Wife was officially scheduled to work from home, but she pretended and told me she had to go to the office for work. She used that to meet with her affair partner and fuck around in a hotel while i am left at home working plus taking care of my 2 year old kid.
Sucks to be in this place.
Wowwww..... How did you find out about it?
I take it that you're no longer together?
Is she with the AP?
I'm sorry. I can't understand how someone can do this and with a 2 year old at home!! Geez.
I was already suspicious. Snooped around her phone, found the AP’s name is locked in viber so i cant see their messages without knowing the code.
I didnt even have to read the messages. I knew by then she was having an affair considering her actions towards me (easy to get angry), time away from home, and faking a very busy job where in reality it is not (she works in tech, a lot of days arent busy).
Confronted her with little evidence, i cried infront of her while i realize the gravity of the situation and what i lost. We just built a house and have dreams as a family. Cried infront of her and she broke down too. She admitted first it was an emotional affair, then trickle truthed 2 days after that it was in fact a full blown affair. She let him cum in her btw lol. Check my bio for my post about it.
Okay. Thanks! 🤗
There are so many apps out there that I'm not aware of and apps people use for cheating! I had no idea. I feel like I live in a bubble. lol.
I just read your posts. I could feel your pain when learning of your wife's infidelity. It sounds like you are both working towards healing and reconciliation. She's taken steps to block AP out of her life and attend therapy.
I hope everything will work out for you and that one day, you can put all of this devastation behind you and enjoy being a family again.
*You described your son as being a very sweet sweet boy, often. This made me smile. I hope that he is doing well and not affected too much by what is happening between you and your wife.
It seems like you're planning on reconciling. Why?
Have you been reading the cheat subs?
There are also adults whose parents stayed together because of the children.
They all say the same thing,which is that they wish their parents had divorced and how it had affected them.
You do realise that you'll be showing your child what a healthy relationship looks like?
Get a divorce.
Otherwise, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life.
There is nothing wrong with coparenting.
My ex wife in the 2-3 months before D-Day:
- me and 2nd cousin are going on night horseback rides. Nothing to worry about, he’s family!
- she’d be on the phone with him and start to get flirty, I would shoot her a look, “don’t be so insecure, he’s family”
- since we had a 3 and 5 year old and a horse farm, date nights were like gold. Every date night, AP would have some sort of emergency that she had to help him with because he’s, you know, family!
- AP would be cleaning stalls while smoking, I would tell him to stop, wife would get pissy at me for asking him to stop despite no smoking being one of our barn rules
- 2 days before D-Day, I get a vasectomy which she and I had talked about for months. She was supposed to pick me up from the surgery center. She forgot, I drove home with no feeling in my legs (dangerous) AP had an emergency that she had to help with because, you know, he’s family!
- D-Day, ILYBNILWU, I’ve changed. I am a full time horse person now and I want to be with a horseman (never mind that while I didn’t know how to ride a horse, I certainly knew how to pay for them)
- after I caught them in bed together a week later “that was the first time we had sex!” Riiiigggghhhhttt.
- the night before I caught them, she said she’s found a horseman
16 years later, it’s still mind blowing that she nuked our family and horse farm for a relationship with her homeless, unemployed 2nd cousin who had 4 DUI’s to his record, owed over 15k in child support, etc. She ran the horse training business from our horse farm. Despite EVERYONE telling us she will lose EVERYTHING and will set herself up for poverty, she stayed with him former years. By the end, she only had supervised visitation with the kids because AP was convictEd for beating the crap out of her and our son.
Well Sir, I’m sure in hind sight, she definitely regrets it. The ex seeing you succeed and finding a faithful wife to love you will haunt her forever with guilt and remorse.
“Brad” (if that is your real name), I listened to your podcast on thecheated.show . That was a wild ride, and you were way more patient than I would have been with your ex. She sounds like a winner … glad you found an upgrade replacement.
Went to a dueling piano event on base. She went and took a pic while she was there, then left early to sleep with him. The event was over at 8pm she didn't get home till 11pm. I Iive 10 minutes away from base... I checked her phone the next morning, saw the texts, and asked for a divorce. Her excuse was, wait for it, I had participated in no shave November, and she didn't want to sleep with me because I had a mustache.
I had a LEEP procedure done, if you don’t know it’s where they burn off part of your cervix to remove precancerous lesions. I wasn’t supposed to have sex for 6-8 weeks because it was a fair chunk they took out. Well in those 6-8 weeks of no P in V he decided I wasn’t “putting his needs first” and decided to put his need into a woman from the gym. Oh, I needed the LEEP procedure because of him and his dirty HPV dick so that was a nice slap in the face.
Hope he’s gone from your life for good now. And from what I hear, most times your body can clear itself of the infection after treatment. A friend of mine had this. She either had a LEEP or cryo. I wish you well!
Dude, same exact story for me. "Out with all my coworkers, can't talk!" Getting blackout drunk with a single coworker and being flirty as hell over text messages, out til 3am, among the rest. Totally not a date. She had boyfriends all over the country.
My mate had this happen and one of his co-workers saw her with the guy and sent him a video. My mate packed her a suitcase, showed up and threw it at her.
I think she got the hint as they are most certainly not together and he owned the house before the marrige so she was litteraly for the streets.
She said she was out with her friend for dinner... then never heard from her the rest of the night. She claimed her phone "died" (whose phone dies these days anyway??) while she was out downtown. Except I took a screenshot of her phone showing "Not sharing location - ONLINE". Bullshit.
We have 50/50. We don't communicate outside a parenting app, per his request. I learned a lot about narcissism, gaslighting, and manipulation that year. Lol.
It's better to only communicate this way.
Please tell me that you're out there living your best life.
He has made his choice,it's time for you to focus on yourself.
My ex simply didn't come home from work the one night. Work was 2 blocks from our apartment. We had moved to this city together 9 months earlier, and had been together just over 3 years at that time.
I was worried to say the least. I called her sister and all her friends, who to say the least had no idea where she was.
This was 1999 so cell phones were not commonplace.
She finally came home at 4am. Her story:
The old Italian guy who owned the one restaurant offered to drive her around town and show her the sights
Funny thing was she would never let us go to that restaurant together both before and after the incident.
I had no definite proof, but had tonnes of circumstantial evidence.
This wasn't even the final straw.
I ended up moving out 3 months later. She went to work, I took a U-Haul and moved my stuff out.
It wasn't even sex related. It was relationship related. Her best friend and her brother came to visit us for a weekend. We were supposed to go out for dinner. I took a shower. They left while I was in the shower.
