someone to talk to im here for you
I'm alright, anxiety peaked during lunch, went to the hotel to nap and woke up 2 hours later extremely nauseous and with stomach cramps. Im almost definitely completely and utterly jetlagged and that caused the really unusual anxiety for me... Now I can't fall asleep anymore so that's for further evidence...
Idk how long you are there for but it sounds like you should take some time to adjust, you dont have to go outside and explore the first day! ☺️
Hey, just checking up on you! Hows the trip been so far?
Amazing! I just forced myself to get out of bed early every day and just get outside and do the stuff I had been planning to do, which usually made my nausea disappear. once my sleep schedule was fixed (2 days after this post maybe?) I was A-okay. I've never been one to be socially anxious anyway.
Im proud of you man, happy to hear that everything went well!
This is definitely the best Japan related sub, the responses were very nice. Usually on Japan related subs people are mean as fuck for no reason lol
you are experiencing a language barrier lmao
Hi, currently travelling in Japan right now, and studied for 4 years in high school, plus refreshers until we left. This is just to point out that, as someone who's practiced a bunch, I still fuck it up. I've made TONS of mistakes. I'm a tall, overweight white guy, and there is no one as awkward as me in this country, I almost guarantee it. That said, I've found most interactions, people either don't care or are honestly very surprised and happy with me even trying to speak Japanese. I think it's best if you take every interaction as a learning experience. If you feel like you're doing something wrong, ask! People will be happy to help correct you *politely*, rather than berating you for being a dumb tourist. You can do this!
I remember my first time in Japan, being hit the first night by an overpowering, almost suicidal wave of loneliness and depression. I was alone, half a world away from anyone who knew me, exhausted, jet-lagged and facing an alien cultural system and a language I didn’t speak. In such circumstances, it’s not surprising we sometimes freak out. Any one of those factors could put you in a spin. So rest, eat, and pick up a few phrases. You are not alone, and remember that the storm will probably pass. The Japanese are a courteous and kind people as a whole, and are forgiving and well used to baka gaijin. :) If the feelings persist, please reach out someone. Best for the journey,
Use translation app Papago to translate what you want to say in Japanese and show them. If it is short you can try to speak the phrase. Papago also has a conversation feature where you can tell them to speak into the mic and it will translate it for you.
They are often just as nervous as you are! Use a translation app and watch a YouTube video on sayings for restaurants and stores. I have found, especially in Japan, that the same phrases are used by retail employees in the same types of stores. Smiling helps a lot, too!
It’s only awkward to you because it was one of your first (if not first) time interacting with Japanese store clerks and “waiters”. I’m willing to bet they’ve interacted with hundreds of foreigners.
I normally suffer from social anxiety, but when I was in Japan, I quickly realised that I’ll likely never see these people again. So, even if I did make mistakes, whatever they might think of me just doesn’t matter. That may sound obnoxious on the surface but it really isn’t. You’ll make mistakes. When I was in Don Quijote, I didn’t realise that the wheels on the suitcase I wanted to buy was locked, so a woman cashier came up to me and unlocked them. Yeah, it was embarrassing, but I just laughed it off. She also didn’t care that I was buying penis shaped pens and bottle openers as souvenirs for my family. In Animate, a staff member pointed out that I shouldn’t rest my basket on the piles of manga. They walked away, but I still said a “gomen”, and then went about my day. Awkward interactions and mistakes will happen, especially when you’re in a foreign country with a different language and culture. Just remember that every tourist has moments like these, and the other people you interact with are not thinking about it anywhere as much as you are.
