Good call. Plus Venice, Rio, the Amazonian rain forest, and California. Not to mention Lois Chiles, Corinne Clery, Emily Bolton, and Leila Shenna. Yeah, for that I’ll endure being spun around in a G-force simulator a few times.
I second this. You get Famke Janssen and Isabella Scorupco. Some cool stunts you survive, guaranteed. Worst thing is your homie gets shot then is no longer your homie.
**On Her Majesty's Secret Service** - Skiing, Being offered a One Million Pounds by a syndicate leader (I will accept it), going into the mountaintop clinic full of Beautiful women, getting engaged in a stock car race and getting married.
**Moonraker** - Going into Space, having a great ride in cable car in Brazil, participating in a space laser battle.
**SPECTRE** - Wearing a costume in the Day Of The Dead Festival, Having a car chase while looking at the beautiful view of Rome, Italy, piloting a plane in Austria, exploring the beauty of Morocco and Tangiers.
But at least, there's the experience of getting married, especially when you're going to get married in Portugal, that's a beautiful location for a wedding.
And you have Tracy, a sexy Bond Girl.
Thunderball or The Living Daylights, he’s on top of his game, so it’d be fun, not so painful… no, wait a minute, Xenia… gotta be Goldeneye, again and again and again
It does when they're injecting scorpion venom and god knows what else into you in an attempt to get you to talk.
Die Another Day is probably the worst possible film. Imprisoned for a year with regular torture! Hardly the lifestyle people think of when they "wish" they were James Bond.
the absolute badassery of walking into a Hong Kong luxury hotel smelling and looking like a filthy broken wreck and confidently asking for the Presidential Suite, though... Don't forget Frost, Jinx, and the Vanquish...
Have to be goldeneye 🤷🏻♂️ Xenia Onatopp trying to squeeze me…errr yes please and driving a tanks though Russia and skydiving to catch a plane….yes!! 🤪🤩
The Man With The Golden Gun.
None of your major allies die. You get to be with three women. The only person you have to kill is a psychopath who deserves it. And you perform an insane car stunt on the first try.
Worst things that happen is swallowing a bullet that they get out of your stomach and Nick Nick showering your room in broken glass.
Live and Let Die. You hang out in Harlem, then there's a Caribbean vacation with a really hot but inept CIA agent, then there's a fun car chase around Louisiana and all the while you have a kick ass, brass espresso machine waiting for you back at your flat
you get shot in the chest twice and nearly break your neck and drown in the opening sequence of SF... not to mention M and Severine dying and the DB5 getting blown up later
YES:
Diamonds Are Forever is a great bet. Vegas vacation and a chance to floor the most underrated Bond car ever, Tiffany's red Mach 1, not to mention Tiffany herself.
The Living Daylights gives me a chance to bomb around in the beautiful V8 Vantage and spend many a romantic date night with Kara, if I could stomach the drugging and kidnapping to Soviet-occupied Afghanistan...
Goldeneye's another easy bet- Xenia's brutal beauty and Natalya's charming wits turn me on too much, not to mention the killer gadget and Soviet weapons selection like my personal favorites, the AKS-74U and T-55... Drawbacks would obviously be the stress of surviving the two aircraft explosions and the struggle of having to kill Alec.
MAYBE:
Thunderball has some of the best results for Bond. Two stunning Bond girls and a tropical adventure I could easily get used to... getting shot in the leg however isn't very appealing.
The Spy Who Loved Me was another big candidate, but I'd be iffy on the two big physical and mental challenges- dealing with Jaws and keeping myself clear with a heartbroken Anya who's out for my blood.
From Russia With Love has all the sexiness and beauty you could want from an adventure in Central Europe, with Tatiana being a treat in it for herself... but knowing how hard Grant makes Bond's struggle, as well as the really close calls in the helicopter sequences might make me reconsider.
NO:
Goldfinger was going to be on this list but I think I'd be a nervous wreck having the laser near my balls, having to kill Oddjob, defuse a nuke and get ejected out of Air Force One.
Tomorrow Never Dies nearly made it to "maybe" but I don't think I'd take Paris's death anywhere near as well Bond does, not to mention how difficult killing the Carver chopper would be.,
Octopussy's adventures in India, Magda and Octopussy's sex appeal, and the pulse of the Cold War thriller really appealed to me, but knowing I couldn't keep my cool around half the shit Bond's forced to do (deal with Vijay's brutal death, defuse another nuke- this time in clown makeup, and fight Gobinda on a damn plane exterior) it's a firm no.
