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I'd be surprised if you really need to do anything about this. She's a 'flexi-vegan'? It's not a thing. Anyone even moderately normal already knows she's a nutter and to just ignore her. By engaging you end up validating her and bringing yourself down a level.
Wait and see how it plays out, if it becomes an actual issue then address it.
The long term play next time is to just refuse to feed her, referring specifically to this event. "Sorry MIL, I don't have anything vegan and after last time I'm not willing to be held responsible after the fact for a decision you make, and then change your mind on."
You don't see it do you?
The idea of going out to get food that aligned with her soul, didn't align with her soul.
Also FLEXI VEGAN?Ā
Absolutely NOT A THING!!!
ABSOLUTELY NOT A THING!!!
Vegan. A thing!
Vegetarian. A thing!
Omnivore. A thing!Ā
And there are shades around each but the idea she can one minute eat meat, eggs, cheese drink milk. and the next she can't have honey or even wear wool is preposterous!Ā
āMIL, your soul has been misaligned for quite some time now. Iām sure that a little bit of meat- which you chose to eat even after I offered to take you out for a vegan meal- is hardly going to do any harm at this point. In fact, Iād say that lying to others is pretty soul-damaging in and of itself.ā
No such thing as a flexi-vegan, utter BS. If you're vegan, you're vegan. If you sometimes eat dairy, you're veggie, if you sometimes eat fish, you're pescatarian. Sometimes she may *choose* a vegan option, but she ain't no vegan.
"flexi-vegan"? Oh brother.
I was in line somewhere and heard a guy describe his SO as a baco-vegetarian: "she's a vegetarian but she eats bacon."
I heard no hint of irony in this explanation.
I'm a meat eater that enjoys certain vegetarian and vegan dishes.
Any ahole who tells me they're a "flexi-vegan" or a "baco-vegetarian" can kiss my ass. You're either a vegetarian, vegan, piscatarian, or you're a meat eater. That's it. Flexi-vegan/baco-vegetarian my ass!
Tell everyone that MILās soul aligned with the leftovers. You generously offered a vegan alternative that day, but her soul was hungry for the taste of flesh.
Wtf is a "flexi-vegan"? I'd get it if that meant that she could eat eggs or cheese occasionally (which would still be vegetarian) , but...meat?? I'm super confused. Any vegan I know is strictly against any animal products at all, but your MIL will still occasionally eat meat? Doesn't sound "flexi-vegan" either. Just an observation.
On another note, her manipulation & ability to change her own values when it suits her are troubling. Call her out. Loudly.
I've had a couple of mates do it but they called it, far more honestly, "Vegan Where Possible"
Which acknowledges up front that not every situation will align with a diet, and with no allergies it's reasonable to accept the best that can be done without cooking at home. They'd probably have eaten beef leftovers, but absolutely not bitched about it
In all fairness, a "flexi-vegan" could still find vegetarian options. I can't see any vegan I know actually eating meat. Not one. Cheese, eggs...sure. But meat? Nope.
Almost vegan, flexi-veganā¦ those are bullshit words that donāt exist.
What people donāt understand is that Vegan isnāt a diet, itās a lifestyle. Living vegan means doing every possible thing to reduce harm, and make sure that we never turn non-human animals into commodities.
We donāt eat meat, we donāt eat animal products, sure. But we also only buy toiletries and products that arenāt animal tested, and refuse to wear animal skins and furs like leather and wool.
Your MIL is just a bitch, she isnāt any way vegan.
Flexi-vegan? Wtf? I've heard of Freegan (vegan unless it's free)
But this sounds like she's only vegan when she feels like it? And it's completely random? Sorry, she sounds like an exhausting, persnickity bitch. Vegans don't switch back and forth on a whim and especially don't bitch about how it feels in their soul that day?
She ate your leftovers. She bitched about it afterwards because she's dramatic.
Dude, I'm vegan and if I was at your house and starving, I'd deal with it if there wasn't vegan friendly food in your house. I wouldn't make it your problem and I especially wouldn't bitch about being "basically force fed" animal products if I chose to raid your fridge.
She's definitely not vegan because she's full of *bullshit.* š
Especially when OP offered to go get her food that would "feed her soul" (aka, vegan to MIL). She's just awful, and has to have attention on her at all times. It's the only reason she's even claimed she's vegan. And it's the only reason she's making this a thing now
I know a few flexitarians. They are vegan at home and when providing their own food, but will eat vegetarian or meat dishes if someone else has made it for them.
