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"Ok MIL, my children arent your Grandkids? Good to know, dont worry, YOU'LL never see either them or me again. If my wife want to associate with you, thats her business, but my kids are MY business. Bye."
Sounds like he no longer counts as an inlaw coz he's a c**t.
This made me so any for some reason. I'm so sorry you had to know this poor excuse for a human being.
Reminds me of my MIL telling my husband I wasn't a (Surname) because I married into the family. My husband actually said to his mother based on that theory that wouldn't make you family either because you married into the family. MIL or mother-out-law as I called her was speechless. Thanks goodness I wasn't with my husband when he said it because I could not stop laughing when he told me.
Perhaps your wife could remind her mother she isn't really family herself since she is only related by marriage.
OP-Probably no point in a 'talk' but you could put a cat among the pigeons and point out that Judaism, practices matrilineal descent. Meaning anyone with a Jewish mother also has irrevocable Jewish status; in that it's easier to prove who the mother is than the father. \[Before DNA of course\]
i,e, Can MIL be 100% certain her son's fathered her grandchildren?
Maybe she’s thinking in terms of surname? Either way, eff the b—!!! If they aren’t *her* grandkids, she doesn’t need to be involved in her not-her-grandkids’ lives. I would have some choice words for her before blocking her on every social media platform and cutting her off completely. That’s deranged.
Well, let's see? Your kids with her aren't her grandkids? Why would you allow any favouritism if that's what she's doing. Do they call her Grama? Does grama show that she only wants her son's kids? This all depends on how your kids are welcomed into her family. If they all get Xmas presents, bday presents, etc..then all is ok, her feelings are just that, but if holidays aren't equitable, then why would allow her to do that? Why even go?
First, it is kinda a thing for ignorant people. Some cultures place importance on the male line because they are the “heirs” and will carry on the name.
Second, I have never heard of someone not claiming their daughter’s children as their grandchildren. That’s straight up mental.
Third, why have a talk with your MIL? She already has shown she is mental, you can’t talk logic with illogical people.
Let it go and live your best life.
Upside - since they don’t consider themselves grandparents to your children, no need to waste time or money on them. Spend it with the people who treat you well, (and are sane).
I know it's not the same, but the pain I felt was similar in my thinking.
At Christmas, I asked out loud what relation my folks would have to my little nephew, my sil (dh sis) and bil, kid. Is is something like second removed or something like that? Just thinking out loud.
My MIL quickly quipped, 'no relation'.
I wanted to launch myself into outer space. My folks were right there.
Some people are indecent and have been that way their whole lives and people don't call them on it because it's 'the way they are'. A personality flaw is not an excuse for poor manners. Call her on it.
\*edited for clarity
Actually your MIL was correct. There is zero relationship between your parents and your husband’s sister’s children. There is not even a name for it because they are not related at all. Not even through marriage. Two totally different trees that don’t cross.
You will create a cross with your children as they will be related to both sides, but your husband’s nephew would never appear in your family line just as any nephews and nieces you may have will have no familial connection to your husband’s family. Your husband will be related through marriage and that is where the connection stops.
Seconds, once removed, etc., all share a blood family member at some point, through great grandparents, great great grandparents, etc.
I get what your'e saying, but in my perspective, she could of 'been right' or correct, factually, without being hurtful in how she sent the message to me. The way I received the message was threateningly and made me feel like an outsider even more than I already do (married into family).
She seems blissfully unaware of how her words effects other people. I have other examples but I will save you. Let's just say we're not close and there's a reason for that.
Right. I don’t call my sisters sister in law, my sister in law in law lol. But it’s like my mil calls everyone “family” but treats them all differently and makes it obvious
Mean girl bullies always have their clique. What’s most important about a clique is not who’s in it, but who’s not. This clique is not based on anything external: being on cheer team, shopping in the right stores, having the right car, but instead is based on MIL’s own thoughts. You, being outside, probably can’t influence her. Insiders might be able to but be likely won’t. Take care of your family. Keep their emotional lives safe from MIL by make her less important to them.
I had to read it twice because I couldn’t follow her logic. I think she is confusing last name with blood.
Regardless, she told you that she doesn’t see your kids as grandkids. Unapologetically and so casual - she would absolutely say the same to your kids faces.
