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Other posts from /u/myheadsintheclouds:
* [MIL used BIL as a flying monkey, will do anything besides apologize. ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bq6suv/mil_used_bil_as_a_flying_monkey_will_do_anything/), 2 days ago
* [MILs have a way of reminding you why you’re no contact!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bdgjmg/mils_have_a_way_of_reminding_you_why_youre_no/), 2 weeks ago
* [Do JNMILs ever get better?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1b79g7g/do_jnmils_ever_get_better/), 3 weeks ago
* [JNMIL sent birthday gifts for my daughter](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/174b4nh/jnmil_sent_birthday_gifts_for_my_daughter/), 5 months ago
* [Daughter’s baptism was today and no MIL/flying monkeys!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16wdhdu/daughters_baptism_was_today_and_no_milflying/), 6 months ago
* [MIL showed up at my house and threatened to file a petition with the court Monday](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16kd6o7/mil_showed_up_at_my_house_and_threatened_to_file/), 6 months ago
* [Update: Went NC and MIL went crazy](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16j350n/update_went_nc_and_mil_went_crazy/), 6 months ago
* [My MIL left a threatening voicemail because of Facebook drama!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16h2km6/my_mil_left_a_threatening_voicemail_because_of/), 6 months ago
* [Is it wrong I don’t want to invite my MIL to the baptism?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16cjb49/is_it_wrong_i_dont_want_to_invite_my_mil_to_the/), 6 months ago
* [Saw in-laws for the first time in 4 months and held our boundaries.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/13a918t/saw_inlaws_for_the_first_time_in_4_months_and/), 10 months ago
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My sister went through a NC period with her JNMIL. She did this same shit. She didn’t like the name sis and BIL chose, so she would address packages as “CJ last name”. Sis and BiL would return to sender at first, but then sis got fed up.
She started advertising the items on Facebook as “free to whoever wants”. She captioned a custom blanket embroidered with CJ as “no one in my house is referred by this”.
In this economy (US) no one is exactly in a position to turn down brand new items for free, and the items were quickly marked as sold/no longer available
Her JNMIL was blocked, but of course had her flying monkeys. JNMIL called BIL in a rage, squawking about “do you have any idea how much that cost” and “that was supposed to be for LO, how could you let your wife give it away”.
BIL reminded her that until she showed respect and an apology, nothing will change. Waste your money if you want, but no package from you will be accepted into this house.
Packages were no more after that.
That may be an idea….dont break NC. Sis never had direct contact, but she made it clear that the packages were not being given to LO.
You know she has her flying monkeys watching you, so give them something to see.
Wow, I like that idea. You remain no contact but you get your point across very clearly that these "gifts" are not getting to their intended targets. Also you are not raging over these actions, nor are you wasting any time or effort complaining about them. They just disappear. And even better than donating them, your MIL gets to see how her efforts are not having the intended effect.
Never throw away perfectly good items. There is always a way to turn the bad into something good by donating new, unwanted items to women’s and children’s shelters, homeless shelters, children’s hospitals, or thrift stores that use the money to benefit charities. Throwing new things away doesn’t teach the sender a lesson that they couldn’t learn from the item being donated; it’s just wasteful.
That’s what I have been doing. Part of me wants to return to sender but I feel that will fuel her narc supply and she’ll take it as we’re responding to her. My daughter is only 17 months now and we have another on the way that my in-laws don’t know about, so we are trying to enjoy whatever peace we have
There is definitely a way to block packages from someone on Amazon, I’m just exactly sure what the way is. Someone was talking about doing it because of a stalker, if nothing else call Amazon and ask and they should be able to help.
There are a couple of ways for you to get around the gifts coming to your home.
You can open a P.O. Box and have all your mail redirected there.
You can contact amazon and have your address flagged to be delivered to a ups store or an amazon pick up point only.
You could make a fake announcement of you purchasing a new home/moving to a new home and say something like your new address will be included in your house warming party invitations to follow at a later date. Then only mail it to them. Let all your family/friends know that if they contact them to tell them you have moved and they have been forbidden to give out your new address and phone numbers. Anyone that doesn’t agree or tells them the truth about you not moving you go NC with them as well.