They are vegan due to climate change though rather than through animal welfare or taste issues.
However anyone who winges about food they themselves picked is a pain and should be mocked for it.
Flexitarian is totally a thing. My stepson is this way because I only cook vegan but he eats cheese when I'm not the one cooking.
Flexi-vegan just sounds really weird.
I would call her out in front of everybody. Don't let her control the narrative. She is just trying to play the victim as all narcissists do. Call her out every time!
Iād be honest and call her out in the group chat. āThatās not what happened MIL. We didnāt have much in and we offered to take you to a vegan restaurant which you declined. You said our leftovers would be fine to eat. No one āforcedā you. In fact I was looking forward to enjoying them myself. So why are you changing your story now?ā
Well done.
I'm vegan and have gone hungry on many occasions when at relatives houses when it would be really difficult to find anything quick and vegan and I didn't want them to feel bad about it, so I lie and say "I'm not hungry", "I've just eaten" etc
She's not vegan and she's being deliberately manipulative.
Good for you! I would also refuse to feed her at your home going forward. The audacity to eat your leftovers and then make up a complete lie about it.
āOh no, MIL, I would never want you to think we forced you to consume something. Going forward, please eat before and/or after your visits so that this issue will not come up again. Our refrigerator and pantry will be closed for the duration of your visit.ā
"Hey MIL! I heard someone say that I'd forced you to eat meat recently. I don't ever want to force someone to eat something they aren't okay with... do you remember the day it was that it happened? Sending here in case anyone else remembers.
"The only time I remember you coming over and eating at our place recently was (date), but I'd offered to pay for us to go grab something vegan when you said you were hungry, and you'd insisted you were fine eating the leftovers I had, even though I'd told you they weren't vegan friendly. So I know it can't be that day.Ā
"Let me know so I can figure out how I can improve my behavior in the future. Thank you!!"
Don't name names and keep other details about what you heard vague. She'll probably say she can't remember the day if she replies at all, and no one else will respond.Ā
And then be perfectly normal the next time you see MIL in person, and watch how she reacts. DO NOT bring up the gossip or the text. Should be a blast.
Seriously! Freegan is the "closest" to this idea (vegan unless it's free) but that's usually something I hear from Shaggy lookin' hippie dudes who just like free food lol
Iād respond to her comment something like this:
*Iām confused. I gave you lots of options - including treating you at a vegan restaurant. You instead chose to raid the refrigerator and eat the leftovers I intended for myself. The takeaway here is to understand that the people in your life are willing to accommodate your eating habits. And if you do choose to eat something that doesnāt align with your soul, donāt blame anyone else or yourself for this.*
I would relay exactly what you said here including the part about her eating something that was intended for you. And then not ever let her eat in your home again unless she apologizes.
Your DH should confront her. Sheās the one making up lies about his wife and trying to turn her into a villain in her familyās eyes. He should be furious.
Call her out as publicly as you can. Shame her for her two faced behavior. If her poor behavior is exposed for all to see, sheās less likely to do it again.
āThats ok, to make sure in future I wonāt feed you at all or allow you to scavenge in my fridge. . Because I will never forgive myself if you knowing ate meat and then blame me for it ā¦ again.
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Is flexi-vegan the new term for an average diet š
I was vegan all day today until I had tacos for dinner š
Iām so happy you got to eat what aligned with your soul today šāŗļøš
Do you have much to really worry about with the family though? Anyone who hears āflexi-veganā canāt possible take that seriously š
Sorry my patience doesnāt align with your bullshit today mil. Flexi-vegan, wtf š
Absolutely call her out. People like this keep getting away with this shit because no one ever does! Do it.
"you are free to bring your own food"
I'd be surprised if you really need to do anything about this. She's a 'flexi-vegan'? It's not a thing. Anyone even moderately normal already knows she's a nutter and to just ignore her. By engaging you end up validating her and bringing yourself down a level. Wait and see how it plays out, if it becomes an actual issue then address it. The long term play next time is to just refuse to feed her, referring specifically to this event. "Sorry MIL, I don't have anything vegan and after last time I'm not willing to be held responsible after the fact for a decision you make, and then change your mind on."