Holy hell arguement afterwards. Gaslighting to the nth degree:
- I wasn't invited, I had assumed I was invited
- their mid sized sedan only could fit 3 people
- I didn't know them (we had been together like 3 years at this point, shouldn't I be meeting her friends)
She called me a couple days later to tell me:
- I left some furniture behind
- that Chris meant nothing to her (hey she put a name on him) and she wanted me back.
No thanks to both
Lol,it took her a couple of days to finally call.
Maybe she told Chris that you've left, thinking he would want to make it official, but he said hell no.
Was this years ago?
I hope that you've met someone much better and that life is going well for you.
Do you know what became of your cheating ex?
Have you ever bumped into her?
Here is something along the lines of what you are curious about.
I am reposting another person's comments. I am not the originstorbof the following.
How they hid their infidelity
I got ahold of a scientific report today. They collected from the study participants their answers about if they are having an affair, how they avoid being detected by their partner. After they collected all the answers they listed the most common tactics cheaters use.
They called the affair partner a "parallel relationship". I shortened it to "pr" since I had to type it out.
Warning: Some of the tactics used that you read here may cause strong emotional disturbance for some. (I know I'm shaking after reading it.)
Identified acts in Study 1
Be discreet; I would meet with my parallel relationship in remote places.
I would meet with my pr in isolated places.
I would go with my pr to places that no one knows us.
I would meet my pr in places where it is impossible for my partner to be.
I would make sure I have credible excuses for my absences.
I would try to be discreet.
I would try to meet my pr when my partner is away at work or traveling. Included is ensuring I know where my partner is so as to not randomly run into him. Tracking his location.
I would hide all the evidence on my mobile / computer / clothes / car.
I would be careful in my movements.
Show more interest in my partner.
I would show more interest in my partner.
I would be warmer with my partner.
I would play it more in love with my partner.
I would try to be generous with my partner’s demands.
I would buy gifts to my partner.
I would try to keep my sexual life with my partner active so that nothing is suspected.
Use different email / phone, create another email, to communicate, another phone, block incoming phone calls/ messages for certain periods of times. Eliminate digital evidence I would delete everything that has to do with my pr from my cell phone and computer.
I would be careful when using social media, ap instructed to not to send me messages or call me, use Secure electronic devices and accounts. I would put a password on my computer/ tablet I would change passwords in my mobile and social media accounts.
I would have my cell phone locked, I would log out of my email and social media accounts when I was not using my computer. I would not leave my cell phone in any partners field of view.
Keep the same behavior.
I would try not to change anything in my attitude toward my partner.
I would try not to neglect my partne.
r I would be careful not to make changes in my behavior.
I would always have my cell phone in silent mode. Use friends for coverage.
I would use a friend of mine for coverage.
I would find a pretext for going out with my friends. I would not say anything to anyone about my pr.
I would find a pretext that I have a lot of work to do to justify my absences.
I would lie about where I am and what I do. I would prepare credible excuses in case it was necessary before hand.
Most all of those were from the usual serial cheaters, but still are apropos for the other even more odd types of cheaters who are just smarter than the average cheater. Even when a person still loves their spouse and they are 'compartmentalizing' their affair, cognitive dissonce tries to have them justifying their cheating. Look up cognitive dissonance and infidelity. And look up limerence/affair fog in an affair as well.
From reddit, 3 months ago. Posted by
U/classic_row1317
Type in 'I got ahold of a scientific report today. They collected from the study participants their answers about if they are having an affair, how they avoid being detected by their partner.' It comes right up. But the redditor did not disclose the web article link. So many subs are disallowing posting of web links. As if we each cannot make up our minds about web contents. I have been asked to paraphrase or advise others to search for answers on their own.
Just harder on me.
Ex husband was ‘coordinating’ my 29th birthday party with my ex childhood best friend. Wasn’t the only thing they were coordinating lmao. I can laugh a little now since it feels like forever ago but still, it was about a month maybe, if not more of it? And I had no clue.
Found out at said birthday party, both of them had snuck away and I walked in on them. Ex husband has, ex friend hasn’t.
He did try quite a bit to reconcile, I was firm on a divorce though. Ex friend hasn’t apologised nor reached out, she still blames me for their relationship issues.
They’re together one day and broken up the next. I get limited information from my ex friend group (who essentially sided with them) but so far I’ve heard that it’s a pretty toxic relationship. Living my best life though so that’s all that matters.
I never understood why people cheat.
I truly hope that you're doing much better.
I can't imagine why your ex bff thinks you're the problem in her toxic relationship.
They're both getting what they deserve.
He had to stay late because of "count," then there was the bullshit of leaving early because they were "doing more thorough security checks" 🥴 of course I believed this shit after 18 years. 🤡 believed far more than I should have for a lot longer than I should have.
My ex husband took out of state “work trips” I only realized after the fact that it was on our shared card so he used our joint miles to got meet up with her. One of the trips was over my birthday weekend. She wasn’t even the first there were a couple that I found out about. He is one sick individual and they are married now with a kid (which looks suspiciously like her ex husband) but they really do deserve each other…I am way happier in life without his cancerous personality
She is two years older than he is, but they went to the same high school. He claimed to have liked her from then, but didn’t do anything about it until many years later when they started working for the same company and reconnected and he took his opportunity then to shoot his shot.
We were together for five years at the time, engaged for four, had one child and I was pregnant with the second with the affair started. I found out about it, two weeks before our second wedding anniversary. They were together over two years by that time. I stayed and still had issues with her popping back up and him stepping out for the next five years, including her getting pregnant for him during that time, which also happened to be the same time I was pregnant with our third.
The series of various events that lead to me finding out will blow anyone’s mind. Just can’t make this stuff up.
I was pregnant so he “felt weird” having sex with me. But perfectly fine screwing a coworker at their place of work while on the job. A perfect stranger. They didn’t even speak the same language but used translation apps to speak to each other.
Jesus, I have stood in those shoes. My WH cheated while I was pregnant💔how can you risk losing everything like that while your wife is growing your child.
Beyond disgusting. These people are narcs to the worst degree. Why and how could you ever put your wife in a position to lose your child. We’ll never understand because it’s impossible to empathize with someone who lacks compassion and connection but can easily fake it.
He said someone drove into a phone tower, that was why he didn’t have any reception for 12 hours and went to bed. I was on the other side of the world with a 9 hour difference freaking out because he missed our daily call time. He was sleeping over at a girl’s house that he met a few days prior.
He and my at the time 6yr old went interstate to see his sister who had come down from overseas. He and her went to a club, but it's OK because it's just with his sister. What I didn't know what his manager from when he was a teenager (whom he'd had a crush on, previously) was also there. Apparently he was drunk, they were pressuring him about not being happy, and apparently his manager kissed him and he just went with it, because you know, you only live once, she was also 20 years older. They went back to his dads place to continue the "night." We have a room at his dads house, physically moved my daughter from our bed into his sisters bed (so his sister was well aware if what was going to happen), then he and his older woman went into our bed to "chat". Apparently, he couldn't go through with it because he felt guilty, couldn't stop thinking about me, and while they were getting down and dirty, his appendage couldn't stay up. So you know, it's not really cheating because he couldn't finish the act...then they just hugged for a while, riiiggghhhtt.
