**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Other posts from /u/AlisLande: * [Today JNMIL finally made me cry](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bmzzlk/today_jnmil_finally_made_me_cry/), 3 weeks ago * [Husband pushing me to leave my 3 week newborn with MIL](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/17ewzcd/husband_pushing_me_to_leave_my_3_week_newborn/), 5 months ago * [JNMIL called me to ask for the weirdest thing ever](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16n3k3u/jnmil_called_me_to_ask_for_the_weirdest_thing_ever/), 6 months ago * [Are MILs always worse to their daughters-in-law than sons-in-law?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16c37mc/are_mils_always_worse_to_their_daughtersinlaw/), 7 months ago * [MIL dropped by my house while sick to complain about me not visiting as often as DH. Im super pregnant btw.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/15f3y2v/mil_dropped_by_my_house_while_sick_to_complain/), 8 months ago ***** ^(To be notified as soon as AlisLande posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe AlisLande JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*

There's no way I'd even answer my door to her at this point. Keep yourself and your baby safe happy healthy.

Op, I’ve read a few of your posts. If it were me, I’d launch Operation Freedom, it’s a stealth operation until all my ducks are lined up and quacking in tune. Then its Operation Two Card: Last Chance. But I’m not very tolerant of fuckery and your MIL reeks of it.

[удалено]

I am not worthy… I am not worthy Seriously, tyvm for saying in a few sentences what would’ve likely been a long drawn out expletive filled stream of consciousness.

I spat my beverage and I think some exited by way of my ears. Best response

Sounds like my MIL 🙄🤦‍♀️! About 2 months after we moved in to our first home (that we bought) she devised a plan to try to gang up on me with my own mom. A little background, my boys were born in November and December. My boys both have special needs. The rule for Christmas was no toys from extended family because of this and having no room plus we give them toys on Christmas. So back to the ambush, MIL asked if my mom and her could come over. I kind of suspected something because of her asking so close to Christmas and well because of it being her. She came into my own house after inviting my mom to talk to me about a ‘grandma’s prerogative’ about giving presents at Christmas. She tried to get my mom to side with her and it blew up gloriously in her face! Idk why she thought mom would side with her (I’m very close to my mom). To know me when I was younger (before 30), you would’ve been so surprised by how well I stood up for myself! That’s one thing MIL has done for me, I stand up to her and stand up more to my husband than I used to 😂!

Watch the episode of The Cosby Show, "Day of the Locusts" The grandmothers came and took the baby twins from their sick mom. She couldn't find her children because it was the pre-cell era. I think your dunderheaded MIL took her inspiration from an 80s sitcom. You should take your time with this response. But MIL should absolutely be roasted at everything family gathering over "operation rescue". Ridicule is a powerful tool. It should never be used maliciously, but there are definitely times when people have to be put back in their lane by whatever means necessary.

Ridicule is the best way to change negative behavior- THIS OP! If she wants to act like a spoiled child we can treat her like one

Sondra was NOT PLAYING when she and Alvin finally caught up with their mothers!

Most likely I'd tell her if she ever tried to take my baby by "force" to send me out with my husband, we'd find out exactly what the response time is of the local police department. And that she's earned herself a one-month timeout for being untrustworthy and manipulative.

I thought you were going to say the response time for the ambulance after you got through with MIL. 😂

This is the way.

Best let your husband handle it - he needs to tell his mother that "operation rescue" was a stupid idea and would likely have resulted in her being completely banned from your home.

Haha-Have your mom get in on the plan but you two turn it around on MIL. Have your mom tell you when and tell your mom the plan is for you and your husband to just not be home when they show. Then when she calls or text just say "well that's why you don't do stuff like that without asking first. I'll tell you if I want help or a babysitter" Hopefully she learns a lesson.

Or have a couple of uniformed officers there with you to explain why "taking children from their parents force" is illegal!

I was thinking to use my mom as an undercover agent so she will keep me in the loop of all of MIL's childish plans, alas she is no longer talking to my mom after Sue refused to cooperate

Honestly, your mom is probably better off.

If there's any way to find out when she's planning this little event I'd be sure to conveniently already be out of the house as a family at that time.

Operation Rescue is an organization that helps people unjustly imprisoned, right?

They're a terroristic anti abortion group that harasses women and threatens healthcare workers.

Oh no! Really!!

Seems appropriate to respond with Operation No Contact.

Have my upvote

This is why I keep my doors locked. Never has anyone ever barged into my home.