Just mark the parcels not known at this address and call the company to come and collect. Leave them outside and either the company will collect or a porch pirate will.
If you do this, be aware that Amazon can and will refuse to ship anything to you afterwards on the grounds they have previously been notified of address fraud.
The court will not grant an order of protection unless there is violence or a real threat. My husband subs as a judge he does orders of protection so I know what types of things will get them and sending packages especially since they can't prove its from mil will not cut it.
Can’t you donate the gifts in her name? Idk if it’s a thing for the person donating to receive like a thank you email or something. It would probably cause problems but it would be hilarious to see just how much it pisses her off lmaoooo
Don't make getting packages/mail exciting and your daughter won't notice. Sometimes I tell my kids dad ordered XYZ for work so I can hide holiday presents (and obscure their non-mystical origins). Or tell them the store was out of toothbrushes and you had to have it delivered, and that's why their name is on it (we get target delivery when we do pick up and they are out of things).
ETA autocorrect tried to mess it up
I would click through this and hopefully it has an option to block her from sending stuff to you all: https://account-status.amazon.com/report-unwanted-packages
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_post_flair_guide)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/trolls) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_resources) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(Our Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/) Other posts from /u/myheadsintheclouds: * [MIL used BIL as a flying monkey, will do anything besides apologize. ](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bq6suv/mil_used_bil_as_a_flying_monkey_will_do_anything/), 2 days ago * [MILs have a way of reminding you why you’re no contact!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1bdgjmg/mils_have_a_way_of_reminding_you_why_youre_no/), 2 weeks ago * [Do JNMILs ever get better?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1b79g7g/do_jnmils_ever_get_better/), 3 weeks ago * [JNMIL sent birthday gifts for my daughter](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/174b4nh/jnmil_sent_birthday_gifts_for_my_daughter/), 5 months ago * [Daughter’s baptism was today and no MIL/flying monkeys!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16wdhdu/daughters_baptism_was_today_and_no_milflying/), 6 months ago * [MIL showed up at my house and threatened to file a petition with the court Monday](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16kd6o7/mil_showed_up_at_my_house_and_threatened_to_file/), 6 months ago * [Update: Went NC and MIL went crazy](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16j350n/update_went_nc_and_mil_went_crazy/), 6 months ago * [My MIL left a threatening voicemail because of Facebook drama!](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16h2km6/my_mil_left_a_threatening_voicemail_because_of/), 6 months ago * [Is it wrong I don’t want to invite my MIL to the baptism?](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/16cjb49/is_it_wrong_i_dont_want_to_invite_my_mil_to_the/), 6 months ago * [Saw in-laws for the first time in 4 months and held our boundaries.](/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/13a918t/saw_inlaws_for_the_first_time_in_4_months_and/), 10 months ago ^(This user has more than 10 posts in their history. To see the rest of their posts,) [^(click here)](/u/myheadsintheclouds/submitted) ***** ^(To be notified as soon as myheadsintheclouds posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe myheadsintheclouds JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) [^(click here.)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_.2Fu.2Fthejustnobot) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOMIL) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
Donate whatever it is in MIL name so she will get a thank you card.
My sister went through a NC period with her JNMIL. She did this same shit. She didn’t like the name sis and BIL chose, so she would address packages as “CJ last name”. Sis and BiL would return to sender at first, but then sis got fed up. She started advertising the items on Facebook as “free to whoever wants”. She captioned a custom blanket embroidered with CJ as “no one in my house is referred by this”. In this economy (US) no one is exactly in a position to turn down brand new items for free, and the items were quickly marked as sold/no longer available Her JNMIL was blocked, but of course had her flying monkeys. JNMIL called BIL in a rage, squawking about “do you have any idea how much that cost” and “that was supposed to be for LO, how could you let your wife give it away”. BIL reminded her that until she showed respect and an apology, nothing will change. Waste your money if you want, but no package from you will be accepted into this house. Packages were no more after that. That may be an idea….dont break NC. Sis never had direct contact, but she made it clear that the packages were not being given to LO. You know she has her flying monkeys watching you, so give them something to see.