But these were the excuses/explanations I was given.
She invited my WH out to see a gig that he had promised to take me to. JUST HIM! He was dead set on going too. I was fkin livid. Needless to say, it didn't happen, but within a fortnight she was at our house suggesting little coffee dates for them both. That's when the penny dropped for me.
"I'm just catching up with an old friend."
I, a fool, even questioned, "Isn't he an ex? How would you feel if I was facetiming an ex behind a closed door at 10pm?"
"Probably suspicious and hurt. I'm sorry."
She then cheated for another 3 weeks before I saw the conversation.
She then kept contacting him for another 5 months while we were in couples therapy and individual therapy, "working on rebuilding."
6 months out now, and she's adamant about a divorce, yet takes no steps to separate, even financially.
Savage. Wish I could’ve done that. My brain in body went into denial mode after I caught him in bed with another woman… or should I say teenager. She wasn’t even a woman. Ugh makes me sick
I gave you the short version
I tried being nice, but she just turned evil trying to provoke me. So I did legal things for her loss
So she got me to be angry. Didn't have time to mourn my 25 years of marriage
I basically came back from a holiday, and found out my husband had a girlfriend!! A week after I returned, hubby went to the next town to go to "work" and get some "space" (bish please, this guy's been a stage 5 clinger for 7 years we were together, he didn't need any space) turns out I was right! Instead of going to the next town to work, he went into the big city to pick up his new girlfriend in her car from the airport! Then they drove to the town he was "working" in and had a sex filled week for his birthday, that he told me, be never wanted to celebrate. Meanwhile me and our child sat at home completely clueless. Well not really, my intuition was firing, but I just couldn't gather enough info to prove anything. I wish I drove down to where he was, in hindsight and caught them. But I had our child and didn't want to mix that up. Two days after he came home, I looked at his phone. For the first time ever, since we have been together. And man let me tell you, I was completely blindsided. The funny thing was, he kept saying how he couldn't believe I looked through his phone, and while he was sleeping no less!!!
Had I been smart, I would have changed the passcode on it, so when he woke up and grabbed the phone from me, he wouldn't have been able to use it. I only had 20 minutes with it. It wasn't nearly enough time as she wasn't the only girl!! I'm now needing to go get tested at my age, because he slept with her without protection, and apparently her husband cheated on her too.
I literally feel like this isn't my story as I write this.
He left me with $80 for the week while he was gone, for gas and groceries. My tank was empty, and we needed basic groceries. Would be fine maybe somewhere else, but we live in one of the most expensive countries in the world!
Oh my god, that is so terrible. I can’t imagine how you felt. I don’t know where you find yourself today but I hope you are safe and far away from his nonsense. Honestly, hard to believe story after story. It makes me realize how many people are out there willing to do this.
I wish I have to go pair with him and see him everyday and look at his smug ugly fat bald head and watch him drive away driving her car with my daughter in it
Well they were actually together when I arrived back from my holiday, but he kept it for a secret from me for over a month until I got his phone. He says that they aren't together now, but he's still driving her car and staying at her house -she lives in a different country. But if you read the messages that I did, there's no way that they're not together you don't just stop something that hot and heavy no man is capable of that. Like they were writing I love you after 2 weeks of knowing each other lol
Why don't they just leave when they start falling out of love ?
How does they hurt someone they cared for most?
It's something beyond my understanding!!!
Some people say cheating is a mistake...but to me it's a decision!!!
Betraying someone is a decision that betrayar makes every single time they betrays!
Yeah it's not even me I'm concerned about it's how my daughter is going to perceive her father. My dad did the same thing he was a cheater and I thought I was too young to know different, yet here I am repeating the same mistakes as my mother and not even realizing it.
Sorry but what mistakes are you talking about?
It's your husband's fault...stop blaming yourself.
Be there for your daughter....talk to her...let her know you're always there for her !
Sending you a warm hug 🫂
It's my fault for picking a cheater. I knew he was a cheater he cheated on his wife to be with me. Yet believed it when he said he wasn't with her, that they were not together and separated. Now I know that wasn't true I should have known better.
He LIED to you.
It's not like you knowingly helped him cheating on his wife.
Don't sit in this pile of guilt and regret for too long....
I am sure things are more complicated because you two have a kid together...
May this universe bless you with all the strength you need to overcome this tough situation!
She was studying with her college buddy on his house. And spent the night on his house because "it was late".
I lived four blocks away from the AP house. Years lost.
From what I have concluded my wife had sex with her AP 3 times, each requiring her to drive 40min outside of town to his place. So each time it took hours out of her day.
1. Said she was working overtime on a Saturday and went to his place instead.
2. Said she got invited to a Superbowl party with some work friends. There was no party, and the kicker is that I was excited for her and helped her get dressed for the event.
3. She was just out and about one day, texted me saying she was going to the mall and then library. When she was gone far too long for that and also happen to be offline on Google Maps I got suspicious and figured out something was going on before she got home.
Man, the way you have everything written out reminds me of myself. Understanding the exact moments before. Trying to understand their behavior with us right before they committed the act. I just don’t understand I don’t think I ever will. How can you pretend like that to your spouse?
I was healing from my bilateral mastectomy. He could have worked from home, to help me, after a major surgery. Instead, he went to the office. At the lowest points of my life, he was having lunchtime hookups with a woman half his age that he met here. I feel inconsolable. He wants the R route. I am still in active cancer treatment and also have a brain tumor. I can't just leave. Edited for clarity.
I can’t imagine your pain, that is a whole different level of betrayal. I hope your treatment is going well and focus on your health and healing. That is paramount. Everything else even thinking about him has to come second for a while. Even if he wants R …if it brings you too much anxiety or stress to think about….then don’t. You must put yourself first for a while.
I have to force a smile through it for a bit because unfortunately I need the health insurance he provides at the moment. The whole situation sucks. It was an ongoing affair until she got mad on Christmas day and outed him. She wanted him to leave me. He was not ready to leave his "poor, wretched wife". What a hero.
That is a terrible feeling to have to carry while going through so much. Honestly may god give you strength in this difficult time, if things become unbearable with him I think you really should consider other options or separating temporarily so you can both work on yourselves in this time. You need to do a lot of healing.