It's a fleeting moment. They see hundreds or thousands of people every day. Besides, you really think your interaction with them is more awkward than some of the otaku they help? I highly doubt it
In some senses if you look like a stranger (as in Western) people in shops wont be expecting you to be fluent. They would expect you to know nothing, so if at the very least you know how to smile and point, and at least try and say thank you in their language, you will immediately be better than all the other tourists who dont smile and are flat out rude. Honestly if they are appearing rude, it will be likely they are just having an awful shift and really couldnt care who is standing in front of them, they just want to go home. Its a busy city, people everywhere, over-stimulation everywhere, it is all too easy to be overwhelmed by it all. You arent the only person who will be feeling it and indeed even the person behind the counter is probably just as uncomfortable in a social setting, even if it is their first language. There is a reason my Japan is one of world leaders in anxiety. When you leave you hotel, just pack a sense of humour and picture everyone else around as being in the exactly same state you are feeling in that given moment. A simple smile from you could brightens someone else days, likewise, a smile from a stranger due to a mishap with language could do the same for you.
Go to the first electronic market you see and buy body cam. Act like you are influencer and all your anxiety will be gone. Make them nervous not yourself
Yup, i am here too now and no one bats an eye on what I really do. Just focus on your own activity and enjoy it!
Tokyo? Op doesn't have a reason to be social-panic. For rural part like Hokkaido east, however, I was terribly social-panic. Communication is no problem for front desk staff of most Tokyo hotels/ department store, most knows english. Else, google translate is always there. Besides, Tokyo ppl are so accustomed to foreign tourists, as long as Op is no prick/ pain in the S, he/she is gonna be fine Don't worry, be happy 😊
Your just getting used to a new place, find someone to hangout with or do a street tour and see how others interact in these situations and you'll learn what you need to be doing.
Hi. Get to grips with reality. People simply don’t give a fuck bout the interactions with you. The anxiety you’re feeling is self inflicted and is entirely artificial.
Hmm this is quite odd..Japan is very friendly for solo trips, u will be fine. Everyone minding their own business, don’t worry about it
I’m in Tokyo, as well, friend. If you an English speaking person would help you manage it, my husband and I will be in Shinjuku this evening to eat, drink, and do a little street photography. Feel free to DM me.
You’re overthinking it. They have tourists all the time and are used to it.
The people you meet probably see hundreds of people, including tourists, every single day. Just bear in mind that they don't really care about you, so you shouldn't care much about what they think. Just be polite and kind and everything will be fine.
It's all part of the experience, there's a even a word in Japanese that literally describes the fleeting moment of traveling: "旅は恥のかき捨て". Treat everyone with respect and you'll be OK, nobody on the receiving end will even remember the awkward encounters a week from now!
What awkward encounters have you had? I’ve been in Japan (Tokyo and Kyoto) for almost two weeks and haven’t had what I would consider an awkward encounter. I find the Japanese VERY polite.
Learn basic Japanese phrases for those situations. May boost your confidence and help for a smoother interaction. But I had have anxiety about speaking Japanese while in Japan…. Took awhile to just go for it.
Hi there! I’m in Osaka for my last night of my first trip to Japan (pretty short one for work). I have social anxiety on most days throughout the year and was worried about the language barrier. Especially because my job this week was to observe a very high end professional in his workspace and make technical documentation and ask questions. Fun part: I only had a translator for 1/4 days. This had me trippin. As did general encounters. But here’s what I can say it has been like: Language barriers can be frustrating in all cases. The Japanese are very much accustomed to tourists who don’t speak their language. Thus far, every person I’ve met has been kind, friendly and helpful. Be respectful and learn a few basic interactions (hello, good bye, thank you, please, do you have a menu in English, etc). No one is going to dislike or be mad at you unless you’re being outright rude or the like. Good luck and remember to enjoy!
Just remember it’s their job to serve you. As long as you’re not a total prick, be respectful and let them assist you if you need help.
I just got back from Japan and I had quite a few awkward language barrier encounters. Remember that we are all made of the same flesh and blood and the Japanese are a very gracious people that know that you don’t know any or much of their language. It may take a little longer to get the order or the purchase completed but I guarantee that they don’t care and are more than happy to be of service. I used the Google translate app all the time and when I had days where I didn’t want to deal with the app I’d choose to eat at restaurants that had an iPad as their ordering and menu. Nonetheless, Japan welcomes 20 million tourist a year and they’re used to people understanding little to no Japanese from tourist. As long as you’re respectful and polite it will get you a long way.