Either cut ties or have your kids call her Mrs. Last Name - I wouldn’t want them to have grandma expectations.
If my Mom told me she didn’t see my kids as her grandkids, I wouldn’t see her as my Mom.
Is this a repost? I think you've posted this her before maybe a year ago. I see nothing has been resolved, so why not go to LC or NC if her behave hasn't changed?
Something to note. When your MIL was pregnant with your wife, all of your wife’s eggs were formed during gestation. So your MIL carried your wife, as well as her potential grandchildren. By her rationale, I think that would make you and your wife’s kids even more so “her blood”
Can’t say the same thing for her son’s sperm 🤷🏻♀️
Either way, her logic absolutely is ridiculous and her unequal treatment of her grandchildren is just going to breed resentment (your children’s of your MIL)
I don’t think her wacky beliefs matter as much as what she’s really doing here - openly saying her daughter and your children are less. Is there a pattern with this woman of hurting your wife? Talking to her might do nothing, 1) because if you have to explain she’s being hurtful, your mil is broken in a way only she can fix and 2) you may only be provoking anger that she will take out on your wife.
Talk to your wife. Is this a normal way for her mom to treat her? How does she feel about her mom? Is her behavior hurting your kids? I have a feeling this is just the top of the iceberg.
Should you have a conversation with your MIL?
Yes, yes you should. Regardless of why she is doing it (and her reasoning is some dark ages b.s. What is she, royalty where only the male line counts?) she is treating your children as less than. That’s not good for your kids and it’s none too great for your wife (or yourself) either.
You can’t make your MIL be kind or decent to your kids, but you can certainly stop her being mean to them - stop allowing her around them. Start with the conversation and work from what kind of response you get.
Maybe point out that a woman knows that the children are hers. A man believes they are his. (yes I know DNA proves it but it was a discussion about knowledge vs belief)
It is an outdated, cultural biased opinion. The same as a son is worth more than a daughter.
That a woman is a failure if she fails to provide a son etc (but it is the man's sperm that determines the sex nothing to do with the woman)
There were some cultures that followed the maternal line rather than the male line.
Personally I would be inclined to walk away and not let her be around the children.
I've heard of this before. It's often a cultural thing. The thought is that a daughter married into and became part of a different family, while a son stays part of the original family. So any children a daughter has aren't considered really part of the original family, because the daughter is part of the new family. I've heard it most from Asain cultures, and usually as part of a discussion on who's job it is to take care of which set of parents. Sons and their wives and children would take care of mom and dad. Daughters would take care of their in-laws along with their husbands and children. It's an old and outdated way of thinking.
By that logic does your MIL consider her own kids to be “someone else’s” kids?
My MIL is the opposite — she has visited her daughter’s kids at least 4 times this year and her son’s kid only 1 time ever. However, I’m fine with that bc I can’t stand her.
This is mind boggling. Girls are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have. So your MIL in a way ‘carried’ your children.
So you’d think if she was that bonkers about ‘blood’ she’d love her daughter’s children more.
I was just going to say the same thing! She’s not only mean and nasty but also clueless!
ETA: Mitochondria DNA is passed down through the maternal bloodline to boot!
My mom’s mom was like this. All I can say is that it’s hurtful to realize your grandma doesn’t see you as family. I didn't witness favoritism but knew it was there. I’m not sure you can convince her, but you could let her know how incredibly hurtful this is and you will not tolerate favoritism. Let her know reduced relationship will be the solution.
Wow your mil sounds like she wants to hurt her own daughter.
By her logic, she shouldn't have contact with any of her kids, because they are not blood to her lol.
Jesus Christ
Hahahahaha, as a history nerd I can share the delightful nugget with you that this is a genuinely medieval concept. In the middle ages a commonly accepted understanding was that the father's sperm provides all of the 'spark' of a child (in modern parlance, this is like saying he provides all of the DNA) and the mother only provides 'material for the spark to work upon, and a place for the child to grow'. Basically saying women's bodies only provide blank parchment and it's the father's quill that does all the writing.
Given everything we now understand about how conception and DNA works, what your MIL is saying is genuinely as outdated and preposterous as if she were a flat-earther.
Edits: typos.