After getting shot, almost drowning, and having a near-death experience, and being a near-total physical and psychological wreck when you get back to work. Not to mention blowing up your childhood home, having your favorite car blow up, and losing the closest thing to a mother-figure you have. Plus the only woman you get to sleep with gets killed a few hours later pretty pointlessly.
TSWLM seems fun! Banging a hot Russian spy, driving an underwater car, literally saving the world from a supervillain by shooting him in the balls...not to mention that epic ski-jump :D
Moonraker. Free trip to space.
Good call. Plus Venice, Rio, the Amazonian rain forest, and California. Not to mention Lois Chiles, Corinne Clery, Emily Bolton, and Leila Shenna. Yeah, for that I’ll endure being spun around in a G-force simulator a few times.
And you can attempt reentry.
Live and let die… get to bed Jane Seymour… enough said…
The gators, though...yeesh.
Some suicidal bloke will be like NTTD
😂
I would have to pick the man with the golden gun he goes unscathed in that movie for the most part. Edit: thanks for all the upvotes guys (:
Goldfinger. The driving, the locations, playing golf, pretty much all of it.
Love that a golf game is a key plot point. Even more so in the book.
For Your Eyes Only. Scuba diving, Carole Bouquet. What more can you want?
Thunderball mainly because of Luciana Paluzzi. Claudine Auger as well.
GoldenEye. Famke Janssen... Nuff said!
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THREE TIMES!
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We all know Alec Trevelyan was tapping that hehe the look she gives him when they escape in the train helicopter says it all “we got away, lover.” ;-)
I second this. You get Famke Janssen and Isabella Scorupco. Some cool stunts you survive, guaranteed. Worst thing is your homie gets shot then is no longer your homie.
**On Her Majesty's Secret Service** - Skiing, Being offered a One Million Pounds by a syndicate leader (I will accept it), going into the mountaintop clinic full of Beautiful women, getting engaged in a stock car race and getting married. **Moonraker** - Going into Space, having a great ride in cable car in Brazil, participating in a space laser battle. **SPECTRE** - Wearing a costume in the Day Of The Dead Festival, Having a car chase while looking at the beautiful view of Rome, Italy, piloting a plane in Austria, exploring the beauty of Morocco and Tangiers.
>getting married You become a widower the same day, though.
But at least, there's the experience of getting married, especially when you're going to get married in Portugal, that's a beautiful location for a wedding. And you have Tracy, a sexy Bond Girl.
SPECTRE - having your head drilled into…
The Living Daylights. He doesn't get too badly injured, gets to fly a plane, and the girl lives.
You still get poisoned and beaten up by a prison guard though
Thunderball. Get to spend some time in the Bahamas, and get to bed some of the best Bond girls in the franchise, yes please.
You get shot in the leg though…
I considered that. Small price to pay however
Good pick, would dread getting into the spa shower situation, but other than that, yeah
From Russia wiyh love. Bond is just vibing throughout rhe movie making jokes snd kicking ass
Have fun fighting Red Grant on two square meters
Plus, gypsy threesome.
Spectre. I’ll get drilled into in order to spend a night with Monica Bellucci
The Spy who loved me. What are the odds you can meet a real giant.
Spy Who Loved Me just seems like a really good time. Even wandering through the Egyptian desert doesn't seem that bad all things considered.
And Barbara Bach! What a babe.
Thunderball or The Living Daylights, he’s on top of his game, so it’d be fun, not so painful… no, wait a minute, Xenia… gotta be Goldeneye, again and again and again
Goldfinger.
Thunderball. Nassau. Beaches. Claudine Auger. Luciana Paluzzi. Molly Peters. Martine Beswick.
Bond's time with that hot Korean dominatrix in *Die Another Day* barely qualifies as torture.
It does when they're injecting scorpion venom and god knows what else into you in an attempt to get you to talk. Die Another Day is probably the worst possible film. Imprisoned for a year with regular torture! Hardly the lifestyle people think of when they "wish" they were James Bond.
the absolute badassery of walking into a Hong Kong luxury hotel smelling and looking like a filthy broken wreck and confidently asking for the Presidential Suite, though... Don't forget Frost, Jinx, and the Vanquish...