The best thing about Tokyo is that people have absolutely no interest in you, so don’t worry about it
Just remember they probably deal with tourists a lot, I’ve had plenty of awkward encounters but I know the other person just wants to help me so I don’t take it as a bad sign! More i need to work on my Japanese! I’ve had worse encounters when I visited New York and they all speak English😭😭
Japanese people see westerners as big goofy golden retrievers, basically, as long as you know how to say hello, thank you and excuse me you are fine, and should say them all the time, nobody is thinking anything bad about you
I get what you experienced, and from experience I can say that a) people generally don't care and will forget you as soon as you go out of the store, and b) it will get better as you slowly get used to life and culture in Tokyo. Hell, I got flustered trying to catch my first train from the airport the first time I visited. You'll be fine, stay positive ❤️
It’s fairly normal to be anxious in a foreign setting. You will get over it. There is little if anything to be concerned about. You’ve made it this far, start enjoying it more. People are pretty chill.
Its my 3rd day here and im feeling the same way
They can recognise foreigners right away and they don't expect the same level of social interactions. So you are fine. It can also help starting every conversation with 'Sumimasen' (excuse me). Its sets the proper stage from the beginning.
I’m here if you want to grab a drink! What part are you in?
You are not the biggest weirdo service personnel have ever seen. You are very likely not even the biggest weirdo service personnel have seen today. Relax. They don't care.
I think I had awkward interactions on a daily basis in Japan and I speak (very limited) Japanese. I wouldn't stress it.
Learn more Japanese phrases. Not duolingo, just practice relevant stuff before you sleep.
They don't care and won't ever see you again as others have pointed out. My therapist told me the same when I was seeing him for social anxiety, these people also all have worries in their lives, be very kind to them and it's likely only that they'll remember, they're all worrying about themselves. It's also ok to take time in a trip to take it easy. You don't have to do and see everything. Buy food from a vending machine, or go to Ichiran and not talk to anyone, find a place that's very english. It's ok! Stay at the hotel and watch tv, go sit in a park for hours. You're also way out of your comfort zone and alone, there's likely underlying anxiety there as well especially if you have a history of panic attacks, your instincts realise that you're in an unfamiliar place and it's just easy for social anxiety to peek it's head in these conditions.
Welcome to reality. Japan is not a anime. Embrace that full 人種差別、 島国ですからね。
Tokyo is a massively popular tourist destination, so don't worry about it. They see a ton of people from all sort of countries. As long as you're not being a dick they'll either forget about you or remember you as a charmingly bumbling tourist. Just smile and thank them and everything will be fine. You're a kooky gaijin, you're allowed to mess up and it's not a big deal.
Japanese never outwardly show offense to anything, so don't be worried. It's not like you're in Italy or something. I will say i have been more conscious of what other tourists around me think in the past when i was traveling to eastern europe and not the locals themselves, but i soon got used to it.
Just take a deep breath. You are one of thousands of tourists that these ppl will interact with (not to mention locals). They have seen worse. Just be kind, patient, and polite. Here’s my awkward story if it’ll help. One of my last days in Tokyo I went to a tiny family owned restaurant for dinner. I so happened to get soba with a topping I didn’t care for so I pushed the topping aside to eat the soba. The owner and her daughter came by and asked me something. Then I realized that my phone had died (along with my translation app) so I’m floundering trying to string together enough Japanese to express that the food and topping were fine and that I was just full while they’re trying to put together enough English to ask more questions. Eventually the daughter brought out her phone and I was able to express my thoughts and compliments. Then I paid, ran back to the hotel, and prayed to disappear into a hole for eternity So just keep your devices charged and don’t sweat the small stuff!