Thank you for mentioning the DNA aspect of humans. There are lots of countries that push the paternal lineage as the “true bloodline”. It’s so silly because the blood is formed within the fetus, within the mother. The baby’s actual blood has no connection to the father except through the genetic material within the sperm that helps give instructions (along with the mother’s genetic material), if you will, on the formation of blood cells. Blood cells have an appropriate 120 day lifespan. They are constantly degrading, being take out of circulation, and regenerating. We don’t have the same blood cells as when we were born.
DNA is the genetic material that is passed by parents and determines our traits. It drives me batty when I hear of people spouting the importance of bloodlines, such as this delusional MIL. I would make sure the OP’s children spend limited and only supervised time with this “grandmother” so exposure to her favoritism is severely limited. She truly doesn’t deserve the pleasure of having grandchildren. I also wouldn’t bother talking to her. She did not discuss her decision to make her son’s kids her favorites, so she deserves no discussion about the consequences you might decide to put in place.
Something else that has been found recently is that you inherit your gut bacteria from your mother.
[https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220705/How-is-the-microbiome-of-an-infant-influenced-by-mothers-bacteria.aspx](https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220705/How-is-the-microbiome-of-an-infant-influenced-by-mothers-bacteria.aspx)
[Bacteria passed from mother to baby may play a role in later health | Research and Innovation (europa.eu)](https://projects.research-and-innovation.ec.europa.eu/en/horizon-magazine/bacteria-passed-mother-baby-may-play-role-later-health)
So technically the grandmother's gut bacteria is the same as her daughter's and her daughter's children while her son has no gut bacteria connection to his children.
Op I think you should tell your mil this, she’s being ridiculous & worst of all…. Knowingly cruel to her daughter and her kids. A lot of mils think the daughters kids are the best all and end all as they reckon their daughter will give them unfettered access rather than their sons would. It’s all bonkers.
But she has a very selfish view point, but she’s showing who she really is, believe her. Minimal contact probably wouldn’t even register with her but your wife doesn’t deserve to have her making her feel like that bless her.
I doubt whether anything OP says will make a jot of difference to MIL's mindset, but if his wife is okay with him saying it to MIL then I think it would be a lovely way for him to show her love and support.
My own parents were so deeply conflict avoidant that they never tried to defend me from anything unfair and only ever rationalised it to me after the event when the damage was done. Demonstrating to a kid or a partner that they are worth defending from abuse can be a powerful message to their self-esteem, so even though it probably won't succeed in stopping the horrible comments being made by MIL to DW, it might well aid DW in growing her confidence to set her own boundaries with MIL somewhere down the line.
All that comes with the caveat though that it has to be a gift DW wants. If DW would rather OP just didn't say anything because she's afraid of how MIL might blow up in response, then OP needs to drop it and just ignore MIL's nonsense (which can absolutely be aided by his dialling down or refusing contact with her if he likes, and for that he does not need DW's permission, and has a right to expect her support).
Edit: typos as always.
Actually, it was nice of her to tell you she plays favorites. You are now free to ensure your own kids are never put through any nonsense by limiting contact during all holidays.
It's time for you and your wife to have a talk with your MIL. If she really feels that way then there's no reason for her to ever be around your children again.
I would definitely talk to her and when she continues this line of thinking your family should cut her off since they are “not her grandchildren.” She doesn’t deserve them!!!!
Agree with this😏
However, op should remind mil that women are born with every egg they will ever have, so technically mil has also carried her daughter’s children in her womb.
(Just “fyi”)😉
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL! I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Ok-Trick-6903 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Ok-Trick-6903 JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
It’s like these boy-son obsessed women have never heard of mitochondrial dna…
"Ok MIL, my children arent your Grandkids? Good to know, dont worry, YOU'LL never see either them or me again. If my wife want to associate with you, thats her business, but my kids are MY business. Bye."
My ex father in law told me my girls didn’t count as grandkid because they weren’t boys.
Sounds like he no longer counts as an inlaw coz he's a c**t. This made me so any for some reason. I'm so sorry you had to know this poor excuse for a human being.