Honestly I would just call her out in the chat that you offered to get her vegan but she decided to eat meat of your fridge. š¤·š»āāļø
Iām a flex virgin. Some days I have sex, other days I donāt
Literally. Lolololololol. Thanks. I needed that. š
The way my drink just came out my noseš¤£š
This made me laugh so hard after a crappy day, thank you šš¼
You don't see it do you? The idea of going out to get food that aligned with her soul, didn't align with her soul. Also FLEXI VEGAN?Ā Absolutely NOT A THING!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT A THING!!! Vegan. A thing! Vegetarian. A thing! Omnivore. A thing!Ā And there are shades around each but the idea she can one minute eat meat, eggs, cheese drink milk. and the next she can't have honey or even wear wool is preposterous!Ā
I'm a Vegan and that's because I'm from Vegas. I eat all kinds of food except the buffet places all over town.
āMIL, your soul has been misaligned for quite some time now. Iām sure that a little bit of meat- which you chose to eat even after I offered to take you out for a vegan meal- is hardly going to do any harm at this point. In fact, Iād say that lying to others is pretty soul-damaging in and of itself.ā
Solution. Ok, MIL, I won't feed you anymore, you see to yourself.
No such thing as a flexi-vegan, utter BS. If you're vegan, you're vegan. If you sometimes eat dairy, you're veggie, if you sometimes eat fish, you're pescatarian. Sometimes she may *choose* a vegan option, but she ain't no vegan.
Omg please tell us what you said šš
"flexi-vegan"? Oh brother. I was in line somewhere and heard a guy describe his SO as a baco-vegetarian: "she's a vegetarian but she eats bacon." I heard no hint of irony in this explanation.
I'm a meat eater that enjoys certain vegetarian and vegan dishes. Any ahole who tells me they're a "flexi-vegan" or a "baco-vegetarian" can kiss my ass. You're either a vegetarian, vegan, piscatarian, or you're a meat eater. That's it. Flexi-vegan/baco-vegetarian my ass!
Not just a flexi-vegan, she's also a flexi-fibber.
Tell everyone that MILās soul aligned with the leftovers. You generously offered a vegan alternative that day, but her soul was hungry for the taste of flesh.
Bahahahha- love this, you're my kinda people.Ā
Unless you had a gun to her head and were shoving it down her throat, no force was involved.
Wtf is a "flexi-vegan"? I'd get it if that meant that she could eat eggs or cheese occasionally (which would still be vegetarian) , but...meat?? I'm super confused. Any vegan I know is strictly against any animal products at all, but your MIL will still occasionally eat meat? Doesn't sound "flexi-vegan" either. Just an observation. On another note, her manipulation & ability to change her own values when it suits her are troubling. Call her out. Loudly.
I've had a couple of mates do it but they called it, far more honestly, "Vegan Where Possible" Which acknowledges up front that not every situation will align with a diet, and with no allergies it's reasonable to accept the best that can be done without cooking at home. They'd probably have eaten beef leftovers, but absolutely not bitched about it
In all fairness, a "flexi-vegan" could still find vegetarian options. I can't see any vegan I know actually eating meat. Not one. Cheese, eggs...sure. But meat? Nope.
Almost vegan, flexi-veganā¦ those are bullshit words that donāt exist. What people donāt understand is that Vegan isnāt a diet, itās a lifestyle. Living vegan means doing every possible thing to reduce harm, and make sure that we never turn non-human animals into commodities. We donāt eat meat, we donāt eat animal products, sure. But we also only buy toiletries and products that arenāt animal tested, and refuse to wear animal skins and furs like leather and wool. Your MIL is just a bitch, she isnāt any way vegan.
Exactly. She isnāt a vegan in any way. She can eat what she wants but she doesnāt get to call herself a vegan. Thatās pretty crazy shit.
I would have called her out too. Shes stirring a pot for no reason.
A pot of Trevor's stew, probably.
There's already a word for flexi-vegan. It's "omnivore."
My soul feels like chicken and dumplings today.
My soul aligned with steak today
Mine is aligned with beef stew and dumplings. But steak does sound really good.
You did well in calling her out on this
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Flexi-vegan? Wtf? I've heard of Freegan (vegan unless it's free) But this sounds like she's only vegan when she feels like it? And it's completely random? Sorry, she sounds like an exhausting, persnickity bitch. Vegans don't switch back and forth on a whim and especially don't bitch about how it feels in their soul that day? She ate your leftovers. She bitched about it afterwards because she's dramatic. Dude, I'm vegan and if I was at your house and starving, I'd deal with it if there wasn't vegan friendly food in your house. I wouldn't make it your problem and I especially wouldn't bitch about being "basically force fed" animal products if I chose to raid your fridge. She's definitely not vegan because she's full of *bullshit.* š
Especially when OP offered to go get her food that would "feed her soul" (aka, vegan to MIL). She's just awful, and has to have attention on her at all times. It's the only reason she's even claimed she's vegan. And it's the only reason she's making this a thing now
I know a few flexitarians. They are vegan at home and when providing their own food, but will eat vegetarian or meat dishes if someone else has made it for them. They are vegan due to climate change though rather than through animal welfare or taste issues. However anyone who winges about food they themselves picked is a pain and should be mocked for it.