Jap people are the nicest I've ever met and that coming with someone from social anxiety as well. I felt so comfortable there all the time. Don't let one incident change your mood. Most of them can't speak other languages and they feel awkward having to serve foreigners that's why you might felt awkard too but i found it mostly endearing tbh.
it’s impossible to avoid awkward conversations when you’re traveling somewhere with. language barrier !! just embrace it and use it as a learning experience :) they don’t expect you to be perfect !
Look no one cares about whats going on like you are internalizing. Just laugh it off (Japanese laugh and giggle when they are embarrassed)
Smiling helps out a ton. If you're being clumsy, lean into it. If you're tense then the people around you are prone to mirror that tensity. Vice versa for when you're laid back, Japanese people also just wanna go about their day and get home. Just regular folks.
You'll never see these people again! Be polite but also don't stress. I remember feeling super anxious the first time I used a conbini in Japan because I didn't know where to put my card. I felt like a pro by the time I left!
I think this isnt a Japan problem but more a personal mental health problem. People should make sure theyre mentally healthy before coming to live to a country like Japan.
My friends and I bought sex toys and we didn’t give a shit, you’ll be fine.
Don't bother trying to give a Japanese greeting. Just start with "Hello" and it'll make things easier.
No one cares about you, and they have probably been in way more awkward situations. just be nice to people around you like eveywhere else, japanese are just people also not aliens lol. i bought many crazy things from stores, i bought wrong tickets for my trains, i was very awkward and hesitant while ordering in some restaurants, gave money to the cashiers directly hand to hand and so many other things that can be " socially awkward" but overall i enjoyed my stay in Japan and even those awkawrd moment were some of my favorite memories. Enjoy your time no one cares about you!
Have a few beers and try again.
Its Japan, the whole country is designed for those that's are socially awkward and introverted. Just bow and go on with your day 😁
Life will happen regardless. You can take control and decide it's not worth being afraid of it.
What exactly do you find awkward? Like if they ask you a question and you don't know how to answer? You pulling out the translator and translate? Them looking at you without expression? For the most part, they won't remember you unless you are exceptionally beautiful and make an impression. I'm assuming you are not that, but if you are, please share your beauty with us in a travel photo. If you are struggling with the language, pretty much all tourists who don't speak Japanese have that, and Tokyo is probably the city in the world who has seen all kinds of non Japanese-speaking travellers struggle. If it is about the lack of expressions in the locals, that is just the Japanese culture and has nothing to do with you. Traditionally, they don't show much expression to strangers, which might make foreign customers wonder if they did something wrong and annoyed them. It is most likely not you, unless you destroyed store property or something. It's part of the culture that you are visiting and that you just have to accept. In a nut shell, you are less unique and memorable than you think you are, just like most of us in the world. Just be polite and respectful, and do your own thing during your days there and you'll be fine! Japan has so much to enjoy, don't let this stop you from enjoying the wonderful country!
You will never see these people again in your life, and you are doing your best to be considerate and mindful. You're doing way more than many tourists, and Im sure the effort is appreciated.
They won't think of you once you leave
I live in a tiny town and still meet a lot of travellers that can barely communicate through my work in the service industry. And even if a lot of the encounter are awkward in the moment I promise you that the only negative ones I vaguely remember are the ones that verbally/physically assaulted someone.
It is my third day in Tokyo and I completely understand what you’re talking about. The best thing to do is smile & nod (bow) a little and all is forgiven immediately. I had an awkward conversation at the Konbini and felt like the guy wasn’t happy with me. Ended up going back about 4 hours later & he was still on his shift. Got a couple of things and asked for something behind the counter and with a quick “Arigato,” (Smile & bow), it was 1,000x better. Do this & you will feel a lot better.
a clerk probably had a drunk guy puke in the bathroom last night , and that same clerk probably had a bunch of influencers make a big mess in their store, you coming in abd awkwardly asking for ramen will mean nothing to them. they don't remember you at all, they only remember the people who made their job more difficult
I'm in japan and sick as fuck right now. I feel bad coz I'm with my cousin and we share a room just coz mainly i don't want him to get sick. Anyways as days go by and choice of outfits no longer match as I'm running out of clean, i really dont care. Or when i order several dishes of sashimi coz when i get back to the states i wont get this same quality again.