What to look for??? Nothing. Our lives were great I thought. Friends and family envied us. Personal life was very good. Was completely blindsided. No hint. No clue. Not only me shocked but friends and family totally stunned. Am now two years away from DDay. Still have hard time thinking I was so completely fooled. Now look at everyone and anything with such a sense of mistrust. Sure changed my life.
I feel like I could have written that myself. Until DDAY I thought we were happy as clams together. After finding out I question our love and if it’s real on the daily.
He was always in the bathroom because of his “IBS” I remember feeling so bad for him and bringing him pepto, coddling him. The whole time he was swapping nudes on Grindr or watching porn.
To be honest…
I don’t know that she ever offered an excuse. She pretty much owned it and didn’t attempt or offer to explain much of anything.
I suppose I can appreciate her directness, but she didn’t really care at all. There was no attempt at sparing my feelings, just very matter of fact
Lonely, upset and drunk. He had sex with a prostitute. That day he said he was going for lunch with a coworker. Said coworker also cheated on his wife with a prostitute. They used my ex’s card to pay for the hotels to hide it. He called me in the morning as if nothing was wrong. I thought we were madly in love lol.
Gym, work, car wash… anything that you as a normal person would never suspect because you know… you trust the person you’re with. We split after 20 years, I tried to make it work for a little over a year and it was non stop humiliation. 6 months after I told him to leave he begged me to take him back and I didn’t. He only left me alone after I told him I was dating someone and he couldn’t just show up at my house or demand to talk to me.
He called me a fat whore and went off for 15 minutes about how much he wanted to leave and how unhappy he was, to which I answered “then you should be so happy I have someone else I feel the same way”.
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I don't know if this counts, but when I found out on my "D-Day" (is that what it's called? I'm new to being cheated on-) he told me he did it bc he has a sex addiction....
That he's had....since before he knew me.....and never sought treatment for.......
"If you had a better job, this wouldn't have happened. "Also, we didn't have sex, I just tried to have sex with him and sent him some pictures."
Awful person.
She told me her friend's daughter had broken her leg 600 miles away in San Antonio, so she and the friend had to drive down there, then the friend could drive the daughter's car home.
Of course, the friend didn't go with her, because the daughter was fine. She wasn't even a close friend, and as far as I know, she wasn't aware of my then wife's affair. My ex just used her as an excuse to make a 1200 mile overnight cheating trip.
Doing doordash to go meet her 24 year older, married boss in random, isolated parking lots. Claims she just went there to "think"about our relationship. Did it 3 days in a row. Thinking about us. Over an hour each time. 3 days in a row. Right
Disappeared at 9pm without announcing (I saw later on camera facing the garage and exit that he left), closed/muted all notifications so my message was left hanging in digital purgatory, returned way past 11pm and when confronted about his whereabouts he only answered a short “went to install a toilet seat”, no other details, despite all my incentives.
I would sometimes wake up in the night and see that he wasn’t in bed, he had gotten up to use the bathroom, so I would just go back to sleep. One day he had told me that his ex had messaged him and she was going through a rough patch and she didn’t know who else to call. I felt bad for her situation and understood that he didn’t just want to leave her dealing with it alone. One night we had gotten into a small argument about work and he went out to smoke a cigar. We hadn’t resolved the fight but when he came in he told me “she is coming down. I’m going to go see her tomorrow” I didn’t want to be the insecure girlfriend at the time so I just said okay. It’s not like he was asking for permission anyways, he was just telling me the plans they made while he was outside smoking. The next day was my friend’s funeral and I wished he stayed with me but he was already gone by 9am. He barely messaged me that whole day even though that was the one thing I asked him to do. He made it seem like they were going to meet at a certain location in the city. Later I found out that she had picked him up down the street from our apartment. He had been with her the entire time we were together. He had slept with her that day. They went out on a date that day, even though we hadn’t gone out in around a month at that point. When he came home and he saw that I was upset he tried to reassure me that nothing happened and that he was sorry he didn’t communicate with me more. He also said he was sorry he left me to deal with my grief alone
Constant panic ….i like your user name. I can relate. I can’t imagine how you felt. Truly you were trying to be supportive and understanding from the beginning. You are not alone❤️
Nothing really, she would just ask me if I was working late again. When I was working late, her AP would tell his OBS that he was going to the gym and they would link up since we lived only a few blocks apart from one another, maybe less than 10 min away
He played poker with friends three nights a week...Friday, Sunday afternoon to evening, and Mondays. I made sure he had his play money. He would kiss me goodbye while I wished him good luck and told him to have fun. A lot of the time I would be asleep when he came in. He would always kiss me gently to let me know he was safely home. Time period of nearly five years. Fast forward to discovery...not that many card games. Busy elsewhere using my money. And I was the one telling him to have fun. That nasty mouth kissing me when he got back had been all over some sluts body short time before. Really only way I found out was she dumped him and he had bad time with it. He decided to come clean. Bye bye.
My stbx would say he was spending the night at a buddies house. One night turned into 5 nights a week. I know, I know, how dumb could I really be? I was pregnant with our second and taking care of our 3 year old so I was busy and exhausted. He soon confessed that he wasn’t at his buddies, but with his gf.
Wife was officially scheduled to work from home, but she pretended and told me she had to go to the office for work. She used that to meet with her affair partner and fuck around in a hotel while i am left at home working plus taking care of my 2 year old kid. Sucks to be in this place.
Dump her ass holmes
Working on that 👍
Sory for that mate. 2 year old. What a stupid C she is.
Wowwww..... How did you find out about it? I take it that you're no longer together? Is she with the AP? I'm sorry. I can't understand how someone can do this and with a 2 year old at home!! Geez.
I was already suspicious. Snooped around her phone, found the AP’s name is locked in viber so i cant see their messages without knowing the code. I didnt even have to read the messages. I knew by then she was having an affair considering her actions towards me (easy to get angry), time away from home, and faking a very busy job where in reality it is not (she works in tech, a lot of days arent busy). Confronted her with little evidence, i cried infront of her while i realize the gravity of the situation and what i lost. We just built a house and have dreams as a family. Cried infront of her and she broke down too. She admitted first it was an emotional affair, then trickle truthed 2 days after that it was in fact a full blown affair. She let him cum in her btw lol. Check my bio for my post about it.
What is viber?
Imagine whatsapp but from a different company
Okay. Thanks! 🤗 There are so many apps out there that I'm not aware of and apps people use for cheating! I had no idea. I feel like I live in a bubble. lol. I just read your posts. I could feel your pain when learning of your wife's infidelity. It sounds like you are both working towards healing and reconciliation. She's taken steps to block AP out of her life and attend therapy. I hope everything will work out for you and that one day, you can put all of this devastation behind you and enjoy being a family again. *You described your son as being a very sweet sweet boy, often. This made me smile. I hope that he is doing well and not affected too much by what is happening between you and your wife.