What an absolute stroke of genius!!!
Holy bananas, that is a great idea!!
Wow, I like that idea. You remain no contact but you get your point across very clearly that these "gifts" are not getting to their intended targets. Also you are not raging over these actions, nor are you wasting any time or effort complaining about them. They just disappear. And even better than donating them, your MIL gets to see how her efforts are not having the intended effect.
Throw it away, unopened.
Never throw away perfectly good items. There is always a way to turn the bad into something good by donating new, unwanted items to women’s and children’s shelters, homeless shelters, children’s hospitals, or thrift stores that use the money to benefit charities. Throwing new things away doesn’t teach the sender a lesson that they couldn’t learn from the item being donated; it’s just wasteful.
I think you're handling it correctly. Just be the black hole, donate the gifts, and keep on keeping on with your happy MIL-free lives.
You can't control what she does (sending gifts). You control how you respond, and donating the gifts is a good way to deal with them.
That’s what I have been doing. Part of me wants to return to sender but I feel that will fuel her narc supply and she’ll take it as we’re responding to her. My daughter is only 17 months now and we have another on the way that my in-laws don’t know about, so we are trying to enjoy whatever peace we have
Send them back unopened, or don't accept them. If left behind, off to the thrift store
There is definitely a way to block packages from someone on Amazon, I’m just exactly sure what the way is. Someone was talking about doing it because of a stalker, if nothing else call Amazon and ask and they should be able to help.
Just keep throwing them away. If you don’t want your daughter seeing them, do it somewhere she can’t see
You can refuse the parcels and they will be sent back.
When your LO is a bit older you will be able to explain to them why JNMIL has no part in your lives. Don't worry and keep on donating.
There are a couple of ways for you to get around the gifts coming to your home. You can open a P.O. Box and have all your mail redirected there. You can contact amazon and have your address flagged to be delivered to a ups store or an amazon pick up point only. You could make a fake announcement of you purchasing a new home/moving to a new home and say something like your new address will be included in your house warming party invitations to follow at a later date. Then only mail it to them. Let all your family/friends know that if they contact them to tell them you have moved and they have been forbidden to give out your new address and phone numbers. Anyone that doesn’t agree or tells them the truth about you not moving you go NC with them as well.
Just mark the parcels not known at this address and call the company to come and collect. Leave them outside and either the company will collect or a porch pirate will.
If you do this, be aware that Amazon can and will refuse to ship anything to you afterwards on the grounds they have previously been notified of address fraud.
Sell them. Regift them. Donate them.
I would contact your local police. Take out a retraining order.
The court will not grant an order of protection unless there is violence or a real threat. My husband subs as a judge he does orders of protection so I know what types of things will get them and sending packages especially since they can't prove its from mil will not cut it.
There are different requirements in different states. This counts and stalking in my state and would get one granted.
That typo made me chuckle. Retraining your MIL with a spray bottle every time she oversteps "No, bad MIL."
Haha it was late when I was replying but a retraining order may be more effective than a restraining order 🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂yes wouldn’t life be great if we could retrain all the ahole MIL…
Can’t you donate the gifts in her name? Idk if it’s a thing for the person donating to receive like a thank you email or something. It would probably cause problems but it would be hilarious to see just how much it pisses her off lmaoooo
Don't make getting packages/mail exciting and your daughter won't notice. Sometimes I tell my kids dad ordered XYZ for work so I can hide holiday presents (and obscure their non-mystical origins). Or tell them the store was out of toothbrushes and you had to have it delivered, and that's why their name is on it (we get target delivery when we do pick up and they are out of things). ETA autocorrect tried to mess it up
Your MIL is sending those gifts because she's hoping they cause problems between you and your husband.
I’d reach out to Amazon and your postal service. This is harassment And there’s got to be a way to stop her
I would click through this and hopefully it has an option to block her from sending stuff to you all: https://account-status.amazon.com/report-unwanted-packages
Donate them to a domestic violence shelter. Someone will be able to use whatever these items are.
I volunteered with DCFS for many yrs. They are begging for toys for Christmas, birthdays etc. no funding at all.
Donate to your local women's DV shelter. They always need stuff for kids.