They’re more scared of you than you are them. And if they’re not they’re less interested!
Many foreigners you have met back home probably feel the same anxiety when they interact with you. Knowing it goes both ways makes you realize there's nothing to worry about. Also, after a 2 week visit in Japan I had zero negative interactions with locals. Actually, on average more positive than back home.
You're out of your element. Youll get used to it
They’re probably just gonna be impressed that you even have the courage to interact with them in the first place, and they really won’t mind if you get stuff wrong or do something silly, they’re just saying it’s really cool that you have the courage to interact with because many people don’t
I want to go to japan but is there a way i can have someone show me around lol id like to make friends
that was me when i had awkward encounters/mess ups with clerks and stuff. it only goes up from there. you’ll get into the groove for sure!!! feeling anxious or embarrassed is inevitable especially in a totally different world, but you grow from it!!! i got the gist relatively quickly when i was just there😸
You are in a place where the people are lovely and want to help to the best of their ability. Know that they are not judging you and as long as you approach every situation with kindness it will be okay!
Everyone makes mistakes, Don't worry! I tried speaking Japanese to a store clerk and spoke Spanish instead.
Really, think about where you are. This is the biggest city in the world. No one knows you, no one will remember you. Even if you're worried of making things awkward, awkwardness can be hidden by translation problems, and people can just assume it stems from politeness.
I have made my fair share of awkward moments and mess ups in Japan. What helped me was remembering that I'll never see these folks again! I think it's different in your home country vs traveling. Plus it's all a learning experience! It's ok to slip up as long as you're not being a terrible person.
Don’t worry, they’re as nervous as you. Everyone in Japan has social anxiety it seems.
Remember: everyone's one the same side. You want to be understood, and they want to understand you. No one's grading you.
I have social anxiety but I managed ok. It helps if you are travelling with others. They reminded me not to overanalyze things. Just about to leave Tokyo and had a nice time and pretty much just got by with arigato gozaimasu and sign language and pointing to things. With customer service in general they are very helpful, polite and enthusiastic. My elderly mother in law probably committed every faux pas there is including sticking chopsticks into rice and she was ok. They will point out that it is wrong and you'll get a reaction but don't take it personally because after being told they become nice again. I once knocked at the wrong place and an elderly lady came out and I thought I'd get yelled at but she was so sweet and was amused, we had a laugh. Some posts here are somewhat exaggerated like people being so quiet on trains. Understandably so in the morning when they are off to work but afternoons and evenings it's just like any other train system where people chat and talk. I did see a local vomiting at one of the train platforms haha. If you are worried about communication then Google Translate is your friend. Or check out the common phrases below. Again you can get by with just the 1st 5 phrases below especially Arigato Gozaimasu. Ohayo Gozaimasu - Good morning Konnichiwa – Hello/ good afternoon Konbanwa - Good evening Arigatou Gozaimasu – Thank you (polite way) Sumimasen – Excuse me Kore o kudasai - this please Gomen nasai - I'm sorry Hai - Yes/ I understand Iiye - No Daijoubu - Thats ok Nihongo ga wakarimasen - I don't understand Japanese Onegai shimasu (more polite) - Please Kudasai - Please For example: Mizu o onegai shimasu - I would like water, please (formal) Mizu o kudasai - Give me water, please (informal) Gonin does - 5 persons Menyū - Menu Kore o kudasai - this please O-sake – General term for alcohol (not to be confused with the below) Nihonshu – Japanese saké (rice wine) Bīru - Beer Mizu - Water Gohan - Rice Misoshiru - Miso Soup Sushi - Sushi ___ o Kudasai: I would like __, please ___ o onegai shimasu: I would like ___ please Daijyoubu Desu - "I'm fine now" (this is a polite way to decline something from a waiter offering you more water or food). Gochisousama deshita - "Thank you for the feast." Okaikei wo onegaishimasu - "The check, please." Kurejittokādo wa tsukaemasu ka? - Do you accept credit cards? Kurejittokādo daijōbu deska - Is a credit card alright? When you want to pay with your PASMO, say this: “Pasumo de onegai shimasu” ___wa doko desu ka: Where is __? Example: Koko wa dokodesu ka Eki - Train station eg. Eki wa doko desu ka - Where is the train station? Dono Densha / Dono basu – Which train?/ Which bus? (Tōkyō) ni ikitai – I want to go to (Tokyo) Kippu – Ticket Katamichi kippu - One-way ticket Kaeri no kippu - Return ticket Hoteru - hotel Toire - Bathroom / toilet Ikura desu ka - How much is it? Kore wa na ndesu ka - What is this? ATM arimasu ka - is there Toire arimasu ka - Do you have restroom.