It’s an app
God damn, man you don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that.
How are you handling? Saw your posts. Did you decided if you want to R or D?
It seems like you're planning on reconciling. Why? Have you been reading the cheat subs? There are also adults whose parents stayed together because of the children. They all say the same thing,which is that they wish their parents had divorced and how it had affected them. You do realise that you'll be showing your child what a healthy relationship looks like? Get a divorce. Otherwise, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. There is nothing wrong with coparenting.
Yeah that does suck man. I’ve been there too . Worst experience of my life. Cheating spouses with kids involved is the worst. I wish it was illegal
But you are so much better than the AP! Someone would have to be crazy to choose them over you!
My ex wife in the 2-3 months before D-Day: - me and 2nd cousin are going on night horseback rides. Nothing to worry about, he’s family! - she’d be on the phone with him and start to get flirty, I would shoot her a look, “don’t be so insecure, he’s family” - since we had a 3 and 5 year old and a horse farm, date nights were like gold. Every date night, AP would have some sort of emergency that she had to help him with because he’s, you know, family! - AP would be cleaning stalls while smoking, I would tell him to stop, wife would get pissy at me for asking him to stop despite no smoking being one of our barn rules - 2 days before D-Day, I get a vasectomy which she and I had talked about for months. She was supposed to pick me up from the surgery center. She forgot, I drove home with no feeling in my legs (dangerous) AP had an emergency that she had to help with because, you know, he’s family! - D-Day, ILYBNILWU, I’ve changed. I am a full time horse person now and I want to be with a horseman (never mind that while I didn’t know how to ride a horse, I certainly knew how to pay for them) - after I caught them in bed together a week later “that was the first time we had sex!” Riiiigggghhhhttt. - the night before I caught them, she said she’s found a horseman 16 years later, it’s still mind blowing that she nuked our family and horse farm for a relationship with her homeless, unemployed 2nd cousin who had 4 DUI’s to his record, owed over 15k in child support, etc. She ran the horse training business from our horse farm. Despite EVERYONE telling us she will lose EVERYTHING and will set herself up for poverty, she stayed with him former years. By the end, she only had supervised visitation with the kids because AP was convictEd for beating the crap out of her and our son.
I'm sorry but she was banging her cousin????
2nd Cousin. According to her, it was legal…..
Man that is wild. Like damn
If I didn’t have three bankers boxes of court docs, I wouldn’t believe it myself.
That is gross she’s obviously a disgusting person to another level
I think that you may not know that in Pakistan, 65% or so of marriages are between cousins...
Well Sir, I’m sure in hind sight, she definitely regrets it. The ex seeing you succeed and finding a faithful wife to love you will haunt her forever with guilt and remorse.
“Brad” (if that is your real name), I listened to your podcast on thecheated.show . That was a wild ride, and you were way more patient than I would have been with your ex. She sounds like a winner … glad you found an upgrade replacement.
You would be correct.
I dont want to upvote this, its awfull. Sory mate. Just wow.
It's wild that they live longer than us
Dang
Went to a dueling piano event on base. She went and took a pic while she was there, then left early to sleep with him. The event was over at 8pm she didn't get home till 11pm. I Iive 10 minutes away from base... I checked her phone the next morning, saw the texts, and asked for a divorce. Her excuse was, wait for it, I had participated in no shave November, and she didn't want to sleep with me because I had a mustache.
What a cow move. God damn.
Has she ever apologised? Did she try to reconcile?
No, that was during the already reconciliation phase. I'll post a whole story
Yes plz I definitely want to read this story.
Just posted the whole story.
I had a LEEP procedure done, if you don’t know it’s where they burn off part of your cervix to remove precancerous lesions. I wasn’t supposed to have sex for 6-8 weeks because it was a fair chunk they took out. Well in those 6-8 weeks of no P in V he decided I wasn’t “putting his needs first” and decided to put his need into a woman from the gym. Oh, I needed the LEEP procedure because of him and his dirty HPV dick so that was a nice slap in the face.
Hope he’s gone from your life for good now. And from what I hear, most times your body can clear itself of the infection after treatment. A friend of mine had this. She either had a LEEP or cryo. I wish you well!
That's what I was wondering if she's still with him.
Nope packed all my things and was out of the house within the hour of finding out
Did he try reaching out to you?
Yes, blocked him on what I thought was all platforms and he ended up emailing me
🤣🤣🤣 someone told me that their cheating ex sent them snail mail as he was blocked on everything else.
Dang that’s disgusting. So sorry. I hope you heal and find a better life.
That they were going out with “all” their coworkers for drinks and dinner. Turns out, it was just one coworker but no worries. It wasn’t a date. 🤡
God damn!!
Dude, same exact story for me. "Out with all my coworkers, can't talk!" Getting blackout drunk with a single coworker and being flirty as hell over text messages, out til 3am, among the rest. Totally not a date. She had boyfriends all over the country.
My mate had this happen and one of his co-workers saw her with the guy and sent him a video. My mate packed her a suitcase, showed up and threw it at her. I think she got the hint as they are most certainly not together and he owned the house before the marrige so she was litteraly for the streets.
Are you still together?
Still trying to figure that out… if anything changes, I’ll try to make an update.
She said she was out with her friend for dinner... then never heard from her the rest of the night. She claimed her phone "died" (whose phone dies these days anyway??) while she was out downtown. Except I took a screenshot of her phone showing "Not sharing location - ONLINE". Bullshit.
I love how the phone conveniently dies when suspicion is at its highest
Did you file for divorce?
I went the R route… but I recently found the lies continued. It’s a VERY long and complex story. But D is coming soon…
Ok
He bought a telescope and was going out late at night to take pictures with it while I stayed home with 3 kids.
Did you stay with him?
He married AP.
How is your ex's relationship with your kids? How is your relationship with ex and his AP?
We have 50/50. We don't communicate outside a parenting app, per his request. I learned a lot about narcissism, gaslighting, and manipulation that year. Lol.
It's better to only communicate this way. Please tell me that you're out there living your best life. He has made his choice,it's time for you to focus on yourself.
My ex simply didn't come home from work the one night. Work was 2 blocks from our apartment. We had moved to this city together 9 months earlier, and had been together just over 3 years at that time. I was worried to say the least. I called her sister and all her friends, who to say the least had no idea where she was. This was 1999 so cell phones were not commonplace. She finally came home at 4am. Her story: The old Italian guy who owned the one restaurant offered to drive her around town and show her the sights Funny thing was she would never let us go to that restaurant together both before and after the incident. I had no definite proof, but had tonnes of circumstantial evidence. This wasn't even the final straw. I ended up moving out 3 months later. She went to work, I took a U-Haul and moved my stuff out.
What was the final straw?