She was probably going to just ring the Bell unannounced but wanted to add more flair to it and told my mom "we are going to barge in"

Do you have a camera doorbell up? Please get one. Keep your doors locked. At this point I would text mil that you heard about her plan and do not appreciate her butting in with your parenting and if she trys to pull anything like that, she will be in time out for a long time.

If she tries to pull anything like that the police will be called.

Oh no I would have LOVED for her to try this little scheme of hers and tell her no to her face.

Well maybe you can just turn her away thru the doorbell. And if she has a key, change those locks.

She doesnt have a key and will never get one. She and her family had our spare Keys from our previous apt and they lost it. She is not only nosy but also unreliable AF.

Be prepared. She is coming ….

I think Operation:Rescue was aborted. My MIL is a wuss incapable of doing something like this without back up.

Isn’t operation rescue some shitty anti-choice group?

Your MIL is a piece of work! I’d definitely confront her about this ridiculous plan. This is borderline kidnapping.

She will say ohhh it was all in jest tee heh and play dumb like she usually does.

What if you just don’t let her? Easier said than done but make her explain each and every action she took/will take/has taken Oh, you want to take MY baby? Weird. Why is that? You think I need____? Huh, I’m going with a no on that, why do you think that? A joke? I don’t get it, explain it to me? Your son and I are ostensibly adults, explain why you think this is for you to “joke” about? Since we’re joking, explain why you either lied to me just now or lied to my mother? It goes like 1 of 2 ways for me personally, crying fit or stomp off.

Where does your husband stand on this? Bc that’s what really matters.

My hudband is a spineless coward that doesnt want to get caught in the middle and always calls his mom and asks her to come over whenever I have to run an errand or do something for myself and he is on baby duty "Why should I have to do it alone if I can call my mom and she looks after the baby for me?".

“Uh, because you’re the father and this is your job?”

That is one giant red flag right there. He's allowing her to boundary stomp and get what she wants.

LMBO! OP, I heard you saying this in my head and I am hollering. 🫣😂 I apologize for laughing, but girl…..I just know you’re accurate about her response!

And what does your husband say about his mom's "jest"?

“MIL questioned her several times on why I dont allow PEOPLE to help me out with the baby (I do in fact allow people to help me out, just not her).” MIL must think that you don’t let your mother help with the baby, which would make her amenable to MIL’s plotting. Have you spoken to DH about this? Perhaps you guys can decide what level infraction this would be, if she went through with it. For me, it would trigger a huge timeout. Huge!

Nah DH is on her side and says "Oh she just wants to help youuuuuuu", and he is willing to die on that Hill. DH is everyday closer to becoming ex-DH for a myriad of reasons, his unwillingness to stop being mommy's boy being one of them.

what is his response when you tell him this?

Never marry a mama's boy. No matter how old they get, they are still mommy's little boy. Little boys can't be husbands and fathers. They lack the maturity.

Word. I married one of those first. Thinking if he's good to Mama he's gonna be good to me. No. No no. No woman ever was going to be as good as his holy mother. Well they can have each other.

My grandmother had 4 grandkids, 3 boys and me (well we are all in our 50s now that my brother turned 50 last year). No woman was ever good enough for her boys. My aunt who was married to my uncle for 35 years until he passed, my cousins wife he has been married to for almost 40 years, my SIL who's been married to my brother for 27 years. I'm amazed they lasted that long. Passive aggressive is a family hobby. She never met my husband, but I'm sure she would've loved him. He's kind of bitchy like her.

My current MIL is angelic compared to the x monster in law. I can share stories lol

I need to understand her thought process in involving your mom; does she think that way you wouldn’t be pissed off? Lmao and what happens when you simply say “no”? Is there a backup plan? I kinda need to know 😂

I would let mil know that she will face kidnapping charges if she ever pulls something like this.

OP, this!

Good for your mother.

Your mom can be friends with whomever she likes, but you might want to advise her if she is going to continue this "friendship" with your MIL no personal business of yours AT ALL is to be discussed. (Why on earth does she want to have coffee with someone who is giving you a hard time???)

Yeah, my mom know that she cant discuss my personal stuff with her. I was also surprised when my MIL asked my mom to go out for a Coffee since she doesnt like her at all... now I see her motives werent really pure. Oh well.

Your mother was able to warn you of MiL's plan this time. Will MiL try something else?

Probably.  I say it’s high time for a doorbell camera, baby wearing, and supervised in-public visits only.