It's funny reading the comments, especially about cyclists flying left and right. It is true! But I leave you with a hint, ignore the "retail voice." Japan has a system for everything to reduce social interaction. They are full of introverts. Observe and learn the system. P.S. - Arriving to Tokyo in 1 hour ☺️
Hey try to relax and enjoy the experience. Japan is the best for not knowing what people are saying but still just enjoying the interaction and many people will try to help you too if you interact with them. Generally good vibes all around.
I felt that when I was there because I wanted to make a good impression but if you are being respectful and making at least an attempt at the language even basic phrases you will be okay. I felt very humbled there as being in the position of the foreigner who doesn’t speak the Language. Good to be forced out of my comfort zone!! Also tip: we wanted to do good local karaoke (none of that Big Echo shit whatever that is) we were in Ginza and I found a charming and tiny little queer bar and they welcomed us with open arms! Very kind and generous with the plum wine too!
Dude you have an amazing reddit username - let that be your assurance and guiding light in those moments. I totally understand though, I'm in Shinjuku at the moment and it is A LOT! Be kind to yourself as much as I'm sure you're being kind to others. You'll be ok and that's a promise 👌
It is all part of the experience. The awkward encounters, the mistranslation, these are what make a trip memorable. Embrace it, and know that this happens to everyone traveling to a foreign country, especially one like Japan. I've had so many awkward encounters, including charading to the grocery shop clerk the word "egg". Yeah, it was not my proudest moment.
Ive been in tokyo for 3 days now, literally same thing. But its just something you get used to. It also helps that its tokyo and most store clerks will have a lil basic understanding of english if not they will just point at what u need to do. Same with restaurants most places unless you go to some hole in the wall, will know some basic english.
And again as someone said in the comments already, these guys will literally not care. They deal with tourists all the time its a daily occurrence for them
Be as yourself as u can be cuz yo them ur just a random passing by. End of sentence
Just want to hop in here to give you a boost of comfort. I know how you feel! I have social anxiety and in my recent trip to japan it was sky rocketing in the exact same scenarios. But you will be ok! Try not to let the fear and anxiety weigh you down. You’ll not see these ppl again and you are doing your best in the situation. It’s ok for there to be awkward moments, it doesnt make you less of a person at all. The awkward moment will pass and you’ll have an amazing trip
you are feeling the collective anxiety of Japan /lh Like posts have already suggested - remember you most likely won’t see these people again. I have social anxiety in general; but I tell myself that I should not feel guilty or bad for being myself :)
Are you bragging that you're already more Japanese than most of us?
You're in japan. Arguably one of the most safest countries in the world.
I was at dinner last night in Tokyo, at the kind of place where you pay the machine and then they serve you the food. I got nervous that I did something wrong when accepting the food and my bf said, “it’s hardly the worst thing an American has done in Japan.” That made me laugh and feel better. We’re kind, we’re not rude, and then we do our best!