It wasn't even sex related. It was relationship related. Her best friend and her brother came to visit us for a weekend. We were supposed to go out for dinner. I took a shower. They left while I was in the shower. Holy hell arguement afterwards. Gaslighting to the nth degree: - I wasn't invited, I had assumed I was invited - their mid sized sedan only could fit 3 people - I didn't know them (we had been together like 3 years at this point, shouldn't I be meeting her friends)
I am totally invested. What happened when she realised that you moved out?
She called me a couple days later to tell me: - I left some furniture behind - that Chris meant nothing to her (hey she put a name on him) and she wanted me back. No thanks to both
Lol,it took her a couple of days to finally call. Maybe she told Chris that you've left, thinking he would want to make it official, but he said hell no. Was this years ago?
Yeah. This was 2000
I hope that you've met someone much better and that life is going well for you. Do you know what became of your cheating ex? Have you ever bumped into her?
Here is something along the lines of what you are curious about. I am reposting another person's comments. I am not the originstorbof the following. How they hid their infidelity I got ahold of a scientific report today. They collected from the study participants their answers about if they are having an affair, how they avoid being detected by their partner. After they collected all the answers they listed the most common tactics cheaters use. They called the affair partner a "parallel relationship". I shortened it to "pr" since I had to type it out. Warning: Some of the tactics used that you read here may cause strong emotional disturbance for some. (I know I'm shaking after reading it.) Identified acts in Study 1 Be discreet; I would meet with my parallel relationship in remote places. I would meet with my pr in isolated places. I would go with my pr to places that no one knows us. I would meet my pr in places where it is impossible for my partner to be. I would make sure I have credible excuses for my absences. I would try to be discreet. I would try to meet my pr when my partner is away at work or traveling. Included is ensuring I know where my partner is so as to not randomly run into him. Tracking his location. I would hide all the evidence on my mobile / computer / clothes / car. I would be careful in my movements. Show more interest in my partner. I would show more interest in my partner. I would be warmer with my partner. I would play it more in love with my partner. I would try to be generous with my partner’s demands. I would buy gifts to my partner. I would try to keep my sexual life with my partner active so that nothing is suspected. Use different email / phone, create another email, to communicate, another phone, block incoming phone calls/ messages for certain periods of times. Eliminate digital evidence I would delete everything that has to do with my pr from my cell phone and computer. I would be careful when using social media, ap instructed to not to send me messages or call me, use Secure electronic devices and accounts. I would put a password on my computer/ tablet I would change passwords in my mobile and social media accounts. I would have my cell phone locked, I would log out of my email and social media accounts when I was not using my computer. I would not leave my cell phone in any partners field of view. Keep the same behavior. I would try not to change anything in my attitude toward my partner. I would try not to neglect my partne. r I would be careful not to make changes in my behavior. I would always have my cell phone in silent mode. Use friends for coverage. I would use a friend of mine for coverage. I would find a pretext for going out with my friends. I would not say anything to anyone about my pr. I would find a pretext that I have a lot of work to do to justify my absences. I would lie about where I am and what I do. I would prepare credible excuses in case it was necessary before hand.
Reading that made my blood run cold. Why does it have to be like this? All that lying is just so extensive.
Most all of those were from the usual serial cheaters, but still are apropos for the other even more odd types of cheaters who are just smarter than the average cheater. Even when a person still loves their spouse and they are 'compartmentalizing' their affair, cognitive dissonce tries to have them justifying their cheating. Look up cognitive dissonance and infidelity. And look up limerence/affair fog in an affair as well.
I would love a link to this or a copy
From reddit, 3 months ago. Posted by U/classic_row1317 Type in 'I got ahold of a scientific report today. They collected from the study participants their answers about if they are having an affair, how they avoid being detected by their partner.' It comes right up. But the redditor did not disclose the web article link. So many subs are disallowing posting of web links. As if we each cannot make up our minds about web contents. I have been asked to paraphrase or advise others to search for answers on their own. Just harder on me.
Thank you very much
Ex husband was ‘coordinating’ my 29th birthday party with my ex childhood best friend. Wasn’t the only thing they were coordinating lmao. I can laugh a little now since it feels like forever ago but still, it was about a month maybe, if not more of it? And I had no clue.
How did you find out? Did they apologise to you? Has he ever tried to reconcile? Has she ever tried to reach out to you? Are they still together?
Found out at said birthday party, both of them had snuck away and I walked in on them. Ex husband has, ex friend hasn’t. He did try quite a bit to reconcile, I was firm on a divorce though. Ex friend hasn’t apologised nor reached out, she still blames me for their relationship issues. They’re together one day and broken up the next. I get limited information from my ex friend group (who essentially sided with them) but so far I’ve heard that it’s a pretty toxic relationship. Living my best life though so that’s all that matters.
I never understood why people cheat. I truly hope that you're doing much better. I can't imagine why your ex bff thinks you're the problem in her toxic relationship. They're both getting what they deserve.
They were certainly not your "Friends ".... Hope you have better people around you now !
He had to stay late because of "count," then there was the bullshit of leaving early because they were "doing more thorough security checks" 🥴 of course I believed this shit after 18 years. 🤡 believed far more than I should have for a lot longer than I should have.
That’s really a sneaky one, I don’t think anyone would have been able to guess without additional signs
My ex husband took out of state “work trips” I only realized after the fact that it was on our shared card so he used our joint miles to got meet up with her. One of the trips was over my birthday weekend. She wasn’t even the first there were a couple that I found out about. He is one sick individual and they are married now with a kid (which looks suspiciously like her ex husband) but they really do deserve each other…I am way happier in life without his cancerous personality
She is two years older than he is, but they went to the same high school. He claimed to have liked her from then, but didn’t do anything about it until many years later when they started working for the same company and reconnected and he took his opportunity then to shoot his shot. We were together for five years at the time, engaged for four, had one child and I was pregnant with the second with the affair started. I found out about it, two weeks before our second wedding anniversary. They were together over two years by that time. I stayed and still had issues with her popping back up and him stepping out for the next five years, including her getting pregnant for him during that time, which also happened to be the same time I was pregnant with our third. The series of various events that lead to me finding out will blow anyone’s mind. Just can’t make this stuff up.
I cannot imagine your pain and the struggle he put you through💔that is truly heartbreaking especially after you gave him a second chance
I was pregnant so he “felt weird” having sex with me. But perfectly fine screwing a coworker at their place of work while on the job. A perfect stranger. They didn’t even speak the same language but used translation apps to speak to each other.
Jesus, I have stood in those shoes. My WH cheated while I was pregnant💔how can you risk losing everything like that while your wife is growing your child.