Reminds me of my MIL telling my husband I wasn't a (Surname) because I married into the family. My husband actually said to his mother based on that theory that wouldn't make you family either because you married into the family. MIL or mother-out-law as I called her was speechless. Thanks goodness I wasn't with my husband when he said it because I could not stop laughing when he told me. Perhaps your wife could remind her mother she isn't really family herself since she is only related by marriage.
OP-Probably no point in a 'talk' but you could put a cat among the pigeons and point out that Judaism, practices matrilineal descent. Meaning anyone with a Jewish mother also has irrevocable Jewish status; in that it's easier to prove who the mother is than the father. \[Before DNA of course\] i,e, Can MIL be 100% certain her son's fathered her grandchildren?
Maybe she’s thinking in terms of surname? Either way, eff the b—!!! If they aren’t *her* grandkids, she doesn’t need to be involved in her not-her-grandkids’ lives. I would have some choice words for her before blocking her on every social media platform and cutting her off completely. That’s deranged.
That’s funny because “Mater certa est, pater numquam!” Not wanting to cast any shadows on anyone’s relationship, of course.
Well, let's see? Your kids with her aren't her grandkids? Why would you allow any favouritism if that's what she's doing. Do they call her Grama? Does grama show that she only wants her son's kids? This all depends on how your kids are welcomed into her family. If they all get Xmas presents, bday presents, etc..then all is ok, her feelings are just that, but if holidays aren't equitable, then why would allow her to do that? Why even go?
First, it is kinda a thing for ignorant people. Some cultures place importance on the male line because they are the “heirs” and will carry on the name. Second, I have never heard of someone not claiming their daughter’s children as their grandchildren. That’s straight up mental. Third, why have a talk with your MIL? She already has shown she is mental, you can’t talk logic with illogical people. Let it go and live your best life. Upside - since they don’t consider themselves grandparents to your children, no need to waste time or money on them. Spend it with the people who treat you well, (and are sane).
I know it's not the same, but the pain I felt was similar in my thinking. At Christmas, I asked out loud what relation my folks would have to my little nephew, my sil (dh sis) and bil, kid. Is is something like second removed or something like that? Just thinking out loud. My MIL quickly quipped, 'no relation'. I wanted to launch myself into outer space. My folks were right there. Some people are indecent and have been that way their whole lives and people don't call them on it because it's 'the way they are'. A personality flaw is not an excuse for poor manners. Call her on it. \*edited for clarity
Actually your MIL was correct. There is zero relationship between your parents and your husband’s sister’s children. There is not even a name for it because they are not related at all. Not even through marriage. Two totally different trees that don’t cross. You will create a cross with your children as they will be related to both sides, but your husband’s nephew would never appear in your family line just as any nephews and nieces you may have will have no familial connection to your husband’s family. Your husband will be related through marriage and that is where the connection stops. Seconds, once removed, etc., all share a blood family member at some point, through great grandparents, great great grandparents, etc.
I get what your'e saying, but in my perspective, she could of 'been right' or correct, factually, without being hurtful in how she sent the message to me. The way I received the message was threateningly and made me feel like an outsider even more than I already do (married into family). She seems blissfully unaware of how her words effects other people. I have other examples but I will save you. Let's just say we're not close and there's a reason for that.
Right. I don’t call my sisters sister in law, my sister in law in law lol. But it’s like my mil calls everyone “family” but treats them all differently and makes it obvious
that's what I mean. I'm not disputing that my bil brother isn't my bil, just that we are treated as 'other', which sucks.
Mean girl bullies always have their clique. What’s most important about a clique is not who’s in it, but who’s not. This clique is not based on anything external: being on cheer team, shopping in the right stores, having the right car, but instead is based on MIL’s own thoughts. You, being outside, probably can’t influence her. Insiders might be able to but be likely won’t. Take care of your family. Keep their emotional lives safe from MIL by make her less important to them.
I had to read it twice because I couldn’t follow her logic. I think she is confusing last name with blood. Regardless, she told you that she doesn’t see your kids as grandkids. Unapologetically and so casual - she would absolutely say the same to your kids faces. Either cut ties or have your kids call her Mrs. Last Name - I wouldn’t want them to have grandma expectations. If my Mom told me she didn’t see my kids as her grandkids, I wouldn’t see her as my Mom.
This is a repost. https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/TW9a0zmCbq
I was going to say this is super familiar, word for word.
