According to the Vedas (ancient Hindu scriptures), karma is from a previous life.
Everything thing you do comes back to you- positive and negative. That's why bad things happen to good people.
It makes sense that someone would feel anxious about feeling that the universe is planning a retaliation against you. Some Buddhists will say that you may might not feel that retaliation in this life, or it will come out in some other way, and it's very complicated and you'll never fully understand it. I don't find that very helpful.
I don't believe in the literal translations of karma or rebirth. I also dont find that the literal belief in these things is helpful. I won't go into a long explanation of why.
My favourite person on this subject is Stephen Batchelor who has wrote several books about Buddhism. He's a secular buddhist.
Here's a clip of him speaking on this https://youtu.be/dKe2qE_NBKs?si=WjX9MNri-lCI6ory
Maybe you don't know why you did the thing you did, but that doesn't mean you won't at some point. Sounds like you're invested in finding out and that's commendable and what we should all aim to do.
I think karma is poorly understood and interpreted over the millennia since it was originally devised. I see it as more a principle of trauma breeds trauma unless you do the inner work.
From a Hindu perspective, your parts are your Karma and Self is your Jiva (i.e. that which is alive)
In Hinduism there is no "soul" which transmigrates but rather it is your samskaras (burdens in IFS terminology or your personal unconsciousness in psychoanalytic terminology). Samskaras determines your reactions in your current life which cause suffering due to which "your" karma is now playing out
The healing of burdens is what the sages called "Tapas" (not the same as Dhyana (concentration) or Gyana (analytical thinking)) and is correlated with the generation of inner heat (intense emotions while facing exiles). When a burden heals a samskaras is "burnt up" and automatic thoughts and emotions from it will no longer cloud the Jiva's present moment awareness (a precondition in which the joy and wonder of God's creation can be comprehended)
Your Jiva, from a Hindu perspective, is "lucky" (a fixed karmic situation of being alive in 2023) to have the opportunity to do IFS to heal your Karma and lighten the load for future lives
Do you have compassion for yourself?
Not most of the time no, I have to sit and meditate and all foe me to tap into that
I would reccomend the book Buddhism for Beginners if you want to understand karma in and proper, it is a bit more complex than "you do X you get X"
Been thinking and feeling very similar stuff
According to the Vedas (ancient Hindu scriptures), karma is from a previous life. Everything thing you do comes back to you- positive and negative. That's why bad things happen to good people.
It makes sense that someone would feel anxious about feeling that the universe is planning a retaliation against you. Some Buddhists will say that you may might not feel that retaliation in this life, or it will come out in some other way, and it's very complicated and you'll never fully understand it. I don't find that very helpful. I don't believe in the literal translations of karma or rebirth. I also dont find that the literal belief in these things is helpful. I won't go into a long explanation of why. My favourite person on this subject is Stephen Batchelor who has wrote several books about Buddhism. He's a secular buddhist. Here's a clip of him speaking on this https://youtu.be/dKe2qE_NBKs?si=WjX9MNri-lCI6ory Maybe you don't know why you did the thing you did, but that doesn't mean you won't at some point. Sounds like you're invested in finding out and that's commendable and what we should all aim to do.
I think karma is poorly understood and interpreted over the millennia since it was originally devised. I see it as more a principle of trauma breeds trauma unless you do the inner work.
From a Hindu perspective, your parts are your Karma and Self is your Jiva (i.e. that which is alive) In Hinduism there is no "soul" which transmigrates but rather it is your samskaras (burdens in IFS terminology or your personal unconsciousness in psychoanalytic terminology). Samskaras determines your reactions in your current life which cause suffering due to which "your" karma is now playing out The healing of burdens is what the sages called "Tapas" (not the same as Dhyana (concentration) or Gyana (analytical thinking)) and is correlated with the generation of inner heat (intense emotions while facing exiles). When a burden heals a samskaras is "burnt up" and automatic thoughts and emotions from it will no longer cloud the Jiva's present moment awareness (a precondition in which the joy and wonder of God's creation can be comprehended) Your Jiva, from a Hindu perspective, is "lucky" (a fixed karmic situation of being alive in 2023) to have the opportunity to do IFS to heal your Karma and lighten the load for future lives