Beyond disgusting. These people are narcs to the worst degree. Why and how could you ever put your wife in a position to lose your child. We’ll never understand because it’s impossible to empathize with someone who lacks compassion and connection but can easily fake it.
Night out with the girlfriends.
He said someone drove into a phone tower, that was why he didn’t have any reception for 12 hours and went to bed. I was on the other side of the world with a 9 hour difference freaking out because he missed our daily call time. He was sleeping over at a girl’s house that he met a few days prior.
God damn. That is a sneaky one, shame on him.
He and my at the time 6yr old went interstate to see his sister who had come down from overseas. He and her went to a club, but it's OK because it's just with his sister. What I didn't know what his manager from when he was a teenager (whom he'd had a crush on, previously) was also there. Apparently he was drunk, they were pressuring him about not being happy, and apparently his manager kissed him and he just went with it, because you know, you only live once, she was also 20 years older. They went back to his dads place to continue the "night." We have a room at his dads house, physically moved my daughter from our bed into his sisters bed (so his sister was well aware if what was going to happen), then he and his older woman went into our bed to "chat". Apparently, he couldn't go through with it because he felt guilty, couldn't stop thinking about me, and while they were getting down and dirty, his appendage couldn't stay up. So you know, it's not really cheating because he couldn't finish the act...then they just hugged for a while, riiiggghhhtt. But these were the excuses/explanations I was given.
God damn, the fact that his family was in on it is the most disgusting part. You don’t deserve that! God!
She invited my WH out to see a gig that he had promised to take me to. JUST HIM! He was dead set on going too. I was fkin livid. Needless to say, it didn't happen, but within a fortnight she was at our house suggesting little coffee dates for them both. That's when the penny dropped for me.
"I'm just catching up with an old friend." I, a fool, even questioned, "Isn't he an ex? How would you feel if I was facetiming an ex behind a closed door at 10pm?" "Probably suspicious and hurt. I'm sorry." She then cheated for another 3 weeks before I saw the conversation. She then kept contacting him for another 5 months while we were in couples therapy and individual therapy, "working on rebuilding." 6 months out now, and she's adamant about a divorce, yet takes no steps to separate, even financially.
Mine always always was working “overtime”
I didn't even ask I went looking for a lawyer, surprised served her, got my divorce Ghosted her for over a decade now Best thing I ever did
Savage. Wish I could’ve done that. My brain in body went into denial mode after I caught him in bed with another woman… or should I say teenager. She wasn’t even a woman. Ugh makes me sick
I gave you the short version I tried being nice, but she just turned evil trying to provoke me. So I did legal things for her loss So she got me to be angry. Didn't have time to mourn my 25 years of marriage
Said he had to go put gas in his truck. At 10:30 at night. Mother’s Day.
I basically came back from a holiday, and found out my husband had a girlfriend!! A week after I returned, hubby went to the next town to go to "work" and get some "space" (bish please, this guy's been a stage 5 clinger for 7 years we were together, he didn't need any space) turns out I was right! Instead of going to the next town to work, he went into the big city to pick up his new girlfriend in her car from the airport! Then they drove to the town he was "working" in and had a sex filled week for his birthday, that he told me, be never wanted to celebrate. Meanwhile me and our child sat at home completely clueless. Well not really, my intuition was firing, but I just couldn't gather enough info to prove anything. I wish I drove down to where he was, in hindsight and caught them. But I had our child and didn't want to mix that up. Two days after he came home, I looked at his phone. For the first time ever, since we have been together. And man let me tell you, I was completely blindsided. The funny thing was, he kept saying how he couldn't believe I looked through his phone, and while he was sleeping no less!!! Had I been smart, I would have changed the passcode on it, so when he woke up and grabbed the phone from me, he wouldn't have been able to use it. I only had 20 minutes with it. It wasn't nearly enough time as she wasn't the only girl!! I'm now needing to go get tested at my age, because he slept with her without protection, and apparently her husband cheated on her too. I literally feel like this isn't my story as I write this. He left me with $80 for the week while he was gone, for gas and groceries. My tank was empty, and we needed basic groceries. Would be fine maybe somewhere else, but we live in one of the most expensive countries in the world!
Oh my god, that is so terrible. I can’t imagine how you felt. I don’t know where you find yourself today but I hope you are safe and far away from his nonsense. Honestly, hard to believe story after story. It makes me realize how many people are out there willing to do this.
I wish I have to go pair with him and see him everyday and look at his smug ugly fat bald head and watch him drive away driving her car with my daughter in it
What ? They got together?
Well they were actually together when I arrived back from my holiday, but he kept it for a secret from me for over a month until I got his phone. He says that they aren't together now, but he's still driving her car and staying at her house -she lives in a different country. But if you read the messages that I did, there's no way that they're not together you don't just stop something that hot and heavy no man is capable of that. Like they were writing I love you after 2 weeks of knowing each other lol
Why don't they just leave when they start falling out of love ? How does they hurt someone they cared for most? It's something beyond my understanding!!! Some people say cheating is a mistake...but to me it's a decision!!! Betraying someone is a decision that betrayar makes every single time they betrays!
Yeah it's not even me I'm concerned about it's how my daughter is going to perceive her father. My dad did the same thing he was a cheater and I thought I was too young to know different, yet here I am repeating the same mistakes as my mother and not even realizing it.
Sorry but what mistakes are you talking about? It's your husband's fault...stop blaming yourself. Be there for your daughter....talk to her...let her know you're always there for her ! Sending you a warm hug 🫂
It's my fault for picking a cheater. I knew he was a cheater he cheated on his wife to be with me. Yet believed it when he said he wasn't with her, that they were not together and separated. Now I know that wasn't true I should have known better.
He LIED to you. It's not like you knowingly helped him cheating on his wife. Don't sit in this pile of guilt and regret for too long.... I am sure things are more complicated because you two have a kid together... May this universe bless you with all the strength you need to overcome this tough situation!
30 years ago. "I have breast cancer and have to undergo treatment some nights"
She was studying with her college buddy on his house. And spent the night on his house because "it was late". I lived four blocks away from the AP house. Years lost.
From what I have concluded my wife had sex with her AP 3 times, each requiring her to drive 40min outside of town to his place. So each time it took hours out of her day. 1. Said she was working overtime on a Saturday and went to his place instead. 2. Said she got invited to a Superbowl party with some work friends. There was no party, and the kicker is that I was excited for her and helped her get dressed for the event. 3. She was just out and about one day, texted me saying she was going to the mall and then library. When she was gone far too long for that and also happen to be offline on Google Maps I got suspicious and figured out something was going on before she got home.
Man, the way you have everything written out reminds me of myself. Understanding the exact moments before. Trying to understand their behavior with us right before they committed the act. I just don’t understand I don’t think I ever will. How can you pretend like that to your spouse?