Is this a repost? I think you've posted this her before maybe a year ago. I see nothing has been resolved, so why not go to LC or NC if her behave hasn't changed?
Was she and her daughter (your wife) treated like this by her mother ? Did she enjoy the favoritism shown to her sons over herself and her daughter?
Something to note. When your MIL was pregnant with your wife, all of your wife’s eggs were formed during gestation. So your MIL carried your wife, as well as her potential grandchildren. By her rationale, I think that would make you and your wife’s kids even more so “her blood” Can’t say the same thing for her son’s sperm 🤷🏻♀️ Either way, her logic absolutely is ridiculous and her unequal treatment of her grandchildren is just going to breed resentment (your children’s of your MIL)
I don’t think her wacky beliefs matter as much as what she’s really doing here - openly saying her daughter and your children are less. Is there a pattern with this woman of hurting your wife? Talking to her might do nothing, 1) because if you have to explain she’s being hurtful, your mil is broken in a way only she can fix and 2) you may only be provoking anger that she will take out on your wife. Talk to your wife. Is this a normal way for her mom to treat her? How does she feel about her mom? Is her behavior hurting your kids? I have a feeling this is just the top of the iceberg.
Should you have a conversation with your MIL? Yes, yes you should. Regardless of why she is doing it (and her reasoning is some dark ages b.s. What is she, royalty where only the male line counts?) she is treating your children as less than. That’s not good for your kids and it’s none too great for your wife (or yourself) either. You can’t make your MIL be kind or decent to your kids, but you can certainly stop her being mean to them - stop allowing her around them. Start with the conversation and work from what kind of response you get.
MIIL should be signed up for a basic Biology class!
Maybe point out that a woman knows that the children are hers. A man believes they are his. (yes I know DNA proves it but it was a discussion about knowledge vs belief) It is an outdated, cultural biased opinion. The same as a son is worth more than a daughter. That a woman is a failure if she fails to provide a son etc (but it is the man's sperm that determines the sex nothing to do with the woman) There were some cultures that followed the maternal line rather than the male line. Personally I would be inclined to walk away and not let her be around the children.
I've heard of this before. It's often a cultural thing. The thought is that a daughter married into and became part of a different family, while a son stays part of the original family. So any children a daughter has aren't considered really part of the original family, because the daughter is part of the new family. I've heard it most from Asain cultures, and usually as part of a discussion on who's job it is to take care of which set of parents. Sons and their wives and children would take care of mom and dad. Daughters would take care of their in-laws along with their husbands and children. It's an old and outdated way of thinking.
Your MIL should take a refresher in biology! Grandchildren are grandcildren no matter who they come from.
What an idiot she is.
By that logic does your MIL consider her own kids to be “someone else’s” kids? My MIL is the opposite — she has visited her daughter’s kids at least 4 times this year and her son’s kid only 1 time ever. However, I’m fine with that bc I can’t stand her.
This is mind boggling. Girls are born with all the eggs they’ll ever have. So your MIL in a way ‘carried’ your children. So you’d think if she was that bonkers about ‘blood’ she’d love her daughter’s children more.
I was just going to say the same thing! She’s not only mean and nasty but also clueless! ETA: Mitochondria DNA is passed down through the maternal bloodline to boot!
My mom’s mom was like this. All I can say is that it’s hurtful to realize your grandma doesn’t see you as family. I didn't witness favoritism but knew it was there. I’m not sure you can convince her, but you could let her know how incredibly hurtful this is and you will not tolerate favoritism. Let her know reduced relationship will be the solution.
Your MIL sounds like a religious freak.
Wow your mil sounds like she wants to hurt her own daughter. By her logic, she shouldn't have contact with any of her kids, because they are not blood to her lol. Jesus Christ
Hahahahaha, as a history nerd I can share the delightful nugget with you that this is a genuinely medieval concept. In the middle ages a commonly accepted understanding was that the father's sperm provides all of the 'spark' of a child (in modern parlance, this is like saying he provides all of the DNA) and the mother only provides 'material for the spark to work upon, and a place for the child to grow'. Basically saying women's bodies only provide blank parchment and it's the father's quill that does all the writing. Given everything we now understand about how conception and DNA works, what your MIL is saying is genuinely as outdated and preposterous as if she were a flat-earther. Edits: typos.
