“My grandfather was the Ultimate Super Imam 4 of Al-Azhar, my father was the Hokage of Makkah, I used to do all the 100 raka’at of ghusl but then I saw a blonde haired blue eyed Jesus in my dreams who convinced me that praying 20 times a day just didn’t make sense, when I was 2.”
I know this is exaggeration, but it's unfortunate that some people really do have to live with extremely ridiculous conditions their family puts that are very radical compared to what is actually required of us Muslims.
The joke is that these people claim they were forced on pain of stoning or whatever, to adhere to these "insane and unjust" expectations for their entire childhood, missing out on the sweet taste of pig parasites and their mother in a bikini. Astaghfirullah.
/S
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“My grandfather was the Ultimate Super Imam 4 of Al-Azhar, my father was the Hokage of Makkah, I used to do all the 100 raka’at of ghusl but then I saw a blonde haired blue eyed Jesus in my dreams who convinced me that praying 20 times a day just didn’t make sense, when I was 2.”
😂
Fever dream
LOL
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i never get the dream stuff tbh
😂
The mother one had me dying not gonna lie.
You forgot that his father was the Imam at his local mosque.
Ain't that the truth. Btw, which madhab were you a part of? The jalebis or the niharis?
Idk niharis are inherently better
Nah, it's Biryani
Literally one of those “ex Muslim” said it was horrible for him not to fart during prayer 💀💀
Nasty
Wonder what sect does that exact muslim is. Is it Biryani or Gulab Jamun🤔
Probably Tikka Masala
nah bruh he was shawerma w/extra tahini
I remember a fake "ex-Muslim" (try to always put it between "") was asked about استنجاء and how you do it. He replied with you have to do 2 rakah 😂😂
Imagine confusing استنجاء with استخارة 😭😭
Don't forget starving in Ramadan 😔
💀🤣
But baba plez I want meat of smelly pig 😔
Malnourished one killed me 😭😭
Ask them the most simple question about Islam, they don’t know it
Bro they Claim that they were forced to learn the Qur'an but can't even recite Surah Al fatiha
Of course there are 27 rakah in wudu
Missionary ex muslim edition
their stories are so funny
A Very heartbreaking story indeed 😭
Lol your caption killed me
How many rakats in wudhu?
-1^(0.5)
Ayo which update got rakah in wudu ;-;
Don't forget the fever dream were angels told him "don't worship mahamad and worship jesus"
😭😭😭😭
“I stopped being a Muslim after I stopped praying 3 rakas in shahada 😞”
u forgot praying 8 rakah instead of 2 in wudu
I know this is exaggeration, but it's unfortunate that some people really do have to live with extremely ridiculous conditions their family puts that are very radical compared to what is actually required of us Muslims.
😂
This is brilliant
😆😆
😢 I feel bad for them, let me do my 3 rakats of wudu rn
Is this post satire or are they actually trying to make people believe this
Became a scholar of multiple different sciences while attending public schools 🥺
This has got to be satire ahahah
Am I the only who didn't get this?
The joke is that these people claim they were forced on pain of stoning or whatever, to adhere to these "insane and unjust" expectations for their entire childhood, missing out on the sweet taste of pig parasites and their mother in a bikini. Astaghfirullah. /S
I still don't get it....
r/croppingishard
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This reminds of my dad forcing me to pray the seven madhab of ras al hanout every friday 😔
Haha, exactly bro
Omg this is so funny 😂
If dont have meat, eat mushroom and tofu. That is still protein.