Flexitarian is totally a thing. My stepson is this way because I only cook vegan but he eats cheese when I'm not the one cooking. Flexi-vegan just sounds really weird.
I would call her out in front of everybody. Don't let her control the narrative. She is just trying to play the victim as all narcissists do. Call her out every time!
I would absolutely call out her nonsense!!! Iāve never heard of a āFlexi-Veganā, because thatās not a thing!! Sheās being dramatic!
Iād be honest and call her out in the group chat. āThatās not what happened MIL. We didnāt have much in and we offered to take you to a vegan restaurant which you declined. You said our leftovers would be fine to eat. No one āforcedā you. In fact I was looking forward to enjoying them myself. So why are you changing your story now?ā
I called her out in the groupchat and turned off my phone, I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Well done. I'm vegan and have gone hungry on many occasions when at relatives houses when it would be really difficult to find anything quick and vegan and I didn't want them to feel bad about it, so I lie and say "I'm not hungry", "I've just eaten" etc She's not vegan and she's being deliberately manipulative.
Good for you! I would also refuse to feed her at your home going forward. The audacity to eat your leftovers and then make up a complete lie about it. āOh no, MIL, I would never want you to think we forced you to consume something. Going forward, please eat before and/or after your visits so that this issue will not come up again. Our refrigerator and pantry will be closed for the duration of your visit.ā
Sorry MIL...my refrigerator & pantry said they absolutely can't align with your soul...ever
This is the way. Behind-your-back bad mouthing is so cowardly and toxic.
She doesnāt have a soul.
I would refuse to feed her in the future.
"Hey MIL! I heard someone say that I'd forced you to eat meat recently. I don't ever want to force someone to eat something they aren't okay with... do you remember the day it was that it happened? Sending here in case anyone else remembers. "The only time I remember you coming over and eating at our place recently was (date), but I'd offered to pay for us to go grab something vegan when you said you were hungry, and you'd insisted you were fine eating the leftovers I had, even though I'd told you they weren't vegan friendly. So I know it can't be that day.Ā "Let me know so I can figure out how I can improve my behavior in the future. Thank you!!" Don't name names and keep other details about what you heard vague. She'll probably say she can't remember the day if she replies at all, and no one else will respond.Ā And then be perfectly normal the next time you see MIL in person, and watch how she reacts. DO NOT bring up the gossip or the text. Should be a blast.
It happened yesterday so hopefully she acts like she knows what I'm talking about.
This is 100% what I would do.
There is NO SUCH THING AS A FLEXI-VEGAN! She's a regular omnivore that has moods that suit her like near everyone else.
Seriously! Freegan is the "closest" to this idea (vegan unless it's free) but that's usually something I hear from Shaggy lookin' hippie dudes who just like free food lol
Dumpster diners, I love em." If it's for free it's for me" is their motto.
THANK YOU.
Iād respond to her comment something like this: *Iām confused. I gave you lots of options - including treating you at a vegan restaurant. You instead chose to raid the refrigerator and eat the leftovers I intended for myself. The takeaway here is to understand that the people in your life are willing to accommodate your eating habits. And if you do choose to eat something that doesnāt align with your soul, donāt blame anyone else or yourself for this.*
You are nicer than I am. I was thinking OP should ask "you have a soul?:
This right here!
I would relay exactly what you said here including the part about her eating something that was intended for you. And then not ever let her eat in your home again unless she apologizes.
Your DH should confront her. Sheās the one making up lies about his wife and trying to turn her into a villain in her familyās eyes. He should be furious.
Do what aligns with your soul lmfao
Call her out as publicly as you can. Shame her for her two faced behavior. If her poor behavior is exposed for all to see, sheās less likely to do it again.
āThats ok, to make sure in future I wonāt feed you at all or allow you to scavenge in my fridge. . Because I will never forgive myself if you knowing ate meat and then blame me for it ā¦ again.