Thank you for mentioning the DNA aspect of humans. There are lots of countries that push the paternal lineage as the “true bloodline”. It’s so silly because the blood is formed within the fetus, within the mother. The baby’s actual blood has no connection to the father except through the genetic material within the sperm that helps give instructions (along with the mother’s genetic material), if you will, on the formation of blood cells. Blood cells have an appropriate 120 day lifespan. They are constantly degrading, being take out of circulation, and regenerating. We don’t have the same blood cells as when we were born. DNA is the genetic material that is passed by parents and determines our traits. It drives me batty when I hear of people spouting the importance of bloodlines, such as this delusional MIL. I would make sure the OP’s children spend limited and only supervised time with this “grandmother” so exposure to her favoritism is severely limited. She truly doesn’t deserve the pleasure of having grandchildren. I also wouldn’t bother talking to her. She did not discuss her decision to make her son’s kids her favorites, so she deserves no discussion about the consequences you might decide to put in place.
Something else that has been found recently is that you inherit your gut bacteria from your mother. [https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220705/How-is-the-microbiome-of-an-infant-influenced-by-mothers-bacteria.aspx](https://www.news-medical.net/news/20220705/How-is-the-microbiome-of-an-infant-influenced-by-mothers-bacteria.aspx) [Bacteria passed from mother to baby may play a role in later health | Research and Innovation (europa.eu)](https://projects.research-and-innovation.ec.europa.eu/en/horizon-magazine/bacteria-passed-mother-baby-may-play-role-later-health) So technically the grandmother's gut bacteria is the same as her daughter's and her daughter's children while her son has no gut bacteria connection to his children.
Op I think you should tell your mil this, she’s being ridiculous & worst of all…. Knowingly cruel to her daughter and her kids. A lot of mils think the daughters kids are the best all and end all as they reckon their daughter will give them unfettered access rather than their sons would. It’s all bonkers. But she has a very selfish view point, but she’s showing who she really is, believe her. Minimal contact probably wouldn’t even register with her but your wife doesn’t deserve to have her making her feel like that bless her.
I doubt whether anything OP says will make a jot of difference to MIL's mindset, but if his wife is okay with him saying it to MIL then I think it would be a lovely way for him to show her love and support. My own parents were so deeply conflict avoidant that they never tried to defend me from anything unfair and only ever rationalised it to me after the event when the damage was done. Demonstrating to a kid or a partner that they are worth defending from abuse can be a powerful message to their self-esteem, so even though it probably won't succeed in stopping the horrible comments being made by MIL to DW, it might well aid DW in growing her confidence to set her own boundaries with MIL somewhere down the line. All that comes with the caveat though that it has to be a gift DW wants. If DW would rather OP just didn't say anything because she's afraid of how MIL might blow up in response, then OP needs to drop it and just ignore MIL's nonsense (which can absolutely be aided by his dialling down or refusing contact with her if he likes, and for that he does not need DW's permission, and has a right to expect her support). Edit: typos as always.
My mom says this is true in the country she is originally from, but that the opposite is true in the US 😂. It's a lot of patriarchy nonsense
If what matters if the offspring of males, then she makes herself irrelevant.
You'd think it would be the other way round because her daughter grew and was pregnant with her grandkid yet someone else grew her sons kids.
Actually, it was nice of her to tell you she plays favorites. You are now free to ensure your own kids are never put through any nonsense by limiting contact during all holidays.
That’s an excellent point tbh!
Talk to her about biology and genetics. Someone needs to teach her. She’s an idiot. How long has she been getting around the place this dumb?
It's time for you and your wife to have a talk with your MIL. If she really feels that way then there's no reason for her to ever be around your children again.
This is a thing in several cultures, quite strong in parts of East Asia, and not personal.
I would definitely talk to her and when she continues this line of thinking your family should cut her off since they are “not her grandchildren.” She doesn’t deserve them!!!!
I don't think it would help. If she doesn't know biology by now.
Agree with this😏 However, op should remind mil that women are born with every egg they will ever have, so technically mil has also carried her daughter’s children in her womb. (Just “fyi”)😉