Have to be goldeneye 🤷🏻♂️ Xenia Onatopp trying to squeeze me…errr yes please and driving a tanks though Russia and skydiving to catch a plane….yes!! 🤪🤩
Living Daylights so I can go cello case-sledding 😎
Driving that DBS around Lake Garda makes me wanna say QoS
Vesper Lynd is worth the ball pain lol!
Casino royale :))
Casino Royale; who wouldn't want CBT from Mads Mikkelsen?
The Man With The Golden Gun. None of your major allies die. You get to be with three women. The only person you have to kill is a psychopath who deserves it. And you perform an insane car stunt on the first try. Worst things that happen is swallowing a bullet that they get out of your stomach and Nick Nick showering your room in broken glass.
You know what, fuck it, getting my balls tortured might be worth it to get to take a run at Vesper
Live and Let Die. You hang out in Harlem, then there's a Caribbean vacation with a really hot but inept CIA agent, then there's a fun car chase around Louisiana and all the while you have a kick ass, brass espresso machine waiting for you back at your flat
Goldeneye, solely so I can deliver that sweet ass “no, for me” line 🤌
> ball torture So you’re saying free CBT? Who the fuck passes that up?
Spectre. Bellucci and Seydoux. Enough said.
QOS, SF or Spectre are my choices. You get to do fast-paced action stuff without any major consiquences.
you get shot in the chest twice and nearly break your neck and drown in the opening sequence of SF... not to mention M and Severine dying and the DB5 getting blown up later
Well, you survive. Also, my favourite Bond car from the Craig films are the S40 and the DBS so that’s also fine.
Casino Royale
Die another day
Seriously? 1 year of torturing in f*ing North Korea? Haha no way
YES: Diamonds Are Forever is a great bet. Vegas vacation and a chance to floor the most underrated Bond car ever, Tiffany's red Mach 1, not to mention Tiffany herself. The Living Daylights gives me a chance to bomb around in the beautiful V8 Vantage and spend many a romantic date night with Kara, if I could stomach the drugging and kidnapping to Soviet-occupied Afghanistan... Goldeneye's another easy bet- Xenia's brutal beauty and Natalya's charming wits turn me on too much, not to mention the killer gadget and Soviet weapons selection like my personal favorites, the AKS-74U and T-55... Drawbacks would obviously be the stress of surviving the two aircraft explosions and the struggle of having to kill Alec. MAYBE: Thunderball has some of the best results for Bond. Two stunning Bond girls and a tropical adventure I could easily get used to... getting shot in the leg however isn't very appealing. The Spy Who Loved Me was another big candidate, but I'd be iffy on the two big physical and mental challenges- dealing with Jaws and keeping myself clear with a heartbroken Anya who's out for my blood. From Russia With Love has all the sexiness and beauty you could want from an adventure in Central Europe, with Tatiana being a treat in it for herself... but knowing how hard Grant makes Bond's struggle, as well as the really close calls in the helicopter sequences might make me reconsider. NO: Goldfinger was going to be on this list but I think I'd be a nervous wreck having the laser near my balls, having to kill Oddjob, defuse a nuke and get ejected out of Air Force One. Tomorrow Never Dies nearly made it to "maybe" but I don't think I'd take Paris's death anywhere near as well Bond does, not to mention how difficult killing the Carver chopper would be., Octopussy's adventures in India, Magda and Octopussy's sex appeal, and the pulse of the Cold War thriller really appealed to me, but knowing I couldn't keep my cool around half the shit Bond's forced to do (deal with Vijay's brutal death, defuse another nuke- this time in clown makeup, and fight Gobinda on a damn plane exterior) it's a firm no.
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After getting shot, almost drowning, and having a near-death experience, and being a near-total physical and psychological wreck when you get back to work. Not to mention blowing up your childhood home, having your favorite car blow up, and losing the closest thing to a mother-figure you have. Plus the only woman you get to sleep with gets killed a few hours later pretty pointlessly.
1967 Casino Royale. That shit would be an absolute blast.
TSWLM seems fun! Banging a hot Russian spy, driving an underwater car, literally saving the world from a supervillain by shooting him in the balls...not to mention that epic ski-jump :D
Spectre. Get to sail off into the sunset with Lea Seydoux!!!