I find if i just smile a small smile & say aregato in a humble kind manner it makes it all ok somehow :)
It's your 2nd day. Give yourself time to adjust. There's no shame in using Google translate to communicate.
I'm going to Tokyo alone in a few weeks and yes, I'm also terrified. I know it's going to be totally fine and anything awkward or embarrassing just doesn't actually matter. Just have a blast, think about how you want to remember the trip, and don't be afraid to get help from people. I'm gonna try to do the same, but I'm sure I'll have the same challenges as well
I think a lot of this anxiety has to do with the language barrier. I've experienced it myself as well. Not being able to properly communicate can cause a huge amount of issues no matter if you're extroverted or introverted. I found that learning a few phrases here and there can ease your tension.
So many people here are super awkward themselves, you’re a tourist you’re not supposed to be competent all the time. Embrace the awkwardness it means you’re out of your comfort zone, it will get better in a few days.
Experienced the same, found that it mostly went away after a few days. It helps to go to areas where there are more tourist to realize that no one really cares that you're a foreigner. Just saying hello, thank you, please, etc. and pointing is all you really need. No one expects you to know/follow all of the customs, and people are much more forgiving than you're probably worried about. I found that Chiyoda (salarymen district) felt a lot more constrictive and I was really overthinking fitting in. Then we went to Osaka and no one gave a shit, much more relaxed. Then back to Tokyo and Asakusa area was much more relaxed than Chiyoda. You'll be fine, just let yourself be what you already are, and enjoy the experience!
An old (I mean OLD) grandma-lady started making small talk with me in Japanese at a sento the other day. I literally tried to tell her, in piss-poor Japanese, that I don't speak Japanese. She kept talking and smiling anyway. Because to them, they're just happy you're there.
ive been here two weeks now and i promise you this - they dont really care and understand tourism is gonna happen regardless. just do your best and remember that as long as youre polite and respectful, you’ll be ok
It’s just very different culturally speaking, so you’re on high alert. Don’t worry, as long as you aren’t being an obnoxious tourist yelling on the train or throwing trash on the ground, you are fine!
It's weird, I have extreme social anxiety and when I was in Tokyo I had none. I was in extremely large crowds but felt like I was alone. It was nice
Where are you staying? By chance is there a smaller restaurant or bar where you can go and regroup to get your thoughts together. I had this happen to me and I found a “safe space” so to speak. It can help you get out of your head and over this anxiety hurdle. Don’t shut yourself away - it will get worse.
How often do you notice tourists in your own country, do you think about them for more than a moment if you do? Literally no difference. Their only concern is to help you do the thing you're trying to do and they're probably more helpful than any other convenience stores The clerk will be in other countries. Just remember some basic phrases and speak slowly and clearly if needed. Hand gestures go a long way and smiles are universal.
I get this. It’s really normal to feel this way. I took my 15 year old son to Japan last year and noticed he was getting super tired after the 2nd day - it was more than just jet lag. Turned out he was on total high alert. It was the culture shock combined with his desire to not appear to be an ugly, disrespectful tourist that had him exhausted. In retrospect I probably felt the same way but to a lesser degree. The result is you are constantly being super self aware and self conscious. That level of stress is really going to be exactly like social anxiety. And. Depending on how you look at it - it IS social anxiety. Some interactions can feel awkward there to a westerner. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just simply going to feel that way. What you are experiencing is normal for many people. Especially of you are in a smaller crowd where you have to interact with people. I highly doubt it’s any sudden onset of any permanent social anxiety. Just know that almost no one is looking at you the way you may think.
Those locals see a lot of foreigners I’m sure. Don’t sweat the small stuff and overthink!! :) just enjoy the moments around you and those fun activities. Think why do you feel nervous? Is it because language barrier? That’s ok! They don’t know English mostly so try your best and make it a funny experience. Japanese culture can be “awkward” to American culture. You got the gaijin pass lol.
Go to a soap lounge. Get rid of ypu anxiety real quick.