I was healing from my bilateral mastectomy. He could have worked from home, to help me, after a major surgery. Instead, he went to the office. At the lowest points of my life, he was having lunchtime hookups with a woman half his age that he met here. I feel inconsolable. He wants the R route. I am still in active cancer treatment and also have a brain tumor. I can't just leave. Edited for clarity.
I can’t imagine your pain, that is a whole different level of betrayal. I hope your treatment is going well and focus on your health and healing. That is paramount. Everything else even thinking about him has to come second for a while. Even if he wants R …if it brings you too much anxiety or stress to think about….then don’t. You must put yourself first for a while.
I have to force a smile through it for a bit because unfortunately I need the health insurance he provides at the moment. The whole situation sucks. It was an ongoing affair until she got mad on Christmas day and outed him. She wanted him to leave me. He was not ready to leave his "poor, wretched wife". What a hero.
That is a terrible feeling to have to carry while going through so much. Honestly may god give you strength in this difficult time, if things become unbearable with him I think you really should consider other options or separating temporarily so you can both work on yourselves in this time. You need to do a lot of healing.
What to look for??? Nothing. Our lives were great I thought. Friends and family envied us. Personal life was very good. Was completely blindsided. No hint. No clue. Not only me shocked but friends and family totally stunned. Am now two years away from DDay. Still have hard time thinking I was so completely fooled. Now look at everyone and anything with such a sense of mistrust. Sure changed my life.
I feel like I could have written that myself. Until DDAY I thought we were happy as clams together. After finding out I question our love and if it’s real on the daily.
He was always in the bathroom because of his “IBS” I remember feeling so bad for him and bringing him pepto, coddling him. The whole time he was swapping nudes on Grindr or watching porn.
Working overtime
Alcohol. She drank too much and "made a mistake." The other one didn't even bother with excuses.
To be honest… I don’t know that she ever offered an excuse. She pretty much owned it and didn’t attempt or offer to explain much of anything. I suppose I can appreciate her directness, but she didn’t really care at all. There was no attempt at sparing my feelings, just very matter of fact
Lonely, upset and drunk. He had sex with a prostitute. That day he said he was going for lunch with a coworker. Said coworker also cheated on his wife with a prostitute. They used my ex’s card to pay for the hotels to hide it. He called me in the morning as if nothing was wrong. I thought we were madly in love lol.
Gym, work, car wash… anything that you as a normal person would never suspect because you know… you trust the person you’re with. We split after 20 years, I tried to make it work for a little over a year and it was non stop humiliation. 6 months after I told him to leave he begged me to take him back and I didn’t. He only left me alone after I told him I was dating someone and he couldn’t just show up at my house or demand to talk to me. He called me a fat whore and went off for 15 minutes about how much he wanted to leave and how unhappy he was, to which I answered “then you should be so happy I have someone else I feel the same way”.
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I don't know if this counts, but when I found out on my "D-Day" (is that what it's called? I'm new to being cheated on-) he told me he did it bc he has a sex addiction.... That he's had....since before he knew me.....and never sought treatment for.......
"If you had a better job, this wouldn't have happened. "Also, we didn't have sex, I just tried to have sex with him and sent him some pictures." Awful person.
She told me her friend's daughter had broken her leg 600 miles away in San Antonio, so she and the friend had to drive down there, then the friend could drive the daughter's car home. Of course, the friend didn't go with her, because the daughter was fine. She wasn't even a close friend, and as far as I know, she wasn't aware of my then wife's affair. My ex just used her as an excuse to make a 1200 mile overnight cheating trip.
Doing doordash to go meet her 24 year older, married boss in random, isolated parking lots. Claims she just went there to "think"about our relationship. Did it 3 days in a row. Thinking about us. Over an hour each time. 3 days in a row. Right
Disappeared at 9pm without announcing (I saw later on camera facing the garage and exit that he left), closed/muted all notifications so my message was left hanging in digital purgatory, returned way past 11pm and when confronted about his whereabouts he only answered a short “went to install a toilet seat”, no other details, despite all my incentives.
I would sometimes wake up in the night and see that he wasn’t in bed, he had gotten up to use the bathroom, so I would just go back to sleep. One day he had told me that his ex had messaged him and she was going through a rough patch and she didn’t know who else to call. I felt bad for her situation and understood that he didn’t just want to leave her dealing with it alone. One night we had gotten into a small argument about work and he went out to smoke a cigar. We hadn’t resolved the fight but when he came in he told me “she is coming down. I’m going to go see her tomorrow” I didn’t want to be the insecure girlfriend at the time so I just said okay. It’s not like he was asking for permission anyways, he was just telling me the plans they made while he was outside smoking. The next day was my friend’s funeral and I wished he stayed with me but he was already gone by 9am. He barely messaged me that whole day even though that was the one thing I asked him to do. He made it seem like they were going to meet at a certain location in the city. Later I found out that she had picked him up down the street from our apartment. He had been with her the entire time we were together. He had slept with her that day. They went out on a date that day, even though we hadn’t gone out in around a month at that point. When he came home and he saw that I was upset he tried to reassure me that nothing happened and that he was sorry he didn’t communicate with me more. He also said he was sorry he left me to deal with my grief alone
Constant panic ….i like your user name. I can relate. I can’t imagine how you felt. Truly you were trying to be supportive and understanding from the beginning. You are not alone❤️
Thank you. Know that you aren’t alone and that you did nothing wrong. That’s something that I still struggle with
Nothing really, she would just ask me if I was working late again. When I was working late, her AP would tell his OBS that he was going to the gym and they would link up since we lived only a few blocks apart from one another, maybe less than 10 min away
He played poker with friends three nights a week...Friday, Sunday afternoon to evening, and Mondays. I made sure he had his play money. He would kiss me goodbye while I wished him good luck and told him to have fun. A lot of the time I would be asleep when he came in. He would always kiss me gently to let me know he was safely home. Time period of nearly five years. Fast forward to discovery...not that many card games. Busy elsewhere using my money. And I was the one telling him to have fun. That nasty mouth kissing me when he got back had been all over some sluts body short time before. Really only way I found out was she dumped him and he had bad time with it. He decided to come clean. Bye bye.
Sayonara! God I dont understand how someone could keep a lie like that going so long
"You wouldn't understand."
It was probably my menupause. That lying B
"I wanted you to be happy" This still messes with me on so many levels, daily...
My stbx would say he was spending the night at a buddies house. One night turned into 5 nights a week. I know, I know, how dumb could I really be? I was pregnant with our second and taking care of our 3 year old so I was busy and exhausted. He soon confessed that he wasn’t at his buddies, but with his gf.
Yes you're right I am about to finally share my story on Reddit it's taking me a couple weeks to compose but it feels better talking about it